only-2-hours-away-from-home

This little island, perched on coral, has a higher population density than Manhattan. In fact, it’s density is four times that of Manhattan! It is only 2.4 acres in size, yet, it’s home to 1,200 people. Santa Cruz del Islote is a small island in an archipelago off the coast of Colombia. With no water, and electricity just 5 hours a day, why does anyone live here?

Legend has it that about 150 years ago, a group of fishermen from the coastal town of Baru, about 50 km away, were looking for new waters to fish when they stumbled upon this small coral island, sitting low in the waters. As it was too late to return, the fishermen decided to set up camp on the island for the night and were pleasantly surprised to discover that the island had no mosquitoes, a rarity in the area. The story goes that the men slept so peacefully that night that they decided to stay.

I have a glitch in the matrix story for @sixpenceee!

So a couple of years ago my friend and I were taking a small road trip from Tennessee to Ohio, stopping at a few sights on the way, so by the time this story takes place, we were nearing home but still about 2 hours away, and it was really late at this point, about 2 or 3 in the morning.

So, being that we were only a couple of hours away from home, we mostly knew where we were going by following the freeway signs. We had the GPS going but since it was pretty much a straight shot at this point it hadn’t needed to direct us for a while.

All of a sudden, signs start popping up that the road is closed ahead. Now, construction isn’t uncommon in Ohio, and lane closures are super common, but since this is a pretty major freeway it’s weird that it would be closed entirely. But sure enough as we keep going there’s clear signs of road construction: orange barrels, concrete barriers dividing the lanes, men working under bright lamps, all of it. Nothing seems particularly strange about any of this except that the freeway is definitely closed, and the concrete barriers pretty much force you to take the up coming exit.

So we take the exit, a little confused and annoyed, and off the freeway we have no idea where to go from there. It’s not an area we know the back roads of very well, and this exit leads to a stretch of farm road; dark and empty.

Our game plan was to just turn around, get on the freeway going to opposite direction and backtrack until we could figure out a way around the construction. Except we can’t do that, because there is a semi truck parked on the freeway entrance, facing the wrong way with his load slanting across the entire road. There’s a couple of guys standing around the truck talking, but they don’t really acknowledge us or seem to notice that we’re trying to get by. We eventually have to give up and head down the dark road instead.

The GPS isn’t really helping us now, so we turn it off and I pull up the map on my phone, guiding my friend back to the freeway. We’re both a little weirded out right now, and completely lost out here in the middle of no where. We decide our best bet would be to get back on the freeway heading towards home and ask the construction crew if they know of a detour when we get to them.

It takes about 45 minutes to get back to another entrance to the freeway, but we finally do. We get on the same freeway, going the same direction, and we’ve backtracked a bit. We read all the same signs along the way as we did before…

Except there’s no construction signs. There’s no construction equipment, or workers, not even so much as a cone. It was like all the concrete barriers and machines had been packed up and shipped out in the 45 minutes it took us to get back there.

We have no idea to this day what happened. It’s not possible for us to have gotten on a different road, and he had definitely backtracked and not somehow gone around the construction. When we tell people about it it’s met with a lot of skepticism, and maybe it was just a trick our tired brains pulled on us, but honestly that didn’t make it any less freaky at the time.

Waiting Up

Fandom: The Flash

Pairing: Cisco/Reader

Warning: None

Summary: When Cisco gets home from the lab, he’s surprised when Reader is on the couch, waiting up for him…kinda.

Pretty sure I wrote this when I was sick….unsurprisingly, posting this while I’m sick as well. It’s a theme.

Originally posted by dailycisco

           Cisco opened and the shut the door to his apartment quietly, so as not to disturb the only other occupant sleeping in the bedroom. Wearily, he bolt-locked the door and reset the alarm system (his own software, retrofitted with a panic alarm if any unknown meta-humans tried to break in) before leaning his head against the wall. It had been a long and rough week between getting back from Earth 2, Jay’s betrayal, and the random meta-humans and criminals that decided to do their dirty deeds. He was beyond tired and just wanted to curl around you and crash for several hours.

           He wondered if he could get away with staying home and taking care of you tomorrow.

           Shaking his head of the thought, he slipped his shoes off and headed towards the bedroom. He stopped when he noticed the TV was on, illuminating a quilt-covered lump on the couch. Setting his bag down on the table, he walked over and knelt in front of you.

