Guts over fear
Imagine you’re Jax’s unwanted daughter and you take a shot for Abel.
Your mother used to be one of SAMCRO’s most famous crow eaters, but never good enough, or friendly enough or sane enough to be one of SAMCRO’s Old Ladies; That’s why it never made sense when she took you to live with your father, Jax Teller. You remembered the cold night you and you mom stopped at TM, and you also remembered the long talk her, Gemma, Clay and Jax held, while you were on the picnic table, being stared at by Chibs and Bobby.
“If she’s anything like her mother, it meas trouble.” You heard them whisper as you felt so insecure and tiny; Like a mouse.
Your mother left the clubhouse stumbling and almost falling twice, you figured out it was because she was a bit drunk, coming from work and all. She earned the bread as a stripper in the famous Jelly Bean, but now she had to go on a road tour with his boss, also, your step father.
“Guess what?!” She said, never sounding so excited. “He said yes! Jax said it was okay for you to stay here!” She smiled at you and hugged you, rain dripping all over her body, standing taller than you because of her 10 inch heels, the smell of cheap perfume mixed with even cheaper vodka and the lowest of the lowest of weed.
You may have been young, but not stupid. He didn’t wanted you there, and you were used to the idea. Your whole life your mother had been telling you that you’d have been the product of a crazy part in her life, and that your father knew about you, yet, he didn’t wanted anything to do with you.
Jackson was staring at both of you, standing near the picnic table, Old Lady in hand and beer in another one. The cute brunette was holding a baby, maybe a four year old boy, looking a bit preoccupied and proud. Gemma, your grandmother, was looking at your mother like she had the plague, crossing her arms along her chest and puckering her lips with disdain.
“Mom…” You said to your mother, looking up at her. “Just a week, right? Not more?” She smiled at you, playing with your hair and handing you your backpack.
“Sure, sweetheart. You just wait!” She said already walking out of TM, you following close, your stepfather waiting for her on the car. “We’ll come back with tons and tons of money” She said sound excited. You faked a smile and waved her goodbye as your stepfather care drove into the street, under the rain.
You turned around just to see Jackson and the woman, who later you’ve learned name was Tara, go back into the clubhouse, Clay and Gemma following close.
When you went into the clubhouse, you could tell why your mother said she really liked SAMCRO. The whole place was so warm, they were like a really big family, caring for each other and loving each other.
And you understood that; You were never a part of it. Your mother was thrown away when they knew she was pregnant and Jax didn’t want to be a part of it. He was still young and he had been cheated on Tara, and Chibs and Bobby were right. Your mother was all troubles.
As you walked in, a blonde, dumb looking kid, a few years older than you came closer to you, a kutte on his body but not fully patched in. A Prospect.
“Hey!” He said, gladly. “Can i help you with…”
“Prospect!” You heard Jax yell, sending shivers down your spine as you turned around. “She can do it alone.” A single death look from the VP and the Prospect was out of sight. You sighed and grabbed your bags, turning around, speaking to your father for the first time in your life.
“Uhm. Where do i put my stuff?” He looked at you, disdain in his eyes, as the room went silent.
“Second door to the right.” And it was all he said to you for the next few days.
The week your mother said became a week and two days, then a week and a half, and before you knew it, three weeks had passed and she was nowhere to be seen. You were boiling with rage and at nights, you were crying yourself to sleep.
There you were, being throwned around like your mother did when she was SAMCROS sweet butt. Chibs bossed you around, Juice spilled things over just for you to clean, Bobby, Piney and Clay ignored the hell out you. Not a day went by without Happy telling you hurtful things and Opie just made faces at your presence. Jax still didn’t talked to you.
They were ignoring you so hard you were starting to doubt if you still existed.
Everyone was out at TM, having a good time, in the weekly BBQ your grandma offered. Feeling sick of being inside, reclusive in your room, you decided to walk out, book in hand and sit down next to Abel’s playground, secretly looking at him play with Opie’s kids; He was your baby brother after all.
Everything happened so fast after that. The usual roar of engines started to arrive at TM and it was too late when they realized they were Mayans. Panicking you got up, looking for shelter as the bullets started flying around; Everyone screaming and running in different directions, people falling to the floor and the sound of childrens crying.
