or necessity


It isn’t utility that’s behind his investment in me, nor necessity, nor dependency. This much is clear to me now.. I have earned his respect. I have earned his trust. I have his true friendship. And so he’s going to have mine. And as long as that is true, I cannot imagine what is possible.

anonymous asked:

*curtsies* One of the things I really admire about you is your independence and I really need some advice about moving out for the first time. My best friend and I both got into the same MA program so we'll be roommates but it's the first time we're going to be living away from our parents. We're both quite introverted people and I'm the type of person that hates change. However, the reason I decided to move away was so I could experience adulthood. Do you have any advice for a starter adult??

*curtsies* Right, this started as a normal paragraph post but then it got too long so here’s a list.

Advice for Starter Adults

  1. Budget. Everything is more expensive than you think it is. Figure out what your monthly spending cap is, figure out what the necessities are going to be each month and how much you’ll have left over for pocket money. Then STICK TO YOUR BUDGET. There is nothing worse than your card getting declined because there’s no money in your account or not being able to pay your rent at the end of the month. Most importantly: (1) Leave yourself a cushion and a backup plan for emergencies. Things come up unexpectedly. You don’t want to be down to your last five dollars when your car breaks down on the side of the road. My advice is to put a chunk of money in a savings account and just pretend it’s not there until you’re in a tight spot and you need it. (2) Keep track of what you’re spending on what. Ask for receipts. This is a really good habit to get into and trust me, you will be much better off when you start doing your own taxes if you have an exact record of all your spending. (Also: Don’t use a credit card at the bar. Take cash out at the beginning of the night and when that runs out, stop. This is a great way to avoid the unpleasant surprise of an $80 bar tab in the morning and also keeps you from getting embarrassingly drunk.)
  2. Talk to your roommates. Turning from ‘friends’ to ‘roommates’ has wrecked a lot of friendships. It might sound ideal to live with your best friend but it’s actually a lot harder than it sounds. The best way to avoid hating your best friend is to communicate. If they do something you’re not okay with, tell them instead of stewing about it. Encourage them to do the same. Talk to each other and establish ground rules even if you think you’ll never need them. Because you will. 
  3. Talk to people besides your roommates. When you go off to college with a good friend it can be really tempting to use that person as a security blanket and only hang out with them. Don’t do that. The first risk you run is that you’ll get sick of each other and it will have a seriously negative impact on your friendship. The second is that you won’t meet anyone new and you’ll regret that down the road. A friendship is like any other relationship in that being conjoined at the hip isn’t healthy. Have other friends, pursue your own interests, and get back together to talk about it at the end of the day.
  4. Clean up after yourself. Especially in shared space, and don’t wait until three days later to do it. This goes not just for your house or dorm but for classrooms, libraries, etc. Nothing says “I’m still a child” like not cleaning up your own mess. But this goes for your own space, too. You will have a much easier time functioning if your room isn’t a wreck, so just keep it clean. It will do wonders for your mental health. 
  5. Budget time for housework and errands. If you don’t make time to do laundry and go to the grocery store you’re going to be naked and hungry a lot. These things take time. So book hours into your schedule on days you don’t have class to get shit done. 
  6. Budget time for work AND relaxation. A lot of people crash and burn in college and grad school because they don’t understand how to divide their time. Yes, schoolwork should be your priority, but you also need to make sure you’re spending time relaxing because if you don’t, you will wreck your mental health. Take your playtime seriously.
  7. Make lists. Make lists of what groceries you need to buy, what you need to get done before Monday, emails you need to send, whatever. Write shit down and cross it off as you get through it. This will not only greatly reduce stress because you know exactly what you need to get done in a given day and you’re not going to forget anything. 