           You were sound asleep, worn out from being sick. You had gotten a case of the sniffles and although Cisco and the team tried to talk you into going home and resting a couple of days, you were stubborn and decided to stay. It wasn’t until Harry found you throwing up in the bathroom earlier that he and Caitlin unanimously decided you needed to go home. Joe had driven you home and your boyfriend checked up on you through texts and video calling. Now, though your color was still too pale and skin still too clammy, you were better than you had been before.

           Brushing back your (H/C), his hand brushed along your cheeks and forehead; still warm, but not burning hot like before. Movement however, woke you up as you stirred and opened your eyes. “Cisco?” you slurred slightly.

           “Hey beautiful, how are you feeling?”

           “Haven’t thrown up dinner, so it’s a start,” you answered. Cisco hummed thoughtfully and brushed his lips across your forehead and nose.

           “Your mama told me she brought you some soup and you seemed to be a bit better.”

           “There’s enough for a couple more meals if you want some.” You reached out and brushed you fingers across his cool skin and full lips. Taking your hand, he pressed a kiss into your palm.

           “We’ll save it for tomorrow. I’m ready to crash in bed.” You nodded and slowly sat up. However, the sudden change in position as you tried to stand sent a wave of dizziness washing over you. If Cisco hadn’t stood quickly to catch you, you probably would’ve tipped forward onto the coffee table. As it was, you simply fell into his arms. “Easy, Princess! You okay?” he asked worriedly, steadying you as best he could with your shaky legs.

           “Did I mention I haven’t moved much since Joe brought me home and bundled me on the couch?”

           “No, you didn’t.”

           “Yeah, probably should’ve led with that.” Any other time, he would’ve laughed but he was too focused on holding you upright. Instead, he hooked your arms around his neck and lifted you easily into his arms. You closed your eyes and nestled your head into the crook of his neck; there was a strength and security in those arms that you were constantly thankful for. Cisco made you feel safe no matter what was going on with metahumans or just everyday life. Feeling his arms wrapped around you, you knew you could be vulnerable. Fighting the queasiness in your stomach, you finally submitted to the sickness overtaking your body.

           “Cisco?” you murmured as he carried you into the bedroom.

           “Yeah, Princess?”

           “I don’t feel good.” Instead of a verbal answer, his lips touched your forehead in a comforting gesture before he set you on the bed and covered you up.

           “I’ll be right back,” he murmured. You nodded and slid down further into the covers. Coming out of the cocoon on the couch, you had gotten cold (despite the warm apartment). You shivered as you burrowed deeper and listened to the sounds of your boyfriend getting into his pajamas and rummaging around the kitchen.

           Finally, he came back as you felt the bed dip on his side. “(Y/N)? You awake still?” You poked your head out in answer, greeted with the sight of Cisco shirtless and in his favorite sleep pants. He held a glass of water out to you. “Here, take these.” He handed you two nighttime Tylenol and the water, taking the glass from you when you drank down half of it.

           “It’s cold,” you murmured, burrowing back down. His eyebrows knitted together for a moment, but stayed silent as he slid under the blankets next you and turned out the light. You immediately snuggled into his side, using his shoulder as a pillow, and half asleep before he was completely settled. Wrapping his arms around you, he sighed quietly as his hand found yours and tangled your fingers together.

           “Love you, Cisco.”

           “Night, Princess. I love you too,” he whispered, finally able to relax for the first time that day and already falling asleep himself. Tomorrow, he would take the next few days to nurse you back to health. Tonight, however, he could finally relax in the one place he knew he was supposed to be: next to you.

A New Beginning

Winter Sonata Miraculous AU.

| First | Previous | Next |

~*~

Marinette spent the first part of her seven and a half hour flight to New York City stewing in guilt. Of course Nathanael had agreed to postpone their wedding. He knew she was stressed about the collaboration and everything it entailed: more publicity, more work, and months away from the only home she’d ever known. He’d even offered to come with her, help her get settled and stay until she felt more confident.

She hadn’t told him about seeing “Adrien.”

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1. We laid my great grandma to rest today. I didn’t look in the casket. They never look the same and I don’t want that to be my last memory of her.

