or a marauders map

the map

Snape demands Harry to turn out his pockets and takes the Marauders Map to examine it

James: Oh Snivellus, I’d love to see you try

Lily: What does it do?

James: You’ll see in about a second.

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.

Lily: Oh for Merlin’s sake, the map insults people, too?

James: *grinning* It insults people but drags Snivellus.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

Lily: JAMES!

James: *innocently* What? It’s the map.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.

James: *stifles his laughter*

Lily: Will you ever grow up?

James: Nope.

Mr. Wormtail bids, Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.

James: Ugh, I forgot that prat was there, too.

Lily: I can’t believe you did advanced magic just to insult people.

James: You have to admit it’s a masterpiece though.

Lily: All the brains you had and you created a map that says slimeball.

James: *sad* You don’t know what the map is capable of Lils.

Lily: You are so lucky he is asking about it to Remus.

James: Another proof that Snivellus is a complete idiot but yeah, Remus would know what to do with the map and maybe see that the bloody rat is on it.

Lily: Look at him bullshit his way out of this. Incredible.

James: *smiling* All of you thought he was the innocent one, I mean, that man can bullshit his way out of anything.

Remus takes the map from Snape and takes Harry and Ron with him to talk, he is very angry with Harry.

Lily: Harry is in big trouble.

James: *frustrated* For Godric’s sake, Sirius is not after Harry. I want to throw a rock at Moony’s head. *imitating Remus* These mapmakers would have wanted to lure you out of school. Fuck you Moony.

“Do you know them?” said Harry, impressed.

“We’ve met,” he said shortly.

James: WE’VE MET??? WE’VE MET??? YOU– I MEAN– I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE–

Lily: *soothingly* James, deep breaths

James: I became a fucking stag for that man, don’t tell me to take deep breaths.

Lily: *sarcastically* You’ve got a point, keep on yelling.

“I can’t make you take Sirius Black seriously.”

James: *apruptly stops* Tell me he didn’t just say “take Sirius Black seriously”?

Lily: *laughing* Yes he did.

James: *disappointed* The Remus I know wouldn’t have told that without an eye roll.

Lily: *slowly rubbing James’ back* A lot changes in twelve years, love.

James: *ruffling his hair* They shouldn’t have.

Lily: *reassuringly* It will be alright soon. Look, Remus has the map now, he will see that Peter is in the castle, Remus will know it wasn’t Sirius.

James: Sure but still, I can’t shake the feeling that it will never be the same.

Lily: If I know Remus and Sirius even just a little, it will be better.

James: The stars to his moon, yeah?

Lily: *smiling* Exactly.

Imagine in Cursed Child Harry trying to use the map to make sure Albus and Scorpius stay apart

and the map just rejects him Marauders style like

“Mr Moony presents his compliments to Mr Potter, and begs him to stop being such a bad father.”
“Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Mr Potter is acting like a prat.”
“Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that the wonderful Harry Potter has become such an arse nowadays.”
“Mr Wormtail bids Mr Potter good day, and advises him to sort his fucking life out.”

  • James: [to sirius] if your last name is black, why are you white?
  • Remus: oh my god, prongs, you can't just ask people why they're white
Dating Sirius Black Would Include...

Originally posted by marauderseraimagines

~ You would probably meet because James & Remus slipped some Amortentia into his pumpkin juice at dinner because they were tired of listening to him talk about you and Sirius would be all over you for the rest of the night

~ The next day Sirius would apologize and you would be super forgiving because you have such a huge crush on him 

~ “Why’re you so understanding, huh Y/L/N? You like it or something?” he’d say with an eyebrow raised and a hot smug smile/ smirk

~ “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Black.” 

~ And he’d just kiss you

~ And you’d kiss him back

~ And he’d tell you the Amortentia smelled like James Potter’s house, the smell of a new leather jacket, and your perfume and that he’d seen them slip it in his drink, he just wanted an excuse

~ And you would be unofficially official (in his mind at least) 

~ You wouldn’t know you were his girlfriend until some Ravenclaw you’d never met ran from you after you smiled at him, claiming that he didn’t want to even breathe in Sirius Black’s girlfriend’s direction because Sirius would most likely kill him

~ And so you’d ask Sirius and he’d just turn into a blushing, mumbling git

~ “I mean…you want to be my girlfriend, yeah?” 

~ “I’d love to be your girlfriend, Sirius.” 

~ And he would smile and kiss your lips quickly before scurrying off down the hallway to his next class, “Later, angel!” 

