or at least in my mind

Vivillias- “Are you wearing my shirt?”

More Vivillias, because you can never have enough!! Really short and spontaneous fic, because I needed to clear my mind about from studying.


As soon as the meeting was over, Kallias winnowed away from the Summer Court as fast as he could. Tarquin had offered them rooms to stay at, but Kallias had wanted to go home to his mate.  It was already late enough as it was and he had been there for three days.  

The heat had become stifling in that time, summer blowing in full force on the eastern coastline of Adriata and Kallias, used to the harsh and unforgiving cold weather of the Winter Court, was uncomfortable to say the least.

The sun had set hours ago and a small breeze had flowed through the open meeting room where they had discussed for the past few days.  Kallias was grateful for the breeze, but he was even happier as he winnowed away, already bidding farewell to the other High Lords and High Lady, and landed in the snow of the Winter Court.  

Frozen wind whipped across his face, and snowflakes gathered on his jacket as he stamped off his boots before entering the palace.

The halls were silent so late at night, and guards on duty nodded to him as he passed by.

He walked quietly down the hall towards their rooms.  Viviane had not come to this meeting, as High Lady of the Winter Court, she had stayed behind to settle some of her own matters in the time he was away.  

The aftermath of Amarantha had hit them hard, and she had stayed to deal with those issues while he dealt with the High Lords.  

Kallias hated leaving Viviane, even for only such a short time.  Fifty years had been too long, and he never wanted to spend another moment without her.  

Kallias turned the knob into their bedroom quietly as to not wake his sleeping mate.  His boots were already off and he quickly unbuttoned his jacket and pants, throwing them over a chair.

He was so exhausted he thought he might just pass out as soon as his head hit the pillow.  

As he padded over to the bed he slowly pulled back the covers and dived under their warmth.  

The bed shifted beneath him and Viviane curled up on her side next to him.  Apparently he hadn’t been as quiet as he thought, or she just knew he was home, whether it had something to do with the mate bond, or some other instinct, he didn’t know.

Viviane buried her face into his neck and placed a hand on his chest, giving a sleepy sigh.  He wrapped one of his arms around her and kissed her forehead, running his hand down her hip to her bare legs. When his hands ran back up they got tangled in her shirt.  Then he noticed, “Are you wearing my shirt?” he whispered to his mate.

Viv nodded, and mumbled, “I missed you while you were away.”

It was his favorite shirt and he had to admit, he loved when she wore his clothes; loved when she was wrapped in his scent.

Kallias smiled sleepily as he kissed her softly this time, shifting lower into the blankets and closer to his mate before promptly falling asleep.

Someone’s gotta do it

I don’t normally offer advice, dating or otherwise, at least not prompted or without a whole bunch of qualifiers. I’ll start by saying I have no credentials beyond that I used to not believe in healthy human relationships, but 20 years into actual Happily Ever After have given me hope.  

So here you go:

Talk. 

Talk your little heads off. Talk about everything. How you feel about sports, kids, trees, bees, pollution, politics, religion. Say stupid things. Say the things you think about worry about wonder about. Say the things you fear will chase someone off. Say the things you hope one day to share with someone who finds you charming, hilarious, valuable, valid. Say the things. Say all the things. None of this third date, fifth date, middle of the night drunken text stuff after one month or two or six or some arbitrarily set milestone.

Because yes, absolutely, someone will leave you. 

Someone will find you not to their liking. And you’ll find folks not to yours. And wouldn’t you rather find that out now? Wouldn’t you rather know early enough that you can cut your losses and go? Rather than spend decades in a relationship with a stranger, rather than spend a lifetime with someone you feel is judging you, laughing at you, disapproving of you?

Because someone else is going to love you.

Someone else is going to laugh at your stupidest jokes if for no reason other than that you said them, eyes crinkling at the corners, lips stretching wide over your own audacity. They’re going to want to know about your dullest day at work and how you got toner on your favorite slacks. They’re going love your quoting song lyrics or movies. Or misremembering the lines of your favorites children’s book. They’re going to love your sleepy wonderings and your pre-coffee grumblings and your ramblings. My goodness they’re going to love your ramblings. They’re going to text/email/call you in the middle of the day just to see how your morning’s gone, even if it’s just like every other morning, and they’re going to tell you they love you because you should know. You’re going to go to bed like every night is a sleepover still talking and laughing about the same ridiculous thing you did last year or the year before. 

Because you’re going to love all of that about them too. 

One of the most wonderful things about loving someone is wanting to share the world with them and wanting to see the world through their eyes. 

SO TALK. 

Talk on those first dates, those first texts or whatever you kids are using for first contacts these days. Be yourself. Make real connections or don’t. Cut your losses. Keep looking. Because the last thing you want is a UnHappily Ever After with a stranger who doesn’t care what’s going on between your ears. The last thing any of us should want is an UnHappily Ever After with someone whose mind we don’t know and love.

