or maybe who i wish i was

anonymous asked:

I 100% agree with your thoughts about Gillian as Media. I hate to say it but I wish they just used CGI to make it look like the actual Lucy was talking. But who knows, maybe they couldn't get the rights to I Love Lucy? But they could have gone with the news anchor lady which would have been hilarious to see Gillian as some kind of FOX News host.

Yeah, I would guess that getting the rights to old TV shows that they could then modify with CGI would (a) be an extremely expensive legal nightmare that (b) would only lead to an even more expensive technical nightmare. Unless this is a movie with a Forrest Gump (adjusted for inflation) budget, that was never going to happen, I would bet. 

But, I forgot about the news anchor (and Media appears more than once as a news anchor, doesn’t she?) – that would have been AWESOME. I would love to see GA take that on. (Who knows, maybe something like that is in store for us also.) And they could have done a lot of those that didn’t have to be recognizable people. Like – GA as a lady jumping around inanely in a Target (or Target-like store) commercial. GA on a stereotypical Philly Justice-esque procedural show (maybe that would be too close to XF/The Fall). GA as a sitcom mom. GA as a perky home design show host. GA being a super hyped-up celebrity-fashion correspondent (she’d probably love doing that). GA on some kind of trashy reality show like the Kardashians. It would have been fun and, I feel, not super difficult to create spoofs of TV genres/tropes that would be immediately recognizable to viewers and feel very real and familiar without being literal recreations of existing stuff. 

Media is supposed to be the god of *television*. Because of television being one of the things that modern people worship rather than the old gods. Not, the god of celebrities that Bryan Fuller likes. I guess “celebrity” sort of falls into that category, but like, I think the idea is supposed to be that television/media is a seductive presence that shows you shiny things that steal your attention and make you passive consumers of the vapid, glitzy, ultimately advertising-driven stuff they tempt you with (NOT THAT I, SOMEONE WHO SPENDS HOURS ON A WEBSITE TALKING ABOUT A TV SHOW FROM THE ‘90S AND THE PEOPLE ON IT, WOULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT). David Bowie, at least, is certainly to my mind not a particularly great representation of that. Also, when we think of modern media that destroys people’s brains/souls through shallowness and crass commercialism, is Easter Parade starring Judy Garland really one of the biggest offenders that comes to mind? I would have loved that concept to be UPDATED from the novel that was published 15-some years ago, not further retro-ized. (Unless the whole thing is taking place in some kind of timeless retro universe, which is not unlikely.)

But, again, we are left with the fact that, when you get down to it, Gillian does not really look that much like any of the celebrities she is portraying, because, you know, human beings look different from each other and stuff, even the beautiful ones; and so, to me, just because Media manifested as Lucy in the book, the leap from there to “GA impersonates a bunch of celebrities” is not necessarily the direction to go that makes the most sense for the concept. 

ANYWAY. It’s not my show, Bryan Fuller is a genius, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing, overall I love his weirdo, over-the-top artsy style, and all I have seen are teases and publicity shots and I have no idea how it’s being structured or executed. I will reserve judgment! And, again, I stress, I love Gillian and seeing her play dressup this way will be super cool. I just fear the celebrity-impersonation angle may end up detracting more than it adds, which isn’t something I want for Gillian OR for the show (which I am super excited about regardless of Gillian’s involvement). But we will see!

anonymous asked:

I'm a shy Ravenclaw and I have great friends who love me but I feel so alone sometimes. I envy what you have with Sirius. I wish I could find someone like that but no one seems interested. All people care about these days is looks. Do you know any one that could bring me as much joy as Sirius brings to you? Or maybe just some of your wisdom can cheer me up. Thanks Remus dear.

