Context I was running a comedic one shot for my younger sister and her boyfriend who had never played before. My sister is a halfing druid with spells thornwhip and goodberry. Her boyfriend played as a human rogue that was described as “ye’ olde Michelle Obama”.
Me (DM): Ok so there’s a goat blocking your path. It appears to be the guardian of this town.
Rogue: Oh fair and nobel guardian, please grant us passage through this land. We wish only to help!
Me: Oook well it’s just a regular goat that can’t talk but roll persuasion.
Rogue: *Rolls a 5*
Me: Yeah it doesn’t move.
Druid: I use thornwhip!! *Rolls and gets 4 damage*
Me: So the goat takes 4 hit points of damage
Druid: What?! Oh no! Can I cast goodberry and heal the goat?
Me: On your next turn I guess so?
On her next turn druid rolls a nat 20 for animal handling and feeds the goat back up to max hp.
Did you watch the latest interview? -from mym buzz- i am writing this from my grave because i think i died at 3:23 the way she looks at her the way he conforts her like "yeah you did okay" and also some #sprouselilishoulder there. he couldn't resist such cuteness😂
++ and ive just caught another touching at 6:33 😂😂
Anonymous said: Hey!!! did you see the latest #sprousehart interview that came? IM STILL ON THAT SHOULDER TOUCH ❤️❤️❤️
1. I love that she is so protective of the Bughead ship name. WHO in the world prefers Jetty?!
2. Lili’s body language when Cole says ‘erotic’. She makes a face to him, and then theres this deep inhale that I am very intrigued by.
3. AGAIN with the looks, honestly these fucking heart eyes they give each other.
4. “..for that bacteria to bloom” @ Cole lol what the fuck. Lili “Oook”
5. Constantly making each other giggle aargghhhghghg
6. Lili looks a bit tired? Poor sunflower
7. Them talking about Bughead and their struggles and their love - what I appreciate most about it that they both used the word “real”.
8. KFJEEDJWDDNFR them looking at each other to try to remember and figure out where they are in the story. SO FUCKING CUTE. *Aka an excuse to stare at each other for a really long time*
9. THERE IT IS, my dear anon. #Sprouselilishoulder. Right there. When she needed it. When she asked for ‘reassurance’ and he gave it to her in a heartbeat gahd.
10. They really do listen INTENSELY to each other don’t they?
11. YAAASSSS YAAAS you are definitely right, he “slaps” her arm at 6.33, when saying “OUR time up in Vancouver blablabla” and the best part is that she doesn’t even flinch, so used to it. They make me fall in love.
namjoon scenario (a bit smutty) where he accidentally hurts you during sex because he’s too rough, but you don’t show it then and there, but you began to avoid him because you’re scared happy end pleasee 💖
Hope you like it illi
P.S. I don’t think that what i have written contains any kind of abuse, it’s something that may happend in those contests, feel free to tell me what you think of it
-God I missed you
Namjoon kissed you passionately, biting your skin while his hands
wondered on your body.
You were on the stairs, leading towards your apartment.
-Joon calm down
You smirked while opening the door and leading him inside
He looked at you devilish and licked his plump lips
-Ah thank God I am back, I missed all of you
He nodded, placing his big hands on your hips squeezing them gently
and looking in your eyes.
-You’re so beautiful, next time you’re coming with me
-Ahah Joonie you know I can’t..
He kissed you once, twice..
-Yes. I’ll. Take. You. With. Me.
Laughing softly you started to touch his torso, playing with the hem
of his black t-shirt and looking him with innocent eyes
You felt his heartbeat racing, his hands squeezing again your hips,
getting closer to you he started growling and kissing your neck
-Take off my shirt
He whispered with his low voice in your ear
You did as he asked and looked at his body while unconsciously biting
your lower lips, he was so hot with his tanned skin, you were
suddenly bring back from your world of admiration when Joon took your
face roughly and pressed his body against yours, making you moan
waiting frenetically to get undressed.
-God you’re so beautiful it’s insane
He quickly grabbed you and threw you on the bed, undressing you not
paying to much attention for the expensive black lace dress you were
wearing just for him revealing the matching nude bra and panties that
always drove him crazy.
He smirked once again and growled like a wolf who has just seen his
prey and placed him above you, his legs between yours his jeans still
on follow your lingerie on the floor with his black designed boxers.
You and Joon have been together for more the one year now, you never
knew exactly when it started because you never said to each others
things like “Let’s date” but it just happened, naturally.