2. I’m having a Sad Night™ in a motel room in Des Moines and only partly because of the funeral.

3. I’m trying to hold it together, but I’m so emotionally and physically drained that I can feel myself nearing my limits. I’m still 24 hours away from home and comfort. I hope I can make it.

4. I had way too much carnitas and can’t get comfortable.

5. I just want next week to be over.

Lullaby

Originally posted by jinkooks

Member: Jungkook (more like memeber ok nvrmd)

Genre: Fluff 

Word count: 4,631

Summary: Insomnia is no match for the soft lullabies of a mystery boy a few apartments away…



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1. You made me hard. You kept me running. Everyday was a carousel ride, round and round and round but never any closer to your heart. I spent hours at the fortune teller’s tent but she sealed her lips and only pointed to the kissing booth. Three years at this carnival, every other month, and yet I never came home with a prize. I’m still spinning. Somehow I blame you for the way I love with empty hands and all the doors locked. Sometimes I blame you for the way I haven’t stopped running.

2. I’m sorry your father gave you gifts you didn’t want. You were beautiful and I could see that from three thousand miles away. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to know you. I wanted to hold you in the palm of my hand. I remember staring at the screen and praying for that little green light, Gatsby style. You spoke in music. You always did. But your dreams shifted with every cycle of the moon and like the tides, they pulled you ever farther away from me. I’m sorry I left you for a lullaby I could hold.

3. I met you at the best time and at the worst time. I’m sorry for twisting the clouds in your chest into a storm and then running for shelter from the rain. Straight into the arms of someone else. You still deserve a wedding gown. You still deserve a ring. Don’t unpromise these things because of me. The softness in you is still good. I didn’t deserve to break all of this first. Please don’t be afraid to bring these beautiful things in you to light. You are made of every color and I’ll always remember how that looked. Especially after storms. You wrote me a thousand letters and I can’t recite them back to you but I kept them. Even if I couldn’t keep you. My little sparrow. My little lamb. I’m sorry I had to set you free.

4. I came to you homeless and searching. I came looking for a bandage for the wounds I gave myself. I asked you to love the darkest parts of me before I showed you any light, the broken parts when you didn’t know that I used to be whole. It’s warmer where you live but you managed to leave me out in the cold. Some things aren’t meant to be. You said it’ll be okay someday and I hope it will be, with him. I hope you’re doing well. I still hope you’re doing well.

5. I haven’t left you yet. But I will. It is tattooed on the back of my neck where someone else kissed me for the first and last time. All the fingerprints they left make it so hard to hold you. Please don’t tear up your skin looking for answers. Eighteen years and I’m still dizzy. I’m sorry I’ll leave you spinning too, the taste of cotton candy and licorice and gravel. Always burning. In the back of your throat.

In the back of your mind.

—  Ode to the girls you have left. Elizabeth McNamara

I have to go into the office tomorrow and I have nobody to pick M up from school. If I need to I could leave early to get her, but because of how far away it is I’d only be in the office for 3 hours. But on Thurs I have an afternoon meeting there I can’t miss. I think I may have to keep M home from school Thurs (after she just missed 3 days last week for stomach virus) and bring her to the meeting with me. It’s 1-2pm an hour and a half from the city, and there’s no way I could get back to pick her up from school at 2:45. I’d normally ask a friend if her babysitter could pick M up with her son, but her sitter is on vacation and she’s scrambling with her own kids’ childcare. My friend with a flexible work schedule I can’t ask because she recently picked M up twice for me and M had meltdowns that I wasn’t there. My sahm friend would do it but her daughter’s pickup is at the same time in a different neighborhood.

One sitter I know is out of town and the other got a FT nanny job. A’s mom is on vacation with her other grandkids. My mom won’t respond to me because she’s an insane hoarder and the judge in their divorce case said my dad can stop paying for her massive storage unit, that if she wants to keep the broken swing sets and moldy baby clothes she needs to pay for it out of her half of the money (she gets a lot of money every month but claims to be destitute, because she lives in a very pricey rental, which of course is filled with boxes, and because she takes all her money out of the bank and hides the cash in random places and forgets where she put it), so now her junk is being auctioned off and she somehow blames me for this.

