or at least

My perfect day.

The Seven Stages of Fanfiction
  1. Oh my god people actually write and read this kind of thing? Jesus fuck.
  2. Hey guys, I’m totally reading this fanfic, it’s so pathetic, it’s just HILARIOUS! We should get together and dramatic-read them to each other!
  3. Oh hey this is actually pretty funny…
  4. Oh wow this one has a sex scene in it…
  5. It’s kinda hot…
  6. I wonder if there are more like this…
  7. /reading homoerotic smutfucs off your mobile in bed at night when everyone else is asleep.

me (before) as a casual football fan: oh cool, a match to watch. what a great goal. aw. missed opportunity. a draw? sure. okay.

me now: 20 more minutes until the match. oh god. it’s starting. omg! what are they doing? no! we’re going to die. i might be dying right now. i can’t breathe. a draw? a fucking draw? are you fucking kidding me? we suck.

DA BB snippet

Fen’Harel shook his head. “As much as I want to protect the girl, I am not a fool… if it came down to losing her or losing all the rest, I have to be willing to make that sacrifice.”
Mythal nodded slowly. “Good. I will admit, da’fen, I had my concerns.”
He smiled softly. “It would take far more than a pretty face to sway me from my course.”

… Oh, hello unintended parallel. Where the hell did you come from?