Summary: Klaus and Caroline are declared team captains for a girls versus boys dodgeball game on the last day of senior year. (AU/AH)
It was too hot to be outside. Southern Virginia in mid-June was no friend to gym classes. Because of the outrageous heat—103 degrees Fahrenheit, to be exact—Mr. Tanner decided to keep them in. Caroline Forbes was glad for it. She despised the humid weather, mainly for its adverse effect on her sweat glands, but the way it frizzed her gorgeous blond locks didn’t help, either.
They were rounded up in the centre of the gym. Mr. Tanner stood in front of them, his favourite whistle hanging around his neck. He swerved his eyes and moved around, making sure to look each of the twenty students in the eye before he opened his mouth.
“Are you guys ready for this?”
Caroline nudged her best friend Bonnie and the two girls had to work hard to hold in their inappropriate giggles. If there was one thing Mr. Tanner hated more than when the Mystic Falls High Timberwolves lost their football games, it was when kids laughed out of turn.
Not that they were really kids. Each person in the room was of age. They were the seniors who had opted to keep up with gym due to their athletic tendencies. Mr. Tanner adored each of them, really, but he would still yell if someone laughed at an unsuitable time. Caroline remembered unceremoniously chuckling her first day as a freshman when Damon Salvatore—a repeat freshman forced to be in a gym class with his little brother—face planted after trying to dunk a basketball. Tanner shouted at her in front of everyone for her discrepancy, which only made Damon stare smugly at her the rest of the period.
She cried in the locker room for almost five minutes after gym finished and was late to her next class. Ever since she had learned to keep her mouth shut whenever something funny happened in Mr. Tanner’s gymnasium.
“Come on, people, are you ready for this?” Tanner repeated, and the crowd around him cheered as loud as they could. He smiled. “Perfect. Alright, the game is dodgeball. You know the rules. Girls versus boys, with Mikaelson and Forbes leading. Let’s see who can win this battle of the sexes. Break.” Tanner blew his whistle loudly and the group of seniors disbanded, the girls following Caroline to the basketball hoop nearest their locker room, the boys following Klaus Mikaelson to the hoop nearest theirs.
Predictions: Kat saw this movie when it came out. Alex, half-remembering maybe having read its summary at some point, predicted that Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis meet in a sex-addicts support group, hook up with each other, and then are afflicted with feelings.
Plot: Well, clearly Alex did read the summary for this movie, although she also obviously forgot some parts. Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis first meet in college because Alison Brie is stalking Adam Scott, her TA. Jason Sudeikis lives on Adam Scott’s floor and rescues Alison Brie. They lose their virginities to each other and then don’t see each other again for twelve years. THEN they run into each other at a sex-addicts support group. Jason Sudeikis is a cheater cheater pumpkin eater who can’t stop two-timing…three-timing…four-timing the ladies. Alison Brie is also cheating — but only with Adam Scott. Adam Scott with a tiny unbearable mustache. She and Jason Sudeikis reconnect and decide to become friends.
Jason Sudeikis helps Alison Brie kick her Adam-Scott habit because Adam Scott is now engaged (even though he keeps calling Alison Brie anyway), while Alison Brie…well, encourages Jason Sudeikis to try to connect with women outside of sex. Meanwhile, Alison Brie has also gotten into med school, and Jason Sudeikis is playing the long game in wooing his boss, Amanda Peet. But pretty much everyone in Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis’s lives — including the two of them — kind of thinks that they are together. But, no, they’re just friends.
Such good friends, you guys. They are just the most platonic of pals, with their snuggling and their pet names and Jason Sudeikis teaching Alison Brie how to touch herself. This is all stuff people do with their friends. Such good friends. May we all be blessed with such friendships. Friendships that we don’t want to ruin or complicate with our obvious non-friend feelings.
Things are going fine until Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie attend Jason Mantzoukas’s kid’s birthday party. While rolling on molly, Alison Brie manages to unwittingly attract a hot single dad. Much to Jason Sudeikis’s dismay, she goes out with him. Hot Single Dad takes Alison Brie to a fancy mixer, where she runs into — surprise! — Adam Scott and his shitty little mustache wife. Devastated, she tries to call Jason Sudeikis. However, he doesn’t pick up, because he has finally managed to con Amanda Peet into a date. At the end of the night, the two of them meet up again at Jason Sudeikis’s apartment, snuggle up in bed, and admit that they are in love with each other. “But what are two platonic in-love pals to do?” Alison Brie inquires. “Nothing,” Jason Sudeikis says, with his big emo eyes. “Absolutely nothing.” (We may be paraphrasing, but barely.)
