Request: Maybe a fic where Negan finds the reader (or a short girl with curly hair named Miranda? pretty pls) from “before” in Alexandria (not a community member, a traveler who convinced the guard to let her in). She was like, his cute little teenage neighbor who had a huge thing for him that he ignored bc she was only 16. But now she’s legal and less shy and just a smidge flirtatious. Like she says things that are borderline innuendos and pick up lines. And keeps joking about daddy issues. - Anon
Pairings: Negan x Miranda (OC)
Warnings: language. smut. (oops I did it again)
Running a hand through your long and curly hair, you let out a loud and guttural sigh. Tracing the outline of your current drawing over again, you glanced up from your sketch pad. Your street was calm as you swayed back and forth in your hammock chair on your front porch. The late afternoon air was crisp, and you smiled as you heard a few birds whistle beautiful tunes. Checking the time, you sighed and leaned back as to let the chair swallow you whole.
Your dad never came home this morning, and you had a pretty good idea why. He had been shacking up with some woman almost every night of the week, and would go out drinking without as much as a goodbye. Ever since your mother walked out on you, your dad had completely changed. With no siblings to care for or spend time with, you were left utterly alone for the majority of your time. You had grown accustomed to it, however.
I’m gonna be real honest with you here, it’s been a long time since I’ve worked on the fake bf fic and writing is hard and life is just overwhelming as hell these days, so if y’all wouldn’t mind giving me just a liiiiittle bit of validation that my writing hasn’t turned to complete crap?? that’d be super cool??? please & thank you, here is what I have of ch. 6, it’s not a lot but hopefully there’s gonna be more soon now that I have some kind of flow???? idk man I love you all thank you for being so ridiculously patient
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Link/Sidon, Link/Prince Sidon, sidlink, Pre-Relationship Characters: Link (Legend of Zelda), Sidon (Legend of Zelda), Link, Sidon Additional Tags: link is secretly a sarcastic little shit, he also takes too many pictures, he’s that real world equivalent of an instagram account that only posts pictures of their pet, and sidon, especially sidon, obligatory character A gets hurt and B reacts, this fic just just fluff, Like, theres nothing else substantial here Summary:
Link defeats that pesky Lynel that has been plaguing the Zora people. Though he doesn’t come out unscathed, far from it actually.
Luckily there’s a handsome Zora price to keep him company while he recovers.
So after painting my 30k Ahriman, I had several people asking how I painted his galaxy cloak. I finally got around to doing a tutorial on the general method with my 40k Ahriman (although I think I went a little overboard on the density of stars with this guy, oops). Anyway, here we go:
Black base! Although any kind of really dark colour would probably work.
Dapple on your first dark colour (in this case red), in the general area/pattern you want your galaxy effect in. For this one, I decided to try a spiral galaxy effect rather than a more random nebulae like I used on my 30k Ahriman. Make sure your paint’s fairly thin, and you can let it pool in certain areas to get some variation in coverage. It helps to have reference pictures!
Continue with whatever other dark colours you want to use - for this example, I went with pretty much the full spectrum just to demonstrate the different colours and transitions between them.
Once those are dry, start dappling thin layers of brighter colours a little more sparsely over the previous colours. You also don’t have to stay entirely on the previous layer, it’s okay to go over onto the black areas as well. In this particular photo, I’ve only done some red/orange and some green so far.
Continue dappling those brighter colours on! Here I’ve continued with teal, purple, more red, and blue. Make sure your paint’s thin enough that it’s still a little translucent - you can also push it around a bit to leave it thinner in some areas and more concentrated in others.
Keep building up thin layers of brighter colours over the previous layers. In this pic I’ve moved on to orange and yellow over the previous red areas.
I kind of skipped ahead a little here and continued on right up to white in just the central area of the spiral.
Once you’re up to the brightest colours, just start dotting it on in individual spots, rather than dapples like before. Here I’ve done the green, teal and blue. Make sure to rest your hand often if it start cramping up!
Here I’ve continued on with the violet, red, orange and yellow dots.
Finally, carefully dot on white paint for the brightest stars, including a few larger ones with added little shine lines. Try not to go too overboard with them though (like I did here, oops) - leave some areas with not as many stars.
