I really enjoyed this episode mostly because it showed off how enforcing and maintaining boundaries is an important part of every relationship. I’ve played the roles of both Kiki and Jenny without boundaries and it always sucked. Either I felt neglected and resentful or manipulative.
I identified with every single action and feeling Kiki did or had this episode, though. The toxic cycle of wanting to please a family member/loved ones at the expense of my own well-being can appear as a loving gesture or selflessness, but it’s obviously toxic and damaging. Kiki was having nightmares for two weeks straight. Overextending yourself isn’t a loving action–it’s a recipe for resentment, and it always sucks. But I’d fool myself into thinking I was caring when I’d see how happy I made them and how they appreciated me. Kiki got a kiss on the cheek and was told that she was Jenny’s “favorite twin.” It’s fees good to think that we’re helping people, but sometimes it’s at the expense of our own happiness.
I loved the representation of Kiki and Jenny’s relationship via the dream with Pizza Jenny trying to envelop Kiki. Kiki felt trapped in a cycle that she didn’t really want to be a part of, but felt like she was being pulled into it because Jenny was her sister. Kiki immediately rushed to Pizza Jenny to make sure she was OK when she thought something was wrong with her. It’s what twins/sisters/family/loved ones do for one another. They care. But Kiki’s unwillingness to set boundaries caused her to have nightmares and lose sleep.
The funny thing about Kiki finally saying “no” was that nothing bad happened. I’m sure she thought that Jenny would love her less or at least not tell Kiki that she was her favorite twin because she wasn’t fulfilling the role of “the nice” twin. That Jenny’s world would crumble to pieces if she didn’t get what she wanted. But it didn’t. Kiki enforced a boundary, and Jenny understood and gave Kiki the space to have her own me time. Their relationship is actually a healthy one because I’ve had people question why I wouldn’t carry out the role that I’d previously been performing or try to guilt trip me into resuming it.
It’s really important that Kiki learned that she can say no. I feel like she also learned one of my favorite pieces of info–that “No” is a complete sentence. It’s not a conversation, but it’s all that should be necessary if you’re asked a question. An explanation isn’t mandatory, and a “No” should be respected. I suck at stopping at “No” because I want people to understand why I’m unable or don’t want to do something because then maybe they’ll understand. But they don’t HAVE to. The world won’t end because somebody didn’t get what they wanted. I feel like the episode gets that message across. That and the benefits of boundaries. Kiki got to have her me time and be free. She looked happy and well-rested. Easily one of my favorite episode of the series.