or maybe who i wish i was

Pinch of Nutmeg - Part 4

Pairing: Jensen × Reader

Word Count: 2900

Summary: The reader is a young and upcoming chef who takes up an opportunity in Vancouver where she by chance befriends Jensen.  After several years apart and seeing each other at a convention. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Obviously I intend no hate or ill wishes to him or his family. This is purely just for writing and wasting my time.

Again, this is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors.

Special thanks and shout out to @misguidedconqueress for reviewing, editing, suggestions, and as always putting up with me.


Scott was anxious to get back to Vancouver. He had been on a tour of the restaurants in the States and had been busy with a few TV promotions. He arrived early to check on the kitchen and dining room. It was rumored that this site may soon be privileged with a visit by a Michelin star inspector. Although, he didn’t want to overthink it, everything had to be in exactly the right place. He was expecting to start this morning by working on a seasonal menu in order to give the restaurant that extra notch it needed.

He was walking through the dining room when something across the street caught his attention. An old competitor’s restaurant was being gutted out. “What is that?!” He yelled at his staff. “Why was I not informed?!” He demanded.

He became more furious when no one answered him. He ran his fingers through his wavy red hair. There was so much work he had to catch up on if he would even be considered for a star but a new competitor could jeopardize the entire process. He threw down his apron and headed out across the street to get a better look.

Although he had seen workers going in and out with materials, the windows themselves were lined with butcher’s paper so the public could not view inside. On one of the parchments was scrawled ‘The Spotted Zebra - Microbrewery and Eatery - Coming Soon.’ He scoffed at the name. On top of a new menu and a barely functional staff this was the last thing he needed.

He pulled at the door which was unlocked and walked in. Wood floor was being laid down, and a bar spanning the east wall with cabinets made from French doors. The workers seemed occupied and he walked through unnoticed. He continued to make his way to the back discovering part of an open kitchen and another portion hidden in the back. Although most was up and running, some appliances were being replaced and updated.

“No shit,” He said when he saw you working with another chef, writing down a recipe. You turned around and smiled. “Was it always your plan to stab me in the back?”  He joked, relieved it was you.

“Scott!” You yelled ecstatic. “Took you long enough to find out, are you losing your edge?” You teased back.

“I should have had you sign a contract about becoming competition.” He said joyfully with a little bit of seriousness.

“Oh no, no, no. We are going to help each other.” He raised an eyebrow waiting to hear your scheme. “You see once customers realize your entrees that could fit on a spoon won’t fill them up, they’ll waltz on over here for some real food and wash away the guilt of spending too much money at your place with a beer.”

“That seems more parasitic than mutual.” Scott commented.

“But it’s not! Because those who start out here will have lowered their inhibitions and I’ll send ‘em your way to empty their wallets.” You played.

“When I said you’d come back to work for me, this is not what I had in mind.” He confessed.

“You gotta let me take flight, Chef… speaking of flights, come here.” you said leading him into the building where you had also purchased the first floor for the brewery.

You led him through the maze of fermentors and kettles. “I think I want to turn this wall to glass so customers can see the process.” You described.

You led him to a testing station. “We have a sour and a saison ready to go.” You said pouring them out into a couple small glasses.

“No bias in that decision, presumably?” He asked knowing they had always been your favorites.

“Of course not.” You smirked before sipping on the sour.

Scott’s brow furrowed as he caught a glimpse of Jensen walking down the sidewalk and into the other part of the building. “What’s he doing here?” He asked with a sense of urgency and protectiveness in his voice.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Any advice for feminine-sounding players who want to participate in team chat in Overwatch without getting harassed?

I wish I had advice but I don’t. I play almost exclusively with friends. Does anyone else have some advice maybe?

anonymous asked:

Hi, random anon here! I love your comics and art, and you're an inspiration to me! I have this one question that maybe you can answer: What are some things you think that are considered offensive as someone who is transgender that would be found in fictional pieces(as in books, tv show, game, etc)? And what are some things you wish you could see more of? I'm trying to write a story that features the mc who's transgender, and I want to make sure the story won't offend anybody. Thank u 4 ur time!

