only thing making me happy rn

everyday I’m growing and I know I’m not perfect by any means at all whatsoever but man I am realizing I am good and I am love and I love myself. I think that’s by far my greatest achievement in life and the only thing is I don’t know why I started off not loving myself in the first place? there is love in my life everyday and with every interaction I have and I am so blessed and thankful. each day I want to make a conscious effort to be better and do good and to love more. I’m happy. I’m happy being me and loving me and being by myself rn. for the first time in a while I’m not really getting kisses or anything but I have never felt so much genuine love in my life than this period that I’m living in.

I just saw the billboard bangtan bomb and I’m emo all over again avsjsvdagjdhs

Joon was so nervous and stressed every time he was off the interview cameras and he looked like he was about to cry after they won. It’s amazing how much he has to hold back since they were being interviewed like every five minutes and it was his responsibility to carry them until the end. He literally had no time to process anything in between and it made me sad that he said sorry for not speaking well enough when he actually did it so flawlessly uGHGHGHGG. I hope he had a good cry w the members behind closed doors ahhhh :’-(

ALSO I LOVE HOW SUPPORTIVE HOBI WAS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING??? He saw how nervous joon was so he tried to keep the spirits up the best he could and kept complimenting and encouraging him and im just cluTCHES CHEST I love 94line sm ughGHGH

Again.

I’m I’m going to take a break. I’m so sorry. I know I’m being a jerk I’m so sorry.

But I need a clean break. For a little bit. I feel like I can’t breathe and I need idk. At least for a little bit.

Seriously like I’m such a baby I’ll probably only be gone for a few days. Week at the max.

I know a week is like years for here but like I do need this break.

Last time I still checked my blog every now and then.

This time I’m completely off. I’m sorry. Like I apologize so much. So much but I need to do this for myself.

anonymous asked:

hi hi could you do some angst of mc breaking up with them? how would they react, would they try to get her back, that things... Thank you!

Hiii
I freaking love angst and was so happy with this request! But I’m only doing the breakup rn to make it hit your feels lmao
I decided to go all out. But got too excited and wanted to post it right away so Yoosung and Sevens will come later today or tomorrow. But if you like this part and also want me to write Saeran or V let me know!

The breakup part 1

Jumin
- He thought it he had it all. even though he thought it would never happen it did. Finally he was happy. the company was doing great and he had an amazing wife. He was trying to become more social, more human and thats all because of her. He just wanted to do everything with her. Go on dates, take her to parties, going on holidays. But lately things changed. He didn’t understand why nothing happened. They’ve never even fought before. He came home from work it was a late night so suspected that she was already asleep. All the lights were off and it was so silent, he could feel himself getting tense. He walked into the bedroom and noticed she wasn’t there. In fact all her belongings were gone as well. Except a letter that was laying on the bed. “Jumin, I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly but this has been bothering me for a while now and I couldn’t take it anymore. You can’t expect me to just sit inside all day waiting for you to come home, only leaving the house when you’re with me. I’m not a pet Jumin! I’ve tried to make this clear to you many times but you don’t get it and I’m done. Don’t try to call me, text me or even track me because I won’t come back. You should’ve listened to me - MC” He couldn’t breath. This couldnt be happening his princess couldn’t be gone. He wanted to call his guards screaming how they could’ve let her walk out of the building. But his legs wouldn’t move a muscle. All the saliva in his mouth was gone unable to speak. If she didn’t want him to contact her then that’s what he’ll do. He decided to finally listen to her.

Zen
- It was fun at the beginning. Zen was a classical gentleman. He’d do everything for you. Honestly everyone would be jealous of this relationship you had. But when he got a new role things changed. He didn’t pay as much attention to you as he used to. I mean you didn’t really mind since you’ve always been very supportive and you totally understood that you weren’t his top priority right now. But there came more nights where you had to eat dinner alone even though he said he’d be home. Or nights where you had to go to sleep alone. There were even nights where you didn’t even see him in the mornings. He also didn’t call or text at all only to say that he wouldn’t make it so that you should go to sleep. One day you forgot to buy groceries so even though it was already late you went anyway. You passed a bar when you suddenly heard laughter you recognized right away. You walked in and yes there he was, sitting at the bar with some female colleagues. “ hey isn’t that your gf Zen?” He slowly looked turned around to see you standing in the doorway with tears in your eyes. You could see that he had some drinks. He sighed, “ yeah what a burden” and continued the conversation. You stomped out, called a friend and went ‘home’ to grab your belongings. You were gone and sure as hell weren’t coming back.

You Make Me Begin (I'm me) ouranguish

Summary:

Jeon Jeongguk is a man that has everything. But there is one thing that he could never get, and that is ‘acceptance’. He is tired, he is disgusted, he is sick of the nightmare-masquerade that he can’t escape, and his psychiatrist, Kim Taehyung, may be his only hope of saving himself.

