ooooh so close to naming everyone

PROMPT: Person A is harassed by a random stranger in a club and people B is watching. After a while Person B steps in and pretends to be Person A’s partner even though they never have seen each other before. Person A just goes with it, but the random stranger is so persistent and doesn’t believe they are a couple that Person A grabs Person B’s neck and kisses them. Somehow both of them don’t back out of the kiss, because, fuck can we never stop pretending? (Link to prompt: here)


- Clubs aren’t really Remus’ thing, but he promised he’d go with Alice, Lily, Dorcas and Marls for a night out.

- He didn’t really mind, but he would rather be back at his and Lily’s flat in a comfy sweater, binder off, reading a good book and curled up in the arm chair with a cup of tea.

- Instead, here he was at Club Cruzo wearing too tight black skinny jeans with some shiny purple shirt Lily thinks looks hot on him with his binder that has seen better days, drinking what ever cocktail Marls ordered for him that tasted like cotton candy.

- The girls decided they wanted to dance, but Remus needed at least three more of these cocktails in him before he would even attempt to join them.

- So he waits at the bar whilst the girls go to dance.

- Everything’s going fine until he feels some guy nudge up against his side.

- Turning, he sees this plastic-like man wearing tan khakis with a pale blue Ralph Lauren Polo shirt with blonde hair and too white teeth creepily smiling to him.

- ‘Great. Rich white kid.’ he thinks.

- Remus takes a step away, but the guy follows him until Remus is literally in the corner of the bar, trapped next to the wall.

- “Hi there! I’m Gilderoy. But I’m sure you’ve heard of me.” He preened. 

- Remus physically winced. 

- “No, sorry.” He downed the rest of his drink, looking out towards the dance floor to see if any of the girls have noticed his discomfort.

- Unfortunately, none of them had.

- “Well, I’m actually pretty famous. I’m an actor, I’ve been on Casually, The Bill, Coronation Street …” 

- “Not seen any of them.” Remus tried to be as short as he could with this guy but he clearly was not taking the hint.

- “Well, that’s okay. I have all of them on tape. You can watch them later tonight after we’ve finished devouring each other.” he winked whilst leaning in to nuzzle at Remus’ neck.

- Remus blanched and attempted to move away but was trapped by the bar and the wall.

- “I’m not interested.” he tried to push Gilderoy away. 

- “Oh, come on, of course you are.” he reached to grab at his waist to trap him further against the wall, but Remus pushed his hand away. 

- “Look at you. You’re not going to get anyone better than me. You should be thankful I want you in the first pla-”

- “THERE YOU ARE BABE!” Someone shouted, pulling Gilderoy away from Remus harshly and stood next to Remus with a large smile, taking a hold of one of his hands.

- Remus took one look at this new person and w o w.

- They were wearing a leather black skirt with fish net tights and large biker boots, a Bowie shirt and a leather jacket. 

- Their hair was waved and tussled just right. 

- Their eyes were a mix of silver-grey and ocean blue and was shaped perfectly with winged eyeliner.

- And they were talking to Remus.

- “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, darling!” they smiled and stared intensely at Remus. 

- Remus was confused, why where they calling him babe and darling?

- Then they winked at him and leaned in close to kiss him on the cheek.

- “My name’s Sirius. Play along.” They whispered in his ear.

- Oh.

- OOOOH.

- Remus smiled widely. Thank god someone’s going to save him from this creep.

- “I was waiting for you at the bar, Sirius, but I couldn’t find you. Then this guy wouldn’t leave me alone.” 

- “Oh really?” Sirius rounded on Gilderoy who stood there smirking at the exchange.

- “And why would you not leave my boyfriend alone? It’s obvious to everyone in this club he isn’t interested in you.”

- Gilderoy scoffed.

- “Oh please. You two are not a couple. That’s so pathetic. What’s his name then, huh?”

- “It’s … it’s …” Sirius quickly looked up at Remus and noticed a small tattoo behind his ear.

- “Moony! It’s Moony.” 

- “Moony? Yeah. I’m sure. Do you mind pissing off whilst me and ‘Moony’ continue to speak? It’s obvious you two aren’t together. No-one like you would be interested in someone like him.”

- “And what is that meant to mean?” Sirius’ eyes turned dark as he stepped closer to Gilderoy.

- “Well, look at you. A guy dressed as a girl-”

- “Hey!” Remus shouted. “Don’t you dare insult them like that.”

- “-going for this scarred-face nerd? I don’t think so.” He finished completely ignoring Remus.

- Remus swears he heard Sirius growling.

- “You better walk away before my fist makes contact with your face. Leave. My boyfriend. Alone.”

- “If you’re a couple then prove it! Otherwise, piss off cause me and ‘Moony’ were planning on going back to mine before you rudely interrupted.”

- “No. We really weren’t, you prick. And we don’t need to prove anything to you, so leave.” 

- “It’s okay, Moony. If that’s what it takes to make this heathen leave you alone then we can prove it.”

- “Wha-”

- But Sirius had already turned on the spot and placed both hands around Remus’ neck and leant it close.

- “Can I kiss you, please?” They asked sweetie.

- Their face was so sincere that Remus almost forgot about why they were doing this.

- He nodded softly, eyes never leaving Sirius’.

- The gap closed between them.

- It started sweet and soft.

- Then Sirius ran their tongue against the bottom of Remus’ lip and he was g o n e.

- His arms wound around Sirius’ waist and pulled them up slightly so they were on their tip toes.

- Their tongues were sliding against one another.

- Sirius pushed Remus up further against the wall as their kiss became more heated.

- They could have stayed there all night, forgetting they were even in a club, let alone they were only kissing to get rid of some creep.

- That was until a loud cough brought them back to reality and they separated.

- Looking over Sirius’ shoulder, he saw Lily, Alice, Dorcas and Marls all staring and giggling at them. 

- Gilderoy was long gone. 

- “Well, it looks as if you had a fun night, Remus.” Lily smirked. 

- Remus rolled his eyes at them.

- They giggled and walked away to the bar to order another round of drinks.

- Remus reluctantly let go on Sirius and rubbed the back on his neck.

- “I .. erm … th-thanks. For helping me out.” He stammered.

- Sirius beamed at him.

- “Thank you for letting me, Moony. Or should I say Remus.” 

- Remus let out a breathy laugh and smiled at Sirius.

- God, he could kiss them again. 

- “Can I buy you a drink? As a thank you? I…I mean, you don’t … you don’t have to if you’ve got someone to go back to …” 

- Sirius put their hand on his shoulder, and traced it down the length of his arm and took a hold of his hand. 

- “I would love that, Moony.”