If you’ve only used two or three colours (instead of a whole spectrum like I did here), you can also use a wash over the whole thing to help tie the different areas of colour together, then go over it with some more white dots again. I did this on my 30k Ahriman with a blue wash, since all the colours I used in that one had blue in them. You can also go back with the black to add in some more random patches with less stars to help break things up a little.
Anyway, that’s pretty much it! It does take a while (I think I spent about five hours overall on this, though it would’ve gone a lot faster if I wasn’t using so many different colours). I hope it helps, and please let me know if you have any questions!
(Headcanon #120) Variations of this probably happen often:
<b><p></b> <b>A random nation:</b> *walks up to america* Hi, Alfred! Here's a cool little thing for you! My treat! You've always been my best friend! *gives said thing*<p/><b>America:</b> Awww, you didn't have to, thanks--<p/><b>Random nation:</b> So can you get me Hamilton tickets??? :))<p/><b>America:</b> ....<p/><b>Random nation:</b> :D<p/></p><p/><b>America:</b> ....<p/><b>Random nation:</b> Did I mention that you're the best? :D<p/></p>
(Oops, I did a thing. sydsleroux gets all the blame for being a ridiculous enabler. Most of these went a little Lovecraftian on me, but hey).
The Oilers are rebuilding. It has been twenty years. The Oilers are rebuilding. It has been a century. Still, they rebuild. Top draft picks and coaches come, and they go. No one knows where they go. Everyone is too afraid to ask.
’It’s just one kidney,’ you think. The black-market surgeon smiles as he puts the mask on your face. ’This is why I have two.’ You count backwards from ten as the drugs put you to sleep. You wake up. The incision is right where it should be, stitched up neat and straight with black sutures. Now you can afford to watch a Rangers playoffs game at Madison Square Garden.
The look of determination on Sidney Crosby’s face is great, as he watches the puck fly towards the net. He has to keep his team in this series: failure is not an option. He concentrates – does not take his eyes off the puck, does not blink. The puck turns in mid-air, swishes past Lundqvist at an impossible angle. There was a reason CONSOL wanted all that blood.
There is blood on the ice in Chicago. Q unleashes an incomprehensible stream of the usual profanity mixed in with words from ancient, forgotten tongues, but Toews is too agitated to translate for the rest of the team, and it is too late. Someone touched Patrick Kane on the shoulder, and there is blood on the ice in Chicago, blood on the un-gloved fists of the defenseman, blood on their skates.
“The NHL is not white,” a fanboy says. “There’s PK Subban.” Technically, he is right. PK Subban is now on the roster of all thirty teams. He averages over 120 minutes of ice-time per night – 200, most Saturdays.
His teams all chalk it up to coincidence – draft picks that just don’t develop, rookies injured on the cusp of a promising season, young, strong limbs that turn weak. He can’t stay in one city very long anymore; it takes so many of them to fuel him now – more every year. The sacrifice of all those boys won’t go in vain: Jaromir Jagr will play forever.
The ice whispers, “He is is coming.” It pulses with the rhythmic sound of just one name,“McDavid.” In Toronto, a room full of picked-over carcasses and decaying jerseys, their maple leaf insignias still visible, waits for a savior. In Arizona, bleached bones lie in the sun. The Buffalo Sabres snarl and hurl their sticks onto the ice. The other team blinks in confusion, turning away from the bared teeth in the rotted ruins of their faces. “He will be OURS,” the Sabres howl as one, but in the shadows, the Oilers wait, have been waiting.
Doug Wilson calls Hasso Plattner. He is the only one who’s seen Hasso – some say, he’s the only one who can. “We finally have enough picks, sir, and it is almost time for the draft.” There are enough picks, and even Thornton won’t be able to protect them now. San Jose is calling for blood, and they’ll get it – but it won’t be Wilson’s. Soon, his master will come into the physical plane of existence. Soon, everyone will know about the plan.
“What changes have you made in the off-season, after missing the playoffs last year?” the reporter asks Daryl Sutter. Sutter does not respond. His expression does not change – that is to say, he remains expressionless. None of the Kings have spoken a word, or cracked their stone-faced masks in the months since the loss. Drew Doughty made the mistake of smiling once: he has not been seen since.
