one-one-three

masterlist

99% of this is smut! nsfw!
don’t repost/translate/use my stories without my permission.

Taehyung
» Zaddy one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight nine | ten | eleven | twelve
» Nowhere Fastone | two | three [hiatus]
» Surreptitious one | two | three [hiatus]
» Business [+Jungkook] – one | two
» Crossroads – one | two
» Nude – one | two | three
» oneshots: The Bet [+Jimin/Namjoon] |Fifteen Minutes Home for Christmas | Games
» drabbles: Nude | Annoying friend | Zaddy | Zaddy 2 | Zaddy 3 | Zaddy 4 | Zaddy 5 | Business

Jungkook
» Monster one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten
» Lightweight one | two
» Business [+Taehyung] – one | two 
» oneshots: Lollipop | Hands
» drabbles: Monster | Monster 2 | Monster 3 | Monster 4 | Forbidden | Business

Jimin
» Sin Cityone | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten
» Benefits one |two |three
» Good Boyone | two |three
» oneshots: The Bet [+Taehyung/Namjoon] | Birthday Boy [+Yoongi] 
» drabbles: Sin City | Sin City 2 | Sin City 3    

Yoongi
» oneshots: Ocean Drive | Baby, Can I?| Red Dress| Birthday Boy [+Jimin] | Take Care | King of Wishful Thinking
» Self-Controlone | two | three [completed]
» drabbles: Self-Control | King of Wishful Thinking 

Hoseok
» Forbidden – one | two | three
» drabbles: Forbidden | Forbidden 2

Namjoon
» oneshots: The Bet [+ Jimin/Taehyung] | A Favor | Jealous

Jin
» oneshots: Perfect Washing Machine

Text drabbles Yoongi | Jimin

  • Percy: Grover and I are the best friends on this planet.
  • Annabeth: Well, that's cute.'Cause Thalia and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Thalia and I finish each other's-
  • Thalia: -Sentences!
  • Percy: Yeah? That all you do?
  • Grover: Because Percy-
  • Percy: -And I-
  • Grover: -Can read-
  • Percy: -Each other's-
  • Grover: -Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!
  • Percy and Grover: Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, Chiron!
  • Thalia: Yeah, right. Like we can't do that.
  • Annabeth: We can't.
  • Thalia: One, two, three! Rainbows!
  • Annabeth: Can't do it!

Haechan: Mark and I are the best friends on this planet.

Ten:  Well, that’s cute.‘Cause Johnny and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Johnny and I finish each others-

Johnny:  -Sentences!

Haechan:  Yeah? That all you do?

Mark:  Because Haechan-

Haechan:  -And I

Mark:  -Can read

Haechan:  -Each other’s

Mark:  -Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!

Mark and Haechan:  Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, Taeyong!

Ten:  Yeah, right. Like we can’t do that.

Johnny:  We can’t.

Ten:  One, two, three! Rainbows!

Johnny:  Can’t do it!

  • Lance: Hunk and I are the best friends on this planet.
  • Keith: Well, that's cute.'Cause Pidge and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Pidge and I finish each other's-
  • Pidge: -Sentences!
  • Lance: Yeah? That all you do?
  • Hunk: Because Lance-
  • Lance: -And I
  • Hunk: -Can read
  • Lance: -Each other's
  • Hunk: -Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!
  • Hunk and Lance: Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, Shiro!
  • Pidge: Yeah, right. Like we can't do that.
  • Keith: We can't.
  • Pidge: One, two, three! Rainbows!
  • Keith: Can't do it!

Eliza: Angelica and I are the best friends on this planet.

Hamilton: Well, that’s cute. ‘Cause Laurens and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Laurens and I finish each other’s–

Laurens: –Sentences!

Eliza: Yeah? That all you do?

Angelica: Because Eliza–

Eliza: –And I–

Angelica: –Can read–

Eliza: –Each other’s–

Angelica: –Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!

Eliza and Angelica: Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, Peggy!

Laurens:
Yeah, right. Like we can’t do that.

Hamilton: We can’t.

Laurens: One, two, three! Rainbows!

Hamilton: Can’t do it!