I can’t ask my sister, because she’s helping me Fri when I go to other city to tour daycare and look at houses. My train is very early Fri AM so we’re sleeping at her house Thurs, she’ll take M to school Fri and pick her up for me. In some ways life in other city will be harder but it will also be much easier to have a set schedule and set childcare instead of constantly scrambling in a panic.

This post is for anyone with a vagina that has been in this situation:
My period just started and I have no pads on me. I cannot use tampons. There was no helpful machine when I got into the bathroom which held pads. I’m 40 minutes away from home and can’t go back until my classes are done at 2. I cannot go in between classes because they’re only an hour apart. What do I do.

Stressed

I’m leaning more towards wanting to be a stay at home mom. Work is stressing me all the way out, my sitter for my daughter is constantly getting her to school late, I never have real time to do anything with her when I do get off work, I work 45+ minutes away from home (+ because depending on the time I get off work I could be sitting in traffic for damn near 2 hours) and it would be pointless after this baby comes to shell out 800 a month in childcare. That’s one paycheck for 2 weeks.

I keep trying to find alternatives for college. Online preferably, but in terms of using my GI Bill, I would only get $805 a month if I were doing it all online. If I could find somewhere close that offers hybrid classes, that would Bump the pay to over 2k a month just for going.

The problem I’m seeming to run into is my husbands feelings on this. He doesn’t agree with the idea of me not working for some reason, and I don’t agree with the idea of simply having babies to have someone else raise them while I work. For what? To come home stressed as fuck every day, not being able to spend actual quality time with them because when I get home it’s fucking bed time. I miss out on so much that involves my daughter because of work.

Don’t get me wrong, the whole not working thing wouldn’t be forever, just while they’re so small. I don’t want to miss out on my kids growing up and then regret it later.

       But my dreams they aren’t as empty
             As my conscience seems to be
                  I have hours, only lonely
                         My love is vengeance that’s never free

☪ Independent RP/Ask blog for Ienzo/Zexion from Kingdom Hearts

☪ Highly Selective of OC’s

☪ Multiship/Multiverse

☪ Open to AU, Canon and Plots!

☪ Mun is 18+

                ☪ Home           ☪ Rules           ☪ Bio           ☪ Ask

I fucking hate this. I hate living alone and I hate that my parents are trying to sell this house. There was a home showing from 3-5 so I couldn’t even fucking go home after school and I don’t drive and all of my friends are working and all of my family is 3 hours away and I’m only 17 so I wandered around town after school for 2 hours and at 5:10 I went home and they’re still fucking here. The house ain’t that big. You don’t need two fucking hours to look around my house. I have homework. I need dinner. It’s now 5:20 and they’re still here and doesn’t sound like they’re leaving any fucking time soon I hate having to keep my house clean and make it look like no ones living here and having to do homework, cook dinner, do dishes and keep everything 110% clean so fucking much and I’m always alone. Besides school, I’m constantly alone. I fucking hate this I just want these people to leave

Long Distance (2) Masterlist

part one

Can You Save My Bastard Soul? (ao3) - Jaxxxx

Summary: Dan is suicidal, but Phil lives hours away. They can only call, text, and Skype, so how can Phil stop Dan from doing what he craves?

Distance - cactuslester

Summary: 2012 was a failing long-distance relationship.

First Meeting - redmeetingwhite

Summary: A quick drabble-like fic about phan cuddles when they meet for the first time.

Home - lesterpeach

Summary: Dan had never been good at long distance. The traveling back and forth, the countless days that the two didn’t get to see each other. But the one thing that Dan hated the most about it, was leaving his home.

Long Distance - insanityplaysfics

Summary: Phil’s gotten into his top choice school, York University, and Dan’s the first person he calls to tell the news. Dan wishes he could be happy for him, but all he can think about is how they’re going to survive in a long distance relationship.

Ring Phil - camisadan

Summary: fem!Dan gets upset and she calls fem!Phil who does more than enough to make her feel better.

Schwingungen in der Brust - theurgelester

Summary: It had been the day Phil was leaving for Florida with his family- the morning to be exact. Dan was used to the week alone. He never really functioned well, but he got through it- lost pounds, hungry headaches and all. This week was no different.But the last day was.

Some Of Our Stars Are The Same - oopsiwritefanficdonttellmum

Summary: Phil is far away and Dan falls asleep alone.

This is Arya.