I’m not careful.
I’ve dropped more things than I can count
I trip over at least once a day
I walk into things much bigger than me
Because I don’t pay attention.


But I pay attention when people talk
I notice quirks and mannerisms
I remember small details
And store them like secrets
Like precious treasures.


I’m accident-prone
My hands are covered in cuts
My legs are covered in bruises
And I barely notice
Because it’s normal now.


But I’m mindful of their personal space
I’m careful of their boundaries
I’ll swallow my words and my heart
To keep others comfortable
And put them at ease.


I fall out of chairs
I trip up staircases
I slip on wet floors
And I spill enough coffee each week
To fill an entire new cup.


I’m not careful
Not with myself, at least
But with other people?
My hands will always be steady
And my heart will always hold you safe.

— 

L. Davidson

(You’re safe with me, I promise)

Making of an Eldritch
Snowish
Making of an Eldritch

Okayyyyy I’ll post it publicly why not!

A little fansong of sorts for Black Hat!

Some notes:

  • My voice does not have the best range in the world I’m sorry if I make your ears cry
  • I wasn’t really sure what the subject would be about and as I wrote it, it ended up being like… an ‘origin story’ about how Black Hat got his powers? As in, if he wasn’t always the way he is. Blah blah headcanon blah
  • Lyrics below the cut! (There are a couple of Spanish lines, with translations–I hope they’re right, or at least in the ballpark. My Spanish is rather rusty)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Things I want: Quirkless Izuku AU where he is a general studies student but still manages to kick ass in the sports festival almost exactly how he did in the show/manga... at least up until the one on one fights, where Todoroki kinda just ices him, and then Izuku gives him a heart to heart while he melts him (poor Todoroki is just thinking, "I just ruined your chances at being a finalist... why the hell you giving me a pep-talk and how did you figure out I hate my dad? (Izuku overheard them)).

Awww! You know, I heard somewhere that Horikoshi did originally intend for Izuku to stay quirkless but someone else changed his mind, so I feel like this may have been the what would have happened?

I can sort of imagine Izuku and Shouto envying each other in a way. Izuku could have pursued his dream if he had a quirk like Shouto’s, and Shouto could have had a happier life out of his father’s attention if he’d been born without one.

in this world, there is only right and wrong
they are right
and we are wrong
(at least, that’s what they make us believe)

i dream of a better earth
one that does not want to suppress us
one that accepts who we are
what we are facing
and stands not against us
but by us
for our minds are already our enemies
and we do not need any more

i want to speak about what plagues us
without being silenced
i want to be me again
maybe then i
maybe then we
can begin to breathe
—  s.a. // 05.23.17
“begin.” from breathe: a collection of poems on mental health and the internet

MY mind is reeling and it will take me at least one (1) business day to get over the finale but all that’s stuck in my head currently is that Maggie said “Excuse me?” because she thought she couldn’t possibly be hearing right because who would want to spend the rest of their life with her and who would love her enough to do that and how could someone as amazing as Alex be That Person™. And Alex’s poor gay soul is like ‘fuck that wasn’t romantic at all and now she’s not gonna say yes and how do proper proposals work I’ve never enjoyed those movies’ so she adds 'Please’ to try to smooth it over and there’s desperation in her voice and damn my brain and heart are broken

I’ve been having another moment of self reflection. I tend to get these a lot. Anyways, I sometimes feel like I do what I do for the wrong reasons.

When I first made this blog, it was to celebrate and gush over the awesomeness that is the Hannibal series as well as the hannigram ship. Now? I hardly talk about the show and I rarely draw hannigram. It’s always gotta include Adam Towers somehow and everything just amounts to what could be compared to me saying “hey guys look at my OCs!”. At least that’s the picture that voice of doubt paints in my mind. I know this fandom is full of AUs and headcanons so I shouldn’t doubt myself.

Also, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing this for me or if I’m doing this for everyone else. For popularity. I feel like I’ve gone so far off track with everything and it’s affecting me in a not so great way. I draw Hannitowers and Double Helix because I enjoy it. I DO draw it for me, but there’s always that voice of doubt again saying “why bother it’s never going to pick up as much steam as Hannigram or any other popular ship” or “why bother you’re just going to alienate some people” and I shouldn’t feel that way. I should be drawing it simply because i love it and not care if it’s popular or not. I just live to please others so once I start deviating away from that and start doing what I want to do i feel selfish and I feel like it will never be as good. I don’t know why I’m like this.

Sorry if none of y'all wanted to see this. I just felt the need to kinda just pour out my thoughts. I’m sure I’ll get over it in time.

gyakutensaibanvsaceattorney replied to your posti’ve lost so many followers over the past few days…

What’s happening here? Why is this gracious blog losing followers?