Hey friend!

First off, thank you so much for the incredibly kind compliments~ I’m glad that you like my comics and super humbled to be considered a source of inspiration. Like, what?? Haha.

Secondly, this is gonna get long, and also may have potentially triggering content for trans folks, just FYI.

As far as writing a trans main character I will say that I can only really speak to this from my personal experience, so, as a trans man. If you’re writing a trans woman, I would recommend reaching out to a trans gal who might be cool with offering feedback, and blogs like @scriptlgbt are super super useful too and probably have a broader scope of feedback for you.

I feel like the answer to this depends a lot on what the content of your story is, but I understand not wanting to get into specifics. If you are not a trans person, and your story is about a trans person coming to understand and embrace their gender identity/undergoing transition/coming out, my first piece of advice would be to really, really consider maybe not telling the story from that angle. That particular subject matter is incredibly subjective and if it’s something you’ve never experienced, not only do you run a massive risk of misstepping but you also run the risk of speaking over the voices of people who are trans. I’m not by any means saying that it’s impossible to approach in such a way that even as a cis person you could fucking nail it and tell a really phenomenal, poignant story about that, but I personally would advise a generous measure of caution.

If the main character in your story just happens to be trans, badass, but it may not really come up all that much. Like, as a trans person I will go get a masculine haircut and take in a picture of, idk, Brad Pitt or whoever, but I’m not like, “I need this haircut because I’m trans.” “I’m buying these men’s button downs because I’m trans.” “I prefer mint chocolate chip ice cream because I’m trans.” So don’t get too hung up on the fact that they’re trans. They’re a person, at the end of the day, and they deserve to be approached the same way any other person is. You might need to add in some details to round out their experience - for example, if it’s a modern story and not some futuristic sci-fi thing where transitioning is magical and easy (which I have A LOT of probably unpopular opinions on) then you may want to throw in some notes about your character taking his T-shot or applying his gel, etc. Or if he’s earlier on in his transition than that, maybe mention that his binder is hell on this particularly hot Louisiana day while he’s digging around for sources on this murder. Stuff like that.

If you’re poking into the world of queer erotica, first off, good for you! We definitely need more! But keep in mind that everyone’s relationship with their genitalia is different and if you’re going to address trans characters being explicitly intimate you’re going to want to have a solid idea of what their situation is and how they interact with it. Having said that, one of the worst possible things that you can do - in my opinion - in terms of a trans character, unless it’s a prudent part of the story (a la a coming out story) is to have people constantly bringing up the fact that they “used to be x.” It’s really disrespectful and trans people often take major steps in their lives to remove themselves from the company of people who are incapable of respecting their current reality. Additionally, unless it’s important to the story, don’t have anyone out your trans character or dead name them for shock value. That’s really shitty and terrible when it happens in real life, I would personally rather not read it in fiction too.

I, personally, would love to see more characters who may be curious if and when the knowledge comes up but are just supportive and don’t really give a fuck. That’s just my preference, though, as all of this is. What is and isn’t offensive will vary for different people. For example, I have seen a trans dude’s junk referred to as a “boypussy” and a “boycunt” in some fanfiction written by a trans person, and while I personally find that grossly offensive, others may not.

I’m not really sure if any of this is helpful, but I hope that it is, and if you don’t mind, I’ll invite my followers to write in with perhaps some additional feedback. And of course feel free to write in with more specifics and I might be able to provide a more nuanced outlook.

Either way, best of luck with your writing! :)

i want even’s story to be fully shown and explained as much as everyone else but if he was the main there would have been drama between him and isak bc there’s no way the main could just be in a happy relationship the whole time. i kinda prefer knowing that this whole time him and isak were just chilling and being in love. maybe isak is the only one who gets to fully know even’s story but i’m kinda okay with that if it means they’ve been happy

Hey everyone!

If you reblog this before May 26, 2017, I will create a special bunny character just for you, personalized to match your Tumblr blog! Additionally, for every person you tag (max is 10) I’ll write a sentence about their characteristics and personality.

