or i suppose read what he is saying

anonymous asked:

The sun interview is so horrible. I was happy with the Zouis part but i got really mad with all things about eleanor and how great she is. I was literally shaking while reading that. I hope is not true.

Hey anon!

What is he supposed to say? He’s claiming the song isn’t personal (Larries rejoice). In order to prove it, he needs to fawn over the public relationship the song would be assumed to be about.

I’m not being dismissive of your anger, just pointing all this all works together to form a story.

It bothers me to see how many people are saying stuff like “I thought Bill Nye was supposed to be the science guy, he’s buying into this SJW cuck libtard stuff! Science says there are only two genders!” in response to Bill Nye covering gender and sexuality on Bill Nye Saves the World.

…Like, did they even listen to what he said? Have they read any peer-reviewed literature about the subject? Is their understanding of “gender” limited to a middle school understanding of X and Y chromosomes? Bill Nye addressed chromosomes, hormones, genitalia and secondary sex characteristics when talking about how some of us don’t fit into the male/female sex dichotomy, and brought up psychology and neuroscience when talking about gender and its difference from sex, and also sexuality. The actual science of sex, gender and sexuality across the animal kingdom and across human behaviour is far more interesting than “lol nope science says there are only two genders.” 

It honestly makes me angry when people say “lol I thought this was about science” whenever a scientist says something about topics like gender, sexuality, climate change or evolution that annoys someone. You can’t just pretend science is on your side when your understanding of science is based on a grade school textbook.

Also, why is it only gender people seem to have a problem with? Yeah, basic school textbooks will talk about XX and XY chromosomes and the male and female reproductive system, but they’ll also talk about how humans have five fingers on each hand and how the eye works when everyone knows some humans are born with six fingers on each hand or born blind. Textbooks will talk about how our body metabolises fats, but nobody would say “lol no sorry science says otherwise” at someone (like one of my secondary school classmates) who had a rare disorder who couldn’t metabolise fats. We accept that sweeping statements about human biology are generalisations. Sure, there are limits - no humans have wings or feathers, that would go against science - but we all accept some level of human diversity outside the basic-level textbooks - diversity that’s described well in the advanced medical textbooks. So why is it people only apply this logic to gender and not other differences in human biology?

I think part of it could be the backlash against postmodern nonsense which suggests everything is opinion and science is no more objective than art, which is a blatantly anti-science attitude. But the idea that sex, gender and sexuality aren’t totally binary isn’t just postmodern gender theory, it’s actual science with empirical evidence to back it up. 

I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.

So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms… I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode. 

The first thing I noticed was this: 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body. 

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Ok guys, major nerd-out post here regarding Shiro's arm!

As a student in their 4th year of undergrad for a degree in prosthetics, I’m absolutely SMITTEN with Shiro’s bionic arm (and the guy it’s attached to, obviously). But as much as I adore all the art and fics, there are a few things that are driving me nuts that I’d like to share in a few points here, just for reference if anyone wants it. I’ve seen very few fanworks with a proper presentation of artificial limbs, so here goes! 

 #1. Under NO circumstances does anyone sleep with their prosthetic limb on. 

You read that right: under NO circumstances! This also goes for taking a shower. It might look sexy until you get shocked with however many volts he’s got in that thing, But even if it’s waterproof, what is the purpose?? of having it in the shower? when your supposed to be washing the residual limb as well??

“But Wait!” I hear someone say. “Isn’t it implied that Shiro’s arm is permanently attached somehow, and he can’t or doesn’t know how to take it off?”

To answer your question, yes, it is implied. And I’m here to tell you how that is ABSOLUTELY NOT POSSIBLE.

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okay, so I’ve seen multiple posts just today that were basically like “haha who ever said adulthood was having your life together and everything figured out, I’m 28 and real life is drowning me as much as it ever was”

and like…the answer to that is…adults. adults said that. generation after generation, the narrative from adults to young people has been, “you are a dumb kid who doesn’t know the world or yourself but I am a Grownup with Life Experience™, and that’s why you’re supposed to do what I tell you, that’s why I don’t need to listen to your thoughts and feelings, that’s why society imagines me as a full human being and you as something that’s going to grow into a full human being.”

there’s a great book all about this that I’ve had a lot of my students read - Childhood and Society, by a sociologist named Nick Lee. Lee argues that the child/adult binary is a socially constructed one, based, like any other such binary, on an imagined idea of clearly oppositional characteristics. specifically, he says that children are imagined as incomplete, unstable (as in their lives and experiences are constantly changing, not as in mentally unstable), and dependent, and adults as complete, stable, and independent. those characteristics don’t match up to reality if you think about them too hard for even a moment - no one is truly independent, adults’ lives aren’t stable, what does judging a human being’s “completeness” even mean - but it doesn’t matter, because our culture is so obsessed with believing in them.

and adults being forced to pretend they’re complete and independent and living stable lives is one of the toxic ways all this plays on people of all ages.

