or eat on the internet

||oh and while I’m at chattin about people I don’t want following me here’s a friendly list. Fuck right off if you’re: homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, ableist, a fucking nazi, or any other form of garbage person, eat some crackers and go to a corner of the internet where you’re wanted these posts aren’t for you.

Also while I’m at it if think everyone needs to “calm down and just be okay with stuff” please go away. I full of rage and believe fully that it’s warranted, so if I get some peace loving ‘we just gotta hold hands’ Bullshit in my inbox again I will start lighting things on fire. I’m angry and have every friggin right to be.||

So, for those of you who are asking, “What the hell, Hexxe? Where are our requests?” This is your answer. (@rude ass anon, I see you.)

Basically, the lack of updating comes down to life and lack of internet. One of our lovely neighbors messed something up while cutting branches, so I don’t have access to wi-fi.

As for life, I have a two-month old daughter. I don’t know if any of you have kids, but they require a lot of love and attention, particularly when they’re this young.

While she’s with her grandmother right now, I can’t update because, again, I don’t have internet access, and all of you mobile users know that Tumblr eats up a ton of data.

I should have internet again tomorrow. Once I whittle my inbox down to twenty requests or so, I’ll open it back up for requests.

if I was famous I would 100% create a blog in my own fandom and then make speculative posts like ‘I bet she sits in her underwear watching the phantom of the opera eating animal crackers’ and ideally I would get internet hate for my weirdly specific speculation but in reality that would be exactly what I was doing and the jokes on everyone

Details about D.Va to Consider

So I realize that there are some things about Korean culture that people might not think of readily, so I wanted to offer a few fun thoughts and tidbits:

  • To recap, Hana Song aka D.Va is a teen World Starcraft Champion from the port city of Busan, famous for its beaches and Buddhist temples
  • At 19 years old, she is old enough drive, but the legal age is 18, so she wouldn’t have had a license for long. Oh, and personal anecdote: The Korean system makes it so that you can attain your driver’s license in three days if you really wanted to. So, I have a license, but I haven’t touched a car since I got the license… which I got in three days…
    • Also, within Korea, Busan is known for its aggressive taxi drivers / drivers in general, aha. I did a day trip with some friends the other day and it was gorgeous, the beach was stunning, but the bus ride was… a little nervewracking…
  • Being from Busan, D.Va should actually have the Busan dialect, which sounds very different from Seoul dialect. Even if she can switch comfortably between the two, if she was raised with the Busan one, it’s probably going to be her default. Here’s an example of the dialect, and here’s an example of D.Va’s Korean voice actress, who is from Busan herself, doing the inflection.
  • Korea has mandatory military service for its men for about two years, which you can fulfill between the ages of 18 and 25. So, unless Overwatch plans to change the system in their world, D.Va is working in a military with this in place.
  • Dunno what Overwatch is going to do with futuristic Busan, but in Korea, if you’re super famous, you’re going to end up on a lot of pizza, fried chicken, cosmetics, and or air conditioner commercials. Each of those are links, but if you want an example of how excessive Korea can get about one person, look at this Kim Yuna compilation. That’s not even all of them - just some of the ones from the year 2016. If D.Va is recognized as a national hero and an idol simultaneously, I wouldn’t be surprised by this kind of treatment.
    • Further, Korean idols are held to a high standard of moral character, as they are expected to be hardworking, positive role models for children and other youths.
    • But seriously, I could write an essay on how celebrity culture / marketing in Korea differs. Heck, I have, for school.