If this side project becomes too much for whatever reason, and I can and will end it early. If ended early, I’ll still complete any bunnies who where rebloged before then, just not accepting any more. Thank you for your understanding.

he’s gonna start reciting a poem any minute.

(Dear mom and dad, please don’t kill me over this permanent choice. I want you to hear me out.)

Today, I am coming out with something that only few of you know. I am ready to have a conversation about my mental illness.

Last year, I was diagnosed with depression. And in all honesty, I believe it was a problem for quite a while before that, but I think it just got worse to the point of hardly functioning.

So today, I got this tattoo. I feel that my leg was the best place for the meaning behind it. When everyone else sees it, they see “I’m fine,” but from my viewpoint, it reads “save me.” To me, it means that others see this person that seems okay, but, in reality, is not okay at all. It reminds me that people who may appear happy, may be at battle with themselves.

To me, depression is the days that I feel sad for no reason.
Depression is the mornings that I don’t feel capable of getting out of bed.
Depression is the sleeping too much, or sleeping too little.
Depression is the homework that I never completed, simply because I didn’t feel like I was capable.
Depression is the break downs I have over absolutely nothing.
Depression is the eating too much, or eating too little.
Depression is the nights I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed, even though everything is going right.
Depression is the 50 pounds I carry in my chest at all times.
Depression is the need to constantly be distracted (being on social media, playing video games, watching movies or shows, or working all the time) because I can’t trust myself with my thoughts for longer than 3 minutes.
Depression is the friendships that have suffered because of my inability to function.
Depression is the hurtful thoughts and actions I have towards myself.
Depression is the tears I have because I don’t know why I feel so worthless, when I know I should feel happy.

This is one of the most difficult things to open up about because it’s extremely hard for me to feel vulnerable…but this needs to be talked about. Mental illness is serious, but so shamed in our society. We care so much for our physical health, but hardly a thing about our mental state. And that is seriously messed up. Mental illness is not a choice and will likely hit everyone at some point in their life. If it’s such a huge issue, why aren’t we having this conversation about it?

That’s why I got this tattoo; they are great conversation starters. This forces me to talk about my own struggle, and why the awareness of it is important. You’d be surprised by how many people YOU know that struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. I may only be one person, but one can save another…and that’s all I could really ask for.

Maybe this is part of why I am so interested in psychology. I want to help people who feel the way I have—and still do—because it’s hell. And I don’t wish that upon anyone.

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
—Robin Williams

**Also, THANK YOU to the ones who have helped me in this battle. I would not be where I am without you.**

Renaissance Faire - Race and Culture

This month hosts The Renaissance Pleasure Faire in Los Angeles. For those of you who have never been to a Ren Faire, one of the key aspects of it is costume and dressing up. 

When I was in High School and would go with my High School friends, I was always a little jealous of the costumes that they would wear. All of my friends in High School you see, were white. The costumes that they would wear always looked right on them and somehow, wrong on me. 

One year, I took things into my own hands and decided to dress as a Chinese Peasant. I got a Rice Paddy hat from our local chinatown and a pretty drab and easy top and pants (I super wish I could find these photos for you guys)  

The effect worked, a lot of people noticed my costume and laughed at my little joke.

Still, I would look at my friends in their beautiful dresses and flower crowns and envy that they could easily slip into this land of make believe and I still felt a little bit like an outsider. 

I don’t believe that anyone particularly made me feel this way, it was just something that made me aware of my race when usually it’s something I don’t necessarily think about. 

So, I went and decided to just wear the ‘wrong’ feeling costumes anyways, it was all pretend and I could do anything I wanted. 

But this year, I decided to do something different. I did some research and found out that during the Elizabethan period, the Ming dynasty would have been in power. I did some research online and found myself a Ming Dynasty costume. 

It was everything I had ever wanted. I felt pretty, but also I felt like I belonged. I felt like I was able to share my culture and what was beautiful about that time period with people who didn’t know. A lot of people stopped me to ask about my costume! I wish I had known a little bit more about accurate construction or really, anything about the Ming Dynasty, but I still felt right in it. 

