one of the many reasons why this movie is my little gem

Harry Styles - “Confessions” Part Four

Alright… there’s gonna be a part 5. But, let’s do this! Part four of the ‘Confessions’ series!! Hope you guys like this one as much as you’ve liked the others. Let me know! It’s a touch happier … or is iiiiit?

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven

Harry groaned as he awoke, the sunlight poured down on him and he felt a layer of sweat on his forehead from the light as well the body pressed into his. When he lifted his head, finding that it rested on the back of his couch instead of his pillow, he had a moment of confusion before he remembered. You being curled up in his arms, still fast asleep against his chest, also helped jog his memory. 

It took him a moment to realize what had woken him but he quickly realized it was his phone buzzing in his pocket. He knew there was no way to pull it out and answer it without waking you so he let it continue until finally it stopped. Harry sighed, taking in a deep breath as he rest his head on top of yours, his cheek resting against your soft and sweet smelling hair. 

He was just starting to drift off back into his nap when his phone began going off again. Apparently whoever was calling him really needed to have a chat. He opened his eyes and sighed, wondering how he could possibly do this. He didn’t want to wake you but it seemed whoever was ringing him wasn’t going to give up. He shifted a bit to the side until eventually he was able to slide out from under you, helping you lay back gently onto the couch, thankfully still fast asleep. 

He didn’t even care about the phone call in that moment as he stared down at your slumbering and peaceful face. All he had seen the last while was pain and heartache but now it was all gone, just for a little bit at least. He couldn’t help as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth, bringing a large and ringed hand up to brush a few hairs off of your face. The moment was then ruined by the phone once again going off. He knew he had no choice now but to take it.

When he left the living room, heading down the hall towards the kitchen, he pulled the phone out and felt his heart rate increase when he saw his mom’s name and face flashing across his screen. Why would she be calling him so many times? He hadn’t told her what was going on, he told his sister as he had gone to stay with her the night he had told you but she had sworn not to tell their mother. 

“Mum?” He questioned, answering the phone finally, as he opens the back door in the kitchen and steps out onto the back porch. “Is everythin’ alrigh’?” He questions as he leans against the railing of the deck, running his fingers over the hard wood. 

“You tell me, Harry.” Came her reply. No hello, no greeting, no asking how he was. Yeah, Harry knew in that moment that she had definitely found out. 

“Did Gem tell you, then?” He mutters, hoping it was from his sister and not that the media had gotten wind of the situation. Even with both parties involved having signed an NDA, which he hated having to see your face as you had to agree not to talk about how he knocked up a girl, these things could still get out and he dreaded the moment that they did. 

“She shouldn’ have had to, Harold, why haven’ you come to me abou’ all of this?” Harry sighed, hanging his head, unsure of how to answer. The truth was that he was afraid of his mothers disappointment. He felt he had made her so proud up until now and what a way to ruin that than with a situation like this. He had already broken the heart of one important girl in his life, he couldn’t handle doing it to another one just yet. “So it’s true then? You got a girl pregnant?” 

“Yes, mum.” Harry mutters, running a hand through his hair before his fingers begin to play nervously with his bottom lip. “Well, I go soon to have a paternity tes’ done, bu’ as of now we are almos’ certain tha’ I am the fathe’,” 

“And Y/N left you?” Harry hadn’t spoken to his sister since before he left for LA so of course she wouldn’t know that you had for some reason agreed to join him on this little adventure. “The one girl who could handle your lifestyle, put up with everything she’s had to, and you go and do this to her.” That was exactly what Harry hadn’t wanted said to him. He already knew all of this but to hear that disappointment, the disbelief, in his own mothers voice hurt almost as much as he imagined it would. 

“She’s here in Los Angeles with me.” His mother was silent on the other end. “We broke up, yes, bu’ she knew…” He sighs. “I don’ deserve her to, bu’ she came to help me through this.” He hears his mothers answering sigh as she took this information in. 

“Wha’ are you going to do, Harry?” Her voice was full of concern now. She had gotten out her reprimanding and now it was time to make sure her son was okay. No matter how upset with him she was, he was her son and she would support him through this. 

“I don’ know, mum.” Harry had done so well at keeping the tears at bay but in that moment he broke again. The tears fell a few at a time down his stubble covered cheeks, his green eyes shining as he hung his head, resting it on his arm that was supporting his weight on the rail of the deck. 

“Oh, Harry.” She sighed, picking up on the brokenness of her son on the other end of the phone. 

“I can’ do this,” He turns and takes a few steps over to a deck chair, falling into it as he wipes at his wet cheeks and stares off across his green lawn before he closes his eyes, resting his head against he back of the chair. “Wha’ do I do, mum?” His voice was so quiet as he begged him mother to help him through this even though he knew that she couldn’t. No one could. 

“We will take this one day at a time, love, okay?” She offers, her voice calm and reassuring. “I’ll fly out there as soon as I can.” 

“No, mum, you don’t have to do tha’.” Though as soon as she had offered, Harry knew he needed her to. He needed that motherly hug, that parental guidance as he began to navigate his own way into potential parenthood. 

“Too late, I’m lookin’ at flights now.” She argued and Harry knew it was a lost cause - not that he would fight hard for her not to come anyway. “You and Y/N need someone to help you through this.” 

“Thank you.” Harry didn’t even have to say it as more than a whisper but Anne picked up on his gratitude fully anyway. 

“How is she doing? Y/N?” As Harry thought back to you, fast asleep and peaceful inside, he had to bite at his lower lip to keep the tears from falling again but when he opened his mouth to speak nothing but a jumbled mess of words came out. 

“She’s.. I.. i-i mean..” And then a small, quiet sob fell from his mouth and Anne sighed. “She’s never goin’ to forgive me, mum. I’ve lost her.” He squeezes the bridge of his nose between his fingers as he looks down at his feet, more tears leaking down his damp cheeks. He didn’t even try to wipe them away now. It would be pointless as his eyes were burning with fresh tears, surely not stopping any time soon.

“Harry, love, true love always finds a way.” 

“Mum, this isn’t some romantic movie. This isn’t going to jus’ resolve itself and everyone is goin’ to be all happy in the end. I fucked up, cheated on the most importan’ person in my life, lied to her about i’ and only told her when I had to because I found ou’ I had gotten the girl I cheated with pregnant. Would you forgive Robin if he did tha’?” Anne was silent and Harry knew it was because she knew he was right. “No matter how much her and I love each other, this is i’. She won’ forgive me and I’m tryin’ to come to terms with tha’.” But with the tears still falling down his cheeks he knew he was no where near close, if he ever really would be. 

Just then, Harry turns as the back door opens and out you step. You had woken moments before to find Harry gone but heard his voice outside and came to see where he had gone off to. You had heard what he’d just said and he watches you as you walk across the deck and comes to take a seat beside him. 

“Your mum?” You ask, gesturing towards the phone. Harry gives a nod, simply watching you, trying to see if you were going to say anything more but you don’t so he looks away and sighs. 

“I should probably go, bu’ le’ me know when you’ll be here and I’ll le’ you know about the paternity test.” He says to his mother who takes a deep breath on the other end of the line, still full of concern for her son but now that she had heard your voice on the other line knew he would talk no more about the situation. 

“I will, Harry. I love you.” Harry couldn’t help but smile. Even so much as his mothers voice made him feel better, knowing that she still loved him after he fucked up like this helped a lot. He only wished he could hear those three words from the girl sitting beside him. 

“Love you too, mum.” 

“Give Y/N my love as well. Bye now, darling.” With that, his mother ends the call and Harry sighs as he puts the phone down on the seat behind him and looks over at you, finally wiping at his damp cheeks. 

“Mum sends her love.” He mutters. You can’t help but smile, biting at your lower lip. “She’s comin’ out here. Gemma told her abou’ all of this and she said she wan’s to help up through this.” 

“That is very sweet of her.” And not shocking at all. Anne had always been the best support system you and Harry had in your relationship. She would listen to you both, helped you through tough times and much to your benefit told Harry when he was being an idiot. “You hungry?” You eventually ask after it was silent between the two of you for a few moments. 

“Always.” He answers, looking over at you as you smile a bit. He returns it, one corner of his mouth upturned in a genuine grin. 

“Let’s go out to eat. Somewhere nice where we can just enjoy some good food, strong drinks and .. nice company.” You lean over, nudging him a bit with your shoulder. 

“Sounds much bette’ than sittin’ here all nigh’ bein’ sad.” Harry responds and you agreed, which is why you had suggested it. There was only so much more silence you could take before it drove you more insane than you already felt. 

“Hear anything about going to do the test?” You wonder later in the night after a nice meal at a restaurant the two of you had gone to many times on many dates in the past. It had exactly what you wanted, good food, good drinks and great privacy. 

“He sen’ me an email while we were eatin’.” Harry responds, shrugging a bit as he drives back towards the house with you in the passenger seat beside him. “It’s tomorrow mornin’.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You questioned but thinking about it, you knew why. The two of you had been having such a lovely evening. He didn’t want to ruin it by talking about anymore of this baby stuff. The two of you had shared jokes, laughs, and stories. Even 4 years together you could always find stories to tell one another and Harry was happy to see that they could still do that. Maybe there was hope after all. 

“Didn’ wanna bring it up.” He answered, focusing on the road before him. “You don’ have to go with me. It is gonna jus’ be quick, he said.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.” You would prefer not to, of course, but you had come to support Harry so you would go if he needed you to. 

“I’ll be alrigh’.” He smiles over at you and reaches over, resting his large hand on your leg for a second. When he goes to pull away, you grab for his fingers, tangling yours with his. You just needed to feel his skin on yours, those long fingers between yours, their warmth, the coolness of his rings. He looks over at you, a small crease between his brows but he gives you a smile, mimicking the one you were giving him. 

“What do you they even do for this test? I mean.. what kind of test is it?” You had been wondering that ever since the lawyer had brought it up in the meeting earlier this morning. How did they go about testing if Harry’s DNA matched this baby’s when it was still in that woman’s stomach? 

“He sent me a bi’ of information on it bu’ it seems like they jus’ take my blood and her’s. The baby’s DNA is in her blood now and so they can see test it if it matches mine.” He explains. “It’s all very scientific.” You give a small laugh but were stunned by this information. You had no idea paternity could be tested like that. It was a bit fascinating, actually. 

“So you don’t want me to come hold your hand while they stick you with a needle.” You jokingly ask, pinching the back of his hand a bit. He laughs and shakes his head. He then has to release your hand as he needs two hands to pull into the driveway, pulling into the garage. 

“I think I’ll manage just fine.” You give him a grin before sliding from the vehicle and the two of you head inside. “Oh, my mum jus’ sent me her fligh’ details.” He tells you as the two of you go to collapse on the couch and he pulls out his phone. “She ge’s here tomorrow nigh’.” 

“Oh, good. It will be nice to have her here.” You sigh then, pulling your legs up to your chest and bite at your lip. 

“You alrigh’?” Harry questions, tossing his phone down beside him and leans back against the couch, looking over at you. You look over at him, resting your cheek against your knees. 

“I just feel tired, no matter how much I sleep. I feel like I just got done running a marathon. I could sleep for like a year.” Just to add on to your words, a yawn manages to escape your lips. Harry gives a small laugh, taking in how adorable you were. He resisted the urge to wrap his arms around you and cuddle you. 

“You can go take another nap. Don’ le’ me stop you.” He gestures towards the hallway but you smile and shake your head, uncurling your legs and you let out a sigh. The room fell silent then, neither of you saying anything, just staring at the wall in front of you both. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you thought about how close he was to you, and for some reason in that moment you felt the urge to kiss him. You missed the feel of his lips on yours, the way his body surrounded you, the feel of his touch - gentle and warm. It had been so hard to be so close to him the last few days, no matter how mad at him, or how hurt and heartbroken you were, there had always been that draw towards the man beside you and it was back in full force in that moment. 

“Hey, Harry?” You end up saying, not looking over at him, continuing to keep your eyes fixed on the wall but you see out of the corner of your eye as he looks over at you. 

“Yes, love?” He questions, curious at what you were about to say. He was picking up slightly on your anxiousness and wondered what it all of a sudden could be about when things had been fine just a second beforehand. But you didn’t know what to say. You couldn’t get any words out though. So, you decide to shut off your brain from thinking logically, you instead just gave in to the feelings coursing through you and ignored the way your head was screaming at you. 

You instead listened to your heart in that moment, the part of your heart that adored the man beside you, that was completely in love with him and leaned over quickly, not giving yourself enough time to back out and pressed your lips to his. 

He gasps a bit against your lips but quickly kisses you back, his fingers coming up to tangle in your hair. You rest a hand on his cheek, the other on his chest as you lean into his chest. He turns towards you a bit more, bringing his other hand up to your waist, pulling you a bit closer. The feel of his lips on yours, the pressure they left on you, the buzzing in your chest, you felt alive for the first time in weeks and for once weren’t thinking about the entire situation. In that moment the baby didn’t matter, the cheating didn’t matter. You loved this man, you didn’t forgive him, but both of you were so emotionally unstable right now, you needed this. 

You soon pull away from him, both of you breathing deeply. Harry was feeling this pang in his chest, butterflies in his stomach, even. He was feeling the best he had in so long, he missed your touch, your kiss, so badly and here they were again, back on his. He didn’t know what that meant but as he pulled you back in for another kiss, he just didn’t care. This could be your last kiss ever and he would be okay with how perfect it was. Nothing ever gave him that happiness, that soaring feeling, that sense of completeness like your kiss. 

“I love you.” You pull back and whisper, looking into those green eyes of his that you loved so much. You just had to say it, even if it was just for one last time. 

“I love you, too, sweetheart.” Harry gave you a small smile. He knew this most likely didn’t mean the two of you were okay again, he knew you were far from that, but he wasn’t going to complain about your sudden affection towards him. He would take this over crying and arguing any day. You give him one last smile before pulling back completely. 

“I’m going to go take a bath and then probably get in bed, maybe read a little and call it an early night.” You tell him, pushing your fingers through your hair. 

“Want some company?” Harry offers, completely joking though would of course do it if you were up for it but you laugh and smack playfully at his chest. “Goodnight, love.” He reaches over, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. 

“Good luck tomorrow morning, don’t let them hurt you too much with that needle.” You say as you stand up, making your way across the room. 