With that, Alison Brie moves to Michigan to attend med school, and she and Jason Sudeikis say goodbye forever. Which is weird, because now we all have Facebook, so… But okay, sure. Two months go by. Jason Sudeikis is now like…boyfriend of the year to Amanda Peet?? Like, taking her kid to soccer and surprising her with a birthday trip to France???? But one day, while at brunch with her, he spies A Certain Mustache sitting across the way. How can one miss that mustache? Of course, Jason Sudeikis is filled with the urge to punch said mustache in the face. This effectively terminates both Mustache’s brunch and Jason Sudeikis’s relationship with Amanda Peet.
He calls Alison Brie from the police station, partly because no one else will bail him out and partly to yell that he loves her. She yells enthusiastically back. Shortly after, Jason Sudeikis is trying to settle an emotional distress lawsuit with Dr. Mustache (oh yeah, he’s a doctor), but Mustache won’t budge. Alison Brie goes to see Mustache to cut ties and blackmail him into letting Jason Sudeikis off the hook. It works. She and Jason Sudeikis walk off into the sunset to have a quickie before they get hitched.
Best Scene: Jason Mantzoukas’s kid’s birthday party. Alison Brie and Jason Sudeikis dance together while on molly, which is pretty delightful, and then are miserable coming off it, which is also delightful. Then she gets approached by Hot Single Dad, and Jason Sudeikis is real bad at hiding his jealousy. Love it.
Worst Scene: Alison Brie trying to break things off with Adam Scott at the beginning. Oh my god, the first sighting of the MUSTACHE. But also, he is such a pretentious douche. Why is Adam Scott always a douche in movies?? Though we shouldn’t complain. Without “adam scott romantic comedy douche,” we would not have this blog.
Best Line: “Yeah, it’s like Ted Bundy. You can’t get them into a van by just being a jerk. You’ve got to have a certain way about you.” — Jason Sudeikis, talking about Alison Brie being an “approachable psychotic.” There were a lot of very funny lines though. This one just particularly made us laugh.
Worst Line: “Because I’d rather fail with you than win with anyone else.” — Jason Sudeikis, who was pretty much always very amusing and witty…unless he was declaring his feelings, at which point he would immediately become disgusting. Several. Times.
Highlights of the Watching Experience: So many famous people in this movie! Early on, Alison Brie breaks up with Adam Brody in a restaurant, and he has a very funny flip-out. It’s a nice bit role. Also, her best friend before she falls in love with Jason Sudeikis is Natasha Lyonne, playing yet another lesbian. Does she ever play non-lesbians? Has she just been lesbian-typecast? Discuss.
How Many POC in the Film: …Where to begin. Um. So, we have discussed on this blog in the past the crucial and controversial question: are Greeks POC? (We think yes in old-timey Europe, but probably not in modern-day America.) Anyway, Jason Mantzoukas is Greek. Some people, however, seem to think that because he has curly hair and is the color of Scar from The Lion King that he is…black???? Clearly, the casting directors of this film thought so, because his kids are DEFINITELY THE KIDS ONE WOULD CAST if one parent was white and the other was black. Those are some freaking adorable, Afro-having, mixed-race kids. On the one hand, how…nice?? that they are…celebrating…interracial…families???? On the other hand, while we may not know if Greeks are POC, I think we can all agree that they’re not black.
Alternate Scenes: How about, instead of a live-action Lion King starring CGI-ed lions, we just cast humans, AKA Jason Mantzoukas in the role of Scar? (You can’t un-see it now, can you? You’re welcome.)
Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: …Worse? The movie is about two people who like each other but aren’t having sex, whereas the poster seems to be about two people who hate each other and aren’t having sex. The poster is the poster for a movie about Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie’s crumbling marriage. Maybe she just tried to drown him, so they’re talking about whether sleeping with other people would improve their relationship.
Score: 8.5 out of 10 platonic-pal smooches. It was so hard to score this one, you guys, because, on the one hand, it’s pretty recent, so who knows if it will stand the test of time…? But, on the other hand, is there anything we love more than best friends who are secretly in love???????? (This is a normal thing for two actual best friends to love. Not pathological at all. WHAT? SHUT UP. WE DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM. YOUR FACE HAS A PROBLEM.)