There are lots of cultures that existed during the Elizabethan era and I encourage any People of Color to share that when they go to a Renaissance festival next time! I would love to see more costumes, maybe Armenian or Turkish or Mongolian! 

Next year I want to take this as a starting point and try to incorporate more elements of fantasy. There are lots of Chinese dramas that take period costumes and throw some fun fantasy elements into it. Here are some cool examples:

SKAM S04E09 Clip 5 - Maghrib

SANA: Please accept my fast, even though I’ve behaved badly. Please watch over Eva and Vilde and Noora, Chris. Please watch over Isak and Even and Elias and Yousef.

[VILDE: Hi, are you ready to meet up?

EVA: Sana! Chris and I will pick you up with the van in 20 minutes.

SANA: Ok cool

SANA: I regret cancelling the date with Yousef

NOORA: YEEES! Call him! Go!

EVA: Do it girl!! Life is NOW!!

SANA: According to Islam, life is after death. Which is one of the reasons why I should stay away from him

CHRIS: According to me, the abdomen is dead after death. Which is one of the reasons why you should meet him!!

VILDE: Yousef! Yousef! Yousef!

SANA: Hahaha I get why mom is worried that I don’t have any Muslim friends

NOORA: Hello! OK!! I can argue from an Islamic perspective

SANA: Now I’m intrigued

NOORA: Ok, doesn’t Islam believe in destiny?

Keep reading

jacksonwang852g7: My Dearest Mom happy birthday! 🎁🎊🎈🎉
Thank you for being by my side during my birthday, always insist of going to the supermarket even though you don’t feel well, just to cook me dinner. Always organizing and cleaning up my room. Always there waiting for me until I sleep. Basically thinking about me every moment. Always worrying about my health condition, about the amount of time I could sleep.
But to be honest, it really hurts me deep down my heart. You’ve already been through a lot back then while raising me up. And as your son I don’t want you to suffer anymore and I really want you to do what you loved to do and what you wanted to do.
I should be the one who is taking care of you and dad now.
Maybe in your perspective, sometimes you would say it’s a waste of money, waste of time and it’s not important.
But I just want you to know, as your son, The fact that I can do something for you, it’s happier than anything else, and more important than anything else.
Maybe I can’t be with you because of work all the time, not being able to do what a son is supposed to do. Truly sorry but I always think about you, and I wish you can be happy every day.
The world, no the greatest mom in the universe.
Happy birthday 🎂

the-phantom-of-the-fandoms  asked:

so would you recommend not coming out to parents the way you did? cause that's maybe what i was planning on doing but if that's a bad way then i won't! also, thank you so much for making that pride video i think a lot of us needed it!!

Hahah well I know I would not do it the way I did if your parents deserve a little more of a sit-down approach, taking their feelings into account. A lot of parents maybe have lost that right to that discussion, but for my parents, they didn’t deserve me being so cavalier about it. I totally wish I had done it differently. But again, that’s just from my experience! I don’t know your situation, so I don’t wanna throw advice to someone who’s situation may be a lot different!


It’s not the first time Merlin’s prepared a poultice for Arthur. The Prince doesn’t normally bother getting treated for a few measly cuts and bruises, but… when he knows Gaius is away… ;)

Ahhh, I can finally check one prize off my art giveaway from so many months ago… This is for the dear @thatibuiltspecial, who won an animated piece! I included a larger static version for a better look at details… I wish Tumblr’s gif size limit would increase some more, bah. Well the wonderful request was: a picture of Merlin and Arthur. I would like Merlin to be busy with something, maybe working, crushing herbs maybe or reading and Arthur behind him with his arms around him and his chin on his shoulder looking to see what he is doing. It would be lovely if it could be all soft and gentle.”  I hope you enjoy how I decided to bring this scene to life! With my rudimentary animation skills, lol… I had fun! 

(My Art Tag / My Animated Art) *Please don’t repost(?) or use elsewhere without my permission, and don’t delete my captions, thanks.


I went to Florida’s Megacon today!!

These were some of my favorite costumes Ft. a McCree who looked terrified of me when we made eye contact.


