only a truly miserable person would watch this scene as many times as i have

The 20 Times I Cried While Reading A Court of Wings and Ruin

I have never cried while reading a book as much as I did for ACOWAR - and that’s saying something considering how emotional I can be when it comes to books. It seemed like every chapter I was holding back tears and by the time I made it to the end of the book I felt like a husk of the person I had once been. This book drained me, emotionally, mentally, even physically with its moving scenes and finality and I felt to truly do justice to the impact of ACOWAR, rather than favorite moments (of which there are many), I needed to give credit to the scenes that left me inconsolable at three in the morning. And while this post could be more accurately titled the “82 times I cried while reading this book”, I spared myself and you from that emotional trauma and narrowed it - really, I did - to the moments I physically, tears on my cheeks, sobbing, cried, while reading ACOWAR.

So grab some tissues, some tea and a pillow, because here are the 20 reasons I cried while reading A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas.

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anonymous asked:

i shipped miarren for a long time. not so much because i thought they were a cute couple, but because i always thought it was rude to ship a real person who already had a signifigant other with someone else. for years i've tried to look past all the obvious signs that D and M weren't actually together. for years i tried to ignore that whenever D is around M, or someone so much as mentions his "longtime" girlfriend, he looks absolutely, completely and utterly miserable. i tried to disregard-

Part 2:  the fact that D being with M just didn’t make sense, considering what kind of person M is, to put it simply. they just didn’t go together well. it seemed as if someone was trying to force two pieces of a puzzle together that didn’t fit. i always thought the concept of crisscolfer was cute as all hell, but i thought it was just that, a concept. however, over the past year and a half or so, i’ve started to doubt. i started following crisscolfer blogs, and what i began to see turned my entire-

Part 3:  perspective of D and M upside down. nothing made sense anymore. it became clear to me that it was all a charade. after i had been convinced that D and M weren’t together, i continued to try and convince myself that just because miarren was so obviously fake, that didn’t outright mean that D and C were a thing. but as time went on, i became curious as to why people thought they-

Part 4:  were. why crisscolfer supporters always say that they don’t “think” D and C are together, they “know”. so i did some digging. and what i found wholly convinced me. the one thing that gets me every time, is that C and D seemingly are not allowed to interact in ANY way. you see both C and D commenting on other glee co-stars posts. you see them hanging out with each other. miarren supporters always say that the reason you never see C and D together, or interact at all is because they “hate” each-

Part 5:  other. however, both C and D have confirmed that they are at the very least, close friends in the past. there are only two things that could explain the fact that they no longer interact. one: they had some sort of huge falling out. this however, makes absolutely no sense considering the relationship they had, and the way darren would respond to mentions of chris at the hedwig stage-

Part 6:  door. the only other option, two: there’s something they’re desperately trying to hide. i am 100% with you guys now. there is no way that M and D are truly together. and at this point, there is NO way that C and D aren’t truly-

Part 7:  together. on another note, i would just like to apologize on behalf of my former fandom. they can deny that they send extremely rude anonymous messages and asks to crisscolfer supporters all they want. but i used to talk to my former fellow miarren supporters. on a daily basis. and behind closed doors, some of those people (not all, some were kind and kept to themselves) would (no lie) brag to eachother about the hate they would send. it appalled-

Part 8:  me. they clearly feel threatened. they (whether its deep down or not) know something’s up. you can tell, by how defensive they get. when i was first starting to doubt that D and M were in fact together, i confided in someone i considered (at the time) a friend. they didn’t even try to convince me otherwise, they just BLEW-

Part 9:  UP. they might as well have just flown across the north atlantic ocean solely just to come to my house and personally bite my head off. they threatened me and called me names. i honestly could not believe the things i was reading. i blocked them, and that interaction only started to convince me that the whole miarren thing was fishy as-

Part 10:  hell. sorry for the long message. just needed to get this all out. lastly, who would you recommend talking to to get caught up? due to my apparent blindness over the past few years, i’ve missed a LOT of crisscolfer happenings. but i’d like to know about some, if not all of them and from what i can tell, there are no updated

Part 11:  masterposts/lists. also, i would be curious to know what was it that first started to convince you (and others) that miarren was as fake as a three dollar bill, and that crisscolfer was super duper on? maybe we could start a thread?

******************************************************************

I applaud you Nonnie, thank you for your messages!!!!!!!  If you read my bio, you know I have only been here for about 2 years.  I never “shipped” miarren, i just never looked past the PR story. As a “naive New Yorker” i saw no reason for D to lie.   

I always suspected that there was something not right.  there was an Easter pic posted soon after she moved to LA and from that moment on, I was suspicious. There was a possessive vibe to it that made me extremely uncomfortable.

I found the CCverse when D’s twitter was “hacked” when both he and Chris were in Paris and quite frankly i never looked back. I spent a weekend researching. Sadly, the masterpost I found is no longer available. But I would recommend looking though @mleigh69‘s blog. I spent a lot of time there in the beginning. She no longer actively blogs, but is still a CC believer.

For me the final, 100% confirmation was watching the Trevor Live video. Watching I almost felt it was more intimate than watching a really romantic sex scene in a movie. There was clearly so much going on between the two men in this video. 

This combined with what I had read and saw left me with absolutely no doubt.

Chris of course is the captain of the ship. Read his books. Its all in there. Watch his IG likes.  So many are directly related to CC its unreal.  And honestly, Darren talks frequently and often, you just have to pay attention. He has a lot less freedom. But he rebels all the time.

And lastly,. came off anon and talk to me and to others. We are so happy to share what we know and point you in the right direction.

Opposites Attract

Request: One were you have been married to Gabriel for centuries and the other angels let it slip in front of the Winchesters and they want to meet you and they are surprised because you are so soft spoken and kinda not like they thought

A/N: This was an anonymous request, but I hope they like it! From the way this was worded, it seemed like it would be hard to tell the whole story in the second-person, so while it’s still a reader-insert, I’ve tried third-person to write this one. Hope it didn’t turn out badly!

Author: Holly

Characters/Pairings: Gabriel/Reader, Sam, Dean, Samandriel

Word Count: 2,817

Y/N = Your Name; E/C = Eye Color; H/C = Hair Color

 

            The Winchesters had a poor habit of getting themselves in up to their throats, no matter what was going on in the supernatural world. If there wasn’t a furious horde of demons chasing after their blood, and there weren’t Leviathans framing them as serial killers, and there weren’t crazy relatives of God somehow threatening their lives, then they were just putting themselves in danger in other ways.

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i am lost in you; [1/3]

powerful business woman alex danvers meets her personal assistant maggie sawyer.

inspired by chylers and flos glaad appearance.

ao3.

i.

Alex still wasn’t sure how she ended up running one of the biggest companies in the world. For real, she has no idea how it happened. But it did happen, somehow and now she is one of the most powerful women in the world and to say that she was proud is an understatement.

Sure, her sister may be Supergirl, an alien and a hero to everyone in National City but Alex was a powerful business women who owned half of National City.

And really, her sister was more a hero for her than most people can imagine, and she dearly loved her with everyone she had but there were moments when Alex wanted to strangle her. Like, when she decided to hire Alex a personal assistant because she ‘needed more time for herself’. But Alex knew Kara’s true intentions.

“Come on Alex, you really should start dating again. It’s fun, believe me.” Kara cheekily smiled at her bigger sister, while sitting on a thousand dollars chair, a file in her one hand and pizza in the other.

“I date.” Alex replied lamely and Kara rolled her eyes.

“Going out with someone on tinder for drinks doesn’t count as a date.”

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Of Course, Doll

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: !!DRINK SPIKING!!, angst, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, swearing
Summary: Tony Stark throws one of his many extravagant parties in the comfort of his tower, however things never go according to plan. (Reader is apart of the Avengers, as she can control earth elements.)
A/N: Hiya I just opened this tumblr today because I have so many ideas of fics/oneshots revolving around the MCU !! Let me know what you think of this xxx
Word Count: 1.7K
Masterlist

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Fic: Like A Shibe

Rating: PG-13 (for some oblique references to sex)
Word Count: 2K or so
Summary: After TATINOF, Phil’s feeling insecure about how fans think of him compared to how they think of Dan. Why didn’t he ever get to be drawn like a French girl in the stage show? Dan’s always the sexy one. Dan tries to reassure him.
Author’s Note: Just a quick little scene I wrote. You can alternatively read this on AO3 (where my username is kimberly_a) here.

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Last Goodbye

Originally posted by dailypaulwesley

Requested by anonymous:

“Could you do a Stefan Salvatore one shot/reader insert where you two dated for a long time when you were young and he wanted to turn you but you didn’t want to be a vampire so you break up with him and you move on and such and when you’re in the hospital on your death bed he comes to see you and say goodbye? Thank you so much!”

Warnings: Lots of angst, character death

Note: Ahh honestly anon you are evil for sending this in, this is so freaking sad :(((( also this is a little bit inspired by the peggy/steve scene in captain america 2 so get your tissues ready!!


“That film was truly awful.” 

“Stefan Salvatore, you just experienced coloured film for the first time and all you can say was that it was awful?” *yn* grinned as the two  walked down the bustling street and away from the cinema.

“Yes because whilst it was an experience it was definitely not worth the 25 cents I had to pay.” Stefan explained causing *yn* to roll her eyes.

“You are lucky I am so in love with you Stefan Salvatore, I don’t think many other women would be able to put up with your ability to constantly whine about everything.” 

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Everyone else in the room can see it - A masterpost

All quotes used are original.

