or acknowledges them in any way

so i know we’ve already talked about it but i just wanna say it again because i think about louis and all that he is and he’s just so…. so…. important and it makes me mad because i don’t think people realize how important he is sometimes?

because you’ve got these songwriters or whoever coming out of the woodwork now, saying that “oh, yeah, that louis! haha such an arrogant, messy kid…. thought he was SO much better than what we were offering.” but you know what? everything 1D was offered was the bare minimum and would have stunted the band’s growth. everything about 1D was set up to fulfill the boyband formula and then ultimately fail, but louis tomlinson pushed against that. of course it was a team effort, and the success of 1D is due to all of them, but louis, by the band and other people’s own admission (however bitter it may be) spearheaded that. so from where i’m standing, louis was vital in keeping the 1D heartbeat alive. he gave them the depth they were looking, not just with his vocal abilities – because 1D would be 2-dimensional without him – but he fought to give them liberties that the people in charge of them wanted to squander. he was trusted with the futures of four boys (not including his own, which is a big responsibility itself) and handled it all so gracefully. maybe not imperfectly, but tactfully and smartly. the evidence is in the fact that you’ve got hundreds of thousands of people (im)patiently waiting for 1D’s return. he took care of his band, he takes care of his fans, he handles his business with fight and determination. and not to be dramatic, but i don’t know where any of us would be without him.

these people are always going to say whatever they want about him. “he’s a dick,” “he’s a brat,” “he’s (this),” “he’s (that)”…. that’s how they’re always gonna see him, and i hate it but the satisfaction i get when i realize that, for these people, acknowledging louis for who he is and what he’s done for the band would mean acknowledging what an intelligent, brilliant, business-wise person he is/was with barely any corporate experience under his belt…. and how acknowledging that would mean realizing that the 1D empire is the way it is, in large part because of him and what /he/ did… man. yeah, all these people can shut up and keep his name out of their mouths for sure, but i feel pretty content knowing how bitter they are at the fact that this kid knew what he was doing, had the guts to stand up to them for what he and his band wanted, AND got to see the fruit of his labor. 

louis is so important, and i 1000% believe (and am waiting for the day) he’ll come out on top, and rule his kingdom with the same compassion and power and strength that he does now. it’s going to be amazing. 

like can we talk about how fandom treats latino men? specifically the blatant and unapologetic sexualization of them?

poe dameron. cassian andor. gabriel reyes. jesse mccree. james vega. reyes vidal. raphael santiago. lance mcclain.

(and before you argue that jesse isn’t canonically latino, every single latino jesse fic/post/art comes hand in hand with some transparent “latin lover” bullshit where he sweet talks someone in spanish or uses his ~latin charm~ in some way or another)

and this is specifically about the treatment in lgbt fandom spaces. you guys aren’t immune to perpetuating racist tropes and you do it without any sort of acknowledgement or desire to change. even if there’s been some retrospection into the poorly written bilingual characters in fic recently, yet people continue to write and spread posts about every other racist aspect of the latin lover trope.

making them all promiscuous and overtly sexual? making them all “rough and dirty in bed”? giving them all “dirty mouths” and describing them with “deep, low voices” and talking about their accents using sexual descriptors? these all tie back to racist tropes that contribute to the sexualization of latino men.

it’s not subtle. it’s not “sexy”. it’s tiring and the lack of acknowledgement that it’s happening outside of reblogging a post about it every once in a while is really fucking transparent

Magneto is the most prominent Jewish comic book character. To a lot of people who don’t know comics, he might be the only one they know unless they noticed the menorah in the background of young Ben Grimm’s house in Fan4stic or they remember Kitty Pryde lighting a menorah in a quick cut scene in the Christmas episode of X-Men Evolution (also, at some point people should find better ways to acknowledge Judaism then menorahs).

Making a hero created by Jewish writers to fight Hitler affiliate with Nazis is in incredibly bad taste.

Making any of the Jewish characters (even someone like Iceman or Polaris who’s backgrounds are Jewish even if they aren’t practicing) affiliate with Nazis is wrong.

Making a character who is a Jewish Holocaust survivor affiliate with Nazis is disgusting. 

But taking the most prominent Jewish character in all of comic books, the only one to be the star of six blockbuster movies, with multiple ones of them explicitly focusing on his Jewish background and the resulting persecution, and making him affiliate with Nazis, that is not just in bad taste, its not just wrong, and its not just disgusting. 

It is blatant and it is violent. It would be in ANY climate, but with the recent waves of antisemitism and the rise of neo Nazis it is doubly so. 

I am livid. I am sad. 

And it is unacceptable. 

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

  • parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
  • parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
  • parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
  • parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
  • parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
  • parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
  • parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
  • parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
  • parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
  • parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
  • parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
  • parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
  • parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat 
  • parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
  • parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
  • parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

  • parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
  • parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
  • parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
  • parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
  • parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
  • parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
  • parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
  • parent shamed me for my physical appearance
  • parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
  • parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
  • parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
  • parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
  • parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
  • parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
  • parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
  • parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
  • parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
  • parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
  • parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
  • parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
  • parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
  • parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
  • parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
  • parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
  • parent assured me that nobody will ever want me 
  • parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
  • parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
  • parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
  • parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
  • parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
  • parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
  • parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
  • parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

  • parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
  • parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
  • parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
  • parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
  • parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
  • parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it 
  • parent threatened to leave me
  • parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
  • parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
  • parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
  • parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
  • parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
  • parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

  • parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
  • parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
  • parent didn’t notice I was injured
  • parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
  • parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma 
  • parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
  • parent didn’t notice I was depressed
  • parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
  • parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
  • parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
  • parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
  • parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
  • parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
  • parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
  • when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

  • parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
  • parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
  • parent only gave me minimal money to survive 
  • parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
  • parent took the money I earned from me
  • parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
  • parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
  • parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
  • parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
  • parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
  • parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
  • parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
  • parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

I think the worst thing that fandom culture and the increasing acknowledgement of fandom culture from creators has wrought is this

incredible amount of entitlement that people in said fandoms get like

just because creators know something is a thing in a fandom doesn’t mean they have to do it or else they hate their fans. It’s a consistent thing I’m seeing more and more in fandoms and it’s getting worse. Like all the steven universe garbage that’s happened over that show’s run and now overwatch like

people are wishing other people dead because a robot ninja and an angel woman are dating. and there are people who are legit horrified at the sheer concept of characters being straight and I’m just sat here wondering how they can possibly tolerate real life.

the fact that people get so entrenched in what they perceive as author approval when their ships and headcanons aren’t immediately shut down, despite said author interacting with the fanbase, that their mental health deteriorates when something contradictory is even hinted at is just sickening like

I just went on twitter and saw people legitimately wanting to kill a man on the overwatch team because of gency and like

its. not. yours.

you do not own overwatch. you do not own steven universe. you do not own anything you’re fandoming so hard over. rebecca sugar could tomorrow have pearl confess her love to renaldo and the overwatch team could make torbjornXpharah and both of them would be canon because it’s THEIR CREATION AND THEY DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS.

THEY get to decide what to do with it. Not you. It is NOT YOURS.

I absolutely think fandom/tumblr culture has led to more death threats and harassment than any other thing on the internet and I think if creators want to avoid it, the best way is to just stop acknowledging the fandoms. Because they’ll twist whatever they can get their filthy hands on so they can shit on other people and never feel remorse or grow as people because they’re doing it to be “progressive”

things i love about my hero academia

(not all of them because then this would turn into a 500 page journal that could be published and sold and no one would buy it because no one is as much of a nerd as i am)