Ranking: 7, out of the 82 movies we’ve seen so far. Kat can’t remember why she originally told Alex this movie was only okay???? Maybe she loved it too much and couldn’t handle her feelings, much like Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie.
Okay, we have the good looking squad, but what about the mom squad??? I want to know do they have passive aggressive soccer mom moments. "Oh? Your team scored that many points at the game? MY team won nationals just last week."
The ever so elegant and sparkling squad…
The ever respectable and prim squad…
The angelic squad…
The SPORTS MOMMIES SQUAD: (Suga, Kiyoshi, Makoto, Jun, Makishima + every sports mom)
All the members of the MOMMIES SQUAD are literal angels and you can’t convince me otherwise.
The entire squad concept started out when Suga anonymously posted a confession of some sort in a sports forum and attracted the attention of the other sports moms who are basically undergoing the same mommy dilemma. After a brief exchange, they decided to start a group chat on LINE and were actually terribly surprised when they found out each other’s identities but eventually laughed it off - quite amused and somehow relieved that they’re not the only ones going through the typical predicament of a team mom.
The MOMMIES SQUAD is the epitome of good manners, right conduct and noble sportsmanship. They are the most polite squad the sports anime world has ever seen and not even the stupidest slip-up in a game could taint their unadulterated finesse and poise. Most of them being vice-captains of their respective teams, they try to maintain an air of composure and confidence in the hopes that it could somehow boost the morale of their teams. They rarely show weakness and unease even in the most difficult moments of a game. Jun used to fail miserably in this department but gradually learned to collect himself with the help of the squad.
Behind their angelic and saintly appearances tho, the MOMMIES SQUAD secretly has an other side to them that is completely unknown to the rest of the world. This is what they meant when they said that “Every loving mom has a dark side”. And this dark side is what makes them possibly one of the most scariest people to deal with- especially if they are about matters concerning their children. When their motherly instinct kicks in, they fly into a rage that not even the toughest persons could handle. As they say, “no one messes with my children and gets away unscathed”. They are basically the type you wouldn’t want to anger.
Unlike the dads who would be a bit shy when it comes to praising their children, the moms would openly, loudly and persistently brag about even the littlest accomplishments of their little ones. They are the type who wouldn’t hesitate to shout out praises even in public. Once in a while, they would have this little squad get-together where they would do nothing but flaunt the progress and development of their teams. And most often than not, this little get-together doesn’t really end peacefully.
Aside from bragging about their children, sometimes, it would also come to a point where they would argue about who the best sports daddy is.
The MOMMIES SQUAD are hardcore fans of parenting books and would often carry one in their school bags. They give the most attention to the shy little ones and would always think of innovative ways to toughen them up. They would also practice some short cheers which would come in handy in a game that needs a little esteem boost. Incidentally, they are planning to release a collaborative book entitled “Hush Smol Child, Mommy Loves You”.
A typical afternoon for the MOMMIES SQUAD would be elegantly sipping tea in a fancy veranda while they contemplate on their mommy duties or at times, they would be marathoning sappy romantic tragedy movies. They would also have some sort of a penalty game where they must not make mention of their children or their teams and anybody who is caught doing so should pay a fine or do a dare or something along those lines. The MOMMIES SQUAD cherish these peaceful afternoons and whoever dares to interrupt them while they have their squad me-time would literally go to hell.
The MOMMIES SQUAD keeps a scrap book of some sort where they chronicle everything that happens in their teams. They are keen in recording even the tiniest details and they even have these so-called little milestones for each team member where they write in astounding accuracy what each of their children went through before becoming the best versions of theirselves. The existence of this scrap book is only known to the MOMMIES SQUAD but they took it upon themselves to entrust it to the next team mom after they graduate.
When it comes to disciplining their children, the MOMMIES SQUAD lets the daddies do as they see fit. Rather than disciplining, they are more inclined to do the encouraging. However, should the need arise, they wouldn’t hesitate to give their two cents on how to straighten up their children.
Not so unexpectedly, the MOMMIES SQUAD have an almost photographic memory when it comes to everything that takes place in their teams. One would be surprised at how much they can actually recall the events which transpired a long time ago.
The Met Gala 2015 Fashion Analysis: Not Too Racist, Not Very Interesting, I Think I’ll Stop Doing This Soon
So, the theme of the Met Gala this year was “China: Through the Looking Glass.” I did some research to figure out if any of the attendees actually dressed in anything that wasn’t racist, and they didn’t, except for the Chinese ones.
Here’s what traditional Chinese gowns have looked like throughout the ages.
