oop this one too

Fran and Jock

by reddit user Pippinacious/ tumblr user muricanmagpie

I was the last in a long line of grandkids on both sides of the family. No one has ever said as much, but I’m pretty sure I was an “oops” baby; the result of one too many glasses of wine and a couple over forty who thought unplanned pregnancies were for teens.

Oops.

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anonymous asked:

We know Lance is super smart, but... Headcanon that sometimes in everyday situations (or what counts for everyday situations when you're fighting a space war) he just loses all common sense and says and does dumb things. It happens so much and it's so funny that the team starts calling these times Lance Moments. Even when someone else does a dumb thing, it is called having a Lance Moment.

dude sorry this was one of those asks i’ve been sitting on bc i just. love to think of not only lance moments. but a whole array of paladin moments.

  • lance moment: when you get too overconfident and embarrass yourself
    • origin: “wow that’s like 1000 plus 10″, and other greatest hits
    • example:
      shiro: hey guys be careful there’s a bunch of debris up ahead
      keith: whatever i can handle it [promptly crashes into space garbage]
      pidge: LMAOOO KEITH LANCED UP
  • keith moment: when you forget all social etiquette
    • origin: just when the other kids had finally acclimated him to Teenage Interactions, he tried to fistbump a diplomat and it was interpreted as an attack
    • example:
      alien host: and here is our most sacred animal
      pidge: eww
      lance: [slapping a hand over her mouth] what keith here meant to say was,
    • pidge almost has more keith moments than keith. but keith’s are always more disastrous so he holds the title.
  • pidge moment: when you completely forget that there’s something else you’re supposed to be doing
    • origin: pidge was supposed to be developing a virus or something so everyone left her alone but after a full day somebody checked on her and it turns out she got distracted and had actually been programming a game on her computer
    • example:
      coran: oh, hunk! did you finish recalibrating the teludav?
      hunk: [surrounded by books on taujeerian biology] did i what
      pidge: AHA!! IT WASN’T ME THIS TIME!!
  • hunk moment: when you get overemotional at inopportune times
    • origin: everyone pulled off an incredible maneuver in the middle of a battle and hunk started tearing up and talking about how much he loves everyone and “hunk, i love you too buddy, but maybe save this for later”
    • example:
      shiro: …and you’re such a smart and talented young lady and i’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished–
      pidge: ok ok i know hunk thank you but i really need to be hacking into this server right now
  • shiro moment: when you accidentally let something really morbid slip out
    • origin: after two sleepless nights, allura asked shiro if there was anything he needed and he replied in a monotone “the sweet embrace of death”
    • example:
      coran: it’s a fascinating creature honestly! once it has completed growing, it only has ten quintants before its body begins destroying itself.
      lance: goals
      keith: …are you ok? that was a very shiro thing to say.

bonus:

  • allura moment: when you surprise everyone with a previously unknown kickass ability
    • origin: the shapeshifting thing, and probably many others
    • example:
      pidge: [grabs a stick and knocks a bomb far into the distance]
      lance: what the heck
      pidge: what? matt and i used to play baseball all the time, i’m pretty good at it
      lance: god you’re such an allura
  • coran moment: when you pull a paladin moment, but play it off flawlessly
    • origin: anything he ever says. he’s making up half the nonsense that comes out of his mouth. nobody notices or calls him out on it.
    • example: there are none. coran is the only being known to pull off a coran moment.
2

oh I´m in pieces, it´s tearing me up.

Strictly Professional

Summary: You recognized the problematic customers the second you saw them. Lin, however, took the cake with being the most memorable client you’ve ever had. (TattooArtist!Reader)

Paring: Lin x reader

Words: 4,428

A/N:Thank you to @strongenoughfoundation for being awesome and giving me tips for certain parts of the story (you’re the queen of dialogue)! Also, thank you to @how-could-i-do-this for proofreading (I’m glad i’m getting better at not switching tenses lol). I wrote this in celebration of my first tattoo lol! Thanks for reading!

Edit: @whenthingsgettoughdontpushmeaway - I remember you asking to be tagged when I posted. @buckybarneshairpullingkink - You already read it, but I didn’t forget (well, I did, but ya know lol)


“Is that him?” you mumbled to your coworker Liz as you emerged from your room to the front desk, watching the man that paced back and forth in front of the parlor.

You could always spot the first-timers the instant you looked at them. You could sense the excitement and nervousness rolling off them in waves, their bodies tense from the anticipation of the ink that would soon permanently mark their skin.

But him?

It was more like a tsunami of emotions, crashing and tumbling over his body as he questioned his decision to get a tattoo. You felt it before you even stepped foot into the same room as him.

“It’s so unfair that you always get the cute ones,” Liz whispered as she handed you his paperwork. She had an appointment in ten minutes, and with the piece being a fairly large and intricate one, she passed him off to you.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring her comment and scanned his papers, noting his name and birthdate. “Lin?” you called.

He spun on his heel at his name, his swift steps having him in front of the desk within seconds. “Hi, yes, that’s me,” he answered quickly.

You inwardly sighed, knowing exactly what kind of patron he was going to be: the spazz that spoke too much, asked too many questions, and would hold his breath until he turned blue. “My name is Y/N and I’ll be with you today. What kind of tattoo would you like Lin?” you asked, watching as he nervously drummed his fingers against the counter.

His eyes widened, looking at you disbelievingly. “You’re the one giving me the tattoo?”

The neck cramp that you got when you handled frustrating customers reared its ugly head. “Yes. This is a fairly small tattoo shop and you just happened to come in last minute, without an appointment…” you said slowly, narrowing your eyes and challenging him to say anything further.

“I didn’t expect someone that looked like you to give me a tattoo. I’ve always pictured a big, burly man and not a beautiful woman that…” Lin trailed off, sighing when he realized what an ass he must have sounded, “I’m just going to shut up now. Sorry.”

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10

You go by Patrick Spring now but your real name is Zachariah Webb, and you made a terrible mistake.

Zachariah Webb/Edgar Spring/Patrick Spring through the decades as requested by @quingigillion

keith has a journal “not a fucking diary, shiro” and sometimes he’ll rant about lance in it and when he does that, he subconsciously draws little homestuck looking doodles of himself making googly eyes at another little homestuck looking lance