or maybe a couple years

What is autism?

Autism is a natural variation of human neurology which is categorized as a developmental disability. About 1% of the worlds population is autistic. Autism is a lifelong condition meaning that autistic people are born autistic and that they will die autistic. You cannot “catch autism” or “become autistic” like you can risk becoming mentally or physically ill - neither vaccines or heavy metals or gluten will make you autistic if you aren’t born with it. You also can’t cure autism or recover from it - but all autistic people can live fulfilling, happy lives with the right accommodations so an autism diagnosis isn’t the death sentence that many people make it out to be. Autism isn’t a diagnosis which can be clearly separated from who you are and how you see the world - it affects every aspect about of how you think about, experience and interact with the world around you. There are many different aspects of being autistic which makes it hard to summarize the condition, but I’ll do my best to introduce you to some of the common autistic traits and experiences in this post.

  • Sensory processing. Autistic people’s sensory processing is different from most people’s sensory processing. This means that autistic people may be over- or undersensitive to different sensory input. This means that we may have trouble with sounds, touches, smells, tastes, etc that most people can easily tolerate or block out or that we may seek out loud music, blinking lights, bright colors, spicy food, strong smells and activities which provide physical activity and deep pressure. Many autistic people lack the filter that most people have which makes them able to block out background sounds, meaning that the ticking of a clock, the buzzing from a lamp or two people having a conversation nearby might make us unable to focus on what we’re supposed to be focusing on. This means that many autistic people will have trouble focusing in situations with lots of sensory input, for example situations where many people are gathered together, and that we are more easily overwhelmed and stressed out by different sensory input than allistic (non-autistc) people. 
  • Stimming. Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior, meaning a behavior which is meant to stimulate one of your senses. Some common stims are rocking back and forth, bouncing your legs or feet, hand flapping, hand wringing and repeating words and sentences, but a stim can be any kind of repeated movement or action which stimulates one of your senses. Stimming can thus be many different things - you can stim by smelling, touching, watching, moving, tasting and listening. The reason why autistic people stim is tied up in the fact that autistic people’s sensory processing tend to be atypical - when there’s a lot of overwhelming, stressing sensory input, providing your own repeated sensory input by listening to a song on repeat or rocking back or forth or smelling something you like the smell of may help you focus and calm down. Autistic people also stim to express emotions - it’s a natural part of our body language just like smiling or frowning is a natural part of most people’s body language. We may jump up and down and flap our hands when excited where most people would simply smile, or we may rock back and forth and press our hands against our faces where other people would cry. That being said, an autistic person doesn’t need a certain, deep reason for stimming - we often do it simply because it’s fun and because it feels good. 
  • Shutdowns and meltdowns. Shutdowns and meltdowns are both responses to extreme distress - they’re often caused by unpleasant, overwhelming sensory input that the autistic person in question is unable to escape, but they can also be caused by strong negative emotions. A meltdown is an outward reaction to said distress where a shutdown is an inwards reaction. An autistic person having a meltdown is a person who has reached a point where they are no longer in control of their own body - they’re experiencing an flight or fight response, so to say. An autistic person may scream, lash out, cry, smash things and run away during a meltdown. Shutdowns are another possible response to a similar situation - during those, the autistic person may become unresponsive, locked in place, unable to talk, etc. You should never get mad at autistic people or hold them responsible for having meltdowns and shutdowns - they’ve reached a place where they’re so distressed that they’re losing control of themselves and instead of distressing them further, you should help them escape or resolve what’s causing the distress - after you have given them plenty of time to calm down and recover, that is.
  • Trouble with non-verbal communication such as body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. Autism is a disability which affects communication and the ability to socialize, meaning that autistic people may have trouble reading, using and comprehending body language, facial expressions and tone of voice just like they may have trouble learning, conforming to and applying social rules. We may not be able to take a hint that someone’s not interested in talking to us just like we may not notice when someone’s interested in us romantically or sexually. We have trouble noticing when other people are bored or tired or sad or angry and we might thus often come across as uncaring or annoying in social situations. Our trouble with reading other people and seeing the nuance in their body language, facial expressions and tone of voice also means that many autistic people have trouble grasping sarcasm, irony and metaphors. 
  • Trouble with words and speech. Most autistic people have some degree of trouble with expressing their thoughts and opinions through spoken words.This is because most of us don’t naturally think in words - we may experience, think about and process the world around us in pictures or sensory experiences and we may thus have trouble transforming those input and experiences into words. We may also have trouble with the process of speaking, not because there’s something physically wrong with us but because we can have trouble with making our throats and mouths pronounce the words or because we may have trouble with going from thinking a word to succeeding with the process of actually saying it out loud. It’s common for autistic people to have periods where they aren’t able to speak - we call it going nonverbal - and some autistic people can’t speak at all. That doesn’t mean that they can’t think or communicate, though - they may instead communicate via written words, text to speech apps, facilitated typing, sign language, picture boards, etc.
  • Executive dysfunction. Executive functioning is what allows us to go from thinking about or wanting to do something to actually doing it, it’s what makes us able to keep the different steps required to complete a task straight in our heads and it’s what makes us able to plan and focus on different tasks. Autistic people often have trouble with executive functioning which makes many everyday tasks that most people can just do without thinking twice about it really hard. Imagine that you want to do laundry but your brain doesn’t automatically come up with the steps required to complete the task - take the laundry basket to the washing machine, open the washing machine, put clothes into the washing machine, add soap, etc - instead you’re just standing there, knowing that you somehow have to go from dirty laundry to clean clothes without knowing how to go about it. This is a problem for many autistic people which makes many everyday tasks hard or impossible to do without help. We may need someone to prompt us to do what we need to do or we may need someone to talk us through the steps or we may need visual or written instructions which illustrate the steps required to complete a certain task. Executive dysfunction is the main reason why many autistic people have trouble with basic, everyday tasks that most people their age can easily do without help.
  • Special interests. Many autistic people have a topic or a thing that they’re deeply, passionately interested in. Some autistic people compare having a special interest to being in love - it’s what your mind drifts to when there’s nothing else to occupy it, it’s the only thing you want to talk about, it’s the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning and it’s the last thing you think of before you fall asleep. This intense level of interest and passion often allows autistic people to excel in their areas of interest even when they may have trouble with basic everyday tasks. Some autistic people have special interests that lasts a life time, other people experience that their special interests change every couple years or maybe every couple months - or in some cases, every couple weeks. Some autistic people have one special interest at a time, other autistic people have many special interests. 
  • Routines. Since the world is often very chaotic and confusing for autistic people due to our atypical sensory processing and our struggles with executive dysfunction and social interaction, many autistic people rely on routines to create a sense of order in a confusing and chaotic world. We usually like to do the same things in the exact same way every day and if something breaks our routine or if something unexpected happens - or if somebody suggests an impulsive trip to the beach on a day where we hadn’t expected to do anything but the usual - it may result in shutdowns or meltdowns. If you want an autistic person to break or change their routine it’s recommended that you warn them in good time and that you give them plenty of time to prepare and adjust.
  • Unique points of view and different ways of thinking. Due to the fact that autistic people experience the world so differently from how most people experience it, we see the world from a different angle - often allowing us to come up with ideas or thoughts or input or solutions that you wouldn’t get anywhere else. Autistic people often have unique points of view and unusual ways or thinking and learning and this is often a strength - as we say in the autistic community, we are different, not less. 