2

Gotham City Sirens Print Giveaway Contest!

Well this hit 2,000 notes in a pretty short amount of time, so to celebrate I’ve decided to hold a little contest!

1st place randomly chosen winner will receive all three prints in the large size (11x14), and I’ll pick a couple of runner up winners to receive the smaller prints–either the three small size (5x7) or the one medium one with all three in it (6x18), winner’s choice!  (Mostly because I was indecisive as to which one to print–like I like all three of them in the panoramic, but the cropped 5x7 ones came out nice too…)  Here are the official rules:

1. Reblog and/or Like this post as many times as you like, I don’t care–if you really want these prints feel free to reblob a million times

2. Must be following me to win!  This is a thanks to my followers who liked/reblogged the piece initially as well as to all the new followers I’ve gotten recently, so I would love for one of you guys to win and not some random non-follower

3. Deadline to enter is about three weeks from now on Sunday, April 2 at midnight Jersey time (ET) and the winner will be announced at some point after that

4. Participants must have their ask box/messenger thing open so that I can contact the randomly chosen winner for their mailing address

5. Doesn’t matter where you live, I’ll mail to anywhere—as long as you’ve got a legit mailing address somewhere and a mail person can reach you it’ll get there

I believe that covers everything!  Contest begins now, good luck everybody!

First you cry, and then you cry. You get on a metro and go where it takes you. You leave your phone behind and go around the city alone. Get on a bus and get lost in the sounds: of traffic, of music. Jump in potholes, get your shoes dirty. Walk on the sidewalk, walk with grace. Let your hair down, let the wind untangle your knots. Go get a piercing, go try some street food. Count the red cars, then count the blue: one two three, one two three; make a wish, make another. Sit in cafes, sit on rocks, take polaroids. Run, run, run till you’ve conquered every street, every raindrop, every shadow under every lamp post. Tell every corner, “I was here, I was here.”

One step, then another, you come back home. You come back slowly, you come back calm. Play some music, your hands in the air, close your eyes and dance. Then change the song, lay still on the floor.
First you cry, and then you laugh. Then you laugh, and then you laugh.

To the Girl on the Train

I don’t think anyone else can see you. Is that silly? But I’ve ridden the train every day to work and back, and you’re always there, reading a book in the corner. I’ve never seen you get on or off. I never see anyone else speak with you. You never look up. No one looks at you. Except for me. I always look at you, as though I cannot bare to look away.

I’ve ridden the train for two years now. You’ve never changed. Never once. I tried riding at different times. You were still there. Same spot. No one approached you, or sat beside you. I tried, once, to walk toward you but found myself at the other end of the train car whenever I got close. So I content myself to watch.

The only thing about you that changes is your books. At first they were all plain, black leather, but with different spirals of gold on the spines. Then, as I watched, those changed. There were titles in languages I didn’t know. So many languages. But one day, one day three days ago, I saw words I recognised on the cover.

Enjoying Your Trip? by Daily Rider

Two days ago, I got on the first train. I made sure I was the first aboard. There you were. I rode all day, for hours and hours. Other people were giving me strange looks for never getting off, but, they couldn’t exactly stop me. I was going to speak to you. I didn’t know how. Your book’s cover read:

Why Are You Staring? by Curious Observer

The last call came to get off the train. Everyone left but you. I stayed on the train. I stayed and stayed until someone saw me on the cameras I guess, and forced me to get off. They didn’t say a word to you. I didn’t mention you to them, I couldn’t find the words. I went home to think.

I brought a card with me yesterday. Not a book, just a greeting card, blank on the inside but outside there was the one phrase I wanted desperately to tell you.

I Love You

The author didn’t matter. The words didn’t matter. But I pretended to read the blank words, and I sweated, and I waited for some sign until I had to get off the train.

And today, today I see you holding a new book. A new book, with a blood red cover, and gold letters. It says:

What Is Love If It’s Blank Inside? by Ican Seethrough Yureyes

I think you’re having fun with me. But I don’t care. I’m filling this card with words, and so when I read it next time I’m on that train, you will see them, and you will know. I can’t help but love you. I’ve always loved you. I loved you from the moment you laughed in English class at the seat beside mine. I loved you when you cried at the movies when we went together. I loved you when you kissed me under a tree in your garden and you whispered how it was like a fairy tale, just as you had always wanted. I loved you when I heard you had slipped and fallen onto the tracks.