  8. Eat as healthy as you can. Trust me, I understand exactly how expensive produce is and how tempting it is to live on coffee and Cheerios because it’s cheap. But that kind of diet (or worse, a diet of Doritos and Aristocrat) will take a toll, believe me. Find a place to shop where you can get some reasonably healthy stuff at reasonable prices. Buy store-brand versions of name-brand stuff. (It’s a lot cheaper and it tastes exactly the same.) If your diet sucks it’s going to cause all kind of other problems: breakouts, weight gain, lethargy, etc. Learn how to feed yourself. Make lists for the store so you have the stuff to make actual meals at home. And if you have problems with junk food or overeating, here’s the most important tip: Just don’t buy that shit. Don’t keep beer or potato chips or chocolate in the house if you know you’ll end up eating it while you binge-watch The Crown at three in the morning. Buy healthy snacks instead and you’ll have no choice but to eat those when you have a craving, and save the chocolate for special occasions.
  9. Get more sleep than you think you need. The older you get, the more you will start to feel it when you don’t get enough sleep, so guess what? BUDGET YOUR SLEEP TIME INTO YOUR SCHEDULE. There are only 24 hours in a day and you need to use like at least seven of them for sleeping. 
  10. Exercise. Look, being a teenager is great because you have an elastic metabolism, hangovers don’t exist, and you’re going to bounce back pretty quickly from eating a cheeseburger every day for a week. Once you hit about 23, the glory days are over and before you know it you’ll have gained fifteen pounds and be feeling pretty crappy. So nip that in the bud. Most universities have student health centers, and even if they don’t you can always exercise in the great outdoors for free. Find some kind of exercise you like and guess what? Budget it into your schedule. If you’re a person who’s never exercised in the past, don’t get me wrong, it will suck the first few weeks you do it. But after that it will start to feel really good and you will be much happier and healthier. (Not to mention, you will look better, and that’s always a plus.)
  11. Don’t put off doctor’s appointments. Dude, I am SO bad at this. It takes forever and it’s always awkward and it’s just easier not to think about it. But you know what? It’s even easier to plan it in advance instead of trying to shoehorn it in at the last moment because you need a prescription refilled. 
  12. Don’t do dumb stuff just because you can. Getting out from under the parental eye can be exciting and very liberating. However. Most of the rules your parents have are to keep you from accidentally maiming or mortally embarrassing yourself. So take careful stock of decisions that seem reckless. Like, don’t go out and adopt an 80-pound dog because your parents never let you have a puppy. Don’t get wasted on a Tuesday and hook up with a random stranger twice your age just because nobody’s going to stop you. Being an adult is about having the freedom to make your own decisions but not being a dumbass about it. 
  13. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Start small. Under-commit yourself at first because I promise things are going to come up that you didn’t expect. So don’t sign up for twice the recommended number of classes and three intramural teams at the same time. Start small and add to your workload if you find you have the time and energy to do more. You have much greater odds of success that way.
  14. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Adulting is hard. There is no instruction manual. If you need help, ask. Professional Adults understand that being an Amateur Adult is hard, because they had to do it once, too. Chances are they will be happy to help so long as you ask politely. So. No idea how to balance a checkbook? Ask your mom. No idea how to get grass stains out of your jeans? Ask your dad. No idea how to navigate the library? Ask. No idea how to format a college paper? Ask. Admitting you don’t know how to do stuff and then doing what you have to to learn is part of being an adult. Pretending you know how to do stuff you don’t and accidentally breaking your dishwasher is not.
  15. Don’t beat yourself up if you screw up. Look. Inevitably, it’s going to happen. You’re going to lock yourself out of the house or overdraw your bank account or hit a mailbox backing out of your parking lot. Shit like that is going to happen for the rest of your life regardless of how good at adulting you are. The most adult thing you can learn to do is deal with it reasonably. Melting down because you made a mistake is childish, so don’t do that. When you screw up, laugh it off is that’s appropriate, fix it if you can, and get on with your life. 

Anyway, those are the basics. Good luck!

anonymous asked:

Shading on Mon El last ep because he lied to Kara and now Maggie did the same thing covering her ass and lying w/o necessity to Alex. Let's see what y'all make up this time to cover her ass too

maggie doesn’t talk about her feelings because she doesn’t trust people as a result of the emotional trauma she endured as a literal child at the hands of her parents, mon el lied because he knew kara wouldn’t like that he owned fucking slaves.