  • our main protagonist is not a traditionally masculine hero. he’s small, he’s weak, he’s a crybaby, he’s sensitive. especially in the shounen genre, this is a pretty rare thing to see, and even as Izuku grows as a person and becomes more confident in himself, he’s still shy and anxious.
  • he’s also a fanboy!! and not in a bad way!! it’s his fanboy nature that allows him to express himself and show how smart, intuitive, and observant he is
  • the character who does get all the traditionally masculine traits is the character everyone in the main cast acknowledges is a total asshole who mercilessly bullied and abused his classmate/childhood playmate
  • it’s also very clearly seen that Izuku has been conditioned (unintentionally) to fear Bakugou because of all of that physical and emotional abuse. just because he’s a hero in training and he’s learning and growing and becoming more confident doesn’t erase all of those years of bullying
  • it’s also acknowledged that they are children and still have room to grow. Bakugou is an asshole, but he’s not totally villainized for his behavior and is given the chance to change and become a better person because he’s only sixteen years old and still has time to change
  • and he does!! he makes an effort to change and try to adjust his behavior to make a more positive impact (even if it is a slow and arduous process, we do see him make great strides throughout the manga)
  • it would have been really easy to just throw Bakugou under the bus and make him a villain, but instead we get to see his growth as a person as he matures and enters the world of adulthood
  • All Might is the no. 1 hero, the Symbol of Peace, the man everyone thinks is invincible, and he has a chronic condition. he’s missing his stomach, he’s had multiple surgeries, he spits up blood, he literally looks like a skeleton, guys. but even after the reveal, people still admire and look up to him as an idol because he’s still All Might and he still protected and saved a lot of lives and was still a hero
  • All Might’s relationship with Izuku just in general. seriously, i could make an entirely different list just based on their relationship and 95% of the fandom has already talked about them, so i won’t gush about their relationship too much here
  • the fact that most of the adults take responsibility when they fuck up. the police force realize they’ve relied too heavily on heroes, specifically All Might, and they make an effort to change that so they can help people. the teachers at UA recognize that they’ve neglected students who need psychological help. Izuku’s mom acknowledges that she should have encouraged his dream in spite of his quirklessness. most stories, even in the west, don’t have nearly as much adult responsibility as this series does
  • the elusive living anime mom
  • okay but seriously, Inko is quite possibly one of the best fictional moms i’ve seen in a long time. she’s loving and encouraging and she tries her hardest, but she’s not perfect. she’s a single mom caring for her son, who wants to go into this incredibly dangerous profession. and when he gets hurt enough times, when her limit is finally met, she puts her foot down and says “no. i love you, but i can’t let you keep getting hurt like this.” like any reasonable parent would. and the only way she relents is when she sees how much Toshinori wants to teach him and nurture him and encourage him and see his dream recognized and she sees how badly Izuku wants to continue down this path, even if it’s under her terms.
  • this series seriously tackles a lot of topics that you wouldn’t expect it to. you know you’re gonna get the usual topics like what makes a hero, what makes a villain, etc. but, it also goes over other subjects like bullying, parental abuse, discrimination, grief, inferiority complexes, how easy it is to create a monster, redemption. this is a manga about teenagers learning to be super heroes, how did it turn out like this
  • it would have been so easy to sexualize any of the girls. this manga, in the hands of a lesser author, would have featured a lot of fan service shots of the girls. Momo especially, considering she wears a very revealing outfit. and yet, none of them are sexualized?? in any way shape or form??? yeah, we see Momo shirtless a lot and some girls wear skin tight outfits. but, you know who else has skin tight outfits and revealing hero costumes? the boys. and when we do see a shirtless girl or boy, it’s not framed in a way where we’re meant to be objectifying their body. there’s a reason why it happened and we move on. it’s so refreshing.
  • (there are only two fan service female characters. one uses her sexuality to get free shit and the other is meant to make you uncomfortable. take it what you will)
  • we get a lot of unique designs for each of the characters. there are no same faces. each character has a unique quirk and a design that belongs to them. they aren’t interchangeable with one another. Izuku looks like Izuku. All Might looks like All Might. they all look unique with different shapes and sizes
  • (admittedly the manga still kind of falls under the trap of the boys get to have weird, strange designs and the girls all kind of look cute, but it’s not nearly as bad as some other shows. and honestly, if that’s my only complaint, that says a lot)
  • fighting doesn’t solve everything! there’s a really incredible few chapters in the manga dedicated to acknowledging that Izuku and Bakugou seriously need to talk to each other about what Bakugou did to him. they’re both incredible people in their own right and they can learn a lot from each other, but only if they stop fighting and actually communicate with each other. one of the chapters is literally titled “a meaningless fight”. because it is meaningless. it’s not going to solve their problems, fix past mistakes, or make them feel better. it’s a fight to get aggression out because Bakugou doesn’t know any other way to deal with his emotions and trauma.
  • kindness is rewarded!!! cruelty is not!!! i’m really sick and tired of TV shows and movies trying to sell this pessimistic outlook that everything sucks and that gives us the right to be assholes to each other just because it’s edgy. My Hero Academia is such a positive manga and it brings me so much joy and happiness and it sends such a wonderful message of anyone can be a hero if you have a good heart and that kindness will be rewarded, even if it takes a really long time.

i love this manga so much and it’s given me so much light and happiness in my life and if that makes me weird because it’s anime, then fine. whatever. i don’t care. i’ll love it for as long as i can, dammit.

sometimes i wanna scream from the rooftops just how much i value dan and phil’s appreciation for us as an audience. dan and phil are two of the most genuine people i have ever associated myself with and they consistently have good intentions and always try to do the most for us and get us involved in fun things in any way they can and never look down on us or take us for granted.. they don’t see us as things that merely fuel their source of income, they acknowledge our complexity as individuals and don’t treat us as any less of human beings just because we look up to them and i think that’s what makes their relationship with their audience and their audience’s relationship with them so unique and special

Tips for Dealing with Mean Friends

1. First, decide to love and believe in yourself, and to see your worth and value as a person. Don’t allow the rudeness or cruelty of others erode your personal respect for yourself.

2. Next, don’t allow the actions or words of other people make you feel as if you really don’t belong. It’s better to detach, and to choose to be with others, than to spend time with “friends” who are going to treat you badly.

3. Knowing that, decide not to treat them the way that they treat you. Don’t lower your standards – you’re more mature than that.

4. Don’t acknowledge their messages or answer their calls. Don’t take part in their plans, or do things that they suggest.

5. Make sure you have excuses to not hang out with them – but make sure your excuses are always plausible (For example, you have too much homework, you need to go to soccer practice, you need to do stuff with your family, or don’t have any time).

6. If you happen to see them: smile, say “hi” … then keep on walking. You don’t want to get pulled into some drama with them.

7. Ignore them if they’re rude, or sarcastic and mean. They want you to react, and to feel hurt and rejected.

8. Find a different group of friends who will value who you are – who will always treat you well, and who do things you enjoy.

I’ve always been a big believer in having someone to lean on at all times. I still believe that but sometimes those people leave, either intentionally or unintentionally. For the most part of my life, I had someone to lean on, someone who was My Person. Someone I trusted a great deal and loved the most. But they left. And that broke me in ways I can’t fully understand yet. But it was horrible and it hurts a great deal to even acknowledge it as of now. And then I met this girl one night while I was stargazing on my apartment’s roof. I wasn’t even aware of the fact that we lived in the same building which isn’t surprising because I’m not big on socializing anyway. We started talking, shared a few cigarettes and talked about the stars and constellations that we tried to find even though we had no clue about any of them.
As our conversation proceeded, she said something that I’ll probably never forget and swear to live by. “Be your own person” she said. And in that moment I realized how wrong and weak it was of me to hand over that power over to someone else. To give away the control of my happiness and my strength over to someone. Something of such importance and I gave it over to people who trashed it beautifully. Never again. That’s a promise I’m making myself today. And I hope I’m never weak enough to break it.
—  movingforward33 

Ok so, anti Kylo Ren people - I don’t understand them. Not in the sense that I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t like Kylo - you like what you like or not - but it’s the analysis of the character, something you can interpret on a sliding scale of better or worse accuracy, that strikes me as profoundly odd. It’s completely in defiance not in just to what we’ve been given in the material but also to the things the directors and actors have said themselves explicitly. Which is just…weird. It’s like alternative facts land. It gets especially weird when comparing him to Anakin, which antis always seem to do in a way that treats suffering as a vulgar balance beam of precisely measurable and predictable quantity and quality. 

“Unlike Anakin, Kyle Ron grew up with 2 parents who loved him”

No offense but - so?? Barring the very few wrongheaded outliers who label Han and Leia as abusive and uncaring (and to whom antis seem determined to sniff out and then cling to like a barnacle as a way of judging the wider fandom), most of us recognize the genuine parental love Han and Leia have for their son. My question is since when has love alone ever been enough to keep a young man from falling into darkness? Especially when said young man is growing up in a complicated family situation. If that were the case our world would be a less fucked up place than it is now.

Yes, Han and Leia loved Ben. But guess what? You can love your child and still be a dysfunctional family. You can care a lot for your kid and still make bad choices. You can still try to do your best and fail miserably. You can even do these things and inflict damage because you love them so much. Leia recognizes this - she thought she was doing good in sending Ben away to Luke for training. She was wrong and the decision hurt rather than helped, regardless of her intentions. She said so in the fucking movie.

I find it funny that the people who are vehemently against the idea of love, either from Leia or Rey or Luke or whoever, playing a part in Kylo’s redemption because they think love doesn’t redeem bad men and the notion is toxic are the same people who think love should have kept Ben Solo from becoming Kylo Ren in the first place. That’s some outstanding cognitive dissonance. The idea that because Han and Leia loved Ben and he grew up in a materially comfortable setting compared to his granddaddy somehow eliminates for him profound suffering and turmoil or immunizes Han or Leia from making long-lasting errors as parents and human beings is laughable to me. 