I miss you. I love you. I’m glad I still get to see you, even now, like this. You seem to be doing alright. I hope you’re enjoying your trip.

Polaroids : Jonathan Byers x Reader

Originally posted by gillijacobs

A/N: Oops, I went a little crazy on this one, but I hope you like it!

“Happy Holidays, Byers family!” You shout throughout the little house, all decked out in a cheesy Christmas sweater and Santa hat.

“Jonathan! Your favorite weirdo is here!” Will yells from the couch. You just give him a playful glare and he laughs. “You know you’re my favorite, (Y/N),” he says with a smile.

“I better be, Byers.” You point your finger at him and toss a box into his chest. Will reacts just in time and catches the box upright. “You’re welcome.”

Will’s eyes go wide and he jumps up to hug you. “Thank you so much, (Y/N)!”

Presents were a rarity in the Byers’ house, so you made sure that you would bring gifts for every holiday. Whether it be Christmas, birthdays, Halloween, or even weird ones like Arbor Day. You started doing that when you first spent Christmas with the Byers’ two years ago. There were maximum 8 presents to split between everyone under their little Christmas tree, and it made your heart hurt. 

“You’re welcome, Will. I have some more for everyone in my car if you want to grab them,” you pry him off and present him with your car keys. He eagerly takes them from your hands, dashing to the driveway. Jonathan finally appears in the living room with his hands behind his back, obviously holding something. 

“Hey, babe,” you say, greeting him with a small kiss. “I have a present for you.”

“You know you didn’t have to get me anything, (Y/N),” he starts. “You always get me gifts, even for pointless holidays.”

“What?” you pout. “I can’t spoil my boyfriend?”

Jonathan places the little box on the couch before his arms snake around your waist, pulling you closer. You wrap your arms around his neck and give him another kiss. “It’s just that…I feel like I need to spoil you. You’re so amazing and you deserve everything, which I can’t give to you.”

“Hey, Byers, I don’t need any gifts. You are the best thing that I could have.” You smile, looking straight into his eyes. “Plus, I enjoy spoiling you guys a little. You all work so hard, especially your mom, and you all deserve it.”

Jonathan touches his forehead to yours gently. “Wow, I love you,” he whispers before attaching his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. You start to melt a little when you hear the front door slam, prompting you both to pull away. Will stands at the door with a pile of presents in his arms, trying not to topple over. Jonathan just shakes his head at you, knowing that all of them were from you.

“What?” you attempt to look innocent but just end up smiling. You go over to help Will place all the presents under the tree as Jonathan takes a couple off the top of the pile. You all make your way over to the tree and set them down gently. Joyce walks in on you three, drying her hands on a towel, completely puzzled with what was taking place.

“Um, hello?” Joyce suddenly says, startling all of you. You’re the first to stand, followed by Will then Jonathan. “What’s going on?”

“Hi, Mrs. Byers!” You say, rummaging for one of her gifts. You find the one in gold wrapping paper and hand it to her. “Merry Christmas!”

A small smile forms on her face and she pulls you in for a hug. “Thank you so much, (Y/N). You have no idea how much this means to me. I feel like I need to repay you.”

“It’s really no problem, Mrs. Byers. I promise.” You hug her back and when she finally lets go, you can see a few tears in her eyes.

“Oh, wait! Let me go get the camera!” She quickly adds, wiping her eyes. She comes back a few seconds later with an old Polaroid camera in her hands. “Alright, all of you get together!”

You three arrange yourselves in front of the tree and smile wide, arms wrapped protectively around one another. “One, two, three!”

Joyce snaps two pictures and grabs them one by one as they slide out of the camera. She hands one to you and holds on to one for herself. 

She smiles at the scene in front of her, content for once in a long time. “My beautiful little family,” she whispers to herself. “My beautiful, little family.”

