Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I’m fascinated by weird religious panics about kids’ pop culture from the last few decades, from D&D being accused of teaching kids witchcraft to He-Man being picked apart for occult symbolism. So I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been some loud, widely-publicized moral panic about Steven Universe from the religious fundamentalist crowd yet. I mean, think about it, we have a popular cartoon show aimed at children that features:

  • At least one canonical same-sex couple, as well as at least a couple major examples of same-sex attraction
  • A main character who is stated to have been born out of wedlock and raised by a non-traditional family unit
  • At least a few instances of “suggestive” dance moves
  • Magic and violence being shown as a good and positive thing
  • A major symbol for the good guys being a five-pointed star
  • Use of mystical/magical crystals (fundies are still suspicious about that aspect of new age culture, right?)
  • Seeing the future via a “third eye” (this is one thing I recall that fundies complaining about occult elements in cartoons back in the 80s LOVED to rail about)
  • A character who uses shapeshifting to turn into animal forms (another aspect of “occult” religions and beliefs that 80s-era fundies got their undies in a bunch over) or even to transform from a female form to a male one
  • A character who defies the gender binary and is attractive to both men AND women

I mean, I certainly wouldn’t agree with such a moral panic, but in a world where The Loud House can get yelled at by One Million Moms for featuring a pair of gay parents in one episode, I’m honestly baffled that this entire show managed to slip by the religious types’ radar.

Man, fundies really lost their touch since the Satanic Panic ended, huh?

Reasons One Million Moms want Claws cancelled:

Dark program where Christianity and Catholicism is blasphemed

Prostitution ring discussed in front of Girl Scout troop

Raw sex that surpasses soft porn

Domestic violence with men punching women

Strippers on pole at funeral in front of priest


Homosexual and lesbian oral sex

Reasons to watch Claws:

Niecy Nash

Women led cast

Executive Produced by Rashida Jones

Dark program where Christianity and Catholicism is blasphemed

Raw sex that surpasses soft porn

Strippers on pole at funeral in front of priest


Homosexual and lesbian oral sex

  • M*ms pr*vide child**n w*th condoms b* k**ping * fu*l s*ock i* th* ch*ldren*s b*thro*m, whi*h le*ds t* t*en sex sc*ne
  • W*en on* s*n ha* *nprotect*d sex, o*e *f h*s *om* g*ves *he g*rl th* m*rn*ng a*te* p*ll w*th*ut h*r par*nt’s cons*nt b**cause he* p*r*nts ar* C*ris*ian *nd w**ld n*t *ave **proved
  • O*e s*n *s *nv*ted t* ch*rch c*mp, b*t on* mo* w*n’t a*l*w *im *o *o b*c*use t*e *hurch d*es*’t *pprove *f th*ir **mily
  • C*rist*an b*sh**g *y on* m*m an* * ***lfrien*’s par*nts gi** in*orrect in*ormation a*o*t t** Ch***tia* fa*th
  • **e a**l* s**a** n*g*ti*e*y a***t r**ig**n w**ile **he*s **** * *i**to*te* r****sen****o* o* Ch****ia****
  • Illegal immigrants
  • * *********** *********** ***** ***** *** *** **** **** ****** *** ******* ** ******* alcohol ** **** ***** *** ********** *** **** ***** ****** *** **** ***** ********** ** **
  • ******* ****** ******* ***** sex life *** ***** *** ***** ******* ******** ** *** ******** ** * ***

Having the planet filled with horrible people makes it easier to be good.

If Westboro babtist thinks it’s a bad idea, there’s a great possibility that it is a good idea.

If “One Million Moms” thinks it’s offensive, then it’s most likely OK for everyone.

If the KKK thinks something isn’t racist, it probably is.

Shout-out to the narrow minded fucks of the world for making the moral compass of sane folks point in the right direction.

Bigots are Hateful, Sky is Blue

You’ve probably heard about the latest plea for attention from the uber-conservative One Million Moms. They want Marvel and DC to abandon all their gay characters and storylines and present a moral heteronormative example for the children. 

And I’m pretty not much not going to talk about that. It’s stupid and they’re stupid. Instead, I’m going to talk about a different thing, addressing right to One Million Moms.

One Million Moms,

If you want to get mad at comics on behalf of the children, let me provide you with some material. Because, holy crap, there is a lot of it. 

There’s this:

And this:

Does the fact that heroic characters are engaging in (what you consider) questionable moral behavior bother you? How about this?

There are countless other examples that I have neither the time or the inclination to post. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I want comics to stop depicting gratuitous sex and graphic violence. And I don’t need my characters to be bastions of morality. But you’re “Moms” (with a capital “M”!) and for some reason you choose to protest creative content rather than just not buy the material for your child. Which is fine because, hey, it’s a free country. But instead of protesting that stuff on behalf of The Children, you choose to protest this:

Priorities. Maybe you should consider getting some.
Maryland family faces harsh criticism after daughter is featured in ‘American Girl’ magazine
Maryland family faces harsh criticism after daughter featured in American Girl magazine.

One Million Moms: How can we demonstrate to the American people that we’re pro-family values?

Conservatives: Hmmm…maybe you could shame and attack a sweet little eleven-year-old girl simply for having two dads?


The goal of One Million Moms is to get rid of violence and vulgarity in the media by petitioning TV shows get cancelled.

I have a better idea. If you don’t want your kids watching it…


You don’t have to force everyone else to not watch whatever it is you don’t like.

It’s as simple as that.