I really hope that seeing my generation talk like this - just flat-out admit that we don’t know what the hell we’re doing any better than we did ten years ago - means we have the potential to break this cycle. but honestly, entering my 30s and having seen so many people my age turn into those adults who act like they have life so well figured out compared to those dumb kids, it doesn’t seem likely. we might be a little better than we could’ve been, but too many of us are going down that tired old road of transitioning from talking about how much smarter we are than our parents to talking about how much smarter we are than our kids, just like every generation does when it hits this age.

I guess what I’m saying is, please, young 20-somethings of today, be better ten years from now than we are.

anonymous asked:

so, um. if you have any particular feelings about labyrinth--specifically Sarah--uh, go wild.

WILD PEACHES  [AO3]

.

The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast. She has to brush some glitter off the toaster—it withers and vanishes at the brush of her fingertips, and she stares at her hand for a long time. 

It mostly just looks like her hand. Even when she turns it over, and sees where she scraped her knuckles against the oubliette, where the shattered mirror cut the back of her wrist. It looks like she fell, or was playing in the street. That’s all.

The toast comes out burned, and Sarah stares at that too. Eventually, she slumps down against the cabinets and cries, wracking sobs that send her dad and Karen rushing into kitchen. They check her forehead for a fever, put their hands on her, and keep asking, “Are you okay? Sarah, please, tell us what’s wrong…”

Eventually, her dad drags her into his lap and cradles her against his chest, like he did when she was little. Her legs are too long to really fit anymore, but Sarah hugs him around the neck anyway. “It’ll be okay,” he says, keeps saying. “You’ll be okay.” And Sarah—doesn’t laugh, because she can’t, and doesn’t have the words to express what—how—

(None of her stories ever talked about this. What did Sir George do, the morning after he slayed the last dragon in England? Did Tam Lin eat breakfast, or did he sit there, shivering, wondering if his hands were different, having been claws and wings and scales?)

Afterwards, she leaves the burnt toast outside on the back porch. Not an offering. Maybe a reminder.

.

It’s Didymus she sees the most often, mostly because he’s the one who invites himself rather than waiting for an invitation. He comes for tea, but even if there’s no tea—which there isn’t, usually—he comes to tell Sarah stories. She learns to love poetry because there’s no escaping it with him. (She won’t read Idylls of the King until Brit Lit in college, but she ends up scrawling a lot in the margins; Didymus’ telling of events had been much more interesting.)

Once, she falls asleep like that, her hands tucked behind her head with Didymus curled up and sleepily reciting from the crook of her elbow. “So tender was her voice, so fair her face—though I don’t think he was looking at her face, my lady, pardon me for saying so—”

Sarah buries her nose in his fur. Didymus always smells of rosewater, and a crispness she thinks is just…the Labyrinth. She falls asleep trying to place it.

She wakes up with a wild fox in her bed, animal-black eyes frightened and flat, teeth bared. The fox is whining, and she’s tempted to throw herself across the room, to get away from this wild thing and its teeth. It takes a monumental will to keep herself still and her breathing slow, even; like she’s still asleep and unafraid. 

It takes her longer to swallow, and start humming one of the songs he taught her—a knight’s round, he’d said. She’s shaky at first, but the fox’s ears flick forward. It cocks its head, and slowly, the teeth disappear behind its lips. 

She almost laughs when noses at her throat curiously, butting its head against her jaw like a cat might.

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archie-thecookiemonster  asked:

do you have any thoughts or head canons about adhd lance?

All I Do Is Think About ADHD Lance 24/7, 7 Days A Week, All Year Long. Anyway here goes.

