one-direction-1d

Harry Styles - “Confessions” Part Five

This is the conclusion to the series! I hope you all have enjoyed it and that this lives up to your expectations. Thanks for all of the love and support I have received for this imagine. Means the world to me.


Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four


“How long does it take to get the results of this test?” You wonder out loud to Harry later that evening. The two of you were headed for LAX, going to pick up Anne, whose flight was to be landing at any minute. Harry had gone early that morning and gotten his blood drawn, as did the mother. Harry told you the two of them didn’t see or speak to each other though, which was good. 

“They said a couple of days but would rush it because of the circumstances.” Harry explains, keeping his eyes forward and both hands tight on the steering wheel.

“You mean because of who you are.” You clarified for him. “If you aren’t the father, they’ll want to know as soon as possible so they can make sure no one starts rumors you’re having a child, and if they do they have proof that you aren’t.” 

“Can we jus’ not talk abou’ this? ’m nervous, ’m scared, I don’ need you over here sayin’ stuff like tha’ to make me feel worse.” This was the first time he had snapped at you in awhile, especially since all of this had happened. It showed you just how much this was taking a toll on him. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, reaching over to rest your hand on his bicep. “I was just thinking out loud, I guess.” You tell him, removing your hand. He sighs, instantly regretting the tone of voice he had taken with you. He glances over at you but you weren’t looking at him and instead were focused on the buildings and cars flying past outside your window. 

Harry had felt a sense of hope last night and this morning that things would be okay with the two of you. You had kissed him, you had said you loved him, you’d laughed and joked with him this morning when he got home from the doctors office. Things felt normal and okay again. And he knew the results of the paternity test would most likely determine if you would return back to London as his girlfriend or his ex to never see him again. 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about all of this anymore. Of course, he didn’t particularly want this baby, but if it was his he knew he would love it completely and raise him or her to the best of his ability, even if that meant he would lose you. He would be a parent and he would have to do what he had to for his child. For the fear of losing you alone was the only reason he was praying the baby turned out not to be his. He hadn’t let himself feel that emotional connection yet. He hadn’t seen an ultrasound, he hadn’t heard a heartbeat, right now it was an abstract idea, a phantom consuming his thoughts until all of this was resolved. 

“Hey,” Harry breaks from his thoughts and looks over at you for a second, seeing that you were looking at him with concern riddled across that beautiful face. You reach over, resting a hand on his leg. “You alright?” 

“Jus’ thinkin’.” Harry answers, turning back to the road. They were almost at the airport. He couldn’t wait to see his mother. He needed the comfort of his mothers arms around him as he figured this all out. You were also excited to see her. Anne had always been such a comfort to you and it was going to be nice to have her around to help. 

“What about?” You wonder, your hand still resting on his leg. You see him bite at his lower lip, clearly unsure if he wanted to tell you what was on his mind or not. “You don’t have to tell me.” You assure him but he shakes his head. 

“’m jus’ thinkin’ abou’ how I’ll feel if the baby isn’ mine and how I’ll feel if it is mine.” He explains quietly, giving a small shrug of his muscular shoulders. “I don’ feel a connection yet and I know the only way there would be chance of you forgiving me would be if I wasn’ the father so I prefer tha’ instead of a child with someone else righ’ now.” 

“Whether you’re the father or not, you still cheated and then lied to me, Harry. I’m not going to just forgive you because you might not be the father.” Though admittedly, you would be more so open to resolving all of this if he wasn’t going to be tied down to a child. 

“Yeah, bu’ if ‘m no’ then I have more time to spend on gettin’ you back.” He grins over at you then and takes your hand from his leg to bring the back of your hand up to his lips. He glances over at you as his soft lips kiss your skin before he puts your hand back on his leg and focuses back on the road. You’re heart raced at his touch, your mind going a mile a minute. 

