nobody “allows” themselves to be abused, you think abusers are waiting for the fucking permission? they’re not waiting for anything they’ll jump at any chance to abuse and then fucking pretend nothing even happened! or that the victims deserved it by just existing! victims have a lot of better things to do than to make sure that in their entire lives nobody gets the chance to abuse them, and it’s impossible too because abusers generate those chances, they make sure the chances are there, they make sure victims are unable to escape or even realize that abuse is going on! victims are victims precisely because they get no control over what’s going on! nobody sure as hell asks them for permission! It’s insane to blame victims for merely existing in a hostile environment where all their energy and time is spent on desperately trying to protect themselves! blame abusers for being predatory opportunist hateful narcissistic pieces of shit and generating that kind of inhumane environment!