one-shot-one-kill

A widowmaker sketchy painting i did………didnt turn out as good as i wanted it so i wont finish it properly. i dunno whom shes shooting at, just wanted her by the morning window. “original”, bra-less version is under the cut.

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I haven’t made memes in a while. I’ve been sick

But here’s a fresh batch of dank meme harvested like 10 minutes ago

reaper: hey um amélie windowmaker how come your motto is “one shot one kill” if your average weapon accuracy is 12% and you’re very bad at killing pretty much everyone 

wîdow makér: um c’est a Sniperbole you bîtch

3

Une balle, un mort.

im dying

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do u ever take time for that one satisfying shot Bc Last nerve

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Old Times | Who Killed Markiplier

Request: None :)

Synopsis: The reader is asked to come after Mark is killed and has an unfortunate run in with someone they once loved.

Warnings: murder (*thunder noise*), blood, mentions of madness, possessiveness, obsession, spoilers for Who Killed Markiplier: The Final Chapter

A/N: Don’t judge me. Who Killed Markiplier fucked me up my dudes. Also this is my first post since remodeling the blog!

Originally posted by nsfwilfie

Originally posted by lum1natrix

You were unable to attend the party that night. Too much work, as usual. But when you received a call the morning after from Benjamin telling you that Mark was dead, you forgot all about work and got there as fast as you could.

It was hard to imagine, really. A dear childhood friend of yours was murdered and nobody knew how or why. You and Mark had been close at one point, not as close as you and Damien nor him and Celine, but close enough. You shared some great memories with him and now he was just…gone. It really makes you think about the fragility of human life, doesn’t it?

And just to make matters worse, you got another call from Benjamin saying that the body was missing, leaving you to wonder how you lose a corpse.

The manor was the same as always when you arrived, but also so…different. It looked the same of course but it also seemed to look darker, it felt darker. Like you were too late.

Too late? Too late for what exactly? It’s not like anything else happened. Benjamin would have told you, wouldn’t he? Later you supposed you probably shouldn’t have ignored the feeling that something had gone wrong.

You caught sight of the Colonel wandering outside, laughing to himself.

“Colonel?” You said as you approached him carefully.

He looked up in surprise at the sound of your voice. “Y/N?” He laughed again. “Were you in on this too? Oh, you guys really put some work into this, didn’t you?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Work into what? Colonel, you’re not making any sense.”

He continued to laugh. “You and Damien. Always up to something.”

“Damien.” He could help sort things out for you. And maybe put some sense back into the Colonel. “Wait, Colonel, where is Damien?”

He started to stumble away laughing again.

“Colonel?” You tried to catch his attention again. “Colonel!”

He was gone, perhaps too far gone. You invited yourself inside, needing answers and needing them now.

Inside was even worse than the outside. There was a pool of blood in the sitting room and if you looked up, a man-the detective, you noticed-was lying dead on the floor. Benjamin and Chef were nowhere to be found.

There was a broken mirror in the foyer. The cracks stretched outward like a spider’s web. A strange light was emitting from it. You could hear static as you got closer.

You raised your hand to touch it-

“Y/N?”

Your hand dropped. “Damien!”

You spun around to hug him and he tensed at the contact, which was odd for him. He grabbed your shoulders and held you at arms length. You gasped at his appearance. His skin was a pale grey, there were dark bags under his eyes, and his normally well-groomed hair fell forward into his face.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?”

Your ears started ringing.

“Benjamin told me that Mark was dead. He asked me to come…. Damien, what is going on?”

His hands curled into fists beside him as he sighed. He gestured to the small bench behind you. “Sit.”

You did.

“I can’t explain everything-not now-but Mark isn’t dead technically. He’s walking around in my body and-“ He breathed for a moment to contain his anger. “I stole this one. But I swear I will get my body back.” His voice took a darker tone. “And no one is getting in my way this time.”