“It’s for the good of the team,” Jamie Benn says to the crowd of onlooking reporters, cringing, as he finishes sewing his arm to Tyler Seguin’s, and then starts in on their legs. His stitching is surprisingly neat. Tyler, used to needles in his skin, doesn’t so much as flinch. “We play better this way,” Benn adds. Dallas Stars management, pleased by the cap space freed up by paying Benn and Seguin as one player, could not be more pleased with the decision.
Zdeno Chara is no longer the largest player in the league. No one knows for sure how big the new guy is – his weight and height on the team website are listed as some kind of eldritch runes. He plays without a mask, but nobody can see his face. Buildings tremble when he steps inside them. The NHL has allowed him a longer-than-regulation stick.
In a quiet little town in Finland, an old woman sits with a little, straw doll. She gives its shoulder a twist. In Nashville, at practice, Pekka Rinne falls to the ice in pain. He never should have left her daughter.
McQuaid trembles before the council. The floor of the situation room, in Toronto, is hard under his knees. “You have broken our rules,” a voice booms. He cannot see who it belongs to. “There is only one deity acknowledged in the NHL.” Wayne Gretzky steps out from the darkness, and all the hooded figures bow.
I spent some time playing the trial of Mass Effect: Andromeda. I’m going to give some of my thoughts without getting too spoiler-y, though I know there are plenty of you fine folks out there that would still appreciate the tag so you can make your own judgments when the time comes. Right on, you spoiler-free champions, for your willpower is far greater than mine. :)
Also… this is one of the reasons I haven’t posted any new writing. Oops. I’m sorry!
The jet pack for jumping is super fun and looks way cool. 10/10 would jump all the things again.
They did, in fact, fix the wild Mako controls. I look much less like I’m having a stroke while driving. Fear not, though, dear nostalgia lovers, for you will still end up falling off the side of a mountain. Just like old times.
The face animations are a little odd on occasion, but I’ve seen the uproar that this has caused in the fandom and at BioWare staff in particular and I think people need to find a new hobby if this is the topic ruins your life. Seriously. Grow up.
So far I’ve rather liked the updated dialogue selections. My Ryder has been quite sarcastic. It hasn’t quite reached levels of “purple Hawke” of Dragon Age 2 fame, but she is very early in the story. There’s still plenty of time for her to get frustrated and bitter. Tee hee.
I’m digging the voice actors. Some of them enunciate a bit too much for my liking so it sounds a little less natural, but overall great choices. I really like Sis!Ryder and Cora in particular. Nice job, ladies.
The new vehicles are awesome. What I saw of the Tempest I really liked. The fact that it’s got windows that are actually showing what’s outside is pretty spectacular. Joker isn’t the only one who gets to see the cool stuff anymore!
I tried multiplayer also, and really appreciated that you can play male and female characters and can customize their armor so that you look a little different than the other 3 human female soldiers in your group if you’d like. The good thing about starting it up now is that you can flail along with all the other people who also don’t know what they’re doing. It makes me feel like much less of a failure. Hehe. I could see myself sinking a lot of time there if left to my own devices. The jet pack makes all the difference in the world and things were kicking my butt across the galaxy.In a good way, I assure you. Fun stuff.
I was worried about the exploration/colonization concept and getting into fights with native peoples on their homeworlds. That really bothered me. I haven’t gotten very far into the game, but so far, that has not been an issue. Whew.
Overall, I feel like they really tried hard to bring in notable, enjoyable elements of the original trilogy and introduce new concepts, characters, and technologies to set it apart and remind you that its a whole new ballgame. That’s no easy task. I may be speaking too early, but I think they did a pretty darn good job so far, and they don’t deserve the vile hate they’ve been getting for a game that hasn’t even been released yet.
Bottom line. Is it fun? Yes. Will it suck away my life? Probably.
I don’t miss you, but I miss your voice. I miss the way you’d say my name, like I was hearing it for the first time. I miss the way it was so stern when talking to everyone else but it seemed to melt when you were speaking to me. I miss the way you’d say “come here” and hold your arms open, like you were gesturing me to come home.