Relationship: Jungkook/Taehyung

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, Pining, Depression

READ

I am so in love with this you have absolutely NO idea how happy this stupid drawing makes me right now. I have been grinning the entire time! This will probably be the only thing I post for the next few days; I know I’m not going to do anything tomorrow because it’s truck day and then I need to start finalizing my costume. But ugh, these nerds are killing me rn! Based on my text post here http://blackwolfartz.tumblr.com/post/146421373999/if-its-worth-anything-i-have-thought-about-atem Let’s all also appreciate Pouty!Atem lol

literally the only thing that has made me slightly happy this past weekend was reading The Answer book someone bought for me for my birthday and even then that only lasted for like 5 minutes before I felt like rotting again. I remember wanting that book so bad when it first came out a long time ago and now that I finally have it in my posession I still feel so. empty. really terrible rn actually. I thought I would at least read it more than once before immediately going right back to being the depressive loser I usually am. Does that make me an ungrateful piece of shit because I sure do feel like one

anonymous asked:

"Now, now... do you honestly think that i can forgive such thing? If you wanted to play around with the King, you need only ask. I would ne happy to share you until you are properly broken."

“Don’t make me repeat myself. Even if it’s for my liege, I’m forced to share my time and my life for him. For you, however I am selfish. You’ll indulge me with that much, won’t you?.” He slowly takes off his driving gloves and places them to the side table. He smirks and leans against the counter, watching your every move. “So, where do your loyalties lie? The rest of your night will be determined by your answer…”

External image

I G G Y, P L Z… holy CHRIST IN HEAVEN

HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME PANICKED AND UNCONTROLLABLY AROUSED AT THE SAME TIME THIS ISN’T ANYWHERE NEAR FAIR

IT’S JUST ONE DAY, ONE DAY IGNIS

*wrings hands*

Ignis hell is still eternal, you know. IT IS!!!111ELEVENTYTWO and even though King Daddy’s pull is strong… *deep breath, winces* you know who I go to at the end of the day, right? LOOK YOU OWN MY SOUL SO I CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT THIS

anonymous asked:

Please don't kill yourself. Some people might say/do really bad things, but think about friends, teachers, anything that makes you happy because you matter to a lot of people.

Trust me buddy the only reason I am alive rn is because of my friends.
I can’t shoot myself for as much as I want to, I have to help everyone be happy and feel safe, more in this rough days.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to kms tho

#suicide tw

10

151015 Happy Birthday, Lee Donghae!! My favourite person, my idol, my ultimate bias, my first love, my sunshine… you have ruined my life in more ways than one. But if I ever had the choice between knowing you and not knowing you at all, I would easily let you ruin me to my death. Thank you for being my source of happiness and making me smile even when I’m at my lowest. I wish “Happy Birthday” was the only thing I have to say today, but sadly it isn’t. It’s not a goodbye but a see you later, and I really will, because there is no way in hell you could get rid of me that easily! Do well, stay healthy. I’ll be here when you come back♥♥

//i’m really angry/upset bc of the crowley 2.0 news. idek if it’s true but the sad thing is that after everything + gag reel it’s not surprising at all and i fully believe it before checking out where that dabb interview is from. we all know what dabb is capable of. *sigh* i’ll be working on my blogs, blog stuffs make me happy. :) crowley is my only main blog without a new theme rn, tho i still don’t know what to do. XD got some stuff to do over on @codexargentum tho and add some verses on @shyplayfulkitsune & @gaveheavenasecondchance. <3

anonymous asked:

46, 55, 61, 63, 65, 74, 85, 126 !!

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

i don’t have one rn, thank god !

55: When did you feel happiest?

when i go out with my mom, tbh. or even when we just stay in and watch a movie. it’s lame, but hanging out & having fun with my mom is the only thing that makes me happy at this point klsjsakl

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

it depends ? i try to b patient & not unfollow ppl but like if u stan riverdale/cole sprouse or something that i unfortunately see a lot is like anons asking someone to tag nsfw images or trigger warning shit & the person is like ‘lol its just nips fuck u’ that… is so damn rude i’ll straight up block ppl slkjsklsj 

63: Favorite kind of person:

ppl that are genuinely interested in talking to me ? and like it’s easy to tell when someone rlly cares abt what you’re saying & if u do that to me 10/10 imma fall in love.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

this was real hard to get it to just three ? imma say @iridcscent, @yikesrpz & @lightwccds but i could literally make a huge ass follow forever bc so many of my mutuals r my favorite blogs. 

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

uhhh idk ? the first thing that comes to mind is that i love tattoos so much and they been my Thing since i was 13 but that’s probably just because i’m getting a new tattoo tomorrow so it’s all i can think about ? it’s not interesting tho um lemme think of something else. i really want to be a filmmaker ? i want to be able to write screenplays with decent female characters & people of color that are more than just filling in a role & i have so damn many ideas for lgbt+ storylines and tbh that’s probably why i love writing rp group plots ? bc 9/10 times i pretty much take the idea from a screenplay i wanna write and make it into a plot.

85: How many followers do you have?

i’m at 1070 rn so *wink wink* tell ya friends abt me & help me raise that number,

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

the word problematic. it gets thrown around SO FUCKING MUCH & it just generalizes really bad situations and make all shitty behavior feel the same & i keep seeing 13 year olds on this hellsite compare child molesters to someone that wore a bindi once and like…. yeah they both did something bad but you can’t fucking compare ruining a child’s life to someone being insensitive & honestly we r not going to grow as a community and be all Woke if y’all don’t stop thinking about the world as black & white.

SEND ME A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 170 !