only one man for the job

You guys know what Kai is?! A sweet man who lost his parents with no explanation, causing him to have to raise his little sister by himself. And you know what? He did a damn good job! Of course Nya has her flaws but let’s not forget that she was raised by her older brother, older brother who may only be one or two years apart!

Kai is a sweet man who in the first episode- Was concerned about training in a monastery because it was a place of peace.

Kai is a lovely man who simply uses his ego as a coping mechanism of some sort, it’s not healthy, yes, but he has been trained that if he doesn’t act that way, no one will give him the time of day!

Kai has layers, he’s not a 2d angry character:tm:

Kai isn’t stupid, he was the one to figure out that Lloyd was the green ninja, even though he was dead set on taking up the role. He pushed aside his pride and became a guardian.

Kai is wise beyond his years, which has been shown multiple times.

 I know Kai isn’t a fan favorite, and that’s probably because most people don’t look so deep into characters like I do rip, but Kai is honestly an amazing character and if I didn’t have self control I could type about him for much longer.

HOW YOUR SUICIDE WILL AFFECT OTHERS.

When I was 16 I swallowed 3 bottles of extra strength pills in my school bathroom because I simply didn’t want to live anymore and I was tired, just so very tired. I couldn’t walk down the halls without being stared at and talked about because the school football team posted things about me online and eventually the rest of the bystanders joined in the harassment. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, I’m here to talk about how the aftermath of your suicide will affect others in a way that you would never understand. Because you thought no one cared, but they did. So, here’s my story.
 I will never forget the look on my parents faces when they had to sit back and watch their little girl almost die from uncontrollable seizures. They had tear stained eyes and puffy cheeks. But what fucks me up the most was seeing my dad cry. I’ve only ever seen my dad cry twice. The first time was at his mothers funeral, and the second time was when I tried to end my life.
One of the responding fire fighters was a coach from one of my sport teams. And for a fearless man who ran into burning homes as a job, he couldn’t move from the corner of the room because the successful athlete he watched grow up was dying in front of his eyes.
My 2 best friends experienced the hardest part. They were the ones who found my limp unconscious body slouched up against the bathroom stall. They were the ones who had to be physically torn from my side because they didn’t want to let go of my hand. And to this day, they still have nightmares about that morning like it was yesterday.
A girl from my school who had also tried to take her own life earlier in the year showed up at hospital bed and gave me the biggest hug. She cried as she tried to explain how great life is, that image is still stuck in my head.

You see, it’s not about how many people will give a shit if you die. It’s about the ones who would, and how bad it would fuck them up for the rest of their lives. People care, and they always will. Suicide isn’t the cure to sadness. 

duckswearhats  asked:

Hi, I read that you've dealt with with impostor syndrome in the past, and I'm really struggling with that right now. I'm in a good place and my friends are going through a lot, and I'm struggling to justify my success to myself when such amazing people are unhappy. I was wondering if you have any tips to feel less like this and maybe be kinder to myself, but without hurting anyone around me. It's a big ask, I know, but any help would make my life a lot less stressful

The best help I can offer is to point you to Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She talks about Imposter Syndrome (and interviews me in it) and offers helpful insight.

The second best help might be in the form of an anecdote. Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.

(There’s a wonderful photograph of the Three Neils even if one of us was a Neal at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/08/neil-armstrong.html)

God, I just feel like a proud mom right now!!! Jack did not one, but two tours this year!! One on his own and one with the Grumps!! I know I just said it but seriously dude, congratulations on the success of both shows!!! You all pulled off incredible shows that people will remember for a long time!!! It’s only gonna go up from here, man!!! Great job, dude!!!

This property is HOA-Free.

This is a long one, because it involves a growing escalation of actions. TLDR at the bottom. Some terms are translated because I don’t live in an English-speaking country.

We moved houses last year, to the ugliest in the street. The previous owners must have loved Mondriaan, because the front was red/blue/yellow in windowframes and door. One paintjob, many thankful neighbors and several months later, I get an invitation to a voluntary “Collective of inhabitants”, the terms read like an opt-in HOA that you can never leave. A long list of restrictions, and no benefits? No thanks.

Keep reading

1,500 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

This is absolutely insane I am just blown away that this many people follow me and my weirdness…


Storms and Visitors
Sirius Black x Reader
by @notanotherausten
“Regulus invites you at his house to stay for the night until the storm stops but Sirius has other plans.”