  • Lance: [mockingly] “We need to focus.”
    • That’s a canon line like… ADHD Lance is real lmao
  • He tries his best to follow verbal directions, he really does, but it’s.. His short-term memory is honestly so fucked to hell lmao. Things just get switched around the moment someone says them.
    • Blue takes to recording things sort of?? Like Shiro and Allura will divvy out tasks at the beginning of a mission, and once Lance is in the cockpit Blue will pull up a miniscreen that has all his duties typed out for him. So he can read them and then know what he needs to do, all in the correct order.
    • When he completes an objective, he gets a checkmark!
  • Lance: I know I’m supposed to take my meds on a strict schedule but what if I… did Not do that… lol
    Hunk: Lance, that sounds like a really bad idea
    Lance: Nah it’ll be fine
    • Lance, thirty minutes later: Hunk, if you have ever loved me, you will kill me.
      Hunk: (rubbing Lance’s back) I know it’s bad, but it’ll pass
  • During his downtime, Lance can usually be found wearing Pidge’s headphones. He doesn’t even have any music playing, he just likes how they muffle out most sound. 
    • Noise-cancelling headphones kind of freak him out, he needs a pair that strikes that perfect balance of Blocking Out Most Noise while simultaneously allowing him to register stimuli.
  • Pidge eventually makes him a pair of blue headphones and Lance spends the rest of the day like :’)
  • He zones out very easily, so he tends to keep a timer on his person, just so he can be aware of.. himself, I guess. He hates losing track of time, because Lance is a very big ‘live in the moment’ kind of guy, so it’s frustrating when he misses out on life because of his ADHD.
  • Lance always needs some kind of background noise, just to keep him from being anxious. When he’s stressed but really needs to focus, he literally just listens to static/white background noise. It’s super helpful actually, I really recommend it.
  • Allura: Paladins, your training session for the day will be spent meditating (Lance gets up) on the bond between you and your- Lance?
    • Lance: (halfway out the door) lmao have fun guys!
  • Sometimes his brain just goes into hyperdrive so Lance will go to the training room and either run around until he gets tired or go on the Altean equivalent of a treadmill and pound out a few miles.
  • His ADHD ties into a lot of his insecurities. Lance has a big family, which means that everyone kind of has to be loud in order to be heard. So his hyperactiveness didn’t really stand out until he hit middle school, which was when he was finally diagnosed.
    • Lance is a smart kid, but he always feels like he’s two steps behind everyone else because of his ADHD. It slows him down, almost, even as it sends his mind into overtime. And that niggles away at him. 
    • A big problem is that Lance doesn’t really know his own limits… or he does, but he refuses to acknowledge them. He’s constantly comparing himself and his abilities against other people (Keith) and becomes frustrated when he can’t ‘keep up’ when in reality… They’re racing on two completely different tracks. He just refuses to accept that.
'Tis but a scratch!

Our warrior had lost one of his legs after heroically challenging an enemy commander to a duel (to give us time to either dispose of the soldiers or to run). The GM decided that such courage ought to be rewarded and used the near death experience as a trigger for magic (awakening, as we called it in our universe). The warrior ended up being a necromancer. This has led to various funny situations, as the party tried to figure out how to best exploit this newfound talent.

Me: So, I guess we’re going to need a peg leg, huh?

Former warrior: *reading up on his new magic talents* Yeah…hey, it says here that I can sense and summon ghosts. Does that apply to objects as well?

GM: I suppose.

Rogue: *getting excited* So he could have like spectral weapons?

GM: *consults notes* Yes, though they would shatter easily.

Archer: What about -

Rogue: Wait. Is the ghost of his leg there?

GM: What?

Rest of party:  *stifling laughter*

Rogue: So is it?

GM: *hesitates* I guess…

Former warrior: *starts grinning*

Rogue: *grins back* Guys…

Rest of party: Yeah?

Rogue: Spectral limbs!

Party: *bursts into laughter*

GM: …Okay, for the sheer hilarity I’ll allow it.

Former warrior: Yes! *performs spell*

GM: *sighs* I can’t believe I am saying this…You summon the ghost of your leg.
Congratulations, you now have a spectral peg leg.

anonymous asked:

Have you read any fics where Viktor and Yuuri are switched? Sorta like everything is the same except Yuuri is the legend and Viktor is the untapped potential? I'm not sure if I'm making much sense. Sorry.

Thanks for these requests! This is a great AU!


Role Reversal AU


body music (reverse au) series by fan_nerd, Teen, 31k
A series of fics where yuuri is 27/28 and is victor’s coach; victor is 23/24 and has idolized yuuri. role reversal au. LOVE! Must read!

Love is a Special Sort of Power by sushicorps (Inclinant), Gen, 2.9k (WIP)
27-year-old reigning world champion and soon-to-be-coach Katsuki Yuuri’s power of love is super effective! AWESOME fic!

Saudade by AdvisedPanic, Teen, 6.6k
After an injury at the GPS that prevents his 5th consecutive win, Victor vows to return to skating to reclaim his title. Katsuki Yuuri is a ballet danseur who suffered a similar injury years before and made a successful comeback. Yuuri choreographs and coaches Victor through his toughest competitive season yet, but as it will always be, they fall in love along the way. Great role reversal AU!

Strut by Panny, Mature, 15k (WIP)
All Victor had ever wanted was to skate on the same ice as his idol, Yuuri Katsuki, as an equal. All Yuuri wanted was to be a figure skating hermit and ignore the world. Thumbs up!

Constellations (Things You Left Unsaid) by DasWarSchonKaputt, Teen, 28k
Role reversal au, wherein Yuuri is a figure skating legend in the making - mostly made, or so they say - who decides to take a season off at the peak of his career, and Victor is the runaway international student from Russia who joins his university and cons Yuuri into becoming his coach. Definitely recommend!

Victor On Ice by Artdefines06, Gen, 19k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov won’t be skating this season. What was Yuuri supposed to do now? Must read!

I Want to Skate like Him by IdunAurora, Mature, 27k
At age 27, five time consecutive world figure skating champion Yuuri Katsuki decides to retire. He has barely made it home to Hasetsu before he finds an eager and all too enthusiastic silver-haired Russian on the doorstep of Yu-Topia Akatsuki, demanding Yuuri to coach him. LOVE!

