or how to breakup with your boyfriend

dear someone,

i have so many questions i want to ask you but just don’t know how. and because i know for a fact that my voice would break and tears would start streaming down my face if i were to ask you in person, i am writing you this letter. furthermore, i don’t think that you would even listen to me. these days you seem to be ignoring me as if i’m your worst enemy.

how? that would be my first question.
how was it so easy for you to go? to just leave me and not even look back.
why?
why would you leave and why would you leave like that? no explanation. no real goodbye. nothing.
was it even real? what we had, i mean. was it? because i’ve been dreaming so much about you lately that it seems like i can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore.

love, i wish you didn’t shatter my heart. i wish you didn’t make all these promises just to break them. i wish that you could have been honest with me from the beginning. honest about your intentions and your feelings for me.
the last time we were standing in front of each other, looking into your brown eyes made my knees go weak and my heart beat faster. how can someone feel so much and the other just not? i guess i’ll never know because i tend to give people all of me. always. with you it was no different. i gave you all of me, made you my favourite person in this shitty world and hoped that i would be your favourite too.

but this is farewell, my love. i hope that a part of you never forgets me. no matter how important i really was to you. i hope that wherever life takes you, it takes you someplace happy. you deserve it, i’m sure of that.

Love always,
e.

—  e.s. // dear someone.

It’s strange how love can make you feel like you can conquer the world but also make you feel worthless and broken.

It’s strange how those little butterflies in your stomach can bring a smile on your face or let tears roll down your cheeks.

It’s strange how the best feeling in the world can make you insane.

—  First thing I thought of upon waking up

It’s okay to care about someone you used to love.

It’s okay to wonder how they are doing without wanting them back in your life.

It’s okay to take a long time to move on from them. 

It’s okay to feel hurt when they move on sooner than you expected.

It’s okay to miss parts of them that your new partner lacks. 

It’s okay to have baggage from your relationship with them.

It’s okay to miss them.

It’s okay.

It’s all okay.

You know if your girlfriend asks you to hold her hand or buy her flowers, its never really about those things. its about how she wants to feel special every once in a while. she wants to be taken by surprise. she just wants to feel loved. Its about those thing. so hold her hand in public unexpectedly or get her flowers without telling her today.
—  I hope he buys you flowers and holds your hand.
I didn’t fall for you because you spoke perfectly, I fell for you because you stuttered every time you were excited.
I didn’t fall for you because you were kind, I fell for you because you’d put me before yourself; you’d always be by my side.
Nor did I fall for your adoring smile,
I fell for you because you’d laugh at all my jokes; regardless if they were terrible.
I didn’t fall for your deep, fruity voice,
I fell for the stories you’d tell of your childhood, the times you’d talk about me and how much you were absolutely in love.
I didn’t fall for your dark brown eyes either,
I fell for they way they’d look at me when I spoke about all the things I was passionate about.
I didn’t fall in love you because you were perfect, I fell in love with you because you were you.
—  a.a.
“perfectly imperfect” m.k.j.
My darling, he is just a boy. How can he possibly begin to appreciate the constellations you leave in your wake, or the stardust in your bones, when he has yet to realize just what it means to be in love with a girl like you?
—  Nikita Gill
How to let go of your ex once and for all (even if it feels impossible)

It took me nearly 3 years to get over my ex boyfriend. If you have ever been through a breakup, you know it is one of the hardest most heart-wrenching things to go through.

After weeks of fighting, the day came where there was no other option than to break up. When he left my house that day I felt like he had ripped off a piece of my soul. I had loved this man with all my heart, it was a raw all consuming intense kind of love. I couldn’t grasp the reality of what had happened. My best friend came over and I was just lying there with lykke li’s song possibility on repeat. I had cried for hours and there was no life left in my eyes. 

For the first few months after the breakup I was in denial and I went into party mode, but not dealing with the pain slowly started to take its toll. And eventually (also because of some other factors) I fell into a deep black depression that would last for about a year. After the depression it still took me a long time to completely let him go.

It was the hardest and most valuable experience of my life.

So what helped me to let him go?

Keep reading

HAPPIER

HAPPIER | PETER PARKER X READER

based off of an Ed Sheeran’s song, Happier

Feel free to listen to it while reading to amp up you emotion level.

(A/N); Look who manage to put out a story again!!! For the first time, I’ve written a song inspired one-shot, so forgive me if it’s not so good. I’m not super proud of some parts in here, you’ll understand why. I did have to change up a little part of the song to fit the story better, you’ll see it when you reach it. Hope you enjoy! (Also, hmu if ya wanna be tagged in my future posts)

Warnings; a single swear word (I think), and a huge amount of angst

Word Count; 2964


‘Don’t do this—’

‘I’m doing this for you.’

You shook you head, tears rolling down your eyes. 

‘No, Peter. You’re doing this for you.’


Peter had to break up with you. By having you involve in his Spider-Man life—it’s too dangerous. Too dangerous for yourself and everyone around you. He didn’t want to risk hurting you in any possible way.

But, in the end, this did hurt you.

Keep reading

This is how you get over him/her. At first, you don’t. You sit in your bed crying and wishing you could go back to the good old days. You spend hours analysing where it all went wrong, trying to convince yourself to delete the photos of the two of you but you can’t bring yourself to. Then, eventually, you get tired of crying yourself to sleep and you realise they’re not coming back. You can listen to their favourite song when you’re at a party, you can start talking to other boys. You download and delete tinder at least 20 times. You give up trying to rekindle it. It’s dead. You don’t water flowers after they’ve died, do you? 

Slowly but surely, you learn to live without them. You can wear the same outfit you wore on your first date with them on a date with someone else and you feel like you’re going to vomit but you know it’s not because you want them back. You can kiss other people with a passion and let them touch you where he/she did without thinking of them anymore. You finally learn to listen when other people tell you you’re beautiful. Surely enough, you learn to love yourself and everyone else around you, and you learn to love again.