It’s one AM and these kinda just popped into my head LETS GO

• Connor fails his suicide attempt, Zoe finds him in his room about a minute after Connor swallowed a fuck ton of pills

•Evan hears about this cause Connor is always a main source of gossip at the school

• especially for Jared

• Evan thinks about when he failed his suicide attempt and knew, at least partly, how Connor felt

• Evan, knowing he wouldn’t be able to just walk up to Connor and start talking, starts writing letters

• Dear Connor Murphy, I heard what happened and I want you to know, I failed as well over the summer

• Evan always signing them as Sincerely Me

• Connor getting the first letter five days after he leaves the hospital, two days after he goes back to school

• Connor reading it, and thinking

• maybe I’m not completely alone

• Evan writes Connor a letter every Tuesday and Thursday

• Whenever Connor ditches school he makes sure it isn’t a Tuesday or Thursday

• Evan mentions things that go on in his life, how he wishes he could stand up for himself, how he wishes he could help his mother, how he wishes he could talk to the girl he likes

• Connor starts to develop feelings for the mystery writer but ignores it cause

• A. Who would like him

• and

• B. I don’t even know who writes the letters, how the fuck can I be in love

• Evan slowly starts to make sure Connor is doing okay when ever Connor actually shows up to his math class

• Evan slowly starts to realize that he doesn’t like Zoe as much, but why?

• Evan shoots up in bed one night thinking

• Fuck. I like the school stoner

• Evan then slaps himself cause that’s not all that Connor is

• his mom hears him talking to himself and asks if everything is alright

• Evan quickly shouts back a yes, and gets back in bed, still thinking of Connor Murphy

• the last day of school before Christmas Break, Evan leaves a small gift at Connors locker and a note even though it’s Friday

• he’s surprised to see that Connor also left a gift at his locker for the mystery writer

• Evan puts it under the tree

• Heidi asks where it came from and Evan starts blushing and stuttering and mumbling about how he writes letters to Connor Murphy

• Heidi sees the light in her sons eye that hasn’t been there in years

• She bakes cookies for Evan to give to Connor

• Evan brings the cookies to the Murphy’s house, rings the door bell and runs

• Cynthia opens the door to see a plate of cookies and card saying ‘Dear Connor Murphy, have an excellent Christmas, sincerely me’

• Cynthia is super excited cause she believes that Connor has an actual FRIEND

• Cynthia takes the cookies up to her sons room

• Connor opens the door, glaring at his mother, and then he sees the cookies and the note card

• he picks it up and reads it quickly before blushing and grabs the plate, shutting his door

• on Christmas Evan opens Connors present last and is very happy to see that it’s a tree encyclopedia with a note that said ‘you always talk about how you love trees so, here’ and on the other side is a beautifully drawn tree


• Connor opens his gift in his room, and is surprised to see two new black sweatshirts and a bottle of black nail polish, the saying ‘Dear Connor Murphy, your sweatshirts seem to have a lot of holes, I didn’t know if it was for comfort or what but I got you a new one. Oh and I really like your nails so here’s some more polish, sincerely me’ Connor actually smiles, and he feels all warm inside AND WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK

• Jared eventually finds out that Evan writes Connor letters cause he saw the tree on the wall while Evan was getting snacks and flipped it over and read the note

• he immediately asked Evan who it was from

• Evan blushes and mumbles Connor

• Jared demands a wider explanation

• he doesn’t stop teasing Evan about it

• At school Jared starts acting funny around Connor and Connor starts to freak out cause


• but he calms down for a second when Jared accidentally spills the beans

• Connor was reading another one of Evans’s notes, Jared walks up to him with a shit eating grin and says

• 'Another love note from Evan Tree Boy Hansen I see.’

• Connor is instantly relieved they’re not from Jared


• Connor corners Evan after school

• Evan is nervous cause he thinks Connor hates him.

