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Zimbits Kids Headcannons

I'ma maybe write something with actual structure if y'all like this.


Coralie-Anne Larissa Bittle (Cora):
They chose Bittle as a last name when she was born because it would keep her out of Jack’s hockey legacy more. Wanted her to be free to not have a life steeped in hockey and it was a first step?

(And because Jack totally dropped the Zimmermann part of his name when he retired)

She was adopted not surrogate mostly because when they were looking around for information Jack fell in love of the ultrasound of a little girl up for adoption. (Teen mom who is still mildly involved)

Adopted 5 years after Bitty graduates, and 2 years after they are happily married.

She’s raised mostly Lutheran traditions (Christmas) because of the Bittles but there’s a few Jewish traditions in there.

She takes after Jack. Her first favorite toy is a hockey puck from the first game she ever went to

Second favorite is Senior Bun II (Bitty still doesnt know how Jack found another one. Etsy??)

She’s one of the first kids born in their old friend group and is spoiled rotten

Shitty and Lardo are Unofficial Godparents/Aunt Lardo and Uncle Crappy

She’s standing on skates by 2, and is skating on her own by 3

She scores her first goal against Jack at his last Falconer’s Family Skate before he retires. (Is like 10 years in the NHL normal? I know nothing, so.) She’s 4, almost 5

Jack and Bitty are kinda lost when it comes to potty training her? Girl anatomy isn’t very clear to them, even though Jack may have bought a book?

Lardo spends a weekend helping. There are a lot of weird google searches that weekend.

She’s begging for a little brother by the time she is six, and Jack and Bitty kinda just look at each other

They don’t want her to be an only child like them

Plus they were kinda already thinking about it

Cora is the most violent Pee-Wee player to ever grace Providence’s hockey teams.

It does not get better as she grows up. She spends as much time in the penalty box as she does on the ice by 7th grade

Is fluent in both French and English, of course

Gave up the confusion of differentiating between Dads. She now calls Bitty by his college nickname

It started by the time she was 8

They both didn’t complain because she picked up all of Jack’s inflections and it’s cute

Everyone they know that didn’t go to Samwell is confused.

Lardo had to give her the girl talk and teach her how to use tampons because Jack and Bitty have 0 idea how to raise a girl. Google isn’t helpful.

Lardo (and Shitty, tbh) sit her down and set her straight about being a woman, and how bad, and good, it is.

She makes Bitty and Jack listen in “so they don’t have to do this again"

She goes to college (Samwell, because why not) on a hockey scholarship. She’s studying engineering, and EVERYONE is confused where the hell that came from.

Johnson Richard Bittle

Also adopted, this time at a year old from an orphanage

Hard won adoption

His mother named him Johnson, not them

They laughed really hard when they heard his name

Cora is instantly Attached.

The first thing she does is bring him her old puck and give it to him.

He takes to a soft brown blanket with a bunny attached Shitty gives him as a present.

Shitty tries not to cry. (And fails.)

He’s a quiet kid, and he doesn’t lean twoards either parent. He likes sitting with Jack as he finishes his classes to get his Master’s in history online. (And a teaching degree, because I just think Jack would be good at high school history. I’m projecting).

He bakes with Bitty from a young age when it’s not to complicated.

His first thing on his own is a batch of biscuits at Grandma’s house

As he gets older he kinda clings to Shitty. Uncle Crappy becomes like his favorite person.

Shitty cries a lot about this

He spends way too much time at Jack and Bitty’s town home

He doesn’t do hockey, and he’s not big into baking. John is smart as a whip though, and does really well in school

It’s not surprising when he starts talking about being a lawyer, he took to Shitty’s social justice rants at a young age

He is like, the most liberal and politically educated kid

He goes to Harvard, because Shitty has connections and this kid is like his son that he can’t fuck up to bad

He’s terrified because Lardo is pregnant and he’s worried about how he’ll be a dad

Johnson reassures him, in a way.


Henrieta Alicia Bittle

They really named her Henrietta because of pressure from all their old hockey friends

Her nick name is Hattie because Jack and Bitty are 110% like that.

I just love the idea of Jack and Bitty wrangling a group of their kids, ok. Three is enough though.

They adopt her from China when she’s only a few days old, and Bitty will never forget the way his heart melted at the look on Jack’s f a c e.

She takes after Bitty, and is helping him make pies by the time she’s old enough to sit on the counter and stir the batter.

She loves it, and tells him she wants to be just like him - a professional baker.

(Bitty BTW, isn’t a pro baker. He got a job managing baked goods and social media for a bakery in Boston post-graduation. When they expanded to a further area a year later he was head baker at their new Providence location. He now runs the place. )

She also wants to play Lacrosse when she’s in fifth grade, and laughing through the whole thing, Jack and Bitty encourage her to pursue what she wants to do.

Turns out she’s really really good at Lacrosse. And soccer. And softball. And every sport but hockey.

Sure, she can skate, and she did a few years in the figure skating program, but hockey? She’s kinda inherited Bitty’s timidness around checking (because she’s really small). And is not good in hockey skates. But she’s a wicked good figure skater in her Freshman year.

She’s decently smart, not as good as Johnson, but she’s the most kind-hearted girl you will ever meet.

She goes to college for Elementary Education and joins the ice cheerleading team and about 7 other sports.