I grew up with a super critical and moody father. It often felt like he didn’t like me or my brother. It was only later that my dad confessed that he thought he was being helpful by chewing us out all the time even though it had the opposite effect on us. And my dad loved the shit out of me. But he didn’t realize the damage he was doing and it wasn’t intended but his own flaws kept him from realizing that and by then, the damage was done and there was no taking it back. Granted, I didn’t join a murderous regime, but then again I don’t live in a galaxy far, far away.

To refresh, reminder that these are canon facts: 1. Han admitted to being uncomfortable around Ben because of his powers. 2. According to both Carrie (”We neglected him a little”) and Adam Driver (”having these incredible powers and not having his parents really be around”), and supplemental material (Bloodline) that Leia and Han ran a contentious household with their work keeping them divided at times. 3. Ben didn’t even know about his true heritage and he found out not through his family but through someone outing his mother as Vader’s daughter. By then he had already been sent to Luke to learn to control himself.

And honestly, to reduce the Solo/Organa family situation as being informed above all else by the love Han and Leia had for their son is to completely erase the strength that outside forces had in tearing the family apart. 

Antis will unfavorably compare Anakin’s life to Kylo by saying “Anakin was a former slave who was then manipulated by Palpatine so it makes him more understandable” but like uh Ben was preyed upon by a dark entity since he was in the womb - since he was in the womb. Mama Leia says even says in the movie that it was Snoke who seduced their son, so I don’t get what distinguishing Palpatine’s manipulations while erasing Snoke’s does except make anti-Kylos look like hypocrites. 

And then there is this whole “Han offered Kylo redemption and he didn’t take it so that’s that!” 

Yeah. Han offered Kylo a chance to come back. It was the last thing he did. And he did it 6 years after Kylo fell. And after 29 years of constant struggle and misunderstanding that constituted Ben/Kylo’s life. He did so at Leia’s prompting. Not that he didn’t want his son back too - he did and he was sincere about it - but he also showed more doubt than his wife. This is gonna sound harsh but from an in-universe perspective and certainly from the character’s perspectives that’s not good enough. That’s not to downplay the love with which the gesture was made or the wrongness of Kylo’s decision. But what Han offered in that moment was just that - a moment. And redemption needs more than a moment, it requires a journey. Han even acknowledges his failures in the last moments of his life, hoping that Kylo will someday forgive him too.

What Han did wasn’t showing a way back, it was a more of a drop-everything-and-run-away-with-me proposition that did not resolve all the underlying issues subsequent actions that led to their estrangement in the first place. 

Again, there is a certain irony that anti-Kylo/anti-redemption folks who quip this line that Han was offering redemption and Kylo rejecting it and killing him therefore his chance are over are often the same ones who scorn the idea of Rey or Leia playing a role in Kylo’s redemption. Yet (putting aside that this is mischaracterizing how most of us envision the redemption arc going) by taking the position of the former, aren’t you contradicting yourself with the latter by acknowledging that yes, redemption can be given through love? Because that is what is being said when you say Han had the solution. 

At any rate, the way back must be something that Kylo finds on his own, not have given to him, with others serving as influences and inspirations but not as his patrons of good. This whole analysis of redemption being closed to Kylo Ren, of him being a “privileged white boy” who threw it all away or of his life being so comparatively better than Anakin’s thus rendering any parallels between them moot is just wrongheaded. There is a lot we don’t know yet and have been promised by those involved in the film to see, including Kylo’s “humanity”. If you’re one of those people with the viewpoint that I have spent this entire post taking down, my honest to god non-snarky recommendation is that you either adjust your reading of the material and change your expectations or not see Episode 8 at all. You will be profoundly confused, angered or disappointed otherwise.

anonymous asked:

Any opinions on Dex/Nursey as parents?

OOF. So I’m actually halfway into the first chapter of a secretdad!Nursey fic so I have a lot of dad!Nursey thoughts, but I actually had to put some thought into dad!Dex opinions, and then a good amount of thought into the combination of Dex/Nursey as parents! That said, do I have opinions on Dex/Nursey as parents? 

DO I EVER, MY FRIEND.

  • So first off: the way these boys were brought up has a Big Impact on how they are as parents.
    • Nursey was raised by two moms who loved him to pieces and let him be soft and feminine when he wanted to be and were hugely affectionate when they were there, but who also traveled a lot for work. Dex was raised by parents who also worked a lot, but who were almost always stressed about money–and he felt that stress really young and learned to internalize it. They both love their parents, but they also both picked up a lot from their parents–both “what to do” and “what not to do”.
  • That said:

(continued under the cut)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Why do you think Jake was running away from Dirk and complaining about him? I just can't imagine what was happening in his head to do such things, also I have a hard time believing that Jake loves Dirk romantically although I want to. I've been reading your analysis and I'm still not sure.

So remember when this was going on:

While Grandpa was off doing…fucking this:

Jake’s fundamental problem is the same as Grandpa’s: Escapism. In Grandpa, that misery and desire for escapism seems to grow into outright delusion–the guy seems plain old not that in touch with reality.

That’s how Jake operates when he has problems he doesn’t like and he doesn’t want to do better. Jake runs away because Dirk is needy and suffocating–the dude ain’t perfect, and he’s not any better at talking about his problems than Jake is because he likes to pretend they don’t exist by subsuming them into his (fake as shit) hypercapable persona.

But Dirk was needy and suffocating in the first place at least partly because Jake had already hurt his feelings pretty badly several times over, and led Dirk to believe he was most likely straight. Jake is aware of this!

But Jake would, in all things, prefer to resolve his conflicts in a way that doesn’t require him to acknowledge or address any way he might have possibly fucked up or hurt his friend’s feelings. That’s why neither of them can make actual progress on improving their relationship–Jake is as willfully ignorant about the core of their issues as Dirk is willfully burying them to keep up his front. And neither of them will likely talk about how Jake really felt about Brobot or about the whole AR situation for that exact same reason. Jake is busy immediately trying to forget any of that existed or could, in fact, have been parsed as a problem. Dirk is terrified of hearing Jake’s real answer. 

My friend Sburb (who I mysteriously can’t tag?? sorry about that) made a really good point about Jake’s planet–Xenon. Xenon can be used as an anesthetic, numbing one’s perception of the world, and that lines up with Jake’s modus operandi perfectly. It’s not that Jake doesn’t like Dirk, but that he is deeply terrified of confrontation and numbs himself to any possibility that may require it. Like, it’s no mistake that Jake’s innate sense of happiness and ignorance ramp up in intensity PRECISELY to match the most depressing thing he’s confronted with–Erisolsprite. Jake knows how miserable and angry Erisol is on some level, but acknowledging that would be really sad and require Jake to do something probably uncomfortable! So he doesn’t, and he pretends there isn’t a problem instead. Like. Really aggressively.

After like SIX MONTHS of enjoying Dirk’s company despite all these issues on BOTH their ends, long past the point when people who weren’t teenagers who don’t know what they’re doing would have sat down and said “Ok there’s definitely a problem here, let’s talk about it,”–yeah, all these underlying problems stress Dirk out enough that he gets to be too much for Jake and he runs away. Where he goes right on thinking about Dirk all the time, subjecting Jane to long rambles about him, and when Caliborn comes calling Jake spends his time making comments like this:

Which is A) Trolling Caliborn to some extent and really fucking funny, I love you Jake, B) Indication that Jake is now a lot more comfortable positioning himself as mlm than he was when talking to Jane, and C) That last one is obviously a reference to Dirk that Jake is making intentionally. Jake is, again, sharper than he’s given credit for. He knows what classpects are and he’s spent six months in a session where there’s exactly four of them. Even while running away, Jake is still making comments about Dirk that would absolutely be flirting if he were talking to the guy himself, and still largely thinking positively about him. 

Jake running away doesn’t reflect his feelings for Dirk. It reflects his obsessive need to avoid confrontation, and his willingness to believe anything he can tell himself to avoid it. 

Sh*t I’m still working on

- I came out 6 months ago and it’s still hard for me to say the word “lesbian” out loud. When I do come out to someone I use the word “gay” but like I know my aversion to the word is just internalized lesbophobia and misogyny and I don’t want that to affect my word choice? I’m a lesbian and i want to feel 150% comfortable saying the word “lesbian”.

- When I see a sexual lesbian scene (OITNB or The L Word) I instantly feel a cold fist in my stomach and a compulsion to avert my eyes. I still feel guilty about finding any of that stuff attractive.