Initial reaction or information as a starter

  • it just seemed very far fetched to me and too crazy to be true.
  • always felt like Elounor was a bit fishy
  • even though I hear rumblings about “Larry” I didn’t believe it at all
  • I knew nothing about the band, their music (except WMYB lol), what they looked like (except 17-year-old Harry)   

Immediate reaction after seeing videos/story told

  • My husband is quite impatient so after 30secs he’s like “Yeah ok they’re clearly together, so what’s your point?" 
  • he was speechless, he then asked if the whole fandom knew because you’d have to be blind to not be able to tell 
  • He totally called it after watching like two clips
  • I’m not even from this fandom but is there people who actually think he is not with the other one guy from this band??
  • It’s seemed so obvious to me that H&L had something going on between them 
  • I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s not just Larries that can see H&L’s relationship. It’s super obvious to people outside of the 1D fandom too
  • and i’m also pretty sure two of them are in love, which is how I found your blog
  • So the two that were singing to each other on the AMA’s, when did they come out? I don’t remember hearing about it. (AMAS 2014)
  • Does the little one with the cheekbones know the prince is in love with him? (male, 40 married, teen kids, AMAS 2014)
  • who is he looking at?!” but I didn’t reply. When the performance ended she looked at me and said, “he was so looking at Louis THE WHOLE TIME.” and she said it as if she’s been shipping them for years, although I rarely mention it to her (mom, AMAS 2014)
  • young couple that basically said that they newly ship larry cuz they were watching the AMAs and saw how much they are actually together and I wrote your blog name down for them and LITERALLY PEOPLE ARE SHIPPING IN FALAFEL SHOPS (AMAS 2014)
  • You didnt tell me there was a romance in the band! Those two there *points at Harry and Lou* are the cutest! (gay brother, AMAS 2014)
  • As the performance we ending, she looked at me and said in reference to Harry “he just can’t help himself can he? (AMAS 2014)
  • It hurts me to say but I realized that. Every time he sang ‘it will never change me and you’ he looked straight at Louis. You might be right about this Larry thing (non-shipper, AMAS 2014)
  • Is Harry looking at louis through the whole performance  (outsider, AMAS 2014)
  • hey you like that harry styles guy right? What’s up with him and that other guy in the band, are they in love? (AMAS 2014) 
  • My only question about the performance, who was he staring at? (twitter, AMAS 2014)
  •  two staff members were talking about the ama’s and one said to the other did you see those two from one direction staring at each other last night? I think something’s up there? And the other lady said no shit they had serious eye fucking going on. So I slid past them and said wait until you google their tats and then walked away smirking (supermarket, AMAS 2014)
  • You said Harry was staring at the other one the whole……ohhhhhhh. Yeah I get it. (husband, AMAS 2014)
  • I saw the AMAs and they looked happy together and it’s nice to see, they aren’t being too crazy with the pda though which is really cool too (friend who thought they’re already out, AMAS 2014)
  • omg harry is totally gay, and louis! they’re so gay for each other! was i blind this whole time?? (after watching Larry videos)
  • You were right. They’re in love. (dad, AMAS 2014)
  • he’s not even hiding it anymore, is he? singing straight to him. (husband, AMAS 2014)
  • god, Harry truly does love Louis, doesn’t he? (mom, AMAS 2014)
  • that one (Louis, I didn’t even know his name yet) is gay and…he has a crush on one of his band mates. (video diaries)
  • *points at Louis* “that one’s gay” (mom, TMH)
  • They are so obviously gay and in love 
  • 30 sec into the first video, she turns to me and goes “and why are people arguing about whether they’re a couple or not? (mom, videos)
  • 'oh he’s the gay one isn’t he?’ I was like ye with Harry and then she replied with 'he’s definitely gay but i can’t see so much about Harry, he has the possibility’ she came to me after the AMAs and was like 'yep your right sorry Harry is deffo gay’!! (TIU then AMAS 2014)
  • Well, I looked up Harry Styles yesterday and saw pictures of them and if they’re not together then I’m a damn fool (straight boy)
  • The camera guy should’ve moved away aand let him do his thing (AMAS, 2014)
  • Besides, I saw them on the AMAs, and that little one with the big hair probably has his hands full with the tall one in the hat that fake-dated Taylor Swift. (brother, AMAS 2014)
  • how do people not believe their together? They’re so fucking obvious, you’d think they already have kids. HE’S SUBMISSIVE, WITH A DADDY KINK? WHO’S THE LUCKY BASTARD?” He was shown a pic of Louis and his jaw dropped. “Makes so much sense.” (gay dad AMAS 2014, call me daddy tweet and little spoon)
  • They are so so obvious, I can’t believe people still don’t believe it. (dad)
  • I kinda know what you’re trying to say, ok? I’m 62 years old, and if you believe they’re in a romantic relationship, then you’re not crazy. Curly was serenating him and Arched Brows liked it (mom, AMAS 2014)
  • And after that kind of statement you needed to ask me if I think they’re in a relationship? Haha, you’re funny (same mom, Mario Kart int.)
  • holy shit dude they’re together. (co-worker, Mario Kart int)
  • I’m not a Larry shipper per se, but even I’m like: so he was with Louis (outsider at Jesal’s not with Louis tweet)
  • IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!! (mom, 40 yo)
  • well that explains all the leaning in
  • they make the goggliest heart eyes, it’s so bad
  • Laaaa’, you didn’t tell me two of them were banging each other. Why no one’s talking about it (brother, 15 yo, video diaries)
  • Ok, they weren’t only banging each other, they’re fucking married. Should I tell my classmates to stop fantasizing over them? (same brother after AMAS 2014)
  • it’s the way they look at each other. Louis doesn’t look like that with his gf and Harry doesn’t look at anyone else like he looks at Louis. (12 yo, AMAS 2014)
  • which one of the boys is your favorite?’ and I said it was Louis and she was like 'Harry’s husband?’ (mom, WWA DVD)
  • Oh my gosh, he’s gay! He’s so gay! It’s so obvious! (mom, “Now kiss me you fool”)
  • So what’s up with him and the teeny tiny one? Are they married? (aunt)
  • and people still doubt and question whether they’re in a relationship?! (oldest sister, when jealous Harry grabbed Louis’  leg in the interview)     
      

Harry sexuality vs narrative not adding up

  • Why would someone straight have so many PR stunts
  • This is like the scene in the movie where you realize all the red strings on your wall of clues and suspects point to the same place: Harry Styles’s butthole
  • You can’t have a womanizer who looks miserable with women can you?
  • it was just the vibe that I got from him. He’s very flirty and charming in person towards basically everyone around him, men and women alike, but he just seemed a lot more comfortable around other men. Also just the way he carries himself is much more feminine than most straight men that I know. And that doesn’t always mean definitely gay, but in a room where the majority of the men were openly and comfortably gay, he didn’t stick out as the lone straight man, is basically what I’m saying
  • sorry but I’m pretty sure he’s gay
  • Makes sense I had a feeling Harry liked boys so I was confused when he pushed a girl to him.
  • I think you should like the Irish one honey, I think harry is gay
  • The one boy with the curly hair, Harry Styles, I like him” and I was like yeah lol so do I why because it was out of no where and he goes, “He’s just so like funny and doesn’t care. He’s gay, right? I see him and he acts gay and people ask him but he doesn’t answer just acts more gay, It’s rad. And then the next day I come back and he goes “What about Louis? Is he gay too?”
  • I didn’t know that 1d guy is gay (someone looking at Louis and Harry on the phone of the person who they sat next to)
  • “is the hottie also gay? This is beautiful, he’s singing to the other one!” (1D day, little things)
  • the broomstick and the elf need to stop staring at each other or people are gonna think something’s up (dad, AMAS 2014)
  • "is the curly haired one gay” and then when Louis was talking about his deepest love my brother said “I bet you he’s talking about the curly haired one” (brother, 1d TV special)
  • that harry styles, he likes the older men (dad, Graham Norton)   
  • Brother: I didn’t know they were a couple. I thought this one (points at Harry) was the only gay member. (brother)
       

Louis sexuality vs narrative not adding up

  • If Louis comes out later this year or next year, I guarantee that no one in Doncaster over the age of 16 is going to be remotely surprised or shocked. /Doncaster resident
  • He stood there about 30 seconds pointed at Louis and said “he’s gay.” Everyone can see it.  (42 yo boss upon hearing 1D)
  • ahhh like Elton John, I’m not surprised (grandma)
  • No one, I repeat no one, from the general Doncaster area would be surprised if Lou was gay. My little sister is his age, and I remember when 1d were on the xfactor, all of her friends used to talk about him being gay. All the lads I grew up with think he’s gay, it’s a common opinion there

HL narrative not adding up

  • Never put together in interviews or seated next to each other.
  • They want to quell the rumors because they’re actually true.
  • How Harry has all his tattoos on one arm and Louis on another (this was before the tats on Louis’ left hand)
  • The more Harry and Louis blatantly ignore each other onstage, the more I get confirmation that something is going on between them that is trying to be covered up. There is absolutely no reason for the complete 180 in interaction. The other guys have had rumors as well, but they still talk all the time.
  • it is very clear that louis and harry can’t interact, I found it weird cause I didn’t see it much in that performance like I didn’t think it was that noticeable, maybe I’m used to it, but I then showed him their cute interaction and he said no wonder they can’t it takes 5 secs to know they are more than just friends haha (dad, iheartradio 2014)
  • 50+ year old man watched that special just to see how H&L acted together & he said they are the reason he wants to listen to Four
  • Brother, 30 m. later: Oh. So they say “We are straight”, and then get coule tattoos and look obviously gay together. Funny. The girlfriend (makes air quots) is pretty though. (brother)
  • but when I mentioned the public separation, she came to a stop. And then she said: 'Well, that sounds fishy. Why would they be separated if there was nothing going on? That doesn’t make any sense.’ Ding, ding ding. (mother)