I don’t miss you, but I miss your eyes. The way the light would hit them so strategically, making brown seem like the most beautiful color I’d ever seen. I miss the way they’d stare at me from across the room like it was just us two in a crowd full of people. I miss getting lost in those eyes.
I don’t miss you, but I miss your hands. I miss the way your rough palms would feel against my soft skin as you ran them down my arm. I miss the way our hands seemed to find each other, fitting perfectly together, without us even realizing. I miss them in the back of my hair when you’d kiss me; I swear sometimes I can still feel them there.
I don’t miss you, but I miss the way we’d reconnect so easily, like no time had passed. Picking up on things we had left off on, talking for hours about nothing- which ended up being everything. I miss hearing your stories about the things you’d done, things you’d seen. I’d give anything for those stories again.
I don’t miss you, but I miss your smile. I miss the way your lips would curl, showing off those perfect teeth of yours. I miss the way I’d catch you looking at me. I’d ask “what?” and your response was always “nothing”, but that smile you gave afterwards told me everything I needed to know. I swear that smile could end wars.
I don’t miss you, but I miss the memories. I miss driving around with you, even when all I wanted was to be watching movies on your couch. I’d drive to the end of the world if it meant spending time with you. I miss talking to your mom, when all you wanted was for us to be left alone. I miss the eye rolls you gave when her and I agreed on things about you. I miss you telling me how beautiful I was, no matter what I looked like, and knowing you meant it. I miss walking into a party with a house full of people, and catching you staring at me from across the room, waiting for your chance to come over. I even miss the bad memories. I miss being worried sick about you making stupid decisions with your friends, and then getting into fights with you over it. I miss the way people would question why I cared about you so much, like you were an outlaw. I miss you texting me at 3 AM drunk off your ass, telling me you missed me, even though you were supposed to be with her. I miss the way you were never sure about anything. There was never solid ground with you. You were the raging seas, while I was just a sailor, holding on for dear life.
I don’t miss you, but I miss being in love with you. I miss my heart racing every time I’d see you, even if it was the 500th time. I miss those butterflies in my stomach when you’d kiss me, even if it was just on the cheek. I miss being sick to my stomach on the bathroom floor thinking she could never love you like I did, but cheering you on to your face, knowing your happiness meant more to me than anything. I miss when you said it. Those 3 little words. The one and only time you ever said it. I miss holding that in my heart, knowing it was the one thing I had from you that those others didn’t.
Warnings: Fluff, mentions of blood, sweetness, Dean being funny
Summary: Sam walks in on the reader and later says something on his mind
It had been a long day, a long hunt, and she was ready to
collapse into bed. She unlocked the motel room door, followed by Sam and Dean.
She was covered in mud and grime as well as blood (thankfully it wasn’t hers)
and all she wanted was to take a shower and go to bed.
RFA HEADCANONS: His favorite thing to do with you~
Headcanon: His favorite thing to do with you~
Jumin is a S U C K E R for cats. Everyone knows this. While he loves Elizabeth 3rd to death, he also loves to take you to an animal shelter every now an then. Of course, the first time you had went..he wasn’t very fond of the idea. He thought it would be disgusting..but, the excitement on your face had convinced him to go. After all, how could he say no to that face?
He ended up falling in love with every..and I mean EVERY cat there.
You had to practically drag him out of the shelter by the time you were done.
“(y/n). Just look at this one real fast! She’s beautiful..”
“Jumin, you’ve said that about every cat here, let’s go.”
Zen is extremely talented. He’s described to be the perfect man, after all. So, it’s no surprise that that boy can dance. Oh boy, can he dance.
Even if you aren’t good at it, he still loves to dance with you. If you’re struggling, he will pull you up on his feet, carefully moving the both of you around the room.
He just loves watching you tilt you head back as you laugh. There’s nothing like seeing your gorgeous smile as he dips you.
Of course, his lil dip will end up in the both of you practically making out~ but that’s a story for another day.
“Eek! Zen! Don’t drop me!!”
“Don’t worry, princess~ I’ve got you. You’re safest in my arms, anyways.”
Let’s be real here. You two are N E R D S.
You two love to play games together. He loves to see the concentration on your face when you get into a game. A lot of times, he will surprise you with a new game that he bought with his own money. And you bet your ass that you two will be battling to the death as you play it together.
