one pearl button


I’ve dug out all my dolls as the one that sold last week was in the very bottom of suitcase at the bottom of a stack. That doll is now parcelled up and about to go to his forever home where, hopefully, he will be loved.

The last few weeks have been mentally tough, but I’m sitting on the bed looking at all these things that I made with my own hands. I made them, and yet there is a sort of surreal detachment to them because they are better than I remember. Better than I see myself most days. That I can create these dolls is a bit of magic as well as therapy in the making of them, and all the ones that have gone off into the world before them.

I suppose I best put them away again and go make myself a cup of coffee. But I’m trying to be more positive and get things done this afternoon. Coffee first though.

P.S. Scarlett wasn’t sure what to make of me setting them all up. She just side-eyed me something fierce then curled up tighter and went to sleep.

Blue Shirt [Ficlet Night]

docholligay said:
Haruka/Michiru “I’m flirting with you”

Blue Shirt

“Michiru, what are you doing?” Haruka’s sounded too loud in all the quiet, but the question tumbled out of her anyway.

“I’m flirting with you.” The laugh was evident in Michiru’s voice,even if the darkness hid most everything else. “And you’re not making it veryeasy, I have to say.”

“When have you ever liked things easy?”

“That depends on the kind of conversation we’ve had first.”

Haruka smiled and shook her head. Michiru wouldn’t be able to see it, but she’d probably know it was happening anyway. She was good at things like that. The smile faded from Haruka’s face. “Michiru, I—“

“I think I’d like you to wear the blue shirt tomorrow,” Michiru said. She slipped her hand into Haruka’s and squeezed. “The one with the pearl buttons. You know I love how it compliments your eyes.”

Haruka laced her fingers with Michiru’s, and her eyes took on a devilish glint in the faint light. “But tomorrow’s Wednesday. You know I always wear my favourite mustard suit on Wednesdays.”


Michiru’s tone had that warning edge, but it only made Haruka chuckle. She lifted Michiru’s hand and kissed the tips of her gloved fingers. “Blue shirt. Pearl buttons. Got it.”

They said nothing after, and the silence swallowed them whole. Haruka stayed perfectly still, listening only to the sounds of Michiru’s breathing. She made a secret wish that they could stay like that forever.

But she’d already had one wish granted, and one was apparently all she was ever due.


The edge was gone now, replaced with something else. The sound of it made her insides feel like liquid. Haruka shook her head, like a child resisting her bedtime.

“Haruka, you have to go now.”


“They need you.”

“YOU need me.”

Michiru laughed again, and it sounded broken. “Oh, Haruka, always. But there’s nothing else you can do for me, you know that.” She squeezed Haruka’s hand again, then released it. Haruka let her, and hated herself.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to lie down and stay there. She wanted to do anything but get to her feet. She found herself at the cave entrance anyway. The sounds of battle were clear now, and it didn’t sound good. Haruka balled her hands into fists and struggled to care.

Looking back, Michiru was still partially hidden in shadows. If Haruka didn’t stare too hard, Michiru looked like she was laying on red satin sheets, like that themed hotel Haruka had picked one time for a romantic getaway. While Michiru had been aghast at the garishness of it all, the weekend had been anything but unmemorable.

Michiru was unable to raise her head and her breathing was jagged and shallow. Still, she smiled with the same seeming effortlessness with which she did most everything. “Wear the blue shirt tomorrow,” she reminded in a harsh whisper.

“Blue shirt,” Haruka promised, feeling her nails tear through the glove and into her flesh as Michiru’s eyes slipped closed. “Blue shirt. Pearl buttons.”