A Sequence for You by wisia, Teen, 4.7k (WIP)
Yuuri Katsuki retired from ice skating without any medals or breaking any records. It’s fine. He couldn’t have made it anyway. So, why was Victor Nikiforov asking him to be his coach? Highly recommend!

Allegro Appassionato! : A Yuri!!! on Ice Role Reversal AU series by Daughter of Vayu (aquaregia), Teen, 11k
There was a man who took the figure skating world by storm. There was a man who toppled the living legend, and was crowned as the Ice Prince. And the man disappeared, no one ever heard from him again. Until a video was posted on YouTube, and Yuri Plisetsky took off to Japan. Great role reversal AU!

On Ice, Yuri!!! by octothorpe, Gen, 4.8k (WIP)
Yuuri Katsuki’s winning routine always involved the following steps: receive the gold medal and bouquet, smile at the cameras, and graciously thank his supporters. Instead of participating in the after-podium charade, he finds himself at emergency step number four: take refuge in a bathroom stall to quell the beginnings of an anxiety attack. Can’t wait for more!


The awesome role reversal gif is created by @angelshawke! Check out their blog!

Writing Is Hard

Summary: Dean finds the blog you use to read smutty fan fiction. And of course, he decides he can write a better story about himself. You help.

Warning: Smut, some dirty talk, mutual masturbation, all kinds of fan fiction clichés

Word Count: 4350

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And thanks to @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ for being a great beta and being generally flawless. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


No. This isn’t happening.

This is one of those moments you’d had weird nightmares about, dreams that left you embarrassed and feeling all icky the next day until you finally convinced yourself that it wasn’t real. And just like those moments, this one will end any second now. You’ll wake up in some motel bed, Dean will be in the next room with Sam, asleep or showering or eating or anything but standing over your laptop with that look on his face.

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The Friendly Wager (Part 6)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 4,608 (went really overboard)

Warnings: language, lots of bad language, fluff, sarcasm, drinking, implied drunkenness, angst, regret, hangover, confrontation, stupid feelings are stupid yeah?

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?

Second to last part! Tags are closed. I loved all your messages so much!

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

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Patrolling a new Town

A little Background: I made a Wizard in a 5e game. Starting at level 6, he is a master interrogator. Hold Person to immobilize, tie up the recipient with 10ft of chain, manacles, and a masterwork lock with a DC of 20 Detect Thoughts to find out what I want to know, and failing that, their deepest, darkest fear If I needed to find their fear, Phantasmal Force to create it for them and only them. Proceed to make them scream out anything and everything they know out of pure terror/humiliation. I am a naturally untrusting person, so in a new town I usually cast Detect Thoughts for surface thoughts of everyone who passes by 

DM - You just entered the Town of Purga which the rogue you basically turned into a sniveling lump of sadness told you your tome is. There’s a meeting in the town square currently.

Me- I go to the town square and ask what’s going on.

DM (As random commoner) - *Rogues name* has been missing for a week and we can’t find him. We’re all gathered here because he was supposed to return with a very powerful tome.

Me (OOC) - I cast Detect Thoughts)

DM - He’s worried about the rogue. Do you want to delve deeper? He’ll know then if you’re doing that to him.

Me - No I want to read everyone’s surface thoughts. I’m on patrol right now.

DM - You’re what? 

Me - I’m on Thought Patrol now

Everyone in my game immediately loses their shit for the next 10 minutes

anonymous asked:

one thing you love about link and sidon? i love links dorky smile and i lovvvee sidons cat-like snoot!

oh heck. 

What’s not to love?! 

Also, are we talking in terms of canon or widely accepted headcanons in the fandom? And is this on individual terms or in their couple terms? Because I could go on for miles with each one. In fact, I think I will! 

Canon Link

- his cute little smile when he’s cooking and peering over the cooking pot

- his puns. His terrible puns. Is he sealious right now?

- how god damn sassy he is in general. (”I want to set things on fire!!”) (*casually goes up and tries to steal the thunderhelm and his excuse is that he wants it*)

- the fact that enough people comment on his nudity and that it was programmed into the game to suggest that Link would definitely do this more often if he could

- his cute little giggles when he’s bouncing on the water bed

- his lack of giving a fuck about gender norms 

- The very heavy implication that Link knows a shitload of languages, despite being mute

- Everyone either knowing what Link is saying based on his facial expressions or everyone in Hyrule just being fluent in Sign Language so Link can communicate easily

Fandom Link

- TWITCHY LITTLE EARS~~~~ <3 

- Selectively mute but still cusses the fuck out of monsters when he gets frustrated 

- (this goes in a different section but is still related: Sidon being so shook when he hears Link using bad words for the first time)

- The bad puns and Dad Jokes intensified 

- THE SASS INTENSIFIED

- Link being very musically inclined

- Like. No, here me out. He carves his own ocarina to take with him. The music you hear on the soundtrack is the music he wrote on his journey because that was one of the few things he did remember was his love of music

- Link filling his house with a shitload of refurbished instruments. Pianos, violins, you name it, he probably fixed it up and owns it now

- JUST GIVE ME MUSICAL LINK WHO USES SONG TO COMMUNICATE HIS LOVE FOR SIDON IT’S ALL I NEED

- Tbh I love everything about Link, Canon and Fandom. 

