You fell in love with the one. Your very first love was everything. You went to the movies and held hands. You fell asleep looking at the sky while laying in a field. You looked at each other like love was all that mattered. You ran through the rain and hugged and cried and tried with everything you had to make it work. Your heart skipped a beat, and you didn’t think you could fall any harder. Of course, you thought you’d be different. It was true love to you. But then the late night conversations stopped. The cute hair twirling stopped. You ended up screaming and fighting even when it was the last thing either of you wanted. You begged the universe to let it work. You convinced yourself you wouldn’t leave no matter what they did. Then, they left you. Your first love left you with a broken heart for someone who didn’t love them. I’m sorry, beautiful one. I’m sorry you fell in love with the perfect person who turned out to just be human.
31 - “You lied to me.” ~hoping i did this right hnnnnn~
now im writing an angsty fic bc im UPSET ABOUT MY COMPUTER CRASHING
#31- “You lied to me.”
Jack froze in his tracks as a familiar figure appeared in front of him in the dark.
“F-Felix..” he stuttered, closing the front door.
“Seán.” the word was practically thrown at Jack. “Nice of you to finally come home.”
“I..I can explain..” Jack said, hands out as if he was afraid Felix would advance on him.
“There’s no need.” His boyfriend said flatly. Jack couldn’t see him well in the 1am moonlight, but he could tell he was mad. “I already know.”
“Don’t ‘Fe’ me.” Felix took a step toward his boyfriend, causing Jack to flinch. “You lied to me.” he spat.
There was quiet as Jack hung his head.
“I-I know..” he mumbled. “I just..” he looked up again, eyes brimming with tears. He hated making Felix mad. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
“So you lied to me?” Felix asked, his voice raising. Jack bit his lip. The tears spilled from his eyes and onto his cheeks, silently falling to the floor.
“I just thought it was better if you didn’t know..” he whispered. “I was gonna tell you.” his voice broke at the end of his sentence, causing him to only choke up more.
“So you thought it was totally fine to lie to you boyfriend, sneak out after we went to bed, then come home two hours later just because you were going to tell me later!?” Felix asked. His voice was loud now, making Jack wince.
“I-I dunno..” Jack barely recognized his own voice as he stared at the floor.
“I can’t believe you, Seán.” There it was again. Jack’s chest ached. “This isn’t the boy I fell in love with, and you know it.”
Ow. Jack felt his heart completely shatter; he slid down the wall onto the floor. He was silent, letting the tears flow. He wasn’t breathing.
“You lied to me.” Felix repeated. “You’ve never done that. Or maybe you have! How would I know?!”
“I’m sorry Fe’..” Jack whispered.
“You can sleep on the couch tonight.” Felix suddenly snapped. He walked back to their bedroom, slamming the door.
Jack was shaking by now, his entire body willing him to get up and go after his boyfriend. But he just sat there, knees up to his chest.
He didn’t deserve Felix.
He didn’t deserve his constant love, affection, caring.
He was a bad boyfriend.
A sob caught in his throat, and Jack let his head fall forward on his knees.
‘This isn’t the boy I fell in love with, and you know it.’
this is 1am worship to the wrong guy, drinking in words that sting on their way down and drying your tears with pages of someone else’s Holy book. he drops you on nail beds when you ask him to stay.
and here are promises that you’re full of anything at all, that you’re not empty or at least missing part of your mind. the lies taste so much better when you’re happy, they do, but they’re sandpaper when it’s late. you’ve scratched your throat raw lately.
but maybe there’s something out there. maybe there’s grace or hope or someone to hold during hurricanes. (or maybe there’s love, if you look. maybe.)
redemption story, part i (catherine w // sempiternalwriting)
just a quick disclaimer: i am singaporean so i am very well aware of xiaxue’s bashing tendencies and when i saw her tweets about monsta x, in all honesty, i was not surprised. what surprised me was that she brought a so-called taboo issue like transgenderism into this equation lmao it is one thing to bitch about a group but it is another to mock transgenderism in the process of proving your point that monsta x is a group of “effeminate men”.
ok so xiaxue is this singaporean youtuber/blogger person who is very notorious for being blunt when sharing her opinions on issues/people that she does not agree on/does not like.
so here’s a little background information as to why xiaxue mentioned monsta x and all that; monsta x arrived in singapore on 24 february at around 1am and coincidentally, that was the flight that xiaxue was on too. and this is what she had to say:
so what she is basically trying to say is that
1. jooheon was happy in that picture because he could feel shownu’s dick on his ass
2. kihyun is transgender
3. monsta x doesn’t deserve to have fans because they are effeminate men
and firstly, i would like to apologise on her behalf, as a singaporean monbebe, for her ignorant and immature words and also;
secondly, please help to report her tweets (and her account too if you’d like) because i dont want her disgusting tweets to influence monsta x’s possibilities of coming back to singapore because it would really suck if they dont come back because of the mindless words of a 32 year old woman who is just jealous that the boys are prettier than her even though she has gone through countless of nose jobs, botox and heavy makeup (i am not exaggerating ok she admitted these).
Admitting to Jefferson that he’d never felt the warmth of a woman was not the worst thing Gold could have done…
(( I have no idea where this came from but it’s 1am and it didn’t leave me alone until I wrote it so here’s the first chapter out of two or three most likely. This chapter is rated M. Next chapter will be E. ))
Mr. Gold’s tone was firm, giving no room for argument. The other man only chuckled as he leaned against the display counter in the pawn shop. Really, he should have known to expect this sort of push back, but Jefferson Hatter was often considered mad, and so he continued to press despite the most powerful man in town glaring at him from across the counter.
“I thought you’d be interested is all.” Jefferson said, sliding the business card he’d produced back towards Gold. “You were the one who mentioned it the other night at the bar.”
“After four glasses of scotch and three shots of whiskey.” Gold shot back. “I’m not interested in prostitutes, Jeff.”
“When I told you I knew some girls I didn’t mean like that. She’s not a prostitute.” Jefferson defended. “She’s just part of the group I know. They all use pseudonyms to keep things simple and worry-free so they don’t have to deal with the judgemental stares. There’s even a contract they write up if that makes you feel better. No strings ever attached. She’s just a girl who would rather remain anonymous and enjoys–”
Jefferson sighed, giving his signature top hat a twirl in his hand before shrugging. “Alright, Gold. Suit yourself.” He slid the business card closer to the other man, though. “In case you change your mind. I think she’s be a good fit for you.”
The bell above the door rang, bidding Jefferson farewell in a much more cheerful tone than Gold’s venomous glare. He groaned, running his hand through his hair as he all but collapsed into the small chair behind the counter. He should have never let it slip that he was still a virgin, let alone to Jefferson. He should have known better. But he’d been lonely and drunk and admitting that he’d never felt the warmth of a woman wasn’t the worst thing he could have admitted to Jefferson. Still, he hadn’t expected his friend to remember that fact, much less act upon it.
i started watching Black Sails and I love it so fucking much but I can’t go in the tag here on tumblr because I’m still on season 1 and there are so many spoilers and it’s 1am right now and i’m watching the season final oh god it’s so good