More under the cut since this is getting long:

Keep reading

philosophy-and-coffee  asked:

The question you asked about the Garlfied post: I would read the SHIT out of a story about a starving artist making a deal with an eldritch horror from beyond and accidently ending up getting some otherworldly dick.

okay so here is my pitch

it would be called Lionel James Wants To Be Famous

leo is a young man who, as the title suggests, would really like to be famous. and he has a lot of ideas about how he could like to be famous. but unfortunately for leo, he has approximately no talent, and not even in an interesting wiseau kind of a way.

he tried making a webcomic, which went approximately nowhere. he tried making flash animations, back when that was a thing. he returned to the well of webcomics. he tried stand-up. he tried self-publishing young adult novels. he made two episodes of a podcast. his latest venture has been an attempt to make it as a famous youtuber.

but he fucking sucks. not even in the fun way that some people suck. if he went viral for being shitty, he would be ecstatic. he would sell t-shirts celebrating his own humiliation. there is just nothing even remotely interesting about leo. there is not a creative bone in his body. he has no vision or drive. he is the guy who thinks he’s funny because he’s really good at repeating stand-up routines he saw on comedy central. he’s just. he’s not great.

so he does what any young man with minimal ambition that exceeds his even more minimal talent would do, and he summons a demon. which takes the form of a cat. a very round and fluffy black cat, with red eyes.

he names it taft.

taft the cat is a photogenic cheese-loving internet sensation. leo monetizes everything. there are shirts. there are ad-covered videos. taft gets their own comic book. sponsorships. leo gets to go on talk shows with his ridiculous fat cat from hell.

here is the thing about taft: they have been doing this for a long time. artists are easy marks. they’ve never taken the form of a lolcat before, but generally, acting as a muse is a quick way to get a soul. because sooner than later, an artist will realize how unfulfilling it is, how much it sucks to know that all their success is actually because of their demon muse, etc etc.

obviously getting artists to kill themselves due to lack of creative fulfillment isn’t exactly nice, but, demon.

leo, however, fucking loves this arrangement. because leo is not an artist. he just wants to be treated like one. and with dawning horror, this hideous shadowterror comes to realize that they are going to be stuck with this asshole for a really long time. and no matter what they do to try to make leo uncomfortable, or renege on the deal… it never works. he just rolls with it.

taft must now try to find a way to make living with an obnoxious manchild into something tolerable, and so far their plan is 90% ‘annoy the everliving shit out of him’ with a 10% side of ‘well, at least he’s not bad-looking’.

2

The social media world is heavily populated by trolls — you know, those people who write nasty, mean comments online. Sometimes it can be tempting to respond back, but what if there’s a better alternative? Like sending them a cake…. with their words written on it.

New York City baker Kat Thek does just that. She’s the founder of Troll Cakes, a bakery and detective agency.

The process is simple. First, customers go to the Troll Cakes site to submit the comment and address of the troll in question. Thek will then bake a cake, write the comment on it using frosting or fondant letters, wrap it up in festive confetti, and send it to the perpetrator.

“When you open it up, [the box] looks like 100 percent good news,” Thek laughs. “And then you see a screen grab of your comment, and it says, ‘Congratulations! Your Internet comment has been made into a Troll Cake.’ ”

This Baker Makes Internet Trolls Eat Their Words — Literally

Photos: Courtesy of Troll Cakes

High School In Review (so far)+ Some Tips!!!

Hello everyone! I’m Niva and I am a student of the High School class of 2019.

Now I’ve been in high school for 2 years now, so I think that can give some pretty solid advice to ya little upcoming freshman and any person who is still struggling in high school. So buckle up ya seat belts and put on some shades, cause we’re about to take a LONG ride

I know there are tons of freshman advice videos and posts out here on tumblr dot com, so I’m gonna try and make mine unique

*Note: My HS experience is unique; your may not need any of these tips, so who knows. Also, this post contains profanity. I don’t know if y’all care, it just seems that the studyblr community are all these sweet angels who attend church every Sunday and read the Bible in their spare time.