Shady shit

  • it’s the only explanation that makes sense. There comes a time when coincidences stops being coincidences and starts being a pattern, you know? 
  • how Louis’ family made it a point to let everyone know that Harry was there
  • we saw pics of him mingling with Louis’ family and none of Eleanor with Louis family
  • You don’t waste your time and your energy to hide somethings that is supposed to be false
  • Either they have the worst team ever or they are laying low before something big hits
  • they aren’t disproving the rumor solidly besides on twitter because they know they will lose many fans (Larries) by disproving it
  • Wow, they surely have an iron grip on them, is it because two of them are involved? ..<>… Hahaha please, everybody knows! (friend from the music industry)
  • my mom came to me this morning and asked me about larry stylinson. out of the blue asked me 'what and who is larry stylinson’. this is a 45 year old woman who has literally /no/ time to read the news, watch tv or anything because of the workload she has so the fact that she comes up to me and asks this completely baffled me. turns out she had read more than three articles on different websites in between a week on different days (shes kinda hooked on 1d drama despite not having the time) and had picked up on larry stylinson because it had been mentioned. these articles were all different. one to do with zayn leaving, the tour rider and louis and eleanor. she said to me that when she was dealing with a case one time (she works for the police and works in liason with journalists on seeding info abt crimes in the media so that its less of a shock when people find out) that everytime they got closer to the suspect being found guilty they kept mentioning his/hers name more &more contand she said to me that she found it interesting that this name had been mentioned a lot of times. i said to her that there used to be literally no larry articles once and she said that somethings going to happen and whilst we all know this what with seeding and everything it was just nice to see an outsiders perspective on it. she also mentioned that the two pictures of h&l together would help coax younger fans who might read articles into seeing them together which i found interesting as well!

 Had an idea

  • I fucking knew it
  • The one.. I think Lewis (yes he said it that way) is his boyfriend right?
  • he looks at Louis and goes hey isn’t that the one who’s dating that styles kid?
  • the group with the two boys in love with other
  • is it true Harry and Louis are together?  (12 yo)
  • he is WITH LOUIS AND FANS CALL THEM LARRY’ AND I WAS LIKE WHOA WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS FROM , she found it on the web and she said rumours about his sexuality were also on the tv this is how spread this is guys my grandma found it (grandma)
  • that one on the left gay (harry) the 20 yo in the seat next to me goes yeh he is with that one whose staring at him (louis) the stylist replied with oh yeah ive heard about those two (hahir stylist) 
  • mum was looking over my shoulder and when Liam said 'a song about beards because that’s new’ or whatever, she went 'huh no it’s not, that tiny one and his twin have been pretending to be dating for a while now’ (mom)
  • is it because he’s dating the curly haired one?“ (friend’s reaction after hearing that some fans hate Louis)
  • The other day i was talking to my best friend (a bloke, not interested in 1d at all, who barely knows their names) and 1d came up in our conversation. He was trying to remember their names and he goes like "there’s the blond one, uh, and then there are the two who are together…”. 
  • Today some of my friends from grad school were gossiping about celebs and 1D came up, which never happens in my circle. I casually brought up that two of the members were dating. One of them asked me which two so I start to say “Harry and…"and I got interrupted my other friend says "Louis.” The whole group shrugs at me like its old news.         

You don’t do this with a friend.

  • I mean is that normal? Is it? For your best friend to get into a relationship with a girl and you go and get a compass right after he gets a ship? Not even a full day later? Is that normal?
  • they’re acting like that awkward couple that has so much chemistry and everyone wants them to date cause they look so cute together
  • I don’t think I’ve ever looked at someone like that in my entire fucking life. There was so much flirting between them Jesus.
  • she saw Louis and Harry sharing one of their 'looks’ and immediately went 'Oh, these two like each other, don’t they? (video diaries)
  • I have only seen that look once.“ and I was so confused so I asked where and he said "My dad looked at my mom that way till the last moment he held her hand (grandpa)
  • I saw a gif set of the infamous "if that” moment. Louis’ response made me suspicious b/c that’s not how a straight guy would normally talk about his best friend’s gf
  • little sister who is kind of a her girl, and my mum and brother were like 'who is the gay one?’ and she got really angry but when they saw Louis it was so funny they were pointing at him saying it as him (AMAS 2014) 
  • How come people don’t know?! They’re so obvious. Look at the way they look at each other. (mom)

Tattoos

  • it’s obvious that a lot of their tattoos are a matching set
  • We should get those! I can get the ship, and you the anchor cus you keep me grounded (boyfriend to his girlfriend after seeing the anchor and rope- no faces shown)
  • okay but why can’t they just be together (anchor/rope tattoo)
  • yeah the birds have like human faces/eyes. (dad)
  • I’ve been married for 10 years now, and I still don’t think I’d get a couple tattoo with my husband don’t tell him
  • i jokingly asked ‘so who’s gonna get the rope tattoo and who’s gonna get the anchor’ and she turns to her husband and says ‘that’s so cute it’s the same concept as if i get a lock and you get the key’ and he laughs and i continue just pitching out other ideas for complimentary tattoos and bring up the compass and the ship and gave a brief explanation and she LOVED it so i continued and said ‘maybe you should tattoo it on opposite arms so when you hold hands or walk next to each other it would align’ and he looks at me and goes ‘that’s too much no one does that’ and she laughs and says ‘do you know people that has that’
  • absolutely, no way, too much commitment. (about getting complementary tattoo)
  • ‘So his mum or someone has the rope,’ she said, and when I told her it was Louis she was pretty taken back and ranted about how they were ‘pretty fucking stupid.’ And I was like, ‘they don’t just have one matching pair, they have six.’
  • I asked him like the dork I am, if those tattoos are for couples or friends, he said: “Maybe one, but 3 or 4 that’s a bit too much don’t you think?” and then he pointed at the ship/compass and he went: “I actually thought they’re together when I saw only this… So…” (tattoo artist)
  • Yeah, they’re fucking. They might even be married, that’s legal in England, ain’t it? (tattoo artist)
  • our artist saw my phone background and said “two of those guys have to be dating. like you two are getting matching tats but those two, that’s different. my wife won’t even get tats like that with me” (tattoo artist)
  • Wait. Is this a dagger? Me: Yeah. Brother: Doesn’t the curly one have a rose? Me: Mhm. Brother: I didn’t know they were a couple. 

Hows?

  • Youtube videos
  • friend/family
  • internet
  • stunts not adding up
  • from other fandoms
Request: could I ask for a Gadreel oneshot where he's sent to be the reader's guardian angel and slowly falls in love with her because she's a kind person even though she doesn't see that about herself? (sorry this if this is too specific) (Also I adore your blog!! I love reading all the oneshots you write!)

(For brightstars-and-lightsshines. Loving the Gadreel requests! Hope you like it xx)


As he watched you cry softly on top of your bed, with your pain causing agony within him, Gadreel vividly remembered the day that he was let out of his cell in Heaven, the sole reason being strictly for penance as if the righteous torture they had been putting him through hadn’t been enough.

Lucifer had slipped past his guard and into the Garden of Eden so many years ago, and it had been the first time that he had seen what had become of Heaven ever since; he had savored the sight of his brothers and sisters, even though they looked upon him with contempt, for anything other than the bars of his prison seemed utterly magnificent to him. He hadn’t been able to revel in his Father’s kingdom for long, though, for he was promptly given his assignment for atonement on Earth: to watch over you.

The next thing that he had been conscious of was that he was standing in a bland room, obviously belonging to a hospital; Gadreel clearly heard the beeping of heart monitors, some slower than others, and the mixture of people crying in despair or happiness among the commanding voices of doctors and the comforting murmurs of nurses. All of those sounds had disappeared, though, when his gaze landed on the scene that was right in front of him: a mother and a father whispering to each other and smiling in bliss as they looked down at their sleeping newborn daughter. The angel had found himself being drawn towards the beautiful picture, more specifically, towards you; the bond that his Father had made between you and him had already been firm and strong.

You had suddenly opened your eyes, then, and he abruptly stopped in his slow advances towards you. Your eyes had been bright and shining as they looked around at your unfamiliar surroundings, none of it registering in your infant mind; Gadreel had been surprised when instead of looking into your mother’s eyes, they stared straight into his. He had been frightened that you could somehow see him, but the fear melted into warmth when you smiled a little toothless smile, finally meeting eyes with your parents; at that moment, he had felt foreign emotions run through him, protectiveness being the strongest one out of them.

Having been the guard of the Garden who had failed to keep the invasion of evil away, the vigilant feelings that had been present then had entered at that very moment. Being sent as your guardian was no longer an act of repentance; it was his duty, one that he would carry out to beyond the greatest of his ability. He had vowed that he would keep you safe from harm, and not allow any malevolence to influence you at any time; he was not going to disappoint himself again.

The years had past quickly with him constantly watching your every move and making sure that it wouldn’t lead to you getting hurt. Over time, the angel had realized your greatest trait: you were the kindest, most genuine mortal that he had ever seen, but it got you into misfortunate situations sometimes.

Gadreel smiled to himself despite your current sorrowful state as the memory of when you were twelve crossed his mind. You had been playing in your yard while your parents had been unloading the car of groceries when you came across a small toad at your feet, and the angel had watched on curiously as you picked it up.

“You’re a long way from home,” you had murmured to it. “Your family must be missing you; nobody deserves to be alone like this.”

He had been so caught up in your gracious words that it didn’t cross his mind that you had started to walk across the street with intentions of bringing the toad to a creek near your house; a car had come barreling down the street, and you were paralyzed with panic. Gadreel had whisked you out of the way just in time, glaring at the car as he held you in his arms, the ones that you couldn’t feel around you; you had felt a sense of calm, though, and it had soothed your shaking form.

