oops if this has been done already

2

when you find a pawn partner, plans to dominate the world together taste so much sweeter

Ikea Run Headcannon -p. parker

october 2nd, 2017

prompt: going to ikea with peter - headcanons

word count: 900-ish? (short for me )): )

warnings: swearing for sure & fluff?? grumpy peter if that’s a thing??

a/n: this has probably already been done before but here’s my take on this prompt!! also this is college peter with college reader just an fyi, enjoy :) feedback is welcomed and much appreciated!! sorry if this isn’t the best, this is my first headcanon and it’s quite late at night when i’ve posted this oops

pairing: college!peter parker x reader

____________

  • you were only going to ikea for one little insignificant item
  • (spoiler: it was a coffee table bc peter somehow destroyed the only other one you two had yiKES)
  • you figured you might as well drag bring peter along bc he was your platonic roommate, and he should have a say in what kind of coffee table you two had in your living room, right?
  • it wasn’t bc you had developed feelings for peter and wanted to spend some one-on-one time with him, right?
  • anyways, peter was being grumpy in the subway ride on the way to ikea since he had originally planned on having a lazy day indoors
  • he was so grumpy to the point where he refused to hold on to the handles to keep him upright
  • instead he would cross his arms across his chest with his hands in lil fists
  • every time the train would stop or start too harshly, peter would nearly fall on top of you
  • you would give him a lil glare but in secret you really loved it bc his eyes would go super wide and he’d immediately grasp onto you to make sure you were okay
  • peter wasn’t actually all that grumpy though after a while, he was just really deep in thought about how fuckin cute his roommate looked in his pullover that they didn’t think peter would notice had been stolen from his laundry
  • when you guys got off the subway, peter wasn’t acting grumpy anymore and he offered out his arm for you to hold onto so you wouldn’t get lost 
  • you gladly accepted :))))
  • finally y’all made it to ikea and it was sUpEr crowded so peter puts his hand over yours to keep you on his arm
  • you died before you could even say anything
  • you and peter started wandering the aisles of ikea
  • peter was enjoying himself a lot more than you originally thought
  • he would drag you by the hand into the bedroom and office sections and he would script out lil scenarios for you two to act out
  • “oh y/n look at this one!! i’ll be an old-fashioned mobster and you owe me money” he then sits in the giant swivel chair behind the huge wooden desk while you play along
  • *swivels around dramatically with his hands interlocked* “i told you already, i don’t let no stragglers off the hook so easily. where’s my money pal??”
  • “i don’t know man, i got bills up to my elbows to pay here! please, i got a family to take care of!”
  • these don’t last too long because peter either breaks out laughing or sees something else he wants to check out and drags the both of you towards it
  • what was originally only supposed to be a two hour trip at most ended up lasting for much longer than that
  • peter was having so much of a good time just exploring the store in all its glory
  • you couldn’t help but let your heart melt at the sight of peter so carefree and happy
  • he was for sure like a puppy, especially with those big brown eyes of his 
  • you two had ended up in the mattress section
  • both of you were laying on the same mattress together when a few horrible realizations hit you:
    • a) you two hadn’t picked out a coffee table yet 
    • b) you were falling more for peter
    • c) you two were completely fucking lost in ikea 
  • you had sat up immediately in panic so peter was like “whoa what’s wrong?”
  • you turned to peter with the most horrified expression on your face
  •  “i forgot the yarn peter”
  • peter is MORE than confused bc why would you need to bring yarn to ikea??
  • “peter, we’re gonna get lost and die!”
  •  “what?! no we’re not, why would you think that?”
  • “because ikea is a literal maze and we’re never gonna find a way out without the yarn that i forgot!!” 
  • peter’s face kinda drops from the sudden realization that ikea is, in fact, structured to be a maze 
  • he’s trying not to panic but his face says it all 
  • he’s trying to think of solutions in his head if they did end up getting lost inside ikea
  • his phone was nearly dead though
  • oh wait i can just ask karen inside the suit to help- 
  • he realized that he was dumb enough to leave the Spider suit at home
    • in his defense, he didn’t think they’d be spending almost all day at ikea
  • “we’ll be fine, let’s go get that coffee table now, yeah?”
  • you just nodded and peter offered his hand out since he saw how stressed you were over the littlest inconvenience
  • peter was about to get mind-fucked when he realized how important that ‘little inconvenience’ would actually be 

a/n: if you made it this far into the reading, than thank you! i wanna make a part 2 to this headcanon, so let me know what your thoughts are! 

HEY idk if this has been done before (sorry if it has and I’m just being a massive bother oops) but could I request an extremely socially anxious S/O trying to confess to the boys? And by extremely socially anxious I mean like “oh alright time to imagine all the worst outcomes, stop breathing and also cry lmao that’ll make a good impression”. In any case, love your blog, keep up the good work!!