I went shopping!

I’ve picked up a few items since I started losing weight, but It was mostly pants, and it was mostly a necessity, because my old pants were distractingly large. I also hosted a LuLaRoe party and got a bunch of very cute skirts and dresses, and a few shirts.  But yesterday was the first time I’ve really gone shopping since I started losing weight.

I had credit card rewards and birthday rewards and coupons at Lane Bryant, and I had birthday rewards at Torrid, where all the clearance was buy 1 get TWO free!

The first thing I tried on was a pair of cropped jeans in a 20 (2-3 sizes smaller than I was wearing when I started exercising!).  They went on with no problem!  So I bought them.  And I bought another pair in black.  And I bought this shirt, which is also a size smaller than nearly everything in my closet, because I felt so great in this outfit.

My dressing room was insane, though, because I had no idea what sizes to bring in with me, so I was bringing at least two of everything I liked.  

I tried on a dress in a 20, and it was way too big, so the saleswoman brought me the 18, and it fit better, but it just wasn’t right.  So she asked if she could bring me a different dress, but when she went to get it, they were out of 18, so she brought me a 16.

Originally posted by allreactions

And it fit.

Originally posted by gameraboy

You guys, I haven’t worn a 16 in anything since I was probably a sophomore in college.  That’s more than a decade ago.  I didn’t end up buying it, because I wasn’t going to pay full price for it, but damn, it felt good.  I also got a few more shirts in a smaller size, so I’m not rocking that 80s off-the-shoulder look as much anymore.

When I went into Torrid, I had no idea about the sweet clearance deals.  I just wanted to use my birthday rewards.  So I was able to get 2 workout tanks (one says Goal Digger *heart eyes*) and a lace shrug, and I only paid $17.  It was glorious.

imperator-cj  asked:

You know it gets me when people are like "if people have free food/water/shelter/healthcare why would anyone work?" Because, there's still like extra shit people will want? Like people will work to have cell phones, tv, internet, cars, etc? People aren't gonna just stop working because the basic necessities to live a full, healthy life are met. People will still want the luxuries they would be able to afford if they didn't have to worry about baseline stuff.

That and people are actually naturally unsatisfied with doing absolutely nothing. People will have time to study, read, craft, write, make all kinds of art, and take care of loved ones. There have already been multiple universal basic income experiments and the result has been that most people kept their jobs for extra money. They people who quit their jobs were young people who wanted to go to school and single parents who wanted to be able to take care of their kids full time. It seems clear to me that providing people with basic shit will only make the world a better place but whatevs.

anonymous asked:

You say ur broke and then you go planning trips to vegas????? Like arent you in London or somthing thats not what broke people do

I’m broke in the ‘my debit account that I use to pay bills and groceries is £359 into my overdraft’ way.

I have a savings account which has money that I inherited from my uncle when he passed two years ago, which is the money I use to go on vacations, conventions, etc - Asylum, HVFF, Bahamas, Vegas, Hamilton. 

When my uncle was alive, whenever he’d visit, he’d leave a little bit of money (like £10 each for my brothers and I) and tell us to ‘fritter it away on something fun’ - meaning we weren’t to use it for ‘necessities’, we were to use it for something we’d enjoy, something we’d treasure.

I hold the firm belief that he’d want me to spend this inheritance the same way. He wouldn’t want me to use it to get me back into the black on my debit account, he wouldn’t want me to use it on groceries or rent. He’d want me to use it for something fun, something I’ll remember forever, and I’ll always associate with him. It’s because of him that I’m able to do these things.

So no, when I say I’m broke, that’s not a lie. Now I’ve got a job, I’m not going to be broke in any sense anymore, and I’ll even be able to add some of my own earnings into the savings account with my uncle’s money.