- A couple of months ago I saw a Tumblr post talking about a new movie about a 9 year old lesbian who has a crush on her friend and my first thought was “Ew, why would they make a movie that sexualizes kids like that?” and then I realized that my knee-jerk reaction was way off. Like there’s nothing wrong or hypersexual about a 9 year old girl holding another 9 year old girl’s hand. But I had spent so many years hiding that part of myself, and buying into the idea that lesbianism is innately bad and dirty and shameful that to see it be the center of a movie freaked me out. But then I thought about it and felt bad for 9 year old lesbian me who had to deal with those feelings of repulsion about herself and couldn’t even admit she was having them… And it made me realize how important movies like that really are…

Representation is so important. The first time I saw a woman show a physical desire to be with another woman was when I was 13 and watching tv with my family and an advertisement for a well-known pervy (geared towards male audiences) DVD franchise came on and of course it featured female college students making out. My dad got so upset he called the tv station to complain. Meanwhile I had a lot of feelings but couldn’t acknowledge any of them… And it made me wish that with all the TV and movies I saw I could have seen just a few gay couples… 9 year old girls holding hands, a 15 year old getting kissed by her girlfriend for the first time, college girlfriends coming up with cute ways to help each other study… just some positive characters I could have looked at and realized “Oh. They’re cute and sweet together. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s normal. I’m normal.”

Imagine being one of Negan's wives and Carl having a crush on you, only for your husband to start teasing him about it a little too much

(I turned this from a Daryl to a Negan ome shot as it has been a while since i’ve wrote one for him :3 Especially some fluff! Hope it is as requested and you all like it :3 Gifs not mine/found them on google/credits to the original owners.)


Since you had been so good with your begging and pleas, Negan had decided to take you along to his recent visit to Alexandria.

He called it a date between you and him and it made you laugh to hear him say that, without denying him, you also love the idea of being the only wife for one day.

It had been quite some time since Negan had made a deal with the community there and from what you’ve heard about the place you couldn’t help but want to visit to see it with your very own eyes.

The drive was long enough but you had quite some time to fool around and enjoy the company of Negan.

Upon arrival at the gate, you weren’t disappointed. The walls were high and everything seemed so secure with not even one walker in sight that you just had to make a comment about how drab the Sanctuary looked in comparison.

“Wow…This makes our home look like way crappier than it already does!”

Your husband laughed and shook his head at your comment. Leaning closer, he whispered in your ear, “Really? Better than our sweet home? Do you need me to show you every corner of our place…with my dick inside you…to be reminded of how great it is all again…”

You held in your laughter at his joke and pushed him away from you, asking him to stop as he kept trying to get closer and closer.

He was always like that with you, making crude jokes while you were being innocent for a moment. You like that about him actually and for once it made you forget about what the world had become.

~~~~~

Although, he was this cheerful and in a mood, it came to a stop when the cars themselves stopped. After he stepped out, being a gentleman to you he hand led his hand to help you out of the car.

The gate opened to reveal the people there and with no hesitation you smiled softly as you would usually.

You greeted them and from their expressions, you could tell they hadn’t expected someone like you to be around all of these Saviors.

It felt a little awkward as they got quiet from your bright way of greeting them but nonetheless they acknowledge you, despite it mostly being from the way Negan had glared at them.

You took in the view and your amazement couldn’t be stopped. The houses and the people, truly reminded you of your neighborhood.

Without even asking, you kissed Negan’s cheek and walked passed him, having decided to take a tour on your own, while he and the others went on about their business.

~~~~

Luckily for you, it was a warm sunny day, making it easy to just wander around. It had been quiet some time since you had seen any other people than the faces you knew, you couldn’t help but smile at each of them.

Suddenly, you took notice of a young boy walking around while pushing a stroller. You knew for a fact, that there must’ve been a baby inside and quickly you made your way towards him.

You just love kids so much, you had to hold the baby, especially since it’s been ages since you’ve seen one.

As you got closer to the boy, you carefully greeted him and smiled.

“Hi…It’s a nice day to take a stroll…”

As Carl heard you, he stopped himself. He looked at you from head to toe and could tell you were probably several years older than him yet nonetheless, you were quite pretty to him.

Not to mention how nicely you were dressed, it made him blush at the thought of how pretty you were, not even for a moment that he thought you were among the Saviors.

He stuttered and looked away, realizing his actions and simply answered, “I-It is!”

You chuckled and approached him, trying to catch a glimpse of inside the stroller. He noticed you and as you looked back up at him, you shrugged and tucked your hair behind your ear.

You saw the child and instantly couldn’t help but let out how cute she was.

“Aw…Is this your little sister?”

He nodded and opened the visor to reveal the cute little blonde girl. He told you her name and signaled you that you could stroke her hair.

“Yeah, she is…Her name’s Judith…”

“Judith…That’s a pretty name…Do you mind if I hold her?”

It unnerved him to hear you and made him realize he had no idea of where you came from. He seemed in deep thought and ended up staring at you even more to check if you had any weapon on you.

He figured things out and nodded at you. “No not at all…Go ahead…”, he said as he stood by and took her out for you.

Your smile grew to see her and even more as you held her in your arms.

“Wow…Such a pretty little girl, you are…Yes you are…look at your small little hands…so cute…”

Compliments from you, kept pouring in as you held the little girl. She was undeniably adorable and from the way she acted with you, she clearly enjoyed you.

She cupped your face and laughed as you playfully shook your head and kept her entertained for quite some time, even earning you a little peck from her.

It surprised Carl to see his little sister get so comfortable with a stranger but still made him smile to look at you both.

“I think she really likes you…”

You turned your attention back to him and nodded along, joking around with him.

“I think so too…She really has good taste in people!”

As he laughed, you then ended up staying by and playing with her for a long while, making Carl grow to trust you.

You both spoke to each other as well and had seem to hit it off well. He thought it was easy to speak to you and couldn’t help but laugh and smile from your genuine humor.

He just felt so comfortable, he had forgotten about his worries for a moment and you had both ended sitting by the porch of his house.

He even noticed how prettier you were and couldn’t stop himself from staring at your features. He blushed every time you would look back at him and even worst when you had praised him for being so brave.

~~~~

As the time passed, you had notice everyone starting to walk away and decided to get up. You handed him his little sister back and smiling at him, you said, “Well…I guess I have to get back now…My people are about to leave…”

It caught him off guard, you were apart of the Saviors, he couldn’t believe it.

“Y-you’re with them?”

You nodded and ruffled his hair to try and cheer him up from his obvious worried and concern look.

“Don’t worry…Not all of them are bad…”

He liked the way you had touched him and you noticed how hard he blushed from it. It made you smile again and wanting him to trust you, you pecked him quickly on the cheek.

“See you next time, Carl…”

As you said that and were about to walk away, suddenly a familiar voice roared.

“Woah! Holy shit! Carl! Are you trying to steal MY woman!”

It was Negan and he was making his way towards you both rather quickly. He stared at the boy wide eyed and with a rather funny expression, not understanding the situation.

Hearing him, you turned back to look at him and just shook your head, knowing that he was probably going to make some bad jokes about it.

In all honesty, it shocked Carl even more to know that you were with Negan and couldn’t hide his disappointment from him.

“S-She’s with you?”

Negan smirked and approached closer to you, grabbing your waist tightly to him. You stared at him and he stared back at you. He was smirking, oddly it seemed more than genuine and you couldn’t tell if it was because he was having fun or was it because he was admitting to you being his, either way it made your heart skip a beat to see him like that.

“Hell freaking yeah! She’s mine! What did you think?!”

Carl was oddly getting pissed and just didn’t want it to be true that you belong to Negan, especially as he knew you weren’t the only wife he had.

He felt somewhat bad and feeling confident about himself, he got up and faced your man.

“I just didn’t think someone like her would willingly want to be with a psycho like you!”

He nearly spat at Negan and his comment definitely made him laugh. You laughed as well and shook your head.

“Goddamn! Right on! Now that is the badassness I wanted! Wanna fight me for her?”

You rolled your eyes at his comment and grabbed his arm to pull him away.

“Come on Negan…Stop messing around with him…I’m so sorry Carl…”

He didn’t budged and stared at the boy for a long while with his big grin, wide eyed and realized something. He kept blushing and staring at you, making him understand that he certainly grew to have a crush on you.

However, he had also witness you pecking on his cheek and knew that also had to be another reason behind his redness.

Instead of leaving him alone, he leaned backwards and made another comment to see his reaction.

“Are you still blushing? Oh come on! You’re supposed to be a badass…Not a blushing boy… Don’t tell me it was that kiss…Come on when a hot woman, like Y/N, kisses you, you don’t lose your balls like that! If you’re going to steal my woman might as well be worthy of it, kid!”

He kept egging him on and you just felt bad for him and even more when your husband mentioned the young boy’s missing eye.

“Tell me…Did you show her…Your awesome missing eye…You know…The socket…the dried up blood…”

You could see that from his words, Carl suddenly was shying away from him. His head dropped down and himself trying to cover his bandage with his hair as Negan kept getting closer.

“Don’t be like that! Show her your eye! You like her don’t you! If you do then show her what you are and who you really are! A psychopathic future serial killer with a disgusting eye…That’s who you are…”

His nose was now crinkling and you knew he was more than on the verge of tears, and that you couldn’t handle it, the idea of child crying was a little too much for you.

You pulled Negan back and went closer to Carl. Turning towards your old man, you crossed your arms and sternly told him, “Alright, enough Negan…You’re making him cry…It’s not funny anymore…”

~~~~

As Carl heard you, he figured you would side with him even more if he gave you a real show and just decided to go with it. He teared up even more and as you heard him, you turned to look at him to wrap your arm around his shoulder.

