If I Were a Sandwich

If I were a sandwich,
I’d have no care in the world,
I’d have my cucumber in harmony with my avocado,
The rings of onion spiral across the galaxy
Of my delicious microcosm,
And an egg would have had an orange yolk.

If I were a sandwich,
I’d know nothing about the wars,
The politics, and the choirs,
And my only predestination would be
To lay on a round plate on a clean table,
And glisten in the light
With a leaf of mildewed salad.

Here’s a preview of that poster I’m working on. This may take a while to get finished, but it’ll be worth it!


Interested in commissioning me? Check out the link below for details!
>> http://iamsare.tumblr.com/commissions <<

anonymous asked:

Seeing as you work with children, maybe you can understand onions behavior? I was honestly wondering cause half the time I hear he's a demon, the other half is he's just a normal kid, no disorders or anything.

Hmm. Onion.

Honestly, I really like his character. I think not because of its weirdness, but because of its malleability. 

This can be approached from several different angles, but I will start by saying: 

Onion’s character, as a whole, is played in the show to be specifically weird and creepy. There’s nothing denying the fact that the show tries to make it obvious that he’s got some sort of enigma underlying his presence. 

Originally posted by satoshinuukka

They basically use him to impersonate the fear that exists in all of us ever since horror movies figured out that for some reason, children-sized demons and monsters are creepier than adult-sized ones.

And they play up the trope for all they can get.

Originally posted by henchmanform

That being said, when examined outside of the weird positioning of his character, I’d honestly have to say Onion is a pretty typical 4-year-old. 

(I’m assuming he’s 3-5, but it’s up for debate).  

If you think about it, he hasn’t actually done anything extremely out of the ordinary. In fact, that biggest realism flaw in his existence is the fact that he is free to roam the entirety of beach city unsupervised, which is what, ultimately, leads to him being weird all over the place. 

The bulk of what he actually does is pretty standard. He runs around, takes things without asking, imitates behavior he could have easily seen in movies, and develops obsessions with items - sometimes taking those items without permission. The kid isn’t old enough to have a concept of what’s weird and what’s not weird. He’s still learning his world, and he doesn’t know that he’s being weird - to him, it’s all a fun game. 

Even in light of the recent episode, my idea that he’s just a regular weird kid is solidified. He is close to a select few people, and he’s very comfortable with his mother, who he actually speaks to and communicates with very healthily. He’s got a few weird obsessions, and weird pets, and a hidden safe of special toys. 

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re gonna say: “THE BIRTH VIDEO?!?!?!”

I’ve got news for you - regular children, if allowed to express their interests without judgement from their parents, will naturally develop weird obsessions with bodily functions, death, and yes, sometimes even birth. 

The Vidalia household is clearly a pretty expression-free place. Vidalia herself is a really laid-back mom. Sour Cream has the freedom of doing his DJ thing despite the fact that it’s clearly borderline annoying, because she values his ability to invest in what he likes. I’m assuming Onion isn’t very oppressed in this way either. She evidently just lets him like what he does and roll with it - which, honestly, is a pretty damn good way to parent a child. Neither of her kids are in immediate danger, nor do they display any truly dangerous symptoms. They’ve got their stuff, and they’re happy. Onion has a safe space, toys, and interests. For a 4 year old, that’s really damn important. Way more so than any social conventions are.

Originally posted by the-world-of-steven-universe

Plus he’s got two supportive parents that clearly understand him.

I’ve seen a lot of interesting speculation going around saying that Onion might be on the autism spectrum, or perhaps display symptoms of other diagnoses. And honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with that. If you can see yourself in that character and it makes you feel better, that’s good. 

I don’t actually think the show has given us enough information to come to any solid conclusions. They use Onion as a Chaotic Neutral (sometimes Evil) and a catalyst for weird situations, but they also show him behaving in very normal ways to his family members, and he still seems like a pretty normal kid to me.

But that’s just my opinion.

So a fictitious man named Deez Nuts is polling at 9% in North Carolina while the leader in polling, Donald Trump, has no diplomatic skills and what seems like a badly photoshopped hair piece

A street artist named Banksy has opened a theme park, Greece created a kick starter for its entire economy and Jon Stewart’s plan for retirement is apparently to hit people in the nuts with chairs on the WWE

Petition to rename August 2015 to the month the Onion articles came true anyone?