Just in case you were wondering. And now, I will begin my fashion analysis.
The point of Beyoncé’s dress, I believe, was that she wanted everyone to talk about what she was wearing rather than the fact that her sister beat her husband in an elevator at last year’s gala.
The only problem being that she looks like a circus performer.
I was very afraid of what Kimmy K was going to wear, because let’s be honest, most of the time she looks like Kanye dressed her with his eyes closed, just relying on intuition, because he knows fashion.
But this is why I love Kim Kardashian. When she does it right, she really does it right, and I thought she looked beautiful last night. And weirdly demure, in comparison to a lot of other people?
Kanye is making his “fashion” face.
Everyone says Kimmy K was copying Beyonce from a few years ago. Only Kimmy K looks like she’s wearing couture rather than something my sister sewed together while sewing a cigarette and talking to her cats in her apartment.
Her real inspiration, by the way, was Cher.
I thought Rihanna won last night.
I mean, look at this bitch, it was 80 degrees in New York yesterday and she wore a 40 foot long fur coat that made her look like a fantastic Manchurian boy king who got a sex change on a spaceship.
Gravity Falls - Fists For Nipples And Gentlemanly Geometry
So here’s the gender studies essay I promised to translate for you guys! This is only a half of it, there was a section on Ally McBeal as well but I figured that one’s probably not the subject of interest here. :D I left out the research references and cut corners for a bit here and there, but I hope you’ll get something out of this (it’s very entertaining for an academic essay). I’m quite proud of the Bill section if I may say so myself. :3 The translation might be a bit shaky from time to time since Finnish isn’t exactly the most easy-to-translate language in existence and I ain’t a pro in this, but let me know if it gets incomprehensible and I’ll try my best to fix it.
(oh and there’s a Billford section too! That part’s pretty much just shameless shipper-biased homolust indulgence, but I got an A for the essay so apparently it was completely feasible shipper bias. XD)
Gravity Falls is a cartoon series produced by Disney that follows the summerly adventures of 12-year-old twins, Dipper and Mabel Pines, in the small town of Gravity Falls infested with supernatural phenomena. The show is exceptional even in its own genre due to its brave and grownup themes, and even more precarious in the context of its production company: Disney, known for its strict conventionalism, expanded its repertoire with its first explicitly stated male couple when Gravity Falls’ police officers Blubs and Durland, after a series-long comedic tease of a soft romance, declared their love for one another in the emotional series finale. With this the show’s creator and writer Alex Hirsch, a prime example of the progressive young generation of the Western animation scene, realized his wish of an LGTBQ character in his show after what was no doubt a long tug-o-war with The Powers That Be.
With Gravity Falls I decided to focus on the portrayals of different masculinities, because the show’s means of critically observing the categories of boyhood and manliness are perhaps even more unprejudiced and diverse than its powerful depictions of women. I will also take a look at Bill Cipher, the show’s indisputably most bizarre character, as a representative of non-gendered masculinity of sorts.
Dipper Vs. Manliness And The Brief History of Man Aggro
In regard to how Gravity Falls explores and redefines masculinity, it’s necessary to give a special mention to episode six, Dipper Vs. Manliness, that lives up to its name (although with an ironic note) and focuses on depicting the young protagonist’s struggle against his wimpy image and quest for reaching true manliness. Dipper is a lanky nerd whose unmanliness is a constant item of sneer especially in relation to his twin sister Mabel, who in spite of her emphasized girliness often appears stronger than his brother. In this episode, Dipper’s unmasculinity is largely defined by traits regarded as feminine: his high-pitched voice (especially when screaming) and physical weakness. At the beginning of the episode he gets an embarrassingly low score in an old-fashioned strength testing arcade game. His great uncle Stan taunts mercilessly his lack of masculinity:
“Look, face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let’s not forget about last Tuesday’s… incident.”
Said “incident” is shown in a flashback where Stan walks in on Dipper falsetto singing a pop song called Disco Girl, a reference to Abba’s Dancing Queen, while holding a hair brush in front of a mirror. Dipper has enough of the public humiliation and escapes to the woods, where he meets a gigantic Manotaur - a creature parodying the Minotaur of Ancient Greek mythology - who’s half ox and half the embodiment of a manly man. After a moment of fatherly bonding, the Manotaur agrees to teach Dipper the secrets of manliness and rowdily takes him to the Man Cave, where his fellow kinsmen live lifting weights and playing table soccer. With the Manotaurs’ guidance, Dipper begins intense training and goes through a series of trials to prove his manliness. As his last task he has to behead the Multibear, a seven-headed bear and the archenemy of the Manotaurs.
