So do you just not like Harry? You're a Larrie but never blog Harry. I may or may not stalk your tags. just admit you're a Louie instead.
Well hello there anon! Lissen, it’s been a week now and I didn’t know how I was going to answer this but here i am two ciderscider+whiskeys whiskeys in and I’m going to tell you a story you never asked for. The story of how I first became acquainted with One Direction. Here we go:
I will freely admit that before last year I had no clues who the halibuts One Direction even was. All I basically knew was that they were that boyband who sang a song about Little Things that my 16-year-old cousin made me watch six times once. And yes, though I do love me a boyband (BBMAK RIP), I was an un-woke fool and so I made my best “that’s amaahzing sweaty” face anytime she or anyone brought them up. end of backstory.
cut to: December 2015 I went out for drinks with a bunch of co-workers and made a friend with a nice English woman who someone had brought along. She kept starring at me and looking away and putting her hand over her mouth and pushing me like “GET OUT OF HERE GYSPY” and about half way through telling her about my passion to seriously get dinosaurs trending in the fashion world I just stopped talking because her face kept doing this:
and I looked down to see if i’d dropped food on myself but I hadn’t and she was like “I’m so sorry…it’s just that you remind me so much of someone and it’s kind of freaking me out.” to which i said “OOoOooOOoo! WHO IS SHE?” nice English woman: “Erm it’s a boy” me: “It’s always a boy” nice English woman: “It’s Harry Styles” me: friend of nice English woman: “SHE WOULD KNOW” me: nice English woman: “He’s so quirky” me: “I’m pretty sure that’s naht a compliment”
anyway, she told me I needed to go home and youtube him and the band and just left me with a “you’ll see”. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW ANON? THIS:
and I swiveled violently towards the camera and shouted:
“I’M 100% CONVINCED THIS IS NOT A COMPLIMENT”
long story short, I made the mistake of watching more videos (x-factor diaries FUUHHH I KNOW BIRTH OF A LARRIE) and realised the reason I was so offended was because I eventually saw it… i saw why the nice English woman said this about me and why people have continued to say this about me and my fashion sense:
Someone actually printed this out and hung it up on a wall at work once (sans heads - I added those heads to protect both our identities) cos I wore this outfit the same day this hoe did and they thought it was funny to call me out (I totally wore it first).
So, do I see Harry Styles as my personal arch nemesis? yes, yes i do. Will I continue to be embarrassed by him because he is a reflection of all my weirdness? yes, yes I will. Will I ever stop yelling at him in my tags? probs naht. Do I avoid fonding over him because it makes me feel like I’m fonding over myself? Absolutely.
In summary, I basically have to love him because I really love myself but I’m also really humble so there’s that. If this all makes me a Louie then it is what it is.
alright I’m done. Can we still be friends? good night and ALL THE HALIBUTS!