You pulled him closer and with your other hand you wiped his tears away. It made Negan instantly jealous and suddenly he stood up straight, trying to ask you to come back to him.

“It’s okay Carl…Don’t listen to him…He’s always like that…”

He nodded and you felt his breathing being ragged. It tore you up even more and stroking his hair, you looked him in the eye and said, “You don’t need to worry so much about your eye…You’re a charming young man…That’s just a little scar, don’t let it be your weakness and bring you down…Especially not from a big man child like Negan!”

You shot your gaze back at him and he looked shocked. It made you smirk to see him that way and as you looked back at Carl, you noticed him nodding and wiping his tears away.

“Thank you, Y/N…”, he mumbled under his breath. It made you feel oddly warm to cheer him up that way and you couldn’t resist to peck him on the cheek again and pull him into a hug as you said your goodbyes. His sister cheered him up as well with her own hug and you all stayed in a little embrace for a moment, making your husband more than jealous of the situation.

“Don’t mention it…See you next time…Okay…”, you said as you stroked his hair back and cupped his cheek for a moment.

You then looked back at Negan and crossing your arms, said, “And you mister! No more teasing him like that…he’s not yours to torment!”

He couldn’t find anything to say and as you approached him he opened his mouth, only for you to push him away and walk pass him.

You were being playful with him and laughed as he called your name from behind. He turned back to look at Carl and noticed him smiling.

~~~~

He had thought of apologizing for it but seeing him like that, dumbfounded him and pointing towards him, he said,“Wh-Why the hell are you smiling? Y-you were a mess earlier…”

Carl shrugged and feeling bold told him, “I was…But you know…I can pretend…and I got Y/N to cheer me up…She kissed my cheek twice…She hugged me…and most importantly she picked me over you…”

And with that, he turned back to walk in his house, leaving Negan shocked behind.

It made him stutter out, “Y-you! You tricked her! Unfair! Hey come back out!”

In a slight panic, he ran back towards you and started acting like a pouty and grumpy kid.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Wait for me!”

~~~~

He was quite fast and surprised you as he stood near you. Walking with you towards the cars, he held your arm and reported to you what had happened.

“Carl lied to you! He was faking it! The tears and everything else!”

You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head to hear him. You just had a feeling Negan was being petty and acting like that just to get your attention.

“Yeah right…Your words and attitude really didn’t get under a young boy’s skin…Jeez Negan…Like i’d ever believe that…”

“B-but- He admitted it!”

“No buts mister…I’ve seen you make grown men and women cry like that from your unnecessary comments…so a young teenager is no exception…”

He frowned even more and looked away from you, he just couldn’t believe you weren’t siding with him.

You laughed to check on him and decided to cheer him back up as you got nearer to the cars.

“Are you seriously jealous of a teenager, Negan?”

He looked back at you and seemed to hesitate between yes and no. You sighed and cupped his face and told him, “Well you shouldn’t…I love you…Not anyone else…”

At those words, his smile came back and he chuckled. Shrugging out of excitement, he held your hands in his and asked you, “Really?”

“Yes, really…Now stop acting like a baby…and get over it…”

He bit his lip and ended up nodding in agreement until you added more.

“Also…No more teasing him like that…I know you were trying to be playful…But that’s not the way to get to know a kid at first…Maybe when you get closer, you can start teasing and roasting him like that…”

He looked up and down and took a deep breath before looking back into your eyes. He reluctantly nodded and ended up agreeing.

“Fine…i’ll try…I won’t hurt his little feelings…”

“That’s good to hear…”

You nodded along and pecked him on the lips to hear his answer. You stared at each other with a smile and about to laugh, only for him to add a little something.

“Yeah…but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep my eyes off of him from now on whenever you’re around…”

As you opened the door to get in the car, you stood still for a moment and tilted your head to the side as you asked him to explain.

“What do you mean by that?”

He seemed taken aback and ended staying by the open car door just as you before answering you in his loud voice.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?! Y/N it’s been the subject matter since the freaking beginning! He clearly has some weird fucking crush on you! Did you see the way he looked at you?!”

You laughed at his meaning and knew it was the perfect moment to tease him about it.

“Negan, language! And…Of course I noticed! It’s me we were talking about…Of course that was bound to happen…I just have that magic on every guy!”

You wiggled your eyebrows at him and smirk mischievously, leaving him hanging as you stepped in the car.

He followed you and was trying to convince you of never coming back to make sure Carl wasn’t going to have his hopes up, only for you to laugh and be adamant about coming back and keeping the promise you made to the young man, making him get frustrated again.

yeah okay so listen up one sec, you know how much i love jason todd and appreciate his character and will defend him to hell for everything he’s been put through, but some of you excuse all the abuse he himself put others through (from hurting them to flat out killing them most of the time) by using the mental illness card in the worst of ways. it’s great some of you acknowledge he’s a mentally ill character and not just a hurt, misunderstood boy, but you can’t use his mental health as a crutch and explain all the slaughtering he did in his early red hood days as completely okay and justifiable? that’s not doing any of us any favors. it’s not doing his character any favors either. he needed/needs help, not excuses

On Yuri’s disliking of JJ

Or why the events order in the show is tricky.

It occurred to me recently that the reason Yuri dislikes JJ so much is not because of his personality or teasing.
It is, however, what we are lead to think when we watch the episodes in order.

The first time Yuri and JJ are shown interacting is at the end of Yuri’s SP at Rostelecum Cup, with the infamous “Ladies First” of JJ. Yuri mentions that he’s “even more annoying than those two [Viktor and Yuuri]”, and considering this sentence follows JJ’s teasing, it makes it look like Yuri hates JJ because of this teasing, and overall, his personality.

But it’s not the case.

Yuri hates JJ because he’s a sore loser.

Now let’s focus on Yuri. He’s young and talented. He’s talented enough to manage to nail a quadruple salchow at what I will assume was age 13-14, and respecting his part of Viktor’s deal, he manages to win the GPF junior without any quads. 

He’s used to win.

It’s even clearer if you look back at episode 2:

Even Yuuri is surprised by how confident Yuri is :

Yuri is confident because he’s used to win.

But then, Onsen on Ice happens, and he looses. We see in ep 4 the RAGE he puts into getting better. In his mind, it’s just because he lacked experience. It was just a one-time loss because he didn’t have enough time to train, to refine the program, and because he didn’t have as much experience as Yuuri (he mentions his lack of experience later in the series). It’s obvious to him that if he just trains harder it’ll fix that little inconvenience, and that loss will just be a bad memory. 

Then Skate Canada happens. We see it in Yuri’s flashback during his FS at Rostelecum Cup. We see Yuri radiating.

At this moment, he just feels like he was right. Like he just needed that little more time to refine his programs and gain experience. He’s at the top, in first place, and he doesn’t see what could go wrong. He’s relieved and exulting, at the place he’s used to be. Things are finally right, he’s winning. The gold is just here.

But then JJ happens.

The way the flashback scene showed it is really good, because it expresses Yuri’s confusion perfectly. He didn’t see it coming. He was already seeing himself with the GPF’s gold around his neck, and can’t believe someone just beat him.

That is why Yuri dislikes JJ so much. Remember what JJ says to Yuri at this point : 

If the “Yuri-chan” can sounds condescending (but Kubo pointed out he wasn’t ill-intended), this sentence is a way to acknowledge Yuri’s talent. “Let’s climb the podium again” implies that he believes that Yuri -despite his young age- is talented and hard-working enough to get on the podium again. That it wasn’t just out of luck. [Note that he doesn’t precise he wants them to be in the same places, meaning that he’s just wishing for both of them to be on the podium, not especially for Yuri to be under him in any way.]

This acknowledgement of his skills should be something Yuri appreciates, since he hates being belittled. But he doesn’t take it that way. To him, it just looks like taunting.

Because JJ beat him, and because he’s a sore loser. And what do sore losers do toward the people who beat them ? They get angry and make them look like bad people.

So the teasing comes pretty uncalled-for, but as Kubo mentioned in an interview, JJ thought that Yuri “would relax”. As we see from his reaction to winning bronze in last year’s GPF and this year, JJ seems to have a pretty good sportsmanship, and probably expected Yuri to be the same. Excepted that it’s not the case and Yuri ends up taking the teasing and his personality as excuses to hate him.

