4

Please note the dates and years on these messages. I believe he has been married to the same woman the entire time, and still is. I haven’t seen him since 2011, and haven’t replied to him since 2012, but I broke my 5 year silence to remind him that I know he’s married. Hopefully he takes the hint.

PSA: fb and Instagram are not dating sites, especially if you’re already married and just being a disrespectful creeper behind your spouse’s back.

A couple of things to talk about here. Firstly, this really does seem to be the attitude of most guys on dating sites: “I meet the absolute bare minimum of what I think a woman would be looking for, so I must be better than 90% of guys on this site and women should jump at the chance to talk to me!” This is mathematically impossible if most guys think it of themselves.

Secondly, it also doesn’t say much for men’s opinions of other men. I know his comment was a joke, but think about it - how many times do guys talk about how much better they are than other guys, and how other guys are just going to cheat on and mistreat women? But if a woman talks about how so many men mistreat and cheat on women, these guys are right there with “not all men” and “guys get abused/raped too!” So which is it, dude? Either 90% of guys fall below the bare minimum, or you’re just lazy and hoping to find a woman who doesn’t mind that.

Btw, this is actually the guy I posted over the weekend who tried to “compliment” me by saying I’m not a “twig” like Gal Gadot. So at this point I highly doubt the IQ > shoe size comment as well.

We haven’t checked in with Pedantic Guy in a while, but rest assured he’s still out there and still giving painfully long and bizarre explanations to questions no one asked. This question is about sports, not drugs. I’m not even sure which specific drug culture he’s talking about here - just pot? Or all drugs? Maybe a select few? If it’s all drugs, then I stand ready to defend my stance that joining a kickball league is more beneficial than taking up heroin. Call me crazy.

And for the record, I think most drugs should be legal, but I’m not about to tell an aspiring athlete to just drop acid instead and form a soccer team with whatever creatures they hallucinate.

Search my blog for “Pedantic Guy” for more pedantry.

When using dating sites, I like to use a test when someone messages me. I read it and then don’t respond for a full 24 hours. It’s amazing how quickly people (mostly men) go from “wow you’re really beautiful” to “fine bitch I didn’t want your ugly ass anyway” or something like that. 24 hours is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to wait before responding, you’ve got stuff going on, this stranger is not entitled to your time. Anyone worth dating isn’t going to flip out over waiting 24 hours for a response. Some might call this “playing games”…I call it weeding.

cosmopolitan.com
Exclusive: OkCupid Is Making It Super Easy to Tell Which Matches Aren't Totally Terrible
A partnership with Planned Parenthood will help you avoid at least one tough conversation with potential dates

From sex and birth control, to consent and healthy relationships, helping you live your best love life is kinda our job. So we’ve partnered up with OkCupid to make finding that special someone (who also happens be a fan of Planned Parenthood) easy. This week, OKCupid is giving out special #IStandWithPP profile stickers. Because wouldn’t you want to know that your potential date supports reproductive rights?? Get yours>>

Dating sites claim to winnow a few ideal suitors out of a nigh-infinite pool of chaff. But the matches these algorithms offer may be no better than picking partners at random, a study finds.

Researchers asked about 350 heterosexual undergrads at Northwestern University to fill out questionnaires assessing their personalities and romantic preferences.

They were quizzed about things like self-esteem, goals, values, loneliness, what they were looking for in a partner, and how assertive or patient or creative they want the partner to be — and how much those things apply to them, says Samantha Joel, a psychologist at the University of Utah and lead author on the study, which was published last week in Psychological Science. “Lots of traits that have been theorized to be important for relationships in past literature.”

When It Comes To Romantic Attraction, Real Life Beats Questionnaires

Illustration: Gary Waters/Ikon Images/Getty Images

Note to Ugly People:

Sending grainy nudes during the Hookup Negotiation means you’re ugly.  I don’t know what else to tell you.  Technology has come to a point where if you are sending blurry, out of focus, grainy, dark, or otherwise difficult to view pictures, you’re trying to hide how ugly you are.  Think about when you want to take that L – over the app when they can see you clearly and decline, or in person when you get there and they say “naaah, I’m good.”  

All is not lost, of course.  Ugly people have sex too.  We see ugly couples so they must be finding each other.  Maybe they sent clear pics to each other so they could both gauge the ugly on the other end effectively and make an informed decision.  Or, maybe they cultivated personalities and interests that lent themselves to meeting people socially instead of through an app.  Either way, they didn’t do it by sending nudes that look like you shot it with the iPhone730BC.  Do better.

Signed,

Not an Ugly Person *per se* But A Man in NYC Who Has Definitely Slept With Enough Men To See The Rating System Is Harsher Here & Developed Ways To Compete