“I’ll try.” You both exchange grins before you leave the room. That night, later, as you lay awake all you kept thinking about was the feel of his lips on yours once more. And for the first time in weeks, none of all this mess mattered and you finally were able to fall asleep with a smile on your face. 

Some of the worst questions in MBTI on-line tests


It’s been discussed a lot that MBTI tests on the internet are often unreliable. This is usually because they are often too vague, over-generalizing, but mostly because they fail to understand functions. 

But then, let’s face it, some questions/statements are just straight up asinine and cause so much more damage in understanding/interpretating the MBTI than anything else.

Here’s a few gems I’ve collected. I had to paraphrase some of these, but I merely tweaked a word or two. Note that they are also in no particular order. 

I am almost never late to an appointment

- Oh, you wacky P types! Not a care in the world…you just won’t let people tell what to do, will ya? Doctor has super important test results? Who cares! He can wait. Today’s the custody hearing for your kids? Meh! Not gonna get up early just for that. People should just chill a little instead of following all these rules and procedures all the time.

I always keep a “to do” list with me

If we have an idiotic P type question, then we need an equally idiotic J type question. Does anyone ever keep a “to do” list on them anymore? At work maybe. Notes on your phone, calendar sure. But this statement makes it sound like J types need to control everything all the way down to reminders that today they need to vacuum. It’s nice to know that scientific tests still narrow down J to organized and P to laid back. 

I cry during sad scenes in movies

Sucks to be a feeler. You need to bring tissues with you at movies all the time. Truth is, you shouldn’t have cried when Jack sank to the bottom of the ocean, but instead you should have been mad at Rose. There was plenty of space on that plank! By the way I’m not mocking you if you actually do cry during movies, I’m just saying this statement grossly misunderstands Feeling functions. 

Sometimes I get so lost in my head that I lose track of what’s happening around me

Oh look! An actual (somewhat) anti-Intuitive question. Sure some intuitives will relate, but this question actually points much more to a general introvert trait. 

I get anxious in stressful situations

Nevermind that this is a redundant statement, I mean, can a situation technically be “stressful” if you’re not stressed? But I legit have no idea what it’s supposed to point to anyways. 

I consider myself a motivated person

Again, no clue what this was supposed to point to. I thought maybe Thinking types? (Te). Turns out it’s a “J” question. Another strike against you P types. Looks like you’re not only late all the time, but you’re also lazy. 

I prefer reading a book than going to social events

As an introvert who never reads books, I find this very unrelatable, yet this is clearly where they’re going with this statement. Also, I know tons of extroverts who go through 6 novels within months. Why is reading always the stereotypical go-to activity when people think of introversion?

I often have mood swings/I consider myself emotionally stable

I decided to slap these two together since they make the same point (harshly might I add). Boy, some of these questions really have it out for Feelers. Kudos to anyone who has the guts to admit to themselves that they are both moody and emotionally unstable. That being said, seek help and it has nothing to do types, like, at all. 

I love nature and animals

First of all, these are two different things for many people. Second, like many previous statements, what are they suppose to point to? Third, way to make anyone who says “no” to this feel like a sociopath. 

And of course….

I consider myself creative/I don’t let others influence my beliefs. 

I put those two together and a the end of this list because they are absolutely the WORST questions on these tests. Not start another S vs. N debate, but the creative thing is by far the biggest reason there are so many people mistyping themselves. How many people are willing to admit that they are not creative at all? And it doesn’t automatically create an S/N split anyways. 

The second one…..who on Earth will answer “no” to this?? It’s basically admitting that your beliefs, you know, a HUGE part of what makes you, YOU, are fickle and unstable. Why not just go with “I consider myself a good person” while we’re at it. Maybe it actually points to Ne, you know, the ability to challenge one’s own beliefs and match them up against other points of view, but how many people will see this question as such?


The Sorority

The Corner Witches were not the only magical practitioners on campus.  Located in a vine-covered building on the east side of campus, was one of the Greek Life organizations, ΤΜΠ.  One of the sororities.  Everyone knew, but didn’t talk, about the mysterious sorority with the lovely girls with silver hair who always looked like they had just gotten out of the pool and who threw parties that no one (or no one human) ever went to.  But the members of ΤΜΠ were… different. 

Founded in the early 1900s, as a women’s organization, ΤΜΠ expanded to include people of all genders in the late 1970s, making it the only Greek organization on campus that allowed people of any gender to join.  That being said, no one really knew how people were invited to ΤΜΠ, other than the fact that it happened at the end of your freshman year.  It was whispered, among the people who befriended the sisters (all members, regardless of gender identification or lack thereof, called themselves “sisters” to honor the history of the organization), that people received invitations if they were said to have… unique gifts.  English majors who could paint vivid stories with their words that seemed so real that you could picture what they were saying in your mind’s eye, like you were viewing a movie.  Musicians who could quiet the crows with a strum of their instruments or with a couple of hummed lyrics.  Artists whose art looked like it could almost leap off the page.  Sisters often graduated to be well-known artists, musicians, or writers; one of the lead dancers for the New York ballet is a proud ΤΜΠ alum.

The members where quite popular with the Gentry, because of these gifts.  While many got taken, almost as many came back, often carrying strange items or precious gems in exchange for their art of choice.  The House Mother, it is said, had been Taken eight times total: three times as a student, and five times once she became the official house supervisor after she graduated.  It was rumored that the reason why she kept getting Taken, and coming back, was because certain members of both Courts loved to watch her dance.  Numbers have power, and everyone wonders what will happen if she gets taken a ninth time.

For the most part, the sisters of ΤΜΠ were as normal as any student could be, at Elsewhere University.  They went to their classes, observed the rules and traditions, and interacted with the other students on campus.  But on certain nights, on full or new moons, you could see the sisters lining boundaries of the house with thick lines of salt and placing iron charms, sung into shape by a metallurgy major who graduated back in the 1950s, on the windows and doors.  What happens on those nights no one outside the sorority knows.  Likewise, no one knows how the salt lines and iron charms are taken down almost instantaneously as the sun would rise after those nights.  No one bothers to ask.  It’s safer that way.

As “normal” as the ΤΜΠ sisters could be, it was universally recognized, but not openly acknowledged, that if you needed help with something, ranging from inspiration for a project to needing a tea blend to help with your headaches to crafting a new iron/silver charm because for some reason yours keeps disappearing, you ask a ΤΜΠ.  It would involve a trade of some sort; trades and deals, after all, are the lifeblood of EU.  The sisters tended to be very fair in making deals though, unlike their more preternatural counterparts.  Sometimes they would do something for free, just because.  (Laila, one of the seniors, was particularly fond of just handing out pieces of salt-infused iron jewelry to people, because “I have a feeling that you’ll need it.” – Getting one of their pieces was generally considered to be a mixed omen, because if you were getting something, you probably were going to be in trouble, but people who carried Laila’s jewelry tended to end up alright.  No one wanted to know how or why Laila knew that someone would need their jewelry.  They just did.)  Most times, they would request something simple in return, like a tutoring lesson in math, or even just a cup or two of tea.  For more serious things, they would ask for more important things—your favorite flower, or a necklace that had meaning to you.  Simply because they were human and less whimsical in nature than the Fair Ones didn’t mean that they couldn’t exact a heavy toll for more intense favors – ten years ago, a student known by the moniker “Robin” had to pay for a serious favor by giving up her voice for a month; from what is understood by people who keep in touch with alumni, Robin will still occasionally fall silent on full moons, and not be able to speak until sunrise.  

Ultimately, having a friend who was a ΤΜΠ sister was a pretty fortuitous.  The sisters tended to be ridiculously lucky, perhaps ironically, considering their motto, “Τύχῃ μὴ πίστευε” (“Do not trust fortune”).  Moreover, people who befriended ΤΜΠ sisters tended to not only get random gifts but were almost guaranteed to come back from the Other Reals if taken, usually because the sister would disappear for a day or two after they did, and then come back with the friend in tow.

If push came to shove and you were in a jam, you really wanted a ΤΜΠ sister in your corner.


Wow, this is the first bit of creative writing that I’ve done in months.  It probably shows, tbh.  Most of my writing these days is legal or academic, which doesn’t leave a lot of room for fun and creativity.  

I got inspiration for ΤΜΠ from my own sorority, as we were a co-ed, non-traditional sorority, where all of our members, regardless of gender, would call ourselves “sister.”  Obviously, there’s a supernatural element to this that my sorority doesn’t have (or does it…?), but this was a fun little tribute to the fun memories that I have with my sisters.


Epic Movie (Re)Watch #109 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. No.

Format: DVD

1) The early 2000s have a lot of truly underrated gems, especially from Disney. Along with The Emperor’s New Groove and Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire is probably one of the most underrated and overlooked films in their catalogue. Which is a true shame because it is such a great film.

2) This film opens with the city of Atlantis being washed away by a great flood, but if there was originally an alternate opening featuring vikings with the Shepard’s Journal in search of the fabled city. I prefer the opening we have, but you can watch the viking prologue if you want.

3) Michael J. Fox as Milo Thatch.

Originally posted by snowflake-owl

I saw this movie when it first came out in June of 2001. I fell in love with Back to the Future in February of 2009. So when I realized Marty McFly and Milo Thatch were one in the same my love for this film only grew. Fox brings a sincere enthusiasm to Milo, and like with the best voice acting you forget that you’re listening to Michael J. Fox. He BECOMES Milo, the guy who has to deal with everyone doubting him while still clinging true to his beliefs. It is a great character supported by an incredible actor.

4) There is a nice juxtaposition between how Helga sets up Mr. Whitmore (“Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite. Much.”) and the quirky little nut Mr. Whitmore actually is.

An enigmatic man who I would’ve liked to know more of, Whitmore is a little eccentric but comes off as a good hearted man. His relationship with Milo’s grandfather seems to be the defining thing in his life, so much so that he’s funding a multi-million (1914 million) dollar expedition to find a myth. John Mahoney (best known for the role of Frasier’s father on Frasier) gives a strong performance in his little bit of time, but this film is filled with strong voice over performances so it is no wonder his stacks up.

5) This line was improvised by Michael J. Fox:

Milo [after he throws up from being seasick]: “Carrots. Why is it always carrots? I didn’t even have carrots!”

6) Animated films tend to be short and with the added benefit of exaggeration need to establish personalities of supporting characters IMMEDIATELY. This is very true of the expedition’s crew. This starts with Jim Varney as Cookie, a hillbilly type who fits Varney’s comedic styling very nicely. Varney passed away before filming was complete, leaving some lines to have a stand in, but his life is in Cookie all the way.

Helga: “The men need their four basic food groups.”

Cookie [holding up three fingers]: “I’ve got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whiskey, & lard!”

7) Oh my god Vinny.

Every line out of Vinny’s mouth is glorious! Voiced by Don Novello, Novello makes Vinny his own in the same way that James Woods made Hades his own in Hercules. I saw a behind the scenes featurette for this film way back when that said Novello improv-d a lot of lines and most of them are included in the film. Vinny is hysterical, with his penchant for blowing things up and dead pan delivery. The crew is made up of a bunch of great individuals & Vinny is no exception.

8) Rourke…

Rourke is the captain of the expedition and - after the film’s twist - turns out to be the main villain. Voiced by James Garner, Rourke is honestly at his most interesting towards the end when he can be a ruthless bad guy. Up until that point he’s a pretty good commander and seems like an honest man. But looks can be deceiving.

9) There are so many jokes you don’t get in these movies when you were a kid (just wait until I do Shrek). For example:

Mole [about his dirt from different countries]: “England must never merge with France!”

10) Although Vinny is awesome, there’s a good chance that Sweets is my favorite crew member in the film.

He’s fast talking, genuinely kind, a good doctor, and when the crew needs to start acting like bad guys he’s the first to abandon Rourke and his selfish quest (although much more quietly than the other characters). Phil Morris - like the other actors - breathes such life and personality into Sweets that you don’t even question that he’s real.

11) I love the wit in this film.

Sweets [presenting Milo with the vials presented above]: “Here, I’m going to need you to fill these up.”

Milo: “WITH WHAT!?”

12) And to round out the crew, Audrey.

Like most of the crew, we learn more about Audrey in a pivotal scene later. But when we first meet her she’s already impressive. Just a teenager, Audrey is the head engineer on the expedition and tough as nails. She knows her shit and is tough as hell, but that’s not why she’s awesome. Well, that’s not the ONLY reason she’s awesome. But more on that later.

13) The Leviathan.

Mike Mignola, the creator and artist behind the character Hellboy, is credited as a production designer on this film. Nowhere is his influence more clearly scene than the leviathan, the mechanical sea beast meant to defend the entrance to Atlantis. It is an impressive feat of imagination and animation, a creature which is truly menacing in both size and design. The leviathan and its attack on the submarine crew could quite well be the best part of this film.

13.5) Why does a science expedition have battle stations? I mean, now we know because they’re mercenaries. But did this not raise any red flags?

14) God bless Packard. I’m not even sure what her role on the ship is besides announcer, but god bless her.

Originally posted by miusix

15) The pivotal scene for so many of these characters in this film is when Milo eats with them for the first time and we get their backstory.

  • Sweets’ of mixed descent, part black part Native American (I believe he said he’s Navajo). He studied to be a doctor when he got enlisted in the army.
  • Audrey’s father wanted sons, one to run his auto shop and another to become world boxing champion. Her sister has a shot at the title.
  • Vinny’s family owned a flower shop and when the business next door blew up, “It was like a sign from god! I found myself in that ‘boom.’”

And then of course we get this line.

Milo: “What’s Mole’s story?”

Sweets: “Trust me on this one. You don’t wanna know. Audrey, don’t tell him. You shouldn’t have told me, but you did. And now I’m tellin’ you, you don’t wanna know.”

You see THIS is what fleshes out these characters. Its this one scene which makes them more than jokes or stereotypes or archetypes, but real people. We get their conflict, their history. We learn of Audrey’s family, of Vinny’s boredom with flowers, or Sweets’ history in the army. THIS is what makes the film standout in the way it does.

16) Kida.