~=+=~FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORE YEAR~=+=~

my freshman overview: Look, this year was hardest compared to my sophomore year. One class literally ruined my life, my dudes. {humble brag} Throughout my entire life from PreK to 8th Grade, I had gotten straight A’s on all my report cards. My freshman year, I decided to take AP World History and BOY did it crush me. I made a C in the class first semester and a B in the second semester. Now, it was not the teacher at fault. In fact, I LOVED the teacher. I just was not interested in that class at all and the work matched with me being in Marching Band nearly sent me to my death bed. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just being 100% legit. This is also a PSA to all freshman offered to take APWH: This is one of the harder AP courses, and I wish one of my teachers had told me this before I decided to take the class (they probably did and I ignored them). This also was my first year in marching band and I’m telling you right now, if you’re wondering whether or not you should do marching band, do it. Even if you just do it for one year, it’s fuckin worth it mate. 

my sophomore overview: This year was SIGNIFICANTLY easier. During my freshman year, the way the schedule was set up was an A/B schedule; your schedule would alternate. On A days, you’d have these 4 classes and on B day, another 4. My sophomore year, they changed that and it was a bit easier for me. Not that I didn’t like the A/B schedule (I loved it), it was just a lot easier to manage classes. I only had one AP class this year, because I couldn’t take AP Lang because of schedule conflicts. ANTYWAYS, AP Gov is one of the easiest classes I took. My teacher was extremely chill and put a curve on every test and quiz, so that’s mainly why I didn’t fail. Marching band was much easier to handle since I already had experience. This was also the year I quit TSA (technology student association) and VEX Robotics, due to scheduling conflicts with band. And, to be quite honest, neither of the clubs were fun lmao. Literature class was annoying, because I got stuck in a class that DIDNT WANNA DO ANYTHING. They didn’t wanna read along, read at all, do projects, breathe, etc. (if you need tips on how to handle a trash class, just ask and I might make a post on that lol). Chemistry was purgatory, not hell, just purgatory. It was hard but not too hard that I didn’t pass. Math has never been hard for me so nothing really changed with that class. This year I brought back my streak of All A’s, so this school year was the best of the two in my eyes.

~=+=~The TIPS~=+=~

1. Normally, freshman don’t take AP classes, but if you are, be prepared. Depending on the class subject, you’re gonna have to do a hell of a lot more than just read the chapters once and do one page of notes. Try to always be ahead of the class and start some sort of study group. 

2. You’re best friend does not need to be your project partner all of the time. Seriously. If you have friends like mine, you will sit on your phone looking at memes on twitter for a long ass time before you ever start your project. Try doing a solo project every once in a while.

3. Don’t randomly join clubs. I was offered to join BETA Club and I didn’t wanna do it, so I didn’t. Don’t do clubs cause it looks nice cause 90% of the time, that one club won’t affect anything.

4. Save money. If you’re in marching band, dear god, save your money. School might as well be charging you to breathe. Everything cost SO MUCH MONEY. If you need to, set up a secret money jar so your parents don’t hijack your money.

5. Make new friends. Unlike most people apparently, I didn’t lose any friends. I do talk to certain people less because of class schedules, but we’re still friends. There is a small ass chance you’re gonna get caught in a class full of upperclassmen and no friends, and I had that situation. It’s not fun. Eventually, you’ll make a friend in that class, so don’t panic. But, anyways, new school, why not make new friends?

6. Don’t? Switch? Lunch? Tables? Okay, I don’t mean that someone’s gonna like sucker punch you out of your seat like in the movies. I mean like if we’re 5 months into the school year, don’t just randomly change your table, because …just don’t do it.

7. Don’t be that person who purposely gets on the teacher’s nerves to make class harder.

8. If you hate one of your teachers, suck it up buttercup. You have a choice of passing or failing, don’t let a teacher ruin an A in class for you.

9. Try and be on the other side of drama. It’s much more fun to watch drama go down, that to actually be involved in it.

10. Be early (if you can). I ride the bus, so I have no choice. But, there is legit no reasons for you to be walking into the class 10 minutes late, because you thought you could sleep an extra 5 mins.

11. I know your literature class is getting boring. This is probably your 7th consecutive year of learning the difference between a simile and a metaphor. I don’t know why they continue to reteach that stuff, but they do. All I can say is utilize what their teaching in some way, so that you don’t feel like the class is completely useless.

12. We all have that one class that you just do nothing in. Take advantage of that and get work done. I don’t have a “study hall” class so, any time you have to do work, use it.