You didn’t speak for the remainder of the trip, which was thankfully not much, but you did keep your hand on his leg. Once you saw Anne and you both got out of the car, heading to greet her, she pulled you both into a hug one at a time, holding you both close against her as you hug her just as tightly back. 

“Oh, Harry,” She comments, resting a hand on her son’s cheek as she looks into his tired and clearly stressed face but he gives her a smile, not wanting to upset her more than he already had. He hugs her again before he takes her bags and heads to put them in the back of his car while the two of you hug again. 

The drive home was thankfully not awkward. Baby talk didn’t happen, instead Anne shared stories of what was going on at home, what her and Robin had been up to, as well as Harry’s sister Gemma. It was nice to talk about something other than the baby and cheating and just pretend that everything was okay again.

“So, am I taking the guest room or is it pre-occupied?” Anne questioned when Harry was close to pulling into the driveway. That’s when you glance over at Harry, realizing the two of you clearly hadn’t thought about that. You’d been sleeping in the guest room still while he was in your old bedroom. Now with Anne needing the guest room where would you go. 

“I’ll just… I’ll take the couch. It will only be for a few days anyway.” You answer, giving a shrug. The couch was plenty big enough and decently comfortable so it shouldn’t be too bad. 

“I’ll take the couch.” Harry argues. “Or, you could stay with me. We have a huge bed, or well… I have a huge bed.. we won’ have to sleep close together or anythin’.” You bite your lip but decide he was right. You wouldn’t have to be close to him as the bed was in fact huge with plenty of space but you had to admit it would still be a little bit weird and hard to be so close in a bed that the two of you had once been intimate in but it would have to do for the next few days until all of this was finished and you returned home. 

It was so nice to have Anne there. She helped fill that awkward silence that sometimes fell between you and Harry. She also made it easy to not talk about the current situation, the two of you were escaping all of it finally and it felt so nice to have laughs and comfort instead of arguing and tears. 

“Jus’ kick me if I ge’ too close.” Harry comments to you after the two of you had gotten ready for bed. You were pulling all the extra pillows off the bed that Harry had always been annoyed by. He always claimed that you didn’t need more than what you used to sleep so why overload the bed with smaller decorative ones? You said it made the room complete and they were staying, so he put up with it but you had to admit, the task of taking them off every night did get kind of annoying, as did having to put them all back on in the morning. “You know I like a cuddle.” 

“And you know I have no problem kicking you.” You respond with an innocent smile to which his response was to grab a pillow and toss it at you. You laugh as it bounces off your arm that you held up to shield yourself. “You can kick me if I get too close too. Not that I will but ya know, just in case.” 

“Yeah, I will.” He smirks at you as the two of you pull back the blankets and slide into bed. You sigh as you collapse back into the pillows, pulling the thick blanket up to your chin as you sink into the mattress. You had missed this comfortable bed. 

Surprisingly, the two of you did keep your distance from one another throughout the night. He stayed on his side, and you on yours. He woke before you and couldn’t help but smile over at your sleeping form, needing to resist the urge to pull you close against him like he used to. He knew you wouldn’t like that though so instead he just leaned in, pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, careful not to wake up, before sliding out of bed. 

“Mornin’, sunshine.” He greeted you when you entered the kitchen a little while later. He lifts his forkful of eggs in a greeting before sliding the plate over to you when you sit beside him. “Eggs?” He asks, his mouth full. You laugh and shove him with your elbow before grabbing his fork. 

“You’re disgusting.” You comment before shoving your own forkful of eggs into your mouth. You realize then that maybe sharing a plate of breakfast wasn’t a normal and just friends kind of thing to do but it’s what the two of you had done for so long, it happened so naturally just as holding hands after the meeting with the lawyers had been. You push the thoughts from your head though as Anne walks into the room, freshly showered and grinning at her son and you, happy to see that things were clearly getting better with the two of you.