Remus: oh I’m sorry beautiful. But you’ll find someone eventually. I can tell, just by the way you write that you know what real love is. One day you will find someone that loves you just as much as Sirius loves me. And by that time, internet friends are the best friends you could ask for. They can cheer you up all the time! Find your little pearl and cherish it

I wasn’t sure what I wanted, if I was being honest. All I really knew for sure is that I wanted someone, whether it be a boyfriend or a friend. Someone who I fit in with, and could talk to. And maybe that someone could introduce me to other someones. Yeah, that was what I wanted. To belong to something that others came to find so easily. I wanted someone to look forward to seeing me, to think of me when they saw something they thought I’d like. That was my biggest wish of all - to not be alone anymore. And maybe this new year will be that good to me, I sure hope so anyways.

8:52pm (Artemis)

Do you ever wonder about souls? Surely we too have them. How corrupt they must be, twisted and torn, riddled in pride and dishonesty. Unsent: We do have them. I feel mine, and how it’s twisted and bent into something unrecognizable

9:00pm (Apollo)

You think too much.

2:37 am (Artemis)

I passed someone today; his eyes looked like the moon in shades of blue. Unsent: It made me think of mistakes, and how mistakes become scars. I’d like one, maybe two cut, across my chest. It might help me separate what is real and what is not

2:43 am (Apollo)

I saw a girl who looked like Cassandra. I wished her dead and that she would remember me all in one breath.

2:45 am (Artemis)

I know. Me too.

4:05 am (Artemis)

Do you still fight the future?

2 seconds later (Apollo)

Every day. Every night. With every breath I have. Unsent: Because it terrifies me. The darkness. The death. We will be all that’s left, and we won’t be able to start over again.

4:06 am (Artemis)

I fight the past. Every expectation I failed to meet. Every decision I ever made in vain. All the vows I gave too easily. Youth. Youth makes gods foolish.

4:07 am (Apollo)

Unsent: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the part I played

10:59 pm (Artemis)

I wished it would end. I wanted the world to burn and to watch it out of spite. Unsent: Then I wanted to save it, quench the fire with the ocean. I wanted to prove I still could.

11:00 pm (Apollo)

I saw it.

11:01 pm (Apollo)

I had a vision today of a world that didn’t burn in fire. I had a vision of a world where we were happy.

5 seconds later (Artemis)

Do we even deserve it?

2 seconds after that (Apollo)

No. But it was nice. It was nice to have hope.

Excerpt from In the Light of the Stars - L.H.Z

Honestly, that’s the thing that really bothers me– that “coping” seems to inherently imply posting things. Yeah, I have unhealthy fantasies that I use to cope, but I don’t post them because they could hurt people. 

And yet when I, a person who has copeships and who has unhealthy coping mechanisms for abuse, say “maybe don’t post your rape fanfiction in a place where rape apologists will see it as porn material and get off to it, normalizing rape”, I get ten people in my inbox asking me to let abuse survivors cope.

Abuse survivors can copeship. Abuse survivors can do whatever cope stuff they want– in private. 

And I really wish people could understand that distinction.

I wish to meet the person who said that happiness can be found within. Whenever I seek to find this ‘happiness within’ myself, I always end up getting trapped in a labyrinth of chaotic emotions. There is everything in that mess except happiness. Or maybe there are shreds of it hidden somewhere in the creaks, but my hands can never reach them. All I get hold of is, overriding confusion and guilt. There is no definite source of these feelings. Though, I have been told numerous times that my penchant to overthink everything is the root of my insanity. Well, it’s always easy to diagnose others but it is as difficult to comprehend the real reasons behind them. I have no idea how not to think. I don’t enjoy this, it’s exhausting at times. But somewhere inside me, I know that I owe this much to everyone who is suffering out there, all alone. I am also aware of the fact that just thinking about it will not appease anyone’s suffering or solve anyone’s problem. But each of us deserves to be thought about, at the very least.
I hope that someday, I can really work towards everything I think of and find my happiness. Till then, my thoughts are the most plausible proof of my sanity.
This boy, with the brown eyes and cheeky grin, can make anyone’s day better. This boys heart is so big and he is so warm, anyone would be lucky to just know what it is like to hold him. I watch him, day after day and wonder if he sees me too. If maybe I could be apart of the countless number of people who love him. He smiles and everyone can’t help but smile back. His laugh is a melody that I wish could be stuck in my head everyday. He is that person that everybody spends their entire life looking for and now that I have found him I can only pray that he watches me too.
—  4am

