one-size-fits-all

I think one of the things that white feminism / terf feminism misses completely about WOC is that there is a difference between being sexualized and being found attractive and how that affects women of color as a result.

White women in the media are both sexualized and viewed as ideal and conventionally attractive, white women tend to take a position that pushes back on all forms of the male gaze which includes both sexualization, and being viewed as conventionally attractive.

Which is fine because of their dominant position as the apple of men’s eye they’re never going to doubt themselves as the most attractive species (even when it’s unwanted and generally unfavorable, and comes with a strict set of rules and beauty standards, because even if a white girl feels ugly, internal racism is still going to make her value herself higher than brown girls) but generally when white women reject beauty standards, they have enough support that it doesn’t adversely affect their mental well-being.

Now onto WOC. The system is completely different, woc are considered play things and sexual objects in a way that is unparalleled by their white counterparts. White women don’t /want/ to feel beautiful woc never /got/ to. And that matters, in a world where beauty, especially for women, determines worth, when women of color were never considered beautiful in the first place, their self worth is nonexistent.

So when woc say things like “I want to feel beautiful” a lot of white women mistake that for “I want to look good for men” which can be true if you’re white (even though everyone should be allowed to feel attractive in whatever way they want)

But with women of color the meaning shifts to more like “I want to feel like I have value, I want to feel loved and respected and to be attractive. Eurocentric beauty standards have never fit me, and with those being all the media I ever consumed, they’ve cemented themselves in my brain, I deserve to be desirable in a non inherently sexual way.”

And white women literally can’t empathize with this, which is okay! But there has to be an understanding that feminism isn’t one size fits all in which white women are the proxy.

  • Trump administration: We're rolling back the protections for trans students because it should be left up to the states. This isn't a one-size-fits-all situation, the states have rights, they should be able to chose whether or not they offer protections to vulnerable children and teens. We're a state's rights party uwu.
  • Also the Trump administration: We're looking into enforcing the federals laws that deal with recreational marijuana because these stickin' states think that they have rights or something.

[ May is BPD ( Borderline Personality Disorder ) awareness month & I wanted to drop this here, for my followers to see.

Why am I posting this, you might ask ? Yes. I HAVE BPD. I’ve had it for at least 10 years in various levels of severity. BPD isn’t the only personality disorder nor mental disorder I have either, & I am not scared to say it.

BPD awareness is close to my heart. I try to make sure I tell to every single person I plan to become a closer friends with that I have this disorder & ask them to try to understand me the best they can. Hell, I sometimes don’t even understand myself… Because of this ( these ) disorders I have always been more or less misunderstood & I have never really “fit the norm” how people should behave. I just… Didn’t understand how emotions work, like many other BPD sufferers. I didn’t know how to voice them out in other way than anger or over-reacting that stems from neglect I had to endure ever since I was a toddler — that is how I learned to survive in the middle of abuse. I am not saying this as an “understand me because I am a special snowflake”, no, everyone should TRY TO UNDERSTAND each other REGARDLESS.

How can you become better at understanding us ? By listening. By asking us questions & not second guess. Educate yourself on the subject if you have a friend, a family member or anyone close to you that suffers from BPD. Or educate yourself even if you don’t, the more knowledge the better.

Now to the stigmas. I am sick & tired of people stigmatizing ANYTHING & I want to debunk these from my personal perspective. Sometimes we do it without even realizing it, stigmatizing… Which we should try our best to break free from.

I am not selfish. I have too many things I need to deal with every day, I might not be the best person to put other people’s needs first as well as someone that isn’t dealing with extreme mood swings that can last from literally 15 SECONDS to couple of hours. I do care about you. I just sometimes don’t have the strength to carry both of our burdens.
I am not manipulative —- I just don’t know how to voice my strong emotions right without sounding hostile or pushy.
I am not an attention seeker. Once again, I just don’t know how to voice my emotions out early enough before I’ve bottled everything up, then everything just explodes because I become so overwhelmed & it seems like I am making the situation a horrible shit storm of drama.
I am not treatment resistant — I thought I was, but my medications are set & suit me. I attend therapy & have been for 1.5 years & it helps. I do not abuse alcohol, drugs or sex, I am actively combating self harm & suicidalness every single day. I will never be cured, but I will be better.
Only thing in this list I can agree with is BPD people being difficult because being difficult is SUBJECTIVE. We as humans don’t have an “one size fits all” base for our tolerance — all of us tolerate certain things to certain extents.

