or become the minister of magic

Discworld Politics
  • Vetinari: You have two cows. You convince them they will better off with you alive and in control than not.
  • Sam Vimes: You have two cows. They are probably guilty of something. Loitering, probably.
  • Young Sam: Where are your cows? Those goes "baah." Those are sheep. They are not your cows.
  • Moist von Lipwig: You steal two cows. You convince everyone they are made of gold and sell them for a fortune. You get arrested and become Minister of Agriculture.
  • Tiffany Aching: You have two cows. An elf tries to steal them and you hit it with a frying pan.
  • Nac Mac Feegle: Someone has two cows. You steal them, then fight them, then fight yourself. You win.
  • Rincewind: You run away from cows.
  • Unseen University: You have two cows. One is caught up in a magical accident and is now a chair. The other has become a professor.
  • Sybil Ramkin: You have many cows. They aren't dragons, so you don't care. You have 37 dragons.
  • Nanny Ogg: You have a cow and a bull. You enjoy explaining how they will make more cows.
  • Granny Weatherwax: You wish Gytha would stop explaining how you get cows.
  • King Verence: You try to create an economic plan for your country based on bovine products; your people are too busy listening to Nanny Ogg.

it’s too bad that the fact that harry is quite literally the jesus christ of the wizarding world really damages his ability to follow his promising career as a professional seeker. viktor krum, best seeker in the world, genuinely compliments harry on how well he flies and harry starts to have an intelligent conversation with him about their techniques… ludo bagman ANOTHER professional athlete IMMEDIATELY comments upon harry’s incredible flying ability like… auror who???? like, relax. take a few years off and just go be the best seeker alive, why not? you are literally going to become minister of magic anyway at some point and you are literally swimming in ancestral peverell gold… go. go be a seeker. have a gay experience. travel the world in a kind-spirited and incredibly laid back environment. you’ll still have a lot of adventures but you might just be stoned for half of them. you’ve seen death harry. it’s time

Traitors -- Draco Malfoy x Reader

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: That night in detention NEVER HAPPENED

Originally posted by owlswithfins

“Malfoy is such a git,” Ron growled through gritted teeth during lunch in the Great Hall. “I mean, did you hear him going on and on about his father’s stupid promotion? He might as well have become Minister of Magic with the way that git brags about it.”

“Ron, don’t even joke about that,” said Hermione.

“Yeah, can you imagine if Mr. Malfoy actually became Minister?” Harry remarked darkly. “You might as well give the position to Voldemort.”

Don’t say that name!” Ron hissed.

“Ron, it’s not like the name is going to hurt you,” Harry retorted.

“Yeah, but still,” Ron grumbled as he stabbed his Yorkshire pudding. He then glanced in your direction. You were sitting beside them, quietly poking your apple pie while resting your chin in your hand. “Oy, (y/n).”

“Huh?” You jerked slightly and turned to your friends. “What, Ron?”

“Are you all right, (y/n)?” Hermione asked with concern. She studied you from across the table. “You’re usually never this quiet.”

Keep reading


                                        NOW I AM BECOME DEATH:

The war is over, and that should be all that matters, except in days such as these, it is fear that floods the cities of the wizarding world. It could be beautiful, perhaps, if one were to only observe the way the pureblood hold themselves, draped in silks, and unable to see what their rule has wrought to those below them. New formed power born of Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic both dead in their offices, werewolves roaming free and ruling streets, and a Ministry that displays its power with the gallows, letting public executions leave blood in their wake.

Over six months in this new world, many witches and wizards have become refugees, hiding among Muggles, and yet, some are not as lucky to escape, hiding underground or making their way through a rule Tom Riddle has created, some of them brainwashed by the new government and the terror they bring. While many work to abide by the law, simply stay alive in hope for safety, others listen for the whispers of a new organization just beginning, the Order of the Phoenix they call themselves.

Burnt, but will rise again. Burnt, but still alive, passing notes through a network of safehouses that have formed even among the highest levels of what the Ministry controls, all unwilling for their world to be taken away.

LIVE LIKE LEGENDS is a dystopian roleplay based on J.K. Rowling’s series Harry Potter and set during the Marauders era.


I really want to see an inversion of the popular idea of Hufflepuff/Slytherin friendship.

I want the stoic badass Hufflepuff who terrifies everyone except their Slytherin best friend. This Slytherin is the nicest and most charming person in school who gets along with everyone. Everyone is convinced these two friends were mis-sorted and can’t understand why they’re friends.

None of them realize that the charming Slytherin is a consummate politician with designs on becoming the Minister of Magic and radically reshaping the wizarding world for the better. They also don’t realize that the emotionless Hufflepuff is completely loyal to and utterly dedicated to protecting the Slytherin  and helping them change the world.

No one sees them coming.

you know that chapter in harry potter where the minister of magic shows up to inform the newly elected muggle prime minister of the uk about the fact that magic exists?

ok now imagine a world where donald trump becomes president and then the head of the american wizarding government has to explain to donald trump that magic is real

anonymous asked:

What careers do you think Albus and Scorpius have after Hogwarts?