Strip
Sirius Black x Reader
by @blueelf
“You agree to help Sirius study for his OWL’s, however what you failed to realize that tutoring the marauder was like babysitting. After various failed attempts, you finally find a way to keep Sirius somewhat focused and, interested.”

Frosting and Crushes
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @inkstainedfanfics
“Newt has been distant the past week, focusing only on Tina and their work. You try to strike up conversation with him at dinner, but, after many failed attempts, grow irritated and leave early. Queenie decides to take matters into her own hands.”

Body Heat
Sirius Black x Reader
by @wizardwritings
Reader is the younger sister of James and is in a relationship with Sirius.

Painkiller
Sirius Black x Reader
by @deerprongs
Lilly gives Reader a potion to help her with her headache but ends up adding putting too much of an ingredient in that makes Reader loopy and giggly. Completed Series

Air B&E
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @avengerofyourheart
“When a mission requires close proximity with your least favorite teammate, you try to make the best of it, but a change in plans adds new challenges and possibly a new opportunity.”

Lost My Way
Tom Holland x Reader
by @intheheartoftomholland
“Famous actor Tom Holland has been in the film industry for years now after making it big as Spiderman and he loses himself along the way.”

Being Pregnant With Steve Rogers’ Baby
Steve Rogers x Reader
by @fvckingsteverogers
Basically an imagine…

The Bunkhouse
Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes
by @angryschnauzer
“Bucky is backpacking through the Canadian Rockies when he decides to stay at a bunkhouse for the night. The only other guest is a loud and arrogant stranger by the name of Steve that does nothing except boast about his bravado and prowess. Its time for someone to take him down a peg or two.”

Incubus
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @after-avenging-hours
Basically sex demon Bucky begin a sex god.

Don’t Be Ashamed
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @fantasticnewtimagines
Handicapped!Reader requires a cane to walk around and Newt is a sweetheart about it.

Urgent Care
Avengers x Reader
by @arrow-guy
Reader brings Peggy to help diffuse the Civil War between Steve and Tony. Completed Series

Naked
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @marvelous-fvcks
“You accidentally walk in on Bucky as he gets ready for his date - completely naked - and your natural awkwardness only causes things to go from bad to worse. In an attempt to resolve the situation you get some of the worst advice from some of your friends who are no help whatsoever”

A Personal Connection
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @sebastianstandoffish
“Bucky may or may not have a crush on Steve’s PA.”

The Voice Inside My Head
Deadpool x Reader
by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord
I don’t really know how to summarize this one, just read it, trust me.

You Should Be Here
Dean Winchester x Daughter!Reader, Sam Winchester x Niece!Reader
by @winchesters-favorite-girl
“Dean took Amara down with the spirit bomb they made, leaving Sam to raise Dean’s young daughter.”

What’s Between Us
Steve Rogers x Reader
by @bovaria
“Reader breaks her arm during a mission so she has to stay in the tower to heal. After a while she gets really bored and glum so Steve takes her out to cheer her up.”

The Past On Your Doorstep
Dean Winchester x Reader
by @atwistoffate
“After more than 4 years Dean knocks on your door, surprising the hell out of you. Then it’s his turn to be surprised when he sees a little girl standing next to you.”

Fire And Ice
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @beccaanne814-blog
Bucky has a crush on the Reader who is a nurse for the military.

Going To The Yule Ball With Sirius
Sirius Black x Reader
by @blueelf
An imagine of what would happen if Reader were to go with Sirius to the Yule Ball.

Study Hard
Sirius Black x Reader
by @notanotherausten
“Reader has been studying for hours and Sirius forces her to take a break.”

Newt Scamander Smut
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @13reasonswhyiblog
“You and Newt had met at Hogwarts, and had both left a while ago, Newt left before you due to being expelled. But Professor Dumbledore had asked you both to return and fill temporary positions. You were going to teach DADA, and Newt, quite obviously was teaching Care of Magical Creatures”

The Smallest Moment Makes The Biggest Difference
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @captainhopelessromantik-808
Reader works at the ministry with Newt and he asks her out on a date.

Skewered
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @avengemebuckyy
“You’re a doctor for the avengers and when Bucky comes in with a hunk of metal in his side you find that it’s not his injury that’s making you sweat.”