“Morning everyone!” She greets, going about making herself a cup of coffee. Harry watched you through the rest of breakfast, the two of you passing the fork back and forth until the eggs were gone. He kept thinking about how nice all of this had been and how easily it could go back to this but that damn test was looming over everything. It could ruin all of this but then he kept thinking how he already had ruined all of this but these moments gave him hope that just maybe it wasn’t over, that you and him still had a chance as a couple. 

It had now been three days since he took the paternity test and still hadn’t gotten an answer but everyday he woke up with his hands shaking, a nervous sweat building on his skin as he thought about how today could be the day. This morning you had picked up on it as you awoke and knew instantly what he was thinking, so against your better judgement you pulled him close and allowed him to curl against you and cry. 

“I don’ know what I’m goin’ to do.” He cried into your neck, holding you tight against him. “I can’ be the father, I can’t.” 

“We’ll get through this, Harry,” You realized as you said it how that sounded and Harry clearly did too as he gave a small hiccup and lifted his head to frown down at you. “I mean… I.. we’ll get through finding out the results. I… we’ll figure out the rest when we get there.” You were so confused as to how you were feeling lately, about him, about the cheating, about the baby. 

You loved Harry, you loved him so much, and he had been showing you how much he loved you these last few days. He was being caring, affectionate as best he could without letting it go too far and make you uncomfortable, he was being his old self and you had missed that. You missed Harry, and you missed being in a relationship with him. Maybe forgiving him wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He had been your life for so long, you could perhaps try at least. 

It was later that afternoon, the two of you and Anne had been watching a movie when Harry’s phone rang. You looked over at him beside you and saw that his face had grown pale. You glance down at his phone and see it was his lawyer calling him. The results were in. 

“Answer it, Harry.” You hiss at him, elbowing him. He looks over at you, his eyes wide and a crease formed between his brows. “I can do it.” You reach for the phone but he seems to snap out of it and stands up, accepting the call. 

He walks across the room, his back to both of you as he talks low, his voice quiet. You and Anne look over at each other and she reaches over to take your hand as she picks up on the way your heart rate had increases and your breathing had become shallow as you focused on Harry, trying to hear what was happening but you couldn’t hear him. 

And then the phone fell from his hand as he ended the call and your heart sank. That gave you the answer of what the news he had just received was and you felt your heart shattering all over again. Harry was to be a father, you just knew it. 

“Harry?” Anne questions after a few moments of silence, Harry still with his back to the two of you. “What did he say?” But Harry still didn’t answer. 

“Harry? Talk to us, please.” You stand then, releasing Anne to walk towards him. “Please.” Maybe it was the fact that you had come closer, or maybe it was just the fact that you had a quiet plea to your voice and he sensed you were close to tears, but he finally turned. His face was dry but his eyes were wide and he had an emotion hidden in his eyes that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What did he say?” 

“It’s…” He takes a deep breath and then to your astonishment, he began to smile. “It’s not mine.” His breath was just a whisper but you heard it loud and clear. “They said there wasn’ a match at all and there’s no way it’s mine.” Your head was buzzing, unable to form a coherent thought as you look up into those green eyes. 

“Oh, Harry,” You both turn as Anne stands and rushes over to hug him tightly but you still just stood there. “I’ll… I’ll give you two some time to talk this through.” She kisses Harry’s cheek, then yours after giving you a quick hug, and leaves the room. Harry turns to you, silently questioning your thoughts. 

“It’s over, love, it’s all over. We don’ have to worry abou’ this anymore.” All he wanted to hear now after hearing those amazing words was to hear you say you still loved him and were willing to give him another chance. “Okay, look,” He steps forward and takes your hands in his, gripping at you tightly. You look up into his eyes, still wanting your thoughts to straighten themselves out but your head was still buzzing so instead you allowed him to talk. “I know I still messed up, I cheated, and tha’ will forever be my bigges’ regret bu’ if you le’ me, I will spend the rest of my life tryin’ to make up for this. I love you, I love you so much, Y/N. Please… give me jus’ one more chance, tha’s all ‘m askin for.” 

