only jokin

Relax

Harry X Reader: Smut

In which Harry distracts you from your irrational fear of flying.

Request? Yes

Author’s note: This was inspired by a video that someone sent to me! Also, I’ve only flown twice, so let me know if I’ve got some wonky details.


This is not a first. You’ve flown plenty of times. In fact, you were just on a plane a week ago, but it never gets any easier. Now, you’re boarding a flight in New York City that’s meant to take you back to London.

“Oi! Careful, love,” Harry chides, gripping just above your elbow to keep you upright. You’ve stumbled over the entrance to the plane, embarrassingly enough. You blush and thank him quietly under your breath, continuing down the aisle to your seats. Slipping into the next to the window, you pull the shade down before tucking your bag under the seat in front of you. Harry slips in beside you and raises his eyebrows.

“Y/N, yeh don’ wanna see the view?”

You glare at him briefly. He knows how you get. Heights really aren’t your forte, and you have no desire to stare down at the Earth from hundreds of miles in the air. It’s bad enough knowing how far up you are without seeing it.

“Only jokin’, love. C’mon. You’re fine. Flyin’s not so bad.” He pats your thigh and grins, partly to comfort you and partly to tease you. He finds it funny and endearing how much you hate flying.

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anonymous asked:

75 Muddz?

“You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Your vision began to clear as his voice pierced into your consciousness.

"I..didn’t do it on purpose.” You started, your throat scratchy from dehydration. Your field of vision was entirely green. What were you looking at exactly?

It occurred to you from the way your body was swaying that you were looking at the back of Murdoc’s neck. He was…carrying you?

Murdoc cleared his throat before he spoke again.

“Well, maybe next time you should remember to actually eat something for once, you fuckin’ dunce.”

“Well this has never happened before, otherwise I would have!” You protested. Murdoc had his arms entwined through your legs.

“Sweet Satan, you’re heavy as fuck.”

“Can it, greeny.” You spat as much venom into the words as you could.

He genuinely laughed at that. It was almost a sweet sound. like someone dusting off a forgotten treasure kind of sweet. Being this close to him, seeing the texture of his skin, the strength it took to carry you at all…you felt small and protected. You detected the faintest scent of licorice. Murdoc’s voice interrupted your thoughts.

”Just kiddin’, love. Only jokin’.”

Blushing, you hid your face in his neck. He didn’t say a word more to you as he carried you back home, his boots tapping the pavement.


____________

Yes, another shameless visual self insert of myself with mudz. I hope you all enjoy! <3

-Vixen

anonymous asked:

But is Niall a screamer? Does he moan? Grunt? Does he like to say your name and how good you feel while you ride him???? I need answers

First of all, how fucking dare you assault me this way. Secondly, I don’t see him as a screamer. But he definitely grunts and let’s out soft moans through gritted teeth while his mouth his pressed into the side of your neck. Low curses puff out when he feels your walls clench down around him. And when he finally comes its with his neck stretched taught and his eyes squeezed shut while a strangled cry pours from his lips. He collapses on top of you, clutching desperately at the sticky skin of your arms and neck, trying to anchor himself to your body. Desperate kisses are pressed to your cheeks and lips between words of praise for how good you make him feel.

Then I can I can only assume he does something idiotic like tap your ass and ask you to make him a sandwich. You scoff and shove his arm, secretly loving how his loud laugh echoes through the room. He squeezes you close and mumbles, “only jokin’ love. C'mon, let’s go get somethin’ to drink.”

You reach over to the side of the bed to grab a tshirt but he yanks it out of your hands with a smirk. “Uh uh. House rules, babe. No clothes after sex.”

You snort and roll your eyes. “Fine. I’m not the one who’ll end up having to get those nice upholstered kitchen chairs cleaned later.”

He stops to glare at you for a moment the nods. “Yup. Worth it. Now move that sweet ass o'yours. I’m thirsty.”

You giggle and swat at his bare bum as he swaggers out of his bedroom. “Cocky bastard.”

Twelfth Night: Part 2 | Alfie Solomons

You ask and you shall receive!