I’ve now summarized some of the more common autistic traits and I hope that this post gave you a better understanding of what autism is and what it means to be autistic. Feel free to reblog and share this post far and wide if you found it helpful or educational.

The best thing about death note is probably the fact that it took like the three smartest people on earth, an entire police task force, the mafia, the FBI and a team literally designed to take down kira (and maybe even a couple of shinigamis dependant how you look at it) years to take down a kid with a notebook, a slightly unstable lawyer, a news reporter and a girl that’s just in it for the hell of it and yet Naomi practically figured it out before the second book had even finished

There are older men in everything. Men don’t grow up with the idea that they’re somehow obsolete with age. Old men are brilliant, charismatic, fun, flirty mentors in everything the media puts out. They’re prestigious and powerful. Even if they’re abusers, they’re just misunderstood and broken hearted and it’s all very poetic.

Women are told that they peak at 18 and any nubile looks they maintain are a saving grace. Women are told that they’re worth precisely how much they can ensnare or seduce or benefit a man. Women’s lives, according to our society, begin at 18 and end at 29. If we manage to maintain the whole “young & fun” air we can get away with maybe a couple more years of being considered of worth.

Women don’t lose their vitality according to societally defined ideas about our age. Men aren’t the only ones who stay vital and passionate into their sixties. Young girls growing up have tragically few role models to look up to. They’re told there is nothing for them beyond being hot shit in their twenties.

You’ll miss me, maybe not now, maybe not in a couple of years. But one day you’ll be contemplating the stars and you’ll think about me and I won’t be nowhere to be found.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #7 // a.s
  • what she says: im fine
  • what she means: my otp is from a children's show and never became officially canon

anonymous asked:

I like how this blog is becoming "buck-grampa, tell us a story", "aight, lil shorts, there was this cow..." Cuz you're old.

wait what???? im old???? i hadnt noticed, i thought that 100 year birthday party was for a different jackass with a metal arm. 

look, the only reason most of my stories are about the good ole days is because most of the morons i hang out with now have blackmail on me. and i have blackmail on them. we’re all doing the nuclear deterrent thing, it seemed appropriate with the russian-american vibe we’ve got going.

so i cant dish dirt on them without getting dished back. 

and i like you guys just fine, but i would rather murder every one of you than let tony tell anyone the story of the three shrimp plates. 

death before dishonor and all that

20 Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Young Adult Fiction/Romance

Originally posted by kallieburgers

YA Fiction is an incredibly popular genre of literature, and most people have picked one up and devoured it in less than a day, but there is a trend in the genre where in certain instances, people forfeit quality for a cheesy dramatic plot. A lot of these stories are just regurgitated cliches with vaguely interesting characters and just enough drama, fluff, and mildly (or extremely) sexual content to keep the reader paying attention. (No shade to the authors, because obviously, any author who writes and publishes a book works hard, no matter the end product.) 

There are a lot of aspects of YA Fiction that repeatedly rear their ugly heads and annoy readers or flat out scream dangerous messages to the young people that indulge in them. I thought I’d put the spotlight on a few in the hopes that it will help clean up the genre’s reputation as new and more awakened authors contribute content to it. 

Below you will read about some common mistakes that YA Fiction/Romance writers make that either ruin the story, promote dangerous messages, or unrealistically portray teenagers.


Making A Good Story

These are some things you should avoid doing when writing YA fiction/romance in order to make a generally enjoyable and enticing story.

Forgetting The Supporting Characters

The supporting characters are an important part of any story, even if the main plot revolves around two people. Supporting characters provide subplots, information to the reader, and more opportunities for your audience to connect and relate to your story. It’s always good to give your supporting characters love and attention when creating and writing them. Sometimes they end up carrying the story.

A mistake that a lot of authors make is that they give the reader a couple defining characteristics, a name, a relationship to the main character, and then just make that character pop into the reader’s view whenever the main plot needs them to. No backstory. No life of their own. Just support to the plot, and that’s a huge waste of potential. You don’t want your readers to put down your book and either forget the supporting characters existed at all, or believe that they were extra pieces of a puzzle.

Using Slang Badly

Writers should not feel the need to include current slang in order to make their story more relatable or popular amongst their targeted demographic. Slang is constantly changing, evolving, and most importantly, dying. Not to say that you should only write in traditional terms or put “thy” and “thee” everywhere, but using standard English and avoiding the trendy but temporary slang words is key. 

If you must use slang, try to use the bare minimum and only in fitting circumstances. If your character is the type to say “OMG her dat boi memes are on fleek” then, by all means, go right ahead, but you probably cringed when you read that. That would have been totally normal 2 years ago, but every bit of that sentence has died over time, and no matter how much you think a slang word will stick, don’t risk it.

Sympathy and Envy Mongering

Two emotions that YA Fiction and Romance always try to invoke in their readers are sympathy and envy. The author either wants the reader to feel bad for one or many of the characters, or they want them to be jealous of the awesome (and usually unrealistic) lives the characters have. Don’t be one of these. It’s tired and boring and not original in the slightest.

Are sympathy and empathy both totally okay emotions?

Yes. 

Are they all you need to write a good story?

Nope. Not at all.

The reader needs and wants to feel more than jealous of and sad for the characters in the story. The best stories are the ones that trigger a complex whirlwind of emotion. Sympathy and envy are the easy way out, and you get out of those emotions what you put into them. 

Unrealistically Portraying Teenagers & Teenage Life

Teenagers look up to and compare themselves and their lives to the characters and lives of the characters in your story. Keeping in mind that your audience is young and impressionable is essential for authors of the genre.

Love At First Sight

Love-at-first-sight does not happen. Infatuation, maybe, but love is more complicated than that. Writing a plot based on “love at first sight” can leave a bad taste in your readers’ mouths from the start, and that is something you should avoid at all costs. On top of that, love-at-first-sight is a very easy-way-out move and if you’re dedicated to your characters and your story, there’s a good to fair chance that you can come up with a more satisfying build up.

Unrealistic Romantic Situations

If you’ve ever opened a YA Romance, chances are you’ve read a scene in which the protagonist and the love interest end up in a stunningly beautiful place and the love interest sweeps the protagonist off their feet prior to riding into the sunset. This, unfortunately, does not happen very often, especially in teenage relationships. The most romance you’re going to get (usually) is the love interest offering to pay for the protagonist’s bag of skittles with the leftover money from their paycheck they earned at McDonald’s.

Just because teenagers don’t really go to great lengths to rent an entire ice-skating rink in the middle of the night so they and their crush can skate to Ellie Goulding music doesn’t mean there can’t be cute and memorable moments. Great doesn’t always equal grand and that’s important to remember. A lot of the time, teenagers appreciate fantasizing about things that are actually possible.

Happy Endings

Not all stories have to end happily, and you’ve definitely been told this before, but nobody ever takes into account how stories about teenagers have so much potential when it comes to endings. Teenagers read books about teenagers and unfortunately, this means that a lot of them will take what you’re writing about and try to change their own lives to match. Be honest in your depiction about what actually happens when you leave high school. 

The majority of the time, high school sweethearts won’t stay together. Long distance won’t work, they’ll find someone else, the spark will die out, their personalities will undergo drastic changes, and their goals and plans for the future will turn out differently than they expected. “And they lived happily ever after” is criticized harshly for a reason, especially in YA and YA Romance. Most stories don’t end happily, but there is more than one story in a person’s life and giving a person their happy ending as they graduate high school is a great injustice, to your character and your readers.