I am not a monster.

Unless you really know me & we have a mutual understanding between each other you have NO RIGHT to stigmatize me or say what kind of a person I am. So many people start to abuse me & tell how horrible person I am because I am behaving in a certain way because I just don’t know better. I don’t know how else to behave. & I know it’s wrong if I behave badly, I am not perfect. But you still have no right to verbally abuse me. Hell, you have no right to do that to ANYONE.

My disorders do not determine me. My disorders are not ME.

These stigmas just make everything worse, for everyone. These stigmas surrounding us make us BPD sufferers AFRAID to admit we have BPD. We are AFRAID to seek for help. We’re AFRAID to even talk about the subject in any way & we keep suffering, feeling alone in this hellhole of a world that might never understand us.

Don’t succumb to the stigma. Don’t be afraid of someone with BPD, some of us suffer in silence & struggle internally, some of us voice our emotions out in a very immature way, we’re not all the same. Imagine someone whose most outer layer of skin has been peeled completely off. You are red & raw, even a soft breeze of wind hurts. Even the smallest touch can make anyone SCREAM from pain. That is what BPD emotions are like. We know how we behave is not right, but we most of the time can’t help it. We learned these ways to behave from trauma — we had to do SOMETHING to survive & now we are stuck with a certain way of behavior, a survival method that might get triggered by even the smallest things. We feel like we are in serious danger & we need to defend ourselves at least somehow. We know how we have learned to survive doesn’t work anymore, some of us are in so much better place than we were before but we just can’t break free without professional help or dedicated self treatment, such as Mindfulness, yoga & meditation.

Not all of our bad behaviors are BPD based, but it’s very likely most of them are. You don’t need to understand us, just at least try to.

We are not perfect. You aren’t perfect either. We all make mistakes, some just more than others. Deep down inside we are just like you. We are human, we are flawed & we feel emotions. We are trying our best to be “normal” & not hurt anyone.

For other BPD sufferers — there is hope. Someone loves you. & you should love yourself, too.

This has been a PSA. Thank you for reading. Thank you for trying to understand. ]

6

Why build a tiny house instead of buying existing small house or trailer?

The biggest reason for me is creative empowerment.

There are so many things we aren’t in control over. But one of them, if you have some money put aside, is your shelter. There’s something incredibly validating about building my own shelter.

If you think about it, how many things do you create on a daily basis, vs consume? How much of your individualized potential is being expressed in your daily life, vs molded by others?

So many of us wake up in beds designed for the masses, wearing one size fits all PJs, grabbing our push-button coffee out the door on the way to our increasingly commoditized jobs in the car with the “best reviews”.

Best not become unemployed or you’ll lose access to your pharmaceutically manufactured pills. That would make the CEOs very angry.

I sleepwalked through 3 years of consumption before I finally realized I’m not even participating in my own life!

In my house, everything is exactly how I want. And if it’s not, I’ll have intimate knowledge how to change it.

Solar power, heated floors, loft speakers, enclosed shower, four-burner range… Hell a garden in my living room if I so desire. I can have it all in 150 sq ft. for about $30,000. And go anywhere with all that too. And no one can evict me or foreclose on it.

Abuse isn’t a one size fits all type of thing despite popular belief. Your personal experience with abuse doesn’t have to be a certain way for it to be valid. Abuse can be emotional, physical, mental..etc. Abusers can go through periods of time where they will have you believe that things will never get bad again. You don’t deserve abuse and your experience is valid. You are not alone.

anonymous asked:

Im thinking of following you, but before I do, what are your opinions on the following: -abortion -BLM -Asexual and aromantic people -punching nazis -non-binary people -trump -the Muslim Ban -dads getting equality in custody battles -teen vogue writing on politics -an LGBTQ+ Disney Princess -an LGBTQ+ Disney Prince Thank you for your time ... and I hope you find $20 or something : )

Ha! Answering for the record and for existing followers, not for the like or the $20, although I’ll happily take both.

