one thousand ships

King of Memes

Or, how Tony Found Out About Bucky’s Blog. 


Tony couldn’t seep. Sometimes he managed a few hours if he was tired enough, so usually he went to the gym and worked out until he was exhausted. Tonight, though, he found the gym already occupied: Barnes, with his hair tied up, working steadily at the heavy bag. Normally Tony would make an awkward comment and leave him to it, but instead he just heads for the opposite side of the gym. After setting up at one of the far treadmills, Tony worked his way to a easy run. Barnes was laying his fists rhythmically into the bag, and the quiet thumping was sort of strangely soothing. Between the running and the thumping, Tony slipped into a near-trancelike state.

 And then Barnes let out an ungodly howl, drew back his left fist, and slammed it straight through the heavy bag with a roar of, “DIE A THOUSAND BURNING DEATHS!”

Tony fell off the treadmill, scrambled to his feet, and booked it to the elevator.


kingofmemes posted:

holy shit you guys there was a spider on my punching bag !!! thanks to my many years of combat experience & martial arts training things are okay now

Posted at 4:47 AM, 37294 notes


Keep reading

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Daishou scribbles cause he was there for, like, half a panel and I got excite

nerds on the rooooof ♥‿♥

inspired by that scene from the fanfic The Leonardo Effect where Leo shows Ezio a telescope. and everybody should read that amazing fic tbh, it’s so well-written and beautiful and gave me many feels

“You seem very put together and secure in one self so I’m going to ask you this, and I would prefer it wasn’t publicly posted. Even if you don’t respond, that’s okay, but at this point I feel like I would appreciate a wiser person’s perspective. My boyfriend and I broke up, which may sound petty, but the shitty way I feel is not. It was because he was too overwhelmed to put effort into it. What would you suggest is the best way to move on from said breakup? HOW DO YOU PURGE YOURSELF OF EMOTION”

I asked this reader for permission to pull her question out of my askbox and answer it publicly because it seemed like it might be useful to more than one person considering becoming an emotional robot.

Dear Unnamed Reader,

First: you’re not going to like my advice.

Second: you don’t have to take it. I’m really only adequately equipped to give advice on how to be more like me, and trust me, sources are widely divided on whether this is a good thing. 

Third: I don’t think your turmoil is petty. One thousand ships have been launched in the name of a bad break-up.

Fourth: You ask me how to purge yourself of emotion. I reckon this must mean I don’t look like a hot mess on the internet, which is good to know. But I assure you that when something pings my emotional radar, I feel all feelings at level 11. Example? This morning, I gave Lover a ride to an errand. We took my old Camaro. On the interstate ramp, I put the car through its paces and experienced the burst of joy that comes in third gear at 4400 rpm. Once the car had settled, I realized Lover was staring at me. “God,” he said, “can you be any more happy?” No. No, in fact, I couldn’t. Emotions are binary in Maggie Stiefvater. You should have seen me when I first heard Two Door Cinema Club’s “Sun.” I almost died from happiness. 

But that also means my negative emotions are dialed to 11. I don’t often get upset — I’ve just become so unreasonably plucky that I assume all woes are transient, so whatevs. Because of my outsized belief in my ability to problem-solve, I really only get upset when I feel powerless. 2015 turned out to be the year of powerlessness: terrible things happening to friends, to my family, in the world. I finally broke last weekend over a comparatively tiny thing —a news article printed stuff about me that was so hilariously not true that I thought no one would believe it, particularly as the truth was still perfectly findable. But they did. And I couldn’t do a thing about it without stirring things up more and getting yet more messages telling me how glad they were to see me shot down from my Raven Cycle induced high blah blah etc. A minuscule thing — but yet more powerlessness after a year of epic powerlessness. I proceeded to launch 1,000 emotional ships. Work ground to a halt. I listened to Kygo’s remix of Matt Corby’s “Brother” 62 times in a row without pause. I sat under my office desk, only emerging to give in to to my OCD, which demanded, among other things, 17 clothing changes in 8 hours because SEAMS GOD THE SEAMS WHY. I blew a deadline. I flew to Colorado. I exceeded the speed limit in a rental Nissan that was not meant to exceed the speed limit. I blew another deadline. I paced until I couldn’t feel my knees. I thought about how I’d ruled out self-harm as an option a decade ago. I returned home. I sat on the shower floor for a very long time. I failed to sleep. I could have pretended that I wasn’t hurting, but — 

Fifth: you cannot cut out the sad emotions without cutting out the happy ones. 