I hope you understand that, dear anon. I’ve not been lying to you at all.

anonymous asked:

is it abuse if my mom guilts me for hours about how she provides a roof over my head, food and transportation when i don't do anything for her?

i will say it definitely sounds like emotional abuse. by law she is required to give you basic necessities or lose custody. “letting” you live and eat isn’t doing you a favor. it’s the bare minimum of being a parent.

anonymous asked:


Not so Fun Fact: My mom has been writing fanfiction for 20+ years. In her late teens she began to plot out a Star Wars novel. She wrote in her spare time and really gave it her all. Almost 50K words.

Unfortunately, marrying my sperm donor was a mistake. He was controlling, didn’t let her touch money or have more than one outfit to wear. He refused basic necessities like diapers for me or milk. He was physically abusive. 

She came home late from church one evening and he assaulted her and then, to punish her further, burned all her notebooks(those holding her novel notes included) and comics so she would have no entertainment. We were living in a shed that belonged to the pastor of the church, which resided on his property. He had electricity hooked up and a small bathroom and fridge installed and rented it out to us. No TV, computer, video games, books, toys for me, or anything to do but sit and pray.

After that first incident, she lost her zeal for writing until back in 2010 when I started writing fluffy fanfics. She supports my writing and is glad that I can do it. She struggles now and writing even a paragraph is a trip.

I had to write the last chapter of her second fic, and then she went in and altered it with her preferred facts and details. Anymore, she just reads fics and recs them to me. I got her into some of my OTPs.

She wants to write, but nothing will come to her anymore. It’s sad af.

I feel like indulging myself ;

Enjolras woke up earlier than Grantaire, by necessity if not by personal choice. Grantaire made a sleepy sound when she got up, her hand reaching out for her still-warm pillow, but her eyes stayed close and when she found nothing but air where Enjolras had been a moment before, she only curled up on her side and squeezed the blankets around her. Enjolras, who had thought herself above such sentimentalities, lingered near the bed, just a few more moments, observing Grantaire as if she’d been transformed in a whole new person suddenly.

She hadn’t, of course; it was absurd to think that because Enjolras had heard her moan and plead the night before, flushing profusedly when Enjolras found the right places to kiss, that there would be anything different between the Grantaire from today and the one who had followed her home the night before. Still - Enjolras thought, and then stopped, almost uncertain. The unknown had never scared her, but this was so far from all she had imagined herself doing of her life, that agitation seized her.

Had she truly a lover, now? A mistress? Was that what Grantaire was going to be to her? And, if so, what did it mean about Enjolras? Was she a mistress too? Or was she to consider herself fully a man, now that she’d crossed the last barriere, taking a woman to bed with her?

“Enjolras,” muttered Grantaire, her voice muffled by the blankets. “You are tempting me, and that is unfair of you; must I keep sleeping or come to you? Must I beg again, seeing you like that, hovering over me as gracious and fierce as Artemis, to convince you to come back besides me? You must tell me here what there is to say; i have a billions words for you, they’re all from Lesbos, stolen from the lips of a great poet who knew how to love better than most, but you know worshippers don’t choose, they mereley follow and -”

Enjolras, hesitating between fondness and amusement, decided not to choose; she decided not to think too much either. She sat back on the bed, let Grantaire blindly grab her fingers, and with a heart beating perhaps just a tad too much, she bent over and pressed her lips against Grantaire’s forehead, smiling against her skin as Grantaire hummed silently.

“I cannot stay,” she murmured. “But i have no doubt you’ll make do with this place while I’m gone.” She took a short breath, wondered if she was making the right decision and then, she brushed her Grantaire’s hair out of her face and she added: “feel free to come tonight. I know Joly and Bossuet, at the very least, will only be happier to have you by their side.”


I love ferries ok
i hate cruise liners though
not that i judge
the ones that find
a deck to be
the perfect place
to recline
but ferries have an honesty
they are all about
moving stuff
from A to B
their primary job
its not leisure
they have a different measure
getting stuff shifted
a voyage with a purpose
a journey of necessity
not just a floating battle
with indulgence and sobriety

The desert is noisier than she anticipated.  