Originally posted by heymadmoizelle

It’s too bad Atlantis didn’t do too well at the box-office, otherwise Kida might take her place among the official Disney Princess line. Along the same lines as Mulan, Kida is a warrior princess. A woman who can kick ass but also loves her father and her people very dearly. Cree Summer is an accomplished actress in the voice over world, with Kida possibly being one of her finest roles. Kida is tough but never mean, curious but never overbearing, capable but able to form a meaningful relationship with Milo (while also not being too over the top lovey dovey), and just an all around great character.

17) Hey look, its Spock!

Leonard Nimoy has had a number of voice over roles, particularly in the 21st century. Its nice hearing him in this, even if we don’t get to spend too much time with the king.

18) So you know the trope of a 100+ year old vampire forming a slightly weird relationship with a much younger woman?

Originally posted by moan-s


Originally posted by justmeandmythoughts32-blog

Originally posted by my-harry-potter-generation

19) The betrayal of the crew wouldn’t have hurt nearly as much as it does if it weren’t for the scene where we get all their backstories.

Notably we don’t get the backstories of the two most evil characters in the film: Rourke & Helga. This is when Rourke becomes REALLY interesting and when James Garner has a lot of fun as the bad guy. He’s a brute! A bully! He’s ruthless, pretty much kills the king, beats on Milo when he’s down, all while cracking a jock and flexing his impressive muscles for a 60+ year old man. Rourke doesn’t get enough credit as a Disney bad guy in my opinion.

20) I love this.

Milo [after Rourke asks him to translate better]: “I know, why don’t you translate AND I’LL WAVE THE GUN AROUND!”

I live for heroes telling bad guys who are “in control” to f*** off.

21) The entire crystal chamber scene is just absolutely gorgeous. The early 2000s were noteworthy for frequent mingling of hand drawn and computer animation, with Atlantis being one of the finest examples of it.

Also this shot is gorgeous:

Originally posted by curvecreation

22) I never got this line.

Rourke (after his crew decide to stick with Milo & the Atlanteans): “PT Barnum was right.”

Only now do I know one of Barnum’s famous quotes is, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” And I had to google it.

22.5) Fun fact: Joss Whedon worked on the story for this film! For you Whedonites out there, doesn’t “PT Barnum was right.” sound like a very Whedon-y line?

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

23) Okay, as a child and even now I was OBSESSED with crystalized Rourke.

Like that image is just very memorable to me, especially after Rourke was supposedly killed by being encased in crystal. It’s too bad we only got a minute or so of it before the airship crashed, but damn that’s just the coolest thing to me. If there are any Kingdom Hearts fans reading this, imagine this: A Rourke boss fight, where after you beat him the first time you have to fight his crystal form and its an even tougher fight.

24) And of course Milo stays in Atlantis at the end, because it is what he and his grandfather sent their entire lives searching for. What would be the point of returning to the surface where either A) no one will believe him, or B) people will believe him and try to take advantage of this culture they found? It’s a great ending which makes a lot of sense.

I love Atlantis. It’s one of my favorite Disney films, but it maybe wouldn’t be if it weren’t so underrated. If you’re a fan of action, adventure, Disney, animation, or heck, even Stargate, I think you’ll enjoy this film.

anonymous asked:

«She fancied Gehrman, unaware of his curious "mania", but was left heartbroken when Gehrman couldn't, or wouldn't, reveal his feeling towards her.» WTF, fextralife?!

Thank you fextralife! ~♡
No okay let’s be serious for a second and put aside my fangirl heart that craves for the damn romance and let’s look at the facts, shall we?

Let’s begin with the Hair Ornament and how the Doll reacts to it.

The item is described as “ordinary” and does look as such. This is not something fit for a woman of noble lineage like Maria is, is the sort of gift that a middle-class Yharnamite would give his fiancee. In fact, I would say that the Red Jewelled Brooch that Gascoigne gave to his wife looks way fancier and in line with what a Cainhurst noble would wear than the plain, ordinary hair ornament.

Giving little tokens of affection before the marriage was a no-no for Victorian lovebirds unless the couple openly expressed the intention to get married and both families agreed to the arrangement.

In Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, Marianne Dashwood’s spontaneous behaviour is considered unorthodox and her (only rumoured!) clandestine engagement with John Willoughby is heavily frowned upon. One of her biggest ‘sins’ was to have sent John a bunch of letters and locks of her hair that the young man respectfully gives back to her before marrying another woman.

So, if we take for granted that Yharnam’s courtship customs are similar to those of the 19th century’s I think it’s safe to assume that if an unmarried man gave something as cute and personal as a hairpin to an unmarried woman he was clearly saying “hey babe I like you. But I haven’t the slightest idea of what I’m doing and I should’ve finish that “how to pick up fair maidens” book before doing anything on my own” :P

Of course, we can’t take Victorian society and expect Yharnam’s to be exactly the same because of all the obvious differences such as the clearly more prominent role of women in society, (Amelia is the highest authority of the Church, many hunters are women, Viola, though traditionally married, takes instant action to help her husband etc) but I still think it to be a good lens through which seeing the game’s world and it surely gives some extra credit to Gehrman’s conscious decision to hide his feelings from Maria.

Now, on the subject of Plain Doll, if we gave her the Hairpin she says this:

What… what is this? I-I can’t remember, not a thing, only… I feel… A yearning… something I’ve never felt before… What’s happening to me? Ahh… Tell me hunter, could this be joy? Ahh…

And as she speaks, they even took the time to actually animate her so that she would wipe her tears and gave us the Tear Stone:

Now, the dialogue itself is enough for me to say that Maria had feelings for Gehrman because there’s _no way_ that mere admiration and/or respect for the guy would make her surrogate, who only shares a few, blurred memories with her, cry tears of joy. But hey, we could say that since Plain Doll was “made” to love her creator her perception could be warped by what Gehrman wants her to feel towards him. So, let’s read what the lore has to say about this ;) let’s turn the Tear Stone into a Blood Gem!

Created from a shining silver doll tear, this blood gem is a quiet but unfaltering friend that continually restores HP, the life essence of a hunter. Perhaps the doll’s creator had wished for just such a friend, albeit in vain

BOOM! “Albeit in vain”… and here it is why I think Gehrman doesn’t talk to/doesn’t care about and is openly dismissive of the Doll. She is not the woman he used to know but a pale imitation. She doesn’t have Maria’s memories, she is nothing like the hunter that fought by his side, the strong and kind woman he secretly fell in love with. Before Moon Presence brought the Doll to life, Gehrman poured love and care into her creation that most likely happened after Maria’s passing. All item descriptions related to the Doll include this bit:

“A deep love for the doll can be surmised by the fine craftsmanship of this article, and the care with which it was kept.“
It borderlines on mania, and exudes a slight warmth.”

Which once again, reinforce my idea that my boi Gehrman cared for Maria not _just_ because she was hot. He doesn’t dress her up in revealing clothes nor does he keep her hunter attire while retaining elements of it such as the brooch and her boots. Maria killed herself after renouncing her life as a hunter, her conscience forever stained by what she and her teacher had done to the inhabitants of Fishing Hamlet. Dressing the doll in her hunter set would have been an even greater insult to her memory. Gehrman’s decision to dress her up in the seemly clothes of a respectable woman of the time is actually pretty tasteful if you ask me. May look strange and “unnecessary cute” to us modern-day players but that’s how women used to dress. Take a look at this picture of Mia Wasikowska’s in this movie adaptation of Jane Eyre. The reason why I pick this movie is its director, Cary Fukunaga who also directed the first season of the award-winning HBO series True Detective. (a show inspired by R.W Chambers and Lovecraft’s nihilism & cosmic dread.) This too is a pretty dark and spooky rendition of Charlotte Brontë’s classic.

But no more talking about Gehrman, let’s get back to Maria:

Among the first hunters, all students of Gehrman, was the lady hunter Maria. This was her hunter’s [cap/garb/gloves/trousers], crafted in Cainhurst.
Maria is distantly related to the undead queen, but had great admiration for Gehrman, unaware of his curious mania.  [Maria’s Hunter Set]

This description tells us a lot of things, but most of them are irrelevant to the subject of this analysis. I could go on for hours pointing out the similarities of her set to the Knight’s and other Cainhurst fashion but let’s not do that. What matters here is that Maria, despite being of noble blood, had no social prejudice towards her mentor (and I would assume, any of her fellow hunters.) and, just like Gwyn’s firstborn, “had respect only for arms and nothing else” :P

I wouldn’t say that the reason why she was heartbroken was the fact that Gehrman never revealed his feelings to her (as mentioned in the ask) but that she idolized him and the cause of the Byrgenwerth Hunters as a whole and couldn’t bear the guilt once the college’s research pushed their actions too far. Like Ludwig who had an unshakable faith in the ways of the Healing Church, Maria had faith in and was possibly in love with Gehrman and couldn’t believe that the man she admired so deeply would blindly obey Byrgenwerth’s orders.

“Go and kill those fishmen who did nothing wrong and aren’t bothering anyone. Oh, and be sure to rip that umbilical cord from the body of thad Great One that washed ashore.”

“Yep.” No question asked.

THAT’s why Maria felt betrayed. It hasn’t anything to do with Gehrman’s “mania”. In my headcanons Gehrman’s total obedience to Willem is motivated but there’s no solid proof in canon so let’s just say that Gehrman was an idiot who never questioned the orders from above :/

And now, let’s get to the final, FUNDAMENTAL point of this analysis: did Maria love Gehrman back?

Yes she did. Why else would anyone want to take a look at any picture one last time before killing themselves? To remember what they lost or could’ve had if things were different.

Why am I 100% sure that Gehrman is in that picture? Because in canon we don’t know the name of any other member of the Old Hunters. It’s just the two of them: Gehrman and Maria, the only ones with faces and backstory in a crowd of faceless, bloodthirsty mannequins.

Here you go, thanks Fextralife.

Love me like you do (Part 4)-Balem Series

A/N: This story is growing so much longer than anticipated lol But, I can’t help it….I love slow burns.


His eyes were glued to you, every footstep bringing him closer until you felt the heaviness of his presence before you. With every inch he closed your nerves began to shake, alerting you of danger and yet deep in the pit of your stomach you did not wish to move. It was strange for a man to have such an effect on you. Especially someone who was a complete stranger, but the way he moved, and those eyes…it was like a slow hunt he had planned and you couldn’t even fathom what he wanted.

“Better. Much better.”

He walked in a circle around you, so entranced by your new appearance. He admired the view, obviously pleased with the change and as he stopped behind you his fingers trailed along the skin of your back, making you squeak in surprise.

With a start, you scrambled away holding your hands up as if that’d stop him from coming any closer.

“Don’t you dare!”

“How dare I?” He seemed amused by your sudden show of defense, and with a delighted smirk upon his lips he just drew ever closer to you.

Within your chest your heart began to beat wildly, and you could almost hear every beat of it in your ears. But, even if you backed up he just closed the distance again, his amusement only growing.

“Do you know why you’re here? Why you’re still alive?”

He backed you into the corner, your breath caught in your throat as he lifted his hands. Balem placed them on either side of your head, nails scratching against the marble as he leaned down, his face mere centimeters from your own. You could practically feel the heat of his body, and it rolled off in waves as he spoke in that soft, yet demanding tone.

“It is because I’ve let you keep your miserable life. I could harvest you…”

As he said this, his eyes dropped to your lips eyebrow twitching like he was attempting to control whatever emotions he was feeling. He slid one hand down the wall, bringing it to your cheek yet not touching it. It hovered there, the warmth of his palm still being felt even with the absence of his touch. Fear crept inside you, and to stop your body from visibly shaking you turned your head to the side, not wanting to meet his intimidating gaze.

Balem’s lips stretched into a devilish grin, his eyes once again moving along your features and stopping at your eyes. He dared to reach out, allowing himself the pleasure of grazing your bottom lip with his thumb. He moved forward, lips stopping next to your ear as he whispered.

“And while your life is such a precious commodity for me, I choose to use it differently. To think…such a gem was hidden away on that wretched speck of dust.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, and with every word that passed those lips your knees grew weak. It was something that didn’t escape Balem’s notice, and he chuckled darkly as he pressed you fully into the wall, his chest firmly pushed into yours as he made you quite aware of his reasons.

“And I own you…that’s why you’re alive.”

He moved away slowly,and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding until now. A weak whimper left your mouth, and he only smiled triumphantly like he just won the best prize in the world. Before you could ask any questions, he turned on his heel, looking over his shoulder at you and nodding towards the double doors of his chambers.

“Follow me.”

You watched him walk away, keeping your eyes fixed on the tails of his long cape. It was the only thing that distracted you enough from your fear, and with all the boldness you had left you spoke up.


Balem stopped just at the doors, not turning just yet but you could tell he stiffened from the interruption. His green eyes were on you just then, and you took a cautious step back.

“Um…what do you mean harvest? And by own the earth and-”

“Enough with your questions. I’ve other matters to attend to, and you will escort me to them. Be grateful I’ve let you keep your existence, little bird.”

His pet name for you was almost charming, if not for the entire kid napping portion of your acquaintance. But, seeing how annoyed he was currently getting you sucked it up and moved along, crossing your arms over your chest to keep some dignity with how revealing the dress was. Your questions could wait, at least a while longer. With all you had just seen, there was no longer a doubt in your mind that this was all real and earth was a distant memory.

The doors to his chamber slid open automatically when he arrived at them, and he never once looked back at you the entire way towards your destination. It was uncomfortable really, the silence that had developed in the grand halls. The only thing that currently kept you sane was the marvelous designs along the ceiling. It looked like constellations almost, each one sparkling a different color. In an odd way, the beauty of it all settled your nerves.

“Ah, Lord Balem, this way please.”

You looked back down to see Mr. Night at the doors of another room, only inside there was a long golden table, with hovering chairs all around it. It was much like a dining room, or perhaps even meeting room. All you could think of was the many movies you saw as a kid. Apparently, the future was in fact real.

In your state of awe you didn’t notice the rat like creature next to you, and you moved away when you heard his soft voice.

“This way. Lord Balem will be having a meeting, you are tasked with attending to all his guests.”

“What?” You lowered your eyebrows at him, his words still processing. Attend? Like a maid? Or a waitress? You could almost scoff at the idea. “Absolutely not.” You weren’t sure where your sudden bravery came from, but something about being held prisoner and then being made to work rubbed you the wrong way, as it would any person.

Mr. Night simply laughed at your attitude, hands clasped behind his back as he opened his mouth to once again speak.

