ooohhhhh!

Pick up lines (Voltron)

Lance: *in a bush* Alright Shiro, you got this

Shiro: *fumbling through a date with Allura. There is an earpiece attached to his ear to link him to Lance*

Lance: Now tell her, “We make a great team”. That is the best pick up line I have. 

Shiro: Okay *to Allura* Hey, Allura. 

Allura: Yes?

Shiro: We make a great- Ooohhhhh *Cringes at the bushes* he didn’t realize you were flirting with him. 

Lance: SHUT UP! I’m never being your wingman again! 


From that point on Shiro did his very best to subtly convey to Keith that saying “We make a great team” is a means of flirting. 

Cerita kisah lucah cikgu

Cerita Lucah Kisah Ku

Selepas sahaja aku terpancut berdecit2 ke dalam mulut adik angkat ku dalam posisi 69 kami dan waktu yang sama dia memuntah kan cairan pusy nye ke dalam mulut ku, kami bertindih dalam keadaan begitu beberapa minit untuk dapat semula pernafasan kami yang tadi nye begitu kencang melayan nafsu ke maksima.

Adik angkat ku yang meniarap atas badan ku perlahan-lahan menangkat bontot nye dan pusy nye terlepas dari bibir ku yang masih menjilat2 lubang dan bibir pusy nye sambil menikmati aroma dan rasa cairan yang masih meleleh perlahan dari lubang nikmat adik angkat ku.

Batang ku yang tadinye melentok kini mula menunjuk kan seperti mahu bangun semula dan terasa ku perlahan menegang dan kembang akibat aku menikmati sedutan cipap adik angkat ku. Adik angkat ku yang sedar akan reaksi aku segera bangun dan terus pergi ke celah kangkang ku yang masih terbuka luas. Dengan senyuman menjeling pada ku dan mulut yang separuh terbuka, dia menurunkan kepala nye dan masa yang sama ku rasakan kepala cendawan ku menyentuh bibirnya dan perlahan2 tenggelam ke dalam mulut nye… ku rasakan bahang pernafasan adik angkat ku mengulum kepala cendawan ku seperti lollipop galak nye….

Dia tak terus menelan batang ku…Cuma mainan mulut dengan kemam kepala cendawan dan gigit2 manja pangkal cendawan ku… lidah nye pula di lulurkan ke lubang kencing ku yang ku rasakan seperti terbuka di jolok lidah dan sedut oleh mulut adik angkat ku….aaahahhahagggh… keluh ku perlahan.. dan ku angkat punggung ku seperti ingin di jolok kan seluruh batang ku ke mulutnye… sedaaapppp kata ku… adik angkat menjeling lagi ke arah ku dan kali ini sambil di kuat kan kemam nye kepala cendawan ku dan di geleng2 kepala kiri dan kanan …ooogghhhahhhhh… sedapppppppp… sengaja dia buat begitu…senyum nye dengan mulut penuh kepala ku

Batang ku sekarang dah tegang sepenuhnye…malah berdenyut2 menahan kesedapan… mazi ku yang dah mula keluar di jilat dan sedut adik angkat ku…. Ku layan nikmat di lakukan begitu kerana aku memang suka kena blow job… aku tak sangka adik angkat ku ni pandai sekali buat blow job… banyak tengok n baca porno kata nye… dan tak berpeluang praktis….sluurrpppp slurrpppp …hmmmgghmmmgghh bunyi keluar dari mulut adik angkat ku…mata nye sudah kuyu n lentok badan nye yang bogel sudah menunjukkan dia mudah bernafsu dan ghairah akibat perbuatan nye menghisap batang ku…

Aku pun bangun dan mula merayap-rayap kan tangan ku ke tetek nya yang tergantung seperti buah ranum bergoyang-goyang di tiup angin… sambil putingnye ku gentel2 manja… ououuooffgghh tersentak adik angkat aku dan secara spontan mulut nye terus menenggelamkan batang ku… terasa hangat seluruh batang ku masuki ke pangkal tekak nye… dan di sorong tarik batang ku dengan mulut nya dari hujung kepala cendawan dan di tekan sampai ke pangakal memenuhi ruang mulut nye…

