- deep conversations at 4am - people who remember small details about you - hugs and cuddles - thunderstorms - the thought of coming home to your love one day - forehead kisses - learning something new - helping others through tough times - finding a new favorite song - concerts and festivals - creating art, whatever that might be - making someone smile - finding a great comeback-line at the right time - wearing something that is out of your comfort-zone - getting compliments from strangers - cooking a nice meal - finding new friends
My relationship with my friend is being effected a lot because I tend to be extremely pessimistic. Is there any way to change that?
By being extremely pessimistic you are likely affecting your friend in a negative way. Everyone has their days but being very negative all the time is not fun for the people around you. You can try a gratitude journal or noticing the positives in your life more, or at least feed the negativity less.
Rosy, how does one get to be positive/hopeful? I see you guys talking about believing in Bellarke and having hope but what if all that goes for nothing and your heart crashes and burns? (Lets keep the drama cos we know how to do that in this fandom). I like to call myself a realist so when i see you guys talk i wonder if you aren't afraid of the disappointment that might follow? (Not trying to bring you down it just amazes me really cos im not like that but bless you guys,i love the positivity.)
Listen. It’s really hard to stay positive. I used to be a complete optimist when I was young, and you know what happened? I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I believed there was always hope and if I kept trying and did my best, I might.
And you know what happened? Sometimes I got what I wanted. And sometimes I didn’t. And as life went on, it kept happening like that. And I lost some of my rosy glow (rosy, haha) and i started getting more pessimistic. Believe it or not, I am a realist. I know things suck. I know bad things happen. I know good people lose. I know I will fail. Sometimes in life I feel like I always fail, but I recognize that as a pessimistic outlook and no more true than the idea that I will always win.
The positivity comes in when you believe that you can handle the failure. That you can get up and keep getting up, and keep trying and next time you can win. The belief that you can HANDLE it if your heart gets broken.
Confidence, and positivity, is not about thinking everything is always going to go your way, it’s about believing that when it doesn’t go your way, you can handle it.
The other thing about being positive is that it’s more enjoyable than being negative. When you look at a situation as potentially good, you enjoy it. When you look at it as bad, you lose the opportunity to enjoy it for what it is. Even if the situation ends up bad, that means the positive person still got to enjoy it before it tanked, and the negative person never did. You get more enjoyment out of being positive. Also, staying positive means you are open to the opportunities that might come your way and might LEAD to the next positive thing.
As for Bellarke, why am I so positive about it? Because not only do I legitimately think that the story is building towards Bellarke, not as just a ship, but as a narrative device, but also because it’s fun to keep looking at the potential of Bellarke. And the thing is, everything I see in the show itself points towards Bellarke. The only things that DON’T point to Bellarke right now, are some comments by people who have their own agenda and don’t actually have anything to do with how the story works out. They are opinions about the show, not the text itself, and so do not serve as evidence.
I honestly believe in Bellarke. If Bellarke does not happen, however, I will be okay. You wanna know why? Because it’s just a show. It doesn’t effect my real life. Seeing a romance on tv is not a reflection on what will happen in my life. And there are other stories out there, or I can make my own stories, or I can focus on fan fiction, or I can just shrug and say, “well they fucked that up.” It is not a reflection on me or my life or my happiness or the nature of humanity or the direction the world is going. It’s just a story, one of many, that I have loved through out my life.
So while this show is going on, my favorite show mind you, I am going to ENJOY IT. And that means I’m not going to perseverate on the imperfections, and instead I am going to REVEL in the awesomeness. I am going to talk about what I love and I am going to share the things that make me happy and I am going to think about the ways it MIGHT work out because I am going to have faith that the show will be satisfying. Obviously they are going to make us suffer, but so far, for me, none of that suffering has ruined it for me. It was questionable in midseason 3, but I had faith in the writers and they brought us through the darkness.
I BELIEVE that this is a good story, even when it wrings our hearts. So I am going to keep the faith and be positive and