“Very well, shall I alert my Lord that you-”

“Mr. Night!”

The creature flinched at the sound of the angry voice calling him, and he scowled deeply at you before rushing towards his Lord. You watched them talk, or more like yell due to Balem, about something. It was rather amusing to see, and you could already tell this Balem was no ray of sunshine to be around. You were just happy his anger wasn’t directed at you.

Mr. Night took off down the hall, tapping at his tablet frantically and muttering about a man named Titus. Your natural curiosity was getting the best of you, and you almost followed the man out of the dining hall except a hand gripped your forearm tightly.


“You will stay by my side until this meeting is over, fetch the wine and stay silent. One word from you, and I will make no more promises to keep you alive.”

You looked from the hand up to the owner’s face, blinking stupidly when you saw Balem glaring down at you. He was quite the entitled one, already assuming you’d just go along with his every whim. But, fear of death would make just about anyone listen and with a pathetic nod you pulled your arm from his, rubbing at the spot and walking towards where you assumed the other servants were. There was a group of women at a table, setting up plates of food and drink. They all stood out, wearing equally fine dresses and hair made to look rather elegant. No doubt another touch to the fancy lifestyle this man liked to live.

“Um…” You stood awkwardly by one of them, trying to figure out what to do in all this whirlwind and when she heard you she glanced up. She smiled, holding out a large pitcher and shoving it into your hands.

“You’re the earthling, right? There was talk that someone escaped the harvest, rumor said you even killed a Sargorn. Though, I’m assuming that’s simply embellished.”

Of all the people you had met today, she seemed the most normal. It put you at ease, and you sighed heavily. “I don’t even know what that is, but I didn’t kill anyone. That I can assure you. But, what do you mean harvest?”

At your question, her face fell, and she gave you a sympathetic look before glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one could hear.

“I know this is scary, but the world is so much bigger than you thought. The Abrasax family, Lord Balem is the First Primary. He holds all the rights to many planets, and he’s the head of the entire businesses that run behind it. You see…”

She placed a few glowing orbs onto a platter, trying to figure out a delicate way to say this. “Time is so greatly sought after. These people, they are human as you and I are, but in order to keep their lives and businesses going, well…they harvest us. People. Planets. We are the essence of their business.”

Your mouth hung open in shock, and you tried to find the words but nothing would come out. You shakily put the pitcher back down, biting your lip before staring at her. “You’re telling me this family kills people from other planets to stay, what? Young? Alive?”

“All of the above. My planet was recently harvested by Lord Balem, he only lets a few live, and only when it benefits him. Either they undergo genetic splicing, or become servants. My brother and father were taken into the genome department, spliced with the DNA of other creatures and made to become legionnaires. Essentially, other planets allow these families, and there is more than the Abrasax, to keep ruling. We become their life source, or their army, or anything else they may need.”

If only your eyes could speak for you, but you were far too shocked to even say a word. You wanted to laugh, or cry, nothing made sense. But, to think that for your entire life you were in the dark of other beings stealing that of the people around you…well, missing case reports were starting to make sense now.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but don’t worry. It gets easier.”

She smiled at you, leaning closer as she whispered out the last part. “Some of the serving girls even become bed mates to Lord Balem. He only chooses the finest ones, and I’m sure seeing as how beautiful you are he’ll be quite taken with you.”


At your outburst the other serving girls turned to look at you both, and you nervously waved them off as you went back to talking to her. “I mean…no, it’s not-”

“Oh, don’t be so modest. You wouldn’t be the first pretty face to turn his head, and certainly not the last. He’s quite fickle you see. He grows bored very easily, that one…”

She pointed to another girl across the table preparing some drinks, and she cupped her hand over her mouth. “She was his bedmate for maybe a week before he let her go. Grew tired rather quickly, rumor is she fell in love with him and he denied her. She’s lucky she was able to stick around. The last girl who bedded him threw such a fit when he dropped her, no one has seen her since.”

“He killed her?!”

“Shh! Keep your voice down.”

She lowered her hands, motioning for you to stay quiet. She nervously looked around again, making sure Balem himself wasn’t behind her. “Some think he did, but I’m pretty certain he just pawned her off on his younger brother. They’ve always been at each other’s throats. And nothing angers Titus more than knowing he isn’t the most sought after bachelor in the Abrasax family. Quite a handsome man he is, but he squandered most of his money, so that naturally makes Balem more desirable to women.”


To say you were at a loss of words would be an understatement, but when you looked up to see the Lord he was sat upon a hovering throne, cape draped along the golden arms of it as he awaited his guests. It was strange to you, to think all this intergalactic drama was unfolding while you just worked your life away at a coffee shop. Not to mention, these royals have been around for millennia simply because they killed others.

“So you haven’t bedded him?”

“What? No….look I just want to get back home, and pretend this never happened.”

As much as you wanted to save the others, you had no doubt inside that they had already been killed. There was no way a man like Balem left things unfinished. But, you were so small in the scheme of all things, there was little you could do.

“There’s a shock.”

You looked at her curiously, awaiting an explanation behind her words and she only giggled in return.

“All these girls here are vying for his attention, but it looks like he’s got his eyes on you instead. For whatever it’s worth…”

She finished decorating her platter with food, raising the tray in her hand and speaking quickly before heading towards the table. “I hear he’s quite the lover, leaves all his bed mates satisfied to the point they go back for more.” She winked at you, and walked off, leaving you standing there like a fish out of water.


A/N: As always, feedback more than welcomed. ❤️

Happy 20th, Stargate SG-1

I was thinking about whether or not I should write something, or if I should simply keep on reblogging amazing gifsets and tributes for a little while before going to bed and calling it a day.

But it kept nagging me, and I can’t stand the thought of letting this go without at least having said something. Can’t let this day just slip by.

Of course I had to write something. 

It’s not every day one of your favorite shows turns 20. 

It’s hard for me to pick an absolute favorite show, but I think I’ve got it down to two. Doctor Who is pretty obvious, and most people I know wouldn’t be surprised. I think Stargate SG-1 would actually be a bit weirder for them to hear. But it’s the truth. This gem of a science-fiction action series is one of my favorite shows of all time. 

I don’t remember when I first started to watch Stargate. It’s one of those shows that was always on tv when I was a child. Or at least it feels like that (it still does. Literally every time I turn on the right channel, it’s there). I’m 21, so I wasn’t there from its inception. But my dad was. And he LOVES Stargate. 

I actually think that he showed me the movie first. We both share a love of science fiction (I probably got it from him), and I remember seeing that very very early (we’re talking maybe 6 or 7 years old). I think the subtitle was Danish.

Anyway, my dad usually sat watching reruns, or occasionally the new season, of Stargate SG1 late in the evenings in our living room. I don’t remember why, but I started sneaking down, hiding behind a bookcase, and trying to watch the show along with him. Of course, I was soon discovered, and he asked me to watch it with him. 

It became a Thing. Every other night, I would go down, make some sandwiches (and sometimes there’d be candy!) and pour a glass of milk and sit down in the sofa and watch Stargate SG1. I didn’t really watch it chronologically at first. I popped in whenever I was at my dad’s place and he’d explain to me if anything important had happened. The only moment out of these that I remember clearly enough was when I one day asked “Wait, what happened to Daniel? Who’s the new guy?” and found out that Daniel had died a few episodes prior. My heart was crushed! (I warmed to Jonas though). 

Of course, he came back. Because Daniel always comes back. (Lucky me, to finally find a favorite who always comes back.)

(Seriously though, Daniel was my first fictional crush. Which I’ve never gotten over.)

After a while, my dad started buying the DVDs, and we instead sat down and watched the show chronologically, which I’ve done many times over since. On my own, trying to get friends into it, trying to get my sister to watch it (which took time), etc. We also started watching Stargate Atlantis together, which was on tv on Fridays. Sci-fi Fridays. Even if I later have watched the show over and over, it was still Our Thing.

Which might seem odd to many, but it was very important to me. I’ve had a bit of a complicated relationship with my dad, to say the least. Sometimes I doubt if he’s capable of having an uncomplicated relationship with people (than again, who can do that?). But anyway, those Stargate evenings were, most of the time, a break from that. From arguments, from awkwardness, from temper tantrums. They were just there. And that was so important to me.

Now I’ve talked about one aspect of why this show is my favorite, and it’s a highly subjective reason at that. But it’s one reason of many, even if its very personally important.

I grew up with this show, and through that, I’ve grown up with these characters. More than any other show I’ve ever watched, it feels like I know these characters. They do feel like friends to me, as clichéd as that sounds. Friends and family. Their journeys, friendships and struggles means so much to me, because I’ve connected to them all throughout my life. And I think there are some absolutely wonderful characters on this show.

I think Stargate sets itself apart from other similar sci-fi shows. I mean, it’s not the most diverse (though Sam is an AMAZING female character for this sort of thing). It’s not always the most well-written. But it has such heart. It’s a militaristic show, sure, but at its heart, it’s about friendship and family and learning. It’s a militaristic sci-fi show that has such high hopes for humanity, and for the cooperation between peoples and species. Daniel’s idealism is treated as naive sometimes, but it’s also treated as exactly that - ideal. It has a core message that’s about being kind, about how humanity can learn new things, search for knowledge, and that it is what sets us apart. I love those kind of uplifting stories. And the actors and crew members behind this show put so much effort into it, and it shows. Sam Carter wouldn’t be half the amazing character she is without Amanda Tapping. Teal’c wouldn’t have his charm without Chris Judge.

And of course, the show doesn’t take itself seriously at all. I mean, yes, it can get serious, that’s not what I meant. But it has no problem mocking itself, making fun of itself, playing with expected tropes, playing with stereotypes. It knows so well how to have fun with what it is. It’s self-aware. It wants to make you laugh and it succeeds because they’re laughing along with you. And when it gets serious, you know its because they’ve really earned it. O’Neill has made me laugh and O’Neill has made me cry, and it always felt just as genuin. 

It’s not perfect, but in the end, it does what I think sci-fi does best, and that’s trying to tell us something about ourselves. It told me many things about myself, I know that. And it spawned wonderful spin-offs and audio dramas and books and comics and a fanbase that’s still going strong ten years after the show’s cancellation. Fans who are amazing and kind and who get such a warm welcome from the fantastic actors behind it. 

So, this has been my rambling about why this silly 10 season sci-fi show means so much to me, and yet I feel like I haven’t been able to say even half of the reasons it matters to me. Gotta save that for another time then. I’ve gotten enough sappiness for today. But I can’t help it, I love this show. I love the fans. I love the actors and the spin-offs (don’t know what to think about Origins yet, unsure about the era, but I’m excited for new Stargate stuff, always!). 

Got to finish of by saying that my heart has probably never beat as fast as those two days about a year apart when I got to talk to two of those actors who’s meant so much to me throughout my life, and my face has probably never been so red and I’ve probably never mumbled and rambled as much. But they were super graceful and amazing people, dealing with me, and I love them all the more for it. (My face is just a huge smile in these pictures and it looks WEIRD but I have to deal with it and I will still treasure them SO MUCH)

Thank you, Stargate SG-1. Happy 20th anniversary. 

anonymous asked:

You always reblog book quotes so I hope you don't mind me asking what is your favotite book and why?

Damn this is a hard question. How can I pick just one? D: Mmmmmh I think the only way I can give you an answer is a short list in no particular order:

  • The Princess Bride by William Goldman. I love its narrative structure and how exaggerated and heartwarming it is. The movie doesn’t even come close to the book.
  • Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. I know I’m biased, but I genuinely consider this book one of the best novels ever written. The main characters are fantastic, Jane is sooo badass and Edward is adorkable. Some passages from this book are so beautiful I just want to read them again and again and cry in a corner.
  • The Nutcracker and the Mouse King by E.T.A Hoffmann. I always had a deep love for this fairy tale since I was a kid. I’ve read many translations and I could write a damn essay about its symbolism (and I am, in fact, currently reading one and it’s SO GOOD and I agree with every single word) and how it relates to Hoffmann’s vision of the world. 
  • The Man who Fell to the Earth by Walter Tevis. During my childhood, my parents exposed me to a ton of stuff that involved David Bowie in some shape or form. I’ve never turned into a fan of his work but I am so glad I discovered this gem of a book. It’s so heart-wrenching and thought-provoking! I love it.
  • The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. The book that made me interested in paganism and then turned me into an atheist with a deep -but strictly anthropologic- interest in the occult and ancient religions. Awesome female characters.
  • The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter. This book is everything. Angela Carter is my damn hero and I love everything that she wrote but this little book in particular. It’s scary, sexy, provocative and you should read it.
  • Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury. A story about two kids but the really interesting character is the father of one of them. I love how this book takes its time to explore the father-son relationship, a rare sight in fantasy/adventure books aimed at a younger audience. This book is both poetic and mature and the reason why young-adults authors should stop killing off parents from their narratives.
  • The Caves of Steel by Isaac Asimov. A buddy cop adventure starring a detective and a human-like robot. Their dynamic is fantastic, the mystery intriguing and well-thought-out. The sequels are even better.
  • A Midsummer’s Night Dream by William Shakespeare. My fave play by the Bard. I’ve seen it multiple times on stage after watching the 1999 movie starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Ruper Everett. I really like how all the plots entwine in the end and how cheeky and sassy the comedy is.

anonymous asked:

Suga headcanon meme pls

thank you for requesting this beautiful boy for these

i’m looking for new admins to run this blog with me! details are here for anyone interested

if you like what i do and want to show your support, consider supporting me on ko-fi!


Headcanon meme time

⌆ a nervous tic or habit they do

  • Uses filler words (um, uh, well, etc.) more often than usual and he’ll drag them out too.

⏀ describe their usual smile

  • Beautiful. Radiant. Stunning. You’re gonna need to wear sunglasses when you look at him. He should be the “after” picture in dental ads.

⇅ do they look up or down while thinking?

  • He looks up and either to the left or right a bit, most definitely.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I absolutely love your blog! I've gone through all the VC cannon and so many of the wonderful fanworks, but now I'm having withdrawals! Is it strange that my solution is to watch Rise of the Guardians? I mean, Jack Frost IS a cheeky undead optimist who's trying to find his purpose in the world :P My real question is, are there any Lestatesque/VC-esque books or movies you'd recommend? I agree that OLLA and What We Do in the Shadows are fantastic >:D

Merci beaucoup, glad you like this thing! You want more?