When his arms had been replaced by your parents’, the angel had felt a rush of affection, something that he didn’t understand back then.

“I almost failed,” he had told himself miserably, brushing off the ardent feelings as irrelevant as he focused on your safety. “Father, help me, I’ve almost failed You again…I’ve almost failed her.”

Your clemency, the cause of your vulnerability, brought about a lot more mishaps as you grew up, from being talked into bad things in middle school to being used in a relationship in high school. Each time that you had gotten hurt, Gadreel slowly started to realize that guarding you with everything he was was not only a way to prove himself good to Heaven again; it was also showing him the emotion that he thought he could never possibly feel in his existence: love.

He so desperately wanted to reach out to you and physically hold you, make you able to hear his voice as he whispered consolation into your ears with all the affection he had for you as you continued your crying in front of him, whispering to yourself.

“I’m easy to be used because I’m just too nice?” You almost laughed as you asked the question to no one in particular; it seemed very silly to you. “I’m not a very kind person; I have just as much meanness as everyone else does.”

"No, you do not,” Gadreel spoke up accidentally, and his voice resonated in your head; he realized his mistake at once as you looked around in bewilderment, clenching his fists in order to keep himself from materializing. It was against the rules to show himself to you, but the emotions he had towards you were fighting against those regulations.

He was relieved when you shook off his voice as a fragment of your imagination, which turned into concern again as tears started to streak down your face once more. “Whatever; it’s not as if anybody truly cares.”

But I do!

He wanted to shout so badly, but doing that would be audacious and he knew that it wouldn’t take much for Heaven to revoke him of his job. So instead, he sat down on your bed next to you, trying his best to focus on not making himself visible as he put all of his energy into comforting you; he enveloped you in a strong hold, and your tears almost immediately stopped as tranquility overtook you.

Gadreel then spread his wings, looking at them with disdain as he saw that some feathers were still broken and missing from his torture in Heaven; not paying them anymore mind, he covered you with them, and a feeling of warmth and being wanted spread through you. It wasn’t long until the pain completely ebbed, and you were soon sleeping in what you didn’t know were the angel’s arms. He carefully laid you down in a comfortable position, standing over you for a few moments as we watched you rest with a placid expression on your face.

“I care for you, Y/N,” He spoke softly, lovingly brushing back a lock of your hair behind your ear. “One day, you will know just how much you matter to me.”

My long overdue, super detailed, spoiler-y-ish review of The Fault In Our Stars movie!

Basically this movie was everything I ever wanted it to be. I know that sounds cheesy and you might be saying “you’re stupid, there must’ve been something wrong” but I can honestly 100% say that it is the best book to screen adaption that I’ve ever seen. I felt everything all over again, the happiness, the love, the anxiety, the sadness, the fear. No other book adaption has ever made me feel the same exact emotions in the same exact way that I felt when reading.

Let’s start with the overall feel of the film. I had my concerns that it was gonna be this goopy, cheesy, yuck-fest but everything was so real and genuine. Seriously, it felt like a true teenage love story, they were funny, awkward, they talked like kids (but in the intelligent way that we know they do), they acted their age. Nothing felt fake or forced, you believed that these were real people.

*****IF YOU’RE AVOIDING SPOILERS DO NOT KEEP READING*****

Casting

Hazel-When I initially heard about Shailene’s casting, I’ll admit, I was really concerned, I had only ever seen her in an episode or two of that god-awful American Teenager show and I was less than impressed with her acting. But I have to say, I could not see anyone else has Hazel, she plays her so well, intelligent, humble, self deprecating, strong. She is book-Hazel. I was surprised to hear how much narration she has throughout the film, I thought they were gonna cut it out completely or pretty significantly but nope, all that dialog you hear in the book is there. She captures her whole essence so well, even her look. I know this mainly has to do with the costumers and creative directors but everything from her baggy, mis-matched clothes to her, simple hair, makeup-less face, unkempt eyebrows and even her mannerisms and line delivery are just absolutely spot on. Some of my favorite scenes were one’s that relied totally on her acting, not the love story. Like when she’s leaving Van Houten’s, after all the screaming, yelling, and douchepants-ing, she gives him a big “Go Fuck Yourself” and seriously I have never heard more thunderous applause in a movie theater. Also the Eulogy. Oh My God the Eulogy. That scene was flawless and where nearly everyone lost it. It was so genuine but still light hearted, it hurt so much to watch her say goodbye to someone who was sitting right in front of her. All it is her simply talking to Gus, no fluffy montages or crazy music, it’s just Shailene in her element. She was so believable, truly.

Augustus-Ansel Elgort, Jesus Christ this kid is probably the most beautiful human specimen I’ve ever seen. I was an exception when it came to him, I was never concerned with his lack of dark hair and light blue eyes but I was skeptical of his acting simply because he was basically an unknown at the time of his casting but he is undoubtedly the Augustus Waters. His line delivery is what probably got me to love him the most. He simply acts like Gus would, he’s silly yet direct, sarcastic yet genuine. He never delivers for the sake of the line, it’s all for the sake of the moment. I don’t think I can explain to you guys how he literally was born for this role, you’ll just have to wait and see. But seriously, my sister HATED his casting, she’s one of those casting-nazis, the kind that shits over an eye color or hair that is even a shade lighter than expected. But when I say that she left that theater in love, I shit you not, that’s exactly what happened. She fell in love with Gus allover again, Ansel did that to all of us, he brought Gus to life in a way that I could’ve never anticipated. Aside from the obvious sides of his personality, there are certain elements that really got to me. One of those being Gus’ limp. I know this seems small but I was so concerned that the fact that he had a prosthetic would barely be addressed or cut out completely (*cough* Peeta Mellark *cough*) but this kid committed, he was always aware of the leg, swinging it over, dragging it a bit, he never faltered. Also there’s his goofy side, the scene when they’re in the plane is totally adorable, he’s terrified and astounded all at the same time. He seriously provides so many laugh, the trophy scene, and the car-egging scene are some standouts. I’m not sure if you guys saw the b-roll footage, but the delivery of the 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 2 and a half pairs of working lungs" line was fucking great. Ands then there’s the gas station scene, it was so hard to watch, you’re seeing this guy who has been so idyllically built up only to be ripped down and forced to face his harsh reality in the worse possible way. He looks repulsive in the best way, he’s white with blue lips, has blood shot eyes, covered in his own vomit and just so broken to the point where he’s barely coherent. I was so impressed with Ansel here, he made me feel devastated and hopeless, my heart broke for him. You guys will have to wait to see the rest since he has so many awesome one liners that I can’t remember along with the lines we all know and love. But seriously, Ansel nailed it.

Isaac-Nat nailed this role, he’s a total scene-stealer. He’s not in the movie much, only 5 or so scenes come to mind but in each of them he’s the star. First of all the trophy scene. You start out all sad for him because of what Monica did but once we gets to the destruction it’s al laughs from there, he’s actually totally in the background, blurred out by Hazel and Gus who are having a conversation in the foreground but the way in which he goes about breaking stuff is so great. That scene as a whole is just perfect. Also the egging scene as well as his eulogy were spot on, again, everything is so believable.

Hazel’s Parents-I NEVER expected to like these two so much, in the book they simply felt like another element but I fell in love with her parents, their scenes were actually some of the toughest to watch, there pain is so evident yet they still maintain a sense love and hilarity. I was pleasantly surprised in what a big role they ended up playing, I loved seeing their relationship and even how they interacted with Gus. (also I have an old man crush on her dad…unf.)

Van Houten-I’ll be honest, I never truly developed my own idea of this character so I was kinda open to what they had in store but Willem Dafoe is exactly the kind of douchepants I never knew I needed. You seriously want to clock this guy in the face. The scene in his house just makes you hate him and it plays out exactly as it did in the book. You get a sense of his craziness, the point where he starts blasting Swedish rap is hilarious but you still want to hate him. Even when you start to sympathize with him after learning about his daughter, you still think, “yeah, I feel bad for this guy and he’s nuts but still, he can go back to his hermit shell now”

Specific scenes

Support group-There are two support group scenes, the first one, we learn about Patrick and his balls and the miserable life he leads, It’s hilarious! and we even get a look at his life through a little montage. The second is the one where Gus is introduced, the awkward staring is done perfectly.

Gus’ Driving-This was not omitted, Gus drives like a crazy son of a bitch and he and Hazel discuss cancer perks

Any scene where Hazel and Gus simply talk-There’s a ton of these so I’m just gonna clump them all but every conversation driven scene is great and they help lay the foundation for the relationship. Some of my favorites were actually their text conversations, pretty much all of them are in there and their text bubbles actually pop up to make the conversations easy to read, some goes for all their phone conversations, They’re all there and done exactly as they were in the book.

The trophy scene-I mentioned this one before but again, it’s hilarious, a ton of great one-liners by both Gus and Isaac.

The Disney World discussion-It’s there along with the “I can’t believe I have a crush on a girl with such cliché wishes line”

The plane to Amsterdam-this scene is shortened from that in the book but the way that Ansel conveys Gus’ nervousness with amazement is priceless

Orangee-Such an adorable part, when Gus proclaims his love you’ll feel like a puddle of goo

Van Houten’s house-A great scene where Hazel’s strength really shines. The “Go Fuck Yourself” line that I mentioned before is one of my favorite moments,

The Anne Frank House-This part is SO beautiful, every element works so well. The emotion of the setting mixed with Hazel’s drive to make it up the stairs and the spoken dialogue (done by Anne Frank, not Otto Frank like in the book) just leads up to the kiss which is so beautiful and passionate. You can just feel everything changing at that specific moment, it’s truly the films turning point.

The sex scene-real, honest, sexy, tender and sweet. There’s nothing gratuitous. Some of the book dialogue is there but most has been simplified, those omitted are not missed though, their chemistry is at its height and they still feel like teenagers. Also the speak so softly during this scene, which is why I think I loved the dialogue so much.