But we see how his hate is actually fragile and based on no tangible basis. Especially in this Hotel scene in episode 10, when he runs into JJ and Isabella and ends up calling JJ “scum” for the way he wears his sunglasses. 

Sounds petty right ? It’s just because Yuri had literally nothing else to insult. Not only JJ didn’t say anything mean or teasing in this scene (he actually looked like he was trying to avoid things to escalate between Yuri and Isabella), but he even lowkey complimented Yuri by saying his fanbase -and indirectly, Yuri; just like Isabella’s comment on Yuri’s fangirls indirectly attacked Yuri- was famous.

Yuri didn’t find anything to reproach to JJ. But accepting he didn’t have anything to insult in JJ would also be accepting that he was hating him without any solid justification other than his own inability to accept his loss. Which he wasn’t ready for yet.

So he insulted the sunglasses. Anything is good to prove that he has tangible reasons to hate JJ.

Since the anime shows us their interaction at Rostelecum Cup before Skate Canada, it leads us to think Yuri dislike JJ because of his teasing, or even that JJ is teasing Yuri on purpose to annoy him. 

But putting the events in chronological order, with the added informations of the later episodes (for example episode 10, that showed us that JJ was actually pretty socially awkward and didn’t realize when his joking was uncalled for) and some interviews, it becomes clearer.

tl;dr : Yuri isn’t hating JJ because of his personality or his teasing. Those are excuses for Yuri to justify his disliking of JJ. Yuri dislikes JJ because he’s a sore loser and is used to win.

i really really need to talk about last night’s episode of brooklyn nine nine. that is not the kind of episode that you can fully appreciate in one watch so i had to go back and see it again before i talked about it. i am not in a place to speak on racial profiling but when i read the press release of this episode and found out that my favourite show is doing an episode on this very important and complex topic, I was intrigued but also worried. when taking on a topic that is incredibly urgent and relevant in today’s world, there definitely is a huge amount of responsibility that the show needs to take in highlighting the issue and giving it the importance it deserves while also maintaining the structure of the show. i definitely do not doubt dan goor and the brooklyn nine nine writers and actors for even a second, but taking on a topic like this in a cop comedy show where cops are believed to be inherently good and protective of their citizens is an incredibly huge risk, one that i did not want the show to take unless they were certain that they could do justice to it. and justice they did. 

i honestly cannot express how incredibly happy i was to see someone other than jake be a part of the A plot. don’t get me wrong you know jake peralta is the absolute love of my life, but the supporting characters in this show are so incredibly interesting and there’s so many great stories to be explored with them and sometimes they are underutilized in episodes and it’s frustrating because you know they have so much more to offer. terry excels in mediocre C plots so when he is given a fantastic A plot, he absolutely nails it. 

right off the bat when terry tells the squad about the incident, i absolutely love jake saying that he has never been stopped by a cop and he has done some really crazy things and the flashback that follows, b99 has never been a show to shy away from discussing white privilege and i love that this continued on in this episode. i love that terry’s first course of action was not to punish the officer for making the mistake, but rather talk to him about it and ensure that he wouldn’t ever do it to anyone else again. i loved the conversations between holt and terry, it was interesting to see the differing perspectives of two black men in positions of authority and who belong to different generations. holt is justified in worrying about terry’s career and telling him to pick his battles, regardless of how deeply wrong the incident was. terry is justified in wanting to do the right thing and make the officer pay for what he did because this incident had nothing to do with his career in the first place. terry’s childhood flashback and viewing a cop as a superhero and telling holt that he can’t stop thinking about the thought of his daughters one day being out on the street looking for their child’s toy and being stopped by a bad cop and not being able to play the police card was heartbreaking. i love that terry chooses to file the report and doesn’t care about it affecting his chances of getting the city council job because it is the right thing to do. i can’t express how amazing terry crews is in this scene and how he makes me cry within seconds because his emotions are so raw and to see such a positive and happy person feel so defeated really hits you hard. i love that holt tells terry that when he went through these situations, he was alone and he had no one to turn to so he had to rise through the ranks to create change, but now he’s there, and how he decides to support terry regardless of the consequences. i love that there isn’t an easy resolution to this plot and it is a bittersweet ending because terry does not get the city council position likely due to his complaint against the officer and he does consider the thought of him maybe being able to do more if he had gotten the position. i love that holt and terry do acknowledge the fact that it’s tough to survive in this world, regardless of their position or rank. the writers don’t sugarcoat the issue but they also don’t let it slip to a dark and grave place that offers no hope, they find the perfect balance between the two, making their treatment of the issue that much more effective. 

jake and amy babysitting cagney and lacey was so so so important to me but i loved that it didn’t take away from the seriousness of the issue in any way. jake and amy showed immense growth in this episode, from thinking that cake and movies is the perfect diversion for the kids so they can avoid talking about the subject of race to actually having the most difficult conversation that a parent could possibly have with their child and handling it with so much care and sensitivity and not sugarcoating the issue for the children but also not giving them more information than they could handle. i love the last scene between them and how they go back and forth about the idea of kids, acknowledging that yes they’re super stressful but the experience of being with them is rewarding and being able to shape young minds is a powerful feeling. but wait kids are exhausting but they also have the cutest shoes and hands. our babies are ready to have their own babies!! i always knew that jake and amy would make perfect loving supportive and caring parents but if this episode is any indication, they’ll be even greater than i ever imagined. 

best jokes of the episode:

  • “get woke scully” I SCREAM EVERYTIME
  • all of charles’ creepy hilarious lines about jake and amy being parents!!
  • gina’s song on racism
  • “oh and one more thing, i love you” “i love you too jake” so cute so cute so cute
  • “tv and cake were my parents”
  • “what kind of kids don’t wanna eat cake, should we call child services on terry”
  • the handling of the orgasm question
  • gina and rosa babysitting cagney and lacey (lord knows i’d kill for an entire episode of this)
Anger, Sex and Confessions (Road Trip Series - Part Three)

Quick note: Please keep in mind while reading this that I’ve written it over such a long period of time (and that’s no one’s fault but my own) and that means it could honestly be the biggest pile of crap you’ve ever read, and totally not worth the wait that it has been. I’m nervous as fuck. Enjoy!

Part One: Warmth x If Looks Could Kill

Part Two: Wrong Directions and Shower Secrets

He suppressed a growl when he felt his body stiffening. The pleasure was too great for Justin to feel any sense of guilt or embarrassment when flashes of [Y/N]’s bare body entered his mind.

With care, his hand moved up and down his length but he knew it wouldn’t be long before his speed increased. His heart thumped rapidly against his ribcage and the steam started to suffocate him, he was determined to see himself through, despite having a lightheaded sensation in his head.  

He did with success. He knew he’d spent far too long in the shower, so long that the rest of the group were likely to be getting suspicious, but all of those worries left his brain when he felt himself falling over the edge.

Leaving his lips, pants and gasps bounced off the shower wall and returned back to their rightful owner almost immediately. Justin tried to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back the voicing of his pleasure but he knew he could only do so much.

The hot water mixed with his juices that managed to reach his stomach while he continued to stroke himself through the bliss that took its time to subside, as though it didn’t want to leave him. Justin would admit the feeling was mutual.

Feeling dizzy, he took a few minutes to let the water wash over his body and cleanse him of his actions that he was starting to feel slightly regretful of.

Stepping out of the shower only minutes later and panting breathlessly, Justin quickly trapped the heat against his body by wrapping the towel around his waist. He felt his cheeks burning and he was sure if he wasn’t dripping wet, he’d have sweat running down his forehead.

He felt relaxed, and at ease with no tension anywhere in his body. Looking in the mirror, even as it was steamed up, he could see the deep redness in his cheeks.

He shut the shower door before opening the bathroom one in front of him. The fact he’d made sure to wrap the towel around him quickly meant nothing when the cold air sent a shiver through his entire body and gave him the sensation of being given shock treatment.

The rest of the group were lounging around in front of the TV, and [Y/N]’s eyes met his own and he couldn’t help but smirk as she rapidly switched her attention to the TV once more, pretending their gaze hadn’t clicked momentarily.

He walked into the bedroom and didn’t bother turning the light switch   before closing the door and walking around to the far side of the room where his things were sprawled carelessly. He couldn’t help but catch a glance of red lace poking out of [Y/N]’s suitcase, and he had to quickly turn away to forget about it.

He dropped the towel from his body and pulled the boxers up his legs and over his junk. He grabbed some sweatpants out of his bag and threw them on. Water droplets hit his cheeks as his hair stuck up without direction. He ran his hand through it before grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head as he aimed for the bedroom door.