You Good?
Sam Wilson x Reader
by @marvelfic
“Reader works for Shield, more as a backup agent with the computers. She’s shy, but has a kind personality. She meets Sam one day buy getting shot at an attack on the Shield base and he helps her get away safely. Later they become friends and one day while running together she gets flustered by him and runs faster to hide her face but it causes her to loose her breath and when he catches up, she admits she likes him.”

Hazelnut and Hurricanes
Sam Wilson x Reader
by @marvelfic
“Sam finds you in a busy coffee shop and can’t keep is eyes off of you. After buying you a coffee he insists on taking you on a date. You finally agree, but will the awful weather ruin the night?” Completed Series

Bucky’s Baby
Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader
by @lancefuckrr *On AO3*
“Down on your luck, you meet a man named Bucky - a handsome and wealthy businessman - who changes your life completely.”

Soothing
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @omg-imatotalmess
Reader helps Newt deal and tame his beasts.

Rescue
Avengers x Reader
by @theliteratureloser
“Reader is getting a tour of her new job at the Avengers tower, but happens to be the only one who notices an oncoming jet, about to crash into the building.” Ongoing Series

Modern Times
Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers (Platonic)
by @itsanerdlife
“Reader whose a none romantic and doesn’t believe in relationships trying to explain her lifestyle to the Avengers Team, specifically the two men from the 40′s who don’t understand as she teases them.”

Drunk Love
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @winter-childrens
“Bucky is drunk and is very sweet and cute.”

The Perfect Prom
Peter Parker x Reader
by @icat8
“Prom has been more of a nightmare than the dream you hoped it would be. Thankfully, you have a friend like Peter.” Completed Series

My Fake Boyfriend
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @supersoldierslover
“After receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or accept the help of your hot neighbor and pretend he is your boyfriend.” Ongoing Series

My Hot Nerd
Peter Parker x Reader
by @ships4you
Peter comes back from his nightly shenanigans and finds his girlfriend waiting for him in his bedroom.

Arsonist’s Lullaby
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @soldatbarnes
“Reader is a pyrokinetic, being sought after by both Hydra and the Avengers.” Ongoing Series

This Is War
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @soldatbarnes
“jealous!bucky where he tries to outdo the guy in everything and its just ridiculous and funny.” Ongoing Series

The Only Exception
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @just-some-drabbles
“Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?” Ongoing Series

The Friendly Wager
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @just-some-drabbles
“Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?” Ongoing Series

Guys My Age
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @221bshrlocked
“You’re playing truth or dare with the Avengers when Nat asks you when the last time you got laid was  and Sam dares you to pick a song that perfectly grasps why you haven’t had sex in so long.” Ongoing Series

Cursebreaker
Newt Scamander x Reader
by @azurakenway
Newt gets turned into a beast and needs Reader to kiss him in order to turn back into a human.

Weak When You’re Around
Sirius Black x Reader
by @lovelysiriuss
“In which Sirius realizes he feels weak when he’s around her, but not knowing what to do about it.”

Untouched
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @avasparks
“The whole team is surprised to find out you’re still a virgin, and the news seems to make you more allegeable to some of the men around the compound. Bucky is no less surprised than the rest of the team, and finds it even harder to keep his eyes off you as he nurses a secret of his own, which he feels obliged to reveal to you after an incident in the training room.”

What Passengers Do In Private
Sirius Black x Reader
by @azurakenway
Sirius gets a little possessive on the train to Hogwarts when another guy flirts with you.

Nightfall
Sirius Black x Reader
by @h4rtache
“Gryffindor reader is feeling nervous about graduating when Young!Sirius comes to console her.“

My Girl
Sirius Black x Reader
by @wizardwritings
Reader and Sirius spend a cold night in Hogsmeade.

Fat Bottomed Omega
Dean Winchester x Reader
by @melonshino
*A/B/O Universe* SMUT SMUT SMUT

Golden Desire
Sebastian Stan x Reader
by @sebuckyverse
“Watching Sebastian work on the set of ‘The Bronze’ is giving you a hard time.“

Let’s Pretend
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @papi-chulo-bucky
“Tony finds a website of two shape shifting mutant pornstars who make their living impersonating the Avengers on their website and decide to show the team.“ Completed Series

Comfortable
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @oneshot-shit
“Bucky being annoying can lead to fun times.“

My Beautiful Boy
Bucky Barnes x Reader
by @timeforsmut
Submissive Bucky smut

The Elevator
Jensen Ackles x Reader
by @melissaj616
Elevator smut with Jensen

‘Sherlock’ if it followed Pilot Sherlock and Pilot John:

ASiP/AToP

  • They have their first kiss after the late night Chinese
  • They sleep together within the first week (Both knew what was between them was special, so they didn’t want to jump right into bed. But they waited as long as they could)
  • John still starts his blog, and Sherlock is protrayed only slightly more romantic than it is in the original show.