Gus reveals his remission-Heartbreaking. The second he says the “lit up like a Christmas tree” line, the sobs started and never stopped

Eggs-FUCKING HILARIOUS, great moments from all three

The Gas Station-I covered this before but your hear will break, there’s no avoiding it. This scene was done perfectly.

Hazel discussing the future with her parents-A great scene, you feel every emotion that every person involved is feeling

The Eulogy Scene-Top notch acting my Shai, Ansel and Nat, you will cry. You will.

The Call-Hazel never actually picks up the phone, she just breaks down and so will you

The Funeral-You never actually see Augustus in the casket, which I’m actually really thankful for. Hazel doesn’t say the “I love you present tense” line but she leaves the cigarettes and gives the bullshit Eulogy about his parent’s encouragements 

Van Houten at the Funeral-He’s still annoying, but you do feel pity when he talks about his daughter. He gives Hazel Gus’ letter but he spews some bullshit and she blows up on him, leading her to crumple up the letter.

Hazel reading the letter-This scene plays out a bit differently than in the book. After the funeral (same day) Hazel and her dad talk and then Isaac comes over to discuss things and mentions Gus’ correspondence with Van Houten thus leading Hazel to go to her car and find the crumpled up letter. She reads it, Gus narrates and a montage of their best moments shows, it’s not cheesy at all though and you see him sneaking into the ICU to see her when she’s unconscious. The movie ends the same way the book does with the letter finishing up and an overhead shot of Hazel holding the letter. Ed’s song plays and you will cry yourself to death.

***SPOILERS***

Some specific things I can remember off the top of my head

-The movie starts the same way the trailer does, the whole “you can sugarcoat it blah blah blah” thing

-You get a hilarious montage about Patrick and his ball cancer along with some songs about his undying love for Jesus

-The Staring scene during the second support group scene is GOLD

-The metaphor scene is longer than the one that’s already out there

-Isaac grabs a whole lotta boob when you see him making out with Monica

-They don’t watch V for Vendetta but there is a poster in Gus’ room

-As I mentioned before, Ansel walks with a limp throughout the whole movie, he also lifts up his pants to show the prosthetic, wears shorts, lies in bed with it clearly showing and there’s a shot of his stump after the sex scene when they’re cuddling naked

-The text conversations are shown by these little text bubbles that pop up, they’re white line art and are hand-drawn so they go with the motif of the movie art. Emails are also shown by popping up on the screen

-There’s one tiny little complaint have and that’s the use of “tumblr-language” I’m gonna call it. There’s multiple occasions where lines like “what is this life?” and “I can’t even” are used. It’s not an issue, it just came off a bit forced 

-Kaitlyn has been totally omitted but you won’t miss her

-Same goes for Gus’ siblings so there’s no “seeing me naked took Hazel Grace’s breath away” line

-John’s Cameo did not make it in thus no little girl asks about Hazel’s cannula

-The blind video game scene is gone so no “Hump the moist cave wall”

-The swing-set selling this is omitted and it is never referred to as “the vaguely pedophilic swing-set of tears”, just “the swing-set of tears.” You don’t see them selling it but it’s gone at the end of the movie.

-Gus’ ex-girlfriend with brain cancer has been totally cut out

-Gus comes to hazels house before they go to the airport so you never hear the fight between him and his parents thus his remission is a total surprise…well for those who haven’t read the book

-You never see them in the airport, it leads straight from Hazel’s house to the plane

-Hazel says “Go Fuck Yourself” to Van Houten before leaving his house

-The girl who plays Lidewij has great hair (just a thought) she also comes of extremely caring

-Anne Frank narrates during the kissing scene instead of Otto Frank. It’s an absolutely gorgeous scene

-The sex scene is very tender and soft, some dialog has been omitted but there’s still a ton there. You don’t see any actual sex but Gus is shirtless as well as Hazel who takes off both her shirt and bra, they later snuggle naked which is when you see Gus’ stump

-There’s a ton of beautiful interactions between Gus and Hazel when Gus is sick

-The Eulogy is almost word for word exactly the same as the book

-The movie actually feels a lot longer than I thought it would, which I’m really thankful for :)

That’s all I can think of for now but I promise you, everything about this movie was done right, seriously no major complaints whatsoever. By biggest tip is to not go into it wanting to find differences, and if you haven’t started already, DO NOT re-read the book before seeing the movie, I think that’s why I loved it so much because I wasn’t focusing on changes, just the story itself. 

You will leave this moving feeling everything that you felt while reading, I've never had that before with a movie but I promise, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted the adaption to be.

I can’t wait for you guys to see it.

If you guys want to know anything else, feel free to message me.

Okay? 

Okay.

Needing Easy

When I was younger, I had a habit of making things much harder for myself than necessary. I procrastinated important deadlines. I made horrible financial decisions in the name of instant gratification and then found myself sick to my stomach when I needed to, like, pay my rent. I threw myself into terrible relationships with people I loved but also knew did not love me back or did not love me nearly as much as I loved them. 

To be clear, I have had lovely, mutually considerate relationships. I have been loved. I am loved.  And still, there is a part of me that enjoys suffering, that enjoys the masochism of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, among other things.  

On Friday I drove to Columbus, OH to be the keynote speaker and give a workshop at the Columbus State Writers Conference. It was a three hundred mile drive and I got a lot of thinking done. The conference was wonderful–really great participants and a warm audience. I did a book signing and, of course, worried that no one would want to buy my book or have me sign it. There was even a display with all my books. I wanted to cry. None of it feels real, especially some things coming up that I can’t tell you about yet but will soon. None of it feels real.

A young woman said I was a celebrity to her. Many people had gorgeously generous things to say about my writing. I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t mean that in a “cute” way. It simply feels like they are talking about someone else. I am just me. I am a girl who loves to write and who has always loved to write and who, yes, loves when her writing is loved.

I signed a young woman’s hand.

Anyway, I haven’t been cooking lately because I’ve been traveling so much. Before I headed home, I went to Whole Foods to get some groceries. I wanted to taste something fresh. It was basically peak Whole Foods at that place, packed with eager suburbanites and overly earnest employees with artfully modified bodies.

I wanted to cook on Sunday but man, I wanted something easy so I bought ingredients to make pizza that would involve very little labor–mushrooms, ripe black olives, basil, mozzarella, whole wheat pizza dough, and tomato sauce. I felt some shame as I spooned the olives into the plastic tub. I thought, “Humanity, how we have fallen.”  I was quietly thrilled because there were so many exotic choices, which only quickened my shame.

While I was driving I was thinking about patterns and history and habits. I’ve gotten better about many things because I simply reached a point in my life where certain kinds of struggle, certain kinds of suffering hold little appeal. I pay my bills on time. Whenever I possible I make deadlines. I check my luggage because I am not going to drag a suitcase all over the damn airport. I get my oil changed.

In relationships, though, I must still need suffering. I don’t know how to break the habit of loving people who won’t or can’t love me back in the way I want, need, and have come to understand, in the way I deserve. My feelings are true, my desires are real, but it’s like I have to give myself an insurmountable obstacle by loving someone unattainable.

I am speaking generally here and not about a particular person or relationship.

Part of me does this because I still believe in fairy tales, in happily ever after. I want to break myself of that. I don’t want to break myself of hope or wonder but I do want to break myself of delusion. 

I got the dough out and it was just a ball and I wondered how I was going to make it bigger.

Real talk: I just giggled because in my head I made a sex joke. Ball. Bigger. HA HA HA. 

Real talk: I did try to get all fancy like pizza makers on TV. I threw the dough in the air and when I caught it, the dough hadn’t really changed shape. That shit is not as easy as it looks. Eventually I just started manipulating the dough until it stretched into a shape resembling a pizza. 

This morning my ex texted me. Or, I should say, an ex. He wrote, “i heard ur leaving town, wanna hang?”

And I stared at my phone because I know him. He ain’t slick. He was asking, “Wanna have sex?”

Why didn’t he just ask that? We’ve never been coy with each other. We have been transactional. Why did he not spell you’re? Why did he pick today? Why does he still work my last nerve? Why is my number still in his damn phone? Why is his in mine?

Re: that last question, I am too lazy to delete people from my phone. 

Then I had to face the worst part of myself, the part that will probably, at some point, answer his stupid text message, and spend time with a person I truly cannot stand who truly does not deserve me or my time or my body because there is that part of me that can’t shake thinking, “Who are you to say no?" 

More than twenty years of my life, it still comes back to this question. Who am I to say no?

I added tomato sauce to the pizza dough and rubbed it around. Whatever. This part of the process wasn’t interesting.

While I was cooking, I was also watching Game of Thrones. After last week’s shit show of an episode, I should have known that this week’s episode would offer up more of the same degradation of the female body but there I was, watching the show. There I was, inviting suffering and that suffering was satisfied with a long, miserable scene of women being raped as a backdrop to a scene I couldn’t even focus on because I was so flummoxed by the callous spectacle. 

I sliced some black olives and baby bella mushrooms and fresh basil and threw that on top of the dough and I thought about how angry certain things make me. I have no problem with violence in entertainment. I have no interest in censoring creative expression. I do believe women and their bodies deserve more respect and consideration in entertainment. I resent that this is something for which we need to ask. I really fucking resent it.

Sometimes, it is a real challenge holding conflicting beliefs and desires, to welcome certain kinds of suffering but to very much want to see less unnecessary suffering in the shows and movies I want to watch, to very much want people, the world over to be free from suffering they do not choose. I don’t know how to reconcile these things. Perhaps they cannot be reconciled. 