BTS reaction to an accidental kiss with their best friend

A/N: Gosh at this point, these things should be called drabbles, not reactions anymore. This is like 300 words per member  y I K E S. Which is why I have to put this under the read more cut, sigh. PLUS, I know I have a couple of requests but at this rate, it’s going to take me a while! I just thought of this cute idea though one day and I was like “yeeep, I gotta churn this out first before I work on requests–it’s too cute.” I am sorry not sorry for Namjoon’s imagine. It is so cliche I’m screaming. Actually, all of this is too gosh darn fluffy and cute ew. Some of them probably doesn’t even make sense bUT YA KNOW WHAT: please enjoy <3 

Keep reading

Dan: Phil and I are the best friends on this planet.

PJ: Well, that’s cute. ‘Cause Chris and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Chris and I finish each other’s–

Chris: –Sentences!

Dan: Yeah? That all you do?

Phil: Because Dan–

Dan: –And I–

Phil: –Can read–

Dan: –Each other’s–

Phil: –Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!

Dan and Phil: Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, anime!

Chris:
Yeah, right. Like we can’t do that.

PJ: We can’t.

Chris: One, two, three! Rainbows!

PJ: Can’t do it!

Friend Zoned: Pt. 2

Pairing: Klaus x Reader x Kol x Rebekah

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1481

PART ONE | PART THREE


(One week later…)

Today is your day off and of course, you had nothing to do so you decided to go to the Mikaelson’s mansion. You tried calling Kol’s phone to let him know you’re coming over but he didn’t answer. So instead, you called Klaus instead to see if he’s up to anything today. To your luck, he was at home painting, so you let him know that you’re coming over.

You and Klaus have a different relationship than you and Kol do. There’s something about you as a person that Klaus adores and feels the need to protect. And yes, Klaus IS the mystery man that you have feelings for, but you couldn’t tell Kol about it, not just yet. Especially since he just recently confessed his feelings for you. You didn’t want to hurt him, so you wanted to give it time before telling Kol.

A part of you felt like Klaus could possibly feel the same way about you because of the way he talks to you and treats you, compared to how he does with others. He’s not as patient with other people than he is with you. But unfortunately, your pride was too big that you didn’t bother asking or confessing to Klaus, so you just rode the wave. And whatever happens, happens.

Arriving to the Mikaelson mansion, you rang the doorbell. “It’s unlocked!” Klaus shouted from inside his home. When you walked in, the first thing you noticed was Klaus painting in his living room, with music playing from his stereo. He had a couple of empty canvases resting on the floor.

“It’s me.” You announced your arrival.

Klaus turned his head to see that it’s you, he smiled then went back to his painting. “Well hello, Y/N. Care to join?”

You furrowed your brows. “Join? What?” Join as in painting? Because painting is not your forte whatsoever. 

“I’d rather not repeat myself, love.” Klaus was going back and forth, dipping his brush into paint and painting the half-finished canvas.

You grunted, throwing your purse on the couch. “Okay fine. But I’m just letting you know, I’m terrible. The only thing I know how to paint is a sun and stick figure people, with grass here and there.”

“Well alright then.” Klaus laughed, then took of the canvas he was working on, setting it on the floor. He grabbed one of the blank canvases so that the two of you can paint on that instead. “Let’s start with this.”

Klaus had a couple of paint stains on his Henley, but he didn’t care because he’s rich and can buy a million more. But as for you, you’re not as blessed with money like he is. “Wait. Uh, my shirt.” You said worryingly, tugging on your shirt.

Klaus rolled his eyes. “I’ll buy you another, love.”

“I bought this over a year ago in San Francisco.” You pouted. “I doubt that you can.”

“Alright, princess.” Klaus said jokingly. “I’ll be back.” He smiled and bowed with his arms wide out, trying to be funny for your high-maintenanced self, then he went upstairs to his room.

Klaus came back down with one of his grey henleys, throwing it to you to catch. “Here you go, your majesty. Wear this over your blouse.”

“Thanks Klaus.” You did as he said, throwing his shirt over your clothes. You’re pretty petite, so it looked a bit baggy on you, making you laugh. “It’s huge on me.”