TBB

  • Sherlock introduces John as his ‘friend’, but John corrects him by saying ‘boyfriend’
  • Sarah still flirts with John, but John nicely works in that he has a boyfriend
  • John and Sherlock attend the circus together
  • The black lotus kidnaps a random stranger as insentive for ‘Sherlock Holmes’ (really John) to give them the pin. 
  • They go home after saving the day, to have energetic sex

TGG

  • John goes up to the spare room instead of going to Sarah’s after Sherlock shoots the wall
  • John immediately runs down the stairs after the explosion to make sure Sherlock’s alright.
  • John still acts jealous of Moriarty’s, but Sherlock assures him that he’s being ridiculous to think Sherlock would want anyone but him.
  • Sherlock knows immediately that John’s not Moriarty, but instead semi-panics at the sight of John in a bomb vest.
  • John makes joke that it’s not really the right time for Sherlock to be ripping his clothes off in a darkened swimming pool as “anyone could walk in.” Sherlock tells him that they’ll just have to save that for when they get home.

ASiB

  • Pretty much the same, only Sherlock looks at Irene like she’s an idiot to think he has eye for anyone but John.
  • It also ends almost as soon as the phone arrives at Christmas because John says “Maybe she’s a little like me and my pin, try S-H-E-R.”
  • When Irene’s captured, Sherlock tells John they should probably save her since it would be a shame to lose such a worthy adversary.
  • John tells him to be careful.

THoB

  • They obviously share a bed, and there’s nothing to it.
  • John answers the question as to whether or not his one is a snorer.
  • John thinks Sherlock’s being ridiculous when he suggests John try to wine and dine Dr. Mortimer
  • They make up that night instead of the next morning, but Sherlock still calls him a conductor of light.

TRF

  • Upon leaving Kitty Riley's flat, Sherlock tells John not to believe anything he sees in the next 24 hours, no matter how real it looks. And tells him to give him a week.
  • One week post fall, John gets a summoned by Mycroft, and Sherlock is waiting to tell him everything

S2 Hiatus

  • Both understand it would be too obvious if both disappear/die, so John reluctantly agrees to let Sherlock go on his own. But John remains an active participant on the other side, acting as Sherlock’s handler while playing the part of the grieving boyfriend.
  • Every few months, they meet up at a safe house in a secure location.
  • John takes a job at a new surgery, where one of the nurses tries almost non-stop to get his attention and move on from his “dead” boyfriend. It doesn’t work.

TEH

  • John goes to pull Sherlock from Siberia, but doesn’t wait as long as Mycroft did, so Sherlock was only held for one day. 
  • John still goes into the bonfire, but Sherlock gets the skip code, and still saves him.

TSoT

  • It’s John and Sherlock’s wedding.
  • They still get the Mayfly Man case since Sherlock insists that he and John serve as each other’s best man, regardless of the fact that they’re marrying each other.
  • They still save Sholto, and John and Sholto get closure from their “almost relationship.”

HLV

  • Only have to deal with Lady Smallwood’s problem
  • They figure out some other way of taking down CAM without committing treason or killing him

TST

  • Sherlock and John fight an assassin thinking they’re going to find the pearl only to find a flash drive with some random letters on them.
  • The assassin escapes, Mycroft informs them the letters had to do with an elite mercenary team, and it’s none of their concern
  • A nurse from John’s old surgery disappears, but they don’t know or care
  • They treat Mrs. Hudson to dinner.

TLD

  • Smith eventually slips up, and John and Sherlock catch his scent and take him down.

TFP

  • Never happens. Sherlock’s only ever had one sibling, and that’s Mycroft.


Feel free to add your own thoughts/headcanons/ideas!