Sixth: I am a disgustingly happy person. I fucking love life. The number of things in life that please me daily continues to astonish me, considering how terrible the world is. But I’m a happy person because I’m also sometimes a wretchedly sad person or terribly angry person. If you want to live life turned up all the way, you have to be open to the possibility of both joy or despair. 

Seventh: which brings me to the advice you’re not going to like: being miserable right now is not a bad thing. What you’re feeling is a valid response to a situation that you feel powerless in. It’s horrible. But you feeling genuine pain now means that you can — and will — feel genuine happiness at some point. Agony and joy come from the same place: being emotionally invested in your own life. 

Eighth: The way back to happiness is getting out of the cycle of powerlessness — basically, finding a place you can have agency again. Your misery is going to want you to find a way to be powerful in your current miserable situation. If you’re anything like me, you’ve rehearsed a few thousand options in your head. Calling him and winning him back. Making him feel as sad as you. Sending ugly greeting cards to his mother. Anything that would make you feel like you’re not completely helpless. But you need to find something else that you can be the boss of. Remind yourself of the things that make you feel like a badass. It doesn’t matter how silly or stupid they are. It can be as difficult as a project that you think will change the world, or as easy as playing a song that always gets you high. Do that.

Ninth: Do not listen to Kygo’s remix of “Brother.” It will not cheer you up.

Tenth: There is no tenth, but I really wanted one. So eat more leafy green vegetables.

urs,

Stiefvater


ETA I CHANGED IT TO 2015 I DON’T KNOW WHY I KEEP CALLING THIS YEAR 2016

Icing (Nurseydex Drabble)

For prompt #31 from @checkplease100: icing.

A Dex-works-at-Bitty’s-bakery/cafe AU. I never really thought about the double meaning of icing in relation to OMGCP until writing this.


“He’s here again,” Bitty hisses.

Dex startles, nearly dropping a tray of donuts. “And he already broke a napkin dispenser.”

“Maybe he does that stuff to talk to you.”

“No way; he’s clumsy. If he wants to talk, he could just talk.”

“I don’t — oh! He’s coming over,” Bitty gasps, disappearing into the kitchen.

The guy — Derek, per his coffee orders — nods at the donuts. “So, uh… maple frosting.”

“Icing,” Dex corrects automatically.

“What’s the difference?”

“What?”

“I am clumsy. And mad awful at opening lines.” Derek grins, and Dex goes red. “But I do want to talk to you.”

anonymous asked:

"Fuck off." The woman on the opposite side of the aisle shoved off the arm of the man in the seat next to her. She threw an annoyed look at Shauna, mouthing "Can you believe this prick?" once he was back to preening himself. "Wanna switch after the next stop?" - one-thousand-ships

Shauna nodded emphatically and tried once again to shove her own seatmate towards the window. But the man, still asleep and snoring obnoxiously despite the push, gravitated back to her shoulder. And he was drooling, gross.

When the bus stopped and everyone filed off to stretch their legs and grab unfulfilling snacks, she stayed behind. She pulled her pack out of the overhead and swapped it with that belonging to the jackass across the aisle. Then she dropped herself into the seat as if she owned it, smiling with satisfaction.

@one-thousand-ships

Put an AU (letter and number) in my ask box along with a ship and I’ll write it

A. Established Relationship!AUs

  1. We decided it would be fun to go camping and now it’s raining and we can’t figure out how to set up the tent
  2. I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Good luck. xo’
  3. I beat you at Mario Kart and now I’ve been banished to the couch for the night

B. Single Parent!AUs

  1. You asked me to the store with you and your child, and now my distant relative we met thinks I’m married with a baby
  2. You’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “I’ll go” I feel like we might as well be married
  3. We’ve been on a few dates and my child just asked us when we are getting married

C. School!AUs

  1. We go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today
  2. Detention on a Saturday afternoon
  3. We met at a really strict summer camp and ended up breaking all the rules together one by one
  4. There’s one copy of the biology textbook in the library and you always have it checked out when I need it the most
  5. You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and I’m really just trying to study over here so I’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game
  6. We were partnered together for this project and we both forgot to do it, now we have to pull an all-nighter at my house