On Friday, I leave on a book tour. I’m going all over the place. I am irrationally worried about the usual things–no one coming to the events, people hating the book and telling me all about that hatred, (AN UNTAMED STATE IS OUT ON MAY 6 IF YOU WANNA BUY IT), no one wanting to hang out with me socially in cities where I know people, leaving me alone in hotel rooms all across America, the book doing so poorly I never sell another book. I can worst case scenario like a motherfucker. 

I never know how much cheese to put on pizza so I basically threw the entire container on there. 

There is a profile of me in Poets & Writers and an article about me in Chicago Magazine. I feel exposed. It scares me to share so much of myself. I don’t want the focus on me. I am just me. The writing is what matters, not the writer, right? But still, both of these pieces are lovely, and really thoughtfully written. I read Poets & Writers when I was a zygote of a writer. To see my name on the cover, and to see such a substantial article written about me in the magazine, is really wonderful.  I keep reminding myself, I have worked for this. There is also luck involved, but I have worked hard for this. Joey Fatone is hosting a show on Food Network. That makes me sad. Luck doesn’t last very long it seems. 

I threw the pizza into the oven for about 20 minutes at 450 degrees because I wanted it to be brown and bubbly on top.Then I garnished with more fresh basil. The pizza turned out well. It tasted fresh. It was easy and I really needed some easy. I want more easy in my life. Easy feels far better than I’ve heretofore allowed myself to realize. I do not know how to reconcile this either.

Where Butterflies Never Die

Summary: A companion piece to This Isn’t Everything You Are. A What If scenario told from Max’s point of view.

Where Butterflies Never Die
You watch him curled up on the floor, crying, trembling, bruised face, blue eyes full of fear and you just can’t help it.
You frown.
A pang in your chest.
You wonder with bewilderment.
Is this Nathan Prescott?
Nathan Prescott who shot Chloe in the girl’s bathroom.
Nathan Prescott, the guy who threatened you.
Nathan Prescott, the one who beat up Warren.
Nathan Prescott, the guy who calls you insults as much as you take photographs
Nathan Prescott, the guy who drugged Kate.
Nathan Prescott, a serial killer.
And yet…
You should have left a long time ago. Warren and Chloe already left the dorm; they’re probably waiting for you outside.
You should go.
But here you are. Staring at the boy on the floor.
A sob. More sniffs. Then-
“Everybody hates me”
You feel your heartstrings being pulled by an invisible chord. You swallow nothing.
Disbelief would not be enough to describe how you’re feeling right now. It must be a dream, you tell yourself because there’s no way Nathan Prescott is breaking down in front of you, there is no way you’re feeling sorry for him.
There’s no way this is happening.
But he’s still there.
And you’re still there too, watching him with morbid incredulity fascination
You hate him.
You know you do and you should for all the shit he has done.
In fact, you should be gloating, mocking him, throwing him back every insult he has ever said your way.
Even so, seeing him like this…It feels wrong.
You can’t bring yourself to do it.
Instead, you take two steps closer.
He curls in himself further if that’s even possible.
As if possessed, you reach out a shaking hand. You’re not conscious you’re even doing it.
It’s like you’re in auto pilot.
Your fingers are grazing his arm when he flinches.
Nathan Prescott flinches, backs away from you, scared. Really scared.
Backs away from you as if you’re going to hurt him.
In that moment, you do not feel pity for him. You do
You do not feel tears prickling in your eyes. You do
You don’t understand what’s happening.
If the tornado is actually coming for Arcadia Bay it might as well be now. You never thought you’d see the king of assholes in this way.
This is not Nathan Prescott, you realize. Or at least he’s not one you know.
Because the Nathan Prescott you know is dangerous, psychotic, rude and self entitled.
The Nathan Prescott you know wouldn’t be cowering on the floor, avoiding your stare, shaking and apologizing as if he knows he has done something wrong.
As if he knows he deserved the beating. You think he didn’t deserve it.
You’re truly and utterly confused.
Against your better judgment, you try reaching for him again.
“Don’t touch me” He whimpers and, finally meets your gaze.
Your hand freezes in the air. Your whole body freezes actually, and when you feel your throat constrict, you know you were holding your breath.
Oh God.
For as long as you’ve known Nathan his eyes always looked glazed over, almost like he was either very medicated or simply blazed.
His eyes looked at you. At the same time, his eyes weren’t really looking.
Lost
Right now though, right now he’s looking at you.
There’s no blur, no glaze, nor rage or disgust to hide behind. This time there’s only clear pretty blue irises and you-
You hate it.
It’s so much better worse now.
Without any kind of barrier shadowing the emotions in his cerulean orbs everything is out in the open.
And it’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen.
Why?
You realize that right there, with your eyes meeting his head on, hand stretched out, his face covered in blood and cuts and bruises he is just-
Broken.
Precious
You don’t know how to deal with a broken Nathan Prescott.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your throat feels dry.
Your hands start itching, in the same way they do whenever you get a photo op.
That’s impossible, Max. Don’t be silly.
There’s not a single thing around worth taking a shot.
There’s Nathan. Beautifully hurt Nathan.
You ignore the dark voice in your head, whispering, wanting for a camera to be in your hands in order to preserve this Nathan moment in time.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but this is no time for a picture.
So you get up, avert your eyes and start to say “I’m sorry for-
“Don’t” He cuts you off, pupils dilated from fear or something else.
The bruises contrast starkly with his pale complexion; red, purple paint in a white canvas. They’re practically glaring at you.
That’s your excuse for trailing them with your eyes over and over.
Before you can say anything else, Nathan scrambles for the wall, trying to lift his body up, grunting in pain. Automatically you try to help him get up.
You first feel the stinging sensation in the back of your hand.
Then, you process the fact he has just slapped your hand away.
“What the hell-
“Please, just stop, Max!”

His voice sounds so miserable and again, you find yourself at a loss of what to do.
You want to ask him so many things.
You don’t want to say anything.
You want to help him.
You want him to burn in his own personal hell.
You hate him.
Why am I doing this?
Why am I here?

Chloe is right, you decide.
You’re too soft on people, especially on those who certainly do not deserve any type of kindness from you or anybody else.
The broken boy mumbling nonsense on the floor moans in pain.
Your heart does not hurt for him.
It hurts so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happens next is a blur.
One moment he is being quiet, the next he’s screaming at the top of his lungs “FUCK THIS. I can’t handle this anymore. Screw everything!!!”
Sooner than you can react, he gets up from the floor and flies past you straight for the door.
You stand there dumfounded.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds.
Four seconds.
Five seconds.
Chloe!
Your mind literally screams.
How could you be so stupid?
You’re running out of the boys dorm in less than a heartbeat.
The scene that greets you outside chills your bones.
Chloe and Warren are staring wide eyed at an insane looking Nathan who somehow managed to take back his gun.
The gun that he’s now pointing at everyone in close proximity.
He’s yelling, profanities coming out of his mouth like gunshots. Hands in the air, gesticulating around wildly.
His voice is loud in the sudden silent tranquility that has cast itself upon every single person present.
You find yourself speaking up before you can stop.
“Nathan, listen to me. You need to calm down.”
“Calm down? CALM DOWN, REALLY?” Nathan turns around. And he still looks broken. His eyes are still unfogged. “What the fuck do you know, Max Caulfield? Huh?”
He briefly aims at you, and then switches to Chloe and Warren when he notices them move from the corner of his eye.
His stare remains on you, though.
“What do you know about me? You think you know everything don’t you”
He laughs humorlessly.
“Always getting on my case, always sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. WHAT DO YOU REALLY KNOW?!”
You flinch.
Chloe is mouthing something at you.
You don’t need to lip read to know what she’s saying.
Use your fucking power, Max.
Why don’t you?
You start to sweat.
The beginning of a headache.
Dizziness.
Slowly, you raise your hand and-
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Oh, shit.
Like on that rooftop two days ago, you’re on your own.
Once more, you’re scrambling for words you don’t have.
Nathan beats you to it.
“Not gonna say anything? What, cat got your tongue, bitch?” His tone is a mix between mocking and…
Sad?
“Well, how convenient. When it matters, you don’t have fucking anything to say. But what about when we were in the principal’s office? What about that? You were so fucking talkative. Ready to spew shit about me when you know nothing. You hear me?! NOTHING”
His eyes look painfully tortured, the total opposite from his crazed expression.
“The Feminazi of Blackwell really thinks I hurt Kate, am I right?”
You stay quiet.
Every bone in your body is frozen.
How ironical.
Nathan shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. Nothing does” He chuckles.
If you hadn’t been standing so close you probably wouldn’t have heard him.
And he sounds so defeated, in his words something so final and conclusive you can’t help but feel anxious.
The storm is coming.
The boy with the stormy blue eyes starts moving forward.
You stand your ground.
He stops when there are only a few inches separating the two of you.
You’re practically breathing the same air.
Your hands are curled up in fists, your nails claw at the skin of your palms.
It hurts
Blood slides down your palms.
You swallow nothing.
Nathan stares at you.
Looks at you.
He seems to be memorizing every feature of your face.
You ignore the way his eyes linger on your lips.
Nathan presses the gun to your chest.
He sighs.
The entire world turns black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a ringing in your ears.
A constant ringing that just won’t go away.
Your vision is blurry, your head is swimming, swimming so fast you just can’t make a connection between thoughts.
You don’t know what happened.
You don’t know what is going on.
Everything is a jumbled mess.
Splotches of color-people?- pass in front of you. You’re not really sure since you can’t focus on anything at all.
Everything is shaking.
An earthquake?
Your knees fail you and you fall to the ground.
You don’t feel pain.
You don’t feel anything.
Numb.
You try to grab onto whatever you can, trying to regain your bearings and get a hold of yourself.
And you realize, there’s no earthquake.
The ground is not shaking.
You are.
This realization makes you notice other things.
Like the fact that there’s something wet and sticky on your shirt.
In your face.
In your hair.
Your mouth tastes funny.
Salty and metallic.
Just like-
While you were pondering this your mind decided to function again.
First, you regain your sense of hearing.
You can make out lots of screaming and some sobbing.
You don’t understand.
After that, your eyes stop seeing abstract figures.
You blink and out of habit, your eyes zoom in on Chloe.
Her mouth is hanging open, wide eyed, paralyzed in her spot.
Warren, next to her is the same.
You start to panic. What happened?
Shaking your head, you turn your gaze to the floor.
That’s when you see it.
Red.
Red all over.
So much red.
Blood.