—  how to learn to love again
Fake Dating Series; Joshua/Jisoo

- you’re studying in the library of your university with your friends jeonghan and seungcheol and everything’s going well like you’re actually surprised you’re getting work done with these two together and it’s all quiet and peaceful
- but then jeonghan opens his mouth
- and he’s like “oh (name)…… so i know this guy who—“
- you’re like “not this again omfg jeonghan SHUT UP I’M PERFECTLY FINE BEING SINGLE”
- seungcheol joins in and he’s like “(name) come on!!! you’re going to like this guy he’s so your type”
- basically they’ve been trying to set you up with someone because they don’t want you to be alone once they leave
- jeonghan and seungcheol have pretty much been your only friends since entering uni and they’re graduating that sem while you have one more year to go and they don’t want you to be all by yourself ISN’T THAT CUTE
- but you’re perfectly fine living the single life and you don’t need a bf but they’re like NOPE WE WANT YOU HAPPY WHILE WE’RE GONE WE WANT SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU WHILE WE CAN’T
- you end up arguing with them to the point the librarian kicks all of you out because you’re all too loud and well there goes your studying
- they keep annoying you but you keeping refusing and they finally give up and you’re like THANK YOU
- seungcheol’s like “fine you’re paying for dinner then” and honestly you couldn’t care less because you’re not going on a blind date…
- …or so you thought.
- you get to the restaurant where you were supposed to meet jeonghan and seungcheol but WOW SURPRISE THEY’RE NOT THERE
- instead, a person you’ve never met in your life is sitting at the table reserved for “s.coups” seungcheol’s stupid nickname
- you’re like I CANNOT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THIS
- while you’re internally raging and plotting your friends’ deaths, the boy at the table looks up from the menu and locks eyes with you and your heart skips a beat
- he has. the most. gorgeous eyes you’ve ever seen and not going to lie he’s really cute and you’re like oh wow they weren’t kidding when they said he was your type in terms of looks
- but then you snap out of your daze because you’re angry at your friends
- you sit down and say “alright. jeonghan and seungcheol. sound familiar?” and all he says is “blind date” and you say “yeah”
- the boy runs his hand through his hair and sighs “i should’ve expected this” and his hair gets all messy and cute and you’re like don’t do that
- you say “i’m REALLY sorry about this” and he just smiles like “no worries it’s jeonghan and seungcheol like of course they’d pull something like this”
- you laugh and say “right? i swear, one day i’m going to get back at them” and the boy laughs “me too”
- but then his eyes widen and he looks up at you and says “……hey. i have an idea.”
- you look at him like what is it and he says “do you really want to get back at them?” and you ask “what do you mean??”
- he says “I MEAN…… we PRETEND to date. we trick them into thinking their plan worked and then we break up IN FRONT OF THEM like REAL BAD, that’ll teach them to quit setting us up on blind dates”
- and you just stare at him like… did this angel just say the evillest thing
- but you like the plan so you smirk and say “okay, sounds good. let’s do it.”
- the boy reaches out his hand and says “i’m joshua by the way. it’s nice to meet you”
- you shake his hand and say “i’m (name). nice to meet you too, boyfriend.”
- you two end up actually having dinner at the restaurant but the whole time you guys are just laughing and talking about how this whole thing is going to go
- unknown to you guys, jeonghan and seungcheol are watching your interaction from a distance and they high-five in victory because they think they succeeded
- by the end of the night you and joshua exchange phone numbers and schedules, and you both plan the entire thing. the breakup is set to be at the end of the sem so in about four months
- when you both go up to pay, you’re reaching for your wallet, but joshua stops you and says “if i’m going to be your pretend bf for the next four months, i should at least act the part well” and you say “what?? no no it’s fine you don’t have to do all this if it’s just pretend” and he just smiles and pays
- actual gentleman joshua hong everyone
- you guys ended up staying later than expected at the restaurant so it’s really dark by the time you guys get out
- your dorms are on the same side of campus and yours is a little further, but this is JOSHUA so he walks you all the way there
- while walking, you guys decide to tell each other a few things about each other and you find out you guys actually have so much in common???
- you get so into your conversation with joshua that by the time you reach your room, you’re disappointed by how short the walk was
- you say “well this is my room. thanks for walking me back” and joshua says “it’s no problem. so….. since we’re “dating” now and all….. do you want to go eat out for lunch tomorrow?”
- and you smile and say “sure!! this is perfect actually because i usually eat lunch with seungcheol and jeonghan so i can invite them along and we could tell them about how we’re “dating” and all”
- joshua laughs and says “i can’t wait to see their reaction by the end of this” and you just laugh “me too”
- joshua says “well, i’ll be going now. good night and see you tomorrow!!” and you say good night to him as well before entering your room and going to bed
- the next day, after your morning classes, joshua texts you “hey! :) i’m right outside your building. seungcheol and jeonghan are here too” and you’re like omg he used a smiley face he’s so cute LOL
- you go outside and see the three of them waiting for you so you run up to them, and they each greet you
- seungcheol and jeonghan both have smirks on their faces and when joshua says he’ll be right back, they both go up to you and say “sooo we heard you guys are dating!!” and you laugh “yeah…. i actually had a good time with joshua last night at the restaurant. you guys were right when you said he was my type”
- seungcheol gasps and says “joshua said that too!! i swear you guys are meant to be. jeonghan, we chose well.”
- jeonghan pretends to wipe away a tear and says “my baby’s growing up”
- when joshua comes back, you three go to a restaurant near campus just to have a quick lunch together, when seungcheol and jeonghan tell you guys they “have to go hand in an assignment” and you’re like OOOKAY RIGHT
- when they leave you turn to joshua and say “you think they’re convinced?” and joshua says “yeah. they are.”
- seungcheol and jeonghan actually do believe it at first, but after about three weeks…… they start getting a bit suspicious
- you and joshua don’t hold hands or kiss or do any of those couple stuff, you guys don’t even HUG
- you just tell them you’re shy because your relationship just started but you’re both starting to panic because NO THE PLAN CAN’T BE RUINED WE HAVE TO GET BACK AT THEM
- one day, you exit your class to see joshua waiting for you outside the door and he does his cute eye smile when he sees you
- he walks up to you and says “i told seungcheol and jeonghan we’re going on a date tomorrow. i was kinda thinking that we DO go on one since they’ll probably follow us around to see for themselves…. you know….?” and you say “oh, you’re right!! this would definitely convince them!!”
- the next day, you find yourself rummaging through your entire closet looking for something cute to wear but you’re like wait
- why?? it’s just joshua??
- but then you convince yourself that you’re doing this for seungcheol and jeonghan….. like it’s just to make it look like you’re actually trying…… right……
- you dress up and before leaving your dorm, you take one last look in the mirror to see how you look and then you leave to go meet up with joshua outside the building
- you spot him leaning against a tree and his hair is blowing in the wind and his skin looks so dewy under this bright sun
- just wow….. he looks like a model….
- and your heart may or may not have skipped a beat
- when joshua spots you, he pushes himself off the tree and he walks over to you, and you quickly compose yourself because you’re pretty sure you were gaping at him
- he gives you one of his deadly eye smiles and says “(name)!! how are you? you look really nice” and your ears are burning but you ignore it and answer “oh thanks, just…. threw on anything, you know……”
- joshua grins “so, ready for our date?” and you’re like asjhlaks DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT but he’s like ??? but it is a date ???
- you ask “where are we going??” and he says “well, i was just thinking of spending a simple day in the city…… you know, street food, shopping, and other stuff we find on the way?? omg i hope that’s not too boring for you i’m so sorry you probably have to go study and—”
- you cut him off by laughing and he just looks at you and says “uhhh did i say something funny??” and you reply “joshua, our date hasn’t even started and you’re already worrying”
- and he laughs and says “my bad…. alright, so are you ready to go?” and you nod your head
- you both take the bus to the city and the date…… is surprisingly going well???
- joshua takes you to this little family restaurant and the food is so good, you’re like omg joshua you have to stop me or i’ll end up ordering the entire menu
- you expected it to be awkward because…. an ENTIRE day with him?? you’re going to run out of things to say
- but no. joshua’s so talkative and there’s never been an awkward silence the entire meal
- when you both finish, you take out your wallet to pay but joshua tells you it’s fine because of coURSE
- “joshua, we aren’t even dating for real, you really don’t have to do this”
- “i invited you out today and you probably have homework to catch up on, this is the least i could do for you”
- you guys walk a little further down the street after leaving the restaurant to see that there’s a street market going on
- and while joshua’s looking through a bunch of cute keychains and plushies, you notice two people looking at you from the corner of your eye
- you subtly turn in that direction and see two people rush behind a stand of mangoes and you’re like really, seungcheol?? really, jeonghan?? i saw you guys
- joshua notices you looking somewhere and he follows your gaze, but instead of focusing on the two heads popping out from behind the stand, he thinks you’re looking at this handsome boy buying street food
- and he gets this look in his eyes
- he quickly takes your hand in his and when you look up at him in surprise, he smiles and says “don’t pay attention to them, only look at me”
- and you’re surprised of course but you’re also like…. come on, snap out of it, he’s just doing this because he saw seungcheol and jeonghan
- but for the rest of the date
- he doesn’t let go of your hand
- you guys spend the day shopping around, and joshua even gets you guys cute matching bracelets
- “you’re getting too into this fake dating stuff”
- “but it’s two for one!!!!”
- at the end of the day, you and joshua take the bus back to get to school and then you realize……. you’re still holding hands…..
- out of embarrassment, you let go and joshua’s like ??? and you say “ohhh uh i think they gave up on following us….. hahah…..”
- and joshua’s cheeks turn pink and he’s like right!!! i’m sorry!!!
- you guys sit next to each other, and you find yourself slowly dozing off as you both wait for your stop
- at some point you black out, but when you open up your eyes again….. you realize you’re resting your head on joshua’s shoulder
- you stop yourself from jumping up and instead take this opportunity to observe his features and….
- he really is good-looking. his cute eye smile, his warm smile, his soft skin….
- you close your eyes again because you feel your face getting warm, and two stops later, joshua shakes your shoulders to wake you up
- he softly says “(name), wake up, our stop’s next” and you pretend you just woke up
- and you’re like wow his voice too how unfair
- when you get off the bus, joshua walks you back to your dorm and you say “how much do you want to bet jeonghan and seungcheol are going to text me the second i step into my room?”
- joshua says “i don’t think they will….. i think they’ll attack you in person instead” and you say “what are you talking about, no way will they be able to wait that long”
- then joshua says “alright then, it’s a bet. loser pays for the next date” and you say “YOU’RE ON”
- you both reach your room, and joshua says good night before leaving. you feel kind of bad since he has to walk an extra few mins to get to his, so right before he’s out of view, you say “joshua”
- he turns around and says “yeah?” and you say “i say this a lot but….. you really don’t have to walk me back every time” and he just smiles and says “it’s fine. i just want to make sure you’re safe”
- when you enter your room, you just smile at his words because how could someone be so kind???
- your roommate says “you’re looking really happy. did something happen??” and you say “what?? no…… not at all”
- after changing into your pyjamas and plopping onto bed, you receive a text from seungcheol “HOW WAS YOUR DATE”
- you win
- dates become a regular thing, you and joshua go out every friday night or saturday, and he also picks you up after each one of your classes
- holding hands becomes so natural, it’s not even awkward at all when you guys have to in front of jeonghan and seungcheol
- this whole fake dating thing is going just as planned
- but then something goes wrong
- you fall for joshua
- this wasn’t supposed to happen
- but just one look from him sends your whole world spinning, when you hold hands with him you never want to let go, and just being with him makes you so happy
- it makes you sad knowing all this is going to end in not too long
- before you now it, you guys only have three weeks left before the breakup
- while eating out with him, you say “alright, so what did you tell them?” and joshua says “i said that you’re giving me too much attitude nowadays”
- you say “perfect, i keep telling them that you’re getting so clingy that it’s starting to annoy me. i also said we’ve been fighting lately” and joshua says “we still have to meet up secretly to plan the huge fight” and you say “ohhh you’re right”
- you guys meet up to practice but you realize….. that joshua’s WAY too nice
- “joshua, you have to talk back to me”
- “but what if i say something that makes you sad????”
- “this is pretend I KNOW YOU DON’T MEAN IT”
- it gets so bad to the point that you guys actually have to write a SCRIPT to follow
- the day of the breakup is here, and you and joshua are supposed to go out with seungcheol and jeonghan
- you decide to meet up in their dorm room, and to make things seem awkward, you both go SEPARATELY
- you take a deep breath before entering the room and it takes all your willpower not to laugh when you see joshua looking away from you
- you say “hey seungcheol, hey jeonghan” and they say hi back, but they quickly realize that you didn’t acknowledge joshua
- it’s quiet, until seungcheol coughs and says “so….. we should probably head to that restaurant now…..”
- and you say “sure, just make sure i’m not seated next to HIM” and joshua says “i didn’t even say anything”
- seungcheol says “hey, guys, don’t ruin the night, let’s just go get some food and—”
- you say “I’M ruining the night??? he can’t even look me in the eye. how immature” and joshua retorts “immature? i’m not the one picking a fight over NOTHING”
- jeonghan says “woah joshua, that’s not like you at all” and he says “well, some people can make others change for the worst”
- you say “why don’t you just say my name, we all know you’re talking about me” and he says “you’re just going to cause trouble if i say it directly”
- seungcheol and jeonghan look at each other, and they start panicking and feeling guilty because they were the ones who got you together
- at some point, you just look at them and say “meant to be, huh?” which made them sink into their seats and feel even worse
- you and joshua follow the script word for word, and slowly it’s getting hard to control your laughter
- until
- joshua says “keep going on those blind dates.”
- you say “yeah? maybe i will.”
- “good for you then. because that’s the only way you’ll ever find someone.”
- it’s in the script. those words are in the script……. but they hurt
- you’ve only ever been on blind dates with the help of seungcheol and jeonghan but without them, would you really be able to find someone?
- are you really this….
- hopeless?
- you must’ve been quiet for some time because joshua says “(name), wait. i didn’t mean that”
- and you decide to end it there
- you say “well i meant every word i said. i was stupid for dating you….” you then turn to seungcheol and jeonghan and say “…..almost as stupid as you two for BELIEVING US LOL”
- they both say “what?? what are you talking about??”
- you start laughing hysterically and you say “WE WERE PRETENDING TO DATE”
- jeonghan says “WAIT THE WHOLE TIME??” and joshua laughs “the whole time”
- seungcheol screams “I FELT HORRIBLE THESE PAST FEW WEEKS FOR SETTING YOU TWO UP WHEN YOU STARTED “FIGHTING” HOW COULD YOU”
- and you say “GOOD THAT WAS THE POINT, I HOPE YOU NEVER LET ME GO ON ONE OF THOSE BLIND DATES AGAIN” and joshua says “SAME GOES FOR ME”
- seungcheol and jeonghan are the ones to pay for the meal that evening, and afterwards, joshua walks you back to your dorm
- before you enter your room, he says “i’m sorry for what i said, it was mean” and you say “it was part of the script, you have nothing to be sorry for lol”
- he says “just know that…. you’re a great person, and you deserve someone as great”
- his words warm your heart and you say “thanks, joshua. you too.”
- he smiles and says “well…. good night, (name). it was fun.” and you say “it was. good night, joshua.”
- the next day, after your morning class, you exit and you feel sad because
- joshua’s not there waiting for you
- why would he?
- you guys aren’t “dating” anymore…… there’s no reason for him to
- you tell yourself “it’s just like before we’ve met, everything’s back to normal”
- but you really do start feeling lonely
- because joshua isn’t there to pick you up after classes, he isn’t there to walk you back to your dorm room, he doesn’t ask you out on friday nights or saturdays, and after four months of being “together”…..
- they’re all reduced to a simple “hi, how are you?” when you catch each other around campus
- you hate it
- seungcheol and jeonghan both notice how much sadder you seem these days, but you just tell them it’s stress from school
- but it’s really because you miss joshua
- you look down at the matching bracelet you have tied around your wrist and you just think of your first date and how fun it was and how happy you felt
- one night, you’re unable to sleep so you decide to make a quick trip to the nearby convenience store
- you buy some ramyeon and water for a quick snack, and while the cashier is ringing up your items, someone taps you on the shoulder
- you turn around to see joshua and you jump in surprise
- you say “joshua?? what are you doing here??” and he holds up a box of cookies and says “just getting a snack….. i couldn’t sleep”
- the cashier tells you your total, but joshua places his cookies on the counter and pays for both of your things
- he grabs the plastic bag and exits the store before you could say anything about it, and you follow him outside
- he takes his snack out of the bag and then hands you your things, but you say “joshua, why did you pay?? how much was it?? let me pay you back”
- he says “no, it’s fine, it didn’t cost a lot anyway” and you say “you really didn’t need to, i mean…. you’re not my “boyfriend” anymore”
- you immediately regret saying that because it creates an awkward silence between you two
- until joshua asks in a soft voice
- “can i be?”
- you notice his face turn red as he continues “can i be your real boyfriend?”
- you freeze for a moment because joshua just confessed to you…… but when you regain your senses, you get up on your tippy-toes and kiss him right on the lips
- the kiss is soft and slow, and if you can kiss him like this every day….. why. not.
- when you both pull away, you tell him “yes, joshua. you can.”
- you both tell seungcheol and jeonghan that you’re official, but they don’t fall for it right away
- “nice try. do you guys think we’re THAT dumb???”
- you prove it to them by pulling joshua by the collar and kissing him, and that’s when they really both go crazy
- joshua goes back to picking you up after classes, and dates are back to being every friday night or saturday
- you notice that joshua always wears the matching bracelet you both got at the street market, and it makes you smile because you haven’t taken yours off after the “breakup” either
- seungcheol and jeonghan never shut up about succeeding in bringing you two together and they always joke about it
- but they’re really just happy that you won’t be alone anymore
- “joshua, take care of (name) for us, all right?”
- “i will. i promise.”