You groaned. “You’re not making any sense either! First the Colonel and now you!” You stood with a huff. “I want real answers, Damien! Where is Benjamin and Chef and Celine? Who killed the Detective? What the hell is going on with the Colonel? More importantly, what the hell is going on with you?!”

“Y/N, you couldn’t possibly understand!”

This…this was not your Damien. This was not the man you once knew. This was not the same man that you laughed with, cried with, loved with…. He would never treat you like this.

“Damien…Damien, this is madness. I-I can’t. I’m going to take the Colonel to a doctor. I’m going to fix this.”

You turned towards the door. A hand wrapped painfully tight around your bicep.

“No.” Damien said sternly.

“Let me go, Damien.”

“No, you are staying here. With me.”

“Damien, the Colonel is sick. God damn it, you’re sick! You both need help!”

He grabbed your shoulders, shaking you slightly, his eyes manic. “No, Y/N, I’m going to get it back. I’m going to get my body back and we can be together again.” He brushed your hair behind your ear. “It’ll be just like old times.”

“No, Damien, no.” You struggled in his grip. “We can’t have that. Not now. Not like this.”

“I am not letting you get away this time.” He held you against his chest, rocking you back and forth, and burying his face in your hair. “I lost you once. I am not losing you again.”

He tilted his head down, his lips nearly touching your ear. “Darling, we are going to be together…”

“Forever.”

baby

lookie lookie at who wrote something finally lmao 

sorry if this is super confusing and sucks i tried lol also the little line in the middle indicates a POV change :) 

please please please let me know what you think! <3 


You sighed, tossing another baby magazine into the growing pile. All day you’ve been busy planning your older sister’s baby shower, it was now at least 6pm and you were beyond tired. You had to plan the whole thing along with your sister’s best friend, but she wasn’t doing much when it came to planning. She was more involved in deciding what kind of cake to get. Deciding you had enough of looking at baby decorations for the day, you neatly cleaned up the mess you created on the kitchen island and packed it all away in the corner. Since Shawn was going to be home soon you thought getting started on dinner would be a good idea. The poor boy is usually starving by the time he gets home from the studio and can usually eat a horse.

As you began preparing the ingredients for tonight’s dinner you couldn’t help but think about what it would be like if you and Shawn had a baby of your own. Shawn’s always loved kids and so have you so you always assumed you were going to have kids one day but you’ve been married for a few years now and neither of you have brought the topic up. Shawn was always busy though so you never really had time to talk about it. All the planning you’ve been doing for the past few days has made your baby fever go through the roof, all you could think about was a tiny human being that was half you and half Shawn.

Maybe it was time to bring up the topic to Shawn, you wouldn’t say much, you would just casually mention that you want a baby, or that you want a baby in the future. You decided on telling him over dinner even though you were nervous to see how he would react. Would he want a baby now? Maybe he doesn’t even want kids and you were going to be stuck with baby fever for life. You were sure he wanted kids though and you’ve seen the way he acted around his little cousins and your little niece, he absolutely adored them. He would make a great dad.

You heard the door close from your spot on the comfy sectional couch you bought a few months ago meaning Shawn was finally home. It was almost 7pm now and he was at the studio since before you even woke up, he was probably exhausted.

Your suspicions were correct when Shawn entered the living room and collapsed right on top of you, his arms wrapped around your torso and he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, letting out the biggest sigh you’ve ever heard.

“Bad day?” you asked, letting your hands run through his messy hair, earning another content sigh.

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the kids score is 6,378,531 points, and it has been shown that you gain one point per one planet killed (assuming it takes one shot to kill a planet)

i used a very primitive method to see how long it takes to load one shot and fire immediately, cutting an audio file of the video where the shot starts and right before the next one fires

given that:

  • the kid didnt miss any shots
  • the kid kept firing the gun as soon as its available to be fired
  • there are no “bonus planets” (planets that give you more points for being shot down)

it took the kid at least 10,652,146.77 seconds to achieve this score

that’s around 177536 minutes

or 2959 hours

or 123 days

a classic gaming emotion