D. Random AUs

  1. You got ditched at a carnival and I work there so I’m giving you free rides on the ferris wheel until you lighten up
  2. We have to meet up at least once a week to trade mail because someone keeps messing up our addresses
  3. I’m a flower deliverer and you live on top of this big ass hill and I hate you and the person who keeps sending you flowers
  4. Our flight was delayed due to bad weather so now we’re having to stay overnight at the airport and somehow, we end up sleeping next to each other
  5. Hey new neighbor it appears that your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and they’re really jealous and I’m sorry but not really
  6. You can’t get tattooed drunk, come back in the morning and if you still want my name on your ass we’ll talk
  7. I got to comic con and you are dressed as the character that many people ship with the character I am dressed up as
  8. I was walking down the sidewalk and you fell out of a tree just as I walked by
  9. The bus broke down near your house, I know we’re not super close but I live three miles away and this storm is horrible, can I stay over?

you know that ship, that one ship, that if you even hear the name you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, this one ship brings you so much joy as well as pain and you god damn love it, yeah that ship

REASONS NOT TO SHIP NICO DI ANGELO WITH GIRLS

and I s2g if anyone fights me about this I will throw my fridge at you

• HE’S GAY

like, really gay.  full, raging homo.  why on earth would you ship him with a girl?

- “but it’s not confirmed!” /  “he could be bi!”

“What made you want to add a gay character into the Percy Jackson series? What inspired you to write the series?” was asked and answered on Rick’s Goodreads a while ago.  Note, “gay”, with no dispute in the answer.

“Nico had once read a story from Plato, who claimed that in the ancient times all humans had been a combination of male and female.  Each person had two heads, four arms, four legs.  Supposedly, these combo-humans had been so powerful they made the gods uneasy, so Zeus split them in half - man and woman.  Ever since, humans had felt incomplete.  They spent their lives searching for their other halves.  And where does that leave me? Nico wondered.  It wasn’t his favourite story.”  (Blood of Olympus, chapter 15)  Yes.  Very bi/pan/poly.  So much fyi i like vagina.  He’s entirely into girls.  What is a dick anyway?

• SO RESPECT THAT

It’s his sexuality. Idk about you, but I’m aro/ace, and people even jokingly shipping me with anyone else makes me, like, really uncomfortable.

- “but you ship straight characters in same-gender/polyamorous relationships!”

Since we’re talking about Nico here, we’ll leave other fandoms out of it.  Not a single character in any of Rick Riordan’s mythology series has a confirmed sexuality - except for Nico.  And if you’re going to assume characters’ heteroromance/sexuality from their lack of canon attraction to their gender, you and your straight-until-proven-otherwise mindset can just leave.

“I’m only shipping it.  What’s the harm?  I think they’re cute.”

Would you vote for Donald Trump in an election?  Y’know, it’s not the nicest thing to do, but, like, it doesn’t really matter.  It’s one vote.  But you wouldn’t, would you?  (if you would, please, please just leave right now) However insignificant it might be, it’s just wrong.  Also, you’re adding to all the other people that have voted for Donald Trump - quite possibly thinking the same thing.  So don’t vote for Donald Trump, and don’t ship Nico with Thalia or Annabeth or Reyna or the bloody genderbent Will that this demonic corner of the PJO Instagram fandom is a fan of.  (don’t even ask)

• HE’S REPRESENTATIVE OF THE ENTIRE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY

I’m sorry, but I can name exactly two book series aimed at middle-grade kids that have LGBTQIA+ characters; Pretty Little Liars and The Heroes of Olympus.  (we’re not counting Harry Potter here.  saying years later that Dumbledore was gay with only minor implications in canon isn’t representation imo, sorry Jo.)  Having representation in kids’ series is so important, and wiping out that representation by ignoring his sexuality or erasing it and headcanoning him as bi/pan/poly is pretty homophobic and disgusting.  We have representation.  Respect it.

• HE HAS NO CHEMISTRY WITH ANY GIRL IN THE SERIES, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING

Reyna sees him as a brother??  He barely knows Thalia or Annabeth??  And as for “”Willow”” (genderbent Will.  It’s hellish, I promise), that’s straight down homophobia if you keep Nico as a boy.

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- Inlateautumn's 30 days of Katekyo Hitman Reborn challenge: 
Day twelve - Favorite ship

I hesitated with ColoLal but I couldn’t leave this ship alone. The weird thing about GokuHaru is that they both dislike each other while they are both so similar.  Their loyalty towards Tsuna, the passion they have for the things they like and their temper are equal.

GokuHaru is the type of romance where they both would walk away from each other, but look back at the exact same time.Their chemistry is the reason why they’re my favorite KHR shipping.