Cause this gracious blog made a few posts about being rude to fans.

drakojana said:

People can’t handle one normal person in the fandom?

Guess not. 


I get that it was a few posts in a row, but sometimes shit comes up, and I was in a foul mood so I said what was on my mind. And I guess some people don’t like someone calling them out (even if it’s not directed at them in particular at all) on shit behavior.

I did say that people aren’t welcome here if they act like brats over how people were born (race, gender, sexuality, etc), so maybe they took that to heart and left. Though honestly I’d rather people change their ways (or at least be open to the idea) than just up and leave, sticking instead with people who agree with them.

There’s a reason I tend to stay away from “fandoms,” and it’s because they’re so chock-full of toxic attitudes. ‘lmao men only like godot cause he’s a sexist pig’ ‘look at those str8s thinking phoenix and edgeworth are just FRIENDS when they’re CLEARLY the gayest gays ever to gay’ god, just quit, y’know? It’s so much more fun to enjoy a video game than it is to constantly be angry about how you assume different people view it.

And then there’s the antis. The people who will scream from the rooftops that Phoenix/Maya is pedophilia, or that Miego glorifies abuse because a powerful woman like Mia could NEVER love a man like Diego who obviously thought she was just a pair of big boobs. The people who slander users for shipping a man and a woman, because the world already has enough straights in it so that means every fictional character has to be gay. Except Larry Butz, because he’s annoying and no one likes him. So he can be the straight one. Wow, all this fighting homophobia is tiring!

If your “activism” involves putting people down for laughs, maybe take a step back and recognize that you’re helping no one. If your “activism” involves hurting people over fictional characters, maybe refer to the previous action. 

This isn’t fighting the good fight. This is bullying in its most pathetic form, and I’m sick of seeing it permeate everything I love.

anonymous asked:

How many orgasms have you had in one hypnosis session?

i have no idea honestly…this is such a hot question but i dunno… Master has total control of my orgasms at the moment so whenever he does let me cum i really explode lol… waves of pleasure that just seem to last forever… or at least last so long that the combination of submission and arousal that intense just makes me let go completely and my mind just evaporates… so idk, a lot haha

Some Highlights from “The Music of Rogue One” Panel at SWCO17 (aka the panel that blew my mind)

So since I can’t find any filmed version of the “Music of Rogue One” panel with David W. Collins I’ll post some of the highlights here. I’m a music theory nerd myself but I was surrounded by people who have never paid attention to music analysis and were still moved to tears so I encourage everyone to check this out (and watch the panel please if it’s ever made available.)