13. Go to at least some of the school events. You can get relatively free food. 

14. Look, I could not care less if you skip school. But, don’t do it often and if you can, don’t do it ever. 

15. If you’re gonna eat in class, don’t eat something obvious like Lays Chips or a whole orange

16. Make friends with your teacher. Don’t be like creepy, but like, don’t have a bad relationship with your teacher.

17. Sophomore year, start thinking about college. You may think it’s too early, but it’s not. At least have an idea of what you want to major in.

18. If you can, get your permit as soon as you turn 15. Please don’t be like me. I still cannot drive and getting from Point A to Point B is harder than the VESPR Theory.

19. Disrespectful classmates are just an opportunity for you to get special privileges in class. If you’re class is disruptive and you’re just a sweet little angel, the teacher will most likely be more lenient with you. My teacher literally gave me a 100 on a project I turned in a day late (supposed to be 5 points off) because literally me and this other girl were the only ones who turned the project in.

20. Do your homework the day you get it. I don’t give a damn if it’s due in two days or two months, do it right then and right there.

21. In your language class, please try. Nobody likes the kid who doesn’t participate. If the teacher asks,  ¿Como estas?, you better fuckin say ¿Bien, y tu? back.

22. If you’re in a situation like mine, you’re gonna have a class you didn’t sign up for, yet somehow you got it. Just deal with it. If you can’t change your schedule, that’s all you can do. Just do the assignments and hope you pass.

23. Okay, most schools don’t have a “popular” group. But all schools definitely have the Prep group. You know, those kids. If you’re not one of them, just ignore them. If you are one of them, stop being so goddang stuck up and realise that you have an annoying voice. If you are not sure if you are a prep, you most likely are not.

24. My school doesn’t use lockers purely based on the fact that it would take too long for kids to get to them and back to class since my school is so big. So, if you also do not have lockers, make sure your bookbag can handle one full school year. I cannot stress this enough. You don’t wanna walk around school with a 15lb bookbag and only one functional strap.

25. Eat the school food. It’s honestly not as bad as the internet makes it. Like…eat ya pizza and enjoy it.

26. If your single and you want a relationship, please do not get a crush on random people like me. Someone would let me borrow a pencil and I would fantasize about a wedding for the next 2 days. I know it’s hard being lonely, but being in a relationship won’t get you a college scholarship.

27. Don’t drink a lot during school. There’s gonna be a teacher with a restriction on the bathroom because for some reason, they think bladders have a specific schedule to follow.

28. Don’t be that freshman that dates every senior in sight. If you have a relationship with a senior and it lasts, great. I’ve seen it happen, but 90% of the time it does not. 

29. Likewise, if you have a friend that’s running you up the wall with their problems, specifically relationship problems. Find a way to distance yourself from them, or even better, get them help from someone else.

30. If you have Type 4 hair (or type 3, it depends), you gotta do your hair at least 3 days in advance, especially if your hair is short. I don’t know a single person with kinky hair who can wake up and just simply throw their hair up.

31. Look, man. Just look here. Look at me in my eyes and listen. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU ARE GONNA HAVE SEX USE A CONDOM! USE A CONDOM OR DONT HAVE SEX AT ALL. I’m not speaking from personal experience, but I many of girls have gotten pregnant at my school

32. If you’re gonna do drugs, don’t. Don’t be stupid. Especially if you’re in a school club or sport. You are subject to random drug tests at all times. 

33. Try not to let people affect the way you dress. Wear what you want.

34. Something about you is gonna change. Your personality, your look, your aesthetic. Whatever changes, don’t be stuck up. Nobody likes stuck up people; not even stuck up people like stuck up people.

35. You know those posts that are like “Grades don’t determine intelligence?” Yeah, well they don’t determine your intelligence, but they can determine where you get into college (if you wanna go) and how you’re seen and perceived by teachers. At least, try to pass.

36. If you can, take the ACT or SAT or whatever standardized test you have for your schools. I had an opportunity to take the SAT in 4th, 7th, and 8th grade for $35…and I didn’t take it once. I heavily regret it. Mainly I didn’t take it, because, at the time, it was hard for my mother to pay for it when we had much bigger problems, but like, if you have the opportunity and the funds to take those tests, take them.