Avoiding The Dark Parts Of Teenage Life

Teenagers, despite what a lot of the media claims, go through some really serious and stressful and damaging things. Teenagers suffer from mental illness and deal with the intense pressure of the education system and hold their heads high in the face of stigma over every little detail about them. They suffer from eating disorders and body dysmorphia and self-harm tendencies, and that doesn’t even bring into account the bullying and family issues and the stress of constantly learning and feeling things for the very first time with little to no guidance or assurance or resources to ask for help. It is hard being a teenager. Do not forget that, and don’t leave the actual teenagers reading your story feeling underrepresented and/or abnormal because they aren’t as stress-free as the characters they look up to.

Exaggerating How Teenagers Interact With Each Other

A lot of teenage interactions are short, awkward, and uneventful. Teenagers aren’t super eloquent and socially apt, but YA Fiction seems to believe they are. It’s quite rare that a teenager will just walk up to someone they like, say “wanna go to dinner on Saturday?” and all will be fine and dandy. It’s quite rare that a teenager will saunter up to someone who talked about them behind their back, say something super clever and damaging to their enemy’s ego, and saunter off like the king/queen of the world. Those interactions look great in our heads, but they usually contain a few stuttered words and “um”s and blushing. Confidence is usually a trait that people develop later in life, so try not to push it if you’re trying to be realistic.

Maturity of Teenagers

Teenagers are underdeveloped human beings with minimal experience in most areas of life. They do not have it all figured out. A lot of YA books revolve around characters that are extremely intelligent, disciplined and ambitious at a level of maturity a 25-year-old be on. This is not accurate. Making characters “awkward” or “childish” does not have anything to do with how mature they seem to readers. There is a distinct difference between an awkward girl with childlike innocence and a girl who makes mistakes, does not have her life figured out, and is not yet comfortable with casual social interaction. The latter things I mentioned are pretty universal when it comes to teenagers. 

Unfitting Aspirations

There are more than two paths in life. It seems that in YA you’re either going to graduate, get married, pop out a couple kids and live the rest of your life in the suburbs, or you’re going to leave home, go to college, travel for 20 years and settle in some random country in Europe writing poetry until the end of your days. There is no in between, which sucks. There are a lot of interesting things you can do in life, not to say that either of the two life paths I mentioned are uninteresting. You could take a gap year and travel the world, go to college, move back home for a couple years then maybe get a job that has you traveling and exploring new things for the rest of your life. You could meet the love of your life in college and have some kids but put them in online school so you could travel with them. You could live your whole life in an awesome cabin in the forest casting spells and adopting wild squirrels. There are so many ways life can be and restricting it to opposite extremes takes the imagination out of the future. 

Not All Teenagers Think Their Relationships Will Last Forever

This one is pretty self explanatory, so long story short, not every relationship a teenager enters into is with the end goal of staying together forever, or even more than a few months. Most teenage relationships are pretty short and not very meaningful, and portraying every single couple in your stories as “we’ve been going strong for 2 years and plan on getting married right after graduation” is inaccurate and will probably cause your readers some disappointment in the future.

Relationships Aren’t A Teenager’s Only Concern

Most teenagers are more concerned about the F they got on a History test than they are about who they’re going to stare at next period. Everyone has more than just their crush to worry about. Some teenagers have to worry about where they’re going to get their next meal or how they’re going to get a ride home from school or even how they can apologize to a friend they’ve hurt. It’s not all about relationships for teenagers, in fact, relationships are a pretty small part of teenage life. If all your character has to think about is the hottie they sit next to in Biology, perhaps you should work a little more on character development.

Unnatural Appearances

Most teenagers are not model-level attractive. All teenagers have break-outs and leave the house late with greasy hair or with their shirt on inside out. No teenager shows up at school every day looking absolutely flawless, as if they’re about to walk down the runway. Please keep that in mind, because portraying teenagers accurately, especially when it comes to physical aspects such as weight, acne, etc. is super important. In YA and YA Romance, you must keep in mind that the teenagers you are trying to appeal to should not feel like a piece of trash because they aren’t as perfect as your characters. Yes, YA Fiction is Fiction, but just because you know that it’s unrealistic doesn’t mean your readers do. Readers of YA Fiction compare themselves to the characters in your books whether you like it or not. It is not hard to realistically portray physical appearances of teenagers. 

Avoiding Dangerous Messages

A common problem found in YA Fiction is the lacing of dangerous messages found in the smaller details. You may miss them the first couple times you read a story, but if you go looking for them, you will find them, and perhaps you will find the source of a lot of mistakes you’ve made. YA has a bad habit of endorsing mindsets that lead to bad decisions. Some of them, however, can be avoided in your own writing.

The Need To Change The “Flawed” One

Nobody in this world is perfect. Expecting the person you supposedly love to be flawless all the time is not realistic. People make mistakes. People are not always happy and bubbly and confident about themselves. People do not always act the same one day as they did the day before. Human beings are flawed and should be portrayed as such, especially in the stage of their life which is the most confusing and scary. Teenagers are underdeveloped human beings, and for some reason, teenager girls in YA Romance expect teenage boys to be charming and loving and never ever make a mistake, which is ridiculous. Creating love interests that appear flawless and can make no mistakes is detrimental to your audience. It raises your readers’ expectations to an unattainable level which causes them disappointment and might cause their future partners unrepairable damage to their self-esteem because they’ll think that in order to find a partner, they cannot be flawed and cannot make mistakes. 

Glorification Of Illegal Activity

It’s not “cool” or “edgy” to pump yourself full of deadly and mind-altering substances you know absolutely nothing about. It doesn’t make you “badass” and it isn’t a personality trait unless that trait is stupid. Whatever your position is on drugs or alcohol or whatever, there is no excuse for putting the idea in the heads of young readers that doing things that are illegal and addictive and that might even get you killed is ok. Not only because most of your readers are younger than 21, but because it will always be dangerous to take drugs, commit crimes, and drink. Your choices are your choices. Don’t impose your habits and excuses on kids who don’t know any better.

Slut Shaming

News flash: it’s 2017, people. Nobody cares who you’re kissing or dating or having sex with. People are finally getting used to the idea that maybe, just maybe, it’s not the end of the world if you do whatever you want, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else. This recurring theme of “I hate this person because they do what they want with their body” is getting old and annoying. Believe what you will regarding religion and morals and what is right or wrong or whatever you want to believe in, but the second you start turning your story into a commentary on the decisions and beliefs of other people, you’re in the wrong. There are other, more creative reasons to make your characters hate each other than their sexual activity. 

Forgetting The First Times

One of the most exciting parts of being a teenager is that everything you’re experiencing, you’re experiencing for the first time. Everything is confusing and exciting and 10x more painful or memorable or enjoyable, and that’s neglected all the time in YA. I don’t mean the common trope of the first kiss or the losing of virginity. I mean love and infatuation and loss and heartbreak; it’s all happening to them for the first time in their lives, and these events make up their memories that they will carry with them forever. Teenage years are incredibly heavy times for people. It is, after all, the years in which they learn the most and the fastest and where the majority of their brain development takes place. These moments that you’re writing, the first kiss, the first time having sex, the first time your character loses someone they love, they’re all going to determine how your character will develop in the future. Treat them that way. Teach young readers that it’s normal and perfectly okay to be scared and inexperienced and lost. That’s the bitter-sweet part of youth and it’s beautiful.