Canon Sidon

- The Fourth Wall Break

- His motivational speeches (we all need a smol Sidon to cheer us on, let’s be real here)

- The pride he takes for being unstoppable in the water

- Yet the fact that he still allows him to be vulnerable in the times that he misses his sister the most

- Also the fact that he doesn’t deny to Link that he was taking a moment to miss his sister if he gets caught

- That boopable snoot

- THE DORKY LITTLE MARCH HE HAS WHEN HE’S WALKING AROUND THE DOMAIN. HE LOOKS SO PROFESSIONAL AND STRONG. YOU GO SIDON. YOU GO BOIYO.

Fandom Sidon

- HIS TAIL WAGS

- LOOKIT THAT TAIL GO WHEN HE SEES LINK HE IS SO HAPPY

- Sidon making snorting and grunty noises like a cat or some other animal and it’s purely subconscious but it also immediately gives away his mood and it’s precious

- Related, but Sidon’s gills poofing out like a cat when he gets startled. I know that that can’t anatomically happen considering what little muscle in gills actually exists and how it’s supposed to move but STILL

- His pupils getting either really really big or really really small. You could say it’s a predatory response or he’s very excited to see Link again. You choose.

- I’ve seen this in some fic but idk how widely accepted it is but…Sidon being afraid of horses

- Related, this is entirely my own doing but I will go down with this headcanon: Sidon being a book worm. He’s read every single book in the royal library cover to cover. Link can’t keep resupplying him fast enough because he just plows through the story in one sitting. If there are languages within the books that are completely made up, Sidon teaches himself that language because he’s a fucking NERD

SidLink

- Sidon taught himself Sign Language at a very young age so he could talk to Link

- Sidon has been in love with Link since pre-Calamity, he just wasn’t aware

- Sidon is very traditional when it comes to courting. Link is very much not. 

- Everyone knowing that Link and Sidon are helplessly in love with each other except for them

- The first song Link composes after defeating Ganon is Sidon’s Song

- The first time Sidon visits Hateno, Link puts on a little concert for him. Sidon’s Song he saves for the finale

- L I N K I S B I G S P O O N 

- I don’t care that Sidon is twice his height, Link is and will do his damn best to be the best fucking big spoon there ever was

- Sidon fucking LOVES IT

- Sidon hugs are best hugs

- Link hugs kind of crush Sidon’s lungs a little bit

- Holy fuck Link is strong

- Link just casually bench presses Sidon when bored. Shark Prince swoons helplessly

- Link is the best cook. Sidon is fucking terrible. No amount of cooking lessons are helping Link’s poor shark bf. 

- They like to float down rivers and stuff together, but every. Single. Time. Link gets a wild hair up his ass to try to swim and out swim Sidon. And every. Single. time. Sidon has to save this dumbass because he runs out of stamina and nearly drowns. 

- Sidon can dish out compliments but he cannot take. Link loves watching Sidon’s face turn redder than the top of his head when complimented. 

In which I seduce the villain of a side quest

Context: So this is the same Mae Gjallarfjall who seduced the pirate captain on the first game. In a later session, we have arrived at the capital of Fountland, which will serve as our base of operations for most of the campaign. The party decided to run some sidequests to make some cash and possibly find some loot. So we pick two bounties that are the opposite of each other. One is a dude who wants help fighting off an army of 5000 people, and the other is the army of 5000 looking for more help. Our way of completing both was… unusual.

DM: So, you guys arrive at the camp of five thousand men. One of them turns to you guys and asks “Who the fuck are you?”

Me (OOC): I pull out the job poster and tell him I’m looking for his leader.

DM: He points you the right way and wishes you luck.

Me (OOC): We continue on to the tent and I walk in without announcing myself.

DM: You find Meb in her tent, barely clothed and sitting on a throne made of men. She looks at you as you approach.

Me (OOC): I roll Persuasion to sway my hips seductively as I continue forward. *rolls +2 and ties Meb’s Initiative check*

DM: She raises an eyebrow at you and smiles. She greets you and demands that you state your business.

Me: *holding up her Help Wanted poster* I came to see about your job offer. You have five thousand men at your disposal against a single enemy, and yet you cannot best him? Why?

DM (as Meb): Ah, yes, I and my… rival, shall we say, have a contract in place. I’m only allowed to send one soldier per day.

Me: And for what ends?

