one thousand cries has the night

I’ve been trying to find the right words since last night, but I can really only speak in echoes of what has already been said, over and over:

I am afraid.

I sobbed last night. I woke up my mother because panic and fear were strangling me. I’m not “bummed” that my candidate didn’t win. I’m not a “sore loser” – I am legitimately, honestly terrified, and I cried in the dark for hours while my mind projected a thousand gruesome futures on the back of my eyelids, every one of them more terrible than the one before, and all of them with Trump’s face at the forefront.

This is a man who erected his campaign on fear mongering. Racism. Sexism. Xenophobia. Homophobia. Transphobia. Violent, disrespectful, offensive rhetoric. This is a man who mocked a disabled reporter. This is a man who disgraced POWs. This is a man who believes in criminally punishing people who get abortions. This is a man who not only advocates sexual assault, but is a sexual predator himself. This is a man who is on trial for raping a child.

He has no political experience. No business skill. No heart or compassion. And not only did he set his sights on the White House, but the American people paved the way for him. They heard his ugly, terrible words, and in him saw a reflection of their most awful selves, and were validated in every backwards thought they’ve ever had.

Mike Pence, our new Vice President, would rather jail me than let me get married. He’d rather electrocute me – literally torture me – than allow me to love who I love. And he sits right at Donald Trump’s heel.

People in my family voted for this. People who claim to love and support me cast their vote for a candidate who would take away the few rights I have if he could.

Shame on you. Shame on all of you.

I am deeply sickened. Disturbed. Devastated. But most of all, I am afraid. I am afraid for my queer and trans siblings. I am afraid for my friends of color. My Muslim friends. My disabled friends.

My life, our lives, are in danger.

And you, Trump voters, are responsible. I hope you’re happy.

One day, I will get married to the love of my life. It will be a queer wedding, and it will be a political statement, and an expression of our love and commitment to one another at the same time. Because our existence as queer people is radical in and of itself.

And if you voted for Trump, then I don’t want you there. Because you’ve clearly shown that you don’t support my freedom, my happiness, or my future.

Frankly, you can all go fuck yourselves.

4

Taylor, thank you for last night and thank you for being my everything. It has been two years since the Red tour and almost four years since the Speak Now tour, and so much has changed since then but one thing that’s stayed the same is I’ve always had you and your music with me along the way, through the good and bad. Last night was easily one of the best nights of my life; I danced like no one was watching, cried during your clean speech and had an absolutely incredible time with the 76 thousand other people in the stadium who were there for the same reason as myself (to see your beautiful and talented face). I have already made some incredible memories on the 1989 tour in just one night and I can’t wait to experience it again in Brisbane and Adelaide. 💙