Whenever I see you, or even come close to you, I still can’t focus. The indigo blue of your eyes, the strength of your nose, the veins in your hands, the way you tower over everyone else around you, the way your lips curve into a smile even when you’re simply walking down the street. A part of me still wants to rush up to you and tell you how much you mean to me. How much you’ve always meant. A part of me wants to look up at you, and tell you, quite honestly, that I still think about you and I am far from recovered from the very sight of you. But then you started walking the other way when you’d see me, looking straight ahead and over me, as if even being near me was an undertaking you nonchalantly dropped from your life, and I realized it wasn’t worth it. And all my friends and all my logic reminds me of that every time I say your name. But as I walk in the spring air and hear the birds chirp, I think about how when I was at my most miserable, I’d look forward to the times when you were home so we could have our conversations about life and love and pain. When I was at my most miserable, I’d thought that by now, by spring, I’d be screaming the Black Keys while holding your hand, windows down, watching your eyes sparkle and my heart hurt from all my love for you. I thought I’d meet your family, I thought your dog would know me by my face alone, I thought I’d come out to see every single play you did just for the sole fact that I believed in the future your talent held for you. I thought I’d be laying in your arms. And that thought alone meant more to me than I ever did to you. Life is strange, though. Now that’s her job- her place at your dinner table, on your sofa, in the audience, in your arms, green eyes and sunny grin looking up at you-and it took me a while to get over the fact that that’s exactly how you wanted it all along. I was just an open, smiling source of validation and a safety net who could hold a conversation when your girlfriend wasn’t available. What a fucking joke. Your name still sounds like music when it rolls off my tongue.
—  ap 2017
how to get over someone

1. delete everything to do with them from your phone. EVERYTHING.

2. burn anything given to you.
(drawings, letters, clothes,etc.)

3. do NOT at all costs listen to those songs until you are completely over him. you know which ones im talking about.

4.work on yourself, get your nails done, workout, read books, take baths, treat yourself and better yourself as a person

5. flirt with others, be free you ARE single, dont take it for granted. rebounds are allowed/expected/necessary

6. If you do end up getting a boyfriend/girlfriend take things slow. don’t rush and don’t get attached too fast. its okay to take precaution but dont let it ruin your life.

7. LIVE YO LIFE LIKE THE HOT INTELLIGENT KIND SPUNKY PIECE OF ASS YOU ARE.

One-Night Boyfriend

Type: One Shot
Genre: Fluff, Extremely Suggestive (NO SMUT)
Member: Jeonghan
Word count: 3,390
A/N: I’m going to hell for this. *nods* I have accepted my fate.
©


You look around the overly crowded room of bodies worming past one another in attempts to pass through. The air was smoggy with the stench of smoke and alcohol. You were standing in the kitchen, near the large counter top and sink, idly searching for your friends who have long disappeared. Occasionally, you’d look down at your phone in hopes of a text message or a phone call but nothing.

Was it pathetic of you to be waiting around for your boyfriend (possibly ex,) to call you or even shoot you a small text?

You and your boyfriend had gotten into a huge argument a few nights ago where he snapped and wanted to break up. The thing is, that wasn’t exactly the first time he’s done that. He and you have gotten into countless arguments and sworn the relationship was over, but at one point he and you would make up before the cycle repeats. It was exhausting at times and during the mopey days, doubtful.

“In need of a boyfriend for the night?” A brunette male asked as he hops onto the counter.

Keep reading

Follow Your Heart

Group: BTS

Pairing: JIN X READER

Requested: Anonymous said: Could you please do a Jin x reader where the two are best friends but are secretly in love but the reader didn’t think he shared her feeling so she ended up in a relationship and she’s been with the other guy (had to shorten the request! I actually prefer more detailed request so thank you!)

Excerpt: You finally accept that your relationship will not prevent your feelings for your best friend so you decide to follow Jin’s advice and follow your heart.

Genre: fluff, angst

Length: 1.1k

A/N: Always follow cheesy quotes!

Originally posted by mauloveskpop

“Jin, we need to talk,” the text sent with a small noise causing your boyfriend who had stayed the night to stir, but in seconds he had replied saying you should come over. As you rolled out of your bed, sparing a glance at your boyfriend of almost seven months who was fast asleep and without a word, you picked up your keys from the side and left.