1.  abortion: 

1,000% pro-choice. I created a masterpost on the hypocrisy of the pro-life movement.

Receipts: http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/pro-choice

2.  BLM:

Support 1,000%. I’m a white person who is dedicated to fighting racism, confronting other white people, and promoting POC rights, equality and representation.

Receipts: http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/black-lives-matter

3.  Asexual and aromantic people:

Love ‘em and got their back. ACE AND ARO PRIDE NOT ERASURE

Receipts: http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/ace

4.  punching nazis:

5.  non-binary people:

Love ‘em and got their back. LOVE, RESPECT AND PROTECT TRANS AND NON-BINARY PEOPLE.

Receipts: (lots of overlap between tags, specific NB stories are tagged non-binary)

http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/transgender

http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/nonbinary

6.  trump:

Evil incarnate. Threat to humanity. Needs impeaching immediately for conspiracy with Russians to rig the election. 

Receipts: http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/donald-trump

7.  the Muslim Ban:

NO BAN NO WALL. Racist AF, needs to be stopped at every attempt.

Receipts: http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/muslim-ban

8. dads getting equality in custody battles

Custody decisions need to be made on a case-by-case basis, based on the best interests of the child. There is no “one size fits all” statement when it comes to something so specific to the individuals involved. 

9.  teen vogue writing on politics:

They’re killing it. Others need to follow their lead.

Receipts: http://profeminist.tumblr.com/tagged/teen-vogue

10.  an LGBTQ+ Disney Princess -an LGBTQ+ Disney Prince:

Long overdue!

Disney Pride Graphics - free to use

I hope you find $20 or something : ) 

I hope so too!

When I log into tumblr I see a variety of amazing people all trying to find their way to health. I see people who want to lose 200+ pounds and those who want to lose 15. I see some people trying out intermittent fasting to keep their binge eating in check, while other people like to eat multiple small meals a day. I see people who feel ketosis helps keep them satisfied while burning their body’s fat and at the same time people who can’t feel full without some carbs. I see vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores. I see people eating clean and people just casually trying to cut calories. I see people trying to drink more water, simply move more, and eat out less. I see people wanting to run marathons and people who just want to walk a few more steps. I see people preparing for weight loss surgery. I see people using food to fight disease whether that be diabetes, auto-immune diseases, or PCOS. I see people trying to do their best in a world that wants to make being healthy complicated, monetized, and practically impossible.

Do I agree with everyone’s diet? No way! But most of the time I don’t even follow my own guidelines enough to feel comfortable policing anyone else. Everyday I try to be better. I allow myself to learn and I move forward so I can grow into better, stronger, and healthier person. I try to do what works for me and I respect that you know what works for you.

Every single person I follow is unique and different and I respect your journey to find what works for you. We don’t need to tear down each other down when were all simply taking our own path to the same destination. There is no one size fits all answer to health and everyone’s experiences are valid.

Dear Anti Tony Stark Community,

yes, in am well aware that Tony Stark is fictional, as do I understand why it may be difficult to understand a character you may not be able to relate to. However, I don’t think many of you realize the message you’re sending to fellow Marvel fans, and people and general with mental illnesses. By not supporting and validating his manifestations of mental illness, you harm an already taboo and shunned community of people who’s symptoms, like Tony’s, can be destructive and scary.  I 100% empathize with Team Cap. Bucky has been through unimaginable pain and deserves to be protected and supported, as do most of the others. Bucky is seen as a martyr. His pain, his suffering, his mental illness is “pure” and “beautiful”. He is on a pedestal. His issues are handled in an idealized fashion.  As someone who is has symptoms in both categories, I’m not saying Bucky isn’t valid, he very much is, HOWEVER, don’t you dare tell me that Tony Stark is not valid in his pain as well. All of the demonized traits and actions of the man you hate so much stem directly from his own issues. From the beginning of his life, he was a victim of verbal, emotional, and (if the comics are being followed in MCU) physical.  That alone fucks shit up in a person.  Over the course of his life, he’s been taken advantage of by “friends” and romantic partners, betrayed by his only father figure (Obadiah) and best friend (Rhodey in IM2), degraded and demonized by the media and press, kidnapped by terrorists, tortured repeatedly (as a civilian, nonetheless), suffered (misplaced) guilt and over illegal weapons dealing he had no part in and dedicates his life to making right, had a near death experience with the arc reactor, experienced severe PTSD after flying a nuke into a wormhole to save the world, had his mind manipulated by Wanda to take advantage of his love for his teammates and need to protect the world, been physically and mentally abused by said teammates/friends (Natasha in IM2, after he trusts her, Thor in AoU, Team Cap in CW), found out his parents were murdered after having it kept from him by a trusted friend, left by the woman he loves, and other more minor things as well (feel free to add to that list yourself).  