~ You would support him at Quidditch games (even if you weren’t in his house), wearing his school scarf 

~ Victory sex after they win the Qudditch Cup

~ “Did you just use the stupefy charm or are you just a natural stunner?” 

~ Lazy cuddling and eating chocolate muffins Sirius had smuggled from the kitchen in your dorm room on Sunday mornings

~ Playing pranks on him with James 

~ Winks across the classroom

~ Lip bites whenever you walked in a room that drove you absolutely insane

~ Sirius would like calling you anything except your name so lots and lots of pet names that you couldn’t get enough of

~ When he would get detention you would get in trouble purposely and sit in detention with him 

~ Sirius would be such a whiner 

~ “Babe, give me a kiss.” 

~ “Angel, I need attention.” 

~ “Stop loving your books more than me.” 

~ You would get extremely jealous of all the girls throwing themselves at him

~ He’d usually makes jokes about it but definitely assure you that you were all he needed / wanted 

~ Sitting at the dinner table in a comfortable silence until James pipes up 

~ “Remus owes me 3 galleons.” 

~ “Yeah, what for?” you/Sirius would ask

~ “We had a contest to see who could moan Sirius’ name and sound more like Y/N. Peter judged, and I won.”  

~ He would start imitating how you sound and you would just want to crawl in a hole and die 

~ Sirius would just laugh and pull you into his chest as you blush and mumble about how much of a prick James was

~ Lots and lots of hickeys

~ He would help you with astronomy work all the time because he was so good at it 

~ Always pointing at Canis Major when you had dates in the astronomy tower

~ And he would run his fingers through your hair and tell you, “You know, love, I used to be so amazed by the stars but, now, I look at you and wonder how the stars in the sky could ever compare to the ones in your eyes.” 

~ And you would be so astounded by how in love this boy was with you that you wouldn’t even know what to say and you would pull him into the deepest kiss 

~ And he would laugh and hold you, whispering how much he loved you into your ear as you pointed out more constellations 

~ Him watching you on the Marauder’s Map

~ James would be so fed up and annoyed when you two first started dating 

~ “Sirius, if you say Y/N one more time, I’ll kill you.” 

~ He would always warn you about pranks before he pulled them not wanting you in the crossfires 

~ You would be so impressed by his pranking brilliance 

~ “Sirius, if you put as much work as you did into schoolwork as you did in these elaborate pranks, you would be top of the class.” 

~ “You sound like Dumbledore.” 

~ He would always give you his leather jacket when you looked the slightest bit uncomfortable 

~ You’d walk into their dorm and Peter would smile, “Hey, Mrs. Black.” 

~ “Don’t call her that,” Sirius would grumble. “She’s not a Black. She’s too pure to be a Black.” 

~ You would do normal things like fly on a broomstick or walking across icy sidewalks to get inside and Sirius would lose his mind

~ “Darling, please be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I’m always worrying, you know that.” 

~ “Sirius, I was just walking up the steps.” 

~ Getting into legitimate fights about books with Remus

~ “Moony, stop yelling at my baby! Middle-Earth is not a real place, anyways!” 

~ And you would turn around and throw your Care of Magical Creatures textbook at him and scream, “IT IS A REAL PLACE, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’M NOT YOUR BABY!” 

~ Remus would smiled, “Yeah, Middle-Earth isn’t a real place until your girlfriend leaves you for Legolas.” 

~ Cold walks in Hogsmeade hand in hand, laughing 

~ Piggy back rides to class

~ He’d grab/slap your ass ALL THE TIMe

~ “I don’t deserve you.”  

~ “Don’t you ever say that again.” 

~ Getting tattoos together during the summer

~ Slughorn catching you in a closet of spare potion ingredients half naked making out

~ He would freak out and take you to Dumbledore who would pace in his office for about thirty minutes before letting out a heavy sigh and sitting down at his desk and giving you and Sirius the sex talk 

~ James would think it was the most hilarious thing to ever happen 

~ You and James would have a brother/sister relationship

~ Snape would be SO mean to you

~ Running your fingers through Sirius’ hair as he studies 

~ The absolute best sex you have ever had in your life

~ Sirius walking around Gryffindor common room shirtless in pajama pants with long flaunting the long scratches down his back 

~ You would pretend to be so angry but you would secretly love it because he was yours and every girl in that room now knew it

~ I feel like Sirius would try to start a punk rock band out of the Marauders but it would fail miserably so late at night, he would sing unfinished, abandoned, amazing songs in your ear softly 

~ He would just be an amazing boyfriend 

~ Idk I want Sirius Black so bad

6

character posters: the marauders 

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
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