Keep reading

Irony

Nothing lasts forever, it’s just a matter of time.

Word Count: 1113
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader


His tall figure used to make you feel protected.

His board shoulders used to make you feel safe.

His smile used to ease you from your anxiety.

His warm hug used to make you feel loved.

His kisses used to make you feel special.

Keep reading

don’t be a fool (pt. 2)

Summary; Promises can be hard to keep, and the deal made between Y/N and Shawn is no different. With hectic schedules and new friends, things between the ex-couple certainly take a turn for the worse.

PART ONE

MASTERLIST || REQUEST


three months later

You weren’t going to lie when it came to the break-up between you and Shawn. Things were scattered everywhere and your empty apartment soon became an apparent dumpster as well. It had probably been one of the most dramatic and tiring months of your life thus far. You haven’t had the motivation to even leave your apartment let alone your bed, and everything around you only further reminded you of Shawn and the great times you two once shared together. 

After Shawn left you, you were forced to toss out anything and everything Shawn left behind. You couldn’t risk having any remaining memories of him. It wasn’t easy, but you eventually got yourself to make your apartment Shawn and heartbreak free.

You were no longer in constant contact with Shawn, and it didn’t seem as if Shawn has made the effort to call you either. Despite this, you left his contact untouched and most importantly – undeleted. Every time you heard his songs on the radio or saw an interview of him on TV, you couldn’t help but miss him even more. He left a giant hole in your heart, and it didn’t look like it would be closing up any time soon.

You also stopped going to work after the breakup, so it was inevitable for your boss to fire you. You haven’t found a new job since, which brought you to the last resort of posting flyers around your apartment complex asking for a roommate to help share rent with. A few days later, you had gotten a phone call from a guy named Cameron asking if you were still looking for a new roommate. According to Cameron, he needed an apartment so he could be closer to his filming site for his newest film. When he told you he got famous off of Vine, you almost cried all over again because it was so similar to Shawn’s story. Luckily for him, he had been the first person to call and ask, which is how you and Cameron have been living in the same apartment for the past three weeks. 

Keep reading

Crazy In Love

Originally posted by jeonbase

This is the full version of my mini fic, lil favor!

5.2k words. College!au. Min Yoongi. ft Park Jimin. Fluff.

Maybe making a deal with Yoongi to fake date for a month and do whatever he tells you to in exchange─ isn’t your brightest idea.


“Just so you know, I don’t like you.” You defiantly state.

The corner of Yoongi’s lips lifts up into a half smirk, gaze slanting your way, teasingly questioning your declaration. He tugs your intertwined hands to his side, yanking you closer to him as well until there’s hardly any space between the two of you.

“Likewise.” He says ever so calmly, it pisses you off.

You’re about to open your mouth to let a snarky remark put his smug ass in place but he beats you to it.

“You ready?”

The question brings you back to the situation at hand. Let’s see, you’ve made a deal with the devil, namely Min Yoongi who’s always been a tough competition in everything, you get the highest score in a test and he gets the highest score in your best class. Technically, asking your long term rival to pretend to be your fake boyfriend to ─how do you put it─ one up your ex, Jimin, whose presence is always graced by a group of female students after the rumor of the breakup made its way through campus, isn’t the best idea. But if it’s anyone that won’t judge you for your insecurities when you see those gorgeous girls Jimin is always seen talking to, or rather flirting with, then it would be Yoongi.

“Absolutely not.” You breathe out, eyes widening as if everything’s finally crashing down on you and hitting your square in the face with a stone brick.

“Good.” He smiles playfully, almost making you forget your purpose.

Keep reading

Secret Love Song - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 5)

Part 4

“Do you want to tell me what the hell happened to you last night?” Your friend demanded as you walked through the supermarket. 

“I texted you and told you I left,” you said grabbing some broccoli. 

“I know, but you just like disappeared and left your jacket and your unpaid tab,” she said. “So, what the hell happened? Did you freak out?” She asked. 

Technically, yes, but you didn’t want to tell her that. 

“No, I just, remember the guy I was seeing,” you said. “He was there and we talked about things and then we left together.”

“Well, why didn’t you just say that! I’m perfectly okay with the fact that you left me, knowing that you went and got you some!” she smirked. 

You blushed. “We didn’t, we haven’t exactly…” you whispered. 

“Really? It’s been what like a few weeks already right?” she asked. 

“Yeah, but I mean, we’ve been getting to know each other,” you said. “Which is what you do when you first start seeing someone besides we’re not even official yet.” 

“That makes sense,” she nodded. “So, what’s all this for anyway?” she said pointing to your cart full of food. 

“He’s uh, he’s coming to my house tonight and I’m cooking dinner,” you said. 

“Oooh, are you planning a little something special?” she smirked. 

“Oh god, no,” you laughed. “Will you stop with the sex interrogation? We haven’t even talked about going that far yet.” 

“But have you thought about it?” She asked. 

“Of course I have, I’m human aren’t I?” You said. “It’s just, you know how I am. I have to really like and care about someone before I feel comfortable to go that far.” 

“I know, remember when we tried to take you out for a one night stand after your last breakup? That was bad,” she laughed. 

“Well, it also didn’t help that the guy you happened to point out was the current boyfriend of the girl that my ex cheated on me with, and that’s how he found out about her cheating on him,” you laughed. 

“That’s true,” she laughed. “Anyway, am I ever going to meet or at least know the name of this mystery boy toy?” 

You laughed. “You will at some point, I promise, but it’s still really new.” 

“You’ve always told me when you’ve been dating someone, so what’s different with this one?” she asked. 

“it’s complicated,” you sighed. 

“Y/N! You’re not the other woman are you?” She gasped. 

“What? No, no, of course not. He’s not married or in a relationship at all,” you said. “It’s just complicated…” 

“Does it not want to be seen with you?” She asked. 

“It’s sort of the opposite,” you said. “I can’t be seen with him because of… work,” you said. 

“Wait, is it someone from work?” She gasped. “Like a coworker?” 

“No…” you said. 

“ARE YOU DATING A FAMOUS PERSON!” She shouted. 

“Oh my god, will you lower your voice,” you hissed looking around at everyone staring. 

“Sorry, it’s just a lot to take in,” she said. “Wait a minute… if it’s someone you met at work and you can’t really be seen with them…and you saw him at the club the other night… HOLY FUCKING SHIT ITS HARRY STYLES ISN’T IT?” she shouted. 

You groaned. “Sorry, she’s a bit uh… drunk,” you said to an old lady staring. 

Once everyone was away, you sighed looking at her. “Yes, okay, I’ve been seeing him,” you said. 

“Oh my god! How did you keep this information from me for so long?” she gasped. 

“Because I had to,” you sighed. “And you can’t tell anyone.” 

“Scouts honor!” she said. “I can’t believe this. This is so cool!” 

You laughed. “Come on, I’ve got everything I need.” 

“I bet you do,” she smirked. 

**

Later that night, you were getting everything ready for the dinner. Harry would be over soon and you were just finishing everything up. You had music playing in the background as you cooked. You were nervous about tonight, especially after your conversation with your friend from earlier. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you were definitely ready to take that step with him, but you wanted to wait until you knew where this was going to go. 

The doorbell rang and you knew it was Harry. You quickly washed your hands and headed over to the door. 

“Hey,” he smiled holding a bottle of wine in his hands. 

“Hey, come on in, everything is almost ready,” you smiled. 

Harry walked in and you shut the door. He gave you a quick kiss before following you into the kitchen. 

“Need any help?” He asked. 

“You can pour the wine,” you smiled. 

“Sounds good,” he smiled going over to your cabinet and getting two wine glasses. 

“How was your day?” You asked. 

“It was okay, I had a few radio interviews,” he said. 

“Oh, how did those go?” You asked. 

“Pretty good,” he smiled. “How about you? Did you go back to work today?” 

“No, I’ve been working from home,” you sighed. “I know it seems childish, but Madison just… she irks me the wrong way and I’m just afraid that she’s going to say something and I’m gonna punch her or something.”

“Now, baby, violence is never the answer,” he laughed wrapping his arms around you. “But I do think you should go back to work because the longer you’re gone, the more it looks like she won.” 

“You’re probably right,” you sighed. 

“I am right,” he smirked. 

You rolled your eyes. “Well, Mr. Right, why don’t you go set the table and I’ll bring the food in,” you laughed. 

“So, you admit I’m your Mr. Right?” he smirked. 

“I never said that,” you laughed. 

“Oh, I think you did,” he said walking over to the table. 

You laughed shaking your head. You put everything on the table and sit down. You both start eating quickly and Harry looks over at you. 

“I’m going to Paris in a few days,” he said. “I have an appearance there on a show and I was sort of wondering if you’d want to go with me?” 

“Oh, wow, I’d love to go, but would that be the best idea for us?” You asked. “I mean, how would I go with you and not be seen?”

“I guess I didn’t think about that,” he sighed. “But I mean are we supposed to hide out forever?” 

“No,” you sighed. 

“Then come with me,” he said. “It’s going to be a big appearance for me and I want my girlfriend to be there with me, plus we’ll have some time to spend in Paris and I’d love to have you there with me.” 

You stopped eating and looked up at him. “Girlfriend?” 

Harry blushed and took a sip of his wine. “I uh… well… I mean… Aren’t you?” 

“I guess, but I didn’t know we were…at that step yet…” you blushed. 