Obedient to the parodic, slapstickish comedy genre of the show, the factors defining masculinity that are presented in the episode are exaggerated, partially archaic stereotypes: such elements are beef jerky, chest hair, muscles, a low-pitched voice, roaring, haphazard aggression and beating up objects (and sometimes fellow creatures), brash and even phallic tattoos, tribe aesthetics, totem animals such as lions and eagles, and a primitive connection to nature. One of the Manotaurs summarizes his manliness as follows:
“I have three Y-chromosomes, six Adam’s apples, pecs on my abs, and fists for nipples!”
An interesting exception to this continuous manly gruffing is created in a background scene where two Manotaurs slap each others’ backsides while bickering in an almost girlish manner (“Stop it!”, “You stop it!”). I interpret the scene as an effectively subdued representation of the fact that even the most overflowingly masculine roles are never absolute. Furthermore, the episode subtly brings up several other exceptional masculinities in the population of Gravity Falls: the pair of police officers mentioned earlier, Blubs and Durland, are running shirtless around a broken hydrant like rejoicing children, and Tyler Cutebiker, a small man whose name as well as appearance are a blend of feminine and masculine traits, does early Christmas shopping in the middle of the summer, following all the mannerisms of a windowshopping housewife.
In the culmination of the episode Dipper miraculously manages to defeat the Multibear, who, as his last wish, asks to be allowed to listen to his favorite song before facing death. The song turns out to be none other than Disco Girl, the same pop song Dipper had been mocked for singing. Flared up, Dipper marches back to the Manotaurs’ Man Cave and refuses to finish his manliness trial:
“You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks and being aggro all the time, but I’m starting to think that stuff’s malarkey. (…) So maybe I don’t have muscles or hair in certain places, and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes I leave it on, ‘cause dangit! Top forty hits are in the top forty for a reason, they’re catchy!”
To the Manotaur leader’s infuriated roar “Kill the Multibear or never be a man!” Dipper replies calmly: “Then I guess I’ll never be a man.” Feeling low, Dipper returns to his sister and great uncle and tells them of the day’s events (albeit slightly periphrased), to which Stan points out:
“You were your own man and you stood up for yourself. You did what was right even though no one agreed with you. Sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?”
There is an emansipatory effect in Stan’s statement, and as the series goes on, it becomes a part of Gravity Falls’ broader thematization of heroism and righteousness as non-gendered, generally humane virtues. This as well as the open mockery of gender expectations - a second season episode called The Last Mabelcorn does to femininity essentially the same as Dipper Vs. Manliness does to masculinity - show that in modern entertainment with children as the target audience, intentional distmantling of old roles and conventionalities is an ongoing process.
Bill Cipher And The Social Gender
Out of the show’s widely uncommon character gallery, Bill Cipher is one who unavoidably became a subject to further inspection. This all-knowing, ageless and chaotic dream demon is an exceptional character particularly due to his visual presentation being a one-eyed triangle dressed up in a bowtie and a tophat. The showcreator Alex Hirsch has stated the Eye of Providence, found in the U.S. dollar bill for one instance, to have been the main inspiration for Bill’s character in regard to his appearance as well as personality. At first seeming relatively harmless although delightfully insane, Bill harasses people in their minds and dreams, offering limitless knowledge in exchange for small favors; but along with the progression of season two he becomes the series’ dangerous main antagonist whose irresponsibility takes on even sociopathic streaks.
Due to his name and pronoun, Bill is primarily defined as masculine; aside from those two factors, there aren’t many clearly gendered traits in his character to be found. His high-pitched voice and intonation affected by the 1920’s New York slang are relatively androgynous, and the appearance that deviates from accustomary bodily representations can only offer his accessories for deeper examination: a bowtie, a tophat and a walking cane, which admittedly connect to a distinctly male tradition. In Bill’s case, however, the link can be seen as relatively weak, since the actual context to said elements is more likely to be the showman/gentlemanly con artist trope that effectively works as a definer of social power structures and relations. Their form or meaning would not have to change significantly if Bill’s character was primarily feminine.