37. Don’t rely on quality points. In my school (they’ve gotten rid of this now though), if you’re in an AP class you got 10 extra points and if you were in an Honors/PreAP class, you got 5 points. Colleges look at your grades without the points. The only purpose for these quality points is so that kids in CP classes don’t get valedictorian or some shit idk

38. If you’re in America, you’re gonna have somebody walking around school in a Trump shirt. By all means, beat their ass, but know the consequences. Also, if you’re gonna talk about politics with somebody, please know at least the bare minimum. At least know what the Hillary email scandal is before you try and defend her. Same goes for my friends across the pond. You see someone supporting Theresa May, beat their ass, know the consequences, and learn politics.

39. Actually? Check? Your? Grades? I know so many people who just don’t know what they’re grades are. Know you’re grades so you always know where you stand.

40. I wanna say class rank does not matter, but if you’re anything like me, you’re gonna obsess over it for a while. I know you wanna be in the Top 5, but if you’re no where near it, you’re gonna have to work EXTREMELY HARDER THAN NORMAL. Try not to make a huge deal out of it, unless you’re aiming for Valedictorian.

41. Moisturize ya self. Don’t nobody like ashy knees and elbows. Invest in some lotion.

42. Listen. We all hate dress code. But just follow it. You can’t do anything about it. Just wait til the weekend to wear your spaghetti strap shirt and ripped jeans. And if you wear leggings and you have a wide hip and butt area, you are definitely going to be called out. If you’re not sure if you’re breaking dress code with what your wearing, bring an extra shirt and jeans just in case.

43. Go the fuck to sleep. Don’t be up at ass o’clock in the morning doing who-knows-what on the internet. I know from experience. You may think you can survive 8 hours of school with 2 hours of sleep, but as the day goes on, you’re not gonna want do anything at all, but sleep. But hey, if 2 hours of sleep works for, go ahead. It’s not healthy but I can’t regulate your life.

44. If you walk in the wrong class, everyone will forget about it after the a good 2 days. Literally nobody cared that much. Just walk out and forget about it.

45. If you have a phone, get your friends numbers/contacts/emails. You’re gonna need them for homework sooner or later.

46. To all those uber religious people out there, drop the clean act. If you hear somebody say “fuck”, get over it. I don’t know how else to say it. Teachers cannot stop somebody from cursing completely. People are gonna have sex, people are gonna cuss, people are gonna be inappropriate, and all you can do is focus on yourself.

47. Wear deodorant. You will be surprised at the amount of people who don’t. 

48. Studyblr is fun. Studyblr is nice. That being said, studyblr is not the end of the world. If you don’t have a bullet journal, just use the calendar in your phone or have an online bujo. Don’t let studyblr take up 90% of your study time, because scrolling through the studyblr tag is not studying.

49. Don’t be that kid that walks around with fucking surround sound speakers on their back. Wtf, like invest in some headphones my guy.

50. Never buy a 1 inch binder. Always 2 inch and above, unless you know for sure you only need a 1 inch.

51. You are gonna have a set of people you absolutely hate that for some reason, you cannot get away from them. The best you can do is ignore them.

52. If you’re required to take a Fitness class and you are a festively plump child or an unhealthy/unfit person such as myself, you are going to be embarrassed at some point. Look. I cannot give you advice that’s gonna raise your self-esteem, but I can tell you that if you don’t pay attention to anyone else, it’s much easier to get through that class. The fitness gram pacer test doesn’t last forever. Likewise, don’t treat fitness class like the fucking Olympics. The coach asked for 10 pushups not 100.

53. Extra Credit is your friend. Even if you have a 100 in a class, extra credit doesn’t hurt.

54. Do not walk slow in the hallway, please. I like getting to class on time. If you plan on having a conversation in the hallway, only do it if you walk and talk at a reasonable speed.

55. If you ride the bus, get up at least 45 minutes before the bus gets there. I don’t have a big morning routine, so half of the time in the morning, I just scroll through twitter. Wake up early enough to get everything done.