Tony Stark’s mental illness is different than the rest of the MCU characters because it is not beautiful.  He is depressed, paranoid, traumatized, and isolated.  I’m not saying he is guiltless, far from it.  He made bad choices.  He has been selfish, ignorant, volatile, confrontational, defensive, and irresponsible.  But that doesn’t discount his suffering.  Drawing on my own experiences and research, he has classic PTSD and anxiety (panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, paranoia), severe symptoms of depression (isolation, self deprecation, alcohol abuse, suicidal tendencies, guilt, hopelessness), and a possible bipolar or personality disorder (manic energy/hyperactivity, impulsiveness, restlessness, anger).  His creation of Ultron (and other post-Afghanistan behavior) was, in my opinion, the culmination of severe, UNTREATED mental illness and trauma.  There is no evidence in any canon of him receiving counseling, medication or support for his issues, nor are they treated with the consideration, care, or sympathy of the others.  Instead, he becomes the villain.  

The point I’m trying to make is that alienating and abusing those with destructive manifestations of mental illness is not only wrong, it’s harmful to the individual, as well as society.  Mental illness is not pretty or easily sympathized with.  It can be screaming and anger and pushing loved ones away.  It can be recklessness and mania and skewed judgement and ugly breakdowns.  Tony and Bucky are different, but in many ways the same.  The only reason that one is adored and the other hated, is the stigma surrounding an honest portrayal of mental illness.  When you call Tony Stark a villain, a selfish bastard and an irresponsible, egotist, all you’re doing is telling the world that you only support those with depression, PTSD, anxiety and other disorders if they fit into a glorified mold of what mental illness is.  What validates one character demonizes another.  When you say those things, you hurt people like me who love Tony because we see ourselves in him.  He’s not unattainable or better than us.  He is relatable.  He is me.  It feels amazing to see someone we admire so much in a flawed way that makes us feel valid and represented in a positive way, not as the villain, but as the hero for once.  Whether you agree with me or not is up to you, but please, PLEASE, at least think about what you’re saying next time you post.  It could be more hurtful than you know.  Remember, pain is relative, and there is no one size fits all for mental illness.  Support people in pain, even if it’s not easy.


( @itstonystarkbitch back me up, fam)

anonymous asked:

I've seen several photos portraying Japanese girl gangs fighting in long pleated skirts. how viable of an outfit is this in terms of combat?

I’m going to avoid talking about the cultural context for the skirts, which there is and just focus on the practicality.

The answer to any question involving combat is “it depends”, and when we talk about an article of clothing that is dependent on that specific article of clothing. It also depends on the kind of combat you plan to have your character engaging in. Street brawls are very different from armored melee. If your character is a female soldier, she’ll be dressing according to whatever regulations her military has (that could involve a skirt for dress uniforms, but battle and dress are different).

There is no “one-size fits all” approach as the field of battle matters, the kind of opponent matters, the skill level of all parties involved matters, context matters. What your intentions are matter.

They all factor into the decision making process. What you need to do when looking at articles of clothing and trying do decide if it’s a yes or no is learn to think from the internal perspective of someone who would actually be engaging in physical conflict. If you’re thinking of someone heading into a dangerous situation where they couldn’t outwardly look like they were expecting trouble then the question is: if you expected to be caught and forced to fight, what kind of clothing would you prefer to be caught in?