DM (as Meb): To steal a cow.

Me: What’s so special about this cow? Can’t you just buy it from him? If you have the money for an army, surely you can buy a cow.

DM (as Meb): It’s a really nice cow. And he won’t sell it to me.

Me: Well, if you haven’t already sent your soldier for the day, I’ll go next and end this whole feud.

DM (as Meb): I like the sound of that. For now, find yourself a tent and rest up for the night. He’s tougher than you may think.

The rest of the party salutes and turns to leave.

Me (OOC): As I turn and walk out, I roll Persuasion again to sway my hips. *Rolls +3 and successfully seduces Meb*

DM (as Meb): Except you. *pointing at me* You stay. You’ve caught my eye… What’s your name, hun?

Me: Name’s Mae Gjallarfjall. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

DM (as Meb): Oh, we’re going to be far more than mere “acquaintances.“ (OOC): Roll Initiative.

Me (OOC): *critfail*

DM to me: You fail to notice her grab a whip from her throne as she steps towards you.

The rest of the party, meanwhile, comes up with a plan to con Meb by disguising Paladin’s horse as the beautiful cow. In the morning, McCooly (the dude with the cow) would feign loss and run away with the real cow, giving the horse to Meb as per the feud contract. I, however, was getting laid, so I missed all of this.

DM: It is morning! Cocka-doodle-doo! The cow says "Moo!” McCooly is waiting in his usual spot just between his ranch and Meb’s camp. Mae, you wake up very sore but strangely refreshed.

Me: Welp, time to take care of this job. (OOC): Doot doot doot. I head out to where McCooly is.

DM: He charges you with a very predictable path at a very slow speed, and winks at you. Initiative.

Me: *+2 Initiative, +3 Block*

DM: You successfully block. He says “Oh no, you are so fast! How did you ever see my attack coming?”

Me (OOC): I punch him right in the face with Storm Fist. *Rolls +2 for contact and +5 for damage, fail the stun chance, but land the cooldown reset*

DM: He looks at you funny and whispers at you “What are you doing, you’re supposed to go easy!” He then swings his spear at you again. It is very easy to read.

Me (OOC): *+1 Initiative* I notice, and +2 Block.

DM: You block again, and he says “Well, I guess I don’t have to hold back either.” He’s trying to shiv you with the spear. Initiative.

Me (OOC): *Same rolls as lats time.*

DM: You do NOT block, and you get shivved for 7 damage.

Me (OOC): That’s 3 after armor, I take it as HP. My turn?

DM: Yes.

Me (OOC): I’m going to poke him right under the jaw in that soft spot between the bone.

DM: I guess that counts as Bare Knuckle. Roll.

Me: *connects and does 5 damage* And now, I spend a fate chip to instantly reset the cooldown of Fist of Havoc, and I’m Smashing. *rolls 36 damage*

DM: …aw… why? You killed McCooly. He’s like, the coolest NPC ever, man.

Me (OOC): Afterwards I roll First Aid to keep him from being completely dead.

DM: So after he wakes up, he shakes your hand and compliments your strength, and hands you 90 gold to split between the three of you. He then takes the fake cow over to Meb and hands it over. Meb then tosses you an additional 90 gold to split, and blows a kiss at Mae.

anonymous asked:

So, I'm American & fairly new to the Skam fandom and unfamiliar with Norwegian anything, so I was just wondering about something. On the show they play songs in English and the characters, most notably Noora, sing American songs in English, so does this mean they also speak English and understand it? Like if I went to Norway and ran into one of them and spoke to them would they understand what I'm saying? Is it common for Norwegians to also speak English?

I have to admit me (French) and my Swedish friend had a good laugh over your ask.

I’ll answer it seriously instead of the million of ways I could sass you in the hopes it’ll help other people realise how USA-centric (and sometimes “just” English-as-a-first-language-centric) they can be.

English has been one of the most prominent world language for a while now.
It is taught in schools, as a second language, in most countries that do not have it as a first language. It is often required for someone to know English if they want to hold any job in their native country (from being a waiter to practising medicine). When two people from different countries that do not have English as a first language want to communicate, they will often do so in English: since most people speak it already.

The USA is an economic power that influences the entire world. From its politics to its pop culture, the country dominates. People in Europe often consume more media coming from the USA (and the UK) than from their own country (this is from my personal observations). We are used to hearing English.
The internet is mainly in English too, for the reasons I listed above: it’s easier for people of different nationalities to talk to each other in English. You also have more online dictionaries that translate your native tongue to English than to other languages.
When Isak googles his questions about being gay, it is in English. Because if he were to google them in Norwegian, he would get much less results. It’s as simple as that.

Everywhere you go (apart from rural areas) you’re sure to find people who will speak English. We’re knee-deep in the English language and have been since we were born.