“Ohhh, (Y/n). Looks like I’ll be beating you to- OH CRAP, NO! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!”
“Heh~ oh, my bad. Didn’t realize that was you~”
C O F F E E D A T E. Trust me, you can’t go wrong with a date. She loves to take you out on little coffee dates, followed by one of Zen’s musicals.
Just something about seeing you impatiently try to take a sip of your coffee, and then letting out that little “eek” of yours when you burn your tongue..was oddly cute to her.
“Careful, (Y/N). It’s hot, you kno-”
“EEK! OH DEAR GO- I mean. Uhm. Wow. That’s hot. Aha. Just like you~”
“What am I going to do with you, (Y/N).”
Usually ends with you two kissing. She loves to kiss you when you taste like coffee~
ALRIGHT, YOU TWO ARE NO DOUBT aNd I mEan nO dOubt..going to be pulling pranks on each other. 24/7, this lil red headed hacker is going to be pranking you when you least expect it. You even keep track of how many wins the each of you have. Sadly, You’re always a point or two behind him.
What can you say, he’s a master. But you know..Ohh, you know..you’ll be beating him one day. (Don’t take that wrong. OOPS I DID. I need to stop, lmao.)
And he LOVES his advantages. He loves how you lightly ball up your fists, as you playfully punch him when he gets you.
“HAHA, SORRY, (Y/N)!! I COULDNT HELP IT..! GAH! A B U S E! BOYFRIEND ABUSE, ALERT ALERT, I NEED LIFE ALERT!”
“I’LL GET YOU LUCIEL, AND YOUR LITTLE CHIPS TOO!” You usually say, grabbing his chips, and running to your bedroom, locking the door behind you.
“MY HONEY BUDDHA..! NO!!”
V loves to take photography. It’s one of his favorite things to do. His favorite thing to take pictures of..? Well. That would be you~
He loves to take you out to nice places, Even on your laziest days. Just to take pictures of you making cute little expressions..
It even motivated him go get his eye surgery. He knew he wanted to see you grow old with him. He had to.
Wearing sweats and one of his over sized shirts? Oh god, he still finds you to be the most beautiful woman.
Once, he’s even taken a picture of you brushing your teeth.
“What are you- V! I'MBRUSHINGMYTEETh! I HAVE LITERAL BED HEAD! STOPPP!”
“And somehow..you make even that breath taking~”
This boy. THISBOY. He is so awkward when it comes to relationships. But his favorite thing to do with you?
Literally anything. He just wants to know that you are there for him. He needs your support at all times.
But..if he had to pick a favorite..
Now, it doesn’t seem like him that he would be one for cuddles 24/7..however..
He feels secure when you’re in his arms. He loves to know that you’re with him, that you’re safe, and will not leave his side.
“Saeran, what are yo- oh. oH. Wow, you smell really good, aha.”
“I borrowed some of Saeyoung’s cologne. Just..relax. I want to hold you for a little while..”
HOPE YOU ENJOYED~ THIS WAS MY FIRST HEADCANON LIKE..EVER.
YOU CAN REQUEST ANOTHER ONE OF THESE, OR A ONE SHOT, OR ANYTHING. LITERALLY, I AM RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS. Pls request 😂😂🔫
39: “I wish we could stay like this forever.” -
First and foremost I just wanna say… the (considerably
shorter) Strifentine fic response to your other prompt suggestion is also coming, I just
figured this post was long enough already without it and I felt bad for making you wait forever for anything as is. So, super sorry for the delay… the more I wrote the more emotionally invested I
got in this thing, and the more important it became to me that I did it right. The prompt felt like it fit really easily into the
rosy lens of pre-canon, so of course I had to frame it with horrible angst not
helped by the fact that my most recent encounter with Terqua content was 2.8. Oops. Either way, hope you like, and here you go:
In the realm of darkness memory was a tangible feature of
the environment. The long years spent
submerged in that chaotic abyss had done little to teach Aqua anything about its
function, but she had learned that much at least. Sometimes she found she’d walked unknowing
into others’ memories - shards of old worlds long forgotten by those who lived
in light, pockets of existence where bell-towers tolled on endlessly and fires
burned on loop without ever going out.