Sometimes I’ll be sitting in my room, perfectly fine, and then I just get slammed by this wave of loneliness and I hate it

‘A Brand New Dawn’ The Complete Art - by whitebear-ofthe-watertribe

In celebration of me FINALLY finishing ‘A Brand New Dawn,’ I figured I’d post all the art I did for it in one master post for anyone who didn’t get to see it before :) This has been such an incredible journey; the process of writing the equivalent of a book, as well as learning how to do various digital art mediums, all in the last year, has really helped me to grow a lot. Part of me still wishes to do a sequel, but being in my last year of college leaves little time for frivolous things like sleeping and eating, let alone the many hours needed to do any writing justice. But maybe someday!

To my Readers, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support. A huge thank you SO MUCH to everyone who sent in fanart for it! I still cry over them because WOW!! And to every single person who either commented on the fic itself or sent me personal messages, you are positively amazing! This process would’ve never seen completion without all your encouragement, so thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin and major hiatuses between cliffhanger chapters, until the very end (especially since that “end” took yet another hiatus of half a bloody year, haha). You are all incredible and very dear to my heart!

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, I want to speak especially to all of my fellow aromantics out there.

You are not broken for not wanting any part of romance. However you are, however you choose to exist, is 100% okay.

Maybe this time of year is hard for you, if you see friends and family members having valentines. Maybe you can just say “fuck it” and let it roll right off you. And that’s fine.

It’s okay if Valentine’s Day makes you sad and makes you wish you could fall in love. You’re not alone and, more importantly, you are awesome just the way you are, and I’ll be right here, loving you platonically.

It’s super rad if Valentine’s Day is just another day for you. As someone who feels slightly depressed during this time of year, I look up to you. Your confidence and ability to not give a fuck is awesome. I’m so proud of you.

Fellow aromantics, we can do this. We are awesome. #novalentinesplease

New Years Kiss!
Listen I’m still figuring out how to paint without things looking stiff but here! This was a bunch of fun! 

On a scale from 1 to 10, I wish someone would say I’m an 11.
And those numbers feel like more than just numbers.
Please tell me, who are you to give me more insecurities?
And please tell me, who are you to talk about all the different possibilities?
I’m stuck wondering how to over work myself to not be myself.
While thinking of ways to make myself something better, anything else.
I wish you knew we women are more than just our appearances and features.
I wish you knew that we can be fighters or lovers or maybe even teachers.
Bless my father, for he always told me I was priceless.
That somehow I’m worth than 1,000 diamonds and nothing less.
But when you rate me, those numbers feel like more than just numbers.
And every word you say, strips me deep into gray, away from my bright colors.
As you also strip away all the confidence that I built inside lovers.
—  Written by lexorina  © 

What if I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved? Maybe that’s why we should go our separate ways and that this is a good thing, maybe that’s the silver lining.

You deserve someone who can give you more than you could ever know, more than this world could ever offer. You carry a very beautiful soul that should be cherished with every inch of love that exists, even if you don’t believe that.

And maybe I can’t do any of that.

Maybe it’s just not me.

—  c.f. // “I guess this time it was me”
On (not) drinking alcohol...
  • Something I wish would happen:
  • Me: I don't drink alcohol.
  • Person: Oh, ok. What would you like to drink instead?
  • What happens instead:
  • Me: I don't drink alcohol.
  • Person: Really? Why? Are you sure, like really sure? Did you even try drinking? Maybe you should try this. I'll promise you'll like it. Come on, give a try! How can you say you don't like alcohol if you don't try drinking? I don't know, it's weird to meet someone who just don't like drinking...

…..I must admit my favourite things to draw or paint to relax are things like this. (maybe thats why i do so much) 

that day everything i had draw wasnt to my liking and i pretty much painted this as a way to test my shimmering paint (who sadly doesn’t show here because scanners….) and “reset” my brain.;u;

….next art will be more dynamic!

(still might add this one to the shop maybe…i just wish the shimmer would show…)