It had been a strange experience to get up the next morning and not stand bandaging your bust flat. Just as it had been a little odd not trying to pin your hair beneath a flat cap. The blouse you pulled on fitted and didn’t hang from you like the potato sack of a shirt you’d been wearing. For once your fingernails were clean and looking in the mirror, you’d almost forgotten what you looked like as a woman… and not as the boy you’d masqueraded as for almost two months.

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@benerchic  

10 with just Muphy and smut

“10. One finds the others blog. Hilarity ensues.”

Murphy was bored whilst he waited for you to get back from the store, he hated being here on his own and he had nothing to do. He sat on the sofa for about ten minutes just drumming his fingers before he looked at your laptop on the coffee table. He knew you wouldn’t mind him using it, maybe he could find something to do on there, look at some funny cat videos or some shite. He picked it up and set it down on his lap as he logged in. He noticed there was something already up and he squinted when he read it. 

“Tumblr? What’s t'at?” He asked himself as the rubbed his thumb over his lower lip. He was unaware it was left open on your tumblr page and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he scrolled down, realising it was you that had been posting these things. 

“What t’ fuck do we have here t'en?!” He laughed gleefully as he kept exploring your blog. 

You had a pack of beer in your arms as you opened the apartment door and walked in, setting them down on the counter. Murphy was being unusually quiet which normally meant he was up to no good, and you walked into the living room to find him sat on the sofa with your laptop and a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Who’s Norman Reedus? Looks a bit like me don’t ye t'ink?” He grinned up at you, his eyes twinkling with mischief. You blushed furiously as you realised just what he was looking at and you stepped forward to grab the laptop. He was too quick though and stood with it, backing away from you. 

“And what’s t'is stuff ye’ve been writin’? Ye kinky little lass!” He laughed as he found one of the stories he found hilarious. 

“Gimme it back, Murph!” You whined, feeling like your face would be forever red after this incident. Murphy just ignored you and cleared his throat as he prepared to read some more. 

“He fisted her hair as he thrust int’ her hard, causin’ her t’ cry out in pleasure. He filled her up fully wit’ his big throbbin’ cock.” He read trying to be deadly serious but failing as he started giggling at the end. 

“Shut up!” You squealed as you launched yourself at him and grabbed the laptop. You closed it and shoved it under the couch before being tackled onto the floor, landing on your back with a smiling Murphy on top of you. 

“I’m only jokin’ lass wit’ ye lass.” He smiled as he leant down and kissed you deeply, pinning your hands above your head on the floor. He broke away and started kissing and nipping your neck causing you to moan softly. 

“And I might have t’ take some pointers from yer writin’.” He smirked in between kisses. You could feel how hard he was as he ground his hips to yours and you realised he liked what he read. 

“Yeah?” You asked him softly, not really caring about his answer as his lips on you felt like heaven.

“Aye. Seems t’ me ye like t’ dominant and possessive type.” He purred into your ear, kissing a trail back to your lips slowly.

“You don’t really need any help with that.” You smirked at him as you pushed your hips up to his. He smirked back at you and kissed you hard making you moan. He released your hands and broke away from you, standing up and pulling you up with him.

“Bed, now.” He commanded, his intense gaze burning holes into your skin as you did as you were told. When you got into the bedroom he pushed you onto the bed, removing his top before crawling on the bed over you and then removing yours, your bra following closely behind in the pile of clothes on the floor. He started kissing your breasts and then took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on it slightly as one of his hands reached down to undo your pants. He moved away and yanked your pants and panties off at the same time and stood to quickly remove the rest of his clothing.

Before long he was back on top of you, nothing now separating his impressive erection from finding its destination. He pushed into you with a groan and you moaned at how good he felt.

“Fuckin’ love t’ose noises mo ghra (my love).” He growled as he started thrusting into you, gripping onto one of your thighs to hitch your leg up further so he could go ever deeper. You were both moaning and panting and he got even faster, pounding into you as he chased his release.

“Fuckin’ feel so good. Cum for me y/n.” He moaned before kissing and sucking your neck, leaving a nice hickey behind to claim what was his. You could feel the pleasure build up inside of you with each thrust, he was hitting all the right spots and it felt amazing. He reached his hand between you and started rubbing circles around your clit as his pace increased even more. You cried out at the feeling, your orgasm suddenly crashing over you like a tidal wave as you moaned his name repeatedly. He felt you tighten around him and his own release followed, his hips bucking wildly as he cursed in various languages and spilled himself inside of you. He collapsed on top of you, both of you were sweaty and breathless now and completely sated. You ran your hand through his hair and his hand rubbed soothing circles on your side.