“Well, that’s sort of my fault,” he coughed. “I never did really ask you.” 

“No, you didn’t,” you laughed. “But I would say yes if you did.” 

He smiled taking your hand. “Y/N, will you be my girlfriend and come with me to Paris?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I will,” you smiled. 

He leaned into kiss you before pulling you out of your chair and into his lap. You laughed wrapping your arms around his neck and looking down at him. 

“I really like you,” he whispered. 

“And I really like you,” you whispered. 

Harry leaned into kiss you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You deepen the kiss and tightened his grip on you. You pull back a bit and turn so that you’re straddling him. He then gets up from the chair to carry you over to the couch. You both practically fall onto the couch and start laughing. 

“Oops,” he laughed. “I tripped.” 

“Way to go,” you laughed. “Now, come here.” 

He smirked and kissed you again. It didn’t take long before you found yourself unbuttoning the rest of shirt. He leaned up a bit from the couch as he helped you take off his shirt and throw it. His hands were making their way up your thighs and sides before pulling you closer to him. He pulled away from your lips and started kissing down your neck. You closed your eyes as you tilted your head to the side. 

You felt his hands at the hem of your shirt and touching the skin underneath. You pulled back from the kiss and took it off. Harry smiled and leaned up to kiss you on the lips. You put your hands on the side of his face as you smiled into the kiss. 

A half an hour later, Harry pulled away from your neck. “W-We should probably stop,” he whispered. 

“Why?” You said kissing his neck. 

“Because…as I’m sure you can tell, I’m developing a bit of a problem,” he said. 

“Oh, right,” you blushed. “But uh… we don’t have to stop,” you whispered. 

“What? I mean, are you sure? We don’t have to do anything,” he said. 

“I know, but I want to unless you don’t,” you said. 

“It’s not that I don’t because I do, trust me I do, I just don’t want you to feel like pressured or anything,” he said. “I don’t want to rush things with you,” 

“Okay, I’m confused,” you said getting off his lap and sitting next to him on the couch. 

He tried his best to rearrange himself once you got off of him. “So, you want to have sex with me, but you’re not going to?” You asked. 

He sighed grabbing a pillow and looking over at you. “Not tonight,” he said. “I want our first time together to be a bit more romantic than this,” he said pointing to the couch. 

“We can go to my bedroom, I wasn’t exactly insinuating that we do it here,” you laughed. 

“I know, but I still want it to be more romantic,” he blushed. “And I want to know that we’re both ready for this. I don’t want us to just give in to the moment and then one of us regret it the next morning.” 

“If you’re worried about me regretting it, I wouldn’t,” you said. 

“I’m glad that you wouldn’t, but still,” he smiled taking your hand. “I would feel better if it happened a different night. I hope you’re mad…” 

“Why would I be mad?” You laughed. “It’s okay, really. I understand and I see where you’re coming from and I agree. We hadn’t really talked about it and you’re right, I think we’d both feel better about taking that step when we both are on the same page.” 

He smiled. “But I promise you, it will happen soon.” 

“Looking forward to it,” you smirked. 

**

The next morning you decided that you were going to work. You got up, dressed, and headed out the door. You weren’t exactly gung-ho on going to work, but Harry was right, the longer you avoided Madison, the more she could gloat that she won. 

When you arrived at the office, Madison wasn’t there yet, and you couldn’t be happier. You went into your office and started finishing up some things that you had been working on at home. 

A few hours later, there was a knock on the door. You opened it and it was a delivery guy holding flowers. 

“Are you Y/N?” he asked. 

“I am,” you nodded. 

“These are for you,” he smiled. 

“Oh, thank you,” you said taking them from him. It was a huge bouquet of red and pink roses. You found a card and opened it.

“I figured you might need something to brighten your first day back at the office. Meet me for lunch at noon?” - H. 

You smiled widely and put the vase on your desk. You grabbed your phone and texted him that you would meet him, but only at a cafe a few blocks away from the office. 

“What’s this?” A voice said standing in your doorway. 

You turned around and saw Madison standing there. “Well, I’m not exactly sure, but I think they’re roses,” you rolled your eyes. 

“Duh, Y/N. I meant why did you buy yourself roses,” she said. 

“I didn’t buy myself roses, they were sent to me,” you said. 

“But who?” She scoffs. 

“None of your business,” you said. 

“No need to get defensive, Y/N,” she said. “Anyway, glad to see you back at work.” 

“Thanks,” you mumbled before going back to work. 

When it came time to leave for lunch, you left your office and got in your car. You drove to the restaurant that you were meeting Harry at and walked inside. Harry was already there and sitting at a back table that was pretty private. 

He hugged you tightly when you got there before giving you a quick kiss and you two sat down at the table. Before you could even say anything to him, someone walked up to the table. You figured it was the waiter, but you quickly found out that it wasn’t. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Madison smirked crossing her arms as she looked at you and Harry. 

better with you ft. dean

smut, angst, vulgar language

word count: 7345 

~

it had been two months now since you had broken up with him. he could never admit to anyone that he was devastated. when you left him, he fixed himself a drink which only led to more. sadly, he was an alcoholic now.

he’d spend most of his days and nights in the studio by himself, working on songs. sometimes he would sleep there and it wasn’t because he got tired or too drunk to drive home, but because he couldn’t sleep in his bed. it would only remind him of you.

other than his bestfriends hyoseob and millic, he talked no one else. they were all that he had, they really cared for him. on the days that he wouldn’t eat, they’d bring him food and say that you wouldn’t want him to not eat. reminding him of how you kept him fed and brought homecooked meals to the studio when you could’ve just bought him fast food.

as of right now, he had been forced by them to go out to the store with them. he needed some fresh air, he needed to actually get out instead of just hopping into a car and going straight home.

“i’m happy that you’re out hyung.” millic said to his pouty faced baggy eyed bestfriend, hyuk.

“so happy!” hyoseob patted hyuk’s back and smiled. “how are you feeling? do your eyes hurt from the sun?” he tried being sarcastic.

“i’m fine.” he sighed. “can we just hurry and leave? i need a drink.”

“no. it’s too early in the morning to be drinking. you drink too much, you know that isn’t healthy.” hyoseob said, in an annoyed tone.

hyuk stayed behind them, watching them gather up groceries in the cart made him even more pissed than he already was. he remembered going grocery shopping with you and how fun it was.

you would throw healthy stuff into the cart that hyuk couldn’t stand eating. he’d try to fill the cart up with junk food before you could fill it up but usually failed at that attempt. the food that you cooked was good to him, it’s just that sometimes…he wanted to have candy and cake for dinner. he could be a kid at times.

“hey isn’t this what y/n made on hyuk hyung’s birthday?” millic “whispered” to hyoseob.

although hyuk was zoned out, he heard that. he looked at the boxes on the shelf one time before he knew he was about to break. he bit down on his bottom lip and walked out of the store.

there was a bench by the door so he sat there and pondered. “why? why the fuck did she leave me?” he asked himself.

when you broke up with him, you told him that it was because he never had time for you. of course his career was a priority but so were you. but it seemed as if he put you to the side without thinking about your needs or wants. you needed and wanted him when he wasn’t there. you needed and wanted his love. but he barely ever gave you that. he thought that you would never leave him, he thought that you two were doing good but he thought wrong.

“dean? dean!” someone shrieked which made hyuk turn his head fast.

it was a fan. she was a teen so that explained her high pitched voice and non fully developed figure.

“can i…can we take a picture?” she asked.

he couldn’t let down a fan just because his life was shit…so he nodded and stood up. she stood beside him and pulled up the camera app on her phone. in less than a minute, she was gone.

that was another thing that reminded him of you. in the mornings, you would wake him up by kissing him but as soon as he opened his eyes, you’d snap a picture of him and run away. he’d never catch you, but it was a fun way to wake him up.

little did hyuk know, you still had those thousands of pictures in your phone.

“hyuk? we were looking for you!” hyoseob literally shouted.

“why did you come out here?” millic asked while he repositioned the plastic bags in his hands to prevent them from falling.

“i needed air.” he responded dryly. “let’s go.”

*

you were sitting with your friends, waiting on a move. ever since your breakup with dean, all you’ve been doing is going out. other than the romance category, your life was going well.

“how about we go to the club?” elkie suggested.

“ahh i don’t know, you know we have to meet up with chaeyoung at eleven.” yeun sighed.

you were kinda affiliated with a gang. the leader was your ex boyfriend from a long time ago, five years. your reason for still being around him was because he was also one of your close friends.

when you told him about the break up, he along with elkie and yeun was there to help you back to your regular self. the fact that it took you only a week to go back to regular old y/n showed a lot about their commitment.

“alright, let’s go to the club for about two guys hours then, we can go to the house.” elkie said as she grabbed her car keys.

the ride there was way more lit than the actual club since elkie brought her aux cord. of course you all were in vip since the money that you all made from dealing could buy you just about anything.

unlike you, elkie and yeun were dancing their asses off, doing sexy dances together. they urged you to participate in it but, you just weren’t feeling it.

you and hyuk met in this club and the same exact slow jam was playing. you remembered like it was yesterday, he smoothly sat beside you and just started taking to you. the both of you were drunk so that helped keep the conversation interesting and funny. his goal at first was to have a one night stand with you but, he fell in love. the funny thing is…you were sitting in the same booth.