Everybody envied the two of you, because it was more then just a
romantic relationship, you were friends, lovers, fans.. everything
He placed at your entrance while biting your neck, making sure you
were ready, you already a moaning mess under him gave pretty much the
He started slowly moving in you while you melted under his touch, you
could feel he was trying his best not to be too hard with you.
That was it, hearing you moaning this were enough. He started
thrusting himself harder in you.
You didn’t have enough time to adjust yourself, you had no idea of
how impatient he was, he kept growling and biting you, suddenly he
placed a hand on your neck, chocking you. It wasn’t something new but
this time it was different, he was wild and not able to control
himself, his hand started squeezing your neck too hard, you your neck
hurting and you moaned in pain.
He relived you and you could finally breath again normally, it was
something that never happened before.. Joon never hurted you and you
knew it wasn’t his intention but you couldn’t stop thinking about
it.. he grabbed your face maybe feeling that something was off and
kissing softly your nose.
-Please tell me you’re close
He came looking in your eyes and you pretended to do the same because
you didn’t want to worry him, you just wanted to finish his off.
The next morning you got up pretty early, not able to sleep well
because of what happened.
You knew he didn’t do it on purpose but it was a bit strange for you,
immersed in your thoughts you made some coffee and took a yogurt out
of the fridge yawning for the sleepless night
You turned around to look at Joon in a white t shirt and black shirts
on smiling widely at you, his hair still wet from the morning shower,
he placed a soft kiss on your cheek and grabbed an apple.
-Gotta go Joon, see you later ok?
You had to put a turtleneck sweater on to hide the marks of the night
before, usually you would have laugh at it but this time you felt
uncomfortable with this.
“Let’s have lunch together honey!!”
“Sorry Joon I had to work!
“Oook don’t work too hard tho!! Love yaa”
-Then why you said nothing?
-I..I don’t know.. I mean we haven’t seen each other for 4 months
-So what? You could have just said “Joon you’re chocking me too
You quickly put a hand on your best friend’s mouth telling her to
-What?? It’s not like you never did something like that..
-I know just.. I don’t know I felt strange
-Talk to him, he probably has no idea
You had to go back home, even if it meant you had to see him. You
just needed a bit of time to get yourself together again, he didn’t
do it on purpose but why did you feel this way?
You quietly entered your house, removing your shoes and placing the
bag on the floor, you sight not hearing him and thinking he went back
You suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder and you screamed
frightened, when you saw his face you automatically pulled back and
smacked against the wall.
-Y/N what’s going on?
Eyes still wide open, you look at him shocked but couldn’t talk,
froze where you were
-Y/N you’re worrying me what happened? You’ve been weird all day
-I don’t know
He helped you sitting on the couch and poured some water for you
-What’s going on?
-You just scared me
He looked at you and then focused on your neck, the sweater was not
covering the marks anymore and as soon as you noticed that you
But Joon was fast enough to stop your hand and pulling off your
collar to see the red print of his fingers on your skin
-What the fuck
-I’ll put something on this ok?
He went to the bathroom and returned with a cream to apply on your
-I am sorry
-It’s ok Joon
-No it’s not, you should have told me to slow down. You shouldn’t be
scared of me
-I am not.. I don’t know why I reacted like this
-I am sorry
He looked at you with watery eyes
He got up from the couch and went to the kitchen avoiding your stare
-I’ll just leave ok? Talk to you tomorrow
You stood up and went towards him
He looked at you and you took a deep breath
-Please stay here ok? I am not scared of you.. I mean we haven’t seen
each other for months and it was rougher then the other times
-I didn’t want to hurt you
You look at him and smiled softly
-I know Joon I just didn’t expect you being like this that’s all.
You’re always gentle even when you’re rough but I guess..
-I couldn’t wait anymore.. I needed you so bad.. I missed you like
crazy those months
-I missed you too
He caressed your neck not able to look at you in the eyes, you took
his hand and kissed it
it’s just so funny how neil was like “i don’t like you or trust you” and andrew was like “it’s mutual” then like 1 hour later andrew is giving neil a key to his house and neil is calling it home like oook buddy
A while back some anon asked me to write about Nejiten hanging out at the mall. Here you go anon, hope you like it. (it contains some ShikaTema, I couldn’t help it soz) oh and, it’s 2 am please excuse any typos I’ll fix em tomorrow.
“So…” Tenten said quietly as she surveyed the busy food court before turning chocolate brown eyes onto her companion, “what do you want to eat?”
Neji let out a soft sigh, for the fifth time that day, “I’m really not hungry.”