You do, I see >:}

I’d agree w/ you about Jack Frost, he’s forced into his immortal status by accident, too, and he’s orphaned and has to figure out what to do w/ himself, too. Jack and Lestat are definitely both cheeky undead optimists! And yes, OLLA and What We Do in the Shadows are fantastic, that’s for sure! Those movies were very much the VC movie we had been waiting for, with different facets of VC-adjacentness. OLLA more for the aesthetic and WWDITS more for the comedy.

I don’t think that any ONE movie or book (or book series) has all the ingredients that make up that unique VC flavor but there are many that are adjacent. I knew this was going to end up being a masterpost, that’s why it took so long. Also I restrained myself from any Tom Cruise movies. He should have his own masterpost ;D

*cracks knuckles* Okayyy… SO, 

VC-Adjacent is more doable than Lestatuesque, bc everyone’s headcanon of Lestat varies and we all know how attached I am to Tom Cruise So I’ll give you one Lestatuesque rec and the rest are VC-Adjacent.


Blade Runner (1982) - this movie is mentioned in canon (QOTD). AR had wanted to cast Rutger Hauer as Lestat. But he was too old when they finally got IWTV into production D: so watch this and see her vision for Lestat.

Over and over [Armand] watched Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, fascinated by Rutger Hauer, the powerfully built actor who, as the leader of the rebel androids, confronts his human maker, kisses him, and then crushes his skull. It would bring a slow and almost impish laugh from Armand, the bones cracking, the look in Hauer’s ice-cold blue eye.

“That’s your friend, Lestat, there,” Armand whispered once to Daniel. “Lestat would have the… how do you say?… guts?… to do that!”

In no particular order* 

(and @annabellioncourt​ helped me out here, so wherever there’s an *, those are her recs that I agreed with)(and there are other movies I love obviously, but I tried to limit this list to VC-Adjacent only; and I couldn’t think of any of my fave books that come close enough to fit in here).

Vampire movies:

  • *Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) - Well this goes w/o saying, and it also shared movie!IWTV’s Michele Burke as head of the makeup dept ;D
  • The Lost Boys (1987) - @skeletalroses​ is kind of my authority on this one, and >>>this movie is cited as a major inspiration for WWDITS.<<<
  • What We Do in the Shadows (2014)- Including it on here bc of reasons, this is a very classy documentary of several vampires flatting together in New Zealand as a big coven ball approaches.
  • Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) - Including it on here bc of reasons, this is a very classy film of several vampires visiting together in Detroit, Michigan, and Tangiers, Morocco, as the world is slowly taken over by the “zombies” (not actual ones, metaphoric ones). And there are alot of parallels between the married couple and Claudia Ava, who is thirsty all the time and above the law bc of course she is.
  • Shadow of the Vampire (2000) - It’s a behind-the-scenes fanfic of the filming of the legendary Nosferatu! Mostly horror w/ a dash of comedy. Bonus: Eddie Izzard.
  • Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) - Yeah I love Leslie Nielsen, fight me. It’s a Dracula parody. This will never not be funny.
  • Jennifer’s Body (2009) - well she’s not really a vampire but she eats ppl, so close enough. I love the dynamic between Jennifer and her best friend, how you’re not sure whether Jennifer wants to bring her into this, or just terrify her, but there is something kind of Akasha-esque about this creature.
  • Let the Right One In (2008) - the original is better than the US remake (Let Me In, 2010) but they’re both worth watching. Child vampire! Choosing a new BFF! She has to respect the Being Invited In Rule, tho.
  • The Little Vampire (2000) - a cuter child vampire, w/o much of the angst of being a child vampire, overall super cute and I had to include this bc of Jack Frost. 

Other Horror movies/shows:

  • *Crimson Peak (2015) - @annabellioncourt​ says: “would be a fair addition because of the atmosphere of it as well as its campy factor”
  • Hannibal (2013-2015) - the TV series bc #murder husbands, like c'mon. One pushing the other into being more murdery and the other resisting it. @cloudsinvenice informed us that “Bryan Fuller was a huge IWTV fan growing up - there’s a Nerdist podcast in which he describes how, at the age of 13, he phoned Anne Rice because he wanted to work on the IWTV screenplay. The story is a gem and starts about 32 minutes in, but the whole thing is really great.”
  • The Walking Dead (2010-current) - my new drug, group dynamics, fighting for supremacy, survival, romance, killing!
  • Sweeney Todd (2007) - It’s pretty goth, it has some comedy, it has murder, it has ppl pining for each other. Also, a musical. My fave is the whole By the Sea song sequence bc Helena is trying so hard!
  • The Witches of Eastwick (1987) - Jack Nicholson is the devil and wants to make his own harem of 3 powerful witches what could possibly go wrong? There is a hilariously awful scene in a church. Jack approaches Lestatuesque levels of charm as he courts these women, and then there’s supernatural stuff going on. 
  • The Addams Family (1991) - Gomez and Morticia have the kind of ship Lestat would kill for. He would probably dig their aesthetic to some extent, too. Also murderous kids, who are encouraged to be murderous. ONE HAPPY FAMILY.
  • Black Swan (2010) - something about this, maybe the aesthetic, feels very Theatre Des Vampires.
  • Beetlejuice (1988) - Alec Baldwin! Looked like this once upon a time! But mostly, ppl dealing with being dead and not having a very helpful ghost w/ the most trying to help them. When it works for him.
  • Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) - campy, musical, murdery, I still don’t really know what it all really means but it’s fun. Dr. F can be compared to Lestat, in that he’s lusty, charming, glamorous, materialistic, bossy as hell, has a real mean streak, tries to make the perfect lover for himself and fails at it over and over… an essay could be written comparing them. @laurasking is my authority on RHPS.

Other movies/shows:

  • Phenomenon (1996) - Telekinesis and someone dealing w/ acquiring it, and how his community treats him bc of it. THIS IS CUTE so like, yeah, much further away, I almost didn’t include it. Gonna lose my reputation over this rec OH WELL it’s your fault, Anon, bc Jack Frost.

Anime - recc’d by my best friend:

  • Vampire Princess Miyu - “similar atmosphere" 
  • Witch Hunter Robin - “quite gothic”
  • Otogizoushi - “very atmospheric" 

Annbellioncourt’s Recs bc she is classier than me:

  • Byzantium (2012) - Neil Jordan’s first vampire movie since IWTV
  • Wolfman (2010) - “its cheesey, but its atmospheric, spooky, and bloody”
  • The Hunger (1983) - “is one I always suggest to people wanting more”
  • The Bloody Chamber And Other Stories - Angela Carter
  • Carmilla - Bunch of adaptations of this.
  • A Taste of Blood Wine -  Freda Warrinton
  • Blood Opera Sequence -  Tanith Lee
  • Historian - Elizabeth Kostova
  • Fevre Dream (yes its spelled fevre) by George R. R. Martin (yes, its THAT Martin, and his take on vampires is Very Good.)
  • Sunshine by Robin McKinley
  • The Delicate Dependency by Michael Talbot
  • The Hunger by Whitley Scriber

Voice of Louis - or, “I’ve had to listen to that, for centuries.”

@annabellioncourthad cited the following as similar to Louis’ voice in IWTV:

  • “Oscar Wilde’s era of the very late 19th century, which is what most people think of today when they think “Victorian writing.”

“Similar in voice (though not subject) would also be:

  • Matthew Arnold (read some of his essays, and tell me that’s not how Louis talks),
  • Wilkie Collins
  • Henry James

Moar recs from her under Spooky Book Recommendations

Anyone can feel free to comment or reblog this with their own recs *u*

Zodiac Signs in Detention.

*The signs in this scenario are Genderless and are only based off the stereotypical personality traits of each sign. So if it doesn’t relate to you, then that’s highly to be expected. Because it’s stereotyped. I also wanna apologize if your sign didn’t get enough attention, I tried my best to give every sign some attention, but if you feel they didn’t get enough, I’m sorry. Please enjoy, and all opinions are welcomed.* 🙇 ♥

*Scorpio* : This is…

*Capricorn* : Total bullshit.

*Aries* : We’re stuck in here all day.

*Gemini* : If only you two had just left the situation as it was.

*Sagittarius* : Oh don’t you even blame us!

*Libra* : Yeah Sag is right! It’s not our fault!

*Capricorn* : You got all pissy upset because the teacher took y'all phones.

*Scorpio* : Then for whatever freakin reason, you two decided to spray paint their car.

*Aries* : I still don’t understand…why the rest of us got caught in this mess.

*Taurus* : You. Idiots.

*Cancer* : I agree. We weren’t even apart of that.

*Libra* : Didn’t mean for you guys to get involved…

*Aquarius* : I’m…missing my favorite show. And I… *cries* didn’t even record it!

*Pisces* : *Sighs* This whole situation is just unfair.

*Leo* : Yeah. It’s unfair on so many levels.

*Sagittarius* : But we’re all friends!

*Libra* : Yeah! Friends go down with each other!

*Virgo* : Friends go down with each other!? I’m gonna kill you for even having the nerve of saying that!

*Cancer* : Virgo calm down.

*Taurus* : We were only walking out the school.

*Leo* : Aries tried to stop them. Unfortunately.

*Hours earlier*

*Sagittarius* : Come on Libra. Pass me that red.

*Libra* : Here. I’m spraying the windows and you do the writing.

*Sagittarius* : Hehehe. *spray paints swear words all over the car*

*Libra* : Oh shit someone’s coming. Hide!

*Sag and Libra duck behind the car*

*Libra* : Oh it’s just them! Hey guys-!

*Sagittarius* : Still Shhhhhh! They’re just gonna scold us. Keep hidden.

*Aries, Leo and Aquarius walk out the school*

*Leo* : You guys coming over?

*Aries* : Yup. I ain’t got nothing else to do.

*Leo* : Watch movies?

*Aquarius* : Ugh I’m tired of just watching movies. Besides, I plan on going home and watching my favorite show.

*Aries* : Hey wait… Is that Sag and Libra over there.

*Leo* : Oh no… Look at the car.

*Aquarius* : *gasps* They’re gonna get in major trouble for that!

*Aries* : Come on let’s get them away from the scene of the crime. *runs over*

*Leo* : Aries no! Let them do whatever… Ugh dammit. *runs over too*

*Aquarius* : Wait for me! *follows up behind Leo*

*Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces walks out of the school*

*Pisces* : Hey look ! *points at everyone near the car*

*Scorpio* : Ignore it Pisces.

*Capricorn* : Yeah. If we keep walking, they won’t see us.

*Sagittarius* : Too late I see you! Yooooooo! You not gonna come say bye!

*Capricorn* : Why, why god? *sighs*

*Pisces* : Guess we have no choice. *walks over*

*Scorpio* : Pisces no… *sighs and follows*

*Taurus, Gemini, Cancer and Virgo come out the school*

*Virgo* : So let’s head to my house and study for this test. I refuse to have a bad grade.

*Gemini* : Yeah yeah. Such a perfectionist.

*Cancer* : That’s not it. Virgo just does their best.

*Taurus* : Their best at being a perfectionist.

*Virgo* : Oh shut up you two…hm? What are all of them doing huddled at that car?

*Cancer* : Whoa. That car is all…

*Taurus and Gemini* : Colorful !

*All four run over towards the car with everyone else*

*Libra* : Oh shut up Aquarius! We’re not overreacting! I just don’t like when people touch my stuff.

*Aquarius* : This is over the top and you know it. The teacher was gonna give it back, all you had to do was be patient! Now this could even get you expelled!

*Libra* : It won’t if they don’t find out ya worrywart!

*Sagittarius* : Exactly. If they don’t find out it was us, then we’re safe from any consequences.

*Aries* : Can you two really be that sure of yourselves that neither of you will get caught?

*Leo* : Aries is right. What if they’ll be able to trace everything back to the both of you.

*Libra* : I’m telling you they won’t. If we leave right now…

*Pisces* : Hey Sag. What are you all doing over here?

*Sagittarius* : Getting revenge like a muthafucka.

*Scorpio* : See why we should’ve just let them do whatever.

*Capricorn* : Exactly. Let’s go home.

*Virgo* : What the hell did you guys do to this car?

*Gemini* : Looks like they gave it a lovely Little make over.

*Cancer* : Make over? Seems like the complete opposite.

*Libra* : Oh not you guys too.

*Taurus* : Shouldn’t everyone be home by now? What’s even going on?

*Pisces* : Sagittarius and Libra are taking their anger out on the teacher that took their phones.

*Aries* : By clearly defacing the teacher’s car. *sighs*

*Leo* : Oh don’t you even sigh. You’re the one that wanted to get them away from the scene of the crime.

*Aquarius* : We should just hurry and go before all of us get in trouble.

*Sagittarius* : Aquamarine’s right, we need to get outta here.

*Aquarius* : It’s Aquarius you idiot…

*Taurus* : We shouldn’t have come over anyways.

*Virgo* : For real. I’m going home. I need to study. Taurus, Cancer and Gem, come on.

*Cancer* : But…

*Scorpio* : But nothing. Since Sagittarius and Libra dug their own hole, they both can sleep in the damn ditch.

*Capricorn* : Damn right. None of this is relevant to any of us, except for the ones who committed this petty act. *glares at Sag & Libra*

*Pisces* : Awe come on guys. We can’t just leave like this. We’re all friends right? We could probably help clean this up somehow.

*Gemini* : No. Not even those little friendship speeches is gonna fix this.

*Taurus* : I have to agree unfortunately.

*Cancer* : Aw come on, let’s all just calm down.

*Aquarius* : I’m calm.

*Leo* : Me too. I’m sorta about to lose my patience though to be honest.

*Aries* : We’ll all just have to…Oh crap!

*Security guard sees all the signs*

*Guard* : Hey! What’s going on over there!

*Back in Detention/Present*

*Leo* : If only Aries had just ignored the whole situation…

*Aquarius* : We wouldn’t be in this mess and I wouldn’t be missing my show.

*Aries* : It’s not my fault! I wanted to help.

*Aquarius* : And look where we are now due to your attempt to help.

*Pisces* : Everyone let’s just calm down and get it over with. Let’s just be grateful that the consequence isn’t severe.

*Virgo* : You’re right. Let’s be grateful. Real freakin grateful that Libra and Sag got us in this mess in the first place!