Blackjack (I)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jungkook

Rating: 18+ (explicit sex, mafia!AU)

Warning: handcuffs, breath play

Word Count: 7,579

Summary: After losing several times to a very expensive card table, you find yourself deep in debt to the notorious mafia group, Bangtan. Taehyung is kind enough to offer you a way out. If you can succeed in taking home any guy of his choosing, your debt will be wiped clear. Then he points at Jungkook.

Keep reading

He is a CIVILIAN!!!!! TONY STARK /IS/A/CIVILIAN/ AND HE WAS(IS) EXPOSED TO SUCH HORRIFIC THINGS IT’S FUCKING ME UPP

1)has to watch as four soldiers get shot whilst escorting him
2) is blown up
3) has to undergo open heart surgery whilst conscious
4) wakes up to discover someone has inserted something so incredibly intrusive and life-changing into his chest without his permission.
5) is tortured
6) discovers the person responsible for this is one of the only people he has ever trusted

AND THAT IS JUST IRON MAN 1!!!!! THE F I R S T FILM IN THE TRAINWRECK THAT IS HIS LIFE LIKE WAS HE PREPARED FOR ANY OF THAT?? EQUIPPED??? ENHANCED OR TRAINED???? NO!!!!

He was a CIVILIAN ,and he went though hell in the first movie alone. Then he takes it further- making going through all these traumas his goddamned job just so he can try and fix the mistakes that weren’t even his fault in the first place and I am aware there are a lot of italics but I am feeling very emotional about this!!!!!!!right!!!!!now!!!

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

Keep reading

TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird
Niall Horan reveals a secret lover he had in 1D inspired his best songs — and it has inspired his emotional debut album Flicker

FOR his five years in ONE DIRECTION – and the nearly two years since they went on hiatus – NIALL HORAN has been linked to a string of beautiful women.

But while his bandmates HARRY STYLES, LIAM PAYNE, LOUIS TOMLINSON and ZAYN MALIK have had plenty of girlfriends since shooting to fame, Niall always insisted he was single . . . until now.

In his first Bizarre guest-edit since going solo, Niall revealed his incredible debut album Flicker, out today, was inspired by a secret relationship.

Keep reading

The Cartel (Master List)

BOOGIE NIGHTS AND COLOMBIAN WHITE

It’s 1970′s Florida and the most wicked cartel on the eastern seaboard is at the peak of crime and thievery. Each member designed to execute exactly what they’re meant to - each a cog inside Byun Baekhyun’s well-oiled machine. Every king needs a court though; a worthy entourage to ensure his continued power. In order to deal the cleanest product, sometimes you have to get your hands dirty.


Byun Baekhyun, The Head. Smooth, meticulous, nary a word or hair out of place. Holds nothing dearer than the empire he built with his own two hands - except for the one woman who could bring it all crashing down. 

One Shot by @kpopfanfictrash - Fire ]

Originally posted by luedeer


Kim Minseok, The Pimp. Anything you need done - and done right - you go to Minseok. His hands are everywhere, he knows everything and he’s often the first face you see in the cartel. He also might be your last.

One Shot by @rudeboywonho - Danger Within ]

Originally posted by addtidathida


Kim Jongin, The Diversion. Charm, wit and the face of an angel. Jongin is a man eyes can’t help but be drawn towards. He’ll flirt, he’ll smile - all while quietly robbing you blind. Fond of racing, women and loose morals - you know where there’s Jongin, Yixing can’t be too far behind.

One Shot by @kimnamwho[ Momentum ]

Originally posted by kittihun


Zhang Yixing, The Eyes. When asked why he likes the dark so much, he just says that he does. Simple. Really, it’s because it’s easy to forget your rules when you think no one is watching, or remembering you in the morning but he’s seen you. He’s seen you and, oh - does he remember all your secrets. 

One Shot by @bread-jinie - [ Shortwave ]

Originally posted by 305heaux


Oh Sehun, The Greaser. Better at fixing cars than people, Sehun is the man to know when your vehicle needs to be at the top of its game. Full of sarcastic remarks, random car facts and long gazes - he’s usually found elbow-deep in a machine, a dirty rag tucked into his back pocket. You need a car that’s fast, sexy and damn-near impossible to catch? Oh Sehun’s got you covered. 

One Shot by @imdifferentshadesofpurple - [ Accélérer ]

Originally posted by lullabyun


Do Kyungsoo, The Fed. Because every respectable cartel needs an inside man. He can bust the operation in a matter of minutes, but when the price is right you’ll find a significant amount of evidence lost. The FBI agent with a promising future, only to be dragged down for the sake of his family. But let’s not judge him too hard - a man’s got to eat, after all. 