Bad Boys And Boring Girls

Bad Boys are, in reality, bad news. The real “bad boys” in this world are slimy, manipulative jerks who trick girls (usually more than one at a time) into thinking they have feelings for them, using them for things like sex or money, and then either end up controlling their entire lives, introducing drugs and problems, or breaking their hearts. It’s sad, but it’s reality. Yes, there’s always a cause for this behavior, and sometimes these bad boys grow out of it, but that’s not always the case. Portraying these bad boys as “changeable” is not only dangerous for the female readers but also the men in their future. If you make girls think that they can change whomever they’re with to be the perfect prince charming, they will never be satisfied with someone who is flawed (spoiler alert: everyone is flawed) and they may destroy the self-esteem of whoever they’re with by making them think they need to change to be lovable.

Boring Girls are, sort of, connected to bad boys in this sense. They show up in every story, which makes sense financially because authors who make more relatable main characters sell more books. It’s just demographics. But at the same time, this stretch for a wider audience can end up influencing girls’ expectations of themselves and their love lives. If you make every protagonist completely boring, compliant, and devoid of strong, defining traits, girls will take that as advice. They will learn that all a girl has to do to make people fall in love with them is sit quietly and be pretty, which is horrible, in case you hadn’t noticed. Teach girls to look up to strong characters with rich personalities. Nowadays, that counts as an original idea.

Generalization

Portraying every aspect of teenage life and teenagers themselves as if you opened a book full of cliches, closed your eyes and pointed at something is not ok. High schools and families and personalities are different wherever you go, and making blind generalizations about aspects of teenage life can not only change how your reader interprets their own lives, but how adult readers assume teenage life is when they’re not around. It is important to not reinforce the assumption that there is always a popular clique and mean jocks and awkward nerds and dead-beat stoners because these stereotypes are a way for people to justify their snap-judgements, and not only does that say a lot about you as an author, but that will breed a whole new generation of judgmental, close-minded people.

Glorification Of Unhealthy Relationship Behaviors

I’m gonna say this once: It is not “hot” to have the love interest constantly putting restrictions on their supposed loved one. It’s not okay to borderline stalk someone and use “I love you” as an excuse, even if the person reciprocates your feelings. It is unhealthy to ignore someone when they say “no, no, not now” or “no, stop, not here” when you’re in the middle of initiating sex or even just kissing. It is disgusting when romance, especially YA Romance, which has mostly young, impressionable readers taking in your messages, promotes these behaviors like they’re something to strive for. Like it or not, your writing is going to alter the way they imagine a “perfect” relationship. If you aren’t willing to take that responsibility seriously, you should not be writing YA, and especially not YA Romance.


Request a prompt list/writing advice/playlist/study help post here

How long the signs can go without talking to someone
  • Aries: about a day because they're reasonable and will want to resolve whatever happened, will probably be angry but thats fine
  • Taurus: 3 minutes before they start yelling at you again
  • Gemini: a good 2 days if you made them rather mad but won't wanna stay in that weird awkward no talking phase
  • Cancer: a peacemaker so probably like a minute
  • Leo: a couple months, maybe even years if they can't be bothered anymore
  • Virgo: 7 hours, they don't wanna seem desperate but still wanna be social and have friends
  • Libra: 12 minutes because their life is their friends
  • Scorpio: either an hour or a year there is no inbetween
  • Sagittarius: will be passive aggressive, probably gives like 8 weeks of toleration before they initiate sussing it out properly
  • Capricorn: eternity.
  • Aquarius: hates hates being in the no talking zone and having 'beef' with people, so abouts half an hour
  • Pisces: 2 SECONDS FLAT
Too Soon - Jeff Atkins Imagine

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: Hi i was wondering if i could request 13 reasons why imagine where the reader and Jeff have been dating for a couple months or an year…maybe have smut like they made love and then where Jeff passes away and maybe have the reader visit the grave with clay and tony to tell Jeff..that he was a dad.

WARNINGS: Fluff, smut, small swearing


“Atkins!” I scream when I see my boyfriend in the hallway. I jump in his arms wrap my legs around his torso and kiss him as if I didn’t see him in months when in reality is was literally two periods ago. I’m cheesy like that. We’ve been dating for over a year now, but everyday feels like we started dating yesterday. He never seizes to amaze me. He surprises me with flowers and I still get anxious and excited like a little girl when we go out on dates. He still does things like climb through my window even though my parents basically forced a key on him. He even does things like come over at 2am when I joke about being scared. He’s just the best boyfriend in the world.

“Hey baby” he laughs as he kisses me back. “You ready to go”

“Yes, it’s Friday and I’ve never been happier” I slide my hand in his as we walk out the school building earning a ‘bye’ or ‘what up’ from people.

As we walked to my house, Jeff kept telling me corny jokes and pick-up lines he found online last night trying to make me laugh.

“Babe, knock knock?”

“Not another one J.”

“Baaabe knock knock, come on last one I promise.”

“You said that three jokes ago” I whine.

“Oh. Knock knock?”

“Who’s there?” I sigh.

“A broken pencil” he smiles.

“A broken pencil who” I sigh, already knowing the joke.

“Never mind it’s poin-”

“Pointless” I say as I laugh dramatically. He looks at me seriously for interrupting his corny joke. 

“Sorry baby, love you!” I try to kiss him the rest of the way home as he pretends to be mad at me.  

As we walk in, he stills pretend to be mad when he stomps into my room and close the door. He closes me out my room. My room.

“Babe really” I laugh.

“Do a knock knock joke then you can come in.”

“No”

“Yes”

“Noo babe”

“Well then I’m going to go take a nap”

“No!” I roll my eyes as if he can see it. “Fine babe…knock knock”

“Who’s there” he cooed.

“Al.” I smirk.

“Al who?” 

“Al strip for you if you open this door” I smirk biting my lip. As soon as I said that, the door swung open and I’m met with Jeff’s lips as he pulls me inside. He shuts the door and pushes me up against it. 

“No need to do that” he whispers in my ear. He starts kissing and sucking on my neck and pulls up the dress I’m wearing. He slides his hands under my underwear to my butt and pulls me to him.

“J-Jeff” I moan. He looks at me and bit his lip as he throws the dress off, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He scans my body as I turn my head, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He moves my head to face him and I see such admiration in his eyes.

“You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” When he said that I wanted nothing more than to feel him on me. I throw my arms around his neck and hungrily kiss him. He grabs my legs and I jump on him as he moves us to the bed. He hovers over me as he deepens the kiss. He puts his hand behind my neck to pull me closer to him. He rubs my thigh up and down as he slowly peppers kisses all over my neck and chest. He’s painfully teasing and I can’t take it.

“Jeff” I whisper.

“Yes y/n?”

“I need you” he looks at me and simply smiles.

He continues to kiss my neck as he unclasp my bra. He starts sucking my breast and massaging the other as I run my hands through his hair. He does the same to the other and I’m a moaning mess.

“Jeff please” I moan.

“We’re almost there baby” he whispers.

He kisses down my stomach and thigh slowly, never breaking his stare from me. I whine again as he comes back and goes back to sweetly kissing me. I groan from the friction of my almost bare core against his jeans and wiggle for him to get the idea. He does and pulls off his jeans and I hastily pull off his shirt.

“Someone is ready” he giggles. I roll my eyes and roughly palm his member through his boxers making him grunt.

“Someone is hard” I mimic smirking. He tries to keep his groans in until I full on grab him and he does a full moan. Now he’s the frantic one as he rips my underwear off of me. Literally.

“Jeff!” I scream.

“Sorry baby, I’ll get you another one” he smirks. He slides his hands all over my body, making me shiver.