*Cancer* : Virgo calm down. You’re gonna get worked up.

*Scorpio* : Virgo, take that bass out your voice. There’s no reason to yell.

*Virgo* : Oh to hell with you. You’re just as pissed as everyone else in this room.

*Scorpio* : Of course I am, but I’m not taking it out on people that don’t deserve it.

*Virgo* : Oh I’m sooooo sorry for yelling at your precious little Pisces.

*Scorpio* : *clenches fist*

*Capricorn* : Relax Scorp.We’re all just a bit frustrated.

*Scorpio* : How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that.

*Taurus* : Virgo stop taking your anger out on Pisces.

*Gemini* : Yeah. It’s unnecessary. Besides we all know who deserves the real tongue lashing.

*Libra* : *groans and puts their head down*

*Taurus* : It’s only detention.

*Gemini* : Plus washing off the teacher’s car.

*Leo* : Oh no. We’re all gonna spend detention together, that I don’t mind. But I be damn if I’m gonna clean off that spray paint.

*Capricorn* : I agree. We shouldn’t have to do that part.

*Scorpio* : Exactly. We’ll show up but we not cleaning that shit.

*Libra* : Awe come on guys, that’s gonna take hours…

*Sagittarius* : Yeah. At least help for a few minutes or something.

*Taurus* : You idiots should’ve thought about that before you did it.

*Sagittarius* : We wouldn’t be doing any of this if we’d just bailed real quick.

*Scorpio* : You’re the dumbass that yelled out to us.

*Cancer* : I can’t speak for everyone else but I’ll help.

*Pisces* : Yeah me too. I mean yeah we shouldn’t be, considering we did nothing wrong, but helping out wouldn’t hurt. We’ve stuck it out through even worse situations than this.

*Aries* : Damn you Pisces and your friendship speeches.

*Leo* : Pfft…Pisces is so sensitive.

*Pisces* : I’m guessing that wasn’t a compliment?

*Leo* : Oh no it was. You’re like the glue in this group.

*Capricorn* : Yeah. The glue.

*Aries* : You keep us together with your words of wisdom.

*Pisces* : *blush*

*Scorpio* : It’s true. You’re like our own little mediator.

*Virgo* : *sighs* Fine. I’ll help. Besides, I’m the only one here that has all the cleaning tips anyways.

*Gemini* : Of course you do NeatFreak.

*Taurus* : I’ll help too. Ain’t got nothing to do anyways.

*Aquarius* : I’m missing my show anyways…

*Aries* : I’m gonna help too! Leo what about you?

*Leo* : Well I don’t know…

*Libra* : *Puppy dog eyes* Pwease…?

*Leo* : Ugh god please fix your face! Okay okay I’ll help. Dammit.

*Sagittarius* : So everyone else is willing to help?

*everyone else nods*

*Libra* : Oh you guys! I could cry right now. You guys are the best!

*Sagittarius* : Yeah. Really thanks guys! And we’re sorry. Sorry for getting you guys in trouble.

*Libra* : Yeah we’re sorry. So very sorry!

*Cancer* : We accept your apologies. Right guys?

*Scorpio* : Psh…

*Pisces* : I accept. What about you? *elbows Scorpio*

*Scorpio* : Yeah yeah whatever.

*Capricorn* : Tweedledee and Tweedledum better not do nothing like this again.

*Cancer* : Yup. No more stupid vengeful acts.

*Aquarius* : And if we do see you guys pulling something like that again, we’ll leave everything on you.

*Leo* : And Aries, next time next you wanna play super hero, I’ll gladly blame everything on you.

*Aries* : Why ya gotta be so cold to me…

*Leo* : It’s how I show my love. That’s all.

*Libra* : Oh there’s also one other thing that we didn’t tell you…

*Sagittarius* : Libra shut up!

*Taurus* : What thing?

*Sagittarius* : Oh nothing. Nothing at all!

*Virgo* : Sag shut up. Libra, what other thing ?

*Libra* : We uh…did something else. Before spraying the car…

*Scorpio* : What. Did. You. Do?

*Sagittarius* : It was just something small. And kinda Home Alone-ish…

*Leo* : Spill or I’m throwing something.

*Libra* : We set up a booby trap in the teacher’s classroom.

*Everyone else* : You did what?!


- all your answers should have only ONE character, unless stated otherwise. (i understand that it’ll be hard since all the Haikyuu characters are all so lovable but pls, pick only ONE otherwise there wouldn’t be any point to this game!)

- if you want to elaborate your answer as to why you picked something, go ahead! there is an implied why in all the questions.

- tag at least 10 other people. (share the Haikyuu love ♥‿♥)

- if you get tagged, pls copy the rules as well.

- and enjoy! (★^O^★) the whole point of this tag game is to have fun~

I was tagged by @sleep-pose!! THANK YOU this was really fun (also im going to take this opportunity to say I think you’re cooler than a cucumber)

Keep reading

My Ideal Wicked Movie Cast (and explanations)

We all know, and hope dearly, that a Wicked movie is in the works.  I have seen many casting options for various roles, and I have a list of my own!

First of all, the wicked one herself, Elphaba:

Now I know people will give me grief about Lea Michele playing Elphaba (as she has already sung many of Elphaba’s songs while starring in Glee).  However, she has a fantastic voice, we know she can act, and she looks the part!  An alternate role for Lea Michele would be Nessarose.

Next up, the bubbly G(a)linda :

I have always thought that Megan Hilty would make the perfect Glinda.  And not only because she’s played her before (and she was darn good when she did).  I chose her because she has Glinda’s most important features - her bubbly, bouncy, witty side and her operatic and dramatic side - all while looking the part.

The leading hunk of the Ozdust Ballroom, Fiyero :

Corey Cott is one hot hot HOT dude.  I mean, just look at that face!  He has recently been on Broadway in the revival of Gigi, so we know he can sing, dance, and act.  Although the fans all want Aaron Tveit to reprise the role in the film, I think a fresh face would bring new character developments to our already beloved Fiyero.

Oh awkward and lovable one, Boq :

Boq has always been the awkward little gem of the show!  And who else was the awkward gem of his most recent Pitch Perfect movies??  That’s right : Ben Platt!  He’s got the awk, he’s got the charm, he’s got the voice.  What more could you want from a movie Boq?

The tragically beautiful Nessarose :

One feature that both Nessarose and Anna Kendrick share is a voice that sounds like a bell!  Nessarose needs to be a strong singer (check), a phenomenal actress (check), and lovable to the audience (check)!  An alternate role for Anna Kendrick would be Elphaba.

Now we have our sheepish teacher, Doctor Dillamond :

Okay now hear me out, yes I know Johnny Depp just played an animal character in Into the Woods.  However, I believe that the unique persona that he could bring to the character of Doctor Dillamond would be an interesting flare to the character.  Plus, we know he can act like an absolute pro!

The wistful woman herself, Madame Morrible :

There’s no character that Meryl Streep cannot play.  We all know this.  This is common knowledge.  We know she can sing as well.  And with the pounds of Madame Morrible makeup, she could also perfectly look the part.  Case closed.

The man, the myth, the legend, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz :

Would Alan Cumming not make the perfect Wizard of Oz?  A huge history of both Broadway and film, a lovable personality that he could easily fuse with the Wizard’s character, and he looks the part (although not as old as the original character is to be thought - which is okay by me).

Now, Wicked fans everywhere would be thoroughly disappointed if the original lead cast members were not involved with the project.  So I’ve found a way to bring our lovely original Broadway leading ladies and the handsome leading man into the film cast!  Here we go…

IDINA MENZEL - Melena (Elphaba’s mother)

Yes, yes I know, she’s already played Lea Michele’s mother before.  But who cares?!  She plays it damn well!  And it’s the perfect way to bring her into the movie!


In the beginning of the story, Melena gives birth to her green daughter.  And who is right there helping deliver the child?  The kooky Midwife!  And who’s kookier than Kristin?!

NORBERT LEO BUTZ - Frex (Governor of Munchkinland)

He spoils Nessarose, his favorite daughter, and keeps Elphaba in check.  He’s the reason for the famous jeweled slippers.  And he’s a role in the movie that must be filled!  Why not by a Wicked native?

Well that’s all!  I hope you enjoy this cast!  Feel free to share your thoughts with me via reblog or message (messaging or fan mail)!

Let’s hope for the best!

anonymous asked:

...If you still want to write stuff: 18. for KaiShin, pretty please?

This is obviously crazy late, but to make up for it, it’s also incredibly long.  I hope you enjoy it.  8)  Thank you again for sending the prompt request.  I had fun writing this!

“Well, how are you feeling?” Haibara asked, voice flat, but eyes betraying her concern.  Shinichi took stock:  body at its correct proportions, no fever, no pain…

“I feel… okay,” Shinichi said, smile slowly stretching across his face.  “Haibara, I think we did it.”  He laughed helplessly, pressing his hands to his face.  He felt like he could cry with the sheer relief.

“I’d like to run some checks, just in case,” Haibara said, sighing quietly.  “You remember the questions we prepared yesterday?”

“The ones to check my memory?”

“Yes.  I’ll start from the beginning.  Please state your name and occupation.”

“My name is Kudou Shinichi, and I’m a student detective.  I most often work for the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Force.”

“I’d like you to name your closest friends for me.”

“Mouri Ran and Suzuki Sonoko are my childhood friends; Ran, my childhood crush.  Hattori Heiji is a hot-blooded detective from Osaka and one of my best friends and something of a rival.  The Detective Boys are Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, Genta, and Haibara.  They’re supervised—kind of—by Professor Agasa.  I work the most often with Inspector Megure and Detectives Satou and Takagi, along with Mouri Kogoro, Ran’s father.”

“Impressive.  As expected of Kudou,” Haibara said smiling.  Turning back to her notes, she continued, asking him to detail their operation from start to finish, explain the deductions he’d made at the end…

It was weird, though, for all he could answer every question, he felt like he was forgetting something.  But if it wasn’t in Haibara’s note cards, it must not have been all that important.

Keep reading

I was probably 19 when I first came to Hollywood. Eddie Murphy brought me out to do Beverly Hills Cop II and he had a deal at Paramount, so I remember going through the gates of the Paramount lot. He’s in a Rolls-Royce, and he’s not just a star, he’s the biggest star in the world. Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer’s office was in the same building as Eddie’s office, and they would come to work every day with matching cars. Some days it would be the Porsches, and the next day it would be Ferraris. I was like the kid in A Bronx Tale. I got to just hang around when the biggest parts of show business were happening. I was only there a couple of weeks, but I remember every day Jeffrey Katzenberg would call Eddie Murphy — I don’t even know if Eddie was calling him back — but it was like, “Jeffrey Katzenberg called again.” “Janet Jackson just called.” “Michael Jackson called.” It was that crazy. I’ve still never seen anything like it. I had a small part in the movie, but my dream was bigger than that. I wanted to have a convertible Rolls-Royce with a fine girl driving down Melrose blasting Prince.

Now I’m not Murphy, but I’ve done fine. And I try to help young black guys coming up because those people took chances on me. Eddie didn’t have to put me in Beverly Hills Cop II. Keenen Wayans didn’t have to put me in I’m Gonna Git You Sucka. Arsenio didn’t have to let me on his show. I’d do the same for a young white guy, but here’s the difference: Someone’s going to help the white guy. Multiple people will. The people whom I’ve tried to help, I’m not sure anybody was going to help them.

And I have a decent batting average. I still remember people thinking I was crazy for hiring Wanda Sykes on my old HBO show. I recommended J.B. Smoove for Saturday Night Live, and I just helped Leslie Jones get on that show. She’s about as funny as a human being can be, but she didn’t go to Second City, she doesn’t do stand-up at The Cellar and she’s not in with Judd Apatow, so how the hell was she ever going to get through unless somebody like me says to Lorne Michaels, “Hey, look at this person”? I saw her at a comedy club four or five years ago, and I wrote her name down in my phone. I probably called four managers — the biggest managers in comedy — to manage her, and all of them said no. They didn’t get it. They didn’t get it until Lorne said yes a few years later, and then it was too late.

Some of these younger black guys just want me to see their act. Some come to me for advice. Hannibal Buress called the other day. They want to know about agents and managers and the business; this kind of deal and that kind of deal; dealing with the media and dealing with family; money crap and where they should live. It’s big brother shit, and they ask because there aren’t that many black people to turn to. Who do you hire? Where’s the big black PR agency? Where are the big black agents? Where’s the big black film producer? That’s why I’ve been all over Steve McQueen. I put a microchip in Steve’s pocket and track him like an Uber driver. Steve thinks we keep bumping into each other by accident. “Hey, Steve, my man!” I don’t care if I have to play a whip, I’m going to be in a Steve McQueen movie. But I digress.

It’s a white industry. Just as the NBA is a black industry. I’m not even saying it’s a bad thing. It just is. And the black people they do hire tend to be the same person. That person tends to be female and that person tends to be Ivy League. And there’s nothing wrong with that. As a matter of fact, that’s what I want for my daughters. But something tells me that the life my privileged daughters are leading right now might not make them the best candidates to run the black division of anything. And the person who runs the black division of a studio should probably have worked with black people at some point in their life. Clint Culpepper [a white studio chief who specializes in black movies] does a good job at Screen Gems because he’s the kind of guy who would actually go see Best Man Holiday. But how many black men have you met working in Hollywood? They don’t really hire black men. A black man with bass in his voice and maybe a little hint of facial hair? Not going to happen. It is what it is. I’m a guy who’s accepted it all.

We cut it out in Top Five, but there had been a scene where Kevin Hart, who plays my character’s agent, is in his office talking to me, and he finds out that “Zoolander” (Ben Stiller) is down the hall and he’s mad because none of the agents called him. He’s the only black agent at the agency, and there was a line in the movie like, “I’m the only black agent here. They never invite me to anything, and these people are liberals. This isn’t the Klan.”

But forget whether Hollywood is black enough. A better question is: Is Hollywood Mexican enough? You’re in L.A, you’ve got to try not to hire Mexicans. It’s the most liberal town in the world, and there’s a part of it that’s kind of racist — not racist like “F— you, nigger” racist, but just an acceptance that there’s a slave state in L.A. There’s this acceptance that Mexicans are going to take care of white people in L.A. that doesn’t exist anywhere else. I remember I was renting a house in Beverly Park while doing some movie, and you just see all of the Mexican people at 8 o'clock in the morning in a line driving into Beverly Park like it’s General Motors. It’s this weird town.