Tenten glared fiercely at him, “you haven’t eaten anything all day Neji, you’re worrying me. Pick something or I’ll pick for you.”
The Hyuuga’s shoulders slumped in defeat, “fine, McDonald’s.”
They both waited in line for a few moments, Tenten’s foot tapping rhythmically against the floor and Neji staring into the distance, hands shoved in his dark hoodie’s pockets.
Tenten cleared her throat when she went to the register, “Hi, can I have two Happy Meals, chicken nugget, please? Coke instead of juice.”
Her friend’s head whipped around so fast it was almost comical. “Happy Meal?”
“Sure. You could use it.“
The man looked torn between sighing again and smiling. "Whatever.”
Tenten paid before Neji even had the chance to and he scowled at her but she pointedly ignored him.
“So…” She spoke after they sat down with their meals. It earned them a few amused smiles and raised eyebrows from the people sitting nearby as Tenten began to munch on chicken nuggets. “Will you tell me now what’s bothering you?”
“I told you, I had a fight with Naruto,” Neji told her but that earned him an eye roll.
“Neji you and I both know that’s not what’s bothering you,” Tenten said, brown eyes telling him to ‘cut the crap already’.
He pursed his lips, “Fine. My uncle… he kicked me out of the house.”
Tenten froze, fries hanging from her mouth. If Neji wasn’t too busy feeling uncomfortable about admitting the truth, he would’ve found the sight rather funny.
“What?” She growled, “why?”
Neji tried not to squirm under her gaze, “Well… it’s complicated but according to him, ‘I should be able to handle myself now that I’m an adult.’”
“He can’t just kick you out suddenly!” Tenten’s palm smacked down on the table with enough force it echoed loud enough to get the attention of a few people.
Neji let out another sigh, silently begging her to keep it down, “he’s been hinting at it for a month, apparently, it’s my fault for not taking the hint sooner.”
“Bullshit.” Tenten sulked, slumping back in her seat, her appetite momentarily gone. “Where are you staying?”
“Naruto’s… well, not anymore. I’m not going back there.” Neji said firmly, the corner of his lip tilted down to match his frown.
The brunette gave him an exasperated look, “why not!?”
“It’s a guy thing.”
Tenten’s jaw dropped open. Wow, who would’ve thought Neji could be so stubborn, and childish! “I can’t believe you.”
He shrugged and stuffed some fries in his mouth in hopes she’d seize questioning him for a few moments.
“Okay but now where will you go?” Tenten asked, suddenly concerned rather than annoyed with her crush.
Her forehead hit the table with a quiet smack, startling even Neji who asked, confused, and slightly self-conscious, “what?”
“You’re dumber than Naruto you know? Forget it, you’re staying at mine, I’m sure Temari won’t mind.” Tenten all but demanded, and Neji knew it was a lost cause.
He wouldn’t even be surprised if she decided to drag him along thrashing and screaming. He sighed once more, might as well go down with some dignity, “really Tenten, it’s okay, I’m looking for a plac–”
“Just shut up,” she moaned, dragging a palm down her face, “and eat. Please? I don’t want to have to spoon feed you.”
The was enough warning for him to shove a nugget in his mouth and chew. The brunette’s mouth lifted up in a small smile and he struggled to hide his embarrassment.
After feeling awkward for a few minutes, Neji was interrupted by Tenten’s suggestion, “so, movies or shopping?”
The obvious answer would’ve been the cinema but Neji actually secretly enjoyed shopping. Now, though, that seemed like a bad idea, since he was nearly broke at this point.
“Um… whatever you want.”
Tenten brightened considerably, “alright, we’ll go shopping.”
The Hyuuga wasn’t even sure why he was suddenly glad he let her pick for them. But Neji wasn’t really in the mood for making choices right now, god knows he’s done that enough this past week.
Fifteen minutes later, both nineteen year old’s were done and walking together in a companionable silence.
'Shopping’ in their books didn’t necessarily entitle buying things. Sometimes they simply settled for window shopping, and that was fine by both of them
Neji stopped by a mirror in one shop, having accidentally caught sight of his reflection. Frowning, he studied the boy in the mirror. He could really say he’s had much better days.
And then a cap was placed over his head and Tenten was suddenly next to him, grinning, her brown hair falling just past her shoulder in gentle waves. “Lookin good,”
He scowled momentarily but Tenten’s smile was contagious and he couldn’t help but return it after a moment, removing the cap of his head and pushing it down Tenten’s, briefly blinding her. It earned him a pout.
“Hello!” A worker suddenly greeted them, her smile wide, “would you like a bag?”
