robert sugden is struggling, and not a single person has noticed.
or, aaron gets out of prison and wants to know why none of his family was looking out for his husband.
Robert Sugden was good at putting on a brave face. It was one of his greatest talents, really, being able to hide his true feelings underneath a layer of snark and disinterest, and he’d spent ten years using it to his advantage, away from Emmerdale, away from his family.
People only saw what he wanted them to see. That was how he’d always gotten by, people had never really seen the real him, the true feelings he hid under a soulless smile and an expensive haircut.
Aaron saw through him. Aaron had always seen right through his bullshit, been able to read his moods and thoughts and feelings in a way that had scared Robert, once, but made him feel safe, and loved, and appreciated now.
But Aaron wasn’t there.
Aaron was banged up, and he’d be there for the next year of their lives (not if Robert had any say in the matter, but judging by the sympathetic looks from Aaron’s solicitor at their last meeting, he didn’t have a say) and Robert was the one who’d been left to run things, keep everyone going.
It was fine.
Of course it was fine, it’s not like he was the one in prison or anything. Robert just had a few more people than he was used to relying on him, Liv needing a brother right now, the Dingles always needing him for something or other, because he was one of them now, and Aaron wasn’t there to help.
But it was fine.
It had to be fine, because Robert didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. He had to keep their lives going, the scrapyard ticking over, keep the work on the Mill going so that Aaron had a life to come back to.
Robert wasn’t going to have his husband come back to a wreckage of a life, a life Robert couldn’t keep afloat on his own.
No, that would make him weak.
Robert Sugden was not a weak man, not when his husband needed him to be the strong one.
So Robert dug out his brave face again, and he got on with it.
sorry it sucks im super tired :// but i hope you like it !! it gets kinda angsty oops
“kamukura-kun, i know you’re not stupid,” komaeda’s words came out incredibly softly and quietly, so much so that it nearly sounded as if he were afraid to speak, “so you have to be smart enough to know that this has crossed the boundaries of friendship.”
the topic had never crossed either of them, despite their many previous sexual encounters. they had always ended up in the hushed echo of silence, with only the ambience of ringing ears heard. lighting the room was only the subtle yellow of early sunrise that spilled through the blinds, as kamukura and komaeda lay side-by-side in a bed only meant for one person.
for a moment, kamukura pondered if komaeda was right, for a split second the thought crossed over his mind that perhaps their activities had crossed the line of a casual friendship many times. of course, they had never been ‘friends’, per say, just people who were able to get along and therefore spent time with each other on occassion. not out of character for him, kamukura didn’t answer, just simply turned his head to look at komaeda and raised an eyebrow.
komaeda huffed, appearing the slighest bit annoyed, “friends don’t get each other off, kamukura-kun,” and he said it so bluntly and with such directness in his voice that kamukura had to wonder if komaeda was throwing caution to the wind or if he had gained a bit more confidence without the other knowing.
it was amazing that komaeda managed to get along with kamukura. of course, they were both of the rather disagreeable sorts, and weren’t exactly popular among their classmates. both of them were described as unnerving to be around, and were never social people in the first place. however, while komaeda acted upon self-loathing by calling himself trash and discouraging people from interacting with him, kamukura simply ignored any who tried to speak to him and would lash out if they were too persistant and became an annoyance.
a drawn out two minutes of silence fell over the room, the only noise being the shifting of the sheets as komaeda moved around uncomfortably, before kamukura spoke.
“then, i suppose we are not friends,” komaeda slumped beside him, barely, but he noticed, “i have never been the type to have friendships anyways.”
that stung more than it should have. komaeda’s chest hollowed out for a moment and his stomach dropped. he should have kept his mouth shut about it, he shouldn’t have even brought up the topic of their relationship at all. komaeda wasn’t sure why he brought it up, even, he wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted the relationship to further into something more or if it was because he was merely curious of kamukura’s opinions.
“…you’re right,” komaeda laughed, brokenly, “i can’t believe i forgot myself like that. such worthless, disgusting garbage as myself doesn’t deserve friendship, let alone physical contact!”
kamukura could pick up on the subtle cracks in komaeda’s voice when he spoke, how his pitch rose, how he sounded so utterly dismayed and yet positive while speaking lowly about himself. it was easy for kamukura’s hyper-observant mind to understand komaeda; and yet he couldn’t understand him at the same time. despite his understanding of the situation, it didn’t stop him from further inquiry.