You’re telling me no Mexicans are qualified to do anything at a studio? Really? Nothing but mop up? What are the odds that that’s true? The odds are, because people are people, that there’s probably a Mexican David Geffen mopping up for somebody’s company right now. The odds are that there’s probably a Mexican who’s that smart who’s never going to be given a shot. And it’s not about being given a shot to greenlight a movie because nobody is going to give you that — you’ve got to take that. The shot is that a Mexican guy or a black guy is qualified to go and give his opinion about how loud the boings are in Dodgeball or whether it’s the right shit sound you hear when Jeff Daniels is on the toilet in Dumb and Dumber. It’s like, “We only let white people do that.” This is a system where only white people can chime in on that. There would be a little naivete to sitting around and going, “Oh, no black person has ever greenlighted a movie,” but those other jobs? You’re kidding me, right? They don’t even require education. When you’re on the lower levels, they’re just about taste, nothing else. And you don’t have to go to Harvard to have taste.

Fifteen years ago, I tried to create an equivalent to The Harvard Lampoon at Howard University, to give young black comedy writers the same opportunity that white comedy writers have. I wish we could’ve made it work. The reason it worked at Harvard and not at Howard is that the kids at Howard need money. It’s that simple. Kids at Harvard come from money — even the broke ones come from money. They can afford to work at a newspaper and make no money. The kids at Howard are like, “Dude, I love comedy, but I’ve got a f—ing tuition that I’ve got to pay for here.” But that was 15 years ago; it might be easier to do it now because of the Internet. I don’t know.

I really don’t think there’s any difference between what black audiences find funny and what white audiences find funny, but everyone likes to see themselves onscreen, so there are some instances where there’s a black audience laughing at something that a white audience wouldn’t laugh at because a black audience is really just happy to see itself. Things that would be problems in a world where there were a lot of black movies get overlooked. The same thing happened with those Sex and the City movies. You don’t really see that level of female movie that much, so women were like, “We’re only going to get this every whatever, so f— you, f— the reviews, we’re going, we like it.”

And you should at least be able to count on your people, and then it grows from there. If someone’s people don’t love them, that’s a problem. No one crosses over without a base. But if we’re going to just be honest and count dollars and seats and not look at skin color, Kevin Hart is the biggest comedian in the world. If Kevin Hart is playing 40,000 seats in a night and Jon Stewart is playing 3,000, the fact that Jon Stewart’s 3,000 are white means Kevin has to cross over? That makes no sense. If anybody needs to cross over, it’s the guy who’s selling 3,000 seats.

But here’s one thing I’ve noticed in the last five to seven years, and I didn’t think I’d live to see this day. There used to be black film and Eddie Murphy, and the two had nothing to do with each other. Literally nothing. And in the world of black film, everything was judged on a relative basis — almost the same curve that indie films get judged on. It was, “Hey, House Party made a lot of money relative to its budget,” or “Oh, we only paid $7 million for New Jack City and it made $50 million.” Now, not only are black movies making money, they’re expected to make money — and they’re expected to make money on the same scale as everything else.

I think they’ve been better in the last few years, too — a little more daring, a little funnier. But look, most movies suck. Absolutely suck. They just do. Most TV shows suck. Most books suck. If most things were good, I’d make $15 an hour. I don’t live the way I live because most things are even remotely good. But when you have a system where you probably only see three movies with African-American leads in them a year, they’re going to be judged more harshly, and you’re really rooting for them to be good a little more so than the 140 movies starring white people every year.

The best ones are made outside of the studio system because they’re not made with that many white people — maybe one or two, but not a whole system of white people. I couldn’t have made Top Five at a studio. First of all, no one’s going to make a movie with a premise so little and artsy: a star putting out a movie and getting interviewed by a woman from The New York Times. I would have had to have three two-hour meetings explaining that black people also read The New York Times. A studio would’ve made it like Malibu’s Most Wanted. And never in a million years would they have allowed a scene where the rich guy comes back to the projects and actually gets along with everybody. No way. In most black movies — and in most black TV shows and even in most black plays — anyone with money or an education is evil, even movies made by black directors. They have to be saved by the poor people. This goes back to Good Times and What’s Happening!!

Now, when it comes to casting, Hollywood pretty much decides to cast a black guy or they don’t. We’re never on the “short list.” We’re never “in the mix.” When there’s a hot part in town and the guys are reading for it, that’s just what happens. It was never like, “Is it going to be Ryan Gosling or Chiwetel Ejiofor for Fifty Shades of Grey?” And you know, black people f—, too. White women actually want to f— black guys, sometimes more than white guys. More women want to f— Tyrese than Jamie Dornan, and it’s not even close. It’s not a contest. Even Jamie would go, “OK, you got it.”

Or how about True Detective? I never heard anyone go, “Is it going to be Amy Adams or Gabrielle Union?” for that show. I didn’t hear one black girl’s name on those lists. Not one. Literally everyone in town was up for that part, unless you were black. And I haven’t read the script, but something tells me if Gabrielle Union were Colin Farrell’s wife, it wouldn’t change a thing. And there are almost no black women in film. You can go to whole movies and not see one black woman. They’ll throw a black guy a bone. OK, here’s a black guy. But is there a single black woman in Interstellar? Or Gone Girl? Birdman? The Purge? Neighbors? I’m not sure there are. I don’t remember them. I go to the movies almost every week, and I can go a month and not see a black woman having an actual speaking part in a movie. That’s the truth.

But there’s been progress. When I was on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago, we did a sketch where I was Sasheer Zamata’s dad and she had an Internet show. Twenty years ago when I was on Saturday Night Live, anything with black people on the show had to deal with race, and that sketch we did didn’t have anything to do with race. That was the beauty: The sketch is funny because it’s funny, and that’s the progress. And there are black guys who are making it: Whatever Kevin Hart wants to do right now, he can do; I think Chiwetel is a really respected actor who is getting a lot of great shots just because he’s really good; if Steve McQueen wants to direct a Marvel movie, they would salivate to get him. Change just takes time. The Triborough Bridge has been the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge for almost 20 years now, but we still call it the Triborough Bridge. That’s how long it takes shit to change. We’re not going to be calling it the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge for another 10, 15 years. People will have to die for it actually to be the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge.

I don’t think the world expected things to change overnight because Obama got elected president. Of course it’s changed, though, it’s just changed with kids. And when you’re a kid, you’re not thinking of any of this shit. Black kids watch The Lord of the Rings and they want to be the Lord of the Rings. I remember when they were doing Starsky & Hutch, and my manager was like, “We might be able to get you the part of Huggy Bear,” which eventually went to Snoop Dogg. I was like: “Do you understand that when my brother and I watched Starsky & Hutch growing up, I would play Starsky and he would play Hutch? I don’t want to play f—ing Huggy Bear. This is not a historical drama. This is not Thomas Jefferson. It’s a movie based on a shitty TV show, it can be anybody. Who cares. If they want me to play Starsky or Hutch, or even the bad guy, I’m down. But Huggy Bear?”

I wouldn’t be here if I thought I couldn’t play those parts. I never limited myself. And that’s the beauty of Obama. It might be a generational thing, because the difference between Barack Obama and Jesse Jackson was that Jesse Jackson never actually ran for president. He ran to disrupt the presidency. If he actually ran for president, he probably could have been president. Jesse Jackson won a bunch of primaries in Southern states, but not for five seconds did he think he could be president, whereas Obama was like, “Yeah, I could be president,” and nobody stopped him. Literally, nobody stopped him.

—  Chris Rock’s superb essay on Hollywood’s race problem, from the Dec 12th issue of The Hollywood Reporter.

murderous-hipster  asked:

Good afternoon, I was wondering, given some previous talk about Troma, where to start with their various works? Also, I can't seem to find your ask page from your theme, had to type it in manually.

I’m surprised anyone can ever find it.  It’s hiding in the little red and white question mark (EDIT: Welp, nevermind.  For some reason, it ain’t there.  Gonna have to fix that).  My theme is desperately in need of a change, but that is yet another thing that I cannot do until I can get this “licensing has stopped working” crap figured out that’s preventing me from running Photoshop.

When it comes to Troma, they fall into two main categories: Films produced in-house, and films acquired for distribution.  The best place to start with Troma is their in-house productions (luckily, Troma has made most of their library available to be watched online via their official Youtube channel, so clicking each title will take you right to the movie!  However, I highly recommend picking them up on DVD or Blu-ray if you end up loving them, because the releases are always loaded with hilarious and wonderful extras):

  • Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. (1990) - Save for the Toxic Crusaders cartoon series, this would be your gentlest introduction into the Troma film universe, as it was–under the funding of Namco (yes, that Namco)–intended to appeal to a wider audience than most Troma fare.  It’s honestly one of the greatest and most enjoyable films in existence.
  • The Toxic Avenger (1984) - The film that first brought Troma widespread acclaim, this is absolutely quintessential viewing for anyone interested in the company’s films.  There is no choice.  Unfortunately, this one is not located on Troma’s Youtube channel, but you can still watch it for free online at Frightpix (they have an entire section dedicated to just Troma movies!).  Frightpix is also available as an app via Xbox Live as well!  There are currently three sequels in the Toxie saga, and they are also all worth watching (the first two were originally shot as a single film in Japan, where Lloyd and the crew won the affection and respect of the Japanese filmmakers they worked with by adopting Japanese customs while living there for the filming).
  • Class of Nuke ‘Em High (1986) - One of my personal favorites, mainly because of The Cretins.  If you’re also a fan of raunchy 80′s high school movies, this one’s for you!  There are four sequels following this one, with the latest being Return to Nuke ‘Em High Vol 1 (2013), and Return to Nuke ‘Em High Vol 2 (2016) (the latter will be out this year).  While I haven’t seen the series’ comeback, I personally enjoyed the first two Nuke ‘Em High sequels, even though I can understand why others didn’t care for them.
  • Troma’s War (1988) - This one got ol’ Uncle Lloyd in a bit of trouble back in the day, and it’s easy for the average person to see why.  It’s certainly not for the easily-offended (i.e., tumblr), but if you have a reasonable sense of humor, it’s…ridiculously entertaining.  I adore it.  Morton Downey was an asshole (if you don’t know how this is related, take a look).
  • Tromeo and Juliet (1996) - This is about as far-removed from the Bard as it gets, but this Tromasterpiece carries the honored distinction of being co-written by James Gunn, who would later go on to write the dialogue for Dawn of the Dead (2004) and Lollipop Chainsaw (2012), as well as write and direct Slither (2006) and Guardians of the Galaxy (2014).
  • Terror Firmer (1999) - It was this film that caused the Troma crew to run afoul of the NYPD numerous times, to the point of having their filming permit revoked (which, of course, didn’t stop them.  If Larry Cohen can shoot without permits, why can’t Lloyd Kaufman?).
  • Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006) - I will forever lament that I didn’t find out until too late from an ex that there was a screening of this within driving distance where Lloyd went out to lunch with a bunch of the audience afterwards.  I have had people reproach and shame me for recommending this movie to them.  I stand by my decision.
  • Mother’s Day (1980) - While this was made prior to Troma developing its distinctive style (at the tail end of the “sexy comedies” era that came prior to the unleashing of The Toxic Avenger upon the world), it was written and directed by Lloyd’s brother, Charles Kaufman, with Lloyd and Micheal Herz serving as associate producers.

Now, when it comes to the films picked up by Troma for distribution, not all of them are gems (Lloyd will be the first one to admit this, especially if anyone mentions Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell).  There are some films that became known due to being part of Troma’s distribution library, but have since been picked up by other distributors, and are thus no longer under Troma’s label, such as Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town (1989) (believe it or not, My Neighbor Totoro was originally distributed by Troma!!  They were the ones to first bring it to the United States!), so I can’t rightfully recommend those particular films in this post.  However, I can recommend a few that are still under their distribution, and are very much in line with the spirit of the company:

  • Redneck Zombies (1989) - Anyone that’s been following me long enough saw this entry coming.  Yes, this film is crude, shot-on-video (complete with cheap video distortion effects!), and sports plenty of offensive toilet humor and lampooning of sexuality that would never past muster with today’s audiences.  It’s beautiful.
  • Combat Shock (1984) - This is a film that requires an amount of patience to really appreciate.  It’s ugly, grueling, and has no happy ending, which is exactly how it should be.  Despite some outrageous elements, this is not a “fun” movie.  It’s a man’s life completely breaking down.
  • Cannibal! The Musical (1993) - Before they found mainstream success with South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone created a musical about notorious American cannibal Alferd Packer.  Troma was the only company willing to take a chance on it.  After their show debuted on Comedy Central to massive success, many companies tried to talk Parker and Stone into cutting ties with Troma, and passing distribution to a bigger company.  Both Troma fans, the pair declined, and it remains a proud part of the Troma library.
  • Surf Nazis Must Die (1987) - Not gonna lie: You’re either going to love this movie, or fuckin’ hate it.  There doesn’t seem to be any in-between.  It’s either going to be the most boring thing you’ve ever seen, or one of the most strangely charming.  Either way, it’s got a badass old black lady busting out of a retirement home, and blasting the shit out of a bunch of Neo-Nazis.  Long Live Leroy’s Mama!
  • Rabid Grannies (1988) - This oddity from Belgium (don’t worry–it’s in English) takes a while to get going, but once it does, it’s…something else.  I think it at least deserves credit for having some amazing poster artwork.  Also, it’s demonic old ladies killing and eating their relatives.  That’s a good afternoon watch right there.
  • BUTTCRACK! (1998) - Admittedly, this isn’t a feature-length film.  It’s also not exactly a cinematic masterpiece.  What it is, though, is…uh… Hmm.  I’ll leave that up to you to decide.  “Churn the milk and make it butter, churn the milk and make it butter!”
  • Monster in the Closet (1986) - Always believe your kids when they say there’s a monster in their closet, because they might just be telling the truth.  Notable for two reasons: First, it features a very young “Fergie” in her film debut.  Secondly, it’s got LGBT monster representation: Why do you think he’s in the closet?  This horror spoof is a lot of goofy fun–give it a chance!
  • Ferocious Female Freedom Fighters (1982) - Before there was Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002), there was this.  Previously a serious Indonesian action film called Perempuan Bergairah, Charles Kaufman got his mitts on it, and filled it full of toilet humor and absurdity.  Needless to say, the original director wasn’t pleased.
  • Def by Temptation (1990) - This supernatural thriller, written and directed by James Bond III (yes, that’s his name), revolves around the lives of young black men in America, and has some surprisingly, subtly critical things to say about the emotional and sexual baggage they carry, and their treatment of women.  Highly underrated, it also features Samuel L. Jackson!
  • Story of a Junkie (1985) - This is actually a critically-acclaimed documentary chronicling the downfall of a heroin addict in the 1980′s.  The “actors” are real junkies, and the sequences of hard drug use are entirely real.  There is no moral high ground; no preaching.  Just reality.  While not as “Troma” as the rest of the films on this list, I think it’s worth recommending, and good on Troma for giving it greater exposure.
  • The Taint (2011) - This is what it would actually look like if the world was really how tumblr “feminists” describe it.  That should be enough to ignite interest.  I’ll leave the rest in your capable hands.
  • Father’s Day (2011) - In the words of the great Arlo Guthrie:

    “ Mother rapers…Father stabbers…Father rapers!