“You like that?” he asks. I nod as he slips a finger in me and goes back to kissing. I  whimper from his touch and go for his underwear. I push them down and his member springs out. He kicks them off and slides two fingers in this time. I moan into his mouth as he goes at a fast pace. I let out more moans as I start to get close.

“Jeff baby, I’m abou-” when I said that, Jeff pulled his fingers away and I frown. 

“I want to feel you cum, not with my fingers” he smirks.

He grabs a condom out his wallet from his pocket and slide it on. He gives me a look for confirmation and I nod, just wanting to feel him already. He pushes his length into me. At first it hurt, but it always does when we have sex because of his huge size. The longer he’s in me, the more I get used to it. He pushes in slowly and draws out a little. I start to moan as I connect my lips with his. As he picks up his pace, I dig my nails into his back. He hooks my legs over his shoulder and I scream a little.

“Je-OH My fuck!” he’s directly hitting my g-spot and I can’t even think. I moan louder as I grab the pillow under my head, arching my back. 

“Fuck princess! you feel good” he moans. 

“H-harder J-Jeff!” He goes harder and I start almost full on screaming. As we both are climaxing, Jeff pulls out and puts me on all fours. He pushes back in and grabs my breast from behind. I lean back as he kisses my neck while pounding into me. He moans into my ear as I hold the back of his neck. I can’t control my moans and screams and neither can he. They come out louder as he hits the right spot over and over again. As we get closer, I fall onto my hands and Jeff holds my waist. He roughly rubs me with his fingers as I scream to let go of my release.

“J-JEFF!” I scream.

He cums shortly after I do and collapse next to me. We lay there in a comfortable silence while I rest my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. Both still out of breath, he looks over to me.

“Knock knock?”

“Who’s there” I laugh. 

“I love”

“I love who?” I say, letting him finish it this time for his sake.

“I love you” He smiles as he kisses me.

“My corny boyfriend” I laugh.


*Tomorrow Night*

“You guys have been inseparable all night my gosh” Jessica drunkenly laughs. Me and Jeff look at each other and chuckle, knowing exactly why. We have been at Jessica’s party for a while now and have been sitting on the couch with Jessica, Bryce, and Zach.

“Leave them alone babe, that’s how we are” Justin laughs.

“Oh, you get me flowers?” when Justin doesn’t answer, all of us start cracking up. 

“Well I’m going to get a beer, you guys want one?” Zach asks as he gets up. 

“Nah no thanks man, my girl will kill me cause I’m the driver tonight” I smile when he said that, happy that he cares about his well being. We continue talking to our group of friends and have a pretty good time.

“Where is Clay and Hannah” I whisper in his ear.

“Somewhere around here, probably upstairs, I did my meddling for the night and got them together.”

“Aw how noble of you” I giggle, pinching his cheeks. “Thank you ma’am”.

“See! look at them, they are perfect” Jessica playfully whines.

“Shut up!” Justin say as he grabs her face and start full on making out. Everyone starts ewing and shooing them off the couch.

“Get a room!”

“Jess, your room is upstairs!”

“Get it Foley!”

Justin flips us all off, never breaking their kiss and we all laugh. Monty taps Jeff on the shoulder and screams over the loud music.

“Yo bro you still doing the beer run!?”

Jeff got up and nodded his head, “Yeah shit I almost forgot”

I got up with him, frowning and grab his arm before he could go anywhere, “Babe do you have to go? I’m pretty sure there is enough beer, just not enough for every single person to get ass faced drunk.”

He kissed my forehead and smiled, “I’ll be right back babe I promise”. I pick up my bag and turn towards him, “Okay then I’m coming with you”.

“Baby, you have to watch out for Clay and Hannah remember, I’ll be back in 15 minutes then we can leave right after.”

I sigh still not liking this. I know he didn’t drink anything, but I’m still nervous for him to be out this late. What if someone else out there is drunk driving? I tell myself its fine and nod my head.

“Okay fine, just be careful J.”

“I will baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.” he gives me a peck on the lips and I hold onto his hand and let it slide out once he got to far to reach it. I watch him walk out the door and sit back down onto the couch, waiting for his return.


*4 Weeks Later*

Life is unfair. Life is so unfair. Why him? Why Jeff? Why my boyfriend. Such an amazing boyfriend. Is the best. Was the best. I stare down at his tombstone and couldn’t stop my tears from falling. So many tears. I found myself screaming at night. If I wasn’t screaming I was just silent. Completely silent. I mean was there for me to say? He’s gone. Jeff Atkins is gone. Never to hold me again, never to make me feel better, never to get me the flowers, never to throw rocks outside my window. I bend down and touch his stone. 

“I-I m-miss you so much” my voice cracks. “Why d-did you h-have to leave m-me?” I start crying harder. This is my first time being at his grave, due to the fear of seeing him. The fear of seeing reality of this situation. 

“Y-you would b-be so happy right now” I hiccup as I touch my stomach. I felt the little bump and smile through my tears.

“Y-you would have told him knock knock jokes” I laugh to myself, “or her”.

“Y-you would have t-taught baseball terms” I smile.

“You would h-have been the perfect dad” I cried looking down at him, “the best”.

I put the roses he always got me onto his grave and wiped my tears, even though they kept coming down. I kissed my finger and touched them against his stone that read 

Jeff Atkins

World’s greatest son 

world’s best companion

Even a better dad

Gone but never forgotten.

“I love you Jeff”I got up and continued crying as both Tony and Clay stood there respectfully and silent, waiting for me to finish. I smile lazily at them and hooked my arm into both of theirs as we walked out of the graveyard. I look back one more time and thought to myself ‘the love of my life might be gone, but he will forever live on in my heart’


A/N - Omgg!! I cried making this ending. It was so sad to me. I hope you guys liked it and love you guys for all your support. Your imagines are not forgotten.

about misgendering and deadnaming -

i’ve seen posts about this before, but never knew how to answer to them until very recently.

on various blogs around tumblr, asks are sent from baby trans people (aka people who just realized they’re trans, not actual babies), upset that they keep misgendering or deadnaming themselves – in thoughts, in reality, when writing about themselves, or in any other way. when i was a baby trans person, i had the same discomfort most trans people feel when that happened.

was i lying about being trans (even to myself)? was i faking it? was this just a confused phase of mine? when i used she/her to refer to myself, but wanted others to use he/him, was i in the wrong?

it’s been a worry of mine for years. then, i changed what masculine name i go by. i used to go by V (a whole name, of course, not just V). my deadname is not even close to V. for the first couple of months, maybe even a year, i kept thinking of myself as deadname, until it went away. i referred myself to V. i was V.

then, i decided to change the name i go by to N (the reason was that my parents and i decided to choose a name together, a name closer to my ethnic heritage than V had been), and instead of going through a phase of deadnaming myself… i went through a phase where i called myself V in my head, and i accidentally used V to introduce myself to people. i’m still in that phase.

these two names are both masculine. and yet, i keep calling myself the wrong name. this really helped me come to peace with the worries from my past. when i was deadnaming myself, i wasn’t doing it because i was faking being a trans guy; i deadnamed myself because that name was what i was conditioned to associate with myself. it was a habit to be my deadname. it had nothing to do with me being trans, and cis people who change their names go through the same process us trans people go through, yet i don’t think baby trans people are told this enough.

this isn’t trans man specific, or binary trans specific, or just name specific (everything about your deadname being your default applies to the pronouns you change away from as well, no matter if your new pronouns are). bur for trans and nb people, this confusion can also cause worry.

and i’m just here to tell you that you don’t need to worry. you’ll find one day that you react to your chosen name, but not your deadname. you’ll find that your thoughts address yourself with the correct pronouns. your confusion about your misgendering and deadnaming yourself isn’t a “sign” that you’re “not really trans” – it just means that you’re going through a change, and it’ll take a while to settle into your new “normal”.

you’re okay the way you are, even if you misgender or deadname yourself, and remember that most trans people has gone through the same thing you’re going through now.