This made Klaus chuckle. “No matter.” He smiled, thinking to himself that you looked cute in his shirt. But having that ego of his, he kept that comment to himself. “Now let’s get started. Shall we?”

(30 minutes later…)

Although the canvas looked a bit terrible because of you, the both of you had a fun time. You even brought bourbon in the mix and turned the music louder than it was when you first arrived.

Being too distracted, you didn’t hear Kol and Rebekah come in. Kol did try calling you back earlier when he was out, but the loud music prevented you from hearing your iPhone’s ringtone.

“Well they look like they’re having fun.” Rebekah said to Kol as they both watched you and Klaus painting together.

“Yeah, too much perhaps.” Kol said in a low tone, Rebekah barely heard.

“What was that?” Rebekah asked while walking towards the kitchen. They both had bags in their hands from grocery shopping. It’s something they did together every other week.

“Nothing, Bekah.” Kol responded, mean mugging the two of you from his jealousy.

Kol wasn’t dumb, it was very easy for him to see that it’s Klaus that you had your eyes on. He could tell by your body language and how playful you were being with each other. Kol saw Klaus laughing and you laughing back when he purposely got paint on your nose, and not to mention, wearing Klaus’s shirt made Kol even more jealous.

He felt a pit in his stomach. He’s never seen his older brother having this much fun with anyone after all these years. Kol did feel hurt that that person just happened to be you. He always knew that you and Klaus got along pretty well, but he didn’t ever think in his head that the two of you would ever be an item. Up until today. It hurt him even more knowing it’s his own brother.

You both just so happened to see Kol from the corner of your eyes. Klaus turned the music down a little to greet Kol from afar, grinning at him. “Well hello, little brother.”

“Hi Kol!” You waved, giving a big smile because you were happy to see your friend.

Kol forced a smile with a wave, then followed Rebekah into the kitchen. You were too oblivious to pick up on his body language that you went back to what you were doing.

Kol wasn’t being the usual hyper and talkative Kol, which Rebekah eventually caught onto. She knows her brother and he’s never been this quiet. Something was definitely wrong.

“Are you alright?” Rebekah stopped unloading, standing there watching Kol’s moves.

“Peachy, sister.” His face didn’t look ‘peachy’ at all. He had a straight face on.

Rebekah vampire sped up to Kol, stopping him from touching another item of the unloaded groceries on the counter. “I know my brother and you don’t look dandy.” Rebekah rested her hand on Kol’s hand. “Tell me, what is it?”

“It’s Y/N.” Kol sighed.

“What did she do to you? You two seemed perfectly fine last week.”

“Nothing. Nothing.” Kol paused, backing up to the counter, resting his elbows on it from behind. “I confessed to her that I fancy her and the feelings aren’t… mutual.” Kol frowned.

“Well yeah. Because Y/N loves Nik. And I think he loves her too, he just won’t admit it to anyone. Not even her. ” She quickly glanced over at you and Klaus.

“How did you know about Y/N’s feelings for our hybrid of a brother?” Kol questioned. 

“She told me of course.” Rebekah paused, looking up to think. “Not too long ago, actually.”

“That’s not annoying.”  Kol was bothered that you told Rebekah before telling him. What made it even worse is that he found out on his own.

“I can’t believe she never told you. I mean, I guess I could see why. Knowing Y/N, she probably just wanted to spare your feelings because even I know that she cares about you.”

“Yeah, but definitely not the way she cares about Nik.” Kol scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I’m really sorry, Kol. I had no idea you were fond of her in the first place. She never mentioned that to me.” Rebekah tried being as sympathetic as she could to her brother.

“Ah. No matter. I’ll get over it. Maybe in a decade, maybe in a century, or maybe never.” Kol shrugged, revealing that fake smile again to hide the pain. “A doll like her is almost impossible to come across.” 

Kol’s fake smile quickly faded from the rejection sinking in. Rebekah could now see the hurt in his eyes. “You really love her?” Rebekah asked.

Kol answered with a nod.

