only shadows follow me

  • Me: I don't mean to brag, but I'm a pretty hardcore gamer
  • Me: *pulls out 18 Nancy Drew game disks*

I fall in love often, as often as my heart makes more room for all the pain that is followed after every goodbye. I am yet to learn the language of no for all those days when words are the only shadow that follow me when love turns away. I make spaces between my breaths for every new person I love and that’s how I have known why home has a heart and a pair of arms. I draft a new poem for every time when moon denies to sing the lullaby of forevers and I am yet to finalize every breath I am supposed to take without you by my side. I am painting pictures of all your unsaid words hoping some day you would drop by with a new promise of tomorrow void of your farewell. Even though the library of our love never promised perfect yesterday I still try to convince the loneliness about the beauty of everything that never happened. I peel down reality of us with a new page that envelops you in the endless serenade of my may be and someday I would still catch you on the horizon of every world we could ever exist. And even though this poem is still one more empty excuse of you and us, I would happily write forever if it brings you on this page for even a moment.

Bedtime Balance - Dui/Shadow Dui Fanfic

I’m pretty sure most of the inspiration for this came from the fact it’s about 2am here and I need a cuddle buddy. This is the askbox-vote fic that I posted about earlier.

It was some time late at night (or more like early morning) that Veronica made found the bed that she had shared with Dui quite… cold. Still half asleep, she patted the spot next to her only to find the sheets empty. This was unusual to her and she suddenly felt that something was wrong. Typically, Dui spent the whole night with her, especially when it was his bed. 

She sat up from the bed and rubbed her tired eyes before looking around the room. Although it was very dim, she noticed that the room was empty and decided to venture downstairs. Tip-toeing quietly, she reached the final step of the grand staircase when her mouth was covered and embraced from behind. Instantly Veronica screamed and stomped on the foot of her perpetrator.

“Dammit, woman!” a familiar dark voice grunted, and instantly let go of her. 

Veronica turned around quickly with fury in her eyes, only to have it turn around into concern moments later when she realized who it was. 

“Dui?!” she asked, covering her mouth and knowing that she was going to be in big trouble. 

“I come down here for twenty minutes and you follow after only to beat me?” shadow Dui growled, crossing his arms and looking down at her. 

“I-I’m sorry…” 

“You forget that Gods are incapable of sleeping. You don’t need to preoccupy our time all of the time, I have a life too!” he explains, talking about Shadow Dui. 

“Well usually Dui doesn’t have a problem staying the entire night with me so I got concerned and-” she tries to explain.

“Hahahaha, you’re so selfish. Why would I hold you for so many hours if there was nothing in it for me?” he cackles, his words piercing through her heart. 

There hadn’t been a problem with the whole Dui/Shadow Dui switching in months, why was it now that he was acting this way? What brought this side out of him? Aside from that, his words still made her heart ache. He did have a valid point…. maybe she had been too selfish when it came to bedtime. An overwhelming sensation of guilt came over her, and on top of her lack of good nights rest, her emotions got the best of her and a tear ran down her cheek.

“Hey… lift your head up,” he requested and she followed “ Are you actually crying right now?” 

The glint in his eye was cold but there was still a frown cracking against the twisted smile he had on his face. 

“I-I don’t mean to… I apologize to ask so much of you. I’ll j-just go back to bed now..” she said quietly, still refusing to look him in the eye. 

Veronica turned quickly and made her way back up the stairs. From behind her she heard shadow Dui’s quiet chuckling at her pain. Usually she didn’t let his attitude get to her so much but considering she hadn’t really dealt with it in a while, Veronica felt overwhelmed and unsure how to react. She felt embarrassed that she had asked so much of him, of course he had better things to do with his time.

After she crawled back into bed, she turned on her side and hugged the nearest pillow. She waited… and tossed… and turned… but there was still no luck. Something about not having his presence there made it impossible to sleep, no matter how exhausted she was. She was fine sleeping without him before they became serious, so what was the deal? Veronica sighed and closed her eyes tightly once more. 

As she was close to drifting off, there was a weight that pressed on the sheets beside her. Long, comforting fingers ran through her soft hair and she took in a breath. 

“Hey…” Dui’s soft voice called out to her, a small smile on his lips. 

Veronica groaned in response. 

“Please look at me..”

She turned towards him but her eyes remained closed. Suddenly, she was picked up with force and held in Dui’s lap.

“Are you really pouting right now?” shadow Dui’s mocking voice teased. 


Shadow Dui groaned and lifted his hand to caress her cheek, “You know that… Dui.. really loves you, right?”

“I know….” she said quietly, burying her face in his neck.

“So.. there’s no need to act this way. I just took a break to catch up on some paperwork I didn’t turn in. I planned on coming back up here to lay with you after.” shadow Dui explained, sounding frustrated. 

A smirk instantly shown on Veronica’s face as she looked up at him.

You planned on coming back to cuddle?” she asked, knowing all too well what she was asking shadow Dui.

“Of cour- I mean… that other guy did. No way I’d be futile enough to cuddle.” he said the word ‘cuddle’ like it was the most disgusting thing to lay on his tongue. 

“Mmmmhmmm…” Veronica moaned and placed a small kiss on his neck, which was his weak spot. Dui seemed to slowly fade back into normal once a few more soft kisses took place. Gently, Dui layed her back down and held himself over her. The look in her eyes was enough to make him melt to her will. 

“So, are you still tired?” he asked playfully. 

“Hmm. It depends if you have more business to attend to..” she trailed off, while simultaneously trailing a finger slowly down his chest and reaching for the first button. 

Dui’s eyes darkened once again, “I would say we have much more gratifying things to attend to at the moment.” shadow Dui chuckled and pressed his cooled lips firmly to hers.