“now i know you’re not thinking of dean.” yeun sat down beside you, poured a drink and then she gave it to you. “drink it y/n and let loose. i’m not asking you to drink it all.”

you took the liquor bottle from the table and took a big gulp, receiving a look of shock from both of your friends. you thought, fuck it..why not. you hated to be in your feelings especially in your feelings over someone who never had time for you.

“alright let’s dance!” elkie grabbed your hand and pulled you up.

honestly, you hated to dance in the club because you already got stares from just entering but it was something about tonight that you realized after drinking, you felt like getting loose was something that you needed to do.

five songs later, you were exhausted. “i bet you’re tired! y/n you killed it out there!” elkie sat down beside you and high fived you.

“there were some dudes that wanted talk to you but i handled it. they were hot though.” yeun laughed as she followed elkie.

you giggled before fixing yourself another drink, but right when you were about to take a sip, something told you to look up. and there sat hyuk.

he was sitting in another vip booth by himself, sipping a brown drink and tapping his fingers on his lap to the music. he looked bad. with his puffy eyes, bags, and messed up hair, you could tell that he wasn’t doing good.

you were still close friends with both millic and hyoseob. every now and then, you’d call them to check up on him and they would tell you that he’s doing okay. but he damn sure didn’t look okay.

half of you thought that it was best to just ignore his presence and the other half felt bad about leaving him, you still loved him but he could never love you again after what you did to him.

“hey it’s eleven.” you tapped elkie.

“it’s te-”

“it’s eleven now let’s go.” you got up and left to the car.

when you arrived to the house with the girls, it was actually eleven which made you feel a little better after what had just happened.

“eleven o'clock sharp, it’s always best to leave early.” you said with pride as you got out of the vehicle and headed to the doorstep, elkie and yeun followed.

you did the secret knock and waited for the security to slide the handle so that the door could be opened. after an additional two minutes, he came to the door.

“y/n? is that you?” a familiar voice asked. it was the ex, chaeyoung.

“yeah fool, let us in!” you shouted.

soon after hearing a bunch of locks being unlocked and chains rattling, the door was open. just as usual, the place was filled with smoke from blunts and smelled of alcohol.

“you do know that the meeting was at ten? and that y'all missed it. what were y'all doing?” you all sat down in the sitting area.

“we we’re going grocery shopping.” elkie lied, thinking that it could be believable since you three live together now.

yeun and you nodded in agreement and plastered the scariest smile on your faces.

“bullshit!” he slammed his hand on the coffee table which made elkie and yeun jump. “i told y'all to be here by ten because this meeting was what?”

“important!” yeun spat out in fear.

“yeah yeun, the meeting was important. who deals the drugs as of now since our other guys got killed?”

“us..” you grunted. you weren’t in the mood to hear this, so you got up and signaled for the others to follow behind.

“where are y'all going?!” he rose from the chair and rushed in front of you.

“home.” you pushed him out of the way and left out of the house.

“i love you y/n!” he shouted from the doorstep.

you turned your head sightly, and sent him a heart with your fingers before getting in the car and leaving.

he’d always tried to be strict with you, but it would never work because you’d never be in the mood to hear it. your relationship with him was bipolar, but that’s what made it special.

“how do you get to talk to him like that?” elkie asked.

“you keep forgetting that we used to date.” you responded.

“hey let’s do bad shit when we get to the house cause i still got energy.” yeun suggested as she hopped around in her seat.

you nodded and continued driving.

*
“hyung?” millic slowly knocked on the studio door before entering with someone. “jae is here.”

“hey dean.” she said as seductively as she could, making millic leave quicker than the last time.

jae was the girl who would drop everything and come over to satisfy this man’s needs if he called. but, she could only get him off with her mouth or cuddle with him because he would never fuck her. she couldn’t even call him hyuk or touch his hair because he wouldn’t let her.

“you look like you’re tired, we should cuddle?” she suggested.

hyuk nodded and finished saving his work before sitting on the couch. jae climbed under him and then, he wrapped his arms around her.

since she was also black, he’d imagine you in his arms at these times. he’d hold on to her so tight that she would often think that he had feelings for her. she had damn sure caught feelings for him. the only thing that didn’t stop her was that she didn’t know about you. she just thought that he was a lonely singer who needed love.

“goodnight.” she spoke, still in a seductive way.

hyuk didn’t reply, instead he just went straight to sleep. but unfortunately, he was awakened by a scream. he hopped off of the couch, literally making jae fall on the floor and sped to the location of the familiar voice.

“wha-”

“millic, you’re still here!?” hyuk asked the younger man, who was sitting in the dimmed lounge with his phone up to his face.

“hyung come look at this!” he rushed him to come over.

once he did, he gave hyuk the phone and the video played again. his eyes widened and his jaw dropped at what he saw. he didn’t know what or how to feel. it was you on the screen, waving a gun in the air with a collosal bag of weed up to your ear.

“gang! gang! gang!” you shouted.

hyuk plopped down in a chair and sighed, while still watching the looping video. “what the fuck happened to her?”

“dean?” jae walked into the room but quickly got sent back when hyuk told her to go back to sleep. but, she only hid by the doorway to ease drop.

“why is she like this?” his voice came out shaky, he needed answers.

“i don’t know…maybe she was or is suffering just like you and this is her only way to relieve stress.” millic shrugged.

“that’s impossible. just look at how happy and stupid she is. i have to see her..i have to stop her from fucking up her life.” he bit down on his lip. “you know..i keep her number saved cause i hope one day she’ll get the sense to call me and say she’s missing me as much as i’m missing her. but i know that isn’t happening so i-” he stopped himself once he felt tears fall down his face.

“please don’t cry hyung.” millic rushed over to his side and hugged him.

millic decided to stay over at the studio with hyuk and jae finally knew about you..

it was early in the morning when hyuk woke up, he ate a few granola bars that he kept in his bag before going back into the engineering room.

“dean? you’re awake?” jae’s voice filled up the comfortable silence.

“you’re still here?” he asked her.

“listen…we need to talk.” she grabbed a chair and sat beside him. “why are you so rude to me? and why don’t you ever talk to me?”

hyuk turned his body to face her. once their eyes meet each other, he spoke. “does it really matter?”

“yes.”

“i can’t talk to women.” he told her.

“you’re talking to me though. stop playing with me and spit out!” jae yelled in frustration.

“i fucking told you.” he responded coldly.

“but you were talking about some girl last night.” jae said, which caused hyuk to squint his eyes. “you were saying some female’s name in your sleep. y/n? who the hell is that?!”

hyuk huffed and leaned over, resting his head on his fist. “it’s none of your business.”

“you’re an asshole and a liar!” she punched him, in the chest causing him to hyperventilate and her eyes shot open wide. he then fell over onto the floor, he was a coughing and breathless mess.

“millic!” she shouted. “help!”

in less than thirty seconds, millic came running into the room.

“what the fuck happened!” he got on his knees and pulled out his phone. “hyung hang on! do you have your asthma pump?!”

he nodded his head and pointed over to his bag. millic moved as fast as lighting to the bag and back. “here!”

unfortunately, there was only one pump left.

“do you think that y/n might have your other one?!” millic asked and after receiving a hesitant nod, he dialed your number.

*
you had just showered and was about to leave the house with elkie and yeun to deliver some drugs to customers.

“y/n your phone is ringing!” elkie shouted from the bathroom.

you slowly walked to your ringing phone, seeing that it was millic. “yeah?”

“do you have hyuk hyung’s asthma pump?! please tell me you do! we’re at the studio and he’s about to die! please if you do bring it now!!” millic was panicking, screaming at you over the phone.

“im on my way.” you started to look for the pump that you kept just in case something like this happened.

once you found it, you swung open the door and jumped over the porch steps to your car.

“where are you going?!” yeun ran onto the steps and asked you.

“im sorry!” you got in the car and started the engine.

once you got to the studio, you jetted to the back where you knew that he always worked.

“hyuk! millic?” you shouted around until you found them.

you ran past the female that stood in the doorway and down to the ground beside hyuk. you handed him the asthma pump and helped him sit up. as you watched him give himself air, you became overwhelmed with mixed emotions. you hadn’t been this close to each other for two months and for some reason, you were about to break down into tears. you missed him so much.

once he could breath regularly, millic and you helped him up to his chair. immediately after he was seated, he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your abdomen.

“how did this happen?” you asked, not caring too much about who answered you.

“i don’t know, he was in here with her and i was sleeping. but she woke me up and called me in here.” millic said as he watched hyuk pull you closer to him by your waist. hesitantly, you put your hand in his hair and ran your fingers through it repeatedly. he closed his eyes and nuzzed his nose on your sweater. it fucking broke your heart.

“are you his girlfriend?” you asked jae, afraid of what she might say. it would hurt a lot if he moved on so quick.

“yes.” she hesitated.

“you’re not.” hyuk mumbled more to himself than to you, pulling you onto his lap.

“please just stay here with me.” he whispered.

you were fucking confused at this moment. if he had a girlfriend, then why was he doing this? especially in front of her.

as bad as you wanted to stay,  you knew that you had to go. you pulled yourself out of his grip and grabbed his asthma pump.

“if he ever has an asthma attack, please get him to use this as quickly as possible. and when he’s back to normal, run your fingers through his hair, it calms him. and also, if you cuddle with him, it’ll help him relax, okay?” you told jae, while handing her the pump.

“okay.” she nodded.

and with that, you left.

“im so sorry hyuk.” jae spat out after she heard the door close.