Nathan Prescott lays on the ground, right in front of you.
A pool of red liquid surrounds his head.
Gaping hole on the side of his forehead. Right where the bullet went trough.
Brains are splattered on your clothes and the floor.
Your scream can be heard throughout the entire academy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You crawl on your hands and knees away from the body, sobs and tiny squeaks coming out of your mouth.
The smell is awful. You’re covered in it, it suffocates you.
You can’t breathe.
Your stomach spasms, and the next thing you know you’re retching, throwing up your breakfast, convulsions shaking your body.
Even when there’s nothing left, you keep trying to empty your stomach.
Your hands can barely support you.
Then you feel a pair of arms embrace you and they feel familiar.
Friend.
Safety.
Chloe.

She whispers soothing things in your ear. You don’t hear her words but it comforts you nonetheless.
You latch onto her and cry. Cry out like you never have in your eighteen years of life.
In Chloe’s arms you come undone.
You sob, scream, hold her tight because if you don’t you fear you’ll break apart.
You don’t know why you’re crying so much.
Maybe it’s because it feels like you have lost a part of yourself.
Innocence
From above Chloe’s shoulder you get a glimpse of vacant, empty blue eyes.
There are no emotions in them.
No rage.
No hurt.
No sadness.
No disgust.
They’re not even glazed over.
That only makes you cry harder.
The storm came.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One hour after, when the police and the ambulance arrive and you have calmed down from the shock, you’ll look at his lifeless body.
You’ll mutter a prayer for his soul.
You will reach out a hand.
And when you rewind back time to the moment in the dorms (him trying to get you, calling you a nosy bitch, Chloe holding Nathan back and Warren head butting him) you will stop Warren from beating him to a pulp, you will stop Chloe from insulting him.
You, on your part, will try to not look at him and think about understanding, pity, blood and death.
You will try to not take the gun away from him and throw it out a window.
You will try to not follow him to his room.
You will try not to feel sorry for Nathan Prescott.
You will try not to think about his words before he shoot his brains out.
Beautiful.
What you will allow yourself to think about as you exit the dorm, however, is if you ever even knew a single thing when it came to Nathan Prescott.
If you whisper a silent (useless) thank you to God for your power, well…. Who could blame you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM OR WHO YOU’RE MESSING AROUND WITH”

~~~~~~~~~~~

HERE YOU CAN READ THE FIRST INSTALLMENT ——-> THIS ISN’T EVERYTHING YOU ARE

ALSO IN FANFICTION

What a FABULOUS episode. Well paced, great directing and acting. It was an episode that truly belonged to Eleanor Tomlinson. Her sarcasm, her anger, her sadness. HER LOVELY VOICE. Isn’t she perfect? I’m sure there is at least one co-star that would agree with me. 

First, I was right on my money when I assumed Demelza eating her breakfast in bed was about her owning the status of the lady of the house. Obviously she had moments during the show that she could be on this position, but never in the the house. She was always an asset of sorts, part because of her nurturing disposition so she just want to take care of things, but to me, this is also a lot about how in ways she still behaved like the kitchen maid. This also lead to another point I wrote about, also confirmed in this episode: How she put Ross in a pedestal and while they can be a great team, in her mind and I guess even in his there was still a slight master and servant dynamics. So Ross was always, to Demelza, once step above. If there is one thing I guess it’s good in this whole mess is that it squashes the entire thing down and like Demelza say, it’s the first time Ross is not even her equal, but below her. As much as that scene hurt, it was so layered and so filled with great insight and dialog only a couple of re-watches and a lot of thinking could give it entire justice. It’s layered and heartbreaking and I think it is felt for both of them. I don’t think it escape at all on Ross, but he is confused and ashamed (But he is also proud and inclined not to deal with his shit and he has no idea what to do in the situation). The tea scene for me it is the most resonant emotionally on the episode and the most interesting, part an act of rebellion, but honestly I think it is a moment where the power shift is there and I think it changes everything. 

And can I say how almost EVERYONE understimates Demelza so much and also Ross feelings for Demelza that they all expected Ross to hop on his horse first thing and be with Elizabeth? Not only Elizabeth and Demelza, but Aunt Agatha. I think it’s ironic how so many people by shallow reasons underrate her, some want use her also because they underrate her (I’m looking at all the men who wanted to sleep with her, including McNeil) while others can see all of her worth (Dwight’s remark on how lucky he is). Demelza outgrows all those people born with priviledge, but who doesn’t really do much with it. 

As far as Ross comes, instinctively, the idiot already knows who he loves. I don’t see much of ambiguous feelings about his struggle (It’s just that in the midst of his confusion he can’t see it clearly), but I do see a gradual letting the ideal of Elizabeth go; which he can finally do for reals when he sees her for the first time since the wedding. Ross is not hurt at that, he is I think, now sure that the chapter was closed for once. And sure that the enemy is now inside the house he spend most of his life. But even before, there is no explanation about him not going except it wasn’t what he trully wanted. He had all the facts: Elizabeth postponed the wedding and the window for them was open, Demelza more than once showed the way out, he knew she didn’t love George. If Ross trully loved Elizabeth he had the means and basically nothing much standing on the way to just go. But he can’t bring himself to. Demelza realizes what Ross doesn’t entirely know yet, but the truth is, he is also bound to her. I think it’s also in the books later where he says now this is the tragedy of a man who didn’t make up his mind. What for a while he didn’t, so he doesn’t get to give Elizabeth any closure and drags the whole thing with Demelza for a while. But trust me non book readers, the idiot knows. Deep down he rather sleep in that tiny bed in his library still minding Demelza’s business even when by logic he shouldn’t mind (But he so does and why he went to look out for her first thing) than to be comfortable at Trendwith.

I mean, geez, he looks Elizabeth straight in the face waiting for him at the window and go. NOPES. BYE. That’s cold (But a bit hilarious tbh).

Also, hilarious how I was thinking about Poldark in terms of Jerry Maguire (Another asshole who almost ruin everything up) and what do we have as their last scene? Ross having the best financial news he ever got in his miserable life and GUESS WHO IS THE FIRST PERSON HE WANTS TO SHARE WITH. Yup. His wife. I could almost swear he would pop out and go all you complete me. But he is not there yet. And yet. Doesn’t leave home. Goes after wife. Wants to share good news. I mean. God in hell, deep down HE KNOWS. 

(I’m sure there is more to say, maybe it will come with time)

The Art of Shipping: Olitz

I am slowly coming down from the Olitz high I have been experiencing since I watched the “Dog Whistle Politics” episode. WAHHHH it was so good!  So I figured, while I am still completely gushing and swimming drowning in my feels, I would use this opportunity to describe one of my favourite ships. 

Olitz (Olivia Pope & Fitzgerald Grant) have the best chemistry on TV. I became hooked from the first episode.  I am so invested in them. I feel the pairing is a casting director’s dream.  I mean I have many ships but out of all of them, Olitz have the BEST connection.  I have to give credit where credit is due: Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington are incredible actors and really provide something special for the viewers in the form of Olitz. I mean it’s so convincing that it has resulted in “Terry” shippers.  Do you know how problematic that is? LOOL! (I will leave that discussion for another day)

I root for Olitz as if I know them in real life. It’s a problem.  In my opinion, Fitz provides the best facial expressions to portray his love for Olivia. It is gorgeous to watch.  He has one of the best pining faces on TV. When he pines for Olivia, you hurt for him.  The moment where Olivia takes off Doux Bebe (her ring) and he notices made my heart ache. He was so distraught.  I wasn’t ready.  WAHHH! 

Originally posted by gifs-for-reference

Olivia eventually puts the ring back on and the joy on his face when he realises made my heart do somersaults. MY GASHHHHH! Come on!

Olivia and Fitz have amazing sexual chemistry. I think the way the show is directed is that when watching, a viewer feels like a fly on the wall observing the beauty that is Fitz and Olivia together. To date, the Oval office scene is my favourite sexual scene between them. That scene had me fanning myself and constantly pressing pause on the episode so I could breathe. The cat and mouse thing they did in that scene floored me. When Olivia was like “Mr President” and Fitz was like “Say it again”. That exchange right there. WOOOOH CHILE! 

They stimulate each other both mentally and sexually. I love how they are political sparring partners and best friends. There was attraction from the beginning but the foundation was friendship which developed into something profound. When Fitz took Olivia to view the constitution, the former Politics student and avid reader in me could not cope. I COULD NOT COPE! What a way to romance a lover of politics? They share ideological aspirations. That was foreplay right there.  Some people have Netflix. Fitz showed Olivia the Constitution. I MEAN FITZGERALD GRANT FOR THE GAL DEM! 

They also share with each other their dreams and doubts.  I am getting more in my feels as I write this. WAHHH! Their phone calls are superb. I even get excited by their silences. The “1 minute” moments of Season 1 were simply orgasmic. Olitz interactions always get me flustered. I even love when they argue. It is incredibly sexy. The passion they convey whenever they interact is sublime. AHHH my gash! They are the original OTP.   

I know some people will say that the relationship is wrong because Fitz is married and Olivia is a home wrecker or side chick and therefore the foundation is wrong and it will never work blah! blah! blah! Whatever!  I love Scandal as a whole but the main reason I watch scandal is for Olitz. The other themes or storylines in the show are extras or should I say luxuries. In my mind, all roads lead to Olitz. Their chemistry is EVERYTHING.  And besides, this show is called Scandal for a reason. What were people expecting? Like really? The show is not called “Morality wins”. There is an affair and it is scandalous hence the title. I mean seriously? BYE! Get to stepping!