“Childrens!” You thought to yourself dropping the book and going back on your steps to the playground.
“Abel!” You heard both, Tara and Jax scream. Following their gaze you saw Abel crying on the playground, too scared to even move; in the distance, a young Mayan running over to him. “Oh my god, Abel!”
“Abel!” you started screaming, running over to him and knocking him down between your arms, the second the young Mayan, probably a prospect shooted. You took 3 in your back as you fell to the ground, Abel still crying in your arms.
“(Y/N)!” You heard someone yell but the stinging and pain was too much for you. The world went black in a matter of seconds.
You were gone.
The sound of beeping woke you up, finally. Your head was a wreck and you were sure you couldn’t move.
Maybe it was all a dream, you thought, but deep down you knew it wasnt true. You were in a hospital bed, with bands all over your chest and a killer headache, along with a double killer chest pain. You opened your eyes and closed them for a second before opening them again, to take in the sight.
The complete white room had the TV on; Tom & Jerry re- runs on the screen, a bit loud for your condition.
“(Y/N)” you heard but no one was there. You look down to see Abel smiling up at you, a band around his tiny head and scratches all over his face. You smiled down at him, glad that he was safe.
“Hey, dude.” You whispered friendly, wanting to mess his hair but your arm couldn’t take the pain.
“Daddy!” He screamed cheerfully.
Jax came out of the bathroom running, gun in hand, looking everywhere and relaxing when he saw just the both of you.
Tara came into the room seconds later, in full uniform and injures on her face and hand. She looked at you on the bed and flashed a small smile, looking at Abel and Jax; Your father couldn’t look you in the eyes.
“A-Abel…” she stuttered, licking her lips. “Let’s get (Y/N) some cookies, i bet she’s hungry.” the doctor looked at you and smiled again. “Dr. Namid will be here in a few minutes”
You nodded, still confused.
“She slept a lot.” The kid said, grabbing her mom’s hand and smiling as she lifted him up. “Goodbye big sister!” Abel said waving at you and exiting the room with Tara. Tears were starting to spill out of your eyes when you were left alone with your father.
That’s when you took notice of the bouquets of flowers all over the room. All of them bright colors. Even a beautiful single rose, with a card saying: “From Gemma..” You stared at them, more confused than ever and looked at Jax.
“Jax, what is this?” You said grabbing the flower and placing it on your lap.
“The flowers are from the club. Chibs, Juice and Happy stay the night every day. It’s me, Clay and Opie who stay during the day. I’m telling you, the parking lot looks like a freaking Harley Davidson festival.” You laughed a little. “ The rose is from my mom. She came by this morning. She’s been here all this time.”
“All this time?” you blinked.
“You’ve been in a coma for a week.” He said, suddenly feeling ashamed and sitting down on the chair next to your bed. It fell on you like a ton of bricks.
“I’m glad Abel is alright…”
Jax nodded, biting his lip and looking at you, his face already red, a single tear falling down his cheek. You gasped and covered your mouth. That was new.
“I’m sorry…” He whispered. “I’m sorry i walked away. I didn’t wanted to be a father, i was 17.” He shook his head. “I was scared to death and it was easier to blame it on your mom” You listened to every single one of his words. “When you showed up, i hated you. I hated you because you reminded me of all my weakness, how much of a coward i was to leave a pregnant woman. I hated you because you reminded me of the father i could have been.”
He grabbed your hand and kissed it.
“Would you forgive me?” And you saw it. Right there, on the inside of his arm, opossite position to the memorial tattoo he had for John, it was your name in fresh ink. You gasped and slowly nodded your hand, letting your hands run free and feeling relieved for the first time in months. “You saved my son. You saved this family, (Y/N). You’ll never be alone again.” He gulped and looked at both of your hands. “I don’t blame you if you think i’m an asshole. I don’t blame you if you think that any of us is an asshole, we acted like one. I’m trying to say…i’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, (Y/N)”
“Jax, I…” you wanted to say something when he stood up and kissed your forehead slowly.
“It’s Dad…” He whispered, caressing your head. “I’m your Dad, and you’re a Teller” you locked gazes and both of you softly smiled. “I love you kid.”
“I love you too, Dad.”