or if you don't have the time to go back and watch everything

my experiences with overwatch characters
  • genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn
  • mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn
  • pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks
  • reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs
  • solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it
  • sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever
  • tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying
  • ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though
  • lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him
  • mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death
  • zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression
  • symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality
  • reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him
  • roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map
  • winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids
  • zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed
  • d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started
  • bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio
  • hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously
  • junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress
  • torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him
  • widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male
  • mei: fuck you to hell

Femslash Crossover: Michaela Pratt / Tiana Brown (Empire)

Michaela isn’t a huge fan of her music, having only heard those of her songs played on the radio, but she can’t help feeling a bit star-struck as she watches Tiana Brown settle down at the opposite end of the bar. The place isn’t exactly a hole in the wall, but it isn’t somewhere you’d expect to find someone of her caliber. For the moment, they are the only two patrons, the space having cleared due to the late hour. Before she can ponder why the singer would be there, the muted television situated behind the bartender flashes a photograph of Philip Jessup. The image brings back everything Michaela had been on a quest to temporarily forget.

“Go Home,” Annalise had told them, “Have sex, get drunk, whatever makes you happy.” Michaela didn’t want to go home, the prospect of her empty apartment daunting with a crazed murderer on the loose, and the last time she’d had sex (or been happy for that matter) she’d been accompanied by Caleb. With the many lies between them and the way their conversations had gone of late, that relationship was better left in the past. Following Connor home another night was out of the question, and both Laurel and Wes were still missing in action. That’s how she had ended up alone at the bar.

Sighing, Michaela downs her drink. The burn of the liquor eases some of her tension, and so she orders another, the oblivion of drunkenness calling to her. The next drink goes down even better than the last. Before she has time to request another, the bartender places one before her, taking her empty glass in the process.

“I didn’t order–”

“It’s from her,” he cuts her off, pointing in the direction opposite to her. “She says you look like you could use it more than her… I’m sure she means that in the best way possible.”