(this, of course, does not mean that other people can use the excuse of “i’m just getting used to your transition!” to continue to misgender and deadname you without a continuous effort to correct themselves.)

Kiddies: websites record your IP address...

Anyone who has to moderate a forum or sub might be able to commiserate with this: So about 15 years ago, I ran a fan site devoted to a popular film trilogy - it was a fairly popular site, and we had a lot of content, from useful information relating to the books/movies, a huge image gallery, and fan fiction. And of course, we had a forum…

This film series tended to get a lot of fans on the younger side, and I made a conscious decision to have pretty strict rules about what was allowed on the forums - my site, paid for out of my pocket, so I get to set the rules. One of those rules was no racist, homophobic, or other hate speech allowed.

As you can guess, we’d sometimes get some obnoxious little twerps coming and posting vile things; most of the time, the IP information and/or email address would be a dead end, and the best we could do is block them, and hope they wouldn’t come back under another IP. Well, at one point, we had a pair of kids come along that really took the cake - they spammed a bunch of terrible racist things in the forums, along with some porn images and other nasty stuff.

When I looked up their IP info, for once I had hit the jackpot - the IP address led back to a middle school. So I gathered up all the information, including screenshots, IP addresses, date and time, and the usernames and email addresses associated with the two accounts, and sent it on to the school.

I heard back from the school a few days later - they had found the kids who had done the posting. They had apparently been using the library computer during lunchtime - which had a sign-in sheet, hence they were able to track them down. When confronted, the kids confessed. The school revoked their computer privileges for the rest of the term, contacted their parents, and actually made them write me an apology letter! I honestly thought nothing would ever come of it, so it was a nice surprise to actually have a resolution; I guess maybe I should feel a little bad about getting a couple of 12 year olds in so much trouble, but on the other hand…they were being little turds. Hopefully they learned some sort of lesson, even if it was to use a proxy in the future…

Let me tell you what it’s been like being asexual.

-

When you’re twelve or so, and in a classroom full of tittering preteens, you finally get an explanation of what this ‘sex’ stuff actually is.  At last, the elusive knowledge of where babies come from!  But that’s also when you start to think about your sexual future.  Will you do this sex stuff one day?  It sounded like you wouldn’t have a choice—it was presented as something that everyone does.

Since your classroom happens to be in a building attached to a Church, you only learn about heterosexual sex that day, and the only real teaching apart from what it is is that you aren’t supposed to do it until you’re married.

Okay, you think, because you are twelve, and you ardently do not care.

-

When you’re thirteen or so, and at a sleepover, a girl tells a joke.  “What do you call a girl who doesn’t masturbate?”

“I don’t know.”

“A liar.”

And the people around you laugh, but you don’t, because now you wonder what it is that you missed.  You didn’t get the joke.

-

When you’re fourteen or so, and among friends, a boy talks about what he did in the restroom with a girl.  You listen because you’re a little curious.  But others are awed.

You disapprove, because you’re in eighth grade for crying out loud, why would you do something so stupidly risky?  Was it really so fun to be worth it?

You tell yourself that they’re just stupid, but then you wonder why your friends seem so fascinated by this boy’s vaguely uncomfortable descriptions.

-

When you’re fifteen or so, you start high school, and the social signs are telling you the time has arrived to join the dating scene.  You’ve got better things to do, but when a boy surprises you with a clumsy but well-intended text asking you out, you give it consideration.  You don’t really know this kid, but you’re curious about dating and don’t want to be that forever alone person.  You accept.

You don’t hate dating, but it doesn’t really do much for you.  After a little while, you’ve more or less forgotten that there’s someone you call your boyfriend.  When someone makes a passing remark about your presumed sexual relations, you are shocked by the wave of revulsion that smacks into you at the very suggestion.  Never in a million years, you think vehemently, and then you marvel at how you managed to ‘date’ the same person for four months without the thought of sex with them ever crossing your mind.

He tries to kiss you.  You don’t want to.  You know this isn’t going to work out.  You break it off.

You feel relieved and liberated.

-

When you’re sixteen or so, you’re happily single.  You love your friends dearly, your best friend most of all.  You love her far more than you ever…well, you never really loved your ex.  You wonder if you might be gay for her, but you don’t want to kiss her or anything, just squish her in a big hug on a daily basis to let her know you love her and put a smile on her face.

You have a fleeting crush on a boy.  You get over it, thankful it never amounted to anything, because what were you thinking ew!  Then you have another one, similar but different, and thank goodness that never happened either because it would have been so awkward.  You start to wonder if you’re just not cut out for dating, or maybe you’re gay.  You don’t know how to feel about that.  It’d be so much simpler and easier if you were just normal.

-

When you’re seventeen or so, you make a new friend, a really pleasant guy.  You are just friends, and that is perfect.  It lasts about five months, and then one of your friends pulls him aside and hints heavily that he ought to ask you out.

He does.  You have no compunctions about saying yes, because you like him a lot, and he’s taking you to see the new Hobbit movie even though he’s not a fan and he had to watch twelve hours of movies in preparation for this date so that he’d be able to understand your interest.

You have a great time, and so does he.

About a month later, he kisses you.  It was your first kiss, exciting for the seventeen years of buildup and pleasant for having happened on acceptable terms with a more-than-acceptable person.

In the following months, neither of you brings up the topic of sex.  After all, you’re both to be found in the pews on Sunday mornings.  That’s fine by you.  More than fine, actually.  The idea of sex frightens you, which you attribute to your inexperience.  You would only ever consider attempting it with someone you really trusted, on level with a spouse.

-

When you’re eighteen or so, and at a sleepover, a girl cuddles casually with you as you talk in the hushed tones reserved for the hours after midnight.  She laments the lack of available girls at your school.

You mention that you would date a girl.  You instantly have everyone’s attention.

“Is there something you want to tell us?” your cuddle-buddy asks.

You say again that you’d date a girl.  Not now, of course, because you have a boyfriend, but yeah, you’d have no problem with it.  You probably wouldn’t sleep with a girl, but then you really don’t like the idea of sleeping with a boy either.  So you don’t really care about the configuration of genitals you don’t intend to see.  You just want the company of some lovely dork who will marathon Lord of the Rings with you and frequent the city’s best ice cream parlors.

Because your cuddle-buddy is a member of the queer community, she’s much more informed about sexualities and designations and spectrums than you are.  She suggests “panromantic asexual” and you understand both of those terms.  You’d seen them before, but never really thought you qualified.  Hearing her say it makes it somehow more concrete.

You accept that you are panromantic asexual.  You feel so light now that a couple of your closest friends know and accept you as you are.

You tell your mom a little while later on a whim.  You regret it because she doesn’t even bother listening to you and doesn’t respect your trust.  You hear her the next day telling your sister about how you said you might be a lesbian, and you’re so frustrated with her you want to hit something.

You decide not to tell anyone else.  Your dad is pretty homophobic—actually, that’d be most of the adults in your family—and you have no idea how your boyfriend would take it.  Your peers might not be welcoming or understanding—you just don’t know.  You realize that you are sort of in a closet.