I like Albus as an Auror. I think he’d like the adventures and casework. And I can see Scorpius doing a great number of things, including eventually becoming Minister for Magic, but I like him best as an Unspeakable. I think he’d thrive in an environment in which he was continuously exercising his thirst for knowledge.

You know, I once heard that someone say that Hermione deserved better and wasted her life after Hogwarts by marrying Ron, like her husband didn’t become an auror and she didn’t become minister of magic.

Even if you don’t ship Romione, clearly Hermione had no trouble reaching her goals even if she married Ron and had kids. How many magical governments do you run, punk?

anonymous asked:

I was on Pottermore, and I saw that Hermione becomes Minister of Magic after Kingsley. And I was like, yeah that makes sense since Mia's already on the Wizengamot, and I'm sure Sirius would think it's awesome and hilarious. And then I realized that Debt of Time wasn't actually the 8th book (but I truly believe it SHOULD be, and in my heart, it always will be!!).

I’ve literally had moments where I’m thinking about canon, and I can’t remember details because certain fanfics are so permanently in my head ♥


Wizard of the Month Archive 1/5: 2004-2005

Felix Summerbee (1447 – 1508) Inventor of Cheering Charms
Gwenog Jones (1968 – present) Captain and Beater of only all-female national Quidditch team, the Holyhead Harpies
Donaghan Tremlett (1972 – present) Bass player with the popular wizarding band The Weird Sisters.
Honoria Nutcombe (1665 – 1743) Founded The Society for the Reformation of Hags
Uric the Oddball (Medieval, dates unknown)Highly eccentric wizard who is famed, among other things, for wearing a jellyfish for a hat.
Glenda Chittock (1964 - present)Popular presenter of the W.W.N. (Wizarding Wireless Network) program Witching Hour.
Devlin Whitehorn (1945- present) Founder of the Nimbus racing broom company.
Ignatia Wildsmith (1227-1320) The witch who invented Floo powder.
Derwent Shimpling (1912 - present) Ate an entire Venemous Tentacula for a bet and survived, though still purple.
Artemisia Lufkin (1754 – 1825) First witch to become Minister for Magic.

problems w/ cursed child

-albus and scorpius didn’t get together
-they gave snape more of a redemption arc rather than acknowledging how shit he was, however they had harry yell at dumbledore about his flaws
-draco had a ponytail
-draco’s wife died
-the trolley woman was freaking weird
-albus was ostracized for being in slytherin
-cedric diggory became a death eater
-amos diggory blamed harry for cedric and was horrible to him
-voldemort procreated??? how though??? ew????
-when was bellatrix pregnant????
-if hermione had never married ron she would’ve become a miserable old wretch
-hermione could never have become minister of magic if she hadn’t married ron
-hermione owes all of her success and happiness to ron
-even though hermione was a fantastic witch with incredible leadership skills and an independent mind before she started dating ron after the battle of hogwarts, she never would’ve amounted to anything if she hadn’t been with ron

I'm thinking about writing a Fanfiction.



Hermione has become Minister of Magic but it has come at a cost. A workaholic, she’s hardly home for her two kids and husband.

So when a tragic accident takes her family away but spares her life, she will do anything to get them back. Anything.

Even meddling with time.

Landing smack dab in the 1960s, she’s at a complete loss. Her plan was a few days, not a few decades.

Going back in time was sketchy Magic, delving into the darker variety. Going forward could only be worse, but it’s not beneath her to work with some of the darkest witches and wizards history has ever known.

Not if it brought her back to her family.

Anything it took.


I’ve got this headcanon: we can all agree that Kingsley is one of the best ministers of magic the wizarding community has ever seen, but well even he can’t stay forever.
So after Kingsley retired, beloved and remembered for sorting things out after the second wizarding war, Percy finally becomes Minister of magic. At first he’s quite surprised because he had already given up on that dream, content with his life and work at the ministry, but then he is very happy and feels honoured
And Mrs Weasley is so proud ov her son that she throws a big party inviting the whole family and old friend from the order and knitting a sweater for Percy with the letters “MM” on them and makes him wear it and he turns so red, but is also very proud
And Arthur will always try to very subtly influence the muggle artefacts laws and George and Ron will create little figure that say some of the things Percy used to tell them as a prefect for people to buy at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes
And all the children like James and Lily and Fred etc. will tell all their classmates that the minister of magic is their uncle and Teddy Lupin will wear his hair red like he does sometimes, because he is already so integrated in the family that he considers Percy his uncle as well
And Percy will be so touched and make a great minister and go tell Fred’s portrait himself which will laugh at him and tell him “that the stuck up idiot finally did it”
And Percy will be a fucking brillant minister, supporting SPEW which makes Hermione very happy, but he will also be rather in control which gets Harry a slight bit annoyed in the auror office sometimes if Percy reminds him to hand in he reports in time
And Rita Skeeter will write a huge article for the daily prophet
Percy Weasley’s dream coming true and he’s fucking awesome at it