It starts with you and we work our way out from there as you learn more about the conditional nature of combat. When it comes to Hollywood, the irony is that most of the clothing male action heroes wear will work for basic street combat whereas the clothing for women won’t. Would you want to be hunting monsters through the sewers in six inch heels? Probably not.

For what the girl gangs are doing, it works. In fact, it works better than a miniskirt or any other tight clothing common for women in the US or the leather bondage outfits you often see women fighting in on television. You’ll still see women in the real world wear those. Not because it works, mind you, but because they’re afraid they won’t be perceived as feminine, sexy, or attractive. They overcompensate in the wrong direction, the same way Hollywood and media do, and for the exact same reasons.

Sometimes, people make choices that have nothing to do with what’s appropriate or what works. Sometimes, they’re trying to balance between societal expectations, cultural mores, gender constraints, and what they’re trying to accomplish. Sometimes they’re trying to be outside the box and inside the box at the same time. And, sometimes, they can get away with it. What they’re doing and who they’re fighting means they’ve a greater margin for error, versus someone faced with an enemy where they need every advantage they can get.

What you want, especially with street fighting, is freedom of movement.

This is why you often see tank tops or very loose fitting shirts on military personnel. If you’ve got a shirt that fits tightly around the shoulders, that’ll impede your movement, restrict the rotation of the shoulder. If you’re pants are too tight or limit flexibility, then that slows you down and will limit how high you can kick, how well your leg moves, etc.

You want durable clothing.

Clothing that protects you in a fall or when you’re rolling around on the ground. If you can’t see it absorbing impact or protecting you from scrapes when you hit the earth, then it isn’t a good pick.

You want clothes that breathe.

Combat is a high energy exercise, it’s frenetic, it’s fast, and it takes a lot of exertion. If you’ve ever brought the wrong kind of clothing when you’re going jogging or watched makeup melt off girls in P.E. class then you know what I’m talking about. Clothes that cause you to overheat, that don’t allow the heat to escape your body, that you can’t run or sprint in, will actively do you harm in a fight. By participating in exercise with a high energy output, you are already heating up your body. (This is part of why we sweat, we’re cooling our body down.) The hotter you get, the faster you burn through your water. The hotter you get, the faster you reach a point of critical exhaustion which will get you killed.

However, “what works” for combat is heavily dependent on the kind of combat your character plans to (or potentially might) engage in. The rules change based on what you’re doing, what you need, what the chances of success are, who the enemy is, the terrain you’re fighting on.

There’s also the other side, beyond practicality, which is you know, cultural expectations and considerations. How your character feels about gender norms, whether they care about being perceived as feminine or masculine, whether they care about expectations, whether they’re vain, or willing to get themselves killed over fashion.

There’s also the part in fiction where how someone is dressed becomes an indicator for how serious the situation is/threat level is. That’s a visual tell you see used often in film and television.

Remember, skill and experience don’t free you from the same constraints that affect other characters. They just mean your character can make more intelligent choices based on what they know. They can get away with more, but it will still catch up to them in the end.

So, be Helen Mirrim in R.E.D. and take out armed gunmen with a reinforced clutch and the element of surprise.

Try thinking about the situation from the perspective of the character involved rather than overall generic rules. Practicality changes on a situational basis, and there are plenty of people who will go Rule of Cool in real life. This is especially true of gangs, where efficacy loses out to intimidation.

People are people. All the factors going into a decision may not be the ones you expect or are looking for.

-Michi

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College Comparison and Application Checklists

Hi guys! As an obsessive spreadsheet maker, I am constantly using Excel for EVERYTHING, including when preparing to apply for college. I’ve just been told that, for once, the spreadsheets I made for comparing college options and organizing my application checklist are actually helpful, so I’m here to share them!

The first can be used for initially comparing and deciding which colleges you are interested in and the second can be used more as a checklist to see if everything has been submitted or completed.