You start a blog on Tumblr and blog about your problems #ace #asexual #lgbtqa

You spend way too much time on the internet, looking for the magical solution for coming out to the rest of your loved ones.  But since you don’t actually have any intention of coming out in the near future, you know you’re wasting your time.

Somehow your disinterest in sex has moved to occupy the forefront of your mind, not because it requires lots of attention in order to comprehend, but because it makes you different, and that is distracting.

One day, while you’re reading fanfiction, you come across an explicitly asexual character, and you realize that this is a first.  You cannot think of a single time in your entire life up to this point when you had seen an explicitly asexual character, and that surprises you.  Then it bothers you.  Maybe you could have avoided a couple years of uncertainty and anxiety if you had been able to identify in yourself the familiar characteristics of another asexual.

You realize you don’t know anyone else in your life who’s asexual.

That’s a sobering, isolating realization.

-

When you’re nineteen or so, you presumably go to college.  You start trying to navigate life with some semblance of independence.  You probably feel a little more secure in how you identify yourself.  You might even be all the way out of the closet.

Or at least that’s what eighteen-year-old you hopes.

Drive

Halsey song lyric imagine

wordcount: 2.1k

Summary:  Y/N and Jughead take a long drive out of Riverdale for a road trip and discover their hidden feelings for each other 

Warnings: swearing, slight smut, drinking

‘Swerving on the 405, I can never keep my eyes off this’

We’d been driving for hours, we didn’t even know where we were going anymore, or what were running from. The sudden impulsive decision to get out of town and take a road trip was decided by Jughead. He had been distressed at school lately and said he had a lot of stuff going on in his head, and he needed to get away. 

Me being the good friend I am, and caring a great deal for him, didn’t want him to be alone so I decided to make the offer on taking him away for a while. 

Keep reading

In One Piece

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose before hissing through gritted teeth, “You told me to come home t’yeh, an’ while I’m out there nearly dyin’, you’re here playin’ house with some bloke?”

or

Alex returns home from Dunkirk to some very unpleasant and unsettling news.

Keep reading

just another coffee shop AU

So this was part of a not!fic challenge but it ended up as more of a fic than a not!fic, so I’m posting it here. The challenge was to put a trope in my inbox and I’d tell you about the story I’d write. (Honestly, I’m tempted to adapt this and try to do it as orig fic, haha) So enjoy.

It’s harder than you think to get a job in a little podunk town that’s mostly home to fishermen. Dex takes what he can get, and what he can get is a job dishing out lattes and scones at the little pretentious coffee house that vacationing yuppies love to frequent on their way to Maine’s outlet malls. It’s barely a living, but Dex doesn’t need much.

He serves coffee one day to the preppiest of the prep – a luxuriously coiffed writer who tells him that the coffee shop has the perfect atmosphere for inspiration. Dex snorts. This is a guy who wears his stubble purposely rough, to achieve some kind of effect. He probably wears “pre-distressed” clothing (although right now his outfit’s actually really sharp, with this vest over a fuzzy, tight-fitting sweater.)

The writer challenges him. “Come on, you have to have a little poetry in your soul?”

“I sold my soul for a three-dollar latte,” Dex replies.

The man laughs, and goddamn, even his teeth are perfect.

Keep reading

What happens in Vegas... - Tom Holland

Word count: 2448

Summery: You wake up after a night in Las Vegas, only to discover you married the one and only Tom Holland 

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4  | Part 5 | Part 6 | Epilogue

A/N: I really hope this makes up for the weekend! I was inspired by Carrie Underwood’s “Last Name”. Please, let me know what you think! It would really mean a lot! If the interest is there, I might make it into a series, so just let me know if you want a part 2! 

I know the ending is lacking a little, but i’m reallly tired, so i’ll just make it a cliffhanger! 


You woke to the sun shining on your face through the window. Your throat was drier than Sahara, and your head was pounding. You fumbled for your phone, and when you looked at the time, you also saw the notifications on your phone.

Your twitter and Instagram had blown up overnight. Like really blown up. There had never been this amount of notifications before. How the hell did this happen?

I don’t know what happened, but there’s a legal document stating that we’re married!” You heard a voice say outside the door. You frowned your brows. When you looked down at your hand, to find a slim golden ring, that you were sure hadn’t been there yesterday. What the shit happened last night?

I did what?” His voice continued. You opened twitter, and quickly gave up on figuring something out based on your notifications. Instead you found a couple of news articles, and several screenshots of a tweet.

“Just married the love of my life, @y/t” and a photo of you in a white dress, kissing the guy who you assumed sent out the tweet. Did you seriously get married to some stranger last night? And apparently someone famous too! At least you got the wild Vegas trip you wanted, you just didn’t expect to get married.

With a sore body, you left the bed. You were only in your underwear, the white dress laying on the floor, and your other clothes were nowhere to be found. You didn’t really feel like wear a wedding dress, so you searched the rest of the floor, and found a white T-shirt, that you quickly put on.

As you walked out of the bedroom, you found the guy standing shirtless, leaning against the kitchen counter. He eyed you, as you walked to him. You spotted the matching ring on his finger, and sighed internally.

“Haz, I gotta go. I’ll call you later” He hung up the phone, and sent you an awkward smile. “Hi. Ehm. So. We got married last night. It was a mistake, uh. I was very drunk, and I’m guessing that you were as well. I think we might have slept together, but I’m not sure, and this is going to sound really bad, but I don’t remember your name”

“it’s y/n. I didn’t plan on getting married to a stranger, yet alone a famous one, so there’s that. What do we do? Can’t we just get an annulment? Or a divorce or something?” You asked. You knew your parents was going to be so mad if they found out that you got married in Vegas.

“About that. I kinda told the whole world we got married, and my agent thinks it would be bad for my reputation to get a divorce. It would apparently be, and I quote “a PR nightmare”, and I don’t want that” He explained, and you were a bit shocked.

“You want us to stay married? Are you serious?” You couldn’t believe it. Why would you want to do that? “Yes. Just for a couple of months! Maybe a year. It’s my agents idea, and I thinks it’s kinda stupid, but Marvel don’t really like the idea of damaging my reputation if we can help it. So yeah. Sorry” He apologized, and you could feel yourself getting angry. Who the hell was he to think, that he could decide that?

“I don’t want to be married to you! I don’t know you! Hell, I don’t even know my own last name right now. I’m not going to stay married to you, just to help your career! Who exactly do you think you are?” You were definitely angry now. He was about to say something, as your phone rang. Before he could speak, you answered the phone.

“Y/n! I just got off the phone with Tom Holland’s manager. He told me what happened. How you got married in Vegas, congratulations on that by the way” He told you. You prayed that he could help you out with the divorce part.

“Oh thank god! I don’t want to be married, to that arrogant prick. So please, tell you can get an annulment!” You watched the annoyed expression on Tom’s face, but you just rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah, I don’t think we should do that. Netflix just offered you a role in a new series. Mostly because of the news of you getting married. It would be great for your career!” No-no-no-no-no! This could not be happening!

“Are you kidding me? Why on earth would I want to do that?!” you yelled into the phone. “Well, look at it as an opportunity! Mr. Holland is a very international name, and being with him, could mean you get your big break”

“And before you say anything, Ellen wants you on her show. Don’t turn it down. This might be your only chance” You manager continued, and you just wanted to smash something.

“You can tell Holland’s manager that I want a contract, if we’re staying married” You said before hanging up. You glared at your new husband. This couldn’t possibly end well.

