or is this just zacharie

6

ACTUAL LONG-SUFFERING SINGLE DAD CHRISTOPHER PIKE

reasons She Loves Me is the most #relatable show of our generation
  • “……are you looking for a job?” “HHHHHHHHWELL I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT YES”
  • looking everywhere and then finding it in your bra
  • Amalia the Queen of Retail Bullshitting 
  • “:) :) :) mmmmm go to hell :) :) :)” 
  • “Do I look alright?” “Oh lovely! wonderful! *glares at everyone in the room* VERY NICE”
  • “tell me, what’s he like? tell me all about him! i love to suffer”
  • Amalia “His FAQ says he likes books” Balash
  • “i’m an idiot!…but at least im an idiot with a job”
  • a whole song thats just “who gives a shit about a shitty retail job we’re all insignificant in this vast and unknowable universe”
  • “thank you madam please call again doooo call again madam” *goes right back to fighting with coworker*
  • “I DO NOT resent you!! ………………….. buT iF I DiD”
  • Im way better on paper and also when I have 2 hours to think of a response !!!!
  • Georg “Id rather pretend to leave town than potentially disappoint my crush” Nowack
  • Ladislav = the messy wingman friend™
  • Georg “I chug white wine like a Real Housewife” Nowack
  • the #dramatique maitre’d
  • Amalia “Im wine-tipsy and love-bitter” Balash
  • “IF I WAS SICK COULD I DO THIS???” - Leslie Knope/Amalia Balash
  • Hugging ice cream to your face like your husband come back from the war
  • “Theres something wrong with this ice cream…so much salt” “Well are you surprised, all those tears falling into it?” “Oh……i better cry in the other direction”
  • Straight-up eating fallen ice cream off your pants #whoneedsaspoon  #5secondrule
  • Georg “Imma flirt by talking about a suicide in a old-ass, long-ass novel” Nowack
  • he brought me ice cream……………I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HIM
  • a whole song thats basically a passive-aggressive musical theatre version of that SNL Best Buy skit
  • the Embittered Seasonal Retail Hell Choir we all need 
  • “these are the people who shop in time :) :) :) AND THEY CAN GO TO HELL”
  • “you wanna untangle it? shoot yourself!” 
  • tfw you heavily hint at the christmas present you want and your parent SHOOTS YOU TF DOWN
  • SNOW MAKES EVERYTHING MORE ROMANTIC JANE VILLANUEVA SAID SO 
  • TL;DR IT’S TROPEY AND CHEESY AND AWKWARD AND WONDERFUL GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW
yahoo

More outtake fun from Star Trek Beyond