Aku yang sudah duduk sekarang mula meneroka lubang cipap nye yang dah mula berair semula…ku usap bibir cipap nye yang tembam ke atas dan ke bawah… perlahan2 dan laju2…. Abangggggg… ahhhaaaaa…bisik dengus adik angkat ku …di jongket bontot nye kerana nikmat…

Aku dengan manja angkat kepala adik angkat ku ke atas dan mula cium bibir nye yang basah akibat isapan batang ku…dia menyambut dengan bibir terbuka membenarkan lidah ku teroka mulut nya dan bertukar lidah dan air liur …kami yang mula nye bercium perlahan..kini dah bertambah ganas… hisapan2 lidah bertambah rakus dan tangan ku mula meramas kemas dan tetek nye dan placing tetek ku tarik2 liar…

Aghahahahah…aduuuuuhhauuuu…sedappppp…rengek adik angkat ku….abangggg….masuk kan batang abangggg… pinta adik angkat ku…. Adik tak tahan dah ni… nak rasa batang panas abang dalam pantat adik….pinta nye…

Adik dah sedia ke tanye ku…. Dah abang… pusy adik ni dah kembang kuncup nak kan batang abang…

Aku yang memang dari tadi mahu kan tujahan pada pusy nye… mula merapatkan batang ku ke pusy nye dalam keadan duduk…. Adik angkat ku angkat bontot nye dan selarikan lubang pusy kea rah batang ku…perlahan2 dia turun kan bontot nye dan batang ku perlahan2 memasuki lubang cipap nye yang berair mengalir tanpa henti… bibir pusy terkopak kembang participant laluan kepala cendawan membuka laluan…ku tolakkan lagi dan kepala ku terasa kemas sempit memasuki lurah yang panas dan basah… cairan pusy adik angkat ku membantu melancarkan perjalanan batang ku..

Oooggghhhhhh…keluh nye bila sedilit demi sedikit kepala batang ku hilang dalam pusy nye dan mula menyedut kemut kepala batang ku…batang ku pula yang tadi tenggelam dalam mulut nye sekarang di telan mulut nye di bawah pula…lagi nikmat dan kemas rasa nye akibat lubang nye yang sempit walau pun ku tau tiada dara….

Dia yang tak dapat mengawal nikmat nye terus menekan bontot nye dan terus batang ku tenggelam sepenuh nye ke dalam pusy adik angkat ku….waarrghhhhhhh..oooggghhhh…terkeluar suara adik angkat ku….dan dia diam duduk begitu…sambil ku rasakan lubang cipap nye mengemut2 batang ku….ku rasa batangku disedut2 ke pangkal dengan aksi nye…

Ku rapatkan badan ku ke badan nye sambil tangan ku masih rakus menggomol tetek nye yang kental dan placing tertonjol tegang bernafsu… mulut ku sibuk melayan bibir nye dan lidah nye…crutiitit cruititit bunyi air ludah kami bertukar2…cucupppcupppp… bibir di sedut2 sedap

Kami serentak mula mulakan hayunan bontot kami seperti satu irama ke arah sama memastikan setiap kali tundun kami bertembung…batang ku tenggelam penuh ke dalam pusy nye di sambut dengan hentakan ke bawah lubang pantant nye…aghhha aaghh aghhh ooogghoooghh ..suara2 nikmat berulang2 perlahan…tk berani nak kuat2 sebab kakak nye di atas tido…waktu tu dah pukul 3 pagi tapi kami masih lagi melayang nafsu kami yang belum puas setelah kami mula kan aksi sex kami pukul 12 malam tadi…

Aku pun baring semula sementara adik angkat ku masih menunggang ku dari atas… dengan separuh cangkung…dia turun naik sambil bontot nye di lentik kan depan dank e belakang dan kadang kala kiri kanan…menikmati batang ku yang tenggelam timbul dalam pusy nye…aku terus kan meramas2 tetek nye supaya dia dapat rasakan seluruh letrik punat2 sex nye serentak memberikan kejutan2 nikmat…

Aku dapat rasakan dia semakin hamper ke puncak bila kemutan2 pusy nye semakin kerap dan lama2 mengepit sedut batang ku…kepala nye bergoyang2 sambil mata tertutup menghayati sepenuh nye aksi sex kami..