Out in the main room, things were just as they were a few seconds ago, just as he expected. Once again, [Y/N] shifted her gaze onto him for only a moment. She was spread out across the couch that would have otherwise had a free seat. The floor was cold beneath his feet and he refused to sit on it. She didn’t budge as he walked closer to her.

“Move,” he said. She didn’t react nor did she show any sign of acknowledgement. “Move,“ he repeated, just a little louder.

"As you can see, this couch is currently taken,” she replied, her eyes on the TV.

“Maybe so, but it could also be taken by two if you moved your fat ass,” he hissed, taking a hold of her legs and trying to pull them off of the couch.

“Fucking hell, sit here,” Kylie said, standing abruptly. Justin watched in annoyance as [Y/N] moved her feet out of the way so Kylie could sit down.

The room was quiet apart from the TV, and Justin could sense it was almost awkward, no one was in a hurry to say anything to break it however. He bounced his leg on the floor mindlessly and rested his hands on his stomach.

“Okay, I can’t hold it in any longer. We saw you guys cuddling this morning,” Khalil exclaimed as a grin burst out onto his face. He looked like he was ready to explode.

Justin instantly scoffed, and [Y/N] imitated him. “You’re talking shit, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered, feeling his heart rate pick up.

“I figured you’d say that,” Khalil replied and did the one thing Justin was silently praying he wouldn’t do; he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Looking over at [Y/N], he could see she had a mix of panic, worry and confusion across her face. He shifted his gaze back to Khalil who was ready to reveal the proof. And when he did, Justin held back a groan.

On his phone was a photo Justin was expecting simply because he remembered exactly how he’d woken up that morning; [Y/N]’s back pressed against his chest, his arm around her comfortably.

“Care to explain?” It was Kendall’s turn to grin.

“You want an explanation?” Justin asked while [Y/N] sat quietly, almost stunned. “We’re secret fuck buddies. Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t hear us last night the way I was giving it to her-“

"Justin!” [Y/N] hissed. “That is not true.”

"Well, that’s what they want? Isn’t it?” he spat and shocked expressions took over three of the faces staring at him. “Of course nothing’s going on between us. I can’t stand her, I can’t stand her bitchy attitude, and anyone who’d be willing to even hold her hand must be out of their mind, besides,” Justin muttered mindlessly, pointing in [Y/N]’s direction before slumping back against the couch. "I can do way better than a bitch like her.”

She didn’t want to be quick to say it hurt, but she could feel a deep snag in her heart, as though someone had shoved a knife through her chest but it had caught and tangled in her veins.

The silence made it worse; it either meant no one was fazed by Justin’s comment, or they had realised it was a little too much so sudden. Either way, [Y/N] jumped to her feet and aimed for the door without letting the thought process. It was as though all of her insecurities had been brought to the surface in a harsh attempt to drown her and she couldn’t help but feel her eyes swimming in tears.

Justin watched the TV without taking notice. She slipped her shoes on and thanked the warm weather that she was able to leave without grabbing a coat. She made an effort to slam the door behind her.

The air gave her a hard slap to the face, but she felt better with the fresh air filling her lungs, even the sight of the trees waving softly made her feel somewhat at ease.

She walked, she wasn’t sure what direction or how far, but she passed nothing but green land and the odd yellow patches until the sun started to sink before the landscape. It caused her to flinch away as it glared at her, burning her retinas without remorse.

Birds flew over her head, chirping excitedly and frightening her when they swooped just a little lower than usual. There was soft rustling in the bushes but she decided it was nothing she should worry about.There was a gush of wind attacking her back with so much force, she felt her body being ushered forwards.

****

It’d been a few hours since she’d left and since she hadn’t even thought of her phone as she stormed out, there was no way for her to have contact with anyone. She was grateful for it a few hours ago, but the sun was leaving her and she was no longer as warm as she had been, and suddenly, not as confident that she’d be able to get back.

She turned around on her heels suddenly and started to stumble back where she’d come from. With a little bit of panic in her system, the ground no longer seemed so perfectly laid out before her. The air seemed like ice on her skin, she wrapped her arms around her body.

The sky looked as though it was ablaze; the blue that once looked like an ocean in the sky had transformed into a mixture of reds and yellows, it looked like someone had painted it, maybe even just for her. She could see the last edge of the sun leave behind the hills and the sky became even darker. She tried not to worry but the air was getting colder by the second and she could no longer feel her fingers.

She wasn’t sure how long it had been; minutes, possibly hours, but she managed to find her way back eventually. It was just as the sky turned a deep blue, going on black, colour. She felt fatigue wash over her body while walking towards the door. The lights were still on and the place looked just as it had done when she left, with a little more life to it now that it was the only light source outside.

She felt a sense of awkwardness crawl into her body when she walked inside; her hurt and embarrassment had somewhat subsided and she wasn’t feeling at all up to the possible gazes she may just get as she meets their faces. It happened, no matter how much she wanted to run away for a few more hours.

"Where the fuck have you been?!” Kylie shot towards her and grabbed her by the arm, her hands were warm and [Y/N] appreciated it. “You’ve been gone hours.”

"Sorry, I just needed some fresh air, that’s all.” She shrugged as though it was nothing, as though she hadn’t gotten lost and began to panic. “I’m fine, honestly.”

"Yeah, now, we didn’t know that an hour ago,” Kendall pointed out as she sat on the edge of the couch. Khalil was stood behind her, leaning against the back of the couch.

A sudden emotion set into [Y/N]’s body and she knew all it could be was guilt; she’d been so caught up in thinking about herself and her own emotions, she didn’t seem to think about the fact that she’d left with no explanation.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I should have said something, I didn’t mean to worry you.” She sent them an apologetic smile while a flush creeped up to her cheeks. “Forgive me?” 

The worried looks were still being sent her way, but after hugs and more apologies from [Y/N], everything was resolved, much to her relief. Sighing, she dropped down onto the couch.

“Are you okay?” Kylie dared to ask what the other two seemed to be wanting to by the way they nodded.

“Yeah, I’m okay, just needed to clear my head, that’s all,” she replied with a strong element of truth behind her words. “I think I’m gonna go get some rest though.”

“Do you wanna swap-“

“I’ll be okay, he’s probably asleep anyway. Night.” [Y/N] sent smiles to the three of them before making her way across the room to her bedroom door, kicking her shoes off as she did so. She could see the light through the small gap underneath the door and felt her heart come alive in her chest.

Her eyes met Justin sat on the edge of the bed with his phone in his hands. When the door opened, he was quick to turn to see who had walked through it and when his eyes clocked [Y/N], he jumped to his feet.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he hissed the same words Kylie had, taking her by surprise. “You’ve been gone for hours!”

“That’s none of your business,” she muttered, suddenly avoiding eye contact as though if she met his eyes, she’d lose all strength.

“Well, believe it or not, it kinda is. If you hadn’t have come back, I’d never have been able to live with myself.”

“What you said hurt,” she murmured, “but don’t flatter yourself.”

“Where did you go?”

“Why do you care?”

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know, [Y/N], okay? But I do.”

[Y/N] didn’t know what to say so she didn’t attempt to think of anything. The mere fact that Justin had been worried about her while she was gone was enough to throw her off track. It stayed quiet for a while, Justin’s confession was hanging painfully exposed in the air, and she used that time to climb under the warmth of the covers.

“I’m sorry,” Justin rasped.

“What for?”

“You know what for, for what I said.”

“I’m over it, I don’t care.” She played with the edge of the covers to stop herself from looking over at Justin’s bare back.

“Are you?” he asked and, finally, laid back against the pillows. They laid side by side, completely still, as though they were scared that whoever moved first would lose the battle.

“Totally.”

Justin rolled over onto his side. His head rested against the palm of his hand and his eyes burned into the side of [Y/N]’s face. She itched to return his gaze.

“..I enjoyed being with you, holding you, I mean. It felt nice.”

His confessions were piling up and she knew his ways too well to not question whether it was just another one of his games. She stayed quiet.

“Why won’t you look at me?” he asked with confusion lacing and decorating his tone.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” She finally found the strength to look at him, and when she did, she could see colour swirling around his pupils.

He shrugged and bit the inside of his cheek. “I guess I’m just tired of pretending that I don’t care for you when all I want to do is compliment you.”

“Where is this coming from?” she asked; she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Justin sighed again, and ran a hand through his jungle of hair. “I guess when you left, it scared me. I didn’t know where you were or if you were okay, or even if you were coming back. It made me realise that I do care about you,” he said before letting out a large breath of air. He looked worried, he’d never looked like that in front of her.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. She wanted to tell him that she was enjoying his warmth, and that she’d like him to come closer, but she didn’t.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I know this is sudden. We can just go to sleep and forget everything if you want.”

His words echoed in her mind like a record threatening to skip and start all over again. She didn’t want to sleep, at least not without him close. She wanted him to keep saying nice things to her, as selfish as that sounded. She liked the new Justin, and she couldn’t help but remember how his arms felt firmly around her waist.