• he is pleasantly surprised when Connor gives him a quick thank you before dashing off

• Connor then starts to write Evan letters on Wednesdays and Fridays. Monday’s are the chill day

• Connor finally accepts that he totally loves Evan but he still thinks that Evan could never like him that way, especially since the guy Evan mentions in his letter can’t be him

• beautiful brown hair? Nope

• gorgeous blue eyes that seem to have a hint of brown in the left one? Well yes but they aren’t gorgeous, his are hideous

• a face that was crafted by God himself? Absolutely not

• Evan starts to wonder if Connor wants to be friends with him and asks him exactly that in a letter

• Connor replies with a 'no shit’ and his phone number

• Evan was ecstatic when they hung out for the first time

• so was Connor

• and their moms

• at the end of senior year, Evan tells Connor that he has to take a gap year to save up money

• Connor decides he’s not going to college without Evan as he doesn’t know how to make friends and he was just fucking lucky with Evan

• They were hanging out at Evans house the next winter and they both had a few drinks cause what 18 year old doesn’t drink. Evan isn’t THAT innocent guys

• they both tell each other that they like one another and share a small kiss that they both have wanted for a while

• they fall asleep on the couch, holding each other

Imma stop there. Feel free to add on, that was insanely long and I might write an actual thing for this?

Sometimes I’ll be sitting in my room, perfectly fine, and then I just get slammed by this wave of loneliness and I hate it

A Softer Love
  • “There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.”
  • “I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.”
  • “Our love was doomed, a burning building, a broken neck. But nothing since you and me even feels like love.”
  • “I want everyone to love me and I’m pretty sure the trick is to just be myself, but with money.”
  • “I can only infer that love exists from its effects on others.”
  • “I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now.”
  • “You are the love of my life so far.”
  • “Will you still love me when I am a spooky ghost?”
  • “I’m in love with the you I wish you were. I only stay with you because you look like him.”
  • “Sometimes even love isn’t enough. So what chance do WE have?”
  • “I wish being in love was enough. I wish it counted for anything at all.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away.”
  • “Yeah, maybe we all die alone. I masturbate alone, too. Sometimes.”
  • “Sometimes when two people love each other it’s really unfortunate.”
  • “I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another.”
  • “If love lasted forever, we’d only ever get one.”
  • “Just once I’d like to fall in love with someone? who will ruin things before I do.”
  • “Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough.”
  • “I am terrified I will never find another love like ours.”
  • “I want to carve our initials in the bark of everyone who ever hurt you.”
  • “I love the way your face lights up when someone says, "It might be dangerous.”“
  • "All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.”
  • “Our love is like an animatronic pigeon. No! It’s like a sex party on the moon! Also I am a bit drunk.”
  • “I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love.”
  • “When you get that look, nobody is safe. It’s why I first fell in love with you.”
  • “You are a good person and I love you. This just isn’t the life I hoped I’d have.”
  • “Marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, it’s between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.”
  • “Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.”
  • “Sometimes I think you might fall in love with someone else and all my problems will be solved.”
  • “I keep all my old love letters, but to be honest I just skim them for the dirty bits.”
  • “It would be easier to deal with falling out of love if it hadn’t somehow made the sex exciting again.”
  • “Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.”
  • “If our love lasts forever it’s gonna get real awkward when one of us dies.”
  • “There are just two things that make life worth living. The people you love, and sweet pranks.”
  • “I love those quiet moments in the dark where you can stop pretending.”
  • “I don’t know what the fuck true love even is but I do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life.”
  • “I said I’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. I guess that’s my problem. A failure of imagination.”
  • “I know I can’t make you love me. But I wish I could make you shut up about not loving me.”
  • “Our love is a meteor impact, a super volcano erupting. We won’t survive but we won’t die bored.”
  • “At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now I didn’t even know you were sad.”
  • “You don’t love me, but you used to. I wanted to say thank you for that.”
  • “You and I will never be a great love story. That’s ok! Let’s see what kind of story we’ll be.”
  • “When I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kind of horny.”
  • “I lost the woman I loved and now all I have are my father’s well-meaning words, "Maybe now you can meet a nice man.”“
  • "I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.”
  • “She’s like an angel. My family loves her but I just don’t believe anymore."