Am cumin…am cumin…am cumin….haaghhhh…am cumin abang…tolak kuat2 abang..am cumin…ooohhhhh…lagi abang…adik tak tahan ni ….aghhhh sedap nye penuh nye….haagghh satisfy abang..adik nak lagiiiiiiiiii…rengek adik ku…aku tambah stim dengan rengekan adik angkat ku makin galak menghentak ke atas punggung ku masukkan batang ku sedalam bole…memang sukar nak hentak maksima bila perempuan di atas…memahami posisi kami..adik angkat menghentak kuat setiap kali dia turun…aku turut bantu dia dengan gentel2 kelentet nye yang terkangkang menerima batang ku..ini membuatkan dia lagi liar dan laju kan hayunan bontotnye dan..ahhhhggghh abangnnnnnnn cuminnnnnnn…oooghhhh…don stopppppppp…dan bontotnye terhenti bila dia hentak ke bawah…dan menekan2 macam nak penyekkan batang ku…aku pun tujah sekuat boleh ke atas dan rasa kan kemutan cipap adik angkat ku kuat sekali menekan batang ku…dank u ramas tetek nye lagi sambil sedut puting tetek nye…abannngggggggg… jerit kecil nye keluar di keheningan pagi..takut didengari..aku cepat2 cium mulut nye dan nmeratah bibir dan lidah nye…oommghghooomghgh adhdhdhduihh ….yang keluar dari mulut nye sambil badan nye kekejangan dan kaki dirapatkan ke peha ku….ku rasa air suam mencurah2 kepala batang ku di dalam cipap nye yang panas akibat geselan-geselan berterusan batang ku…

Ku biarkan saja batang ku terus berendam di dalam cipap nye yang bertambah lemah kemutan2…dan longgar melepaskan batang ku yang masih tegang berdenyut2…setelah dia reda..aku baring kan adik angkat ku dank u lapikkan bontot nye agar cipap tembam berair nye menonjol di depan ku dan ternganga sedikit seperti bibir nya yang menanti agar di tujah2 lagi… aku pula mengambil posisi mencangkung di celah kangkang adik angkat ku dan mainkan kepala cendawan ku yang basah dik air cipap nye di bibir cipap dan tepuk2 kan atas biji kelentit nye… hhmmmmm…ahhhh…bisik nye halus dan di kangkang kan lagi cipap nye lebih luas…

Aku yang terasa cukup teransang letakkan kepala batang ku di bukaan cipap nye dan dengan sekali henjut terus menekan dengan kuat… aaghhhhhh abanggggggg…terjerit adik angkat ku dan cipap nye yang tembam tertonjol disantak ke hujung rahim… celepap… bunyi lagaan tundun ku dan tundun nye… ku lihat matanye terbeliak menerima hentakan padu tadi… antara sakit dan sedap agak nye…aku tarik semula batang ku dan ku terjah keras sekali lagi…dan ku tarik perlahan keluar…lalu tekan sekuat nye… tersentak2 badan nye menerima hentakan2 ku yang sekarang ni bertambah kerap dan meningkat laju…aghh..ooohhh..aagghhh… jerit2 kecil keluar dari mulut nye… ku lihat cairan2 lebih banyak keluar dari cipap nye…dan secara mendadak ku tarik terus keluar batang… uuffghghh…terpancut2 air keluar dari lubang kencing nye dalam keadaan cipap nye yang terkemut2 melepaskan climax nye ..aku terusan je menekan semula cipap adik angkat ku…terjongket2 bontot nye menikmati setiap tujahan ku… kepala cendawan ku sudah ku rasakan berdenyut2 dan dapat dirasakan aliran mani ku mula tersusun di telur untuk di lepaskan…

Adik..kata ku… pusing tiarap..kata ku…aku perlu tukar posisi supaya dapat ku tahan pancutan mani ku buat sementara… adik angkat yang masih ghairah memusingkan badan nye lalu meniarap… cantik sungguh physique adik posisi camni..puji ku…untung la sapa yang dapat puaskan nye…jawab nye…melentik punggung yang putih kental dengan alur bontot terus ke lurah yang basah lencun dengan air mainan sex kami….