“Err…” Tenten straightened, suddenly embarrassed, “no it’s fine we’re only…”
“Getting this.” Neji finished for Tenten, eyeing the cap on her head. Tenten turned to stare at him with wide chocolatey orbs and he couldn’t help but smirk. “This way then!” The blond guided them to the register, humming under her breath. Neji wondered how she could be in such a cheerful mood working in such a tiny shop.
Once Neji paid he placed the cap over Tenten’s head again and they walked out, her blushing fiercely and him holding back laughter. She looked this close to whacking him over the head.
“Why’d you do that!”
“Buy me this.”
“It isn’t like this is the first thing I’ve ever got you Tenten, calm down.” Neji reasoned and watched as the brunette struggled to come up with a valid argument.
Finally, she huffed, grabbed his arm and dragged him to another shop. Ten minutes later saw them buying another cap and Tenten placing it over Neji’s head, much to his confusion. “Here. Now we’re even.”
“Are you serious.” The Hyuuga deadpanned, watching his reflection with incredulity.
Tenten only grinned, shoving her hands in the pockets of her red hoodie. “Sure am.”
They looked so silly, in his opinion but weirdly, a small part of his brain noted, they kind of suited each other.
Neji nearly recoiled at the thought and quickly discarded it, turning around and marching out of the shop, Tenten close behind him.
And for the rest of the day it seemed like the world was playing some cruel game with him as everywhere he looked he saw people holding hands until at some point, a girl behind the cashier commented on how cute he and Tenten looked together which caused Tenten to flush an endearing red and stammer out that they’re just friends.
After that they headed home, taking the eight o'clock bus to the closest stop to Tenten’s apartment.
She leant against his side for the entire ride, the place too crowded and the bus too unsteady. It was too bad all the seats were taken and they had to stand.
Sometime during the ride, someone thought it was appropriate to grope his butt and Neji had twitched in annoyance when he turned around to come face to face with a grinning thirty-year-old man and contemplated whether he should smack him or avoid causing a scene.
At the end, he settled for glaring at the bald headed guy until the man had the audacity to look away.
When they arrived at Tenten’s place, the faint sound of something smacking against the wall was echoing through the apartment and Tenten frowned and called, “Temari?”
The noise immediately seized and was followed by quietly muttered curses from two different voices.
Tenten’s eyebrows shot up when her blond friend scrambled out of her bedroom, hair dishevelled and clothes wrinkled, “uh, hi Tenten, you’re home early…”
The brunette eyed her suspiciously before pointing to Neji, who looked increasingly uncomfortable, “he’s staying the night.”
Temari shrugged and both Neji and Tenten froze when none other than Shikamaru Nara walked out of Temari’s room, in the process of putting his shirt back on.
To her credit, Temari didn’t blush, choosing to only look away innocently.
“Yo,” Shikamaru greeted the two newcomers before moving to the kitchen that was connected to the living room. “Nice to see you guys.”
Temari sighed and gave Tenten an apologetic look, “I’ll get rid of him.” And then turned to eye Neji before saying, “make yourself at home.”
“Oook,” Tenten said, awkwardly, turned on her heel and dragged Neji to her room, “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.”
Neji snorted, “Shikamaru and Temari? Can’t say I saw that one coming.”
Tenten shrugged and dropped on her bed with a sigh, “I always suspected it, especially back in high school when they’d both 'coincidentally’ miss class at the same time.”
The Hyuuga shrugged his shoulders as well and lowered himself on the only couch in Tenten’s room.
They took turns showering and getting ready for bed, Neji even longer than Tenten, having much longer hair that the brunette had the habit of eyeing enviously. When Neji began to head for the couch, Tenten stopped him by catching his wrist and pulling him down onto the bed with enough force to make them bounce slightly, “where are you going?”
He stared at her in bewilderment, “uh, the couch?”
Tenten rolled her eyes, “there’s this nice big bed.”
“It’s your bed.” He told her, his mouth suddenly drying.
“Yes,” Tenten agreed, her eyes dancing with amusement, “but it’s a big one. Get over yourself, Neji.”
The Hyuuga wondered if he should start regretting agreeing to stay over now. He couldn’t remember the last time he shared a bed with anyone; that drunk night with Lee last summer did NOT count.
Nevertheless, he settled down, feeling nervous for no apparent reason as he stiffly laid on his back.
Tenten had already switched the lights off and got comfortable on her side of the bed, phone in hand.