To make things convenient, I’ve made them available in Google Sheets, from which you can copy to your own Google Drive or download as a Microsoft Excel file! They are also both editable so that you can add or remove categories and compare what’s important to you. Colleges are not one-size-fits-all, so feel free to edit the spreadsheets to cater to you. As a quick example, I’ve used Harvard to demonstrate what each category is for, but you can use it however you see fit. Since I personally have not looked into Harvard, the examples used are not the most thorough, but they should still provide a general idea.

**DISCLAIMER: I am still in high school and have not yet applied or gone to any colleges/universities. I am no expert on college admissions and do not know everything about finding and selecting the perfect college. Please keep this in mind. Any constructive feedback is welcome!

College Comparison Spreadsheet:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1AVSidBtOpGOHafgkHVeKYSL0ceyaSZvx2VNzIG3uZTc/edit?usp=sharing

College Application Checklist:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ncT6dwddihoQOLsW17c6wZuXXqrp5F4hIqPWnop5M7M/edit?usp=sharing

To use, click on the link, go to “file”, then either click “make a copy” and save to your drive or click “download” and then whatever format you want. A guide to using each is below the cut. Happy college hunting and good luck!

Keep reading

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Many messages i get on this blog are things like “My family says homophobic things but i’m still in the closet, i don’t know what to do”,

My best friend uses transphobic slurs but how do i tell her that it hurts me without telling her i am trans? I can’t come out yet” 

or other variants of “How to react to lgbt+-phobia when still in the closet?”. 

I’ve been planning to write a letter that answers this question for a while now - but to be honest, i postponed it because it’s a difficult situation to be in and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. There’s not the one golden perfect solution to it. 

Instead, i’ll suggest several different possible solutions as you know your own situation and your family member/friend/the person better than i do. 

Without further bla bla, here’s the list: 

Possible ways to react to lgbt+-phobia when you’re in the closet: 

Example: Person says “I would never date a bi girl, they’re cheaters” 

Educate neutrally: “Bi means you’re attracted to two or more genders, it has nothing to do with faithfulness”, state a neutral fact that dismantles the lgbt+phobic statement without talking about yourself at all

May work best if: the person is indeed just uneducated about lgbt+ topics (rather than downright hateful), is okay with being proven wrong, is not overly suspicious of why you defend lgbt+ people (in case them finding out you are lgbt+ would put you in danger)

Play the “good straight ally” card: “That’s not true, one of my friends is bi and she would never cheat”, out yourself as a supporter rather than a member of the lgbt+ community 

May work best if: the person doesn’t know all your friends/you can easily make up a friend, the person is one of those people who stop being hateful as soon as their victim has a face 

Ignore and change the topic: “Talking about cheating, have you seen the movie You’ve got mail? It’s a romantic comedy, Sarah said it’s really cute but i didn’t watch it yet.”, say nothing in response to the lgbt+-phobia and try to steer the conversation to nicer topics

May work best if: they are too deep down in their hateful views for any of the above strategies to work, defending lgbt+ people would put you in danger

Avoid the person: This is less of a instant response but more a long-term solution that can only work in some cases. Break off the friendship (maybe gently and slowly by spending less and less time with the person). 

Only works if: you don’t depend on them (sadly this doesn’t work with parents you still live with or co-workers in a job you can’t quit)

May be necessary if: their lgbt+ phobia negatively impacts your mental health

Agree and silently think “F*ck you”: “Yeah, i understand!”, just agree and keep your thoughts to yourself

This is a painful thing to do and can certainly negatively impact your mental health but it may be necessary if: them finding out or even getting suspicious puts you in danger

Do you have any other advice? Feel free to add your thoughts/experiences to this post! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

10

#kdramawomensweek || day eight: Happy International Women’s Day

Yoo Eun Jae (Park Hye Soo), Yoon Jin Myung (Han Ye Ri), Jung Ye Eun (Han Seung Yeon) , Kang Yi Na (Ryu Hwa Young), Song Ji Won (Park Eun Bin) ↦ Age of Youth (2016)

“Others are just like me. Other people are people, just like I am. They feel as uncomfortable as I do, and hesitate, just like I do. There are plenty of people who are as nice as I am.”  - Eun Jae