Relatable.

Korekiyo Shinguuji

  • Talking to Korekiyo Shinguuji was already a huge challenge.
  • I mean, have you seen the guy?
  • He’s tall, handsome, and he’s intimidating as hell!
  • Confessing to him was going to be impossible!
  • And yet here you were.
  • In front of him, struggling to find the words
  • Because he’s just kind of staring at you with those piercing eyes of his.
  • He’s probably judging you so hard right now
  • But you can’t tell because he isn’t saying anything.
  • He patiently waits for you to say what you want to tell him.
  • He takes it rather well.

Rantarou Amami

  • Okay, this is it. The day you confess to Amami.
  • He pulled him somewhere private to confess but
  • God, what if he thinks this is creepy?
  • What if he thinks you’re creepy?
  • He would never say that to your face because he’s way too nice for that but
  • You still can’t help but imagine what if.
  • Oh god, you’ve just been standing there, staring at him
  • Say something.
  • In less romantic words than you would have liked, you blurt out your confession.
  • He blinks at you for a few minutes before he gladly accepts your feelings.

Kokichi Ouma

  • He sees that you’re nervous about this.
  • And is doing everything in his power to make this even harder for you.
  • He is less than a foot away from you
  • With the biggest grin on his face.
  • “Was there something you wanted to say~?”
  • You eventually stammer out a confession
  • He just kind of giggles.
  • “Nishishi! I know! I just wanted to see how much you really wanted to confess!”
  • Cheeky little shit.
  • But at least you did it.

Shuuichi Saihara

  • He had no idea what you wanted to talk about.
  • So he was just about as nervous as you were.
  • “Um-”
  • “Uh-”
  • Followed by “Sorry! You go first!” from both of you.
  • Repeat.
  • Your confession takes a lot longer than you would have liked.
  • But eventually you get there.
  • He feels really bad for interrupting you now.

Kaito Momota

  • He’s trying to wait patiently
  • But he knows you want to say something important. 
  • So after about three minutes, he snaps at you to spit it out.
  • Oh god, you’ve made him mad.
  • This was a bad idea after all.
  • You knew this would happen.
  • You tell him to forget it and run off.
  • The thought of confessing to him crosses your mind occasionally
  • But you decide against it.
  • He knows he messed this up and there aren’t any words to express how guilty he feels.

Kiibo

  • You’re particularly nervous because of the fact that he recording functions.
  • Because if you mess this up, he will remember.
  • And he will be able to show others.
  • Forever.
  • He’s just been staring at you really intently.
  • So how do you do this in a way that won’t record?
  • You come up with an idea but it’s somehow even more risky.

  • You have to confess somehow.
  • You tell Kiibo to shut his eyes.
  • He’s confused but he complies.
  • You suck in a deep breath.
  • Then you give him a small peck on the cheek.
  • Judging from the blush, he got the message.
  • The feeling’s mutual.

Gonta Gokuhara

  • Gonta can tell that you’re nervous about something.
  • But he doesn’t know what.
  • Ah! Gonta’s not scaring you, is he?!
  • He tries to make himself slightly less intimidating.
  • There! Is that better?
  • You end up laughing.
  • Because you were here to say that he was doing the exact opposite of scaring you.

Ryouma Hoshi

  • You finally mustered up the courage to confess to him.
  • But you have no idea how he will react.
  • So you just cross your fingers and hope.
  • At first, he doesn’t say much of anything.
  • That makes you start panicking.
  • Is he creeped out?
  • Is he mad?
  • You can’t tell.
  • Finally, his eyes narrow.
  • “Is this some sort of joke?”
  • You try to assure him that this isn’t a joke.
  • He eventually relaxes and accepts your feelings.
  • But you still worry that he thinks you’re tricking him.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!
Did you see this wonderful and great comic that the always lovely @mafia-and-coloring-books​ made for me?? I was very inspired by the first panel so I took a short break from work to present to you.. Uncle Simon. I’m sorry if this has already been done..!
I hope 2017 treats you kindly!! ☆

Things to say to your partner during sex
  • Hooray Im Dan yaaaaay
  • Dont easily die here
  • Autobots roll out. Youre dead
  • Im in space! Ross sucks
  • Purple planet death party 
  • run for life oh fuck shit
  • eat dicks arnold fuck you you su
  • astro chicken rocks socks
  • Orteeeeegggaa
  • Dont fall in this time dickweed
  • Dont fall in this time either cock
  • 8 million ways to die: choose 1
  • kinda nervewracking like that?
  • puched a child

Apparently in Bottomless Pit, when Stan is telling his story, the football players have uniforms that resemble the Packers.

Soooo, headcanon that Stan is a Packers fan and he and Vlad actually met at a game and hit it off. 