One Shot by @def-initely-soul - Artifex ]

Originally posted by dazzlingkai


Park Chanyeol, The Bruiser.  If his name doesn’t strike fear into your heart, you haven’t had the chance to meet him face to face. As the muscle of the operations, Chanyeol has one job and one job only: protect Byun Baekhyun. No one so much as looks at the Head without Chanyeol saying so. 

One Shot by @knockknocksoosthere - [ Illusions ]

Originally posted by grinding-on-baek


Kim Junmyeon, The Cleaner. In a group as hot-headed as this, it’s easy for members to forget themselves and leave a trail. Junmyeon is one who makes their problems disappear, who erases them to nothing more than lemon and bleach. When a member wakes up on a boat, stranded with only a snowshoe crab for company - who’s the man that they call? Junmyeon. 

One Shot by @igot7bangtanbaes - [ Erasure ]

Originally posted by veriloquentmind


Kim Jongdae, The Money. Years ago, Jongdae was just another analyst on Wall Street. These days, it’s rare to see him without his Bugatti or penthouse view. In charge of the numbers, analysis and all things paper - Jongdae is the one who protects their funds. Just in case this life of crime should ever come crashing down around them. 

One Shot by @kpopfanfictrash - [ The Money ]  

Originally posted by dragonkick

Petname Babygirl II pt.1

yoongi x reader

genre: smut, dom!yoongi, sugardaddy!yoongi

word count: 7.3k


Sleeping with some random guy was one thing. But realizing that he is your boss was a disaster until he offers you something tempting you cannot reject.

Originally posted by sugamysavagebaby

Keep reading

SATISFIED: Lams version

Mulligan:
Alright, this is what I’m talkin bout! Give it up, for the Best Man, John Laurens!

Laurens:
A toast to the groom!
(to the groom, to the groom, to the groom)
To the bride!
(to the bride, to the bride, to the bride)
From your best friend
(Laurens, Laurens, Laurens)
Who is always by your side
(by your side, by your side)
To your union and the hope that you provide
(you provide, you provide)
May you always (always)
Be satisfied (rewind)

Rewind!
Rewind!
I remember that night, I just might
I remember that night, I just might
I remember that night, I remember that

I remember that night, I just might
Regret that night for the rest of my days
I remember us soldier boys
Drinking and toasting ourselves to our future praise
I remember that pub light candlelight
Like a dream that you can’t quite place
But Alexander, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face

I have never been the same
Intelligent eyes and a witty ass nickname
And when you said “Hi” I forgot my dang name
Set my heart aflame, ev'ry part aflame
This is not a game…

Hamilton:
You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied

Laurens:
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, you forget yourself

Hamilton:
You’re like me, I’ve never been satisfied

Laurens:
Is that right?

Hamilton:
I have never been satisfied

Laurens:
My name’s John Laurens

Hamilton:
Alexander Hamilton

Laurens:
Where are you from?

Hamilton:
Unimportant, though I can already tell I like you a lot.
Just you wait, just you wait…

Laurens:
So so so
So this is what it feels like to match thoughts
With someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It’s
The feeling of freedom, of joy and pride
Maybe with him I won’t have to hide? You see him right?
The conversation lasted over two drinks, maybe three drinks
Ev'rything we said in total agreement, it’s
A dream and it’s a bit of a dance
A bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance
He flirts with me in his notes, and I give him the chance
I tell him bout my plans, do you see his face tho?
Dumbstruck, listening at the edge of his seat.
He’s fallen hard, you can tell by the knowable seam in his pants
Handsome, boy, does he know it!
Peach fuzz, and he can’t even grow it!
I wanna take him far away from this place
Then I’ve gotta leave to fight, leading my men at a quick pace
Then I get a note that leaves tears on my face he is

Eliza:
Helpless

Laurens:
And I know she is

Eliza:
Helpless

Laurens:
And her eyes are just

Eliza:
Helpless

Laurens
And I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time
I’m a man in a world in which
My only job is to keep my title rich
My father has no other sons so I’m the one
Who’ll lead the black battalion the one
Cause I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the slavery in
Our new nation is insidious
And Alexander is penniless
Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less
(Doesn’t mean I want him any less)
(Doesn’t mean I want him any less)
(Doesn’t mean I want him any less)