“Everyone has their own circumstances to deal with. And until you know the circumstances they’re in, you can’t tell people how to live their lives. I’m sure you have something like that about you, too. Something that others can’t understand about you, but you can’t help. That’s why you can’t judge people.” - Ji Won  

“I hate you because I want to become like you, but can’t. So I can’t help but hate you. That’s why it smells. There’s a rotting smell coming from my envy.” - Yi Na

“Sometimes, I want to cry out loud. I want someone to hear me crying. I want them to hear me cry, and tell me everything will be okay. I want someone to pat me on the back, and tell me that it’s not my fault.” - Jin Myung

“Lies may be similar to makeup. Just like one puts on makeup to hide their naked face, people use lies to hide the truth. I tell more and more lies as my makeup gets thicker. Since when did I start feeling that going out with no makeup on was embarrassing? Since when did I become so ashamed of the truth?” - Ye Eun

Each of the Belle Epoque girls is meant to play some sort of female archetype. Eun Jae is the painfully shy introvert, who would sooner walk over hot coals than willingly enter into conflict with someone. Ji Won is her near-perfect opposite, loud and bubbly, the perennial friend. Yi Na is the femme fatale, dangerous and seductive. Jin Myung is the Good Daughter, putting herself through college while paying off her mother’s debts, incurred while her brother lays comatose in a hospital bed. Ye Eun is the quintessential girl. The one who dresses just as she’s supposed to, the one with the frat boy boyfriend, with equally perfectly-dressed girlfriends to link arms with and walk around campus, giggling over the latest gossip. 

Yet, they’re so much more than these skeletal stereotypes might’ve forced them to be. 

Eun Jae swallows her anger until she can’t anymore, until she boils over. She tosses Ye Eun’s designer handbag out the window and screams at her housemates. When we dig a little deeper, we see that she has nightmares. That she’d been brave enough to protect her mother when she’d suspected that her father might kill her.

Ji Won knows everyone, making friends is as easy for her as breathing. She is the glue that holds the Belle Epoque girls together. And she’s a pathological liar. Falsehoods slip out for her as easily as the truth does. She tells tall tales, spinning them until she can no longer take it back. Yet, even as she spins her web of lies (with the ghost inside the apartment), she holds the girls together. Though her “ghost” is a made-up story, each of her roommates has heaps of baggage. That little lie in the end allows them to come to terms with their pasts and face their problems. She is the anchor; without her, they drift.

Yi Na suffers from a serious case of survivors guilt, to the extent that she carries the little girl who died when she lived, around with her like baggage. She looks after her housemates like a mama bear, protecting them (see: Ye Eun) even when they don’t wish to be. She carries heaps of self-loathing along with her designer bags, flashes her luxuries at her friends even as she envies them. 

Jin Myung stretches herself fifty different ways trying to do it all. And she wishes her brother would die, and put them all out of their misery. She wishes her mother would choose her, for once. She wishes she would stop having to be the one to sacrifice. She provides for them still. But she resents and she loathes, and it tears her apart.

Ye Eun shows off her perfect life, her perfect love life, while suffering through an abusive relationship. Through a petty, small, excuse of a man who puts her down at every opportunity. He is her captor, and though she knows what he does is wrong, she can’t help but crave his affection. She let’s go, eventually. She begins to overcome the abuse, one day. She’ll carry on with her life, because it’s what they do.

Every single one of these incredibly special girls has a spine of steel.

The media, society has a horrible track record when it comes to forcing women into boxes, restricting our actions. Yet Age of Youth takes hold of these archetypes and shows us all that there is no “one size fits all”. That one shoe fitting doesn’t mean it’s the only one you can wear.

Happy International Women’s Day, everyone!

To Learn a Thing Well is not Necessarily to get a Traditional Education in that Thing

I like to learn things in my own unique way. To undertake a topic, I want to get to the gist of the matter right away, then go about finessing the finer details involved. Who is to say how a thing is to be studied? Is there only one way step by step way to learn? I think not.

If the desire in one is present and real, that person will learn about a thing and master it, even if their method is unconventional or contrary to traditional means.