The fact that this is news to you is a baffling show of how USA-centric Americans can be.
How were you able to live your life without realising how much your language and country influences the rest of the world?
It almost seems like other countries seem to exist more to us than to you.
Because, since we were little, we were taught that we needed to speak other languages to be understood outside of our borders. We were taught about the English and American culture in text books and in our movies and novels. (I remember making an independent bookseller in France sweat when I asked him if he knew of any funny novel not written originally in English) We watch Disney Channel shows and are supposed to understand the intricacies of the American school system and what cheerleaders even are.

So yes, people in Norway (like mostly everywhere else) speak English.
They understand English. They listen to songs in English.
English slips into their everyday language and they’ll say things like “Jesus Christ!” with an American pronunciation because they heard it so much in American movies. Things like “I read it last week” just because the phrase comes to them this way. Things like “I know what you’re playing” because, again, it comes this way naturally and maybe they heard it on a TV show and it stuck and they know the reference will be shared (or that, at least, the English will be understood).
They’ll post on Instagram in English because they’ll want their text to be understood worldwide.

See, French is my first language, and yet I wrote all of this in English without the help of a dictionary. Most of the Europeans in the SKAM fandom communicate with each other in English on the daily.

I hope this answers your question. And I hope Americans start looking outside of their borders without needing to be prompted every single time.

The Only Exception (Part 5)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,844

Warnings: language, fluff, angst, sarcasm, hot firemen, draaaamaaaa, did i mention angst? this is getting ridiculous.

A/N: Cliffhangers are mostly unintentional. I got so many ACK HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME messages that I wanted to post the next part. Warning: it’s mostly just to move the plot along.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 -

Originally posted by sebuttianstans

Keep reading

The Letter

‘If your reading this I must be dead.
Sounds so real when I actually write it like that, it’s a possibility after all. I mean this is a war. People die all the time and I guess it was my time and I’m gone.
If I’m not and you guys find this then stop reading.
There’s some things that are just rude and you should know not to go through people’s stuff.
I’m talking about you Pidge.
So if your still reading this…
I’m dead or your an ass hole (Keith).
So let’s start I guess.
I lance McLain being of sound mind and body write my last will and testament.

To Hunk. What could I possibly leave you that could even come close to repaying all you’ve done for me over the years? For all those times you talked me down at the Garrison and made sure I didn’t spend too much time alone with only my thoughts. I love buddy so I leave you my family. If I’m gone I need them to know what happened. I need them to know I did something with my life, that I made a difference.
To Pidge you little gremlin, I leave you the tree house I built in my backyard. I know you pretend to hate outdoors, but I’ve seen how you love to watch the trees, figured you’d appreciate getting one of your own and being able to connect to the wifi.
To Shiro. You were my hero, when I wanted to apply to Garrison everyone told me I couldn’t do it. That I was too stupid or too much of a screw up to make anything of myself. Watching you on the news actually go against the odds and become the youngest graduate ever… well it kept the dream alive and got me through some pretty dark times. To you I leave my sketch book. It’s filled with drawings of earth. Drawing really helped ground me when I felt too anxious to sleep, I’m sure you know what that’s like. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that actually hears you wandering the halls late at night. I hope that drawing can help you as much as it did me.
To Allura… look I know I flirted with you a lot, I’m sorry for that… I know I must sounded like such an idiot and a creep. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better paladin or friend. I leave you all my beauty products. That may sound like I only value your looks but I respect you so much for all you’ve done trying to fight this war with only the six of us as back up. I guess I’m trying to ask you to have a treat now and again, take as good a care of yourself as you do with us .
To Coran, your probably one of the biggest reasons I didn’t end up wallowing in self pity the whole time I was here. I don’t really remember my dad. He left when I was too young to remember him. But the time I spent with you made me feel like I knew what a dad was and I love you for that. I leave you the box under my bed. I filled it with memorabilia from all the good times we all spent together. Please keep adding to it and keep having good times without me.
Finally to Keith. Bet you thought I’d forgotten about you, hey Mullet? I’m not really sure what to write. We’ve been through so much together that I just don’t have the words to tell you how I feel. I just wish I had the courage to tell you that I really care about you while I was still around. Tell you that I love you. Wow that was scary to write. But getting it out and knowing that some point in the future you’ll know this is oddly liberating, like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. So yeah Mullet I love you. I love you so much that it hurts knowing that no matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve the best, you deserve the universe… because that’s what you are to me. To you I leave you the most important thing to me. Blue. I love her dearly and I know she’s gonna be sad without me, so please keep her company. She likes songs from Mama Mia and having her claws painted, I know you know will get on great.
Wow I didn’t expect to start crying while I wrote this. Putting it all in words is hard. It’s beyond hard knowing that there’s a possibility that one day I’ll be gone and you’ll just move on. That someone else will pilot Blue and take over as a paladin for me.
I just wish that our time together would never end and I would never have to say goodbye to any of you.
But despite what you guys think, I’m not an idiot. I know I’m the weakest link and that if anyone’s gonna end up dying in the line the duty it will probably end up being me.
I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore.
What matters is that you all know that your like a second family to me and that I love you all so, so much.
Goodbye.
-Lance xxx’

—————————————-

Lance put down the pen wiping his teary eyes as he read through what he had written. He had just gotten out of the healing pod after being shot in the chest by a Glara guard during a mission gone bad.
Coming that close to death made him realise that he didn’t want to just go without knowing the people he loved knew how much he cared about.