Aku mula beri ciuman berahi ke belakang telinga dan tengkuk nye sambil ku laga kan batang tegang ku di lurah bontot nye… terjungkit bontot nye terima nikmat di atas dan bawah… hhmmmmm…ahhhhh…desis nye lagi… hairan juga aku betapa kuat nye tenaga dan nafsu sex adik angkat ku dengan permainan kami kerana ku rasa dia telah beberapa mengalami climax nye tapi masih mahu di layar dan tunggang… kuat sex ye…sindir ku…kena dengan orang nye menjadi la…jawab nye…adik tak kan puas selagi abang tak pancutkan mani abang dalam cipap adik…kata nye lagi…adik rasa betapa hangat nye mani abang…hehehehe..usik nye manja…

Aku pun capai kedua tetek nye yang terangkat akibat posisi lentik nye dank u ramas2 ganas sambil jari2 ku gentel puting2 tetek…wahhahahghh enak nya abang… lagi bang…aku terus je lakukan ramasan ku sambil mulut dan lidah ku terus layari leher..tengkuk dan belakang nye… ku lepaskan tetek nya dan mulut dan tangan ku merayap ke bawah ke ponggong kental nye… ku ramas2 pipi bontot dan lurah nye ku jilati dari atas ke bawah….oooggghhhh…bisik nye dan dilentik kan bontot nye ke atas…participant ku lebih ruang untuk melapah bontot nye…lurah dan lubang bontot ku jilat dan tujah dengan lidah ku…dan di suakan lagi ke muka ku oleh nye dengan lentikan…

Setelah ku puas lakukan jilatan2 dan ramasan2 carry out bontot nye…dan air cipap nye terus mengalir bersama pancutan2 dari lubang kencing nye tanda nikmat oral ku…aku cangkung semula dan ku halakan semula ke lurah cipap nye…adik..tonggek kan bonto lagi..arah ku…dengan rela dia tonggekkan bontot nye dan lubang cipap nye jelas kelihatan…aku sorongkan batang ku perlahan2 dan rasakan kemutan cipap menyedut masuk batang ku… ku teruskan tolakan dan batang masuk ke lurah berair dengan lancer…adik angkat ku membantu dengan tonggek kan lagi bontot nye menerima suapan batang ku… masa yang sama ku tarik tetek nye dan badan nye melentik seperti sabut terbalik memerima nikmat tujahan batang ku dan ramasan2 di tetek dan placing nye… aku mulakan tujahan2 keras dan kuat dan ku gunakan teteknye sebagai pautan…abang..sedap abang..adik nak lagi abang…adik tak tahan niiiii…adik nak cum lagiiii…bontotnye digoyang atas bawah tanda kesedapan amat sangat…melihat bontot nye begini buat kan nafsu membuak2 menujah cipap nye…dengan nakal…aku letakkan jari tengah ku di lubang bontot nye dan setiap kali ku aku tujah cipap nye…ku masukkan jari ku ke dalam lubang bontot nye… aahhhh…appaaa tu abang…sedapppp..

Ku ramas2 pipi bontot nye pula sambil ku tujahan2 ku makin laju… ku kuak kan bontot nye dan lubang nye ku sumbat pula dengan ibu jari ku…serentak tujahan batang ku…lubang bontot di jolok dengan jari ku…nafas nye bertambah kencang…begitu juga diri ku….ku dapat rasakan lagi…mani ku sudah mula meluru2 nak keluar dari telur ku yang keras semacam menahan kenikmatan… kemutan2 nye bertambah kemas dan lama…dan..oogghhhh abangggggg…adik cuminnnnnnnn…..dan serentak itu aku tekan kuat sepenuhnye batang ku ke pangkal dan digoyang2 di dasar cipap nye….bontonye yang terbuka ku jolok kan dengan dengan ibu jari ku sambil ku goyangkan sekuatnye…eeehhghhhh oogggghh…badan nye makin tak terkawal..dengan kepala nye meronta2 …uffhfhghhh..uuffghhh..uffgghhh…menggigil2 ku rasakan…seluruh badan nye…