56. C’s get degrees, my friend, but C’s don’t get scholarships.

57. If you wear AXE Body Spray or any perfume/cologne, I want you to know that your smell occupies the entirety of the hallway you’re on. Please, use only a small amount of fragrance, because not only do they most likely stink, some kids have asthma and some kids are allergic to fragrances. Just refrain from wearing strange smelling spays.

58. If you’re a theatre kid or sport kid, don’t be completely set on becoming a professional singer/actor/athlete. Have a Plan B. The last thing counselors wanna hear when they ask you what you want to be when you grow up, is a NBA Player.

59. To all my shy people out there, that speech you have to give doesn’t last forever. In fact, it may only last 3 minutes. In my literature class, we were required to recite lines from Romeo and Juliet, for some odd reason, and I made such a big deal out of something that barely affected my grades.

60. For this last and FINAL tip of this post, don’t give up. I didn’t wanna be generic, but here the fuck! I! am!!! When I took AP World History, part of the reason I ‘failed’ was because I just stopped trying. I would make low C’s on the test and just think, “Well I didn’t pass, might as well just give up.” Well, no shit you didn’t read the chapter. If you’re trying all you’ve got and you’re just not making it, talk to the teacher. That’s one thing I regret from my freshman year. I just gave up. I didn’t try and get help because I felt that getting help meant that I was stupid. It doesn’t. It just means you’re smarter for trying to get a good grade.

WELL THAT’S ALL FOLKS! Sorry if my cursing doesn’t fit your aesthetic, too bad. I can probably think of 40 more tips to make this 100, but I didn’t want this post to be extremely long (lol good job on that). Anyways, if you ever want any help, feel free to message me, but I’m not that good at text conversations or conversations in general so I’m your last resort.

TO THE UPCOMING FRESHMAN: Have a great first year of high school! You’re about to enter a new life where the teachers are more serious and, yes, coloring still somehow counts as a grade.

TO THE UPCOMING SOPHOMORES: I know. You’ve only been here one year and your tired. Have hope. You’re one year closer to that diploma.

Dating Sebastian Stan and being younger than him would include...

Originally posted by buckysqueenbitch

A/N: I love Sebastian way too much and it’s probably not healthy

  • Him being insecure sometimes, thinking that you will find someone your age and leave him
  • You reassuring him that “that’s definitely not happening”
  • And him reassuring you too because you know, he’s always working with a lot of gorgeous women
  • Sebastian wanting to take things really slow
  • Definitely not putting you on the spotlight of fame
  • So he’s really protective over you
  • Calling you “baby”
  • Taking you to meet his mom and telling you that she’s gonna love you
  • You spending way too much time on his place
  • Him eventually telling you to just move in already
  • Travelling with him to places you’ve never been before when he’s on vacation
  • Him teasing you whenever you can’t do something
  • “Here, let me do this, you’re too young”
  • Sebastian covering your eyes whenever you two are watching a movie and there is a sex scene
  • Lazy make out sessions in the morning before he goes to the gym
  • Him supporting the career you wanna follow, it doesn’t matter which it is
  • “You know, when we get married…”
  • But knowing that you want to wait a little bit before actually getting married
  • You always sitting on his lap because it’s just too comfortable
  • Cooking for him 
  • And him definitely teasing you if you mess something up
  • “Kids are not supposed to play with stoves, babe”
  • You teasing him back whenever he calls his mom because he wants to eat something but doesn’t know the recipe
  • “There’s something called internet, you old man”
  • Romantic and passionate sex
  • Sebastian loving to take showers with you so he can wash your hair
  • Taking pictures of you but never posting them because he doesn’t like to share the cute and simple moments he lives with you
  • Defending you whenever someone says shit about you and/or the age gap between you two
  • Him taking you to meet Romania and the whole Europe on your birthday
  • Nose kisses
  • Long bear hugs before he has to leave/when he arrives
  • Him showering you with small but cute gifts
  • Talking about movies and cartoons from when he was just a kid
  • “Okay, that’s too old, Seb”
  • Tickling fights
  • Basically him always taking care of you because you’re the most amazing thing that ever happened to him