“Harry,” You whisper, releasing one of his hands to instead bring your hand up to rest on his slightly stubble covered cheek. He hadn’t shaved that morning but you liked the feel of it under your fingertips. “It’s going to take a lot for me to fully forgive you.” He sighs, closing his eyes as he willed the tears not to come. He knew this was it. He had made it to the other side of this whole pregnancy ordeal so now you were going to say since he didn’t need you anymore you were going to leave. “But I’m willing to try.” His eyes pop open and he sees you giving him a soft smile. 

“Really?” He whispers, unable to believe that you were willing to give him another chance, and give him another shot at being a better boyfriend this time. You still wanted him, you still wanted to be with him, and he was stunned that somehow, after all this shit you were willing to try again. He didn’t deserve you, he really didn’t. 

“I love you so much, Harry,” You say. “And even after all of this, through all of this, if I can still love you, then just maybe we really can make this work.” 

“Oh my god.” He whispers it like a prayer and then pulls you into his arms, his face burying in your neck as he holds you close. Your arms wrap tightly around his shoulders, both of you with grins you couldn’t control. “I love you, I love you so much.” He pulls back to say and then his lips were on yours. “I don’ deserve you-” 

“Just shut up and kiss me again, Harry. I’m done talking.” You cut him off, a grin on your face. His face broke out into his adorable boyish grin that you had missed so much. You tangle your fingers in his hair as his lips join with yours again. 

A Good Day

THIS IS MY FIRST WRITING THING I’VE EVER POSTED HERE. FEEDBACK WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.(Sorry for yelling at you, I’m just nervous) Thanks so much to the lovely @spectralstyles and @roseonhissleeve for being so supportive. You’re both amazing. x

It was a lazy Sunday morning, and you two were wrapped up in blankets and in each other’s arms. He was still fast asleep, but you had been up for a little while. You were facing him and being mindful not to put too much pressure on his body, not wanting to pull him out of dreamland. The curtains were trying their hardest to dim the light, but the sun shone far too bright. The light danced on his skin and gave him a glow, so beautiful you couldn’t even comprehend. His lips looked as luscious as always and they were slightly open, so he could inhale and exhale. You could see the slightly chapped and cracked parts of his lips because you were so close. His cheeks radiated a warm glow- the left one had pillow marks all over it because he was a heavy sleeper. He was laying on his left side and you had turned over to your right so you could witness the beautiful scenery. You couldn’t help put place two of your fingers on his lips, they looked so inviting. Even though a little cracked, they still felt as soft as always. He started to stir. You traced his bottom lip with your index finger. God, you’re beautiful. A few moments later, his eyes started to flutter open. “G’mornin’, love,” he said groggily, before shutting his eyes again, and sighing.

“Morning.” You smiled as he scrunched up his face and rubbed his eyes. He looked at you and pouted, “Were you staring at me?”

You rolled your eyes and giggled. Grinning at him you said, “No. Why would I do that?”

“You were! That’s creepy, babe.” He said as he smiled with a closed mouth. You usually always woke up after him, to the feeling of his lips pressing kisses all over your face. This was one of the rare mornings where you got to admire his beauty while he was asleep. And so much beauty there was to admire.

“Don’t inflate your ego, love.” You said to him before moving closer to connect his lips to yours. You lips moved together slowly and you felt the smile forming on his. “Stop smiling! I’m trying to kiss you!” You said as you pulled back slightly and chuckled. 

“M sorry, ‘m sorry,” He says dipping his head closer before attacking you with kisses. He kisses your forehead, above your eyebrows, nose, cheeks, mouth, and every inch he could get his lips on, while you shrieked and laughed.

“I loveee youuu.” He said with every kiss he left on your face.