A pinch of peace and quiet might’ve been nice, might have done wonders after the Roekaar shitshow.  But between the Kett turbines, the Nomad, and the forward station, there’s a lot of idle grumbling spreading across the sand.  Liam sprawls in the shade of the front tires, watching Drack pace and stretch.  Petra gnaws her chewy fruit bar.

“We’re not going to get to them all today,” she says, mouth full, cutting her eyes to the freshly placed survey beacon.  It’s more a memorial than a necessity at this point.  Guy should’ve started way out here, not in the valley.  Fewer bugs, and no Kett.  He might’ve lived to teach his kid the thrill of climbing mountains to place fucking beacons, instead of…

She takes another bite and has Sam play Camper’s kid’s automated message again, just a smidge too loud, to drown out the growling machines.  The voice is full of comfortable love, encouraging, warm.  Petra swallows her lump of fruit bar.

When the message concludes, Liam shakes his head.  

“It’s okay.  We did what we could,” he says, pushing the canteen toward her.

Petra’s butt aches, sitting on the hard-packed sand, while her back numbs against the humming forward station.  She uncaps the canteen but doesn’t drink at first, staring at the beacon’s shimmer through the haze.

“Sam said Dad thought pain brought us to better understanding,” she murmurs, her voice dry, “or something like that.”  The water is metallic and tepid but it helps.

Drack makes a hacking sound that could be a laugh, and says, “If that were true there’d be a helluva lot more smart people walking around.”

Keep reading

She is the sublime manifestation of a powerful divinity dwelling, men believe, above the orbit of the moon. Others define her as the personification of a protective power, exercising a general surveillance over the destinies of individuals, and represented in the theogonies of old as the daughter of justice, who from her unseen eternal throne looks down upon all things on earth. Queen over all causation and arbiter and umpire of all events, she controls the urn from which men’s lots are cast and regulates their vicissitudes of fortune, often bringing their enterprises to a different end from that which they designed and confounding their various actions by the changes which she imposes. It is she, too, who binds the vainly swelling pride of mortal men in the indissoluble chain of necessity, and casts, as she alone can, her weight into the scale by which they rise or fall; at one moment she bears down upon the stiff necks of the proud and takes away their strength, at another she raises the good out of the dust and exalts them to prosperity. The myths of antiquity endowed her with wings so that all might understand that she appears with the speed of the bird; they put a rudder in her hand and a wheel beneath her feet to signify that she runs through all the elements and governs the universe.

anonymous asked:

hello! can I ask you a quick zelda question? so I have a Wii U but not a Switch, though I'll be able to get a Switch in like two or three months. I've been waiting to get BoTW until I get the Switch, but hearing how awesome it is is breaking my resolve lmao. should I go ahead and buy it for the Wii U or is it worth waiting to get it on the Switch?

it is SO worth the wait for the switch, in MY opinion. But I also actively take the switch with me everywhere I go. It’s always in my purse and I play on the rail commuting to/from work and during my lunch breaks, so I get in 2-3 hours of play time every day even if I don’t touch it when I get home. 

So, I guess it’s really a question of your necessity? I prefer the switch because sometimes those downtimes during my commute/breaks are the only times when i really CAN squeeze in some zelda. But if you don’t plan on ever taking it on the go, I don’t see why you can’t buy it early for the wii u. 

The portability of the switch was ideal for me, but it’s not for everyone! Were you planning to buy it twice, maybe? I’ve had the game for about a month and haven’t even touched on the main story quest yet. I’ve spent over forty hours just exploring and building my map/completing shrines and side quests. SO?! That being said, I think it’s totally plausible (if a little costly) to own the game on both consoles, if you plan for one to be the one you do story stuff on and the other to be the one you piddle around with. 