For example, take music. Many great musicians cannot read a lick of music in its traditional written form. The public school system trys to teach one to become a musician by a very archaic method of learning to read music on a page, learn scales by there appropriate key scale note for note. They seem to be incapable of teaching creativity or relating the basic foundations of how to play “by ear.”

I learned to play an instrument via the public school method, and also learned how to play a different instrument via my own way. I am now much more proficient in the instrument I chose to learn on my own, why? Because I learned to play it in my own way and took the appropriate shortcuts to get to the gist of what music is. Forget learning to read, and learn the theories behind what makes notes and sound, actually sound good!

If learning to read music is so vital, how did blind people such as Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, or Blind Willie Johnson, learn to play and create music so well? Other great musicians such as Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan never learned to read music, but became great and influenced a generation.

Jimi Hendrix was left handed, and the guitars he played on were designed for a right handed person. He strung his guitars backwards and learned to play anyway. I have read accounts that he could still play a right handed guitar by simply turning it upside down and adjust his playing style accordingly. He knew how to reverse engineer the process, because he was an intuitive musician. Fender puts out many guitars in the style of a famous artist, and Hendrix guitars are made with a reverse head stock, mimicking his particular playing style.

I use music as an example here, but so many other topics or subjects could also be given. The ability to learn something is more about desire, not a particular method.

I have stated this in other posts I have made, but I can’t help but to say it again ; there is no such thing as ONE SIZE FITS ALL!!!

The systems of the world, such as public schools and even college are so inept at teaching one how to actually become good at something. Please realize that there is so much more to learn and master beyond a traditional education.

Perhaps I, as an intuitive person, say this in frustration, but I believe it speaks of a deeper problem prevalent in the American culture. Many so desperately want a formula of success to be handed to them in a step by step fashion, but the reality is, such a perfect formula does not truly exist.

One must be willing to embrace the reality that success is often acheived by learning to pave a new way and tackle challenges with a bit of faith and old fashion hard work rather than some guaranteed formula.

anonymous asked:

I know magick isn't a replacement for medical help but I'm super depressed and have been thinking of suicide and I started therapy again but I feel like it's impossible for me to get over my depression because I've grown so use to it over the years (does that make sense??) and I just-any suggestions? Spells? Self care remedies? Magick feel goods? I'll like hanging from a thread. Thank you so so so so much. You're such an inspiration.

If you are feeling suicidal or having suicidal thoughts, please talk to a professional if you can. The link will lead you to various hotlines if you need them.

I am really happy to hear that you are starting therapy, thats a good thing! Keep your head up and know that it is progress, and you can make it at your own pace. Change is hard when we are used to things, but change is a good thing sometimes! Remember that your depression is just something you have, it isn’t what defines you as a person… it isn’t forever. <3 You got this! 


I am going to copy and paste a few things from a few different posts I have made in the past, so this may be a little messy, but at least it will all be in one place!

Some herbs and crystals that may bring happiness or can be used in happiness spells if you make your own:

Herbs

  • Anise
  • Azalea
  • Banyan
  • Bee Polen
  • Beech
  • Black Cohosh
  • Brahmi
  • Burdock (removes negative feelings)
  • Catnip
  • Calamus Root
  • Cannabis
  • Chamomile
  • Cherry
  • Cyclamen
  • Geranium
  • Gotu Kola
  • Hawthorn
  • Iris
  • Lemon Balm
  • Lily
  • Lily Of The Valley
  • Neroli
  • Quince
  • Rose
  • Saffron
  • St. John’s Wort
  • Witches Grass
  • Yerba Mate

Crystals

  • Citrine
  • Golden Beryl
  • Lithium Quartz
  • Papagoite
  • Quartz
  • Rose Quartz
  • Sardonyx
  • Sunstone

When using herbs & crystals, please do your own research into possible effects and toxicities. Not all herbs listed above are safe to consume. One size does not fit all when it comes to crystals (herbs too), so keep that in mind. These lists are just my own personal correspondences, results may vary. Please also check with your doctor before consuming any herbs because they may interfere with medications.

Hopefully some of that helps! We are all here for you anon! <3