You felt so at home when you were with him. These moments couldn’t ever compare to any others, they were your favorite. These were the ones you replayed in your head when your day wasn’t going as well as planned, and he wasn’t there to hold you. They were the ones that kept you going.

You smiled to yourself, it’s going to be a good day today.

Ugh you people(RANT)

DEAR ALL HARRIES THAT ARE LIKE THIS,


I was looking through tumblr and I saw all these post on how Jeff Azoff is a snake or worse than Simon blah blah blah. 

And here I am thinking when have we ever even HEARD Jeff talk? What Harrys documentary? That doesn’t count, and even if it does it doesn’t make him look like a bad person at all!

I hate that this fandom labels EVERYTHING as PR, and I hate how you people think you know everything about the people Harry hangs out with. I HATE that you people feel entitled to even THINK that your opinion is the way Harry should live his life!

I hate how you guys closely analyze things and I hate how YOU GUY HACK AND THEN SAY IT’S PR. EVERYTHING IS PR TO YOU PEOPLE!?!?!?!!?1

How many of you even know what PR freaking is? Honestly. Harry is photographed like 2 feet away from a girl and everyone is like “who is that” and other people respond with “calm down they’re just friends” when how do you know they’re just friends? maybe they’re more or less and there isn’t anything wrong with that because HARRY STYLES IS A HUMAN BEING, HES ALSO A 23 YEAR OLD MALE THAT PROBABLY HAS THE ERGES AND MINDSET OF  any ANOTHER 23 YEAR OLD. 

SO FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SAYING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HARRYS RELATIONSHIPS ARE FAKE. FUCK the people who are even saying THE CAROLINA GIRL WAS PR!!! SERIOUSLY YOURE THAT JEALOUS THAT, THAT CAROLINA GIRL CANT BE REAL????? IT’S ALL PR???? And larry is a whole other subject that is just so toxic at this point, But this is about HARRIES not Larries.

Fuck the people who assume shit about Jeff, Gleene, Lou, Anne, Gemma, Grimmy or whoever is around him. You don’t know these people so stay in your lane, Fuck off and get a freaking life.

I bet half the people who over analyze the life of this guy probably don’t even LOOK at the peoples lives around them!

I hate to get this fired up, and I don’t want to be seen as mean or rude…But seriously I’ve been seeing this ugly shit all over tumblr for too long and I’m at the last straw. This is part of the reason some people don’t come on tumblr anymore and leave the fandom! I’ve stayed away from tumblr for a while for this exact reason.

Please remember you don’t know harry and I know its sad but you might never know his, so just except the fact that he’s a human that is living a life that has nothing to do with yours. JUST SUPPORT HIM AND HIS MUSIC WITHOUT BEING TOXIC!

An exact representation of me listening to Harry’s album. Truly a bob

  • Louis: Look, I’m sorry that I called you codependent, okay? I think you have a great relationship, and it’s perfectly natural for two grown men to need each other this badly.
  • Harry: So you finally understand my friendship with Niall?
  • Louis: No. Not even a little bit. Infants aren't even this dependent on their mother when they breastfeed!!

Pedido: Faz Um Que (S/n) é Amante do Liam, Final feliz - rayanes

*Aqui nesse link http://hot-1d-imagine.tumblr.com/pedidos vocês podem ver quais e a ordem que em os imagines vão ser postados, se o seu não estiver na lista é porque infelizmente não chegou, vou estar sempre atualizando a lista*

***

Imagine do Liam

Eu conheci Liam Payne há exatamente dois anos e me tornei sua amante durante esse tempo, não me orgulho disso, afinal quem mais sofre nessa relação sou eu por saber que posso ter ele apenas algumas horas do dia enquanto a verdadeira mulher dele o tem sempre que quiser. Certa vez estávamos finalmente tendo uma ótima conversa e eu estava tendo o tempo que eu sempre quis ao lado dele, mas sua mulher ligou e Liam simplesmente me deixou de lado, eu sei que sou a outra e não devia me sentir assim, mas como eu posso evitar? Eu o amo muito.