Sometimes she got lost in them, turned around in city blocks that had
twisted into mazes after an eternity of floating in the corrosive ebb and flow
of the shadow.
In here, she had nothing else but time, so eventually she
always found her way back out.
But the most dangerous memories to be lost in, by far, were
her own. Most often, in the rare hours
she stole of sleep, she sunk deep into dreams so real she woke still feeling
the ghost of another’s touch on her skin, still tasting the almost-forgotten
flavor of her favorite foods on her tongue.
And sometimes the dreams crept into her waking hours.
First, the featureless darkness around her would shift and
mold, just on the edges of her vision where she wouldn’t notice right
away. As she wandered onward it
gradually took familiar shapes and forms and the dread in her heart would
grow. Then she’d see a movement, turn
around, keyblade crystallizing beneath her fingertips, ready to fight off
another of the endless horrors that stalked her every hour, and find instead
that she was in a place that couldn’t possibly exist - either not down here or
not at all anymore.
Sometimes, she couldn’t even tell the difference. Sometimes, when the landscape shifted and
shed its oppressive lack of color, taking on vivid hues now so bright to her
eyes that they all but blinded her, she couldn’t be sure if she’d just wandered
into another pocket, or if her weariness had overcome her will at last and
dragged her into slumber somewhere between footfalls.
Super old Kakashi scenario for my fam @batmanruth that she let me slack on (tysm) but it’s finally done yayyyyyyy. Don’t remember the exact request something like ‘Kakashi getting angry at his s/o after a mission because she jumped to help him when he told them to leave and scolding her’ and angst/fluff(?) proceeds:
The sun is slipping out of the sky by the time Kakashi is done with reports at the Hokage office. He’s fatigued, he’s starving, but he pushes all those annoyances aside because he needs to see her.
He admits he probably should have kept his temper in check, especially on a mission. It’s not like him to let incidents on duty provoke him to blow up like he did, but he couldn’t help it. How could she be so stupid? How could she ignore everything he had told her?
He’s usually better about these things. The surge of anger that stopped him right in the middle of the battlefield should have been easy to brush off, he should have been able to save the reprimanding for later, but he couldn’t.
As soon as she jumped in front of him he could barely think, and wouldn’t have processed what had even happened if not for his sharingan. That’s what’s even more frustrating, because he should have been the smart one, the careful one. He should have been able to see what was coming. And now because of that, she’s in the hospital. Not only that, but he probably tarnished her reputation in front of their entire squad while chastising her, telling her not to make such stupid, brash decisions, and to stay out of his way.
That’s what troubles him the most, that he lashed out at her. And for what? Sure, she shouldn’t have abandoned her own duty to intervene with his. She should have followed orders and retreated like he told her to, but the battle was rather chaotic anyway, and everyone was all over the place. She was only guilty of looking out for her comrades, looking out for him, and he knows he would have done the same if he had been in her position.
The nurses greet him when he arrives at the medical center, and he doesn’t even need to ask before they direct him to a room at the very end of the hall. He’s never liked the idea of the entire village being informed on his romantic life, though it does come in handy.
He stops outside the door and considers the situation. He hadn’t really thought about what he wanted to say before arriving, he just knew he wanted to be here. And he’s never good at these sort of things, most of his attempts at reconciliation are impromptu, and it’s usually sufficient, but something feels different this time.
Reticently, he sighs, understanding he can only delay this for so long until he caves in. It’s not like this is a bother anyway, he wants to do this. It’s been bothering him ever since they arrived back in the village, he just doesn’t know how to make it better.
He walks in a second later, hands thrust in his pockets, mustering the courage to look her right in the eyes. She’s sitting up in her bed, bandages around her arms, a smaller one over her forehead.
The medic ninjas did quite a good job, she’s nowhere near as bad as she looked when they came back from the mission. He’d heard there were no internal injuries, but that didn’t really matter to him. The fact she was injured at all was enough to overwhelm his frustration with her. He really feels stupid.
“What is it,” she practically spits at him.
Wow, he thinks. Excellent start.
“Well,” he says as he ventures further into the room, “I thought I would come see you.”