My second fur-child. Born feral on the streets of Beirut she was near death when we heard her cries from our 4th floor terrace and went in search. On the side of a busy highway sat the tiniest, dirty kitten. We thought it would be easy to coax her over to us. But Arya had other ideas. She ran from car to car parked along the highway and hid in each engine after another. Chasing her further away from our home we were really unsure what was best to do until we passed people sitting on their first floor balcony. Nosey to know what the couple was doing crawling under cars they told us to leave the kitten, that she has been there for days and would soon be dead.

With that in mind we went home.

Got food supplies, a towel and returned more determined than ever that we would save this kitten. It took 2 hours more and I only caught her by sheer luck in the end but as soon as my husband wrapped the towel around her she fell into a deep sleep. We brought her home and put her in the cat carrier with a teddy bear, water and food. The next morning she hadn’t eaten anything and my, could she hiss. My husband called in sick, got kitten milk and a bottle and gently wrapped her like a burrito and fed her warm bottled milk. By the time I got home from work that day she was already his shadow, but still hissing at me.

We named her Arya because of her wild ways. There is no place, cupboard, shelf, curtain, door-top or ledge in our apartment that she cannot and has not reached, crept into or swung from. She is the true boss of our house and though the smallest she packs a lot of attitude. From day one she chased Arthur’s tail, stole his food, slept on top of him, and annoyed as he got with her at times he never stopped her. They are inseparable now.

Arya doesn’t like strangers much, when the doorbell rings she dashes into her favourite hiding place: the shoe closet and borrows behind human Daddy’s boots. She has a general disgusted look most of the time and has definitely mastered “resting bitch face”, but she loves her cuddles, most of all with her Daddy and cries at you if you don’t give them to her when she wants them. One of her favourite activities is being held and cuddled by her Daddy as he walks around the apartment letting her smell everything high up from his arms. She is the fastest, most agile cat I have ever seen run and jump, and though she gets the largest portion of wet food she still steals Arthur’s to this day. Arya has always crossed her paws since she was a kitten and still does. She doesn’t know how cute she looks. She doesn’t care about cute. Arya has a thing about closed doors, she hates them. If you go to the toilet or try to work out in the spare room with a closed door she sits outside yelling and scratching at the door. How dare you shut her out! She is also OCD about cleaning and has no problem licking your arm on the same spot for 10 minutes.

Her wild streak is always there and when she knows she is about to be put in the cat carrier she will put up a fight. My husband and I both have scars on our arms and hands to show. We have had to learn how to deal with her stress, keep her calm and handle her when she is most frightened. I think we have gotten a lot better over time, so that trips to the vet are relatively blood free now.

Here it is finally. It took me ages, but I finished it! Hope you like It!
Thanks to @javistg to review it and make it readable for all so you!


CHAPTER 2

I get home as fast as I can because there is no time to waste. I take my father’s plant book and lock myself in our room (Prim’s and mine). After two hours of research, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Good news is I have all the information to make a painting box for Peeta… Bad news is that it is going to take a lot of time, and the contest submission is only four weeks away. I need help, desperately, but who from? Suddenly, the answer comes into the room

“What are you doing here the whole afternoon?” she says rolling her eyes. “I swear you don’t seem yourself this last week”

“I need help,” I blurt out before I can think twice.

Prim closes the door slowly, a grave expression all over her teenage face and sits by me on our bed.

”What’s wrong, Katniss?”

“I owe someone my life. All our lives: mum’s, yours and mine…”

And I explain everything to her: the hunger, the hopelessness, the fear, the rain, the bread.. And Peeta. I tell her about Peeta’s compassion and how he got a beating for me. Then I talk to her about the current situation and my idea to help him.

“So…” I finish my story.

“I wish you would ask for help more often, Katniss. You don’t have to be the only one who is strong in this family anymore. I know you want to protect me, but so do I… And of course I’ll help you. When do we start with your plan?”

Keep Reading AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6439114/chapters/15906121

Why Vision is Amazing (Also titled “The Differences between Comic!Vision and MCU!Vision and what they mean for the future of the Character”)

After seeing Avengers: Age of Ultron Thursday night with 2 of my nerd friends, I came away completely enthralled by Vision. I had waited for him with baited breath through all the trailers and the promotional material, and though we only had our tall red avenger for the last third of the movie, I was captivated by how he was set up, and so I present to you, a mere 24 hours from getting home from the theater, a 4 PAGE ESSAY ON THE VISION. Please enjoy.