He tells me he likes me a lot, that confuses the shit outta me
I’d have to be green to not see what he means
I don’t reply
Now there’s Eliza
Now that’s his bride
Nice going, Laurens, he was right
You will never be satisfied
(I will never be satisfied)
(I will never be satisfied)

I know my best friend like I know my own mind
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind
If I tell him that I love him he would toss her to the side
He’d be mine
She would say, “I’m fine”
But she’d be lying

But when I fantasize at night
It’s Alexander’s eyes
As I romanticize what might have been
If I hadn’t left
so quickly
At least my dear Eliza’s his wife
At least I keep his letters in my life…

to the groom!
(to the groom, to the groom, to the groom)
To the bride!
(to the bride, to the bride, to the bride)
From your best friend
(Laurens, Laurens, Laurens)
Who is always by your side
(by your side, by your side)
To your union and the hope that you provide
(you provide, you provide)
May you always
Be satisfied

And I know
She’ll be happy as his bride
And I know
He will never be satisfied
I will never be satisfied

I had the honor and horror of explaining/proving today to my local comic book store owner, who is a born-and-raised Jewish dude, that the Black Widow is Jewish. I ended up making a drive home and grabbing my copy of the 83-87 run of her origin story and then going back in person to prove the point today (a week after the original argument)/sit there and watch him repeat, dumbfounded, again and again, “I thought she was Russian Orthodox or something.”

So then I had to explain that Marvel eventually retconned her into having had the Red Room rip out all her memories of life before her parents’ death and thus left her unaware of her heritage. He had a copy of the new version of her origin story. We went over it together in-store, curious, and left mutually disappointed. There’s not one hint of her original origin left other than her very Jewish patronymic still remaining part of her name.

As a Russian-descended person I find that kind of a fitting metaphor for how the Russian government has treated Russian Jews - Natasha can succeed, can be the best in her field, can be beautiful and praised for her moral fortitude, but only if she has all Jewishness forcibly removed from her. It’s sort of befitting the era in which her character would have grown up, especially if Marvel pushes forward with the idea they’ve hinted at that the Red Room’s treatments have stalled her aging and she might be nearly as old as Steve and Bucky.

Out of universe, though, please never forget that Marvel took out all the women from the Avengers except one for their cinematic adaptation initially, and the one they left, they made either atheist or secular enough to casually refer to Loki and Thor as gods. They had a chance to put the first Jewish superhero to the big screen and didn’t even consider it for a second.

Then they made the Scarlet Witch not only not Jewish but Christian in the sequel. Just to twist the knife a little deeper, they made her non-Rromani and went with a fake nationality to top it all off.

And thus I stood before a man whose job was (in part) to live and breathe Marvel and he had no idea Natasha Romanov was Jewish. This new and improved origin story that has no trace of her Jewish roots (in freaking Novosibirsk where there’s a large Jewish quarter of the city, are you kidding me with this Marvel) comes during the same year Marvel published a storyline headed by writer Nick Spencer where Captain America was a Nazi/HYDRA agent all along, a storyline that only got canceled because the fan protests and outcry was so great that between the petitions, boycotts and actual Marvel actors like Clark Gregg (who is Jewish and who Nick Spencer sent the issue personally) publicly stating disgust with it that Marvel realized they weren’t going to be able to sell overt antisemitism. Covert antisemitism, though, we’re still buying - the Iron Man anti-villain/anti-heroine The Mad Thinker/Rhona Clytemnestra Cohen had her surname changed to have always been Burchill and her backstory retconned into her family being the victims of ‘a criminal car bombing’. Not ‘an antisemitic car bombing motivated by the fact my mother was a brilliant Jewish scientist whose coworkers had it out for her’. Just ‘a criminal car bombing’. I have seen all of three people complain about that even though it takes her motivations as a Jewish woman who hates that superheroes don’t save or stand for people like her and turns her into another generic supervillain.

I see what you’re doing, Marvel. There’s a reason I go out of my way to buy my comics from a place that will let me leaf through comics before purchasing them. If you want to keep going down this path, please just be aware that one day, kids will be shown that Captain America panel of him saying ‘Hail HYDRA’ in history class as they learn about the 2016 antisemitic upswing. You are made of the same stuff videos labeled ‘crazy propaganda cartoons’ on YouTube are.