“don’t fucking call me hyuk. as a matter of fact, don’t call me anything cause you’re fired.” hyuk slowly but sternly responded. “please millic, please get her out of here.”

millic nodded and attempted to show jae the way out.

“i know stuff about her.” she shoved him away from her.

hyuk laughed because he didn’t believe her, how could she possibly know anything about you? “what do you know?”

“that she’s a drug dealer and she works for chaeyoung.” she crossed her arms and smirked. “and she stays with two other girls who drug deal too. i bet they do drugs while licking each other’s pu-”

“millic please get this bi- woman out of here!” hyuk shouted.

millic snatched the asthma pump from her hand and threw it on the couch before grabbing jae’s wrist and literally throwing her out.

hyuk pulled out his phone and went to the caller id. he sat for five minutes and pondered on whether or not he should call you.

he started to scroll down, until he saw your name. it didn’t even matter to him that you were probably mad because, he just needed to talk.

“who’s this?” a deep voiced male answered the phone, causing hyuk’s heart to drop. he hoped that you had changed your number. he hoped that nothing bad happened to you and he damn sure hoped that you didn’t move on that fast.

“is this y/n’s number?” he asked.

“give me my phone chae!” hyuk heard you shout and giggle.

right after hearing you shout that name hyuk remembered jae saying something about chaeyoung. was it true? he thought.

he tried hard to not think about it but, he couldn’t get it off of his mind now. he wondered what made you turn to drugs if you were the one who broke his heart. if anything, he needs to do drugs, not you.

“hello unknown who are you?” you asked.

“can we talk?” he asked.

“hyuk….? text me tonight.” you whispered before abruptly hanging up.

*

you were just now leaving chaeyoung’s house after discussing with him about what happened today. luckily, he understood so you didn’t receive a punishment.

it was about seven pm when your phone started to ring. you answered it when you turned to take the back road back home.

“hello who’s this?”

“you wanna know what’s funny.” hyuk’s comforting voice echoed through your phone.

“ohh it’s hyuk…what?”

“your number is still saved in my phone but mine isn’t in yours. is that step one of moving on?”

“haha very funny. it’s not.” you hid your laugh.

“listen y/n, i know that you’ll probably say no bu-”

“but what?” you rushed him.

“well if you would’ve let me finish…i was gonna ask if you could meet me.”

“meet you where?”

“you know where im at.” he was telling the truth. you knew that he was always at the studio. it was his life.

“okay…im on my way.”

*

you parked your car in the parking lot of the studio and checked yourself in the mirror before heading in.

“y/n..” hyuk’s head popped up when he saw you. he was about to hug you but you curved him and sat in the chair beside his.

“how have you been the past 64 days, 1536 hours and 5529600 seconds and counting?” he asked you as he proceeded to take a sip of a brown substance but you stopped him.

“since when have you drank alcohol here? you only drink when you’re out and you barely go out.” you asked.

“since you left me to be a drug dealer.” he said this while looking into your eyes, it affected you greatly.

“hyuk… it’s my only source of income and i thought you were doing fine. i mean, you do have a girlfriend.” you said, it was best to tell the truth.

“your only source of income? are you fucking kidding me y/n? you just graduated from college and you’re telling me that the occupation you chose is drug dealing? and what’s up with that video you posted last night? you’re fucking up your reputation.” although hyuk was more than angry with you, he spoke calmy. “and she isn’t my girlfriend. just someone that sucked me off if you want the honest truth.”

“hyuk..i got so used to you caring for me that i couldn’t go out in the real world and look for a real job. chaeyoung, the guy you fought over me years ago offered me…well i’m not in his gang but im cool with everyone and they protect me. and you know that i had problems with those “dirty” girls from daegu. he told me that it’s what i had do or just like you know, he knows…i could’ve gotten killed. so as the weeks passed, those girls stopped fucking with me and i decided to stay because i was so thankful.“

“then why did you leave me? you wouldn’t be in all of this shit if you were still with me y/n.”

now was your time to tell him why. you often thought to yourself, ‘why did i break up with him on his birthday and not even tell him why?’ at the moment, it didn’t seem like such a bad thing, but thinking back on it now, you felt like a bitch.

“you never had time for me. you know, when you came home late…i thought that you were cheating instead of working like you said you were. we were so distant yet so close in bed. did you only use me for sex or was i just your little shiny trophy that you loved to show off?”

“i would’ve made time for you if you talked to me. or if you wanted me home early, i damn sure would’ve came home early y/n because i fucking love you. i love you so much and the fact that you think that i was using you hurts me. i loved sex with you, i loved showing you off, but what i loved the most was that i could come home to you. now i can’t because you left me and i’ve been fucked up ever since.”

hearing him say all of that was enough to make you cry. and so you did. hyuk leaned over and pulled you close to him.

“im so sorry hyuk.” you said although it wasn’t all that you wanted to say. your words just choked up. you got out of your chair and straddled him, only to ly your head on his shoulder and cry some more.

“i won’t accept your apology until you quit your little job.” hyuk spoke with honest words.

“but i need money.” you sat up, resulting in dean putting his hands on your thighs.

“i’ll take care of you.”

*

“shit…” you woke up in your former bed, in your former house and with your back against your former boyfriend’s chest. you looked down and noticed that you weren’t wearing anything but an oversized shirt.

you didn’t even have to wonder how you got here, because you knew. right after hyuk and you made things up, he asked if you could stay “for a while longer” since he was gonna be alone if you left.

“y/n wait..” hyuk grabbed your wrist just before you could get out of the door.

“what is it?”  you asked.

“i know that we agreed to start over as friends but…can you stay for a while longer? i missed you being here with me and now you’re finally here. i can’t let you go. at least not now.”

you sighed, noticing how desperate and hopeful he looked. you gave in and sat in the sofa that was located a few feet away from his work area.

“why are you so far? come here, please.”

you got up and sat back in the seat that you were previously in. “better?”

“better.” he said as he took a sip of his alcohol.

“hey let me try some.” you reached for his cup and gulped the whole thing down receiving an annoyed but surprised look from hyuk.

“since when have you been this prone to alcohol?” he laughed as he reached under the table and placed a hennessey bottle in front of you.

“take a guess.”

“oohh, so i see that you weren’t doing too good either.”

“eh.” you held your hand up horizontally and shook sideways it to show that you were in between not good and good.

“well, let’s drink and forget about the past, just for the night.” hyuk suggested and you agreed.

that’s all that you remember.

“hyuk?” you semi whispered while you nudged him.

“yeah baby?” he murmured which sent chills down your spine. it had been a long time since you heard his sleepy voice and he knew what it did to you. and feeling his morning wood on the back of your thigh didn’t help but, you had to be strong.

“i’m not your baby…hyuk.” you accidentally moaned his name when he tightened his grip on you and little big hyuk had transcended to your ass.

“you are my baby. you’re my everything.” he pecked your neck.

“no, i’m your friend remember?” you exhorted him to stop playing around.

“the both of us know that we could never be just friends.” hyuk continued to kiss your neck, receiving quiet and soft moans from you.

“hyuk…”

“that’s right baby say my name.” he snuck his fingers into your panties. “you want me just as bad as i want you. you’re wet. don’t hide it.”

“you’re fucking slick..” you managed to say since you could barely breath with hyuk’s fingers inside of you. for two months you hadn’t done anything sexual so this was like a breath of fresh air.

he chuckled and took those two fingers to his mouth before disappearing under the sheets and pulling off your underwear. he grabbed you by your thighs and-

“god bless america!” you moaned aloud without even thinking of what you said.

as soon as hyuk’s tongue hit your spot, your toes curled and you arched your back in pleasure. you pulled the sheets down to see him in action. you had the urge to push his head up to let him know that you were ready and so you attempted that.

“you want me inside of you already?” hyuk asked you with a cocky smirk plastered on his face.

“yes hyuk…i want you now.” you said through gritted teeth.

that was all that he had to hear before climbing on top of you and positioning himself at your center. “you know, we still haven’t kissed.”

you hesitated but surely tilted your head up and puckered your lips. he smiled down at you and leaned in. the kiss turned disgustingly wet, enough to distract you from what hyuk was about to do.

he pushed himself inside of you slowly, letting you get readjusted to his size with every inch. you who was totally unaware of what he was doing, gasped and tilted your head up.

“you’re so beautiful.” hyuk said as he moved the strings of hair from out of your face.

you couldn’t reply with words, just with moans that drove hyuk to keep going slow, deep and steady. you missed sex with hyuk, you missed how he took his time, how he would call you beautiful all while fucking the shit out of you.

he managed to get his shirt off and prop up on his elbows. “take your shirt off.” he told you while he still grinded inside of you. purposely making it hard for you to remove your hands from his shoulder and back. you attempted to, with your shaky hands you pulled your shirt over your head and threw it on the floor. success.

he pulled out of you, making you whimper from feeling the emptiness that was once the opposite.

“all fours.” he helped you turn around and arch your back just how he liked it. and little did you know that he had the biggest smile on his face. he was finally having you again, in your bed.

he grabbed you by your hips, and positioned himself, once again at your entrance. with only his tip touching you, you were a mess. you needed him bad.

“i want you so bad.” you bit down on your lip when you heard him reply with a chuckle.

“i want you too princess..” he entered you, feeling that warmth that he loved and would kill for.

the room was quickly filled up with both moans and groans coming from the both of you. as hyuk sped up his pace, he smacked your ass, making you arch your back a little more than it was. you buried your face in a pillow and literally screamed out in pleasure.