consider: hogwarts au version
  • gryffindor!keith
    • is good at all clases except for herbology
    • gets detention at least once a week 
    • probably a quidditch star 
  • lance is outraged because he ends up in hufflepuff but KEITH GETS TO BE IN GRYFFINDOR THAT SON OF A-
    • he makes peace with it by second year because hufflepuff is actually amazing
    • he still resents keith tho
    • when keith puts his name in the globet of fire he does so too out of pure rivalry and pettiness but ends up getting chosen
  • pidge is a hatstall and chooses slytherin over ravenclaw
    • all the holts are ravenclaws
    • mr holt teaches potions
    • pidge is a prodigy at transformations
    • based on grades would be chosen to be prefect but gets in detention way too often
  • hunk, to everyone’s surprise, is not a hufflepuff. 
    • he is in ravenclaw and a prefect by fifth year
    • he loves to hang with lance is the hufflepuff common room cause it’s so near to the kitchen
    • great at charms and awful at quidditch
  • shiro is in his seventh year by the time the others get to the school.
    • he is gryffindor’s head boy and star student.
  • allura is ravenclaw’s head girl and aims to become the youngest minister of magic of all history
  • coran is the odd dada professor and head of hufflepuff

 January 12th, 1985
by Barnabas Cuffe

After a month’s interim since Millicent Bagnold’s death, the Ministry of Magic and the entire Wiarding World breathes a sigh of relief as it welcomes its new Minister for Magic into office. Leona Victoria, 51, is said to be the brains behind the Ministry, and several Ministry officials, including Walden Macnair, have been quoted saying, “There is no better witch or wizard in all of Britain more qualified for this position.”

The Prophet had the privilege of speaking to one close friend of Victoria named Memoria Cattermole, who describes her as, “shrewd, intelligent, quick, formidable, and ruthless; everything the Wizarding World needs right now in the wake of a political and social disaster”.

Before becoming Minister for Magic, Victoria was head of the Magical Law Enforcement Division, and personally had a hand in putting the Ministry back together after the sudden death of Millicent Bagnold, and the purging of insufficient and dirty-blooded workers. Since, she has been scouting some of the best suited workers for each and every job in the Ministry bringing it up to its highest standard since it’s beginnings. Igor Karkaroff speaks highly of her as well, saying, “Tomorrow may be her first day, but we already feel confident in saying that we have never seen a more efficient or effective Minister, and it’s only going to get better from here.”

Leona Victoria is the first Minister for Magic who has not been voted into office.

Victoria’s personal staff has yet to be announced, but we have it on good authority that this will take place before the start of February. For now, she will be holding council with the heads of each department and her own political advisors.

Keeper of the Lost Cities Harry Potter/Hogwarts au

•Sophie is a Hufflepuff. 

•Dex is a Ravenclaw.

•Fitz and Biana are in Gryffindor. 

•Keefe is a Slytherin.

•Fitz and Keefe are both quidditch players. Fitz is a Keeper and Keefe is a Chaser.

•Magnate Leto is the headmaster.

•Councilor Emery is the Minister of Magic.

•Oralie is the Head of Hufflepuff House.

•Bronte is the Head of Slytherin House.

•Kenric is the Head of Gryffindor House.

•Terik is the Head of Ravenclaw House.

•Sophie’s patronus is a moonlark, Keefe’s is an alicorn, Biana’s is a kelpie, Dex’s is a unicorn, and Fitz’s is a dragon. (Bonus: Magnate Leto’s is a swan)

•Sophie has a cat named Iggy, Dex has a toad, Keefe and Fitz have owls, and Biana has a cat like Sophie. 

•Sophie’s favorite subject is Astronomy, Dex’s is Potions (it becomes Alchemy when he becomes a 6th year), Keefe’s is Care of Magical Creatures, Fitz’s is Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Biana’s is Transfiguration.

•Fitz, Biana and Keefe are purebloods.

•Dex is a halfblood. 

•Sophie’s blood status is unknown due to her not knowing who her biological parents are.

  Here’s my second KOTLC AU. If anyone has any more ideas for this I would really love it if you can help! More AUs should be up soon hopefully. (thanks to @dexphie and @song-of-the-moonlark for helping me out on choosing the houses to put Sophie and Dex in. Also thanks to @ella-and-mr-snuggles for the moonlark patronus idea for Sophie. If anyone has any questions about this AU then you can message me about it.)

Imagine an au where the characters from The Office are transported to the Harry Potter universe, and the whole time Dwight is freaking out and screaming at characters for the mistakes they’ll make and trying to be promoted to the Minister of Magic, all while wearing his homemade Gryffindor robes and sporting his fake wand. Jim is just in shock that it’s real, and he wishes he would have listened to Dwight’s Harry Potter lectures. Kevin heads straight for the kitchens. Oscar finds Dumbledore fascinating, and they spend hours talking. Michael gets hexed five minutes after they get there because he made a crude joke to McGonagall about witches and broomsticks. Angela wants to die because there’s so much witchcraft. Andy becomes a Weird Sisters groupie, and Stanley never even notices they left the office.