“Why? To yell at me again?” she mutters.
As he approaches her side, she looks away from him and out the window. “No, not that.”
She sighs inwardly but doesn’t respond, still refusing to look at him. “I don’t want to talk to you right now, Kakashi.”
“Well, that complicates thing.” He ignores the scowl on her face as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “Because I want to talk to you.”
She huffs and again averts her gaze. It’s not that she doesn’t want to hear what he has to say, because although he’s not the easiest to forgive—a consequence of his awful attempts at making amends— she knows he’s come to apologize. To the best of his ability, of course.
He really wishes she’d give him something to go off of. There’s a multitude of things she could, and should be upset about, he just doesn’t know what to say first. “You know I only reprimanded you because it was dangerous.”
“I wasn’t going to leave you there, Kakashi.”
“I was your acting captain, and I gave you an order to follow.” He doesn’t like how she’s using his name like that. It’s very telling of her agitation; she only uses it during critical times like this. “I know why you did it, but you shouldn’t have—“
“What’s that thing you told me once, Kakashi? About not abandoning your comrades?”
Well he should have known she’d pull that card on him. And it was true, but it was different when it came to her. She was more than just a comrade, so while he can understand the principle behind his own words, there’s more on the line when it comes to her. “You could have been hurt, _____. More than you were.”
“And you could have too, you could have died.” Well, maybe not. But that’s how she’d seen it. She’d panicked and given it no sensible thought before jumping in to help him. She was just scared.
“And you don’t think you could have either?” His voice takes on a bitter edge. “I knew how dangerous it was, which is the exact reason I ordered you to retreat.”
“I don’t understand why you would berate me like you did! Maybe I didn’t expect a thank you, but I definitely didn’t expect you to blow up on me, and just completely demean me like that.” Her voice is harsh, well above the tolerance she’d retained, or tried to retain, up until now.
He sighs. “I’m sorry for that. I am. You can understand why I was angry, though.”
“You would have done the same for me, wouldn’t you?”
Again, he expected that. And there’s no way he can dispute it. “Yeah, I would have.”
“So don’t pretend like what I did was such a bad thing, Kakashi.”
“It was a bad thing,” he snaps. “It was naïve.”
“Oh, so now I’m naïve? I see.”
“No,” he sighs in frustration. “Your decision. It could have cost you your life, maybe others in the process—“
“But it didn’t!”
“_____,” he speaks her name in earnest, partly to relay the severity of this, partly to discreetly shush her because she’s practically scolding him now. He doesn’t really like the idea of the entire hospital knowing his business, plus the gravity of this dispute is bothering him. He doesn’t want to fight. He doesn’t like fighting with her. Though a consequence of his own wrongdoings, he’s still going to try to fix this as efficiently and genially as possible. “I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t have acted out if I didn’t have to.”
“And you didn’t have to.”
“No, I did. Because it’s my job as your superior to protect you, to make sure you’re safe. And…” He does feel quite silly saying it, but the disquiet in her eyes is forcing him to cast aside any emotional detachment that keeps him from passion, especially at times like this. “I already can’t forgive myself for almost putting you in danger—more than I already did, I guess. Or more than you did, really.” Her little glare isn’t subsiding. Oops. “All in all, you have to know I did it because I was afraid. Watching you run in there, it scared me.” Just say it, he scolds himself. “You know I didn’t want to lose you out there.”
What a relief, at least he had the conviction to say that much. He could say a dozen other things, more warmhearted, more convincing. He wants to show her how much he cares but of course, the doubt from his own emotions holds him back. He’s just not good at this sort of thing.
That definitely trumps the line of discourse she had prepared for this inevitable squabble. But he makes it so difficult when his feeble and haphazard attempts at making reparations somehow pull her heart strings, and make the tension surrounding this ordeal suddenly seem ridiculous.
“I know. It’s just…” And then more than when he’d chastised her, more than when he’d admonished her in front of the entire squad, there’s an outrage she can’t shake off. “I don’t know why you would even tell us—me to retreat. You know I couldn’t leave you, Kakashi. You know that’s not something I would have been able to do, or live with if something had happened to you.”