Reaksi nye membuat ku tak tertahan lagi nafsu ku….batang ku yang tenggelam ke dasar cipap nye di kemut sedut dengan kuat…ku dapat rasakan cairan suam mencurah kepala cendawan ku…dengan beberapa goyangan2…aku pun melepaskan mani ku…cruttt..cruttt..menembak dasar cipap nye…dibalas pula oleh cairan cipap yang ku rasakan membuak2 dari rahim nye… adikkkkkkk…abang pancut niiii…aghhhhh…keluh ku…k uterus menekan nekan batang ku dan pancutan mani ku berdas2 dilepaskan…semakin lemah tembakan nye…. Abangggg..mmgghhhhgggg…dia menadah cipap nye lagi..sama2 mencapai puncak climax yang diusahakan bersama…

Ahhhahhh….aku terjelepuk di belakang nye…lentikan bontot nye pun lemah dan terus tertiarap sepenuh nye…aku biarkan batang ku mengecut perlahan2 dalam cipap nye… semakin kecil batang ku ..ia nye terkeluar dari rongga lubang cipap nye….sambil diikuti lelehan mani ku dan cairan cipap nye membasahi lantai….bau seks kami cukup kuat bercampur…ku peluk erat adik angkat ku dari belakang sambil ku cium2 manja belakang nye dan pipi nye…hhmmmmm..bes nye..puas sangat2..bisik adik angkat ku…say thanks to you kata ku…adik puas…abang pun puas… yessss…cipap ni masih mahu kan lagi batang abang tau..kata nye manje sambil menjeling ku tersenyum…tapi nak rehat dulu ye…katanye…ok kata ku…lalu ku dakap nye dalam bogel..kami berpelukan…batang dan cipap kami biarkan basah dengan cairan nikmat kami……

Me, when I start a drama and find a new pretty...

HOLY SHIT THIS EPISODE WAS GOOD! IT’S TIME FOR POST-SPN SCOUTTHOUGHTS!

  • AW NOOO WE BETTER GET TO HEAR MORE ABOUT CAS’S VIDEOGAME JUNKIE ANGEL FRIEND 
  • dean is the grumpiest bf ever omg 
  • LMAO THE CAR ARGUMENT 
  • cas so sessy ooohhhhh 
  • THE BENCH SEAT SCENE IS EVEN FUNNIER IN MOTION 
  • i like to imagine the lady vessel for cas actually has a super high pitched voice and cas just isn’t good with human vocal control
  • CAS YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE OUT WITH DEAN TO PROVE YOU LIKE HUMANS NOW, IT IS THE ONLY WAY 
  • sam and dean: *spend a good 20 minutes not basically almost dying but get right back to it* 
  • [DRAMATICALLY REMOVES EYEPATCH] 
  • i’m so happy that i watch spn alone because the amount of times i’ve squeaked “OHHH, CAS” is embarrassing 
  • ME, CRYING: TGEYHCGHLOVECAS THEY LOVE CAS SO MUHUHUHUUUCH

what i learned: i’m a filthy shipper but i’m not sure what else i was supposed to gain from the episode???

okay so this was like 3 years ago in 7th grade, we were outside for recess one day and my friends and i were just hanging by the tennis court like usual, when all of a sudden a herd of people stampede to the middle of the blacktop. everyone else follows them, including my group. then we hear a lot of shouting and “OOOHHHHH"s, and you’d think this was a fight, right? wrong. two boys in my grade literally caused all of this commotion playing a game of fucking rock paper scissors. anyway, a monitor broke through the crowd of children and broke up the two boys and the principal came out and everything it was wild

Holster and the Jewish Grudge

Ok so we all know that resident Nice Jewish Boy Adam Birkholtz has a lovely voice. He cultivated it in various choir groups throughout his adolescence, the most notable being the youth choir at his synagogue.

The youth choir consisted of young voices from third grade up to sixth grade, and they performed at temple functions and religious school events. The biggest event by far was the end of the year concert, where the entire school would gather on the last day to hear a set list of hits such as “The Hope”, “I am a Latke”, and many more peppy and religiously toned jams.