  • the Panel began with Collins discussing the legacy of John Williams and the Star Wars main theme specifically. He discussed how it was originally meant to be Luke Skywalker’s theme, and how that interpretation can still hold true considering Star Wars is the Skywalker Saga
  • The coolest thing pointed out re the main theme is that it’s musical construction mirrors the structure of the Hero’s Journey, the monomyth structure that all of Star Wars revolves around. It rises suddenly with the call to adventure, then builds with the journey, drops during the abyss, is reborn with another musical rise, then returns to the beginning. Collins emphasized that Williams is without a doubt a musical genius and that Michael Giacchino had a big challenge in making a score that lived up to William’s legacy while standing on it’s own. This was a challenge he more than met, as this panel made clear.
  • Now moving on to Rogue One, Collin’s discussed the title theme “Hope.” This theme is clearly heard over the title of the film, during Jyn’s big speech to the Rebellion, and throughout the film.
  • Collins pointed out that, like the main Star Wars theme, “Hope” echos the structure of the film itself. There are heroic major key moments in the theme, but it ends in a melancholy way that almost sounds unfinished. It represents the sacrifice at the center of the film. This is a story of incredible heroism that merely paves the way for others to finish the journey. 
  • Collins moved on to discuss the musical themes for each character in Rogue One, with a lot of focus on Jyn’s theme. Jyn’s theme is the most frequently heard piece along with “Hope” in the film. In fact, we hear it three times in the film’s prologue alone.
  • The fascinating thing Collins pointed out is Giacchino’s use of Dies Irae throughout the score. Dies Irae, or Day of Wrath, is the medieval hym describing the end of the world. It is sung during funeral masses and musically is quoted widely to represent death
  • EVERY CHARACTER THEME IN ROGUE ONE IS STRUCTURED AROUND DIES IRAE. Jyn, Chirrut, Baze, even Krennic, ALL OF THEM
  • Giacchino was signaling from the beginning that this is a story about death. He wrote the sacrifice of these characters right into their themes.
  • A notable use of Dies Irae beyond character themes is it’s repetition as Cassian and Jyn begin to climb the tower in the archive during the climax. The first two notes of Dies Irae are repeated as they do so. When Krennic walks down the hallway with his Death Troopers, all three notes play (death literally chasing them). And when Jyn almost drops, than catches the data tapes, Dies Irae is replaced by “Hope”
  • Jyn’s theme in particular is a melancholy theme centered on Dies Irae, but with a lovely, lullaby like feeling. It tells you from the beginning that Jyn’s is a story of hope and inspiration but also death and sacrifice.
  • An interesting use of Jyn’s theme and “Hope” together is during Jyn’s speech to the Rebellion. First we here “Hope” swell as Jyn speaks to the Rebels. Then when her speech is shot down, the theme drops, replaced by Jyn’s theme. This represents that it is Jyn herself who inspires the sacrifice that will eventually bring on the Hope. Jyn is the hope.
  • Another mind blowing moment was a musical parallel that Collins pointed out with the character of Bodhi Rook. In the scene where he recalls his mission, repeating “I’m the pilot, I brought the message,” listen for the flutes. That exact same flute theme plays in A New Hope when Luke discovers Leia’s message hidden in R2. By doing this,  Giacchino is directly mapping the journey of “the message.” Bodhi receives the message of the Death Star and how it can be destroyed from Galen, he brings it to Jyn, who with Rogue One, transmit the message, which ends up in the hands of Leia, then to R2, then to Luke, who must return it to the Rebellion. Those flutes represent the origin of the message with Bodhi through to A New Hope.
  • This panel was full of mind blowing moments, but the most mind blowing moment by far was another musical connection to A New Hope. After we had become very familiar with Jyn’s theme over the course of the panel, Collin’s played a scene from A New Hope for us. It was the moment when Obi-Wan asks Luke to come with him to Alderaan and Luke resists. When Obi-Wan says he’s getting too old for this sort of thing, Jyn’s theme plays clearly under Luke’s hesitation. In the original context, a hint of Dies Irae was WIlliam’s way of foreshadowing Obi-Wan’s death, but after Giacchino used that musical queue to build Jyn’s theme, it suddenly has deeper meaning. It’s Jyn’s sacrifice calling to Luke, compelling him to be the hope she fought for. And it is connecting Obi-Wan’s eventual sacrifice with that of Jyn and her comrades.  
  • Collins also highlighted how Giacchino’s score for the final moments of the film, from Jyn’s confrontation with Krennic through the arrival of Vader and the death of Jyn and Cassian, is unconventional and incredibly effective. Jyn’s confrontation with Krennic is silent, no music, unexpected for such a key moment. Only when Cassian appears does the music return. And throughout the final sequence, as we witness horrifying destruction, death. the arrival of the Death Star and Vader’s Star Destroyer, the score stays distant, gentle, melancholy. It does not highlight the horror. It steps back and mourns over it, like the eyes of history or the Force itself, honoring the sacrifice. 
  • So yeah Giacchino’s score for Rogue One is brilliant, Williams’ music for Star Wars is brilliant, this panel was brilliant, and I can never get enough of analyzing Star Wars scores.

Here’s the thing for me. About those scenes with Merle and “John.”

At the start, I couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed that Clint wasn’t asking different questions. Travis clearly had the same thoughts I did–tactically, Merle was playing it poorly. He gave more information than he needed and asked vague questions that didn’t yield practical intel on how to fight the Hunger. 

If it had been Taako, he’d have asked clever questions and been focused on getting info out of the Hunger, on besting it. If it had been Magnus, he would have straight up asked, “how do we kill you” and likely learned at least something from that. But this wasn’t Taako’s or Magnus’s role to play. 

Merle was approaching parley the way it was meant to be approached. Not as a warrior looking for a way to kill the Hunger, but as a diplomat trying to understand it. He approached it with an open mind. To the point where he was eventually able to ask “are you my friend?” 

He asked that of this nightmare entity, this thing that’s caused so much death and suffering–that’s killed him dozens of times. Maybe he’s just that able to open his heart. Or maybe despite the religious ideals he tries to project as a cleric, he’s someone who–whether the person in question is a human, or a god, or a sinister consuming force—just wants people to like him. 

Whatever the reason, he was able to look at the Hunger and try to reason with it. To talk to it earnestly about the value of life, and hope.

It didn’t listen. And when it didn’t listen, I actually believe Merle was disappointed. That for a moment he had hoped the Hunger could be better. Instead, he told the Hunger off, and said he didn’t want to see him anymore. 

And the Hunger is sad. For the first time in who even can guess how long, the Hunger feels sorrow, and regret. Because for a moment he had a friend, and then he lost that friend. Because of his own actions.

Merle didn’t learn how to kill the Hunger, he didn’t learn any information that could help them slow it down or get to the Light of Creation faster. But what he did hurt it more than any weapon ever could.