And thanks to her, nothing did. He’s sure a few impediments could have been avoided if she hadn’t jumped in so brashly, but she’d provided a distraction—not a very calculated one—which served as their means to escape. So while the grievance is still there, because she had no right to put her life on the line for him, it’s the reason they’re both here.
She rubs her thumb over a dark bruise on her arm. Kakashi’s resolve is unsettled with guilt once again when he realizes that he came out of the battle unscathed. The self-reproach seeps its way into his conscience again and it drives his sentimentality.
“And those are my thoughts exactly, ____. I wasn’t going to risk you getting hurt, you and the rest of the squad. I understand why you did it. So try to understand why I gave you the order in the first place, and why I blew up when you didn’t follow it.”
“Just don’t make me do that again… Don’t scare me like that again.”
Part of him is relieved at the calm in her voice, the lack of tension that had been so prevalent when he walked in. The other part aches because she sounds so grim. He hadn’t meant to impair her peace of mind, though he’s by no means in a pleasant place either now. But he’s willing to overlook her indiscretions as a subordinate in favor of appreciating her sentiment as his lover.
“As long as you don’t scare me like that again,” he says. “I’ll try.”
He’s concerned that it’s not good enough for her, but she smiles. “Why do you always put the blame back on me?”
Even the lighthearted tone is reassuring. “I won’t say it’s because it’s usually your fault… but…” He doesn’t need to finish before she’s frowning, and they’ve regained the ease he so hoped to find by the end of the conversation. However, he knows better than to assume amends have been secured so fast.
“I still don’t know if that’s enough to compensate for how you embarrassed me,” she says. “Can you imagine those guys talking about how mean you are? How unprofessional that was? How dumb I am?”
Truthfully, he has pondered it. It’s not just her, but to lose his composure like he did and reprimand her, not just as a shinobi, but as a significant other—it was probably much more dramatic than he remembers it to be. He’s sure he’ll overhear gossip about it at some point.
“Hmmm while they may be right about that last part, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.” He smirks when she makes to punch his shoulder, but she remembers she’s supposed to be bed-ridden and injured. He’s quite enjoying this.
“But I am worried about it, and I want you to make it up to me.”
“Make it up to you huh?”
She nods, and he eyes her curiously. It would be easy enough to just resort to more wisecracks to get out of this, but he knows she’s not kidding. He knows he’ll have to atone in some way beyond the sincerity of what he’s said here.
“Like what?” he asks, preparing for something ludicrous and out of his zone of comfort, because what else should he expect?
She says nothing, but the way she pats her lips and makes those little kissy noises is more than enough for him, and he’s shaking his head before she can even blink.
“I don’t think so,” he says as he stands from the bed, inadvertently reaching for his mask and assuring that it’s secure. It’s a bad habit she’s pushed onto him. If they were at home and by themselves, she’d try to reach and tug it down. Now he’s constantly paranoid. Again, everything is always her fault.
“What do you mean?” she gripes. “You owe me that much.”
“Too many people around. Too risky.”
“A shinobi must always remain vigilant.”
She’s frowning again, more like pouting, but with the bandage on her face she doesn’t look very cute, maybe a little threatening, in fact. He’s looking forward to when she gets it off so he can tease her without feeling the sting of guilt every time he sees the wounds. But it’s a slow process, he’s learned. Better not to rush it in hopes that it’ll help ease the tension.
“Where are you going?” she asks as he steps away.
“You shouldn’t be here for too much longer, I don’t think. I think I’ll go finish up some reports in the meantime.” Now the frown is sincere, and he can tell she’s dismayed with how quick he is to retreat from this little skirmish. “What? I still have to make it up to you, right? I’ll need to get my responsibilities out of the way so I’m free for the rest of the night.”
Damn, he’s good at this, even when he’s not trying. She tries to read the connotation in that statement, always so ambiguous, but the wit and promise in his voice is all the same.
“Fine.” She settles back comfortably into her bed. “Just make it quick.”
And as he leaves the hospital he’s relieved that it was much easier than he expected, though no less distressed by the fact it happened at all. He knows he’ll have to watch himself next time, even if it’s a difficult resolve to make. When it comes to her, he’s not sure he can keep his own promises. He’d be willing to endure another lecture like that if it meant keeping her safe, anyway.