“you like this? is this pretty kitty all mine?” he asked after he slowed down and began hip rolling himself into you with full force.

“yes hyuk…it’s all yours.” you gripped the sheets and took every inch of what he was giving you.

*

soon after the both of you came, you showered together which only led to round two. you were currently in the bathroom, detangling your hair and grooving along to the music that hyuk played through his speakers.

hyuk was downstairs, fixing a basic meal that you taught him how to cook a few months back. chicken and waffles.

as you finished up, you moved back to the room to make up the bed. while in the process, you thought about how fast you and hyuk made up and how fast the “make up sex” came about. neither of you didn’t think of it as make up sex though, rather as just…something casual.

when you lived with hyuk morning sex wasn’t anything new. he was a freak for you, and nobody else. you craved him just as much as he craved you and that’s what you loved about your relationship with him. young, carefree sex.

when you were finished, you threw on one of hyuk’s shirts and grabbed your phone before heading downstairs to the kitchen. when you got there, it looked like he was almost finished with the waffles. he was standing at the drive, bobbing his head..in his own little world.

“hello..” you said while you snuck behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, causing him to jump.

“you scared me.” he laughed and turned around, he pecked your lips and handed you a plate.

“it looks good!” you said in shock, receiving an annoyed look from hyuk.

“what are you trying to say? i made this before remember?” he scrunched his face up at you.

“i remember you sending me a picture of chicken and waffles and you saying that you made it but i also remember seeing a logo from a cooking show on the bottom left corner.” you giggled, before pouring syrup all over your waffles.

“ahh shut up and eat.” he looked down while laughing at himself. it was cute to him…how you remembered.

“hey hyuk?”

“yeah?” he looked up.

“you said that you didn’t have a girlfriend right?” you asked him, remembering yesterday.

“i do..” he rested his head on the palm of his hand and stared at you.

and with that, your heart dropped. after what just happened you couldn’t believe it. he had to have used you for sex. does he think that you’re just some toy? what could you have possibly done to deserve this? he was looking more like a fuckboy as the seconds passed.

“are you serious?! i thou-”

“it’s you.” he cut you off.

“ooh…” was all that you could say. you were embarrassed, you were surely about to spazz on him.

“move back in…we can start over. and i promise that i will have time for you.” he grabbed your hand, anticipating your answer.

you felt wishy washy about it. yeah he promised, but could he keep it?

“i’m gonna to need some time to think about it…is that okay with you?”

“yes, that’s perfect. it’s better than a no.” he squeezed your hand before letting it go and carrying the dishes to the sink.

suddenly, your phone started vibrating… chaeyoung was calling. you hesitated at first to call him once you saw that he had called twenty times earlier. it was most likely gonna be a bad conversation if you answered. but you had to answer or else, you’d be tracked down by now.

“hello?” you got up from the island and walked a distance away from hyuk.

“where the hell are you? elks and yeun are telling me that you have the drugs in your car. the guys are here! get your ass here now before we have to have a shootout!” he hung up.

you turned around to meet eyes with hyuk, he was ease dropping. your loud phone and chae’s yelling made him able to do so.

“i’m going with you and you’re gonna end things with him alright?”

you nodded and proceeded to get ready to leave.

*

luckily you left a few pair of pants at hyuk’s house when you broke up. if you hadn’t made that mistake, you’d be walking into chae’s ‘house’ wearing men’s pants that would be far too big for you.

once you got to the door and did all of the things that you needed to do to be able to enter, you signaled for hyuk to lock the door. before you left, you showed him where your gun was just in case someone tried something.

“y/n!” elkie and yeun ran up to you, giving you hugs and kisses.. everywhere including your lips. not that it was surprising.

“where were you? you were gone for so long! and you know, chae is upset with you…like very.”

“hyuk’s.” you whispered. “he’s in the car so please be helpful and watch him for me please?” you asked them, quickly receiving nods from them.

“y/n you’re in trouble.” chaeyoung crept up behind you, placing a gun on your shoulder.

“you’re seriously trying to scare me? it’s not working and here’s the bag that you so desperately need.” you turned around, handing him the drugs.

“chae, this is who you have working for you? what does she do? set people up?” some random guy said to chae before getting hit in the mouth by one of chae’s gang members.

“i don’t work for him.” you spoke. “i’m done with this lifestyle chae.”

“what?” he asked you.

“you heard me, i could be doing better than this. i didn’t go to college to be a drug dealer chae. im done.” you proceeded go out of the door until he grabbed your wrist.

“i thought that we could be together again one day. you were supposed to be my bonnie y/n.” he said.

you managed to wiggle your wrist from out of his grip. “well you thought. bye chae.”

although you got out of the house, him and at least five other guys followed you.

“you really brought him to my territory?” he asked you, after noticing hyuk. “you know..” he came closer to you and pulled you into a forced hug which triggered hyuk. just as expected.

he got out of the car. “let her go.”

“ooh we meet again? it’s always nice to see the guy who broke my arm and stole my girl from me.” chae laughed. “listen, you gonna have to fight me if you want me to let her go. and if you want me out of her life, i suggest you make me bleed. i should warn you, my fighting skills have advanced.”

hyuk didn’t hesitate to pull off his jacket and throw it at elkie. “yahh jackass…” she murmured as she caught it.

chaeyoung let you go and put all of his focus on hyuk. “if you lose, my boys will kill you.” he said, getting in his stance.

“alright bet.” hyuk did the same.

“god please..” you whispered to yourself. you couldn’t bare to look, you wished that you didn’t even let him come. it’s not that you didn’t have confidence in him, it’s just that this is a dangerous game.

as expected, chaeyoung tried to cheap shot hyuk but he had a quick reflex to it. he ducked and hit chae with a low blow, causing him to lean over in pain.

“your fighting skills are what?” hyuk asked with a smirk on his face while he watched chae suffer from the hit.

he hit him again, this time making him fall to his knees. chaeyoung quickly reached for his pockets, looking for anything that could to help defend himself. what he was doing was barely visible to hyuk, only you and the girls could see.

“dean he’s got a knife!” yeun shouted before you could.

hyuk backed away just when chaeyoung swung his knife, targeting his legs. this drove hyuk with anger. he kicked the knife out of chae’s hand and climbed on top of him.

“you are fucking weak!” he threw several punches at him and didn’t stop until two big guys threw him off. “if you fuck with my woman again, i’ll knock your fucking head off.” hyuk threatened him, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the car with elkie and yeun following. they both ended up in the passenger and driver seats so hyuk and you ended up riding in the back.

“hyuk are you okay? are you hurt?” your girlfriend mode instantly kicked in. you grabbed his face by his cheek and turned his head to the side to look for any bruises or cuts.

he laughed and put his hand over yours, massaging it with his thumb. “im fine mocha. he didn’t even let a finger on me. his fighting skills advanced alright.”

the car filled up with laughter. “you two back together or something?” yeun asked.

“yupp.” you said. “and i’ll be moving out.”

hyuk turned his head to face you so quick that it almost snapped. his eyes were as wide as they could get and he wore a broad smile. he couldn’t believe it, everything was gonna be back to normal.

“yes!” yeun and elkie cheered in unison, while they high fived each other.

“what? why are y'all so happy about that?” you asked, feeling a little hurt.

“because, we don’t have to hear you two having sex anymore.”

“it was only like five times and i moved out so why are y'all holding such a grudge?” you laughed along with an embarrassed hyuk.

“no, it was at least twelve and yeah you did move out, but we are scarred forever.” yeun said.

“yeah see, it’s good that you two are back together but it’s even better that you’re moving back in with him. what if you weren’t? we’d have to get use to hearing the headboard hitting against the wall at like one in the morning and ‘hyuk! hyuk! daddy!’ and all those moans and grunts..ugh i remember like it was yesterday.” elkie cringed at the memory.

“anyways you should call millic and hyoseob for a chill session. we should do it at the studio.” you changed the subject and suggested to hyuk.

he nodded and wrapped his arm around you. “sounds cool, i’ll call them now.”

*

when you arrived at the studio, hyoseob and millic were already there waiting. they were excited about the news and they couldn’t wait to see you and hyuk together in person again. seeing hyuk happy made them happy.

“y/n!” hyoseob shouted as he ran over to you and hugged you, he attempted to run his fingers through your hair in which he always failed. it was a playful thing that you and him did.

“we properly meet again.” millic hugged you and then, hyuk.

there were already a bunch of shots lined up on the table along with small snacks that went well with alcohol. there was even a playlist waiting to be played. everything was perfect just like it usually was.

“turn on the music.” yeun said.

millic went over to the soundboard and started the playlist. some jazz song came on but whatever it was, everyone was feeling it. the mood was relaxing and chill. dimmed lights, alcohol, snacks, and hyuk was all that you needed to feel free.

you sat in his lap and fed him the small snacks while you shared a drink. “so, you know i gotta make this official. would you like to date me y/n?” hyuk asked in formal korean.

“yes i would love to date you.” you kissed him teasingly, letting his tongue slip into your mouth for a split second until you pulled away. “wait until we get home.”

“mhmm..i love you y/n.”

“i love you too.” you replied.

and you meant it. you loved that man so much, you’ll never leave him again.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ +thanks for reading! •.̫ • ♡ and please excuse any grammar errors or anything along those lines.