“So I’m guessing we’re married. Look at it positively. You’ll get famous quite fast now” He smirked, and you just wanted to slap the smile of his face.

“Oh please. This is strictly business, okay? I don’t care if we slept together last night, but I won’t happen again. I’ll play the part in public, but other than that I don’t care about you” You said coldly. You didn’t like him. He seemed so arrogant. Who gave him the right to think he was so much better than you?

“That goes both ways. Maybe we should get to know each other, and maybe agree on what we’re telling the public. Do we pretend that we know everything about each other, and that we just kept our relationship hidden? Or do we play it off as a love at first sight thing?” His voice was, is possible, colder than yours.

“Love at first sight. Then I don’t have to spend that much time getting to know you. At least not right now” You glared at him, really wishing you weren’t wearing his shirt. It just seemed wrong, and if he claimed It back, you would feel very exposed.

“Great! If you just give me my shirt back, I’ll leave. I don’t really want to be here anyway” You took the shirt off, and almost instantly the annoyed look in his eyes disappeared. His eyes went down your body, up again, only to go down once more, and then stop at your bra.

“Hey jerk. My eyes are up here” You threw the shirt in his face, and you turned on your hell and walked towards the bedroom again. It gave you some satisfaction, knowing he was staring. At least in this way you were better than him, and you were going to let him know. It didn’t take long before you heard the door slam shut.

***

A couple of days had passed. You had been so busy with phone calls, from your family, your friends and even journalists too. You had gotten the script for your new role, so when you hadn’t been on the phone, you had been learning your lines. For short moments, you had happily forgotten you had to play the role of Tom Holland’s wife as well. You sat down on the couch, mentally preparing for the interview. This was your first real interview.

“So, we’re here with Tom Holland and y/n y/l/n! Or do you prefer Holland?” The host asked, and you quickly looked over at Tom, who was casually sitting with his arm around you. “Both actually. As an actor, I want to be my own person, so there I prefer just my own name. But in every other situation, I very much prefer Holland” You gave the biggest smile you could, and looked back at the host.

“That’s so sweet. So let’s get right to the question everyone’s been asking. How long have you been together?” The host leaned forward a little, and you looked at Tom as he started to answer.

“Well, Darling. How long have we been married?” He looked at you, and your faces was suddenly so close to each other, and you forced a giggle. “4 days” You said, keeping your eyes locked on his, until he looked back at the host. “We’ve known each other for 4 days” He said, still smiling wide.

“What?! This is unexpected news! So you guys didn’t know each other before getting married?” The host looked at you with wide eyes, and a slightly open mouth.

“Kind of. We ran into each other in the afternoon. I had just gotten the part in the new series, and I wanted to celebrate. Then I met Tom” You glanced at him again, trying to seem in love. “He spilled a glass of water on me, and when I looked into his eyes, I just couldn’t look away” You continued.

“I’ve never been the type, to just fall in love, but there was just this instant connection. Everything just felt so right. It was really spontaneous, we can both admit that” He laughed, and you decided to continue.

“There was just something so beautiful about the love. I think we both wanted to have it to ourselves, just for a minute. We didn’t tell our family, we didn’t tell our friends. We got a dress, a suit. Then we got married” You carefully bit your lip nervously. “You didn’t tell your family?” The host asked, a bit astonished.

“No. It was some very awkward phone calls the following day. I think the word stupid was used a couple of times” Tom answered. The interview went on with you talking about the wedding, and just a bit about your new projects.

***

You were already hating this day. The interview was hard getting through, but now you still had to go on a date with Tom. You had to be seen out in public, preferably kissing. As you stood in front of the mirror, applying your favourite lipstick, you thought about how you were going to survive tonight.

You looked at the time. He was going to be here in 2 minutes, so in your opinion he should’ve been here 3 minutes ago. You absolutely hated when people were late, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he was. He was rude, and arrogant, so he was probably also late.

There was a knock on the door, and you were actually a bit surprised. You went to open the door, to find him leaning against the doorframe, looking at his phone. Impatient could be added to list as well. He looked up at you, and once again his eyes scanned you, causing you to smirk.

“As annoying as you are, you are still hot. So as long as you keep your mouth shut, I might actually survive tonight” He smiled, and you rolled your eyes, as you walked out to lock the door to your apartment.

“You’re just so charming, I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have married you” You said, you voice dripping with sarcasm. You followed him to the car, and he quickly started driving to the cinema. You were going to see one of your movies. Well, it wasn’t your movie, but you did have a minor role in it. It was a dancing movie, and you were a backup dancer. You were on screen a lot, but you didn’t really have any lines.

As you got to the cinema, you found you seats. Your fingers were intertwined. As soon as the lights dimmed, all physical contact stopped. You didn’t focus much on the movie, instead you looked around to see what everyone else thought. You had seen it a couple of times already, so there was nothing new in it for you.

You reached a scene with a little sexier dance. You weren’t wearing much clothes in the scene. You always looked away in this scene, not because you were embarrassed, but because it was very strange seeing yourself be so sexually powerful.

As you glanced at Tom, you saw him smiling, and he started biting his lips. He didn’t realize you were staring, which make you smirk. The scene was definitely turning him on, and you couldn’t help laughing to yourself. He was such a jerk, but apparently all it took was a dance. This could definitely be used as torture. It was going to be some long months, so you might as well find something to entertain yourself with.

After the movie ended, and you walked out of the cinema, there were a lot of paparazzi. This was it, now was the time for your grand kiss. He was holding your hand, leading you to the car. He opened the door for you, and before you could prepare, he put his lips on yours.

You wanted to push him away, but you also knew you had to make it seem real. You put your hands behind his neck, and deepened the kiss a bit. You tried to imagine him as some other actor, but none of your tries really worked. After a while he pulled back, and you got in the car. He got in on the other side, and started driving.

“some of the paparazzi followed us, so if it okay with you, I’ll come up with you. I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll be gone, before you’re up tomorrow” He said awkwardly, as he looked at you.

“Sure, I don’t care” You shrugged your shoulders, and in silence you walked up to the apartment. “Do you think we should move in together? To make it more believable. I got 2 bedrooms, so it wouldn’t be a problem” He stated, and you were once again rolling your eyes.

“So do i. We could just as well move here” You answered, as you opened the door. “Maybe we should talk about this some other day. I’m tired, and I really don’t have the energy to argue with you” He sat on the couch, and you mentally cursed at him. The moron didn’t take off his shoes.

“Since you’re here, do mind unzipping my dress? And taking your shoes off” You smiled ironically, as you walked towards him, turning your back against him.

“Sure” He sighed, slowly unzipping your dress, letting it fall down. You could’ve done it yourself, but you liked teasing him. He could be as mean as he wanted, but he couldn’t take his eyes off your matching black bra and panties.

this one boy called me a bitch because i wouldn’t give him my number and before he could get all of it out a boy maybe a couple years older than me that i don’t even know walked up in the most respectful manner told him to leave me alone or he was gone do what he had to do. it really touched my heart because it was so sweet and he had no clue who i was but he stood up for me. we need more men like this

Not 100% sure if I’m back yet, between some emotional and physical issues and feeling like the creative equivalent of being dragged through the mud.

From time to time, I check out you lovely folks who like and reblog my work, which I’m utterly grateful for. I find some amazing stuff, such as this slime from @lostforte

So I figured I’d do a bit of fanart during my hiatus time. Plus, I do have a soft spot for slime/goo characters.