Because the Cantor who ran the youth choir had a love of musical theatre, some of the songs would be taken from her favorite shows. There was always “For Good” from Wicked, and the coveted “Seasons of Love” from Rent.

Now, every year it was tradition that a chosen 6th grade boy and 6th grade girl would each get a respective solo in the song. To sing the sixth grade solo was a right of passage coveted by any true songster in the choir, and Adam wanted it badly.

When the day came for the Cantor to choose solos for the end of the year concert, he was the only sixth grade boy, and according to anyone you’d ask, a shoe-in for the solo. But when the time came for Adam’s name to be announced, the Cantor said:

“And for the male solo for Seasons of Love, we’ll have… Jacob!”

Adam’s jaw dropped. That was his solo, but she just said Jacob? After rehearsal, Adam confronted the Cantor.

“Um, excuse me miss?” He said a little bashful, rubbing the back of his neck, “well, the Seasons of Love solo always goes to a sixth grade boy, and Jacob is in fifth grade? I’m a sixth grader and it’s my last year in choir. I would really like that solo.”

“Well,” the Cantor said, “That’s just show business.” She shrugged and left a dumbfounded Adam behind.

He couldn’t believe this! This was his moment and it was taken from him! Show business? They were 12 for crying out loud!

Adam’s bitterness followed him to the next rehearsal. They were practicing “Seasons of Love” and he couldn’t help to scowl thrown to Jacob. At the end of the song, where usually Joanne’s character riffs about love and remembrance, Adam decided to fill in for that roll, vocalizing “ooohhhh you got to you got to remember the looooove! Oooohh cause love is a gift from up abooove!”

He made eye contact with the Cantor, and could feel that he was in trouble.

After rehearsal she approached him, “Adam? What was that during practice?”

“Well, uh-”

“Because I loved it!” She smiled, “you know? You should do that for the concert!”

“Wait really?” He asked dumbfounded.

“Yes! It was beautiful, very original.”

“Well ok!” Adam smiled. If he couldn’t have the solo he wanted, what is better than having an unprecedented solo?

The day of the concert approached fast, and while the rest of the school was finishing their last lesson, the youth choir was setting up for the concert.

The Cantor had the stage hands place two microphones out for solos and one for the whole choir.

“Miss? When we do Season’s of Love, what mic should I use? There are only two mics for solos, but that song has three solos now.”

“Oh! Er- yes,” she looked around, “why don’t you stand in the front and center of the choir, and then when your turn comes up, step up to the choir mic!”

“Alright!” Adam beamed. His parents were going to be so proud.

By the time the show had started and gone on for a while, and it was time for his song, Adam was ready.

This was his time to shine!!

His part approached and he took half a step forward to the mic. He began to sing “ooohhhhh you got to you got to remember the love” but he couldn’t hear himself. He continued, “measure, measure your life in love~”

When they finished everyone was clapping, but something felt off.

The Cantor rushed over once the curtains closed, “oh I’m so sorry Adam, I guess that mic wasn’t on huh?”

“But you said-”

“Well,” she shrugged, “it’s just show business!”

She walked off stage and the curtains opened for their final bow. His family complimented him after, his mom squishing his cheeks, but something tasted sour in his mouth.

Did she really not like his voice that much? Was she so desperate to cling to any semblance of power that she would put down the dreams of 12 year old boy?

Those questions stayed with Adam for over a decade, and his grudge kept his viewing of Rent at bay (to his chagrin).

The summer after graduating from Samwell, Adam was offered a position at the Buffalo Performing Arts Center. Part of this position involved leading the casting of their productions.

It just so happened their fall musical was going to be Rent.

On the day they were calling for Mimi’s none other than his childhood Cantor showed up. She was very middle aged now, and her audition was laughable at best.

During his break he went out to the vending machine for a snack.

“Oh my god! Adam Birkholtz I knew I recognized you! What are you doing here? A summer job before college?”

“Actually, I just graduated from college ma'am.”

“Wow,” she said unaffected, “how time goes by.” She looked down at her feet, “so, do you think you have a chance?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.” He laughed.

“Well, come on! For your old choir instructor you can make an exception!” She looked weary.

“Between you and me, there have been some very good contenders.”

She looked down and frowned at that.