(And yes I know one person’s rants are another person’s no big deal but I am not merely out of fucks to give, I am deeply, deeply in the red right now.)

6

#EliaMartellWeek: Day 2 → Elia and Rhaegar

The man had her brother’s hair, but he was taller, and his eyes were a dark indigo rather than lilac. “Aegon,” he said to a woman nursing a newborn babe in a great wooden bed. “What better name for a king?”
“Will you make a song for him?” the woman asked.
“He has a song,” the man replied. “He is the prince that was promised, and his is the song of ice and fire.” He looked up when he said it and his eyes met Dany’s, and it seemed as if he saw her standing there beyond the door. “There must be one more,” he said, though whether he was speaking to her or the woman in the bed she could not say. “The dragon has three heads.” He went to the window seat, picked up a harp, and ran his fingers lightly over its silvery strings. Sweet sadness filled the room as man and wife and babe faded like the morning mist, only the music lingering behind to speed her on her way.

The Batman Rogues as Spongebob Quotes

Scarecrow: The sash wringing… the trash thinging… mash flinging… the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the… HASH SLINGING SLASHER!

Riddler: You may be an open book Spongebob, but I am a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

Killer Croc: Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells…smelly

Two-Face: Isn’t this great Squidward? Just you & me together for hours and hours and hours! And then the sun’ll come up, and it’ll be tomorrow, and we’ll still be working! It’ll be just like a sleepover! Only we’ll be sweaty and covered with grease!

Penguin: Hmm, a five letter word for happiness…money!

Mad Hatter: So you mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think we thought?…I think.

Catwoman: Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery…Now that I think about it she’s also very graceful and majestic. Perhaps I should name her Grace or Majesty…or Debbie.

Poison Ivy: I’ll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and I only cried for twenty minutes.

Harley Quinn:  See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral.”

The Joker: F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!

Mr. Freeze: I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos!

Firefly: You know, if I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would be just okay.

Man-Bat: Yeah, uhh, we’re with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises.

Clayface: This isn’t me millionth dollar, this is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon and kissed with Coral Blue #2 semi-gloss lipstick!

Bane: I was a wimp before Anchor Arms. Now, I’m a jerk and everybody loves me! So order now, wimp!

some villainous concepts/headcanons:

  • Black Hat is a master of all things classical and occult but modern technology is mostly lost on him and he doesn’t care, if you handed him a smartphone he might eat it
  • Dr Flug has an infinite amount of paper bags so that if you remove one you find another and another onwards indefinitely, he can sometimes be found cutting the eye holes out of spares
  • Demencia knew and fell for Black Hat before he knew she even existed
  • Black Hat sometimes shouts random accusatory statements when surprised to play it off like he’s offended and not caught off guard, I.E. “HOW DARE YOU ENTER HERE UNINVITED”
  • Demencia’s job is bodyguard/guard dog, her obsession with BH assures she will fight to protect him or at the very least unwittingly notify him of a potential threat
  • Dr. Flug is a normal human evil-intern-turned-one-man-product-development-department with a family who still wants to see him for the holidays and pester him about his job and his love life
  • Black Hat hoards random nonsense spooky/twisted Victorian things, like taxidermied animals stood up like people and fencing each other or broken chandeliers
  • Dr. Flug can get motion sick, potentially due to his partially obscured vision (paper bag + goggles)
  • Black Hat talks in his sleep but only in horrifying otherworldly tongues of the dark whisperer
  • “DEMENCIA’S EATING THE NEIGHBOR’S PETUNIAS AGAIN”
  • Black Hat is never seen without a hat, preferably black.
  • Dr Flug finds every possible opportunity to retaliate against BH’s torment in quiet and humble ways that won’t get his butt kicked, such as “he asked for 4 ice cubes but I gave him FIVE!! MWAHAHHAHA! HIS DRINK WILL BE ALL WATERY!” 
  • Black Hat does not require mortal sustenance but sometimes eats/drinks just because he can
  • Demencia is closer to chaotic neutral than true evil but let’s just let her have this
  • Black Hat takes offense to implications that he doesn’t understand something and will not ask for help; “OF COURSE I KNOW HOW TO EAT AN EGG” *swallows the raw egg whole*
  • “DR. FLUG THE WI-FI IS OUT”