There was a soft knocking at the door “hey Lance dinners ready” Hunk called.
“Be there in a minuet.” Lance replied folding the page and hiding the letter under his bed resting on top of his memory box. He opened the door and smiled at Hunk who took in his puffy red eyes and didn’t hesitate to give the smaller paladin a hug. “Homesick bud?”
Lance chuckled glancing back at the letter “yeah… something like that.”

Teased (Simon Request)

“And we are back. Another game of Cards Against Humanity” Vikk intros the video which you hear through the headphones in the Skype call you were on.
“Right what’s the only thing Simon dreams about?” You begin, smiling quickly to your camera.
You lived with Josh, Vikk, JJ and Simon in their house which people always loved since you had become one of their best friends and eventually a YouTuber.
“Oh god why isn’t their a card that just says (y/n)?” Josh groans and you can only imagine the pink dust that would scatter Simon’s cheeks.
Your room was only next to his. And the pair of you seemed to share this strange feeling towards each other that neither of you would admit was there but was evident to all of the boys. And it seemed to affect Simon more. He became flushed whenever they mentioned it, had to break eye contact with you whenever they made a joke about it. He couldn’t resist and it made you think he was even more adorable every single time…
The cards are shown and you can tell the majority of them are about you.
“(Y/n) filming a video. Enough said” You read out with a sigh, “(y/n) being in Simon’s mind so much he doesn’t need porn”
Ethan cackles and you could tell it was evidently his card.
The rest of the three cards are two about you and the final a generic funny card not about you. Simons.
“His face is probably as red as his hair” Josh chuckles.
“Fuck off Josh” You laugh, shifting to lift one leg onto your chair.
Its then that you realise that you are still wearing Simon’s grey jumper. He loved it but you had stolen it earlier when the house was too cold.
You grab your phone quickly after playing your card for the round and type a message to him. If you said it aloud the boys would make some joke about how cute you were. And texting meant that adorable little smirk tickled his lips.
‘Hey Nim! So about your jumper…’
“Come on Simon play a fucking card!” JJ yells down his mic.
Simon obviously quickly clicks onto one as you can see he’s read your message instantly.
‘I spent a fucking hour looking for that😂 Just don’t leave your shitty smell on it alright?’
‘Don’t worry it still smells of Lynx😏’
You look up to see the boys are waiting for your response again
“Guys what the fuck is taking you so long?” Ethan questions before you quickly play the card you planned.
“Jesus Christ calm down!” Simon scoffs, playing his card too, “Just waiting for the right moment”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vikk asks inquisitively
“Yeah Simon, you finally gonna give in and ask her out?” Ethan chuckles.
“Fuck off guys, I’m talking about the cards” He rolls his eyes before reading out the cars on his screen, “What is Simon’s favourite thing about (y/n)?”
You go to click on a rude card before you realise he is typing.
'Certainly not when she steals my clothes’
You chuckle to yourself and watch as Simon evidently turns back to his screen since he is now involved in the conversation with the boys.
“I didn’t have a card that says everything”
You roll your eyes and reply, to his message, 'I don’t see you complaining too much…’
“Honestly guys do you need some time alone or some shit?” Josh exclaims, they were waiting for you two to play the card again.
“Hang on a second I’ll be back in a bit” JJ comments and you expect that he needs to pee or something.
Until you hear footsteps up the spiral staircase and eventually near your door. You turn around and he has walked up behind you.
“What the fuck are you-” You start until he closes your game on your screen and lifts you from your chair, throwing you over his shoulder.
Before you can say anything else, he carries you the short distance to Simon’s room and drops you down on the extra gaming chair beside him.
“Now your next to each other you can stop all this weird bullshit” He glares between the pair of you before walking out.
You glance to Simon and chuckle, hearing the same reaction from him.
“Alright guys looks like we’re a team now” Simon mentions into the microphone.
“What the fuck did you do Jide?” Vikk asks.
“I just dropped off his babygirl. My man needs a bit of help sometimes” JJ comments.
“Calm down JJ I don’t think he’s your man anymore. (Y/n)’s taken that from you” Ethan giggles.
“Alright shall we begin again?” Josh claps.
“Can I just point one thing out about you two?” JJ questions quickly.
You and Simon both roll your eyes and sigh, “Fine”
JJ clearly moves a lot closer to his mic before saying, “She’s wearing his clothes guys”
And you didn’t even need to be there to see the excitement on all of their faces. And certainly their eruption of excitement on the call…