Basically now I’m just thinking about grumpy old men and their sports obsessions. 

Who From Ace Attorney Should You Fight?

Phoenix Wright who wins: probably Phoenix

Phoenix’s body is probably made out of frickin iron or something this guy has  chewed and swallowed a necklace, been physically assaulted by a murderer, hit over the head with a fire extinguisher with temporary amnesia as the only consequence, was thrown head first into a telephone pole but walked away with only frickin sprained ankle, and fell from a bridge on fiRE INTO A FREEZING RIVER WITH ONLY A FEVER.  If you can catch him off guard and are extremely skilled in martial arts, you might be able to win but otherwise Nick will probably fuck you up only because his body is probably invincible to harm.

Maya Fey who wins: NO ONE BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT HAVING A FIGHT

WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU FIGHTING THE ACTUAL RAY OF SUNSHINE THAT IS MAYA FEY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH????  If for some sick reason this thought has appeared in your brain, however, she’s pretty small and probably couldn’t withstand more than one or two blows…although she’s probably agile as shit and might have learned a thing or two from the Steel Samurai.  But also dO NOT FIGHT MAYA FEY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS DO YOU HATE HAPPINESS

Miles Edgeworth who wins: Edgeworth

Yeah, you’re not gonna win this one…just look at that smug little face.  He knows infinitely more than you do, and even if you wanted to fight him you would probably regret it.  Definitely would do anything necessary to win, so have fun when you’re suffocated by his cravat.  Sorry.

The Judge who wins: you

I don’t think the judge is super ripped underneath his robes, so you can win this one…also the judge is gullible as shit, too.  That helps.

Mia Fey: who wins: probably not you

If you have a statue of “The Thinker” you might have a chance (I am a piECE OF GARBAGE)…but otherwise she will send your ass to frickin demon hell.  Don’t fight Mia Fey.

Dick Gumshoe who wins: it’s 50-50

Is he huge?  Yeah.  Is he a detective and therefore most likely trained in some sort of self defense?  Yeah.  Is he also a weenie?  Yeah.  I think you could probably win if you went for his face and fought quickly, although Gumshoe is fiercely protective of people he cares about and would probably cut a bitch if you insulted Edgeworth.  But also what did poor Gumshoe do to deserve this?? Why do you feel the need to fight him he will probably use a year’s paycheck to cover his medical expenses???  

Larry Butz who wins: you

Yeah you’ll win but at what cost???  Why do you feel the need to do this???

Wendy Oldbag who wins: hopefully you

Don’t fight Oldbag unless you are certain you can win–then PLEASE fight Oldbag I’m sorry but she just needs to stop

Manfred von Karma who wins: r u fo real

No move is too dirty for von Karma; his attacks range from whipping out a taser to fabricating evidence to frame you of murder.  You won’t win this one, buddy.

Marvin Grossberg who wins: probably you

While he’s got a lot “cushion” to take some damage, just steal his glasses because you can bet your bottom dollar that he is batshit blind without them and then punch him in the nose–he won’t see that coming!! (I am literally trash)

Winston Payne who wins: definitely you

There is like a 95% chance you will win this fight, and honestly fight Winston Payne.  He needs to be forcefully pushed off his high horse for frick’s sake he basically has the word pain in his name please do it do it for me  

Pearl Fey who wins: N O

what the FUCK is wrong with you go reevaluate your life choices you piece of garbage

Franziska von Karma who wins: probably her

Yeah, I know most of you think that she could probably hand anyone’s ass back to them howeVER if you can catch her whip somehow you can definitely absolutely stand a chance.  The sheer shock of losing her most powerful weapon will give you a pretty big opening, so I think winning is possible against Franziska.  I still don’t recommend it, though.

Morgan Fey who wins: Morgan

As much as I want you to punch Morgan Fey in the face, don’t.  You may win the battle but you will probably never, ever win the war she will plot the most convoluted revenge plot imaginable so frickin watch yourself around Morgan don’t fight her it’s for your own good

Matt Engarde who wins: you

PUNCH THIS FUCKER RIGHT IN THE FRICKIN FACE DO THE WORLD A FAVOR P L E A S E  

Dahlia Hawthorne who wins: she literally almost killed someone even though she was DEAD do you actually think this is a good idea??

Do you KNOW who Dahlia Hawthorne is?  You’re not going to win a fight–she’ll bite, scratch, pinch, scream in your face or piss on you if that’s what it takes for her to win.  

Godot: who do you frickin think dipshit

If you’re thinking to yourself, “wow I really want to fight Godot!!!” then you should definitely fight Godot so that he can wipe your miserable ass off the face of the earth I will not be coming to your funeral son

Charley who wins: haha loser you’re fighting a plant