or bang him

anonymous asked:

whats the story behind burn

Oh shit. (I have to remember I signed up for this).

Burn was supposed to be a lot shorter. Your typical, run of the mill scars-on-the-outside-and-inside fanfic trope. They have a misunderstanding, they apologize, they bang. I could write that in my sleep.

The more I wrote though, I knew there were implications I could not wrap up in the time I had allotted. There is a five-line scene that I started writing, super early on, where they have sex somewhere later in the story, Cassian freaking out because of his leg and Jyn already knowing about it, even though he was avidly trying to hide it. The initial tone was romantic and hopeful but… Jyn had her own trauma. Cassian’s trauma was not something she could bang out of him. That was too much of a sloppy fix-it. So I kept… wedging material before it. And the more I added, the less it suited the story I was telling. And I decided to roll with the change in material, just because a topic is hard doesn’t mean it’s off limits, and it was cathartic to write. Did I know what happened in chapter 5 was going to happen since the beginning? No, but it all fell into place pretty readily. So I know the game plan now, and I’m much prouder of it. During this change in story I had a point where I genuinely feared the entire direction I had taken, so that led to reaching out to several loyal readers and people in the fandom, and that helped me slow down, focus, and tackle only what I thought I could handle. 

In a large way, this is penance for a similarly toned (but much more poorly handled) ptsd fic I did my senior year of high school which was a disaster to re-read. I did not know what I was talking about. These are topics that are important to me, and very close to my own life experience since then, and I wanted to do this discussion justice. 

And honestly, I write this because I feel sad a lot. And I wanted a sad story with emotional resonance. But also hope, and a solid relationship built on respect; not co-dependence and sex. 

Also, speaking of sad,  (cutoff for spoilers for the ending I haven’t written yet, if you want fresh eyes for the final chapter I’d ignore this):

Keep reading

8

from your (questionable) bath robe, curly hair, full cheeks & huge smile to your silent but observant personality, we’re so happy to have you back as b.a.p’s leader! i hope this day you realise how special you are & bask in all the praises that we give you! ♡

happy #bbangday my angel ✨

3

very lazy portraits of some of my favorite companions so far

8

You exhibit heart and empathy in many situations. Also, the passion that you bring to your role as Pathfinder does not go unnoticed by those who work alongside you. In fact, it may be a component in drawing others to you.

The signs as “Date a boy who...” suggestions

-taken from the lovely @dateaboysuggestion !

Aries: date a boy who laughs at every one of your stupid jokes

Taurus: date a boy who likes looking at the stars

Gemini: date a boy with lots of freckles and beauty marks in unique places

Cancer: date a boy who loves his mom

Leo: Date a boy who fist bumps you after you bang him

Virgo: date a boy who can’t sing very well but will belt out all the lyrics to his favorite song in an instant

Libra: Date a boy who says ‘I want to kiss you, is that ok?’ and waits for you to give permission

Scorpio: date a boy who when he gets drunk wont stop telling you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you

Sagittarius: date a boy who’ll make you playlists of your favorite music

Capricorn: date a boy who loves history and will engage in a political debate at any moment.

Aquarius: Date a boy who ends every call with 'dont die’

Pisces: date a boy who wants to protect you