My hands are covered in scars, and they smell like dust. The scars are from the things I love; cat claws and plant thorns and spattered cooking oil. A mosquito bite I got while camping and couldn’t stop scratching. A shiny patch on my palm from where I fell off my bike and got road rash. A line across the knuckle of my right middle finger, where my mom’s puppy bit me during his rebellious teenage months. A yellowjacket sting on my wrist from the summer I spent researching bees at a nature preserve. Most of my scars are so faded, only I can tell where they are.
I came to Elsewhere University for a job. I’d burned out at my previous job at a vet’s office, too socially awkward and too trapped by my OCD to be consistently competent. Needing work and desperate to no longer live within my stepmom’s sphere of influence, I applied for the posting at EU as a research assistant for whoever needed one in the biology department. Now I spend my days on my laptop, compiling reference lists and background research for other people’s papers, or in the library, tracking down articles published in obscure journals that only have the abstracts available online. My not-quite-faculty status means I have my own office in the basement, in between the display of stuffed songbirds and the adolescent chimpanzee skeleton.
I’m good at my work, but it’s all dry, dead things. Theses written by students who have no further record in academia. References mentioned in one paper that don’t go anywhere because the original journal no longer exists. Even when I get to work with real things, it’s just drawing small animals’ skeletons for the student who swears he’s found new morphological evidence for how bats evolved powered flight. Everything’s dead, and dusty, and my hands smell like dust.
I’ve heard that you can trade things, and I think I know how. I can find my way into the depths of the library, where the floors don’t match up. More importantly, I can find my way back out, and I’ve learned how to follow the stacks to come out of the door near my office that leads to the greenhouse if I go through it in the other direction. There are always students working at the carrels along that route, but their eyes don’t close and their books aren’t real, and I know they can tell me where to go to make my deal. They know who I can give my scars to as payment for making sure my hands never smell like dust again.
When you realise you’re no longer an important part of someone’s life and you feel everything shatter.
And you want to claw into yourself and get to the root of the problem that is your fucking existence and know just what you did wrong and why you’re never good enough for anyone.
holds his child in his arms and thinks he will never create something so
amazing ever again.
his bright-eyed son reaches up, giggling, and grabs his finger, he finds he is
remarkably fine with the prospect.
his child in his arms that night as his exhausted mother fades in the adjacent
bed, Curufinwë silently swears that he will be a better father than Fëanáro ever
was. (It’s not that his father was cruel; it was just that from the very
beginning, Curufinwë was never a child in Fëanáro’s eyes; he was the progeny to
be molded, the son who wasn’t too much like his mother, like Maitimo, the son
who wasn’t too independent, like Makalaurë and Tyelkormo, the son who wasn’t
too volatile, like Carnistir.)
I don’t know if it’s just me, but this line surprised me so much but in the good way?
He isn’t worried about the possibility that people see him in a situation like this with an other man. He is just worried people think he doesn’t take the competition seriously.
For any other anime with fanservice it would have been some teasing like “they’re gonna think I’m gay / dating a man” or else.
So this is making me so much happy because it convinces me even more this ship is treated seriously, and not just like some queerbaiting since the question of gender hasn’t
even been mentioned once in this anime!!!
i really respect the star wars franchise for not compromising or stopping to take time to explain what the hell everything is or whats happening like outside of the intro scroll its just in the world 100% like bam! heres a planet with these things! u dont know what they are? well fuck it cuz theyre here! also! this guy! we’ll say his name one time and then thats it! he’ll just be here for the rest of the movie! here u go! some terms were throwing in that may be bullshit but this is star wars so screw it! bam! space! bam ! flying ships and shit! u dont get it? well sucks for u cuz were still moving along assholes! pew pew laser fighting montage with characters whose names we may not have brought up but ull grow to care for them anywayyyyy!
And you knoooooooo he was watching them all get all the weapons and getting all excited himself like “oooh I wonder what my bayard is gonna turn into! the black one must be a very special one! cuz i dun see it here.. Allura is probably saving the best for last!”
and hes standing there like “I’m so ready! give it to me! sooo ready! gimme!”
and Allura’s just
“Shiro, I’m afraid your bayard was lost with its paladin.”
and his face just goes:
and then he like smiles and all “I guess i’ll just have to make do..”
LIKE NOOOOOO GIVE SHIRO A DAMN BAYARD!! YOU KNOOOO HE WANTED HIS OWN BAYARD SO BAD AND YOU JUST WENT AND BROKE HIS HEART LIKE THAT!!! LIKE “YOU GET ONE, AND YOU GET ONE, AND EVERYONE GET ONE, BUT NONE FOR YOU SHIRO, SORRY!” ALLURA COULDNT LIKE TELL HIM BEFORE THAT HIS BAYARD WAS MISSING?? WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?? MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT IN SEASON 1 RIGHT HERE. SHIRO BETTER GET THAT BAYARD IN SEASON 2 I SWEAR. JUST LOOK AT THAT HEARTBROKEN FACE! HE WANTED ONE SO BAD!