Agora estou aqui deitada na minha cama lembrando como minha vida era sem o Liam, eu era feliz, animada e adorava sair sempre com todos e fazer amizades. Depois de Liam foi como se minha felicidade tivesse aumentado mais consequentemente a dor veio junto.

Eu não quero mais sofrer por isso, eu preciso dar um jeito na minha vida.

Pego meu celular e ligo para ele. Toca umas quatro vezes e então ele atende.

- (S/n) o que precisa? – Ele pergunta com a voz rouca.

- Preciso que venha na minha casa, precisamos conversar – Digo me sentando na cama.

- Agora estou ocupado… não posso falar – Ele diz quase apressado.

- Liam… – Sou interrompida por ele.

- (S/n) agora não – Ele diz e eu perco a paciência.

- LIAM PAYNE, VOCÊ IRÁ ME ESCUTAR – Grito e percebo que ele parou e respirou fundo.

- Diga rápido – Ele fala mais controlado.

- Está acabado, o que temos está acabado, não irei mais ser A Outra de sua vida porque EU não mereço as migalhas que você joga para mim, sempre me deixando de lado, fala sempre que irá se separar de sua mulher mas nunca dá o primeiro passo, eu não vou mais ser feita de idiota por você, Liam Payne, cansei, eu sou a pessoa que mais sofre nesse relacionamento, sempre que você sai pela porta da minha casa eu me afogo em lágrimas, você sempre me deixa, apenas me usa, eu não quero mais isso, eu poderia fazer você escolher entre eu ou a sua mulher, mas não irei fazer isso por que EU MEREÇO ALGO MELHOR DO QUE SUAS MIGALHAS, não apareça mais aqui – Falo e quando percebo eu já estava chorando, desligo na cara de Liam e tento me acalmar. 

Fiz a coisa certa.

Passo umas duas horas pensando no que fiz, sinto arrependimento, mas também sei que agora eu posso seguir em frente, esse termino foi necessário.

Se passam quatro meses desde que eu terminei oficialmente com Liam, nunca mais ouvir falar dele e eu estava tendo uma vida muito calma e satisfatória, tenho focado mais no trabalho e me envolvi com um cara, mas isso terminou uns dias atrás sem lágrimas e sem dor.

Estava fazendo meu jantar enquanto escutava minha playlist de músicas favoritas quando escuto a campainha tocar, saio da cozinha balançando os quadris no ritmo da música e abro a porta, eu paro no mesmo instante.

Liam Payne estava na minha porta.

- O que faz aqui? – Pergunto séria.

Ele puxa um papel do casaco dele e me mostra.

- Aqui está, eu sou oficialmente divorciado, eu escolhi você, depois do seu telefonema eu pensei que conseguiria ficar sem você, mas esses quatro meses foram o inferno na terra para mim, eu preciso de você, me desculpe por ser tão negligente com o nosso relacionamento, mas agora eu prometo que serei apenas seu, eu te amo – Liam diz se aproximando de mim.

- Pode parar – Falo colocando a mão no peito dele – Você acha que só porque fez tudo isso eu irei voltar correndo para o seus braços? Não, Liam, você me machucou muito, será complicado me fazer confiar em você novamente, eu continuo te amando, mas não tenho certeza se quero aquela vida novamente – Falo encarando ele.

- Eu adoraria tentar ter você de volta para mim – Ele diz sorrindo.

- Pois bem, pode tentar – Respondo.

- Posso jantar com você? – Ele pergunta.

- Já está colocando seu plano em ação? – Pergunto sorrindo fraco.

- É bom se acostumar, porque não irei desistir de você, (S/n) – Ele responde fazendo carinho no meu rosto.

Espero que tenham gostado, se sim, deixem uma ask me contando

*Os favoritos são importantes, então se gostou deixa seu fav lindo aí ;D