“despite the limitless implications my statement could have,” he started, “you still chose to assume the most negative outcome would follow. pray tell, why is that?”
it sounded less of a question and more as if kamukura already knew the answer, and just wanted to hear komaeda say it. komaeda only stared at him and blinked, as if confused by the question, the kind of face one would be met with if they had asked a question five times. despite this, he sucked in a breath, preparing an explanation.
“ah, you see, it’s my luck cycle,” kamukura listened as if he hadn’t heard this story a thousand times over, “you accepting my friendship was lucky enough. but, you allowing me to have a sexual relationship with you…was even luckier, it gave me access to a different kind of touch. so it’d only be natural if this kind of misfortune followed.”
kamukura nodded silently, “i see.”
the white haired boy beside him huffed and flopped onto his back, his head meeting with the pillow in such a fashion causing a soft poof. the sheets rustled once more, and it was still more audible than them talking. komaeda being upset with the idea of losing a friend, and a sexual partner, was understandable. more understandable than it should be, and kamukura couldn’t help but allow his mind to remain on the topic.
his feelings towards komaeda were confusing. not only had he never really had a good grip on emotions in the first place, deeming them unnecessary and nothing but a bother, but he had also never had anyone to feel any sort of appreciation or desire or love for. kamukura had never had any friends; he was never the type to enjoy the company of others, and most people didn’t approach him. he had usually shown nothing but contempt for others, and because of his antisocial tendancies, he was never one to get along with people. kamukura was a disagreeble person, and nobody naturally got along with disagreeable people.
but, one thing was true and clear to him; he did feel something for komaeda. he just didn’t know what it was.
being around komaeda was pleasant; he didn’t speak of illogical things, was never an annoyance, and was certainly able to leave him alone when it was necessary. however, in hindsight, he could understand why most of the other students didn’t like komaeda. and he didn’t bother to ponder on that, because it was none of his concern.
“…if we’re not friends, then what are we? fuck buddies?” komaeda’s voice broke through the silence, soft and broken as it were earlier, and he sat up. kamukura watched him, with curious eyes, as he continued, “it wouldn’t surprise me if you just wanted to cut the relationship entirely. i’d be okay with that. it’d be completely my fault.”
more silence, until kamukura sat up alongside komaeda, and leaned over and kissed him. it wasn’t harsh, and it wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t exactly 'kamukura’ either. that in itself surprised komaeda.
kamukura pulled away and lied back down, turning around on the other side and pulling the sheet up to his shoulder. komaeda remained silent.
not another word was spoken, as the kiss in itself spoke volumes of every word that needed to be said in the moment.
THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BROUGHT HIM BACK FOR TWO EPISODES JUST SO THEY COULD PROGRESS THE STORY. BIIIITCH I WILL THROW HANDS.
Okay, sorry. I am okay. (No I’m not)
I really enjoyed the last two episode, I watched them last night because I was behind. My Bonkai heart was soaring when Bonnie was on the phone with Damon and Kai was in the back drawing a heart on the window. (coincidence? I think NOT) I know i’m delusional I just really wanted them to happen LMAO. ANYWAYS.
“Did it sound like she missed me?”
Babe she secretly did, don’t worry.
It truly is a problem that I love him so much, like I genuinely think he is my favorite TV character. Even when he was dragging the axe around the house looking for Lizzie and Josie I was like “ I LOVE YOU MY CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER” oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sue me
He better be back for the last episodes or i’m gonna cry myself to sleep knowing he is trapped in another prison world :*) (at least its Bonnie’s prison world *wink wink nudge*) They should just make a show about Kai.
Yes. That is a great idea actually. BITCH CW SHOULD HIT ME UP FOR WRITING.
I really enjoyed the Bamon in the episode, that shit warms my heart too, if Delena doesn’t happen, and Bonkai doesn’t happen, then I need some Bamon. I kinda ship Kai and Katherine. Why? Bitch idk but imagine Kai in hell just chilling and having sex with Katherine or some shit. (Too much? Too little.)
I almost thought at the end of the last episode that KAI was gonna be the ruler of hell but sadly it was Katherine “The baddest bitch of them all.” *heart eyes*
When Stefan dropped to the ground and proposed and started saying all the cute shit to Caroline I started crying. (:
At one point of the episode I actually thought Kai was gonna turn good for .5 seconds but then was like “lol this is Kai tf you know he cant”. When Bonnie came to him in the prison world at the end I rolled because UHGHGHGHGHGHGH “are you here to punish me”
KAI BETTER COME BACK OR I WILL RIOT!!!1
XX I could talk forever about Bonkai and Kai but I am so tired BYE.