    Some sick bastard is out to rape and murder the fathers of the world, and it’s up to a one-eyed former prison inmate named Ahab, a young male prostitute named Twink, and the devout Father John Sullivan to take down the man responsible–the same one that killed Ahab’s father long ago.  This film managed to be banned in Australia, which I’m sure the cast and crew are very proud of.
  • Bugged! (1997) - Another film headed by a black cast, this is essentially another “big bug” movie, but with a bit more goofiness to it than something like Phase IV (1974) (okay, maybe I’m kidding myself that Phase IV isn’t also pretty damn goofy).  In terms of production, it’s not the greatest, but being amateurish doesn’t mean that it can’t also be fun.  That’s really what Troma’s all about.

Lastly, because it brings me a great deal of personal joy, I must recommend the Angry Video Game Nerd’s video on the Toxic Crusaders video games, which features a delightful guest appearance by Lloyd Kaufman (I own the game on Sega, by the way.  It’s not great, but I’m not ashamed):

Tromaville may not be a place for everyone, but for those willing to visit, it’s a welcome vacation.

Lars and Sadie - The Issues

So, this is a matter I’ve thought about a lot and it encompasses quite a few thoughts so bear with me here.  

Lars and Sadie.  I get asked why I don’t ship it (at least outside of AUs where I actually do ship them) and I have plenty of reasons, but I think this sums up the biggest crux of them.

(Broken down into two parts for ease of reading.)


Point One:  Lars is Gay (or possibly Bisexual)

This one is important and I’d like to address it first.  I’ve gotten this impression for a very long time now.  A lot of Lars’ behaviour and dialogue hints toward it.

* Lars often seems confused about what to do with Sadie’s interest in him.  This could be a teenage thing, as he is an awkward teenager, but he doesn’t seem much interested in actually going anywhere romance-wise with Sadie.  It is implied that the two of them have done something sexual together in the past (Joking Victim) but whatever it was seems to have left a way bigger impact on Sadie than on Lars.

* Lars’ crush on Buck.  Whew… I think this one is painfully obvious, and I say that as someone who totally does NOT ship this as a pairing.  Lars is desperate to get Buck’s attention.  While initially he talks about the cool kids as a whole, his specific attention toward Buck becomes more obvious over time.  In Shirt Club, he was falling all over himself to try and get Buck to notice him.  Lars and the Cool Kids marks the first (and only) time we’ve seen Lars take off his shirt in canon, which is when Buck and co wanted to go swimming.  He didn’t even hesitate.  Contrast to Sadie who he was stranded with on an island for days (possibly a couple of weeks) and still never took off his shirt.

It’s even present in this newest CN clip.  Lars says he has no plans for the day off.   Sadie describes a date, basically inviting him over for movies and dinner.  Lars is like “Not interested.  But you know who that’d be great with?  BUCK.”

So… Sadie talking about going on a date makes Lars immediately think of Buck.  Someone’s crushing pretty hard here.

* Rebecca Sugar ships M/M stuff all the time.  Okay, this one isn’t based on the show itself, but Rebecca Sugar and at least one of the storyboard artists (if not more) are active m/m shippers (First in the EEnE fandom, but I point out that Rebecca’s comic, Pug Davis, has a very gay male character who is in love with his companion).  With that in mind, I’ve been surprised there’s been no overtly gay male characters on the show.  Now it’s a little harder to get away with when all the male characters are humans and they can’t easily handwave it as ‘perceived’ gender, but I’d wager anything that there’s some gay or bi males on the cast and Lars seems a prime candidate for it.

*Lars’ past relationship with Ronaldo.  This one is a whole can of worms…  I’m gonna have to break it down into two parts

-pt 1 - Their interactions as kids.  We see very little of this and yet it’s so rich in information.  The two of them were friends.  The scene involves them in their new 'secret clubhouse’.  Lars is the one who emphasizes how this is secret and no one can know and it comes up a lot.  Even more than that, upon first seeing the photo, Lars seems genuinely terrified and blurts out “you said this was secret”.  Ronaldo doesn’t utter that word once during this entire sequence, by the way.  

But even with Lars’ worry about things being secret aside, his reactions with Ronaldo are fascinating.  I tend to gauge some things by heteronormative subtext (ie: if these characters were a boy and a girl, what impression would this scene give).  If Ronaldo were a girl in this flashback, I think there’d be a lot of people assuming they’re a cute little couple.  Lars’ behaviour is downright flirty in some ways, his efforts to go out of his way to be silly and make Ronaldo laugh with his gestures is something I don’t see him doing much of in modern times.  Plus when he carves his name and Ron is confused, he says “I’m carving our names in”.  Not “mine”, but “our”.  Carving your own name and someone else’s into wood is such a commonly associated thing with Romance that it even has its own trope on TV Tropes (Sweetie Graffiti).  There’s a reason that a lot of people who aren’t even fans of either of these two characters make comments about them getting together… it’s because a lot of their interactions would read as romantic if they were a m/f friendship.

-pt 2 -  Lars’ current relationship with Ronaldo.  Frankly they avoid each other like the plague. But when forced to interact things get interesting.  A lot of Lars’ interest in the episode seems focused on Ronaldo.  His behaviour around Ronaldo actually does a 180 to his behaviour around most folks.  A lot of the time Lars slumps, but in this episode he stands up straight and Ronaldo is the one who continually is backing down.  Lars has put himself in the dominant/power position and Ronaldo seems to just accept this.  Even times when Sadie and Ronaldo are interacting, sometimes seems like more of his focus is on Ronaldo than Sadie (is Ronaldo 'moving in’ on my territory, etc).  Towards the end of the episode, Lars seems to even forget that Sadie was there until Ronaldo asks her if she’s okay.

That also doesn’t get into the way Lars invades Ronaldo’s space.  His action of flicking Ronaldo’s hair is jarring for both characters because neither of them seems to initiate physical contact much (but especially Lars).

Of particular note are some of Lars’ statements.  Especially when Sadie and Steven talk about the gem 'lashing out from feeling hurt and trapped’ and Lars immediately thinking it’s about him.  Many closeted folks describe feeling 'trapped’.  But also Lars’ almost throwaway line “We’re all just hearing things and seeing things and FEELING things that aren’t real.”  Feeling what?  I’m pretty sure Lars is talking about emotional feelings not tactile ones from the way he says it.  I suspect he’s got some lingering issues with Ron that go deeper than just thinking Ron is a dork.

Last, but certainly not least, is when Ronaldo teases him at the end and he blushes.  Note that Lars has dropped his aggressive stance and gone back to his normal one and the balance of power is no longer focused on him at that point.  But there is still an emphasis on their interaction and relationship and I’m interested to know more about both.


Point 2:  Sadie and Lars’ relationship is unequal and has some very toxic elements

There’s some issues with the Lars and Sadie ship that need some addressing right off, but I want to lead by saying that RonLarsSadie is my OT3 and I have no trouble with the CONCEPT of Lars/Sadie, just with the most frequent portrayals and the way certain things get ignored or brushed over when they should be addressed.  

Most of the issues I have with the ship come when people forget that aspects of their relationship are bad and need work before it can be considered healthy.  They’re both dumb kids who have a lot of growing up to do and they’re both great at ignoring the fact that you have to work at a relationship to make it work, whether it’s a friendship or romance.

So, with that out of the way, here are the concrete issues with their relationship

*It’s pretty one-sided.  Sadie is obsessed with Lars.  This is a whole big issue in itself, as Lars seems to be the main focus of Sadie’s attention all the time.  Outside of work and hanging with Lars, we barely see her doing anything on her own - discounting the things her mom makes her do, of course.  Other than Steven who makes himself friends with everyone, she seems to have no friends aside from Lars.  She goes to things with Lars and doesn’t necessarily seem to be into them herself (ie: Tiger Millionaire, she is not really into the wrestling in the way that Lars and the others are).  The only time she does a social event where Lars isn’t involved is the movie night in Horror Club and Lars winds up butting into that anyway.  Also Steven was the one who invited her and probably badgered her to come.

Lars’ reactions toward Sadie are kind of hard to read.  He does have a certain possessiveness, but his interest seems to be more in the respect of 'I need someone to make me feel good about myself’.  He hangs around with her a lot less when he starts getting in with the cool kids.

*Sadie’s focus on Lars has disturbing parallels with Rose and Pearl, where Sadie would 'do anything’ Lars asks her even when it’s to her own detriment and she even seems to kind of glorify or revel in the fact.  However, unlike Rose and Pearl’s relationship, Sadie also lashes out at Lars and is not above manipulating him.  She becomes aggressive with Lars when he lets her down
The fact that she didn’t even know for sure that Steven’s fire salt was safe and yet dumped a ton of it on Lars’ donut to 'punish’ him is not a good response and was really disproportionate, but that’s not the worst one, by far

Her lying and hiding the portal to strand them so he’d be forced to spend time with her is not indicative of a healthy relationship.  Lars was there against his will for several days if not weeks.  This is basically the equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome except he doesn’t know Sadie’s the person holding him hostage!  The kiss scene is hard to gauge in terms of his actual emotional state because he’s been put under extreme stress for a while by that point. Also, immediately after the kissing/cuddling scene, Lars is in the midst of an emotional breakdown and can’t take it anymore.  

Sadie’s response to this is to be frustrated.  Why?  Literally, he has to be at the point where he can’t take it anymore and she’s still seemingly not aware that what she’s doing is wrong and hurting him.  I’m not sure Lars is in any mindset to be romantic with anyone at this point.  Frankly I’m surprised he’s still maintaining a friendship with her at this point because some of the stuff that happened on the island could be considered torture in an attempt at coercion (lack of steady food, constant state of stress, etc).

And let’s not forget Lars’ negatives here either…

*Lars is leading her on.  He is.  At this point there’s no way he can’t know she’s romantically interested in him and he doesn’t seem interested in her in the same way.  But instead of admitting it, he strings her along, makes her do his work and do nice things for him and basically uses her.  

It may also be that he’s 'experimenting’ with her to figure himself out, which isn’t entirely uncommon, but the fact that he’s letting her think what she wants (I’m trying very hard to avoid quoting a spoiler here, but it’s basically confirmation that it’s to his benefit for Sadie to think whatever she wants about their relationship).

Lars may be uncertain about his own sexuality and what he wants and that’s fine, it’s part of growing up, but he needs to stop using Sadie to make himself feel better or more important, especially when it just causes her to get more obsessed with him.


In conclusion

All of that said, I think there are parts of their relationship that COULD WORK (at least they can work if Lars is bi and not just gay), but that they need to work around all of these other things to make it viable and not a problem where they’re both using and abusing each other in this disturbing cycle.

I hope they can figure it out. Trust me, as two-thirds of my OTP, I want them to be functional, but that is a long road and not a point where they’re currently at.

I have more thoughts on different character interactions and relationships with these two, but I think this is long enough for now.

Michael After Midnight: Kung Pow! Enter the Fist

Rarely do you see a film so insanely quotable, absurdly hilarious, and just downright misunderstood by critics as Kung Pow! Enter the Fist. This movie was absolutely TRASHED by critics upon release, some even citing the poor dubbing as a reason it sucked. And people still wonder why I don’t trust in professional film critics.

A little context for all of that: Kung Pow is what happened when Steve Oedekerk decided to take an old kung fu movie called Tiger and Crane Fist, do a joke dub over it, and add in new scenes and special effects, including making him the main character. The end result is basically the precursor to every abridged series ever made: it’s hilarious, insanely quotable, and a damn good parody of the source material that mocks and yet also resonates with a love of what it’s spoofing.

There is a plot here, sort of; it’s honestly ridiculous and… well, let me try to explain this. So there’s a chosen one… called Chosen One. As a baby, an evil man killed his family, and the Chosen One barely escaped; he then grew up in the wild, walking the earth (and sometimes driving, and sometimes partying with the local wildlife) until he joins a kung fu school. Then he meets the evil man again, who has changed his name to Betty. He also meets a woman with one titty, kung fu battles a cow, and also he’s the Chosen One because his tongue has a face on it. Its name is Tonguey. Yes.

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Full Disclosure: slayer of tropes

Don’t mind me, I’m just going to gush about another episode

This one is “Full Disclosure,” the Season 2 opener that occurs after the rather heavy events of the Season 1 finale. 

Steven’s initial phone call with Connie gets interrupted by Greg, to whom Steven explains everything that just happened. Greg freaks out a little bit, because he learns his son was abducted by Homeworld Gems who mistook him for Rose, may be pursued by more, and nearly died. So Steven witnesses his father’s panic attack:

As a result, Steven becomes hesitant to tell Connie about everything, suddenly understanding the full weight of what it means to be a crystal gem and to be in his situation. Which leads to one of the best musical numbers where Steven sings a duet with his ringtone:

Everybody tells me life is precious on the planet earth, and that means you, and I have to protect you, what if somehow you get hurt? What do I do? I don’t want that for you.

Seriously name me one other show that could pull this off. But here’s where the episode turns a corner and goes from good to great. It’s clear that Steven is miserable cutting Connie out like that. Yet he convinces himself that it’s the only way to “protect her.” Giving us:

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