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So last night, I wasn’t able to fall asleep. At all. The entire night. It is 6:30am and I am still in wide awake, having never been able to shut my mind enough to actually get to bed. And here is what I have figured out, having been awake for 21 hours:

1) When you get older, you will constantly think “I want to go home.” But there isn’t a place that is home anymore. Is it your childhood bedroom? Is it your dorm room? Is it your apartment? Which set of people is home? Fuck if I know.

2) You will never see your parents the same. Now that you’re away from them and only speak to them occasionally, they seem weaker and exhausted and more flawed than they were when you were living with them. They probably seem that way to each other as well. When they have less power over you, they somehow seem more human in a way you never necessarily wanted to see.

3) The things you do or say probably won’t ever be good enough for your family, because they want to believe they’re right, and they want to believe that there’s something fundamentally wrong with your choices. The way you look, your major, your political opinions, how often you smile down at your phone. If you were the baby, they will always baby you. If you were one thing as a child, you will never escape that thing. In family, people don’t change, they just add in newer, more annoying traits.

4) Being alone is terrifying, but I think it’s an inevitability. I am probably second choice to everyone who I love the most. The most terrifying thing is being aware that someone is your first choice and seeing, right before your eyes, them choose someone else over you. Them caring about someone more than you. And who you are is so intrinsically bound to you that you can’t even change for them, even if you want to.

Sometimes I can feel the wanting settle into my bones and lay down there. Which is how I know that if the state of “not alone” ever happens to me, it won’t be soon. I’m going to be afraid for such a long time, maybe forever, which, ironically, is scary in itself.

5) “Good enough” is a picture you draw up in your head without doing it on purpose. It’s a collage of magazine pictures and people’s negative, infected scraps of wisdom that weren’t supposed to take root in your mind but lodge themselves firmly in there anyways. Good enough is probably attainable, at least in some respect, but that would require you making an effort in areas that are big and uncharted and don’t feel as safe as they once did. Good enough is the gap between your teeth going away, a concrete idea for a career, people in your life who want to show you things you’ve always been too scared or too ugly or too inhibited to show yourself.

If there is such a person for me out there, we probably missed each other because we were too busy looking at our phones.

6) All of this piles and adds on until it compresses against you, stifling you, and there’s nothing you can do but let the fear grow because it’s paralyzing. You only have control over your actions. You can’t change other people. Their stuff, and your stuff, and other stuff too, all just adds up on top of you until you cannot see over the pile of stuff. You certainly can’t breathe with it on top of you. And there isn’t an end in sight, not really, because all of this just… Is. Always has been, but then it grows. And piles. Bigger. Higher. All the way out of sight.

7) If you can’t go home, maybe you can go back.

But even if you could go back, you’re not really sure where it would be safe to go anymore. When did it start? When did it shatter? When was the last time you didn’t feel like you were broken?

Shit That Happened Freshman Year of College

I keep forgetting to post this, so here it is, my list of weird stuff from my first year at college, about six weeks late.