“Good enough for ye?” He smirked and nuzzled your neck.

“It was perfect.” You sighed contently.

“I love ye m’girl.” He smiled sleepily into your neck, placing a soft kiss on the skin he could reach.

“I love you too Murph.” You smiled back as you both lay there enjoying just being with each other.

Originally posted by reedusgif

Memory Bound - Snowbound Part 008

Didn’t I promise some happiness because the last few were so necessarily heavy? (I did – in replies and in my notes, I think. ;)) This was tough – my draft only had 1.5k words, and that does not a oneshot make. Hell, this is just over 5.5k and that might not be by some standards, BUT I did tweak it to include a rather popular line from an ask since it was so outrageously on topic with this installment.

I have my qualms with this, but we won’t talk about them! Starting with a FLASHBACK – on with it! ;) And, thanks to B for the help with the title – way harder than you’d think! x

P. S. References made to this blurb

Dad Harold Masterlist

Your phone buzzes angrily on your bedside table and you pop one eye open to peer at it. When you see it sliding around, attached to the wall by the tail of its charger, nearly spinning off the table to the floor, you sigh and grab it. You squint at the screen and frown slightly before picking up the call.

“Harry?”

“Where are you? I’ve been waiting out here for ten minutes.”

You blink. “W’time is it?” you mumble sleepily.

“Just after seven now,” Harry says into the phone. “We said seven, right?”

You sit up some and yawn. “Sorry,” you apologize. “Give me a moment, okay?”

You hang up and rub at your eyes aggressively – too much so to be any good for them – and get out of bed and shuffle quietly out of your bedroom. You creep extra carefully past your son’s bedroom and you turn the locks slowly on your door, wincing from the click after each one.

“Hi,” you whisper to Harry. He’s got a thick coat on with a beanie peeking out of his pocket – he’d worked hard to get here without harassment this morning.

“’Lo,” he says just as quietly, giving a small smile as he steps in. You close the door softly behind him and take a step, cringing when the wood creaks.

“Whoops,” you whisper before jerking your head. Harry follows you, boots clicking softly on the floor because neither of you had thought of them, but by this point it would make more disturbance to stop and remove them. You bite your lip as you open your son’s door gently and you peer in before opening it farther. You feel warmth all along your back and you glance back over your shoulder to look at Harry who has crept closer and whose smile is soft and gaze is focused on the sleeping boy spread on his bed.

“S’our boy,” he whispers softly.

“Yeah,” you say, eyes stinging suddenly. “He’s four,” you remark with awe.

Harry’s large, ringed hand squeezes your shoulder and you reach up to cover it with yours.

“He was jus’ a baby,” he says thickly. “Pullin’ at m’hair, chewin’ my necklaces, tryin’ t’get inside my mouth with his little hands.” He’s talking like someone who doesn’t understand a very complicated problem, and you wish you could help him find a solution.

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kyawas  asked:

lmao i don't really know you so i don't know if you were only joking with your reply but i don't want you to hate me so i'm just gonna say sorry so i don't feel guilty for the rest of the day sorry i'm so awkward

I was only jokin’! I’m sorry if it seemed like I was actually angry!!

I DON’T HATE YOU!!!!

Wounds - Part One

Masterlist

Prompt: You found Negan in a sticky situation and you help him out of it - Prompt via the wonderful @perseusandmedusa

Ships: Negan x Reader
Words: 1,106
Warnings: Curses, gore

You were covered in reeking Walker guts. Your eyes were watering from the smell as you attempted to only breathe through your mouth. You only had a small way to go before you came across the quaint cabin that your family had once vacationed in. You could see it in your mind’s eye.

The two bedroom cabin with a dark, oak wood panelling on the outside. There was a large lake that your father used to take you fishing on beside the cabin. You wondered idly if the boat would still be tied up on the small dock.  When you had last seen it there had been ivy clinging to the side of the cabin, attempting to climb on the stone roofing and the flowerbeds full to the brim with petunias, sunflowers, roses and daisy’s.

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