“Well don’t be sad Cantor,” Adam beamed, “it’s just show business.”!

iron man vol. 3 tonyru: a summary
  • rumiko: [exists]
  • tony: ooohhhhh m...yy.... gdooo.... acan you do th..at... agai.nnn for th.ee resT OF M..Y LIFE...
  • ---
  • journalist: [starts talking shit about tony--]
  • rumiko: W H A T D O Y O U T H I N K Y O U A R E D O I N G
  • ---
  • tony: [gets his nose broken trying to defend rumiko]
  • rumiko: [PUNCHES GUY WHO PUNCHED TONY]
  • ---
  • rumiko: [riding a motorcycle]
  • tony: my god she's such a mess she's such a ball of energy she has her heart on her sleeve she has no chill she
  • tony: I AM SO IN LOVE I BET BILL GATES DOESN'T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS
  • ---
  • tony: do not fall in love tony do not fall in love do not
  • rumiko: hey lover
  • tony: fuck
  • ---
  • rumiko: [actual canonical embodiment of the "(ANGRY) BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" fanfic trope]
  • ---
  • rumiko: do not pick up that phone
  • tony: [picks up the phone]
  • rumiko: we're getting a divorce
  • ---
  • tony: [strikes up conversations with homeless people in the street during dates]
  • rumiko: [angry] I A M S O F U C K I N G I N L O V E W I T H H I M T H I S I S E X H A U S T I N G
  • ---
  • rumiko: [impolitely physically drags tony away from annoying people]
  • rumiko: [runs and tackle hugs tony]
  • rumiko: [jumps into tony's arms and kisses him mid-sentence]
  • rumiko: [tries to flick tony's nose while he's driving]
  • rumiko: [runs to tony and plays with his hair]
  • tony: For That Brief Moment I Was Happy

anonymous asked:

do you have any gay!david headcanons? (ps hope you're having / had a great day!)

oh man. ooohhhhh man. here we fuckin go. this kinda turned into javid but it’s still pretty gay (also my day was good! i hope you’re having a good day too ily!!) 

•he’s never liked girls, so throughout his life he just assumed he’d be a bachelor. he doesn’t even consider that liking boys is a possibility. 
•not to say that he’s close-minded; he grows up in an extremely accepting and progressive environment.
•he only starts to really question his sexuality when sarah comes out.
•things start to make sense. he realizes that the way he thinks about other boys isn’t jealousy, its wanting.
•one day he’s hanging out with the newsies and they’re going through photos from the strike, and in one of them, he sees himself looking at jack the way sarah looks at her girlfriend.
•and then suddenly it hits him like a ton of bricks.
•every time he’s around jack after that, he tries to avoid looking at him, because he’s afraid of what he’s feeling and he hopes that if he can ignore it than maybe it will go away.
•one day he’s hanging out with sarah and katherine (who are dating) and katherine mentions something about jack being bi.
•and davey is like ???? i thought he was straight???
•and they both just look at him weird because this is common knowledge and how the hell did you not know this david?
•so david plans this elaborate coming out talk to jack, because he totally has a crush on him they’re best friends and he wants jack to be the first to know, and maybe offer some support.
•but when it’s actually time for david to tell him he just starts to stutter because damn it, jack is giving him this smug look at its driving him wild.
•and then david can’t take it anymore and he just. fucking kisses jack square on the mouth.
•and its beautiful and gay and jack is like “thank god you finally did that i’ve been waiting forever”
•and they’re both happy domestic gays together.
•(nsfw) and david tops in the bedroom

Namjin: *texting*

Namjoon: you wanna go?!??

Seokjin: yea

Namjoon: on a date with me

Namjoon: SO YOU DO!

Namjoon: OOOHHHHH!!!!!

Seokjin: YOU’RE SAYING THAT LIKE I FELL FOR A CUNNING PRANK I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU DOORKNOB

youtube

Omg Jared and Shannon smelling her hair and complimenting her!! Oh god at 0:20 seconds the way Jared is looking at her 😨😨 that lip biting, tongueporn and exhalation ooohhhhh 😥🔥🔥💦💫💥 I really wish I was her!!😍😍
Here’s the vid @flippyskip