Does that make sense? Now it just seems redundant.


i’ve set aside the money for my first month of rent and i only have $80 to use for moving and buying necessities for my new room haaha holy fuck i’m screwed

My mom just came to me asking if I could put Dark Necessities by RHCP on her USB flash drive so she could listen to it in her car because she thought it was a good song.

So, me, being the greatest daughter in the world, casually mention that I have the whole The Getaway album on my computer.

My mom’s response: “Oh, just put it on there. If there are songs I don’t like, I’ll skip them.” 

In short, ladies and gentlemen, I’m slowly but surely turning my mom into a fan.

Thanks @josai for tagging me!

i almost forgot to do this oops

5 things you’ll find in my bag:
1.  chapstick: i’ll wither into a husk and blow away without it
2. spanish textbook: i took a spanish class last semester and i really loved it
3. dice: all kinds of colorful dice from when i was studying game design they were a necessity
4. a hairclip: it’s a small cute one for an emergency… when i need to be fancy… (when will a fancy emergency arise for me to use this specific hairclip???)
5. somehow i have splenda packets in my bag??? i assume it’s for tea but where is the tea???

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:
1.  Too many books (so many… i never get rid of any… and i keep buying more… where will i put them all…)
2. Chipped mugs: Anytime i break a mug that i like i just keep it and put pencils in it or something, so i have a bunch on my desk
3. Fanart: years ago my best friend drew me pictures of ed from fullmetal alchemist for my birthday and it’s still hanging up on my wall lol
4. peppermint sugar scrub: another friend of mine made me a jar of this for christmas and its??? so great??? my hands are so soft now amazing
5. Appa: my sister and i got matching stuffed appa plushies and they’re  ADORABLE 

5 things I’m currently into:
1. Kingdom Hearts: i’m replaying a lot of the old games and i just finished 2.8 honestly these games are so good it’s bringing back a lot of nostalgia 
2. Lord of the Rings: my sister and i are watching 1 disc of the extended addition of these movies every night and it’s really fun i forgot a lot about these movies so it’s nice to see them again
3. Haikyuu!!: honestly when am i NOT into haikyuu iwaoi is an all consuming fire it’s taken over my whole life send help
4. Figure Skating: I blame yoi for rekindling my love for figure skating the world championships are about to start and i’m so excited 
5. Samurai Jack: i’ve been slowly watching old eps of this show, i never saw it as a kid and they’re doing a (reboot? new season?) more new episodes so i’m preparing!

5 things on my to-do list:
1. actually finish any of the fics i’ve been writing and post them instead of switching projects every FIVE SECONDS
2. learn more spanish (i only know a little but i want to be able to speak it fluently one day)
3. re-watch haikyuu and yoi when i get a chance…
4. get my hair cut… i want an undercut… but can’t commit…
5. draw something for the april fool’s day artist swap @amalasdraws mentioned aka the only good thing to ever come out of april fool’s day

5 things people may not know about me:
1. i can’t eat anything with wheat/gluten so no bread for me~
2. i have two (2) rescue pugs and both are blind/vision impaired 
3. i have one (1) little sister but i talk about her all the time so this isn’t even a good unknown fact
4. i’m a theatre kid and was on the speech/debate team in high school
5. my favorite book series is The Belgariad by David Eddings 

@cvtecas @trashytacosan @fireplaceishot @miecer @queeniwaizumi if you haven’t done this already feel free!

anonymous asked:

I've got kind of a random question. Who is lamorak and why doesn't he ever show up anywhere?

Lamorak is an agent of the table, currently fancast with Damien Lewis. He and a few other agents (Kay, Ector), and support staff (the kennel master, the boudica, lab rat) all either in canon disapprove of, or have little to no interest in the blog.

The KEU at this point has 30-40 distinctly voiced characters from the movie and ocs that I work really hard on. By necessity of my own time and energy since I run the blog and write all the stories by myself, some characters rarely make appearances in the blog and only briefly show in the stories.

It is frankly for my own sanity to keep a few characters more in the background.