Glancing at his own phone, Neji found three missed calls from Naruto and felt slightly bad. It wasn’t like Naruto did anything wrong, he simply lectured him about dealing with his uncle and Neji didn’t appreciate being treated like a kid. He decided he at least owed him a text and so he dropped a quick message to his blond friend, explaining he was staying at Tenten’s.
The reply was instantaneous.
'Is someone getting laid? ;-)’
Neji felt his eye twitch as he texted back, 'No, stop reading that lame smut you’re always reading it’s making you dumb.’
'Hey, Icha Icha is a masterpiece!’ The blond replied, and Neji could almost imagine him pouting.
'Shut up, idiot.’
'Now you just sound like Sasuke,’ The blond typed.
'Don’t ever compare me to Uchiha.’ Neji scowled as he hit the send button. He didn’t get any reply for many minutes later until finally, his phone buzzed in his hand; new message from Naruto.
'I think you should use this opportunity with Tenten.’
'Would you shut up about that?’ Neji was getting annoyed, and the warmth next to him didn’t help his anxiety.
'Why? You like her.’ Oh hell, Uzumaki is surely being especially annoying tonight.
'I don’t.’ he lied.
'Pfft, sure, K. Keep denying it.’
'Good night, Uzumaki.’
'Oh, we’re doing last names now? Fine. Good night Hyuuga.’
Neji huffed, slumping back against his pillow.
“Why is Naruto texting me telling me to give you a hug because you need it? Are you okay?” Tenten suddenly said, sounding confused and concerned.
That’s it, Neji thought, he’s going to murder Uzumaki.
“Ignore the dumbass.”
Soft flesh pressed against his side and his eyes flew wide open as he froze in place. “T-Tenten?”
“We’re best friends, you can always talk to me, y'know?”
“Of course,” but you’re not wearing a bra Tenten and I can feel that and I’m not sure if I even dislike that but please, please for my sanity, back off.
To his relief she did and he let out a breath he hasn’t realised he was holding.
“Thanks,” he said after a few minutes of silence, feeling the need to at least let her know he was thankful. “For earlier. And now.”
He could almost hear her smile, “you’re welcome Neji.”
“You didn’t have to do this,” he went on because he felt if he stopped talking he’d start thinking about the fact that he’s sharing a bed with Tenten.
“I know, but I don’t mind.” She assured him, sounding somewhat sleepy now, “I’m here for you…” She broke into a yawn and he dared spare her a side glance. She looked too adorable, he instantly looked away. “’M gonna sleep now if you need anythin’ wake me up,”
Not two minutes later, her quiet breathing filled the silence of the room and Neji found himself slightly relaxing.
He dared glance at her one last time, noting how she cocooned the blanket around her and snuggled into her pillow like a little child.
Neji sighed and reached over to gently brush a few loose strand out of her closed eyes before retreating his hand to his side, wondering why he was feeling affectionate all of a sudden. Secretly, he couldn’t be more grateful for having her in his life.
Yawning, he cursed Uzumaki one last time before succumbing to sleep too.
Since You’ve Been Gone -- A Brittana Valentine’s Semi AU (Updated Daily Until Valentine’s Day)
A daily (until Valentine’s Day) updated work! “It’s been one year since Brittany stormed out of the door and left Santana to head to New York City. Things had been looking good for the pair with their wedding day only a few weeks away, but when Brittany got a new job in New York that would have meant a fast track for her career, Santana let fear keep her on the West Coast. On the anniversary of their engagement (and with the help of her friends Mercedes and Sugar), Santana has to put everything on the line to win Brittany back, and show her how much she’s missed her since she’s been gone.”
The phone had been ringing for about 45 seconds before Santana managed to untangle herself from the blanket, dig under one pillow (wrong one), another (another wrong one), and then finally flip herself upside down and slide a hand under a bed. It stopped ringing and she pulled it blurrily up to her face.
‘One Missed Call’ flashed harshly back at her. Of course, she should have been up. It was almost ten. But her job kept her up late most nights, and she’d gotten used to sleeping in, even on her days off. The call looked like it was from Mercedes, and she wondered what her friend would have to tell her in the middle of the day. She’s rubbed a hand through her thick, dark hair. Mercedes had only been back in the States a couple of months, but they wanted her for a production of Dreamgirls. She’d killed it in the West End for the past year, and now investors were scrambling to get some of her talent across the pond. She smiled thinking about Mercedes. She was so proud of her. In the meantime, the rehearsals had been running her friend ragged. She barely had time to chat as opening night got closer, but Santana had understood. She was about to call Mercedes back when the phone began ringing in her hand. She nearly dropped it again, before getting her bearing, and pressing Accept.