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Colonial America Headcanons Cause Y’all are Nerds

Despite Hetalia canon, it is very unlikely America would’ve had short hair in the 18th century. The fashion of the time was long hair and wigs for men and women alike. The only reason a man would have short hair would be if he wore a wig. Because of this, it’s plausible for England to have had shorter hair, but not America. Not only would a wig be too expensive for the Colony, but it wouldn’t have made sense for him. If he really needed to look sophisticated, he could’ve easily powdered his hair instead.

Due to agriculture being the staple of the colonies, it’s plausible for America to have been a farm boy. Not only would it be true to the strengths of his colonies, but it would’ve made life a lot more affordable for him.

Interestingly, America could’ve been born anytime from 1585 to 1607. This being said, his colony of origin could’ve been North Carolina or Virginia depending if you believe he could’ve survived Roanoke and the twenty-two-year gap between it and Jamestown.

It’s likely America didn’t eat many sweets in his childhood, mostly due to the fact he wouldn’t in a good state financially to be spending recklessly. Sugar and molasses were both expensive, and by the time he would’ve been financially in a place in which he could afford candy, the Molasses Act of 1733 and the Sugar Act of 1764 would’ve made the base ingredient of molasses too expensive. Because of this, the candy he would’ve eaten would be made of maple syrup.

It’s often a fun fandom idea that America hated baths as a kid, but there is some historical truth to that. In colonial America, bathing was considered very bad for your health. The idea was that it’d lower your body’s natural capability to resist illness, so it was encouraged to bathe as little as possible. Because of that, America would’ve only bathed anywhere from four to five times a year. However, like most colonists, it’s likely he would wash his face and hands daily since that was the only thing that would show with typical clothing.

During the suit episode of Hetalia season one, what America was given wasn’t anything like the fashion of the 18th century. Bowties weren’t worn, long trousers weren’t a thing, and no jackets were that short. It would’ve made more sense for America to have been given a redcoat uniform or something that would actually be considered fitting of the time.

It is likely America went through the tradition of breeching, which is a boy’s journey to being a man. If you’re curious on the tradition, this page will tell you more.

Finally, I end on the note of America’s abnormal ageing.

In the year 1763, Canada would become a British Colony following the French and Indian War. It is plausible that is the first time he’ll meet America properly. At that moment in time, they are both wearing dresses, which means that they are below the ages of six at least.  

However, one of the kickoffs to the American Revolution will happen in 1768, when John Hancock would be caught smuggling and have his ship Liberty taken away.

The next time we will see America is in the final battle scene of America’s Storage Room Cleaning, which likely took place at the Seige of Yorktown in 1781. Assuming he was around four when he met Canada for the first time, he could’ve aged anywhere from ten to twelve years in the span of twenty-eight years.  

The reason I give that time estimate is due to America’s height, muskets could be up to six feet tall and a tween wouldn’t have been able to carry one. America would’ve had to have gone through puberty in order to have the necessary height to carry it.  Because of that, he could be anywhere in the range of fourteen to sixteen years old.


rangimarie submitted:

My favorite crazies.

Ok, first things first: Rose. My child. My ‘may need a restraining order’ child. I love her,,,,

Second: THANK YOU AND THIS BLOG FOR EXISTING!! I LOVE THIS BLOG SO FRIKN MUCH, I’M SO GLAD IT WAS CREATED!! My sister first introduced me to you last year, (I had a different account that is sadly gone now) and I’m very grateful she did!!! This blog made me laugh alot, especially the posts with john????

Third: Eridan & VAAASka. I know in this timeline (?) they arn’t a thing, and Eridan and sollux are moirails. But I saw that one post with Eridan and VAAASKkA and I viewed them as each other’s support, (also because I really ship erisol and I want to slap a matespritship on them instead)))) but that’s not the point. They seem like “sad"people that need to help eachother.
I’m also looking at a duck rn, not sure if that was relevant, but I just felt like I needed to say that????

((I’m so very happy you love these babies almost as much as I do >:^> they mean so much to me. tell your sis that she’s a cool cucumber for introducing you to the wonderful world of oppoopsitestuck! and dont let go of that EriVris moirail headcanon just yet ;> ))

((Still can’t believe it’s actually Saeran who cutely announces “CHERIT-CHU!” when you open the MM app instead of Seven))

Season 3 Klance headcanon

Keith: *docking the Red Lion and taking off his paladin armor* Woah— hey! Is that Lance? Lance! (starts running towards him)

Lance: *running towards him too* Keith?

Keith: Lance, you finished my mission. I— Wait. Is that my jacket?

Lance: *blushes, begins taking it off*

Keith: No no no, keep it. It suits you.

Today in my linguistics class we were talking about the combination of the words, like the first part being one word and the second being another (ie. spork). So my prof mentions ship names and asks for some examples and the entire class is silent… Except this one guy in the back who shouts out “Snarry!” and then he turns to his friend and is like.. “don’t judge me, Mike”. And I’m sitting there just like.. Oh no Robert, today is judgement day and you have been found guilty.

Hello!!! I’m really sorry for being absent in the past 2 weeks, I was so busy with my finals ;; A ;; But finals are finally over now and I hope I can get back to my usual schedule.