He was still watching her closely, and she hadn’t any control over the next words that left her lips.

“Kiss me.”

His eyes widened and he took the characteristics of an ice statue for a few seconds. [Y/N] half expected water to start gliding his temple at any moment, and she was sure if it reached his cheek it would sizzle.

However, in the next few seconds he transformed into something wild. He leaped forward and grabbed her face in his hands, making her gasp, but not in surprise. His lips were hot and relaxed her whole body immediately. Their kisses were hungry, that kind of hungry you feel when you haven’t eaten since breakfast and it’s late in the evening.

She’d never heard him moan before, only groan in annoyance at her. She quickly decided she loved the sound and wanted more.

Justin hovered about her, careful not to touch her too much in case she didn’t want to go further. He moved his fingers up her arms and pulled her hands up over her head and held them tightly in his grip. Her tongue grazed against his own and he wanted nothing more than to bite down.

Taking a chance, he abandoned the grasp he had on her hands and moved his left hand to the end of her shirt, letting his fingers wander underneath. When she didn’t resist, he moved them further up towards the very edge of her bra. He could feel lace and growled like a hungry animal into the back of her throat. This made her curve her chest up into him.

“Justin,” she whispered because again she was lost for words.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes switching between hers. She nodded and threw her head back against the fluffy pillows.

His hand almost ripped the shirt from her body with eagerness. A rush of lust released into this body, causing him to grip her hips tighter than he planned. It wasn’t long before the fabric hiding her boobs was thrown behind him. Justin didn’t hesitate to bring his mouth around her left nipple to hear her whimper.

He realised he took great pleasure in hearing her make such delicate noises that floated so wonderfully into his ear and sent tingles running down his neck and spreading to deeper parts of his body. It was something - after all the arguments and miscommunication - he never thought he would feel.

“Definitely,” she replied, pulling his lips against her own by grabbing his neck. “Please don’t take your time.”

He didn’t have to be told twice and became increasingly eager as he took the beginning of her sweatpants in his fingertips. [Y/N]’s skin was warm under his touch. He pulled them down her long legs with a rapidly beating heart, and felt as though it was seconds from coming to a halt once they’d been dropped to the floor and her legs were for him to look at.

An almost inaudible moan left the back of his throat, it would have gone unnoticed if it wasn’t for the strong silence around them, almost like it was waiting for what was to follow.

“I didn’t realise just how much I wanted this until now,” Justin murmurs quietly, unsure if [Y/N] caught what he’d said. His hands venture to the hem of her underwear. “May I?”

“Please,” she whispered.

With a pounding heart and a threatening hard on, Justin just managed to take his time while dragging her underwear down her legs, giving them the same destiny as her sweatpants as he launched them to the floor.

“You’re wearing too much material,” [Y/N] said, indicating to the shorts he was wearing. Justin merely smirked and got to his feet.

With a heart racing wildly in her chest, [Y/N] watched without trying to look too eager. Although when his shorts were off and laying discarded on top of her own, she was sure her breathing was about to stop.

“D’you want a little strip tease?” Justin asked, his infamous grin plastered on his lips as he swayed his hips from left to right gently, wiggling his ass to nonexistent music. “I’ve been told I have excellent stripper skills.”

[Y/N] couldn’t help but laugh, and realised it was probably the first time she’d laughed at him without the joke being at his expense. “Just get over here before I dry up like the desert.”

“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty,” he smirked and gained speed while pulling his boxers down the bottom half of his body. She took the inside of her cheek between her teeth as she felt the heat rush to her cheeks.

He reached over to his bag with a rapid pace and returned with a condom packet that was ripped open and covering him in a matter of seconds. The look of desire in his eye was obvious if the sudden movements didn’t make it clear.

“Ready?” he whispered, towering over her body with his hands resting firmly beside her head. [Y/N] could see his breath becoming heavier by the second.

“More than.”

Justin let his hands slip up and down her sides before pushing his hips forward. There was a tense moment between the two while they allowed reality to set in, but Justin smashed through it was a moan of appreciation against the skin of [Y/N]’s neck.

“How I’ve managed to resist you for this long is a mystery,” he muttered, holding back the desire to bite down on her neck.

She didn’t reply, but simply pushed her hips up as far as she could, feeling Justin’s own slam against hers as a result. [Y/N] watched his jaw tightened for a mere few seconds.

“Talk to me,” he breathed as he lowered himself so that he was closer to her. Their heat radiated off of each other without any trouble. “D’you like that?”

She nodded before she responded. “Y-yes,” she said, needing to catch her breath. “Please don’t stop.” Her nails were digging exceptionally hard into his shoulders, but he didn’t seem to have a problem.

“I’d be an idiot to stop, I wanna know what you’re like when you cum,” he grinned madly, and [Y/N] sensed movement lower down her body. She thought nothing of it until a warm sensation, similar to before, pressed down on her clit.

“Oh fuck,” [Y/N] whispered, letting her eyes fall shut while her body stayed tense. She gripped Justin’s shoulders with the tips of her fingers instead of her nails. “Justin..”

“I know, I know, I know. That’s good, right?” he whispered, becoming impossibly close to her. “All those arguments seem so pointless when we could’ve been doing this the whole time,” he rasped, slamming his hips closer to her.

“We’re idiots,” she chuckled in agreement, but was quickly taken over by the tightening in her stomach. Her heart began to race rapidly.

“I’m not gonna last much longer,” he muttered so quietly [Y/N] had to wonder if he was talking to her or himself.

It was clear he was coming close; his thrusts took a turn and became harder as each one took place, but they became less coordinated, like Justin was losing control of his hips.

“[Y/N]..” Justin’s voice trailed off into what was barely a whisper, as though the intended words had been stolen from his lips.

“Cum for me,” she whispered encouragingly, meanwhile feeling her own climax approaching.

“I want to see you cum first, I want to feel you cum first. Do that for me.”

There was a certain pressure that did [Y/N] a world of favours; the idea of Justin watching her, his eyes burning into her, send her stomach doing backflips. She pushed her hips up confidently and felt the familiar feeling of falling over the edge.

“C’mon, baby,” he muttered into her ear. His voice was shaky, as though he was holding back on something he was seconds from losing control of. “Cum for me. Right now.”

[Y/N] did just that. Aware of the fact that there were three other people currently in other rooms, she bit down on her bottom lip, but it didn’t stop a squeal emitting from the back of her throat thanks to Justin’s fingers working their magic on her clit faster than she thought possible. It calmed down into a whine that caused Justin to slam into her with what felt like his entire power.

“Fuck, I’m there,” he panted and took a firm hold of her hips. The speed in which Justin began to pound into her extended her orgasm for a few moments longer, letting the bliss last.

His eyes scrunched closed while his jaw clenched tightly. He looked absolutely wonderful and [Y/N] soaked in his beauty in that moment. The moans and grunts that clashed together in the air around them caused an entire new wave of pleasure through her body and she had to try to not let it show.

A minute later and the air was filled with heat, panting and awkwardness. Justin had sunk down beside her and they both lay staring at the ceiling, not touching each other for the first time in a long while that night. Suddenly feeling very bare, [Y/N] pulled the sheets over her body.

“Are you regretting it?” Justin asked.

Alarmed, she answered. “No, are you?”

“Not in the slightest.” He rolled over to look at her, she stared a little longer at the ceiling. “Is it gonna be awkward between us now, or can we just skip over that and do it again?”

“It’s only awkward if we make it awkward,” she replied and shuffled further down the bed and rolled onto her side so that her face was in line with his own.

“..You’re so beautiful.” It was unexpected, and it sent a red hot flush to [Y/N]’s cheeks. Justin noticed. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve called you over the years.”

“We both said things, it was fair. Good game, by the way, you can definitely throw some hits,” she chuckled. ‘We’ll call it a tie.”

“Deal,” Justin grinned. “Can I kiss you now?” he asked, before leaning closer. [Y/N] happily closed the space between them.

It felt strange to be happily kissing someone she thought she despised for such a long time, and Justin wondered how he’d been missing something so wonderful for far too many years. He didn’t dwell on it for too long however; [Y/N]’s ran her tongue across his own and he realised there were far too many new things to experience with her to be dwelling on the past.

2

All I’m saying is Mchanzo confirmed my matessssssss.

EDIT: Hello! Well, apparently people don’t read the tags (I don’t blame you, I hardly to either) but in the tags I said that this was FANART I know this isn’t real I know Blizzard didn’t do this! As I said in the tags, I will the to find the artist but if you know them please let me know and I’ll tag them. I in no way meant to steal this art. This was just in the anniversary video and I noticed it. I thought it was cute that it was acknowledged by Blizzard! Very sorry for any confusion! ❤️