Lotor: Now, dear dear Keithy-boy, Why would I know anything about your mother?
Keith: You’re the current Galra Emperor.
Lotor: Yes, but that doesn’t mean I know everythi-
Keith: Are you kidding me? Everytime something f**ked up happens in this series, the Galra Emperor always has something to do with it. So make with the explanations. I wanna know where I come from. I wanna know who my mother was. I wanna know what love is! I want you to show me!
Lotor: I don’t know what to tell you. It’s as much a mystery to me as it is to you.
Keith: I need the information.
Lotor: Well, I could tell you what I know, but…
Keith: But what?!
Lotor: You would have to do something for me first.
Keith: I’m listening…hesitantly.
Lotor: Something dirty!
Keith: Go on.
Lotor: Something very very dirty. So dirty that you’ll need to take a shower once we’re finished.
Keith: WHAT?! What is it?!
Lotor: You have to watch… Spice World: The Movie!
Lotor: With me.
Lotor: And it’s the sing-along version!
Keith: No! No! NO!
Lotor: Well, I guess in that case, you’ll never learn the truth.
Keith: Can I at least wear a blindfold?
Lotor: Oooh! Keithy-boy! I had no idea you had it in you!
Keith: What? We’re just watching a movie, right?
Lotor: Oh, right. The movie.
[Ninety spicetastic minutes later]
Keith: (shockingly) That was… horrifying! This.. must be… how… war veterans feel… to have experienced such brutality… such… unforgettable horrors! A part of me died today. Perhaps the best part.
Lotor: Very well, Keith. Since you kept up your end of the bargain, I must divulge the naughty little secret I’ve been keeping all this time.
Keith: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m sure you’re keeping a lot of secrets, Lotor. A lot of secrets.
Lance: Like the fact that he’s gay!
Keith: Thank you, Lance. I really needed you to translate my sarcastic quip.
Lance: You’re welcome, man.
Lotor: Lean closer, Keith. I will tell you who you must speak to in order to learn the truth… By whispering the information into your ear.
Keith: Ok, but the moment I feel tongue, I’m getting the f**k outta dodge.