or maybe even younger we were never told

“Can you pass the turkey please?”

My sister and I never had a real relationship. I had tried when I was younger but sadly it never worked out. Its not like we fought a lot or anything, we were just too different to even click as people. I always made the assumption that she thought I was stupid since we had a 12 year difference. She was 30 and I was 17 by the last time I saw her. I always thought that maybe when I was older and of an age that she didn’t consider me an absolute moron, maybe we could get along.

“Can you pass the turkey?” was the last thing I told her on Christmas Eve dinner. It was probably the only thing I ever said to her in the entire year. 

She fell asleep while driving (or so we were told) 4 days later and half of her car ended up beneath a bus, killing her and her friend instantly. 

We shared smiles every now and then when she was going down the stairs and I had just opened my bedroom door. I never knew how she actually felt about me. Her death sparked a series of events that made me escape my home. She was in my family’s eyes the perfect daughter, I lived under her shadow for many years and once she was out of the picture, I was left with the bitter reminder that I could and would not ever be what she once was. My family realized I would never be what she was. 

We haven’t celebrated Christmas in 3 years.