There can also be found several features in the triangle demon’s characterization that can be classified as clearly feminine: several wrist movement mannerisms, a tendency to sit with his knees refinedly crossed as well as the movements of his eyelashes as a way of emphasizing the expressiveness of his eye appear distinctly feminine in relation to his triangular body itself having no gendered attributes. Worth mentioning are also two photos of Bill that appear in the opening sequence of the last three episodes: in one he has a girlishly sparkly-eyed, excited expression, and in the other he’s depicted lounging in front of a fireplace and looking at the camera in a feminine, classically seductive position.
Out of Bill’s relationships with the other characters, his shared history with Stanford “Ford” Pines deserves a deeper look. Ford is Dipper and Mabel’s great uncle and Stan’s twin brother who has been missing for 30 years and whose appearance during the later parts of the series affects the story’s nature greatly. Ford, set out to study the supernatural occurences of Gravity Falls, was once working with Bill in the past, thought of him as his friend and a “muse” and held a nearly religious reverence for the demon - until he discovered he’d been exploited as a pawn of Bill’s dangerous plans. During their reunion after 30 years have passed, Bill approaches and addresses his former working partner and present enemy in a chummy and familiar, even flirty manner. The effect is strenghtened by Alex Hirsch’s statement in an interview that Bill had “seduced” Ford during their first meeting. (Homo)romantic connotations are even clearer in the series’ last episodes, where after taking over Gravity Falls with his gang of nightmares, Bill offers Ford a position by his side instead of leaving him at the mercy of the apocalypse. When Ford refuses, Bill turns him into a golden statue and carries him around like a trophy while wreaking havoc around town. Later he releases Ford from his petrified state in a scene that can be interpreted as suggestive and takes place in a dimly lit penthouse suite, where Ford wakes up chained and collared to Bill playing a grand piano and serenading him with Vera Lynn’s classic love ballad We’ll Meet Again. Even though the declaration of love between Blubs and Durland is perhaps more explicit as an HLBTQ positive statement, the daring and exceptional portrayal of Bill and Ford’s relationship is an equally noteworthy subject to queer representative analysis.
What makes Bill’s non-gendered character interesting are his origins outside human society and the conventionalities of the collective-social reality: instead of an archtype that reflects everyday social realities, Bill Cipher can be seen as a personification of a mythical, supernatural intervention selling universal knowledge that can, for instance, be compared to the Genesis’ snake. In conformity with the conman methods of his character, his means of communication with people vary significantly depending on the ambitions and preferences of the other party, causing the attributes of gender to move from the characters into the nature of the situation itself. In regard to Bill’s showman characterization, it is also necessary to take the thematics of gendered speech into consideration, which leads us to reflect on how largely the masculine origins of the conman tradition are built into modern representations as well. His arrogant speech patterns as well as conceited, sneerful wordings in particular make one wonder: is the vocabulary of power in itself nuanced with masculinity? Connotations to the Illuminati conspiracy and discoursal power appear to contain references to the patriarchal hegemony, which Bill can be interpreted to partially represent.
The next month features more social interaction than Jane has had in the entire course of her life.
There are dates with Thor. Those can involve anything: dinner at a fancy restaurant, a walk through one of the numerous city gardens, a movie with his rambunctious and always energetic friends, a soccer — football — game from the best seats in the stadium. He’s got eclectic tastes, which he’s willing to tailor to her comfort, and doesn’t take Jane long to realize that Thor has money. Not just money, but money, the kind where a person doesn’t even look at the check before signing. When she asks he shrugs it away like it’s nothing, explaining that he comes from blue blood on his English mother’s side and business mogulity on his Norwegian father’s. To his credit, he doesn’t rub his wealth in her face, but it definitely contributes to that Master of the Universe tone he sometimes gets. The tone of someone who’s been raised with the world at his fingertips and never taught to appreciate it.
That can irritate her from time to time, as someone whose mounting student debts are forever a dark cloud in the back of her mind. But it doesn’t detract from the fact that Thor is unflinchingly honest, unfailingly loyal, and all around a genuinely good person.
Also he kisses like a god.
There is girl-time with Darcy, which Darcy insists upon due to them being roommates and because Americans in England needed to stick together. In spite of having so little in common — Jane’s devotion to scientific certainty sails right over Darcy’s head, while Darcy’s love for changeable international relations makes no sense to Jane — they manage to develop a pretty good, or at least workable, rapport. They eat ice cream; they get really into EastEnders; they discuss guys, which actually means Darcy pumps Jane for info about “the muscle-y dude” and overshares about her own regular conquests.
It is unquestionably the most objectively normal friendship of Jane’s life. And it fits really well with the days Jane needs to vent at someone before she explodes.