Rebekah walked up to Kol, giving him a tight hug. “My poor brother.” She let go of the hug, then cupped Kol’s cheeks with her hands, looking at him directly in the eyes. “Just promise me you won’t go on a rampage. We don’t want you killing every resident of Mystic Falls.”

“I can’t make any promises.” Kol gave Rebekah as kiss on the cheek, then vampire sped out the door. 

“Kol!” Rebekah sighed, feeling concerned about what Kol is going to do next. She stayed put because she knows that following after him will only make matters worse.

God knows where he went off to.

_________________

*Let me know if you guys would like a part three! I had a lot of fun writing this <3

The way the golden light captivated them from straight above and the music swirled like rising ocean tides around them made them feel as if they were the only dancers in the room. The rest of time and space fell away until it was only one, two, three, one, two, three.  (Curtain in 5, 4…. AO3)

For my Steve/Bucky Civil War fix-it needs (and yours)

“How long?” Bucky asks, when he wakes up, and Steve is next to him, waiting. He’s in a hospital bed, not in the tank. It’s a good sign, but – Bucky wants to reach out, to make certain that he’s real, that this isn’t then, that no one will –  

“One year, three months, four days. You’re safe. The triggers are gone.” Steve says, voice heavy with swallowed emotion. He’s visibly hesitant when he places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

It’s warm, solid, real, and affectionate. It’s too damn good to be real, but even HYDRA couldn’t fake that. Shit. Steve strokes Bucky’s collarbone with his thumb, absentminded, like he can’t help it. Bucky’s never been so aware of something in his life. 

“I’ve got to tell you something, Buck,” Steve says – and here it is, the catch. He take a breath. “You were – you are – worth it. All of it. I’d do it all again. Every time. I choose you. Always.”

Something tight unravels in Bucky’s chest. “How long have you been sitting on that one, you sap?”

“One year, three months, four days,” Steve says. “Longer. Since you said you weren’t.”

Bucky moves to get up, restless with – guilt, emotion, lots of things. 

“Sorry, Buck,” Steve says, keeping him down with a gentle shove. “Doctor’s orders.” 

“Did hell freeze over while I was out? ‘Cause you sure as shit never cared about those.” 

Steve ducks his head and smiles. “I care when it’s your doctor. Rest, Buck. We’ve got time. I mean – you’ve got time. We don’t have to –” 

“’We’ sounds good to me,” Bucky says, in spite of himself, in spite of what he’s done, in spite of everything. He can’t resist. 

Still hesitant, Steve’s hand moves from Bucky’s shoulder, to his hair. Bucky hasn’t been touched like Steve’s been touching him – soft, caring – in seventy years. So what can he do? He melts. Steve keeps stroking his hair, and they stay like that, together – and yeah, “we” sounds good. If Bucky’s being honest, it sounds even better than that. 

  • Baekhyun: Chanyeol and I are the best friends on this planet.
  • Sehun: Well, that's cute.'Cause Jongin and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Jongin and I finish each others-
  • Jongin: -Sentences!
  • Baekhyun: Yeah? That all you do?
  • Chanyeol: Because Baekhyun-
  • Baekhyun: -And I
  • Chanyeol: -Can read
  • Baekhyun: -Each other's
  • Chanyeol: -Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!
  • Chanyeol and Baekhyun: Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, Yixing!
  • Jongin: Yeah, right. Like we can't do that.
  • Sehun: We can't.
  • Jongin: One, two, three! Rainbows!
  • Sehun: Can't do it!
  • Lucy: Levy and I are the best friends on this planet.
  • Natsu: Well, that's cute.'Cause Happy and I are the best friends in all of existence. Which includes your little crummy planet. Happy and I finish each other's-
  • Happy: -Sentences!
  • Levy: Yeah? That all you do?
  • Lucy: Because Levy-
  • Levy: -And I-
  • Lucy: -Can read-
  • Levy: -Each other's-
  • Lucy: -Minds. Ready? What am I thinking of? One, two, three!
  • Both: Pizza! One, two, three, clouds! One, two, three, Erza!
  • Natsu: Yeah, right. Like we can't do that.
  • Happy: We can't.
  • Natsu: One, two, three! Rainbows!
  • Happy: Can't do it!