  • that kid who longboarded past me at like 7pm in a powdered wig (like, full-on George Washington style)
  • “Do you think Texas Roadhouse is open this early?” overheard in the dining hall at 8:30am
  • apple juice is second only to coffee in the hierarchy of drinks in the dining hall bc the orange juice tastes like shit
  • fire drill at 9pm the week before finals with 2 inches of snow outside and i was unable to put my shoes on in time, all because some asshole set off the alarm while smoking a joint
  • an impossible amount of guitar picks in improbable places throughout the first semester, including in my sock drawer at home, 4 hours away from my school
  • that time my roommate thought i had a GIANT container of cocaine but it was just lemonade mix (pretty sure she was three seconds from calling the cops on me)
  • that time the roommate’s boyfriend went back to his room after spending the night in our room and found half of his hall barricaded in his room bc one of the others had found a BB gun the night before and was without mercy
  • actually just anything involving The Bastards of A Wing (you’re welcome to ask for more specific stories, there’s a lot of them)
  • this conversation i had with a violinist
    • “You know, I’ve done the math, and I’m pretty sure that if i get hired by a strip club in Denver, I could probably make back my tuition twice over before the semester is finished.”
    • “That’s nearly a five hour drive one way, though.”
    • “Yeah, but the only other town big enough to have a semi-classy strip club is Salt Lake City, and I don’t think Mormons really go for that kind of thing.”
  • using face paint to do a very quick FAHC!Ryan cosplay for Halloween and accidentally making a little girl cry
  • the time i came back to my room, fully aware that my roommate and her boyfriend had had sex earlier, and when I walked in she gave me a shit-eating grin and said “guess who got something sticky all over the ceiling?” I almost turned around and left without another word, intending on spending the night in the library or something, but then he yells “I DROPPED MY SODA AND IT EXPLODED SHE’S TAKING IT OUT OF CONTEXT”
  • “Quantum Physics and Accounting are the only classes where you’ll truly get your mind blown.” some guy in my accounting 201 class
  • “Oh, by the way, Wyatt broke his phone on his nipple last night.” The next ten minutes were spent curled up on the floor in helpless laughter.
  • #musicmajors
    • “I bet i could pick you up.”
    • “Yeah, but can you pick up my tuba at the same time?”
  • the orchestra director doing Ricky Ricardo impressions when he got annoyed with the orchestra and we “made his Spanish come out”
  • this conversation I had with my friend in the middle of a restaurant
    • “Hey, do you like Nipplese food?”
    • “… do you mean Nepalese?”
    • “… oh. Yeah.”
  • [muffled Mexican rap music]
  • “I’m just a chocolate seller in Ireland! I don’t know how the Indian market works!” my marketing professor in an example i no longer remember the context of
  • that time someone yelled “do a barrel roll!” at a guy riding his bike down stone steps
  • [in heavy country accents] overheard while walking past the science building
    • “Pull that pin, Josh!”
    • “I did, gosh!”
    • “Alright, well, not good enough.”
  • the fucking school-approved stampede of actual cattle through the middle of campus on a Thursday morning
  • “[gentle gasp] The Property Brothers!” overheard in line in the dining hall, when they weren’t even playing on any of the TVs around?
  • [muffled shouting from the class next door] “NO, NO, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE HORSE INDUSTRY!”
  • overheard while walking to breakfast on a Friday morning
    • “Wow, you guys are up early.”
    • “We didn’t sleep.”
    • “Hey, same!”
  • that theater teacher who wore a kilt every day regardless of weather or wind speed
  • overheard between two extremely buff dudes while walking to class
    • “This is a Mighty Ducks jersey, man! It might be the most valuable thing in my closet!”
    • Might be? Motherfucker, it is!”
  • old lady ghost erotica
  • sheep on the quad. Why is there so much livestock on this campus?
  • “If you’re wearing a bandana, you’re at risk of being shot with a water gun.” overheard while entering the English building on a Tuesday morning
  • “Yeah, well, we don’t have a time machine to go back and see what happened, okay? The fact of the matter is, the Vietnamese kicked our collective asses.” overheard while waiting in line at the dining hall

honestly there was a lot more but I just didn’t write down some and this list is long enough already

8

A friend (Jacob) of my older 2 sons (Allen and Artemas) is moving into Allen’s apartment 2nd bedroom. Last Fall my ex moved out of there and left a mess. Then Allen moved in and made more mess. Then he would hang around at our house constantly (because he was lonely and didn’t have a TV), so he’d end up only going home to get different clothes. 

Top pair: living room left
2nd pair: living room right
3rd pair: kitchen left
4th pair: kitchen right 

Half of the clothes piled up are from the Marine Corps that he just got out of. I went through over 2 years worth of mail (not even kidding). He must have brought some of it with him from his last apartment. We didn’t scrub anything (kitchen floors, dishes, etc) - that’s gonna have to be for another day. 

This took 5 of us 2 hours to do. We hauled away an entire Dodge Ram pickup truck bed full of trash bags and junk, topped with a broken sofa.

Newcastle is only 116 miles away from Bradford.  2 hours in a car. 

Perhaps Liam and Zayn have been kipping over at Tricia and Yaser’s.Lots of home cooked food.   Lots of laughs.  Lots of pictures.   Lots of playing on those board things the girls have been promoting.  Lots of falling over. Its my head canon and am sticking with it until someone comes up with proper fact that blows its out the water okay.