Originally posted by yesiamarebelliousflower

 I think the show was made to depict the flaws of humanity and how life is not black and white. It is supposed to provoke debate and I’m here for that. I don’t want TV to be square, I want TV shows to get me thinking (unless I am watching Car crash TV or ratchet stuff where I lose some brain cells and laugh loudly in the process LOL) and I want my thoughts to be challenged so that I form my opinion.  I am not saying I condone infidelity but when watching Scandal, I observe Olitz in the context of the show and in my opinion, their love trumps over everything. Sorry not sorry!

Also, you have the Mellie issue. Now I don’t mind Mellie as a character (at times I find her fascinating) but you will NEVER see me ship her and Fitz together.  NEVER!  I had a friend who said to me the other day that Fitz should honour his marriage and if Olivia did not come into the picture, he would have still loved Mellie. ERMMM OK??Is that the type of love people are striving for in TV in these days? People are longing for that average love where as soon as a new person comes onto the scene, your partner is easily distracted?  WHET? Nope.  I am not buying that theory at all. It just shows to me that the foundation between Mellie and Fitz was not strong enough from the beginning. We have come to see over the seasons, that the love Fitz has for Olivia is more than lust but rather it is an unwavering love.  Unfortunately, he does not possess that type of love for Mellie and probably never will.  Furthermore, “Melitz” is that what you guys call it? (I shuddered writing that) fans always seem to forget that Mellie was co-signing the affair in earlier seasons when she believed it would benefit her in the long run.  She believed Fitz was “letting off some steam” with Olivia which would help him with the election which would ultimately help her in the long run and only upon the realisation that her position was threatened, she’s crying. GIRL BYE!

Mellie was under the impression that Olivia’s role was to be a buffer (yes I said it) or a Mammy or an itch scratcher. Mellie felt Olivia’s sole role was to do ALL that was necessary to prep Fitz for the White house but failed to realise that something much deeper was developing between Fitz and Olivia, something life changing that would compromise her position in the White house and also her political career and now she wants to cry victim.  NOPE!  I’ve said this before; I am not here for Mellie being portrayed as the sacrificial lamb or the sole victim on this show. NOPE. Everyone on the show is incredibly flawed and has suffered in some way.  EVERYONE!   I believe Fitz and Mellie care for each other in the sense that they have been married a long time and they have children together but that’s about it.  There’s no love. It was confirmed in the most recent episode by Cyrus that Mellie has never loved Fitz and we all know Fitz is not checking for Mellie like that either. Sorry not sorry.

Furthermore, there are people who are Jake Stans and champion Olake. EWWWW! No thanks! Jake is as dry as the Sahara. He is a wet sandwich.  Have you ever stopped to observe when Jake is pleasuring Olivia? She has no expression whatsoever. LOOL! Olivia’s face is always blank. Now compare Olivia’s expression with Jake to when she is around Fitz. No comparison.  I am really not here for Olivia dating a character just because he is good looking (That he is) and is single. His looks will not distract me.  He is mediocre. He is a one dimensional character. Also, the fact he is always buying her burgers and beers gets on my nerves. LOL! Why so basic all the time?  I know nothing about him and now finally, they want to try and develop his character and give him a back story? I don’t care. He is still as dry as unbuttered toast.  Jake and Olivia remind me of two friends. It is purely platonic with some extras when you’re bored. They were friends with benefits. LOOOOL! Jake is a Drive by which is short term satisfaction (even though that is never evident on Olivia’s face).  Fitz is a home cooked meal which nourishes you in the long run. HAHA! Anyway, enough about Joke, I am here to discuss Olitz.

Shipping Olitz has been somewhat of a rollercoaster. It has been rough. I feel that at present, Olitz fans are now a minority group in the Scandal fandom.  There were people in the fandom that previously rooted for Olivia and Fitz but have now abandoned the ship.  To that I say good riddance because those people were never loyal in the first place. LOOL! BYE! (I kid! I kid!).

Being an Olitz shipper has been incredibly difficult but entertaining. Amongst some of my friends, I am constantly at loggerheads with Olake fans. Yuck! However, it is always fun to partake in heavy debates with people even if they do root for questionable ships.  Shipping Olitz has been laborious at times but I am a loyal shipper.  I am invested in their love. At times, the writing has frustrated me because I feel the most recent episodes do not always reflect the writing in previous seasons. There are some inconsistencies which I will highlight in another post. 

 Moreover, the constant back and forth in terms of “together/ not together” between the two of them has been exhausting, annoying and at times frustrating. Their love is constantly being attacked and tested by external factors. People are threatened by the power of their love. Many people have tried to sabotage their love and failed miserably. There have been so many obstacles and there are so many issues to consider. There has been the election rigging, the assassination of Fitz’s son by Olivia’s Father and the fear of how they will be perceived by the world amongst other factors but I believe in Olitz.  I love how Fitz rides for Olivia (no pun intended meh maybe I did Haha!). He truly has her back. He is always watching for her. He exists for her. (You see what I did there?). Fitz is not his best self if he does not have Olivia in his life.  Also, Olivia is used to being self sufficient and looking out for others as opposed to herself.  She is the fixer. The person who manages a crisis and here is Fitz who does not want to be fixed but who loves her unconditionally without expecting anything in return and I believe that frightens Olivia. It has been a joy to watch Olitz grow and in particular, see Olivia stand in her truth and embrace openly the love she has for Fitz and just allow him to love her.  

The Dog Whistle Politics episode was beautiful. There are not enough adjectives in the world to describe my feels after that episode.  The episode  is going on my list of favourite Scandal episodes because of the themes which were discussed.  I love how the Scandal writers are not afraid to explore the concepts of both racism and sexism so explicitly in order to provoke thought.  Moreover, I have always been intrigued to see how the writers would explore how the American public would react when the Olitz relationship became public.  Fitz, a White Republican President, is having an affair with a Black woman.  It is a lot to contemplate and I am really enjoying the direction the writers are taking in tackling this issue. Side note: HERE FOR MARCUS IN THIS EPISODE! GAHHHH!

This episode was the ultimate Olitz episode.  Olivia had been happy to be “thrown under the bus” in regards to the outing of the affair as she felt it was the best strategic move and this was her way of choosing Fitz. However, Fitz was never comfortable with this decision. Fitz could not stand back and watch Olivia suffer alone.  After the phone call (discussion of anonymous people threatening her and as a result, Olivia discussing her experience of being both black and a woman during this crisis) and also when the politician stated that Fitz should have chosen a woman who was more palatable to the base, Fitz makes a decision to stand in his truth and make his love of Olivia known to the world because he feels it is only right that they experience the consequences of their relationship going public TOGETHER.  To be honest, this is all Fitz has wanted to do and if he had it his way, we all know Fitz would not even be President and would just live in Vermont and make jam with Olivia.  Fitz has absolutely no f**ks to give when it comes to loving Olivia and this is one of the main reasons I love Olitz. 

When Fitz comes out of the elevator to take his “girlfriend” on a date, it was so adorable, I could not cope. It was important for him to make a statement. His actions were a declaration of his love and his devotion to Olivia.  My babies!

However, even though I ship Olitz hard, it does not mean they are not open to critique.  At times, I do feel that Fitz is somewhat idealistic and does not always consider the practicalities of the decisions he makes. At times, his decisions are reckless.  The fact he was willing to go to war to save Olivia was nothing short of irresponsible. Admittedly, I was not impressed with that decision.  I understand he was conflicted but that was careless. However, I honestly enjoy watching him struggle to manage being a President whilst being in love for Olivia.  He is just ready to run off into the sunset with Olivia TODAY which is endearing but not always practical. However, as I stated before, I am solely here for the Olitz chemistry.  LOL!

Furthermore, I think Olivia needs to own more of her decisions in regards to Fitz. The expression “you made your bed, you need to lie in it” comes to mind. Also, I am waiting for Olivia to check Mellie. I am so tired of watching Olivia constantly referred to as a whore by Mellie. I know Olivia feels guilty about being the other woman and I get the impression that Olivia does not feel it is her place to reprimand Mellie but come on SAY SOMETHING!  I have to be patient. I know it will come in due time and that moment will be glorious. Nevertheless, I’m ecstatic that these past few episodes have shown that Fitz and Olivia are finally communicating and growing as a couple. That’s my ship right there. WOHOOO! I’m interested to see how the relationship will evolve in light of his children, her Father, BITTER Cyrus, the potential impeachment etc. There are so many issues and themes that need to be explored.  I am excited!

I had a discussion on twitter recently and it was stated by a person I follow (brilliant tweeter) that “Olitz is a Shakespearean love” and it is doomed to fail. The assertion hurt me. However, I believe in Olitz because there is no chemistry quite like it. If that’s the case, let me get my tissues and my life jacket ready because I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP!

Originally posted by strangebreadofdoom


I am loyal and forever faithful. I cannot wait to see what is in store for Olitz. They are not perfect. There is so much more they need to learn in this journey. They are both flawed but I adore them. I expect more obstacles along the way but for me Olitz is END GAME.  BRING IT ON!

Ok so that was an incredibly long description of Olitz. I could have discussed so much more but I would have been here forever. I hoped you enjoyed.  Until the next “art of shipping” post, Ciao